Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 267. Victoria Arlen, ESPN Host, Paralympic Gold Medalist & Speaker

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267. Victoria Arlen, ESPN Host, Paralympic Gold Medalist & Speaker · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Even if I don't make it till tomorrow, at least
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: today I'm going to be happy, and at least today,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: if I don't make it, I'm going to have the
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: excitement about what tomorrow could possibly be.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Good morning, good afternoon, Good evening. Emily A. Badi.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Here you are listening to episode two hundred and sixty
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  Speaker 3: seven of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I connect
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  Speaker 3: with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts and
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: industry CEOs about their highest hies, toughest moments, and everything
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: in between. We all go through hurdles in life, and
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: my goal through these discussions is to empower you to
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: better navigate yours and move with intention so that you
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: can stride towards your own big potential and of course
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: have some fun along the way. For today's conversation, I
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: am sitting down with Victoria Arln. She's a host for
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: ESPN as well as a speaker and a Paralympic gold medalist.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Her story is truly I use this word trust me.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Listening back to this episode, I realize a bit much
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: remarkable and that is such an understatement, and that is
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: because at age eleven, Arlen developed two different rare conditions
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: that I won't even attempt to pronounce right now, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: those rare conditions caused her at the time to lose
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: her ability to speak, her ability to eat, her ability
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: to walk, and her ability to move. She slipped into
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: a vegetative state from which recovery was thought to be
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: extremely unlikely, and she shares in our conversation today the
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: multitude of times that doctors told her parents that everything
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: looked really, really grim. In today's episode, Victoria details the
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: entire timeline from ages eleven two fifteen when she endured
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: the unthinkable. Thankfully, her story one of hope. Not only
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: did Victoria completely beat the odds, ultimately realizing.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Her dreams that she had while she was in that.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Vegetative state of both becoming a Paralympic swimmer and gold
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: medalist as well as a host for ESPN.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: But there's more.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: After spending years in a wheelchair, Victoria was determined to
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: overcome this hurdle and spoiler alert, not only did she
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: relearn how to walk, but she also has done so
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: much more. Victoria was on Dancing with the Stars. She
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: also recently ran a five k and of note, she
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: has no sensation in her legs.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: She talks about how it feels to be her, how
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: it has felt to be her, what she is doing
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: with the platform that she has built, helping others along
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: the way to find their voice, a huge reason why
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: she co founded the Victoria's Victory Foundation with her mother.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: I'll link to that one in the show notes. I'm
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: telling you this episode of this conversation. It had me
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: on the edge of my seat the entire time. A
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: true inspiration that if you put your mind to it,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: if you can keep an optimistic outlook and hold onto hope,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: then they're all good things ahead for you. Make sure
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: you're following along with hurdle over on social and me
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: over at Emily a Body, especially as I'm taking off
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: for Berlin today. It is marathon time, Berlin Marathon next
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: weekend and I couldn't be more amped. I am doing
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: a meetup out there, so if you are going to
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: be in town, we'd love to see you. I'm gonna
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: put those details in the show notes. Last little bit
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: of housekeeping. Would love for you to rate and review
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: the show. If you haven't done so yet, your feedback
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: is much appreciated. Wherever you get your podcasts, especially when
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: you're giving it five stars with that, let's get to it,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: let's get it's a hurdling. Today, I am sitting down
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: with Victoria Arlin. She is a host for ESPN. She's
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: also a speaker and cannot forget a Paralympic old medalist.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: How are we doing today?
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I'm great? How are you?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I'm so good? What a resume like? This is not
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: a combo you hear every day, No, it is not.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I'm very fortunate. It's been a very crazy journey, that's
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: for sure. When I would have never written for myself.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: You don't have feeling in your legs, but you are
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: capable of walking, running, dancing.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: That's not something you hear every day.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: No, I've yet to really fully come across anyone that
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: has full numbness in their legs and neurophy and all
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: that stuff. Yeah, the only thing I've yet to figure
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: out how to do is hurdles. But I also know
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: like a lot of people can't do hurdles. So I
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: don't think it's the numbness that is that my friend's likecreatory,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: it's not that numbness that's preventing you from doing hurdles.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's just the fact that you're not very
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: coordinated to do hurdles. So yeah, so I've I've managed
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: to find a way. I've actually gone more of my
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: life not feeling my legs than feeling my legs, So
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: it's actually more normal for me to not feel my
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: legs than to feel them.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Let's give some some context here so people can really
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: understand where this started.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Starting at age eleven.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, So at age eleven, I developed two incredibly rare
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: neurological conditions called transverse my lightis and to keep disseminated
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: and stephal my lightis, And basically they're autoimmune based, but
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: they attack your central nervous system. So one condition attacks
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: your brain, one condition attacks your spine, and it's basically
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I head on collision and you don't normally get both,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and it's very rare actually to get both. But we
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: kind of call it a blessing in disguise because mine
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: was left untreated and doctors couldn't figure out what was
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: going on, and so had I gotten one or the other,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: because of how severe both conditions were, I could have
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: very well became brain dead or a quadriplegic. On a
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: ventilator or not made it. And so it's a you know,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: it's it's so interesting perspective is everything. And so but
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: at this point it was still bad, nonetheless, and so
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: doctors pretty much wrote me off as a lost cause
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: and told my parents, you know, she's not going to
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: make it, and if she does make it, you're looking
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: at a complete vegetable for a child. Then you should
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: put her away in a special care facility because it's
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: going to be too much work. You know, the Victoria
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: you once knew is not coming back. And you know,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: the famous line that I always have said has been
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: a fuel for a lot of the things I do,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and is she'll never become a functioning member of society.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And I have always I heard that. I remember hearing
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: that by multiple, multiple doctors, and I even remember and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I come from a family that just doesn't give up,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: and my family just refused to give up on me,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: and I remember this one on for almost four years
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: that we just kept kept defying the odds, essentially, and
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I kept surviving. My parents, you know, outfitted their living
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: room into a hospital room and just took care of
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: me because they were like, look, whatever time we have
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: left with her. We're going to love her and take
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: care of her. And they didn't realize I was aware
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: the whole time. So I'm taking all this in. But
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: in the meantime, you know, when I when I was
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: in the hospital, these doctors, not my parents, were crazy
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: for having hope, and which is so sad, And whenever
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I speak, I'm like, the fact that my parents were
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: looked down upon for having hope just blows my mind.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And I remember so vividly my parents had gone to
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: go get lunch and I was in the ICU and
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: it was one of the many hospital stays, and these
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: doctors were standing over my hospital bed and they're like,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: can you believe this situation? Like this is bad? And
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: they're like, I know, I know, and you believe What
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: about the parents? Huh? Like this kid's a goner, Like
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: this kid is a legit goner, and these parents are legit.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: These parents think that this kid's gonna make it, Like
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: this kid's a goner. And I remember just lying there
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: being like, are you kidding me? And so four years later,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I emerged out of this through the form of linking,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: and that is how I came to and let my
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: family know that I was in there, and then started
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: in twenty ten this long path back to life and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: learned how to talk and learned how to function all
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: over again and face the world in a wheelchair. But
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: at this point I was fine with that. I was like,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: all right, I'm I'm just going to get going with
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: my life and got back to school, got back to sports,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: and sports took me to some crazy places. And those
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: crazy places happened to be the London twenty twelve games.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And then from there it happened I ended up, you know,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: at ESPN. And then in the middle of all that, I, yes,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I had this great life and everything, but I had
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: still there was one stone that hadn't been turned over yet,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: which was the one on I hadn't defied yet. So, yes,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I had become this goold medalist. Yes I had this
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: great job at ESPN, but I still had one obstacle
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I hadn't you know, tackled, which was which was walking.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: And so that led my mom and I to just
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: discovering activity based therapy, being like, let's just go for it,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: you know, let's just try to see what's out there,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: even to just get stronger. And so we ended on
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: the West we ended up on the West coast trying
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: out these gyms and facilities, and my mom had this epiphany.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And if you know Mama Arlen, she is one that's
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: just like she's a fierce woman of God and she
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: just goes for when she's got that and she's got
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that fire. She called my dad and she was like,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: do you remember when that doctor told us not to
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: mortgage the house, chasing down that crazy dream that Victoria
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: would never walk again? And my dad was like yeah,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: And she was like, well, I have this crazy idea
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: that we should open up this facility, this healing facility,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: for not just Victoria, but for other families like ours
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: who were essentially left on our own to figure it
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: out other loss causes. And she was like, I figured
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: it out, and we can do it if we mortgage
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: the house. And then she followed it up and he's
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: like what and and she's like, yeah, we can do
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: it if we mortgage the house. And my dad's like
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: trying to take it all in. And while he's taking
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: all in, and she goes and if you say no,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I'll just divorce you and take half. My parents are
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: are I've been married? Their goals? I mean they've been
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: married for thirty plus years, like they're amazing. But I
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was like, hold on, hold on, hold on, and She's like,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, this is what we need to do
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: for our daughter, but also for this part of the country,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: for the East Coast, for other families like ours, Larry,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: we need to turn our mess into a message and
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: our pain into a purpose. And and so we opened
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: up Project Walk Boston, and that's where I learned to
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: walk eventually, And that was a space that to this
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: day now is it is become one of the most
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: one of a world renowned neuro recovery center where people
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: from all walks of life, all types of debilitating conditions
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: are getting better. And so almost ten years of the
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: day of becoming paralyzed, I took my first steps and
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I never really looked back after that. I ended up
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: on a on a dancing show. A year later, I
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: went for my first year a dancing show and which
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: my traumatized my parents when I made that phone call
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: and then and then in the middle like it was
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: so cool. It was my first year at ESPN, I
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: was I was in a wheelchair, and then by the
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: second year, I was like on crutches. The third year,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I was like kind of trying, you know. So it's
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: been really, it's been just really this this crazy journey,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: and you know, I'm really fortunate. I know, not a
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: lot of people get a second chance like me, and
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: so I'm just really trying to make the most of it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: And it's been a journey. I mean, it's not been
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: easy by any means, but and a lots have thrown
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: my way. But that's kind of in a nutshell, what
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: started back in two thousand.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: And six, Just in a nutshell.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Nine minutes twenty three, nine minutes twenty second the end
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: of the podcast, we can actually just stop. You've heard
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: the entire story in summary. Let's start with the beginning.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: You quickly lost your ability to eat, speak, walk, and move,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: so you became a vegetable essentially. How much do you
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: remember about falling into this state?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: All of it? I remember all of it. Yeah, I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: remember just all the switches being shut off.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: And I'm grateful that I was own that I was
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: young at the time, because I don't think I realized
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: A that this was as severe as it was.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: And B that it could have been terminal. You know,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: like I think for me it. I just kept thinking, Oh,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: it's going to get better tomorrow. It's going to get
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: better tomorrow. And so I couldn't grasp how serious it was,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: but I remember it all wow.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: And so in remembering all of that, going into this
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: vegetative state, how long from slipping into this place was
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: it until you started to be a little bit more
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: aware of your surroundings. I know you said that four
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: years in you started to communicate through blinking, But how
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: long into that process did you start to have an
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: understanding that you were really in there?
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Still?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Pretty early on, I think the first like year gets
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: it's pretty foggy, but I think pretty early on I
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: realized that nobody knew I was in there, and I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: was locked in, like pretty early on, like I knew
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I was shutting down, but I was fighting to still
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: be heard and seen. And then it goes a bit dark,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Like I remember getting this really bad headache and having
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: these weird seizures and then and then there's kind of
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: an ambulance and some mother chaos and then it kind
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: of goes dark and then and then I just kind
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: of emerged, And so it's about it was, there's there's
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: a foggy, a foggy year or so that I'm in
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and out and then and then i'm and then it's
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: clear as day.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: So think about how it must have felt for both
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: you being in there and being like none of you
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: know what I am seeing, hearing I'm in here, I'm
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: in here. And then also for your parents, I mean, God,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: bless your family. That must have been something else else
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: to sit by and just hold on to this beautiful
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: level of hope. We so often hear that phraeze. You know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: in order to see her, you need to be her.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: You really lived by that through the hope of your parents.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, oh, one hundred percent. And I think my mom
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: was the captain of that, like she you know, I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: have a nonprofit and we always say and our board meetings,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: be a captain of hope. And my mom started that
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: trend in my family is she was just the captain
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: of hope and the Ireland family. And so everyone went
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: off of her lead and everyone saw her starting her
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: day with gratitude. Everyone saw her, you know, her just
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: being full of light and full of love and her
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: trusting in God and praying and believing, and she's like,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't have a choice. She's like, because the alternative
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: if I folded, and if I if I acted on
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: what I was feeling, which was scared, sad, anxious, all
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: of that. She said, I probably I couldn't show up
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: for you, And what good was that going to do
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: for you, for your brothers, for your dad, for anyone.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: And so she's like, yes, feel what you need to feel.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: She's like, keep showing up. And she's like, so I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: kept showing up. And so she was kind of someone
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: that really championed that hope. And then I just kept
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: following her lead and she didn't even know it, and
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: her and a lot it was interesting because we did
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of the similar things, me and my vegetative state,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: her being around me that we didn't even realize till
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: later on. I was focusing on gratitude, she was focusing
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: on gratitude. I was praying a ton, she was praying
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: a ton, and so we both and I was eleven
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: when I got six, so we weren't having conversations about gratitude.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: And yes, we had faith, but we didn't have the
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: faith that we had now, and so it was really cool.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so close to my mom and it
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: was really cool once when we started having these conversations
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: that that we really aligned in that. But I always
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: say to her, I'm like, you really were the captain
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: and everyone just was on the ship and just following
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: your lead. And She's like, I had to be because
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: all the doctors wrote it off and they were ready
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: to just put you away and and kind of just
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: like deal with it. And so yeah, it's really you
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: really have to You really are who you surround yourself with,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: and so if you're with calm people, you're going to
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: become if you're with angry people, you're probably going to
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: be angry. And so it's really with her, she was
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: just full of hope and love and a lot of
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: faith and all that. That's a that's a combo for healing.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: To be present for you yourself with others around you not
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: knowing that.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Talk to me about that experience.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: What did you experience being a quiet observer of your circumstance.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's very interesting when you're when you're just kind
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: of around but you're not involved. And so for me,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: at first it was it was horrific. I mean, I
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: had so much I wanted to say, But then I
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: got to a space where I really got. I got,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I got, I got kind of nosy with with what
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: I really wanted to do. And if I did come
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: out of this, you know I I I was aware
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I had to write a bucket obituary. I was aware
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I had to write an obituary, But then I realized,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: what about a bucket lit? Like? What about what am
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I going to do? Okay, if this is so impossible,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: like if I have if I don't have tomorrow, like
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: if if I die, if I was if I'm going
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: to die today, why am I going to die reading
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: my obituary? Why don't I die dreaming about what I
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: could potentially be? And so for me, I decided to shift.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: So I would observe obviously and pay attention around me
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: and had some questionable names for certain doctors and kept
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: myself entertained. But then I really got to know myself
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: and I realized, I'm going to whatever time I have
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: left here, I'm really going to focus on the good
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to look for the good. And so
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start with focusing on things I have
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: to be grateful for. And it's interesting, I've been giving
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: talks since I was seventeen years old, and so it's
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: been you know, eleven years now, and whenever I've said
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: that in speeches, people have given me some interesting looks
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: of like, hold up, you were talking. You were thinking about,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: like what you were grateful for in the midst of
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: all this, and I was like, yeah, And I was like,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: first and foremost, I was grateful for the fact that
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I could have these thoughts of being grateful. And then
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I was grateful that I wasn't dead yet. And that's
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: scraping the bottom of the barrel that I wasn't dead yet,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: but it was something because according to every expert, I
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: should be dead and I should not have made it
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: to the next day. And then that list continued to
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: grow and grow and grow. And so as I'm lying there,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I'm filling my mind my body with these moments of gratitude,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and then I'm thinking of this bucket list of like
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: all right, if I get through this, I'm just going
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: to go for it, Like all right, that dream when
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: you were five years old, you want to be a
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: gold medalist, Why don't we go for that? Do you
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: want to be on TV like that? Why don't we
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: go for that? You know you want to go and
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: help people. Why don't we go for that? You know
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: you want to, you know, go and have a dance
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: party with your family one day. Why don't we go
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: for that. You're a big fan of dancing with the stars,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: why don't you go for that one day? Like, I
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: just started getting excited because I was like, even if
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I don't make it till tomorrow, at least today I'm
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: going to be happy. And at least today, if I
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: don't make it, I'm going to have the excitement about
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: what tomorrow could possibly be. That's really what I think
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: we all should do. There was a Bible scripture that
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: those who hope and the Lord will renew their strength
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: and they'll soar on wings like eagles, and I kind
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: of was living that scripture and I didn't even know it,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: where I just like had these wings essentially where I
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: was just hopeful that tomorrow was just going to be
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: a bit better. And then as I had that gratitude,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: this magnetic shift happened where all of a sudden I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: started to just see hope everywhere. I didn't see hopelessness anymore.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I started to just see hope. And then the next
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: day I was like oh no, here I am again,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: and this vegetata say, I was like, nailed it. I'm
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: still here. And then all of a sudden, I was
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: just like excited about Okay, maybe today's the day. Maybe
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: today I get my miracle. Maybe tomorrow's the day, you know,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: And that eventually led to breakthroughs for me and I
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: think for all of us, like we all have challenges
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: and obstacles, but can look for those tiny, little beautiful things,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: then you're going to see more and more of those things,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: and then you're going to see the bigger things, the
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: bigger things, the bigger things. But that was really what
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I started to do, is become an observer of like
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: looking for looking for those sparkles, if you will.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I love that word magnetic, The concept or
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: thought that energy attracts like energy. To have the ability
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: to be so hopeful and take on that perspective at
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: such a young age, something that so many individuals truly
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: struggle with throughout the duration of their years is beyond
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: I think it's truly beautiful and it really worked for
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: you as we're sitting here today now knowing that there
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: were so many let's call them hopeful shiny moments. I'm
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: sure that there were also some truly difficult moments. Again,
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: this idea that you're sitting there and people don't know
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: that you're there, really, yeah, talk to me a little
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: bit about that.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I think the combo was there was more of
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: those moments once I was out of my vegetative state.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: But when I was in my vegetative state, I had
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: to survive, so I didn't have a lot of time
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: to have those dark moments because I was just trying
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: to survive. So I couldn't afford to have those dark
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: moments because if I did, that would end badly, and
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I knew it would end badly. But I remember one
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: particular moment I was laying there. I remember my nose
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: really itched, and I'm lying there and there's there was
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: about ten people in my room and everyone's talking around me,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: and I wanted someone to just say something to me,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: and I want and then my nose started to itch,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: and I remember just feeling really isolated, and no one
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: was meant meaning to make me feel isolated, but I'm
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: laying there, and you know, when you have an itch
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: and you can't scratch it, it gets itchier. And itchy
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: and itch here, and I remember laying there and I
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: was like, can somebody scratch my nose? Like I was like,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: there's so many people in this room, and I'm screaming
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and screaming in my mind that that no one someone
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: just scratched my nose. Please someone scratch my nose. And
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking in my mind that if someone one day,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: if I could just scratch my nose, what an amazing
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: day that will be. And I have made thousands of
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: people one day. I was speaking at one a couple
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: of years ago, right before COVID there was I was
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: speaking and there was ten thousand people in the crowd,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: and I made ten thousand people scratch their nose because
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, look what I can do, and look
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: what you can all do. And I was like, if
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: you're ever spinning out, scratch your nose. Reset, scratch your nose.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: And I have to do that often because life gets
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: busy and chaotic, and so I think there was little
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: moments that little frustrations like that, Or there was a
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: moment where a doctor walked in and this was when
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: things were really bad and I was on a ventilator
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: and they were really dooming gloom, and I wasn't on
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: a ventilator. I think there was a handful of times
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I was on a ventilator, but not a lot. For
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: the most part, I could breathe on my own, and
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: so my family we were doing shifts, so no one
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: was alone with me, and there was a lapse. There's
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: about a fifteen minute lapse where it was just my
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: mom and I and this doctor. I'll never forget. I
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: could tell you exactly what he was wearing, his exact
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: mannerisms and everything he walks in and he just very
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: matter of factly says to my mom, you need to
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: accept the fact your child is going to die. She
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: probably won't make it past this week, and you need
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: to just get over it and accept it, and walked
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: out the room. My mom just stood there, stunned, and
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: it had been two and a half years, and she
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: just stood there, and I saw her fall to her
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: knees and start sobbing, and she didn't cry a lot
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: in front of me on purpose, and she cried to
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: cry that no mom should ever cry. And I remember
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: lying there being so angry at this doctor for his
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: lack of empathy, his lack of not even staying with her,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: not even waiting for a nurse to be in the
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: room or a social worker or a family member. He
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: just came in so cold and just said that to
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: my mom. And I remember laying there and I wanted
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: to scream so badly, and I wanted to just like
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: grab her and say, hey, I'm right here. I'm right here, mom,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: like I wanted to. I wanted to just like grab
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: her and just say I'm not leaving you because I
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: have three brothers and it's just my mom and I,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: like we're well, now I have sister in laws, but
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: it's like her and I were a team and we
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: always have been. And I remember that moment and being
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: like I'm not going anywhere, but like those moments where
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: you just wanted to be like, hey, like I'm right here.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: But those were really low moments of realizing the house
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: how bad it was, but also how completely helpless I was,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to just let them know, Hey, if
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I could just have this five excuse me, guys, have
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: five seconds, Cause have five seconds to say something, you know,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: just like five seconds to just like pop in say
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: something and then go back, you know. Like it was
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: like those moments where I just wanted to, you know,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: say that. But I think a lot of the more
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: darker days or harder days came later on because I
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: think when I was in that vegetative state, I didn't
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: have a choice. I had to just survive and get through.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: to my sponsors that feel extra relevant to me because
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I cannot imagine heading off to run marathon number twelve
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: without these two brands in my pocket. First and foremost,
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Gooder Gooder makes my go to athletic sunglasses that are
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: no bounced, They're polarized, and they are crazy affordable, especially
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: when you stack them up.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: To other active styles.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: I have worn the Operation Blackout style Gooder for probably
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know my last four marathons, and I can't
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: imagine race day without them. Not only are they sleep
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  Speaker 3: with a course, but they're also perfect for travel period
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: because they're cute, which means that I can wear them
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  Speaker 3: and again when I'm on the move heading toward that
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• 28:51
  Speaker 3: Some of my other favorites, the nine Dollars Pour Over
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  Speaker 3: and Just yesterday I bought one called I Do my
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  Speaker 3: Own Stunts. I feel like a little badass. They're a
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: single lens style and I think they may be my
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• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Today.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Also would be nowhere without my trusted Element. Gotta give
• 29:24
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• 29:29
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• 29:34
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• 29:38
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• 29:44
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• 29:47
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• 29:51
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• 29:55
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• 30:02
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• 30:33
  Speaker 3: when you survive and get through and you start to
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: come back into the swing of things, talk to us
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: about what happens when you are present, when you are
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: realizing not only am I going to make it out
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: of this, but I'm going to make it out of
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: this and my life is going to be dramatically different
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: than it used to be. I mean, integrating even back
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: into society after spending four years like that. There's a
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: big difference between you know, being eleven years old and
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: being a teenager.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, I mean the crazy thing is that, you know,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: for four years when someone's like, when people are like, oh,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: you're going to die, You're going to die, You're going
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: to die, and then you're survive, You're like, I kind
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: of was preparing to not make it sort of, and
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: then here I am. So it was very intimidating surviving.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: It was very intimidating coming back into the world because
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: you don't you don't come out of a four year
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: vegetative state looking like swan. You really don't. And I
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: had been given banks in the middle of all this,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: so that was pretty traumatizing. That's a whole other that's
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: a whole other episode there.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: But did they think they were doing you a solid
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: by giving you bangs?
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: My mom did, Yes, she I just want to make
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: sure that we're on the same page about that. It
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: wouldn't that be difficult because like you have to upkeep bangs.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, So my hair doesn't grow. So they gave me
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: like a short little bob with some bangs to keep
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: the hair out of my face. That was the concept,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: except my hair doesn't grow. So these banks are still
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: haunting me to this day, like they're still around, like
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: they're still present on this this dome. Okay, so they
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: So I come out of this and I just I
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: feel like a stranger to a world that had gone on.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: And I'm a triplet, so had I have two brothers
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: that are now going into their sophomore year of high school.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I hadn't been in school since the fifth grade. It
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: was very daunting on so many levels. I think for me,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: the world had gone on, but the weird thing about
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: it is I grew up so much going through what
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: I went through. Adversity. Adversity ages you. It ages you
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: in a way where you have to become a grown
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: up overnight and you're not. You know, when you're facing
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: death in the eyes, you're not a kid anymore. And
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: so for me, I wasn't a fifteen year old. I
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: had seen and experienced things that no adult, no kid,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: no teenagers should ever experience or see. And those who
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: you know have seen the documentary or read the book
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: know the more intricate, you know, crazy details of what
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: all the things that went down, and we like, we said,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: there's a lot to cover. We don't have time for that.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: But so it was weird, like I was socially hadn't
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: been in the world in four years, but also like
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: on a on a whole other level, was way older.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: So going back to high school, you know who who
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Jane is going to prom with, and freaking out over
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: the homecoming dress and having a mental meltdown over the
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: fact that it's blue and not purple was blew my
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: mind over. And then I'm like, who cares, you know,
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: And so it was just a very weird. It was
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: just a very weird in between. I found myself in
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: and then and then you throw in the mix now
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: in a wheelchair, and so I'm finding this new way
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: of navigating the world where half my body doesn't work,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: but strengthening the other half of my body to adapt
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: to this new body, and learning how to find my
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: voice again in more ways than not, you know, on
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: shaky ground, because it's been four years, and for four
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: years I was fighting, just trying not to die, you know,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: and so it was really weird. I think I even
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: just talking about it, you know, I feel I you know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I get this like tightness of my chest because I was, like,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: it was a lot, but I had a support system
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: and family who just empowered me and my brothers, and
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: no one skipped a beat. No one treated me like
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: I was this weak little wallflower. Everyone was like, all right, tours,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: come on, like let's go, let's get going. And so
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: I was really grateful that everyone and sports helped me.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Sports was very much my savior and my safe space.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: So I think having all of that and having the
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: family that I have and the friends that I have
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: really just set me up for success. To just let
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: you survived. So now it's time to start living.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you mentioned your autobiography, it's called Locked In. I'm
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: going to make sure to link that in the show notes.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: And also the thirty for thirty appropriately also called In.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: We'll link that in the show notes as well. So
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: so both of them just like absolutely unbelievable. You mentioned
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: earlier when you were talking about the bucket listing that
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: you were doing when you were laying in that hospital bed,
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: the five year old dream to oh to the Olympics
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: to be an athlete. Talked to me about what it
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: was like integrating back into sport because it looked a
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: lot different than it did when you were five.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Very much. So, yeah, I got back into actually sled hockey.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: That was my first sport. I started playing hockey when
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I was three with my brothers. And then it was
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: actually in the middle of all this that I also
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: was a swimmer, and my brothers threw me back in
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: the water and literally grabbed my arms, grab my legs,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: strapped in a life jacket because I was too afraid
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: to jump back in the water even though that was
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: my sport, and threw me in summer of twenty ten,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: and so in the middle of all that I took
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: my trust that I could get back to the things
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: that I loved before I got sick. And so with that,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I just started swimming again and I started playing sports,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: and that really helped me find a safe space because
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: school wasn't that place for me. School I was just
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: trying to catch up my brothers and graduate on time,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and I rolled through the hallways, dealt with the bullying,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: got my school work done, and went and played sports
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: and so but sports for me was an outlet because
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I didn't need my wheelchair. I didn't need to be
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: reminded of what I couldn't do or what I had
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: been through. And at this point I had to be
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: on a feeding too pump because we didn't know if
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: my stomach was ever going to repair itself or anything.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: So I was still very compromised in other ways that
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: no one knew about. But sports I kind of could
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: forget all of that for two hours or two three hours.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: And so it was actually my hockey coach that was like, hey,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: you should really take the swimming thing seriously to you're
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: pretty good, and I'm like, no, no, no, I'm just doing
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: this to get out of my wheelchair for a couple
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: hours and to unhook myself from this pump and he
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: was like, no, wait, you're really fast, like you're picking,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: you're swimming really good times. In my high school at
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: the time wouldn't let me swim on the team even
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: though I was really fast. And I was like, yeah,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: well my high school, help me swim and I can't
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: really find like a situation. And he's like, well, let
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: me help you out with that. And I had qualified
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: in some local meets in for trials and for London
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: for the London Games. And at this point it's twenty
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: eleven and not a lot of coaches want to help
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you do the impossible. And so I had gone to
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: a local swim meet and a local you know, Paralympic
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: swim meet, and they were like, oh, what are your
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: plans And I was like, oh, to make the London
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: twenty twelve Games. And he was like, ah, that's funny, No, seriously,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: what are your plans? And I was like, I'm trying
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: to make London. I qualified for trials at this speed,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm trying to find a coach in a situation.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, you're serious, and I was
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: like yeah, I was, And he laughed at me and
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: said I shouldn't even try that, I should make a
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: fool out of myself. And he's like, sweetie, why don't
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: you wait for four more years?
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Oh don't sweetie me?
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, I was like, sir, and he I was
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: really defeated after that because he laughed at me, and
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: then he was like, don't even like, don't make a
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: fool out of yourself, sweetie.
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: Like, you know, it's already frustrating that women drop out
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: of sport at such a dramatic rate compared to men.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: That you're going to be a male coach that's supposed
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: to be a mentor to female young females and look
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: at her and dissuade her in this way, it just,
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: oh my goodness, I can't even It's totally understandable that
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: you felt frustrated and angry and then, as it is
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: extremely clear, used that frustration and turned that into your power.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and my mom My mom brought the brought
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: her point to finger out when I got to the car,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: and she was like, don't you ever let someone tell
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: you you can't do something. If you believe you can
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: do it, you can do it. Can do you believe
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: you can do this. Do you believe you can make
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: the team? And I was like, yeah, yeah I do.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: And she's like, and do you want to go for it?
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like yeah, and she's like I know
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: you're going to work hard and I was like yeah.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: She goes let's go for it, and I was like okay,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: and then she We found a coach that literally was
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: like he's like, I'm not going to coach you unless
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: our goal is to not only make the team, but
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: just go for a gold medal. And at this point
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I was like seventy fifth in the world, like not
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: even on the radar, and I was like okay, like sure,
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: and he was like he had It was like ignorance
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: is bliss because he just saw me as an athlete.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: He didn't see me in any way, shape or form
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: as any other. It was all D one athletes he
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: trained and Olympic athletes. So he just threw me in
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: the pool with everyone else. But he saw he was like,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I need you to trust me to train you to
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: go for something bigger than just making the team, because
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: so much we want to take the safe route. And
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: so not only did I make the team, but I
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: did in fact, achieved my little five year old dream.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: And that was what was crazy is I ran into
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: that other coach a year later at a hockey tournament
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: and he was like, oh, congratulations, Victoria. We knew you
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: could do and all this stuff. And I was with
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: my dad. My dad, God bless that man. He literally
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: was like, roll away, roll away, and he just pushed
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: my chair. He pushed me away and was like he
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, she has to go get ready for
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: the game. She can't talk right now. The guy's like, oh,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: we'll talk after, we'll talk after there's some local news.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: You want to talk to her. And my dad's like, oh, no, no,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: we can't. We're very busy. We were very busy. She
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: can't talk to you right now.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: I'm surprised your dad like had grace in that moment.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: Because I was your dad, I would have been like, sir,
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: we did we thought that. Remember when you told this young,
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: impressionable human that they should not chase their dreams.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I think at the time he was like he realized
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: he had nothing nice or appropriate to say, and he
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: was kind of like, I realized there would have been
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of no no words coming out.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Of my mouth.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: He's a Boston he's a Boston hockey coach. That would
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: just have he would have gone, And I think he
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: would have been like, what's It's not worth it, He's
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: not worth it.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: You mentioned dealing with a fair amount of bullying in
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: high school. Can you talk to me about what you
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: remember about that and how it made you feel in
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: the day to day.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was the new kid. We had moved when
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: when I got sick, and so I was the new
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: kid in a wheelchair, and so high school kids are
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: not known for other empathy and uh, and then they
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: found out, you know, a little bit more about my story,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: and it was just I just was a rolling target.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: And so I really the pointing the comments, the you're
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: two pretty to be in a wheelchair, you know, and
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: and I mean I think I blocked a lot of
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: the meaner things that were said. But basically, every time
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I rolled down the hallway, it was just like a
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: it was just like a rolling onslaught of things. But
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: for me, I just remember feeling incredibly isolated and incredibly
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: alone in that sense where there was no one else
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: like me. And we don't live in a world or
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: in an area where you see a lot of people
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: in wheelchairs, or you see a lot of young people
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: dressing up nice and being sporty and fun in wheelchairs,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: and so it wasn't necessarily an area where kids were
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: super gracious or had an understanding of empathy or necessarily diversity,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: to be honest with you, But thankfully, I have a
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: really incredible group of friends and really wonderful brothers, So
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I had a tribe of people, and day to day,
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just I got creative. I managed to
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: leave five minutes early, so I avoided crowded hallways eventually,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: and some might say I took I would, I would
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: kind of avoid the situation, but I really had to
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: for my sanity, and I had to for my protection
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: because I really couldn't at times deal with I had
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: to protect myself and I'm like, I'm not going in
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: the cafeteria because there's chairs, there's the attached chairs to
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: all the seats, and I'm not going to roll up
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: to the cafeteria. Especially when the first year I went
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: to high school, I had a feeding tube, so I
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: didn't even need to go to the cafeteria. And I
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: found teachers and folks that became safe spaces for me,
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm going to go to class
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to do my school work, and I
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: have sports, and I found safe havens, and I also
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: have a family that just got it, and so I
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: knew I had a safe space. When I got home,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I know I had friends that were looking out for me.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: And I realized hurt people hurt others, and my mom
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: taught me that, and my grandma as well, and so
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I knew I that these kids they just didn't understand
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: and if they were gonna be going and making me
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: feel so terrible, that's on them, not me, yep. And
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: so day to day it was. It was terrible at first,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: but then after that, I'm like, I just I just
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: cheated death a couple of times, and I just have
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: been through all this stuff, and I'm going, I'm trying
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: to make the US team and all these things like
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: what are you doing? And so I really as far
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: as the day to day goes, initially it was terrible,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: and then I just had to keep shifting my perspective.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: And I think when you shift your perspective, it changes everything.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: And then you, just like I did in the vegetative state,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: started to find hope and I was like, all right,
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: what's the hope here. Well, I'm not dealing with any drama,
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: that's for sure, because I'm no. I'm really I have
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: a small I have a tiny but mighty crew. And
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: then I have my sports in my school, and and
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: and I just you have your people, and it's really
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: not the quantity of all the people around you, but
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: the quality of people. And that rings true. And then
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: realistically it allowed me to really focus on the things
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: I wanted to focus on. And also too, I'm like,
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: shame on you. If you're really gonna make someone in
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: a wheelchair feel the way that I'm feeling, or stooped
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: down to that level, that's on you. And I feel
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: bad for you, and I'm gonna probably pray for you
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: and hope that you find some happiness in your life.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: That's the way to approach it. Truly, hurt people. Hurt people.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: Just like you said, and you spoke about, you know,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: rolling into the cafeteria and the seats being connected to
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: the tables. I remember those exact tables in my cafeteria
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: when I went to high school. You also referenced, you know,
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: not seeing many people in wheelchairs from a day to day.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Talk to me about what some of the most challenging
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: points of a lack of access were for you when
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: you were at the height of this part of your disability.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, oh how much time time to have. I mean,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I think getting into buildings was the biggest one. Getting
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: into buildings. The world is not built for wheelchairs, and
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I think that was a huge inspiration for starting my foundation,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: was just making the world and letting people know that
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: they're not alone, because just people having access and knowing
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: that I can get from point A to point B,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: or if I was out with my friends and we
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: wanted to go to a restaurant or a store. A
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: lot of places aren't accessible because they don't have to
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: be because they're grandfathered. So then it becomes a whole
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: ordeal of let's lift you up, let's get you in.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be a spectacle. I don't want
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: to I don't want to be a circus act. I
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: just want to casually slide into the building with my friends,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: order some food or check out some clothing. And so
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: I found that was a big one, honestly, was just
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: getting around and going to buildings or sidewalks or bathrooms.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: Just trying to navigate those spaces was a big issue
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: because the world isn't built that way and people don't
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: think that way. And even now I'm always kind of
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: looking around and I think it's gotten better, but there
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: are still spaces where people just don't think about that.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: People don't think about the power of a button to
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: open a door, or the power of a bigger, you know,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: stall for someone and not necessarily always someone in a wheelchair,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: where someone as a walker, someone just needs more space
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: if they're sensory overloaded and they need that. And so
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I think that was a big one for me, as
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: just that lack of access to just be able to
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: just be subtle about getting places. I don't want it
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: to be a spectacle. I don't want I don't like
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I remember I was in New York and I was
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: trying to get into somewhere with my friends and thinking
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: about like, oh, we'll let you in, We'll get you in,
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: and I was like, no, almost at thank you. I
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: don't want it. I'm really not trying to have all
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: these people just pick up my chair and get me in.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: I'm really just trying to come in and come out
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: like everyone else. Yeah, or just getting out of a car,
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: you know, And so I think those were the big
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: It was an eye open experience. Was one day I
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: was trying to get out of my car and I
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: used to climb out of the back of my car,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: put my chair together, and roll into the store. And
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: the amount of time it took for me to crawl
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: to the back of my car, pulled my chair together
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: and get out, someone had pulled in, walked out of
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: their car, gotten to the store, came back and left
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: while I was still doing it all. And I was like, dang,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: that that's gonna be That guy was so nice.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Such a moment to frame your perspective again there.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: And I know, as we fast forward here and talk
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: about what happens when you finally get the capability to
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: walk again, talk to me about not you know, that
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: first step, but what happens when you actually start to
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: string the steps together.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: M It was challenging. I fell a lot. I fell
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: a lot. I think I was really nervous, to be
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: honest with view, because half of my life I was
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: in a wheelchair, and half of my life I was
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: you know, the same height and the you know, got
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: around the same way and so when I started walking
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: literally and figuratively, it was like like a whole new
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: world for me. And my body was still It took
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: a long time for my body to adapt. I would
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: pass out, I would fall. My body was just like,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: we don't know what we're doing here. And I couldn't
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: feel my legs. So it is this weirdest thing when
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: you can't fill the ground beneath your feet, and so
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: how do you feel grounded? Well, you have to find
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: other ways to feel grounded. So it was very interesting,
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: and I remember for a very long time, I really
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: struggled with wanting to be out in public without any support,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: without my crutches, without leg braces, and that took a
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: good year before I had nothing. But I think the
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: biggest public leap, if you will, of me stepping out
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: without anything was when I did Dancing with the Stars,
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: And I remember and leading up to that, you know,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I would have braces on, or i'd have my feet
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: taped certain ways, or i'd have a oh, crutches or
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: random things, but I really hadn't. I was very subtle
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: about that because I was very nervous. I didn't want
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: to fall, I didn't want to trip, and I still
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: sometimes do, but it's I think for me it was
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: just it was not I wasn't expecting to walk, ever,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: walk again, and so it was a very I was like, well,
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: this is happening, This is happening. And so when I
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: was asked to do Dancing with the Stars, that was
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: kind of a moment to be like, this is my
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: time to step out and be like I'm going to
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: challenge myself and I'm also going to say here I am.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, and such a proclamation that was.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: I'm curious about the initial reach out from the Dancing
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: with the Stars team because if you were in this
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: place where yes, you had learned how to walk again,
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: in what an amazing story that is. But as we
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: all know, walking is very different than dancing. So was
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: it a question of whether or not you thought that
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: you'd be able to do something like this or were
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: they like, no, we really think that you can.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: So it was really cool. The thing I love about
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: everyone involved with dancing is it's a very it's a
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: very much like we believe in you type of show,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: and so they were kind of like, look, we'll work
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: with you, and we'll pair you with someone who we
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: believe will work with you. So I had met with them.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: There was interest early in the year, but like my
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: schedule and the scheduling and everything. So after that, I
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: met with them over the summer and we had had
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: some conversations and so I actually got to sit with
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: everyone and at least in the production side of things
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: and have conversations and talk to them about the process
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: and everything. So I felt very comfortable with them early
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: on and then but I didn't know what the when
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: and where that was gonna kind of go. So I
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: think initially I was I hadn't made it clear because
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: they were like, would you be willing to do this?
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Because we think you'd be a great fit. We have
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: all types of people that have done the show, We
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: worked with people, we trained with people, so I I
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: knew I could do it, and I think after meeting
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: with them, I felt like I could trust. I trusted
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: them that they would take care, they would take care
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: of me. So then when it was official that they
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: were like, we think this is good. I didn't think
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: it was gonna happen that soon. I was. I thought
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: I was gonna have a little more time, and then
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: it was like nope, Like literally, I think three days later,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I got the call that I was going to be
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: that fall, and that was July and it was gonna
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: be I was like three days later, and so I
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: was like oh and then uh, and my agents like
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: you ready for this? I was like, well, I'm gonna
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: have to be and so uh. And then they ended
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: up pairing me a val and vow was so wonderful
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: and he knew how to train me and so and
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: I worked with my train at Project Walk and so
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: I had a path for sure. But they were wonderful.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: They were very aware and very conscientious of what I
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: could and couldn't do, and didn't necessary didn't put me
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: in a position to fail, which I was very grateful for.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: So special and to reiterate here, you took your first
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: step in spring of twenty sixteen, and then we're on
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars in the fall of twenty seventeen,
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: which is absolutely remarkable. Able bodied humans that could walk normally,
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: they would be frightened to have to prepare the dancing
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: and the stars with that amount of time. You mentioned
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: at this point having an agent, so you started working
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: at ESPN while you were still in your wheelchair, and
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: then that progressed as it did, and you got quote
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: unquote more airtime, We're doing more interviews, something else that
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: had been on that bucket list from when you were
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: a young woman.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: Talk to me about what it feels.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Now having that dream realized, sitting in that chair behind
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: that desk so often and doing the reporting that you do.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's incredible. I really, I'm really so fortunate, and
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: I really I don't take it for granted ever. And
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: it's cool because I you know, when when I lost
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: my voice, and you know, I never thought i'd get
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: it back. I dreamt i'd get it back. But I
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: remember being like, I remember making this promise, you know,
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: to God when I when I got really sick, and
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, look, if you give me my voice back,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use it. I'm going to make a difference.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have it make a difference when I
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: have it be heard. And so when I got this
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: incredible opportunity with ESPN, I wanted it to be heard
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: and used in a meaningful way. And so to be
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: able to tell really cool stories, to be able to
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: be behind the desk is really a blessing because it
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: means something, and it's really cool because I grew up
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: watching ESPN, and it's been crazy. I don't even know,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, this whole journey is just has
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: just blown my mind. And so I'm really I'm really fortunate.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I'd love to go back to a little Victoria like
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay. I promise, like you're gonna be fine.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: It's funny because I remember when I was doing speech therapy.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: I'll get so frustrated because learning how to talk is
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: really hard. Connecting words is really hard. Letters are really hard.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: H's are really hard. Ours are really hard. I remember
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: not knowing why. I remember being so frustrated with speech therapy.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: And so this was twenty ten that I was doing intense,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: intense speech therapy. And I'm like, if someone were to
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: tell me in twenty ten that this speech therapy that
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: was teaching me perfect diction and all these different things
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: was actually setting me up for five years later when
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: I would get this opportunity of a lifetime to work
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: for ESPN. I mean, it's pretty crazy. You just have
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: you really have no idea. Really, the obstacles are just
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: opportunities that setting you up for something greater. So that's
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: what's really cool. Is it all it all comes together,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: which is and everything really does work out, and that's
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: what's really that's what's really cool. It's just it's this
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: whole journey is just.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: Wild, wild, absolutely wild, and your perspective is truly contagious.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: This this through line of hope and positivity. It's hard
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: not to sit here and be grateful for everything that
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: I have, and I'm sure as well the listeners just
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: being like, wow, okay, one thing at a time, one
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: nose scratch at the time at a time, like I've
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: got this right and now using your platform to do
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: so much good. You made this reference of wanting to
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: when you were in the wheelchair, like just roll in
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: and just live a normal life. Are there times that
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: the journey for you is also exhausting? Not to say
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: that you're not grateful for it, but do you have
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: times where you're just like, for a second, I just
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: kind of want to not.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think I went on a whole mental health
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: journey in the last two and a half years where
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: I did not address my mental health for a really
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: long time, and so I never wanted to share my
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: story and it was kind of shared without my permission
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: when I broke my first world record as swimming, it
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: got leaked, and all of a sudden, I'm thrown on
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: this world stage, and all of a sudden, I'm given
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: the superhero cape at the age of seventeen that I
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: never asked for. So I never had time to process
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: what had happened to me. You know, two years out,
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: I'm winning this gold medal, which I'm so grateful for,
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: but I didn't even have time to understand what it
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: happened to me, to process what had happened to me.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I'm I'm going, going, going, going, going.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: And so I remember when I was writing my book,
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: I really started to feel, which is, once you open
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: that can of worms, it's really hard to close it.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: And then and in the last couple of years, I
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: think I've really started to really realize, like it's okay
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: to not be okay. And I think for a long time,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: people look at my story and they look at all
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: the things I go through, and they say, oh, you
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: must never have a bad day, or you must oh,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm like what and or The worst is what
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: makes my mom's blood boil is when people go you're
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: so lucky and and my Mom's like, if people knew
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: the price you've paid to get to where you are,
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: they wouldn't be saying that every day I have to
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: make a conscious decision. We all have to make a
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: conscious decision to make it a great day. But that
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: doesn't come without a price for all of us. And
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: so for me, I really crashed about two and a
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: half years ago, and then had a really terrifying health
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: scare about a year and a half about a year
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: or so ago, and so all of that put me
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: on this mental health journey where I was like, I
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: need to be okay, because here I'm going out and
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: giving so much, whether it's speaking or my philanthropic work
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: or whatever it is, or being on the road or
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: working or given give and give and give and giving,
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: and even TV work. I mean, we're all giving. In
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: some retrospect, what are how are we plugging back in?
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: And the problem was is I wasn't plugging back in,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't acknowledging my PTSD. I wasn't acknowledging the
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: fact that I had really bad anxiety or the fact
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: that I had all these things that I was I
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: was just ignoring and I was just filling my life
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: with more work, more work, more work, and getting busy.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: I was just a nesthetizing my pinion with more work
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: and busyness, and then kind of just hit this breaking
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: point and then really broke broke down and broke through
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: and said, Okay, let's sit down with eleven year old
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: Victoria and have a conversation because she's been through a lot.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: And then I realized, like I said to my mom,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: was like, sometimes I don't sometimes Victoria, Arlen, I just
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: want to be tours and sometimes tours gets really tired.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: And I think when I started to acknowledge that, I
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I can take this cape off and
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: and I don't have to go and be all of
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: this all the time. And I think I started being
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: more authentic when I was speaking and being more authentic
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: with the people around me, and it really opened up
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: so many doors in so many different ways. And even
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: with some of my dear, dear friends, like they wanted
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: to be needed in that way and they wanted to
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: be like, hey, I got you, and and I think
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: I just I realized I'm like me holding on and
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: being so cooped up and everything's fine, eye like that's
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: not real, and that's not authentic, and so I think
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: the moment I started just being like, no, this is hard.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: I'm having a tough day. And I think honestly, when
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: I had that hell scare about a year and a
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: half ago, I just sat there. I remember just dropping him.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: I don't swear a lot, and I remember I just
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: I was. I was in the car with my mom
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: and I was it had affected my mobility and I
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: almost died and I'd had a relapse of my conditions
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: and they caught it in time, but it was a
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: whole thing. And I remember came home from the hospital,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: I was super frail and the whole shebang. I remember
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: just sitting there being like can I just say something?
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: And she was like sure, and I just like dropped
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: the F bomb and I never it was a very
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: out of character. And my mom was like do it again,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: and she doesn't swear either, and I was like yeah,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: and then I was like this. I was like yep.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: And so it's like it's like you gotta be real.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: The more you can keep it real and find that balance,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: the more authentic you can be. But also like take
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: the weight off.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: When someone cares about you. It isn't a burden to them.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: It's they show up for you because they love you,
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: and that's what they can do for you in that moment.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: So it takes also a strong person to yes, say
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: I'm not okay, but then also at times to let
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 3: people show up for you, especially when you do consider yourself.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: An energy dealer, as you do right now.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: I know that at this point you have shared your
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: story with so many and you've made such a big,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: big impact. When someone comes to your Instagram, they see
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: you as the woman that has told this story, that
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: has come back and beat these unbelievable odds to do
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: what you do. When you look in the mirror every day,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: what is it that you see looking back at you.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: I've been doing a superhero post every time I look
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: in the mirror. Recently, I've been really trying to work
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: on that because because I feel like there's nothing worse
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: than like looking in a mirror and being like, oh no,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: what am I doing? You know, when I look in
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: a mirror, I see a survivor, and and I always
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: try to remind myself of that and be like, you're
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: a survivor and you're doing it. To keep doing it
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: I'm done looking in the mirror and seeing like I'll
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: get you this to get you that I don't have,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: Like I just I'm done doing that. I'm done. I'm
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: done living in the future of the past. I'm done.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I really am at a point now where let's celebrate
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: the now. Let's celebrate who we are, celebrate our strengths.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm celebrating being a survivor, but I'm also going
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: to celebrate the fact that, like I'm strong and I'm
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: a survivor. So that's what I'm looking in the mirror
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: now and doing that superhero pose or giving myself you know,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: as mel Robins says at high five, like yeah, those
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: little things is being like it's a great day, to
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: have a great day, and even if you don't feel great,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: say it. You got up and you put your feet
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: on the ground, and for ten freaking years that didn't happen.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it takes a really strong person also to get
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: to that place where you're like, no, like, we're not
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: going to go in this other direction today, Like today,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: I'm going to choose to see the good as you've
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: done throughout this entire journey. That doesn't mean that there
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: are difficult moments where those other thoughts come through your mind,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: but you have the opportunity then to recognize them, note them,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: and then move in the direction that serves you more.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Now, just reroute it.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: Rerout it exactly, a little redirect, a little pivot, Victoria.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: Final question.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: piece of advice. Looking back at that eleven year old
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: girl in a vegetative state, knowing what you know, Now,
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: what do you tell her?
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 4: Ooh?
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: I would say, I would say, hang on, sweet girl,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: you're in for a really, really wonderful ride. Yeah, it's
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: gonna be more than Okay.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, thank you so much for just taking the
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: time to talk to me today. Your story, Like I said,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: it's truly remarkable, and I'm so grateful that you're sharing
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: your light with so many because there's so much of
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: it to go around. For the hurdlers that don't follow
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: along with you just yet, how do they keep keep
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: up with you?
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: How do they do that? Give us your details?
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: They can follow me on Instagram at orlyn v one.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: That's usually that's where I say.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: It most of to date, amazing.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily Body and at Hurdle Podcast, Another
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 3: hurdle conquered.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.