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Transcript

S3 Ep11: Twister Trouble: Anjelah Faces the Storm 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing I've learned living in the South is the bugs are bigger.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all got some Nashville geographic stuff happening here.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like in California, we have bugs, but our bugs are killed.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then I get to Nashville.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I went to get in my shower one morning.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: There was a spider in my shower.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now this spider was so big.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was interrupting him.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I went to open the shower curtain.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know anybody was in here.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: My bad.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: He was big and he was furry too.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I didn't know if I should brush it or smush it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: He was so furry he had dander.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I need my Zyrtek pill just for the spider dander.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, sir, the head and shoulders is right there.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Help yourself.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: If I ever have to kill a spider that big, I am morally conflicted.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because at that point, that's a pet.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Put a collar on that thing, that's Bubba.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Bubba had plans that day.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: He was just getting started.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: He's in a shower.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's messed up.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever have to kill a spider that big, you could hear the crunch.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you hear the crunch, you know that thing had a soul.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's messed up.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I used to kill any spider or bug that was around because I don't like bugs at all.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: But over the past couple years, I have this newfound respect for nature and insects.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So now if I ever see a spider in my house, what I like to do is scoop it up in a container, take it outside, throw it in a bush, and then immediately go like this.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm left with no choice and I have to kill a spider, I now like to start with an apology.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, sir.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know you weren't expecting this today.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be honest, neither was I.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Truth is, I don't know you.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: You could be poisonous and you could kill me.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So at this point, it's either me or you.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I have chosen you.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: There was this one night I was home alone by myself.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what home alone means.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was watching the Night Stalker.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Did you guys see that one?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The documentary about the serial killer that was in Southern California like back in the 80s.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm home alone watching this show, super creepy.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Episode's done.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I turn the TV off, and all of a sudden I hear this on my front window.
• 3:14
  unknown: T.
• 3:15
  unknown: T.
• 3:16
  unknown: T.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I said, nope.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I ran to my room.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I put on every piece of clothing that I own.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I said, if he's gonna try to assault me, he's gonna have to work real hard.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have any weapons in the house.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: What's my self-defense weapon?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Denim, three pair.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: After a while, nobody came in the house, but I kept hearing the noise.
• 3:55
  unknown: T.
• 3:56
  unknown: T.
• 3:57
  unknown: T.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, I go to the window, I move the curtain, I look outside, and it's not a psychopath trying to kill me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was a mosquito.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: The size of a bald eagle.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it was a cicada.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'd never seen a cicada in my life, but everybody kept telling me, oh, it's cicada season.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was one of those.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a mix of both.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a moscada.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Some Nashville geographic stuff happening.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: This was the kicker for me, though.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: There was one night I was driving home and I'm pulling into my driveway, and what do I see?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: A snake slithering across.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I draw the line right there.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I was like, all right, you know what, Nashville?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Bless your heart.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is getting ridiculous.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a big fan of wild snakes.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Pet snakes, I'm okay with.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if there was a snake right here and he came with a cosigner, like he came with a guy that was like, oh yeah, that's my pet.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: He's cool.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I like that snake.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good snake.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Him?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know him.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: He probably had that snake since he was a baby.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: He probably just ate a baby.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Pet snakes, I'm okay with.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know how sometimes you go to a real touristy area and there'll be that one guy with like a hundred-pound snake around his neck, and he's just walking around, he's like, Yeah, you want to take a picture with my snake?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'll do it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, all right, 20 bucks.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I don't need no picture.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is, I was down.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna do it if it was free.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because free is my love language.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Learning a lot.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Being a California girl, living in the South, I actually had my very first tornado warning experience.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, I'm from California.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get tornadoes in California.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: We get earthquakes.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, earthquakes are scary for people who have never experienced one, but actually, they're not that bad.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: To be honest, I will take an earthquake over a tornado any day.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let me tell you, give me a 3.5, a solid four, I will ride that quake like.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is what happened.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: We were asleep.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was 3 a.m.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I get one of those amber alerts on my phone.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: The alert that goes off real loud.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, first of all, what child is getting kidnapped at 3 a.m.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: That they need to wake me up to tell me about it?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: What VIP child is this?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: That they think at 3 a.m.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna run outside looking for Honda Civics.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: A silver one, it's always silver.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I check my phone.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whose kid is this?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it says, tornado warning.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Take cover now in a basement.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, my heart started beating so fast.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh my god, do we even have a basement?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm from California.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: We don't do basements in California.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's dangerous because there could be an earthquake.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I wake up my husband, I was like, babe, babe, we got an alert on the phone.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: It says there's gonna be a tornado.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta go in the basement.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do we have a basement?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now my husband is an army brat.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: He grew up everywhere.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: He spent a lot of time in Kansas and he was like, oh, we used to get these all the time.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even worry about it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just go back to sleep.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: To sleep.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: But they just woke me up.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's what they want.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, what county is it in?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, that's like five miles away.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're good.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: We could watch it from the front.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: He went back to sleep.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Wasn't even stressed at all.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I got up.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I said, oh no, this is an emergency.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: We sleep with one of those sleep sound machines that plays like the rain sounds.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we were already in the midst of a storm.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: We had our own storm going on.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was on surround sounds.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: It was real loud.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: There was stuff blowing up on the windows, but I didn't even notice because I just thought it was a good episode that night.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, ooh, this one's realistic, favorite.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I get a, I turn the sleep machine off.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is when we can hear the tornado sirens outside.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Then my husband go, go, go, get up, go! Go, go.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: But you said we can watch that.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: We both start freaking out.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grabbing things we don't even need, like Windex, a staper.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Where do we go?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Turns out we do have a basement.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Guess where it is?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Outside.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're in the Wizard of Oz.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: We keep it locked for safety.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we keep the key in the junk drawer in the kitchen.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: You highly underestimate what you consider junk until you're in an emergency situation.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how you guys keep your junk drawers at home.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're highly organized.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I open up my drawer, I gotta sift through a bunch of dead batteries, expired coupons, hella rubber bands.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even use rubber bands.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: But every time we get one, we gotta save it.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: What is so sacred about a rubber band that we can't throw it away?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it came wrapped around the newspaper or asparagus.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's in the drawer now.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that asparagus rubber band, that's a good one.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Woo! We better save this.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Got about 86 keys in here.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even have 86 locks.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Finally find the basement key.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: We go outside, unlock the door, get down into the basement, and that is when we realize that we are fully unprepared for this situation.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: We have no emergency necessities down there.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: No water, no food, no batteries, nothing.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just me, my husband, and hella spiders.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And they were all looking at me real suspect-like, too.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like they recognize me.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's her.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: But this is from a homie Bubba right here.