Latest / Bussin' With The Boys / Best of the Bus: Adam Ray Details Donald Trump & Joe Biden 'Kill Tony' Showdown with Shane Gillis

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Best of the Bus: Adam Ray Details Donald Trump & Joe Biden 'Kill Tony' Showdown with Shane Gillis · Bussin' With The Boys

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Are you a sports fan at all?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Huge, dude. Really? I know that that's a part of
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: the show. We could talk the whole time sports, and
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: then we could do a separate comedy one. But we'll
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: try to find a healthy balance.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Are you a college footballer? Are we rolling?
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Huge, dude.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: We're rolling right now?
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Let's give Adam Ray a round of applause, huh?
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me, fellas. First time caller, long time listener.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: There we go. Always when we'll come to grab some fucking...
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Some web above my head.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Some web above your head, dude.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It reminded me, I used to work at Universal Studios.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: It was my first day job. I played Wolverine. Then
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I was a tour guide. Then I hosted the Fear
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Factor live show. But your form was very, there was
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: a Spider-Man there. There were three Spider-Mans, three Wolverines. I
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: was third string Wolverine because I didn't know shit about
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: the fucking, kids would be like, what's Wolverine's favorite food?
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: And I was like, potatoes, Alex. It was one of
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: my first jokes. And I literally would say that. And
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: then my boss was like, don't be funny. Wolverine's not funny.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: She'd hear me out in the park and be like,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: stop making fucking jokes. I'm like, I'm a comedian. She's like, well,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: maybe this is the wrong fit for you. I'm like, well,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: maybe you are a ex-Disney princess that put on some
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: weight and now you're taking it out on the characters.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: True story.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say her full name. True story.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: She was overweight. She was actually a big gal.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: She was. She was a big gal. And she's fine now,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: but she just was like, yeah. Anyway. But so, yeah,
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: the Spider-Man was... There was one of them that was gay.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: And he... was fucking, dude, his fucking, when he would
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: fire webs, dude, it was always a little like, just,
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: you know, it wasn't bad. It was just different.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You know? It wasn't a little too much. By the way,
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I sound like a dad who's definitely not a fan. Like,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: my son's not bad. He's just different, you know? But
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: he was great.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: He would break the wrist a little too much.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Break the wrist a little too much. And he and
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: there was a guy who was playing Shrek and they
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: were dating and they got, somebody was fucking somebody and
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: they got into it in character in the park. Bro,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: when I tell you like, You know, I used to
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: live with a guy who worked at AT & T
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: and a guy who was a chef and we'd come
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: home at night and all like commiserate stories. You know,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: how was your day? And my buddy AT & T
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: would be like, you know, I fucking hate people, dude.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: People come in, they're just, they don't know how to
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: work the phones. They're just like, they're like, how do
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I upgrade the plan? It's like, I already upgraded it
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: for you. Do you even know, like, it won't turn on.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Like it's, it's actually on right now. And then my
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: chef buddy would just be blackout drunk. Cause you know,
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: anyone that works in the, you know, the, the food industry, they,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: you know, they work and they come home and they booze. Right.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: So he'd be fucked up. And they're like, Adam, how
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: was your day? And I was like, dude, I saw
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: a trolley drive by me with SpongeBob, Curious George, and, uh, Fievel, uh,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: blasting the song. Ooh, ooh, uh, uh, Ching Chang, Walla Walla,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Bing Bang. And I was holding a multicolored squirt gun
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: and I was playing a 1940s cop. And my boss
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: told me, put down the squirt gun. You're ruining 1940s
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: New York. And I'm like, did you hear the fucking
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: trolley that just drove by blasting that song? I'm not
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: a history buff, but I don't think ooh, ooh, uh, ooh,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Ching Chang, Walla Walla, Bing Bang was being played during
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: World War II. Anyway. So, um, Who are you guys
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: voting for? No, what was the question?
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: No.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. So Spider-Man. So then Spider-Man, Shrek, they're fighting.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, dude, this is wild. Because
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: kids thought it was a part of like a daytime show.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: But they were like, I didn't do it because Shrek
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: was under the fucking thing. It was like, he's just
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: a friend. He's like, whatever. And he was like, watch
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: out your fucking Facebook, you know? In the park, dude.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: While kids are around trying to take photos.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Kids are taking photos. They got no clue. They're like, oh,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: this is like, oh, I guess, you know. Yeah. They
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: can curse now.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Multi-universe. Multi-universe before it even started.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: How long did you have that job for?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I was, so I went to USC. I was there
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: during the Trojan War, the Pete Carroll years. Yeah. My first,
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: 01 to 05. So my first year.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: Oh, the good years.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: The good years. The years that you hang your hat on.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Bro, I mean, we're talking, you know, not just Leinart, Reggie, Lindale,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Carson for two years. but fucking Mike Williams, Dwayne Jarrett,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: you know, um, I mean, oh my God, dude, up the, uh,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: up and down the line. And, uh, and now Sammy
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: D has become a good buddy of mine who had
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: a good run there and is, you know, five and oh, and, uh, making,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: making everybody in SoCal look good. Um, it was wild.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: He was having a hell of a year, bro.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: He's having a great year. Sam Darnold.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: It's so cool. Sports are so, I mean, you guys
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: know this man. It's so wild. Like people get written
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: off so quickly when they have high expectations and I
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: guess understandably so, but, man, to be a number three pick,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I can have a shit situation. And I just saw
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: him in Minnesota. I was out there doing shows. And he, uh,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I go, I keep hearing these, uh, pundits try to
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: act like they know you and say like, Oh, San Francisco,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: like he got better. Like, of course, dude, you back up.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: You were shitting him. And that's why he's doing well.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And I go, what is that? Like, now I'm going
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: to ask the source. Did that have something to do
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: with it? He goes, dude, I always will say, no,
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I got my PhD in football being in San Fran.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: No shit.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And he goes, I, um, He said, just understanding
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: coverages more, obviously being more seasoned, more comfy in your
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: own skin. But he said, look at that baby boy face, dude.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Look at that fucking five inches hard, dude. And so
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: he said that just taking his time and learning not to,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: that you don't have to force anything is what he
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: really got. He's like, so many young QBs like want
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: to scramble and have to feel like they got to
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: make a play. And he's like, knowing that it's okay
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: to throw it away if it's not there.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: And so then I said, well, what about, I think,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: a few games ago when he scrambled out to the
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: left and hit Jefferson in the corner? And he goes, well,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: it was third down. I knew we had points. And
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: so it was, you know, trying to make something happen.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: As soon as I got outside the pocket, I saw him.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: And he goes, and I saw the defender's back turning.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, I feel bad for
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: this guy. Like, because he was just like, oh, this
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: is six, you know?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when you have a guy like Justin Jefferson.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Who he says is, like, the greatest guy he's ever, like,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he might be the GOAT when it's all over.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: He said him and McCaffrey are, like, the two studs
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: of the.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Shout out McCaffrey, dude. First off, he is like, if
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: there was a mural to have on this bus, it
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: would be McCaffrey. He's a great white hoe. He gives
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: all of us, we have all white employees, and it's
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: just like, that's... Good.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: For you, man. He's giving it back. Dude, give him
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: a chance, dude, because I'll say, no, but... Finish that thought.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Finish that thought.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Being at SC during that time, you know, the Lakers
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: were Kobe Shaq running the table, and you know, the Dodgers,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I guess, were okay, but SC football was kinked. I mean,
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: it was, that's why when Reggie got in trouble, I was,
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: everybody was so pissed because it was like, dude, there
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: were Bush jerseys everywhere. Not just around campus. All of
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles. I mean, he was a god.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: He was.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: So, give him an Escalade and a fucking butt plug.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Whatever you gave him, dude. Like, I think he earned it.
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: Every kid around the country, too, was watching his highlights
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: to wear it.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah. 100%. At all times.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: But in 01 to 05, like, to take advantage of
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: a city like LA and have everybody actually back, it's
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: got to be one of the hardest things to do.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I heard they were like, these guys were dating celebrities
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: in college.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, you'd see Kardashians around campus and.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: Like- Kardashians before Kardashian. This is when the Kardashians were
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: on Paris Hilton Show.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: No, I'm joking. What's that? Yeah, before Paris. Yeah. Yeah,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I think it was like reality TV got going- What
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: was the height of it? Probably about early, mid-2000s, maybe?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I think it did, yeah.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: I mean, that's when MTV was going off. Next and
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Room Raiders. Jersey Shore.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Those aren't reality TV, is it?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, for sure.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Does that count?
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, not like how we, I guess, view it now,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: but Room.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Raiders, yeah. But if you look back at like 0105,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: like the Paris Hilton show, whatever that show was called.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Don't act like you don't know it. I don't.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: I swear to God. I'm not a- 50 bucks if you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Come up with it right now.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: It was with her and Lionel's daughter, right?
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Homegrown or fucking Twat City or what was it?
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: No.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I really don't know.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: By the way, I watched five seasons of Twat City
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: without even knowing what it was.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: What is Twat City?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: It's not a real show. What are you talking? I
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: was just, I said, well, I was trying to come
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: up with the name of the Nicole Richie Paris Hilton show.
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: Would you know?
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Simple Life. See? I knew it was a couple banger.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Boom, boom. Simple Life.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Simple Life. But on that show, Kim Kardashian was like
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Paris Hilton's lackey.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And that's like 01 to 05. This is before like
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: the peak.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like the peak is now, right?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the peak is now.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Everyone's diving in.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: Jersey Shore was hot back in 2010.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I remember the first time I saw Jersey Shore and
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I was like, wow, this is unbelievable. Unreal. Because the hype,
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I let in.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: You bet. Hey, we got a grenade outside.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Bro, I... Dude, Snooki just liked one of my reels
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: and I'm like... I kind of got a little like, okay. Yeah,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: you got to make it.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Here we go, dude.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I might have been on Kill Tony guest of the year, but.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: This fucking feels good. This might be it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Snooki took a punch from a PE teacher, you know? Yeah,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: that show, the hype got so big and I almost
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: didn't want to watch it because I was like, there's
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: no way it's going to live up to what I
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: have created. And it surpassed it, dude.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: No shit.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was high as balls, but it was
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: also like, they were just, it felt like real world.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: They were still people. Like they felt like you could
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: see that guy outside. These guys were like insane. You're like,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: they're caricatures of human beings.
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: And they, but they weren't, they were like, I mean,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: look like, I feel like that guy was that guy
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: before that camera started rolling. He was just like, yeah, dude,
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: nothing's changing.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Like, and they must've Jim was a GTL, Jim tan laundry, Jim.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Tan laundry for the situation on the, um, the shirt
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: before the shirt, the shirt before the shirt, dude. Yeah, but,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: so yeah, a huge sports fan. I mean, Seattle guy,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: so obviously Pete went to Seattle. That was amazing. That's
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: why I was so sad when he got canned, because
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: it was like, dude, that was my stepdad for 17 years.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Huge Ems fan, Sonics, RIP. You know, we can talk
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: about the Sonics leaving. We can also talk about my parents' divorce, whatever.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: However sad you want to make this fucking podcast. They'll
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: be back, though. I've got to know Sean Kempto real well, NGP,
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: which is fucking rad and smoke. Dude, I did a Dr.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Phil live show in Seattle yesterday. at this about thousand
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: seat theater. We're gonna make it real Seattle. We're doing
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: this big Dr. Phil live tour now, right? And all
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: these theaters. And so in each place you wanna try to,
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: you know, get somebody from like when we do the
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Nashville one, we got some, you know, pretty big music
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: guys from down here. They're gonna come on and some
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: people that just, you know, try to get somebody from here,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: if not fly them out to there, if they're not
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: from there and just make the show as special as possible.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: So Joel McHale is a good buddy of mine. He's
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: a big Seattle baby. And he was in Vancouver. shooting his, uh,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Fox show. And so he stayed down and then we
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: got Sean Kemp come on and some Seahawks. And then
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: we got the fish, the market, uh, fish guys, right.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: We hit them up. We're like, how much to come
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: throw fish into the fucking crowd. And they were like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: we're fucking fans, man. Like we'll do it for this amount.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: If you just want to buy the fish. So it
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: was like, you know, 75 fish. And then there was
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: a King salmon. It was like 300. And so it
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: became a cool thing where it was like, we're going
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: to do Seattle trivia with Joel McHale. So it was like,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: and they were all fan submitted questions like Joel, you know, um, uh,
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Costco was, uh, was created after, you know, what suburban fatty.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: And I'd give like a, a bunch of names and
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: every answer he got would be right. And then turn
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: the lights on. Who wants to catch a fucking fish?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And then these guys would come out and the music
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: would play. And bro, I've never seen, you know, you
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: go to any sporting event when they got the t-shirt
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: cannon or fucking, you know, beanies, whatever it tells you.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: People go nuts, dude. We love free shit. Stop saying
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: it's just a Jew thing, man. Everyone loves free shit.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: And this guy fucking barehanded one, dude, the place went bonkers.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: And dude, it was awesome. So, but Kemp came on
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: and the next day he hit me up and that's
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: my white rapper brother-in-law, Derte. He closed the show out.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: fucking you know made his night and um he uh
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: hit me up the next day rain man he goes
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: he's in my phone and he goes uh dude so
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: fun like come down to the shop he's got a
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: weed shop called kemp's cannabis in downtown seattle and he
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: goes come on down let's burn one down and like
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: go get some lunch and i'm like yeah dude whatever
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: you fucking say you could have said let's go vandalize
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: a baskin robbins let's go kidnap a fucking gaggle of
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: little people and sell them to hamas whatever you want
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: to do And so we go down to Kemp's Cannabis
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: and we're walking around downtown Seattle on a beautiful summer day,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: smoking joints. He's asking me about comedy shit. He's telling
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: unbelievable NBA stories. And it's just like, bro, comedy got like,
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: it's just wild, dude. And he's a fucking very cool guy.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: And yeah, man.
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: Did you ever see.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Like this amount of doors opening for you when you
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: decided to do comedy?
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: No way, man. You can't even. I mean, you're a Dr.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Phil tour.
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah it's wow which is crazy and dr phil any
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: of it hey oh absolutely yeah the clips are everywhere.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Dr phil what he's the one that said you were
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: the kill tony guest of the year yeah yeah he
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: gave that whole clip to you.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah he's um uh when does this come out
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: by the way next tuesday okay cool well there's some
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: stuff i'll tell you guys off cam but he's he's
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: uh signed off on the show and like i've talked
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: to him recently and he's just like it's real funny
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: man i you know, you would have known a long
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: time ago if I wasn't cool with this shit, you know? And, uh,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: and he was like, uh, you know, when we first talked,
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: he was like, I got one request. Can you stop
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: kissing me as Bobby Lee or kissing Bobby Lee as me?
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Cause I've kissed Bobby Lee twice. And I go, I
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: can't do that, Phil. I go, I know that you're
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: happily married to 48 years, but I also know you
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: love the, soft supple lips of a 50 year old
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Korean man. And I swear, he takes a beat and
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: he goes, we'll be right back. Cause he's watching up
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: and he's yeah. I mean, that's a fucking bad angle.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Cause that looks like I'm really enjoying it.
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: It looks like, yeah, that's it. That's our first kiss. Look,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: have you guys, have you talked to Dr. Phil about
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: coming on and you interviewing?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: That's in the works. Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: It's in the works right now.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And so, uh, but you know, it's, I knew my
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: intentions the whole time weren't, I was never trying to
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: defame him. It was just all goofy parody. And, um,
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: But you still don't know how someone's going to take
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: being impersonated, right? I've heard from friends that have been
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: on Saturday Night Live that there's been guests that have
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: come on. And my friend or whoever does an amazing
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: impression of them. So it's like, oh, what a great
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: opportunity to do some sort of looking in the mirror
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: sketch or having two McConaughey's, whatever it is. And the
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: person is like, I don't want any part of that.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: And you're like, dude, what a bummer. If you can't
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: laugh at yourself. And again, I don't feel like what
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: I'm doing is I'm not up there being like, you know,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: women deserve a couple of fuck. You can, you know,
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: a lot tap from time to, you know, I'm not
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: doing anything like that, that, that makes him look bad or,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: or I don't pull from, you know, the, what he
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: actually does in real life. It's just all heightened and
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: still me through all the makeup, you know? Um, but
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: you know, it was the actor strike hit. And, and
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: after COVID, I just kind of got to a real
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: stale point where it's like, you know, you guys are
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: the same way. It's like, you're just always trying to
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: throw darts, man, and be creative and find ways to, um,
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: you know, not just make money and support yourself, but like,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: for me, it's like, if I'm not flexing the creative muscle,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I'm like trying to do new shit. Like, fuck, what
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: are you doing? You know, going on stage and doing
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: the same shit every time. So I love doing crowd
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: work in between my shows, you know, pepper through because
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: it just breaks the monotony of straight material, you know?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: And it's, it's, you know, it's the spontaneity of not
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: knowing what's going to happen. And so when the actor
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: strike was happening, it was like, I don't want to
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: wait around for jobs to happen. And really waiting around
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: to be in other people's shit just runs its course.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: So it was like, all right, I love doing, I
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: love being on stage. I, you know, had a, you know,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: went to USC for acting school and then, you know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: did a bunch of plays. And that's why I started
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: doing standup because I just liked being on stage. And
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I was like, there's gotta be something else I can do.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: I'd been fucking around with Jeremiah Watkins during COVID doing
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: these like lost Dr. Phil episodes with all his characters.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: So I kind of honed the character that way. And
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I was doing these Adam Ray and friends shows at
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: the comedy store and everyone started kind of doing, you know,
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I think just around that time and, and friend show.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: And I was like, fuck now I'm just like one
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of like, I'm just doing what everyone's doing, you know?
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: And again, that just makes you feel like, uh, like, yeah,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, I got more to bring to the
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: table and build a machine. Totally dude. And, and you're like,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I want to, you got to try it like it,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: but you know, doing a live show, then there's the,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: you know, always the apprehension of like, Oh, like fucking the, I,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: you know, the store's my home club. So, The staff,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: like they're going to be judging me doing something different
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: and your comic friends in the back watching. You have
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: to get over that shit. Right. So eventually it was like,
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: who fucking cares if this bombs? You got to you
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: got to try something. And Bill Burr had to cancel
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: the last show. So I knew I had him committed
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: to the to whatever next show I did. And so
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I called him up and I was like, Billy, I
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: might like I'm thinking about doing this live show is Dr. Phil.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it looks like. It's like a
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: late night show. I'll interview you, maybe do some standup.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: And he just couldn't have been quicker to be like, dude,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: fucking yes, dude, I'm fucking in. That's fucking so funny, dude.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Make fun of my anger issues. Say that I got
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: a black wife going on that, you know? And, uh,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: and it was like, it crushed, it sold out in
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: a day. And then, so I was like, at least I,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: cause I wanted to, that was the first episode. That
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: was the first one about a year ago.
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Probably about a year ago, a couple of weeks ago.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: And he just ripped and he and I had a
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: great bender and he immediately was like, I want to,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: he's like, we're going to do it again. you got
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: to go harder at me. Cause I was trying to
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: find my, how nervous Bill's my favorite comic. So I'm like,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: you know, even though I'm in character and I felt
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: a little more comfy to jab him, I'm still like,
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want to fucking not be funny in front
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: of him. But so I felt pretty good. And then
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: we did it the second time and it was just like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: we started the show and I was like you, and
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: he said something and I go, you're such a fucking cocksucker.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Aren't you? I go, you're just, you're an angry guy.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: You wake up in the morning, just want to hit something,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: don't you? And like, and then we just had a
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: much better like report and he's doing it again for
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: the third time in December at the store. Um, but
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: so that like gave immediate eyeballs to it. Right. And
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: then it was like, you know, we're talking about Adam Devine.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, in this business too, and you
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: guys are great examples of this, you get to do
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: cool shit and work with cool people. If you, you
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: work hard and you fucking be kind, dude, it's really
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: not that tough to not be a piece of shit.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: It's not, it's tough to, it's easy to not be
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: a piece of shit and not be a pedophile. Do
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: you know how easy it is to look at a
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: kid and not go, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: It's so easy to not do that. And it's so
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: easy to be kind to people, dude. And then people
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: want to fuck with you. So I start going, I go,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Adam Devine, you want to do it? Bobby Lee, Bobby Lee,
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Bobby Lee. And I'm quoting Jared from Subway. And then
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I go, and then I go too soon. And so
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: then Bobby and Santino came on, then Rife, then, you know,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: then it was like, Now not only find some cool combos,
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: you know, Whitney Cummings and Nikki Glaser did it together,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: which is another cool part about it where you're going,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Whitney and Nikki know each other, but they never been
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: like on a show like that together. So that was
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: a really cool dynamic. Then we had, uh, you know,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Rick Glassman's a good buddy of mine and Salvocano and,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: and they know each other, but Rick helped me get
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Dax Shepard. And then I was like, well, I'm gonna
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: have all three of them at the same time. And
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: that's kind of a challenge just to kind of balance
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: the energies. But then that was fun. And then Jelly
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Roll came by and Pete Holmes and Tiffany Addish. And
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: now we got, uh, You know, this next one we're doing...
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: The last one we just had was Chris DeStefano and
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Fortune Feimster and Carolla. And now we got Rob Lowe,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Wayne Brady, and Josh Wolfe. And then December 1 is
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Bill Burr, Jaleel White, Rob Riggle, and Tony Hawk. Just fucking,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: you know... Tony Hawk. Just marry, fuck, kill.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's all time, man.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Kill, fuck, you know?
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Marry, fuck, kill, fuck. So you do the Bill Burr once.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: And did you know right then and there, I was like, okay,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I got something here.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I think so. Well, actually, no. I knew it was fun.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: And the audience had a good time. So I was like,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: it's at least... and then the challenge of like, well now,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: because we just kind of had loose, like I'll come
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: out and do a monologue, you know, which was like
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: three jokes, just kind of, you know, today's show is
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: all about imitation, you know, Webster's dictionary, and then some
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: sort of thing. And then three jokes and then some
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: crowd work. Um, and then, uh, a little quick bit before.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: And then I had these old sketches that I shot
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: as fake commercials and it was fun. So I, so
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: then it was the challenge of now let's just make
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: it tighter and better. And then we got rid of
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: the standup part. Cause that just ate 20 minutes. Um, and, uh,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: And then each show is just like different. Like we, I,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: you know, randomly met Mark Summers used to host Double
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Dare like 10 years ago. And so as I'm trying
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: to add these extra elements to the show, I'm like,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: what if like Mark came on and like to end
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: the show, Jeremiah always comes out at the end as
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: a new character. And then he and I get in
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: a fight and that's how the show ends. And then
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: I do like this final thought with a spotlight and
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: piano music, you know, where it's like, well, we learned
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: a lot today, you know, after I beat the shit
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: out of Jeremiah with sound effects and fart noises, whatever
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: in any character. And so, I go, what if Mark
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Summers comes on and we do a Double Dare thing?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Just a way to– and so we built all these
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Double Dare sets and Jeremiah played the kid and we
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: had the fucking helmets and we had people come up
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: and we had the Double Dare music and Mark Summers
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: hosted it and he was hilarious. Yeah, here we go.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: I mean he used to be a fucking– Mark Summers
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: used to be a– yeah, something that's how the fight ends. Yeah.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: It's just all the sound effects. And then, yeah. And
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Mark Summers, yeah.
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: Just over the top sound effects.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: And we put sex toys in the ball pit, so
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: that's like what you had to, it was like, find
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: the flag or the dildo, you know, covered in fucking
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: double dare mush. And Mark Summers is like, oh.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Is that you throwing punches at the end there?
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, then I fucking eat shit for real. Then I
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: get up and I'm like, I'm fine. I'm fine. And
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: we start chatting. I'm like, I'm fine.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: When you're, when you're finding this character, how, as you're
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: like working through the process, how hard is it for
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: you to stay in character at all times?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know, man.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, too deep of a question.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, not at all.
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: I mean, uh, he's a bad one.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Somebody just asked me that. I'm not like, uh, you know,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: you hear about some, Tom Hanks got asked that question.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Cause there was about when Heath Ledger went so deep
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: with the Joker.
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: And I think there was like talks that he like wouldn't,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: you know, there's some actors that like Jim Carrey for
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: man on the moon went on set as Andy Kaufman.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: And it was like, Andy Kaufman the whole time. And
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: apparently it was a fucking, it was wild. And then
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Tom Hanks was like, dude, I fucking, I'm Forrest Gump.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: And then I fucking go take a shit. And I'm like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm Tom Hanks. Like, I'm just, I can
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: break it, you know? But some people have that. And
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: some people need to talk to me in character, whatever. It's, yeah, man,
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: I'm in and out of it. But, but, you know,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know. All the reps of, with acting and
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: stuff probably at least give me a good base to
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: know how to like, but again, it's still me, but
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: it's like, I guess if you're asking, you know, can
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I stay in the voice? Yeah. That's pretty easy to maintain. Yeah.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Just cause reps are doing it. But, um, but yeah,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, no clue. You never know what is going
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: to be a thing that's going to get you more anything.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: So it's like, you have to do it with a set,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: with the intention of like, this is fun, which is
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: truly how it started. And then a challenge and then
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: like something different. I'll do it once a month just
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: to kind of mix up the monotony of all the
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: other bullshit. And then, yeah, dude, I mean like now
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: it's like, you know, But again, it's something that's opening
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: doors for other shit. It's not, I am not, if
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I was three years into comedy, yeah, dude, I'd probably
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: be in full fill right now.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: There's a piece of us hoping.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: Well, dude, is he going to walk through the door?
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I'm down to come back and do that for sure
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: because you guys are the shit. But like, yeah, if
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: I hadn't found my voice through comedy, because now it's like,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: all my standup shows are packing out because people from
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Kill Tony and this are like, there's, they're coming to
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: the shows.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Like all the shows in Zany's this week are sold out.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: And I only, they would only give me a one
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: nighter up until about, you know, two years ago. I
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: was like, can I get a weekend? That guy, you
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: just don't move tickets. And now everyone's coming out and
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I've been doing standup 17 years. So then you go, okay, cool.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that I stuck with it. So now that
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: like everyone coming is going to get a great show.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Cause I'm going to, you know, I'm ready for it.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: Did the Biden impression.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. We got so many. Look, we got upstairs jobs.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: We got downstairs jobs. It's a great question, Will. We
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: got Will. We got Will. We got Will Compton. We
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: got Will. I went to Compton. I found my first
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: black friend was in Compton. And my second black friend.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: You're a true American right there. Who just shit my pants?
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Fuck, I don't know, dude. I did a couple jokes
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: in my act, and then Tony hit me up and
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: was like, change of plans. You got to come to
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Austin tonight. Shane's sticking around to do Trump. Bring your makeup, gal.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I bought a new vest. It's go time, baby.
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: I bought a new vest.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: So that was like, he hits you up and he's like,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: you got to do this tonight.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Bro, I was doing Kill Tony on that Monday. And
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: then the debate happened. And, you know, Trump's like, Joe,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: your mama's so fat her blood types ragu. And Joe's like,
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: you're a sucker. I'm going to lick your sucker. I'm
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: going to suck your liquor. I'm going to lick.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: See how many licks a chick has got to the
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: center of a Tootsie Pop.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: And then Tony's like, we got to parody this, dude.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: And again, same thing. You don't know what, you just
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: don't fucking know what's going to hit. The first Dr.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Philly don't kill Tony. I hit up Tony. I go, hey, man,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I just did this in L.A. I think it would
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: be fun on Kill Tony because he's known for giving advice.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: And Tony's like, awesome. Yes. Perfect. Do it. Go crazy
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: on Hans. William will be weird about it. And then
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I got a new vest. And then, you know, do it.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Do it. They don't know what we're doing down here.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: They don't know. They don't get it. And so Tony's
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: a shit dude. So Tony is so... I've known him
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: forever and that's such an added advantage that he was
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: so like receptive to like, yeah, dude, come fucking do it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: And we got off stage and it was really fun.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: You can feel in the moment at the mothership and,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: you know, like anything, right? You know from just how
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: it's going that like, all right, I think this will
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: be okay online. And Tony gets off. It's like, that
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: was fucking unbelievable. And then we did another character. I
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: did this old woman named Elaine. And then when this happened,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: I think he, because we had done a few other characters,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: he was like, oh shit, I know you know, we'll
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: use the makeup gal to do it. And she was
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: on her deathbed and she fucking sucked it up. Jen Aspinall,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: shout out. She came down and fucking Shane was a
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: gangster and stayed in makeup for two hours. And, you know,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: he'd done Trump three times. I'd never done Biden. So
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: we're back there trying to help each other out. He's,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: you know, or at least he's, you know, asking me,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: he's like, what are you gonna do for the face?
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm kind of gonna, you know, get.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: The, get the smirk on from Tony and do a
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: lot of pointing, you know, Hey, we just got rear.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: We got, we got a Jew. We got a white guy.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: We got, we got a white, we got a black
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Asian guy. How about it? You know, all types of guys,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: And then, uh, and then I just kind of do
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: the walk and then he was, he, uh, thankfully was like, dude,
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: you got to get the aviators. And so they got
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: those for me last minute, which was, I think a
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: big time character. Just being able to have those to
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: differentiate from my eyes, you know, and then also to
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: be able to take them off and, and just see
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: me off my face, you know, do a little crazy shit,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: but dude, it was fun. And, and man, I've said
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: this on stage, Shane and I talked to each other
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: maybe four or five times at comedy clubs. And, you know, we, uh,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: I did Phil when he did, um, New Year's for
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Kill Tony last year. So we had to shoot the
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: shit a little bit. But we were getting to know
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: each other in character, doing that for two hours, which
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: is so fucking weird. You know, at one point I
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: was like, Shane, this is the most we've ever talked
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: to each other. And he goes, Joe, shut the fuck up.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Traitor Joe, you fucking get a dice. But yeah, dude,
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: he was... But, you know, you just kind of go,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: all right, we're both pros. Like, we don't... We want,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: you know, each other to win. So you got each
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: other's backs. But still finding... the rapport is always what's
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: uh you know a new thing especially when you're like
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: doing something like that for the first time but like
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: he's so fucking funny dude so like just right just
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: knowing that he was gonna be there and come out
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: it was like all i gotta do is find pockets
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: to like right be funny but you know a friend
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: of mine was like dude you got easy man like
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: all you gotta do is mumble and stumble i'm like
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: dude that's funny for a minute like that's i'm gonna
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: be able for two hours i gotta find by the
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: way a shot of aaron rogers i went up to
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: him At the second night of MSG, he was tossing
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: footballs into the crowd. I walked up to him.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I go, Aaron, big fan. Big fan.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: He goes, dude, you're so funny.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I go, hey, the vaccine does work.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: And he just fucking laughed, dude. And I go, hey,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: stop laughing.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: It's real.
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: It's real.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: And just stayed in character. And he was like, all right, man. No,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: it doesn't. No, it doesn't, man.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: It's wild that you guys went off each other, went
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: back and forth in makeup. Because when you walk out,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Shane's face... It's like he saw you for the first time.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: He just couldn't hold it in.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Yeah.
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: That also makes it hilarious.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Bro, it's got like, Tony just told me like the
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Brady roast is like the most watched thing this year
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: and this just surpassed it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: No shit.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Like 2.5 billion off.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: This episode?
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: No shit. Yeah, because Kill Tony's been on for what,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: 11 years?
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he was talking about how it's been going.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I was trying to say the third most watched thing
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: was two girls, one cup. It's fine.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: That is a staple to all of our childhood.
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: That is a staple.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, that's why you guys are younger than me. It's, uh, I,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I said last night, I brought it up and I said,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I go, Oh God, I go, isn't it fucked up?
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I go, I'll never forget who sent me the link
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: to two girls, one cup. Like Sean Flanagan. I'll say
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: his name, dude.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Cody January.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Cody January sent me the clue.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Cody January.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, bro.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Detective slash porn star who's cody january.
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: Just a gritty guard my cactus shadows high school football let's.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Do my uh aunt rest in peace aunt shirley anytime
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: i'd say i love you go all right and uh
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: would never say it back and so uh but she
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: was dating a guy when my uncle passed we're married
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: for 65 years dating a guy in her home named
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: dick justice and i go surely i go I go,
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I go, because she goes, I have a sometimes boyfriend.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I go, what does that mean? She goes, sometimes we
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: hold hands. I go, that's fucking so cute. And I go,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: what's his name? She goes, Dick. I go, I didn't
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: ask why you were dating him. She goes, oh, stop that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: And then I go, I got to meet Dick Justice.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: She goes, you can't. He passed away three days ago.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what the fuck? And she goes,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: that's my life. I make friends and then they die.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Talk to you later, you know. But Cody January is
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: a great name.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Phenomenal name.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: But so don't forget who sent me the link. This
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: is what I said on stage. I go, I'll never
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: forget who sent me the link for 2001 Cup and
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: where I was on 9-11. And I go, that's sad.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Both just a horrible tragedy. And it got about as
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: much laughs as it's getting right now. But it's true.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, that was a wild moment. Fuck, that was wild.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: We don't have to talk about it anymore.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: 9-11 or the two girls, one cup? We can talk
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: about both if you want.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: You know what? Let's save it for part two when
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Phil comes on.
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: There we go. No doubt. There we go.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you this. Are you guys big Halloween
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: guys or is this just for, are you going to
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: do a big bang on Halloween?
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: Massive, right?
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: Massive Halloween.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I fucking love that, dude.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: You guys with Halloween?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, love it, dude.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Give me your top three holidays.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck, dude. You know, as much as, you know,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I guess, you know, Jew. Plus you're a Hanukkah guy.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I'm a Hanukkah guy.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Happy New Year, by the way.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: I like the way you said that. Yeah, Happy New Year.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: You're a Hanukkah guy, huh? All right, we can wrap
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: the show up.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: No, Hanukkah's great. Hanukkah's great. It's eight days. Passover is
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: a great holiday because it's very, if you do a
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: loosey-goosey version of it as far as going through the
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: book and the story, there's a lot of symbolism with
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: the foods, but it's a real fun dinner party hang.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: And that's like what's great about it. And Jews are
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: big on family fucking and doing good deeds, you know?
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: and uh mitzvahs as we call them and so but
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: christmas dude dude love love the uh love that time
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: of year you know all the music being home and
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: my wife had never she's from arizona so when she
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: went up to seattle for like the holidays and got
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: to be around you know az it's like beautiful in
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: december so she's in like true fall weather for thanksgiving
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: and christmas she's now she's all about it and she
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: wants to go back up there but um halloween is
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: up there for sure the halloween parties i mean first
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: time i did mushrooms was a halloween party at my
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: frat a pie in uh at USC and was on
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: mushrooms for the first time. And that was one of
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: the greatest nights of my life. I was dancing with
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: a girl. She was, you know, grinding on me. I
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: thought I was, I thought I started cumming my pants.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: I walked away and she like turned around and even like,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I was, must've been making the face of like, you know,
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: you guys can't hold it. We're so fucking dude. we're
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: such idiots. Like I couldn't act cool and be like, yeah,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: like I'm fine. I can control what's happening. I couldn't.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: So I was just like, and she was just, so
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: then she like turned back. I think she was like
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: dancing harder, you know, like knowing that I was going like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: you know, fucking Beetlejuice. And then, and then she, and
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: then she walked away like mission accomplished. Like, you know,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'll send you the bill. And I go upstairs and
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I go to a buddy of mine and he's like,
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: are you all right? And I just said, probably just
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: started tripping. And I was like, dude, I fucking, I'm
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: freaking out, man. I just fucking thought I came in
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: my pants. And by the way, I feel completely dry.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, I thought I came. I didn't. So
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: now what? I'm questioning everything now. And then he goes, dude,
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: come in and watch some, uh, somebody, we watched some
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: MTV music videos. Lance Morris said it's ironic was on
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: fucking the beginning starts. I just started fucking crying. And
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: then it was just, and I went back out and it's,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, I smoked some weed and that
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: kind of balanced things out. But trick-or-treating is a lot
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: of fun, dude. I went as a bird. My second grade,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: my mom went to Goodwill and got me a bird costume.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't even, like, from anything. Like, you're thinking, oh,
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: were you Big Bird? Were you Tweety Bird? Were you
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: fucking Woody Woodpecker? No, dude. Just a fucking orange bird. No, purple. Purple. God,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: the outfits. I wish.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Fuck.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I got to find it and post it, dude. Purple bird,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: big feathers, and I was a big kid. You're like,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: how big, dude? Well, my coach in basketball called me
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Krispy Kreme Abdul-Jabbar. So how fucking fat do you think
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: that is? Mom and I shared a bra. So I
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: was a big kid, dude. I actually want to say,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I'll put a number two. I think 170 in the
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: fourth or fifth grade.
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: Holy shit, bro.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: The unit.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Dude, before Randy Johnson, dude. It was fucking Adam Ray.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I love the Arizona reference, by the way. What's that?
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Love the Arizona reference. I'm from Arizona.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Dude, what part?
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Cave Creek, Arizona, north of Scottsdale.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Bro, that's where they lived, in Cave Creek, off the
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Cave Creek Highway.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: Damn, there you go, bro.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: What high school?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Cactus Shadows High School. The only one in the.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: Whole school district.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: I think she fucking, I think she went there.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: She might have gone to Pinnacle.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: Nope.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Cactus Shadows sounds familiar. Shut the fuck up.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: How old are you?
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I'm 33 years old.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: She's 29.
• 31:44
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: If you fuck my wife. Was she a freshman? I'm
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: going to fuck you, dude. Was she a freshman when
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: you were a bro? This is how quick this podcast
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: takes a turn, dude. Wait.
• 31:55
  Speaker 6: Podcast the wildest turn of this podcast could possibly take
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: wait say.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: Did you ever hook up with an underarm or all-american
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: in high school.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: You mind if i call her yeah go ahead yeah
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: sweetheart hey babe how'd it go i'm still on the
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: podcast but taylor went to cactus shadows high school and
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: he's from cave creek that's one of the hosts didn't
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: you go to cactus shadows whoa yeah and i just
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: said to him like Well, I said, you're 29. And
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: he goes, I'm 33. And then there was a beat.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: And I go, if you fuck my wife, this podcast
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: is over. Babe, do you know Taylor?
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: What's Taylor's last name? LaJuan.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: LaJuan.
• 32:35
  Speaker 7: No.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: Damn.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Dude sucks. Whoa.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: This is tonight's Doritos moment of the pod. Thank fucking God.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Gotta be honest. My heart was racing and it wasn't
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: the cold brew. Or the zen they made me eat.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: They peer pressured me into eating that.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Lucy.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I wanted this out. And the Lucy they gave me.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: She went to Cactus Shadows though?
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: I love Lucy, not just the show.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: She went to Cactus Shadows for real?
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, babe. Cactus Shadows, right? Yeah.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Where'd you grow up at?
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Dude, dude, that's my wife.
• 33:06
  Speaker 7: I grew up in Rio Verde and then I moved to.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: The Cape Creek area when I was 15, but I
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: graduated in 2014.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so your wife grew up on a ranch. She's
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: in the sticks of Rio Verde.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, bro.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: The boonies.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Literally 45 minutes from anything.
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: What class were you?
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: All right, babe. I love you.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Class 2009.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: All right. Have fun.
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: So she was an eighth grader when you were a senior.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably went to like, there was
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: only two middle schools in that whole district.
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: I love AZ.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: It's awesome.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: And big unit, you know, former mayor, but then went
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: to you guys and obviously like took things up a notch.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: AZ rules. I went there when my folks split. Thanks
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: for bringing it up. I went down there in 90...
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: and when the Mariners you know had their spring training
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: before they saved baseball in Seattle you guys are sports
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: fans I don't know if you followed that 95 not.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: A big baseball or basketball podcast.
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: It's just football right we're one dimensional all good bro
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: yeah yeah um but your parents got divorced as you
• 34:00
  Speaker 6: were talking yeah yeah so I went down to AZ
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: what happened there uh cheated he was a doctor adultery uh.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Hooked up with a nurse um uh let's see what
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: else um with a nurse, moved to AZ, then moved
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: to Kwajalein, then Midway Island, then Santa Fe, then Lafa, Nevada.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Where were your parents running from? My dad moving around
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: to different VA clinics to try to make money and
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: send it back. But also the cops. He was making
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: fentanyl brandies and selling them to MILFs.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Before it was cool.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: No, it was still cool. We've just been late to
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: the game. Big unit. I go down there. My dad
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: lived in Glendale. And I was like 123 every day.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: So one thing, I love AZ, but that heat is wild.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Brutal.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: And I would walk to the Arrowhead Mall and just
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: drenched in sweat. But young fat Adam was like looking
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: to burn cows. Back to the bird story. Dressed as
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: a bird. Fat bird. You know, I'm out there, by
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: the way, playing. Dude, not too far off. You know,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: adjust the face a bit.
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: Bobby Lee in his costume.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: So that's Bobby Lee. If he was an up. And so, uh,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: and so I'm, uh, you know, every kid's dressed up
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: as a Ninja, a Ninja turtle, a cop, a robber,
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: a cowboy. So we're at a recess second grade. I'm like, bro,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: I kid you not. I'm like, what are we playing guys?
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Cause you're in costume. You still want to play a
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: recess and like, you know, playing, you know, cowboys versus turtles.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: And they're like, uh, you can stand, stand up in
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: that tree and be on lookout like a fucking owl.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: You fat fucking Tweety bitch, you know? And that was
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: the principal saying that to me. And so here's the
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: worst part. Here's what I'm getting at. They would make
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: the first through fourth grade parade their costumes through the
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: fifth and sixth grade classes. So you can only imagine
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: the embarrassment. And there was a hat on the bird costume.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: So like this, imagine pulling that bird face all the
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: way down. And then my eyes were through the beak.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: So the beak was like covering right here and like
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: the eyes were through it. And then the eyes were, yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I could look through the beak. And I'm waddling through.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: And I remember just waddling through this class. And you
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: got all these cool costumes. And I hear the fifth
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: and sixth graders laughing. And they're like, dude, who the
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: fuck's in that bird outfit? That's the fattest fucking bird
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: I've ever seen. Dude, that bird's got tits. I mean, dude,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: it was wild, dude. And I remember just going to
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: my mom and being like, this is the worst costume
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: you could have ever picked.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit. How do you recover from that?
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: No, you don't, dude. You become a comedian.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: That's how it started.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it's probably not too far off.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: But yeah, dude.
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: My mom would just put like this webbing on me
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: and I would just be like a dead football player,
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: a dead baseball player.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I was the ultimate warrior one year. Homemade costume.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: My mom would make my costumes too. I was a,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: for two years in a row, I was an employee
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: of the Titanic. Not Rose or Jack.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait. That's brilliant.
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: Just not even one of the guys playing the violin
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: when they passed away.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Just had a fun hat and I had a coat
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: that my mom got at Goodwill. She like sewed on
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: some buttons on it. It was sick. Actually, it's probably
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: my favorite costume of all time.
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: Were you guys poor? We were all right.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Whatever you say, I'm going to say yeah. Because you
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: just said you were an employee on the Titanic. That's
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: a fucking stretch.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Of a costume. My mom was a wizard with a
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: sewing machine.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Awesome. Also very creative though.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Because here's the thing. When you want to set your
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: kid up, I mean, as much as the teasing took
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: a toll. you know, at least it was like a
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: different thing. Like, you know, it's like, I, there were
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: no other fucking birds with boobs, you know? So, so
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: she had that going for her. That was you, huh?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: That essentially not that well done. Not that well done,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: but that's very, that's very, very close.
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: You're just a wizard back there with the AI, huh?
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for real.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: Sherman, you're killing it.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: It might be the best invention. Sherman's like that.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Sherman, is it Sherman, right?
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: Sherman.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Dude, I got a, let me just say this real quick. Kids,
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: you can smoke weed and have a short-term memory. I,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: do these, you know, meet and greets after shows for free,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: which there might come a time when I run out
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: of energy. They're now taking 90 minutes to a couple
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: hours after the show.
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: It's a little wild.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great because I did it, man, when 20
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: people stayed, you know? So it's just like the same muscle,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: just more people. And again, when they're coming to the
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: shows and they're like, you know, to this one couple,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I was just in Naples, just got out before Milton
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: and they had a miscarriage like fucking five months ago.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: The wife's like, I haven't smiled in fucking five months.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: You're our favorite comic. We came out. We're like, we're
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: not going to not come out. hugged, talked for a while,
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: whatever that shit, you gotta, you gotta, not that every,
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: you know, and then the next person's like, I'm fucking, dude,
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I'm on agency. That show was fucking wild. So like
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: it's the yin and the yang, but like, uh, but
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: it means it's just, you gotta do it. And, uh,
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: but so, you know, people will come up and, and
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: it'd be a guy that I maybe talked to during
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: the crowd. And I'm like, Dave, right. And he's like,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: the fuck, that was the beginning of the show. And
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I don't know, man. I just, it's wild.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: And so every time I do it, I'm like, all right, dude,
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: When I get to a point to where I'm like, Scotty, Scotty, Sam,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Sam tonight. Then I'm going to be like, all right,
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: I got to stop smoking pot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: But up until- You got a beautiful brain still.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Dude, it's inspiring, bro. Maybe it's adding to it. Yeah.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: It's fine in all cylinders.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: This is one of those pods too that are like seamless.
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: Like you just say one sentence and then you just go.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Well, he just also, he asked himself questions. Yeah.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: And please tell me if I'm talking too much.
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: No.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I think I've done too many pods.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: You're literally just doing us a favor. Shut the fuck up.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: I think it, no, I'm joking, dude. Too many pods
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: of where you have to like, I think starting out,
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: carry the load. And I think I've now, and then
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: going on pods like Kill Tony or Corolla, we're like,
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: you gotta be active, dude. You know? So it's like,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: but I gotta, I gotta, you know, It's your guys' show.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: I don't want to fuck it up.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: That's not an invitation for you to stop talking you
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: literally you just keep doing exactly what.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: You tell us thank god you didn't fuck.
• 39:35
  Speaker 6: My comedians you hate uh first thought dane cook do
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: you like him 17 years in the game i heard
• 39:40
  Speaker 6: a lot of bad things about him i loved him
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: in middle school.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: Bro uh i don't uh there are a few people
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: hate's a strong word dude there's a few people i
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: don't like don't like hates you know what i've never
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: i can um uh confidently say i've never wasted time
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: hating somebody beautiful have i uh have there been people
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: where i'm like oh you're bad for comedy fuck yeah
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: dude i'll give you a four or five right now
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: yeah where you're just a bad person you're bad business wise.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: You talk shit. You're, you start, you're just like, what
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: are you doing? It's tough enough, dude. It's so fucking
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: tough to, to get anything going, you know? Um, I
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: mean the amount, dude, having some, uh, a nice bump
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: right now and like shows being packed and getting to
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: do this tour and it's all fun. And really now
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: it's all on me to like get sleep and not fucking,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: you know, uh, you know, smoke too much at night
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: and blow my pipes out. But it's like, it's on you, dude.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: And it's really, uh, to go out of your way
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: to like, you know what I'm saying? People like that,
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, you're just like, you know, it's, but
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: there are some people that.
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: You said you were going to give us four or five?
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, you want me to give them to you? Oh, this,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: you guys get this from Bert. Bert loves it. Chrysler
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: to talk shit about comics. It's always like, who do
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: you hate? Who do you hate? Bert's the fuck, bro.
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: You're doing this podcast exactly like Bert does it too.
• 41:04
  Speaker 6: Will and I will say 15 words the whole time.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: No, you enjoy it.
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: We enjoy this.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: People hate when Bert do that, right?
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: No, people on the internet do, but I love it personally. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Bert is the man.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: People can talk shit all they want. That's got to be.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: Bert's story. I mean, dude, when you've lived a cool
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: life like Bert has, don't you want to hear him
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: tell all these stories and like brains and thought? Like
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: he's done it.
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: And he genuinely loves it too.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you, dude. What a challenge. I look at him
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: too and I just told him this when I saw
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: him a little bit ago. like the fully loaded thing
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: was wild, dude. I did about four dates on it.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Bring in using your namesake and what you've created to
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: bring together people that like, don't ever get to hang
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: out and, and be on the road and make some
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: cash and do some shows. And like what? And like,
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: it was so fun, dude. And not, and, and everybody
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: is so in their lane trying to do their own shit.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: So that's why it's cool when people kind of, you know,
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: expand something like that to go, let me, Let me, let's,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: you know, again, like just throwing darts and trying to create.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's always coming up with ideas, dude. That's pretty,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: pretty cool.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: So who do you hate?
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Dude, Sherman is looking at me a little too much.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Sherman actually, he's people in the bus.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Close your eyes and your mouth, dude. Whoa, that was
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: fucking quick. He's been beaten to submission. I love you.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: He's been beaten to submission. The reason why I brought that,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: I even said Dane Cook in the beginning is middle
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: school Taylor. was all about Dane Cook. I think all
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: of us went through a big Dane Cook phase. But
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: you start to see these clips, like Dave Chappelle had
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: one where he was doing something, and like, hey, only
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: do a hard 10, because this is Dane's night. And
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: then at the end of the 10, he's like, hey,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: I don't usually do this, but I'm going to do
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: a meet and greet after. And the whole place left,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: and Dane's night was ruined.
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: So you kind of hear these stories about Dane Cook
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: kind of.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Being a certain way. I don't know if you've had
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: any experiences like that, but personally, I'm a fan.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Dane... you know, I was a huge
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: fan of his when I came up. Like there are
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: certain people, you know, Eddie Murphy was the first, Delirious
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: was the first standup I saw when I go, oh man,
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: that looks so fun. You know, Sinbad was the first
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: standup I remember watching with my dad showed me where
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, dude, this is fucking hilarious. What is that?
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: What is this guy? Like, I didn't know what standup was.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Delirious made me kind of want to do it. And then, yeah,
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I got, I listened to, I think Vicious Circle and
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: then got to LA and then was like, you know,
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: at the laugh factory doing open mics. And then I'd
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: get on shows that he was on and then he'd
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: get to know me and then did a few dates
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: with him. And like, he's an intense guy, you know, uh,
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: for sure. Um, I, he, you know, he definitely, it's not,
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: everybody has that bug in them to want to like,
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: and this is not an essential requirement of comedy, but
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: like being again, kind and hanging out goes a long way.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: And some people just don't, I think he also got
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: so big, so quick. He skipped comedy clubs. He went
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: from like doing his spots as far as like headlining,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: like doing a weekend at Zany's. He never did because
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: he went right to theaters and colleges and was like
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: making bank and then college theaters to arenas or theaters.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, so, so he kind of skipped
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: a step as far as being able to connect and
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: be around and have the hang.
• 44:14
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: But then I'll say too, like, as I got to
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: know him, he wasn't, doing it even when he was
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: still big so it's like and now i think he
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: yeah and again that's not a knock it's just some
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: people and he's talked about being socially uh you know
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: ridden with anxiety or whatever so i you know very
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: uh understanding of uh of that.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: Fight it's a fight with those the.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Attention to detail in here is uh what if sherman
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: was just a fucking robot dude you're like yeah we
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: got a halloween robot from cbs he might be Sure, dude.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Could you look at me under that hat a little
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: bit more like you're not going to stab me in
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: my cock when I sleep tonight? Oh, tongue out, Jordan style.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: I just watched The Last Dance again, too. And, yeah,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: so there's no, you know, it's not required to have
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: to be a chum to everybody. But, like, it does,
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, dude, I'm not that way where I can
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: just come in and go. Even at comedy clubs, you know,
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: I walked into this club in Naples, and it's got
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: a huge staff. It's got big menus, a lot of
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: moon parts, but probably 30 people moving and shaking in
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: the kitchen and waiters and bartenders. And I'm walking around.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: I go, what's up? What's up? I give a couple bumps.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: What's your name? Oh, cool. What's your name? What's your name?
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: And I've always done that. Again, even when I was
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: selling fucking 10 tickets, because it feels weird to me
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: to go into a place and just act like they're
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: not there. And then also, when you get to know
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: the staff, then you're like, oh, they have your back
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: a little bit more to make the whole weekend great. Right?
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: So, but some people just don't fucking do that. And
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: it's no, it's not, there's no right or wrong answer.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I only know what I've done, but I, but I
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: don't think he's a bad guy. And I, you know,
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: have had some fun chats with him and, and times
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: where I am like, oh, I, I bet he wishes
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: he would have kicked it more, you know, because who
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: knows where, I mean, he's definitely, he's still, he's still
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: doing big theaters and he's still got all his fans,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: but like.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: Is he really?
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: I did not know that.
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: On a theater tour now, I think, but so again, it's, it's,
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: it's not... I don't know. It goes back to the
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: being kind thing, dude. But again, if people don't... There's
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: some people in our business that they're comfy on stage
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: and they're not comfy off. So if you need to...
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Or you're just like, I'm doing my set and I'm
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: going home because then I'm going to work. But early on,
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: some comics told me that. Fucking hang out a bit.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: So I'd have to strap on the Wolverine claws at
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: fucking 9 a.m. and talk to people from overseas. There
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: was these.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'd talk to, I was in Wolverine costume, Greg Maddox,
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: Dave Matthews, fucking John Stamos. And fucking, I saw Michael
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Jackson walk in there with a fucking sheet with his
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: kids one time. And when I was a New York
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: cop and I blew my whistle and was like, Hey,
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: slow down. You're going too fast. And he fucking just
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: like kind of turned and like, just, you know, I
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: was like, Oh shit. And I just saw a little
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: bit of the face, you know? And, uh, but, uh, yeah, man,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I mean like you guys, it's why people want to
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: come on your guys' show too, man. Cause you're outwardly like,
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: you know, chummy and you got, you want to, you know,
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: you seem inviting.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: You want to have a fun time.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: It matters, man. You know, and if you put up
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: a vibe where you're not doing that, then people aren't
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: going to fuck with you. Right.
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: It seems like you tell a good origin story for
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: your first time you jerked off.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Bro, let's go.
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: Let's take it back.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: And then you were wondering, you were wondering about like
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: the bus and how it started. Our first like 20 episodes.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Today's what? Today's October 8th.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, so September 15th, I was, I sat down, I go,
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: you know what? Now's a good time as any. You know,
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: I've been with this dick for 42 years. Let's fucking
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: see what happens. So it was about three and a
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: half weeks ago.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: The first time?
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: No, dude.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: Of course not. I want to hear young middle.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: School Adam Ray.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Two girls, one cup. You hated the video, but something
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: in you was like.
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: And this is OG Buss. This would always be a
• 48:04
  Speaker 5: staple question.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: It is, yeah. I actually think the first... Well, the
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: first time I remember... I think I got a handjob
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: before I jerked off. Really?
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: Hey, you're kind of the man.
• 48:14
  Speaker 5: Is that cool?
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Dude, that was awesome. I didn't know how that was
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: going to come out or be received.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: You just, you got way cooler in our book.
• 48:20
  Speaker 6: Cause I feel like all of us, I was like
• 48:21
  Speaker 6: 200 in before a girl even looked at me.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Well, look again, like dad, uh, that's my, uh, brother's
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: now a doctor. Uh, I can be good putting hair
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: on his chest. He was so fucked. I showed him
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: family guy when he was seven. He's got an amazing
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: sense of humor now. I mean, it's unbelievable. Dude, show
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: your kids the good shit when they can absorb it. Yeah. But, yeah,
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: I think I was not nervous. It's not like your
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: dad teaches you. It's not like, wow, my dad left,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: so I didn't have a dad to fucking show me
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: how to spank it. No, it was like I just didn't. But, yeah,
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: handshake was probably fucking 13, 14. All right.
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: You've got to be thinking, too, like what's about to
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: happen right now.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Bro, it was wild. I can almost still tap into
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: the feeling of it. It was wild. Yeah. I mean,
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: it's happening hands-free. It was happening then, it's happening now.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that was wild. I don't remember who it was. Crazy, dude.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I actually did think about... Wait, you don't remember who
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: it was? I do.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Because there's certain people you'll look for on Facebook from
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: time to time. Just to kind of... Like, there was
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: a girl in my... How they doing out there?
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: How they doing?
• 49:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: And there was a girl in our fourth, fifth grade
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: split named Jenny Taylor. And she thought she was a cat.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: And she would like... OG. And she would like scratch
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: our teacher, Mrs. McQuay, RIP.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: She would.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: her parents were like she was four foot six or
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: four foot two her parents were like five feet they
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: were like little gnomes her dad had a giant beard
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: they were scientists and they would come in every year
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: and do like a they'd be like has anyone ever
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: can anyone spell riboplasm and we're like dude fuck off
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: dude what is we're in fifth grade dude we're all
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: trying to get hand jobs in eight years you know
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: and uh and so uh but jenny i would look
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: for jenny from time to time Shortly after that, when
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: Facebook popped off, and I was like, dude, where? No trace.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: But Facebook's good for that, to find the.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Old people that got you here.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: The old flings. The old flings, yeah. What about you guys?
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I think you've already talked about this, your first time.
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, mine was in my bathroom, on my toilet. Or
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: was it in the shower? I think that might have
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: been the second time. That's when I experienced shampoo, my
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: second time.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Very young in the game. Boy, that is a bold move.
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you find out the wrong way. The hard way.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: That's like watching a movie with subtitles on.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: You're just like, dude, this is not the way it's
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: supposed to be enjoyed.
• 50:37
  Speaker 5: But my foot would start, my foot started shaking and
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: my toes started pointing when it started happening and you're
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: kind of scared for a second. But everything is like,
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: oh shit, how do I do that again? And then
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: the second time around, I thought I was doing it,
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: but then I just started peeing. I'm like, okay, I
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: wasn't there yet.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: Wow, wait, you were jerking off and pee came out
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: before your turn?
• 50:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, was rocked up and thought I was about to go,
• 50:55
  Speaker 5: but then I realized I just got in the shower
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: and I just started peeing on the wall. But I
• 50:58
  Speaker 5: was like, okay.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: Wait, that's not it. That's not it. I got a
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: lot of questions. Well, how does your body, you're hard,
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: so you're jerking off, and then cum, so pee just
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we got this, and then
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: pee just went out first?
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, no, not pee went out first, and then
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: the cum. That feels like a very weird word. Don't
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: say cum like that.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: Do you understand what I'm asking, though? So you were jerking,
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: you jerked off pee.
• 51:22
  Speaker 5: I was jerking, but then I started peeing, thinking like, okay,
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: it's about to cum again, because again, I had only
• 51:28
  Speaker 5: experienced it one time. It's like, what's happening to my body?
• 51:30
  Speaker 5: I thought it was about to happen again, but I
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: just started peeing naturally. Because I was in the shower.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Did you think you're, did you know, you can obviously
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: differentiate between the feelings of coming and peeing, right? Right, right.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: So you weren't, you weren't jerking off going like, fuck dude,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: how am I going to tell my friends my piss
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: has come? Like, you know what I'm saying?
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: No, no, I just, I realized like, oh, I'm just
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: being like, I just got to keep going. That's when
• 51:50
  Speaker 5: I grabbed the shampoo, learned the hard way.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you were like, my dick isn't respecting what
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: I'm doing. It's like, dude, we're just going to pee
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: at this point until you step up to the streets
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: and treat us like a lady.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Just a war. It is hard finding out. For me,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: you brought up Jared from Subway. I could have easily
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: been a victim of one of those gentlemen.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: For real? You're a cute kid.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: I didn't think as a child that you could do
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: it yourself. I thought a girl had to do it
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: for you. Otherwise, it just would not happen. So I
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: actually was at my grandparents' house and I was in
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: chat rooms.
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: Getting advice.
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: Oh my God.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: And then, and then nothing happened there. Nothing happened there.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: But then I was in a, on my school bus
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: and I heard these like eighth graders talking in the back,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: how they're jerking off a bunch. And I'm thinking, Oh
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: fuck you. Like you can really do this yourself.
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: So I like went to my mom's apartment, popped all
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: in the lime wire, And just started- LimeWire. LimeWire, FrostWire.
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: Shout out LimeWire.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: All just giving my computer AIDS. And slowly just- Bro, every-
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: It was like a- Great logo. You know now, if
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: you want to get it done, you can do it
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: under a minute for yourself. No problem. For me, I
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: kind of made a night out of it. I was
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: just kind of tugging on it and figuring out what
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: was going on. Then literally my right leg started seizing,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: and then my left leg. And then it was just like,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: I got panicked. I yelled my mom. I yelled for mom.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: And then I- ended up all over the keyboard.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: It was the greatest to this day.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: To this day.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll never... What's the longest you guys have gone?
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: Jerking it? Yeah.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: You're talking about a solid goon sesh.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, did you think I meant like how long did you.
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: Are you talking about like, are we edging in this situation?
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: Or are you just saying how long we got abstained from.
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: Let me rephrase.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Let's unpack this entire thing. We need more better questions.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: Which one of the cameras on this time? Let's record
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: this for real. Yeah, okay. Let's start the show right now. Three, two, one. How,
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: what's the longest you've gone without masturbating? Week, months. Yeah, months.
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, months.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: On purpose.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: I went through a football season. I went through a
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: football season in college. I was like, I'm going to
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: keep all this pent up.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: Senior year.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Makes the legs weak.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: Did it have an impact?
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: No.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I learned it for that season. I
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: was like, I'll never do that again. Because you just
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: get mad.
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: That's me in college. I want to say they debunked
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: that myth.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: Wow, dude.
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: Look at you.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: One of the schools I wanted to go to, USC. USC.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Fuck, dude.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: USC, Texas, or LSU were like my three schools I wanted.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: That consolation prize, right? Yeah, yeah.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: No, it ended up working out, and I'm happy I
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: went to Michigan.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Where?
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: I went to an all-star camp and met Pete Carroll,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: and I was crushing. And then they brought Pete Carroll over.
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: USC was the spot.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: And the offensive line coach called Pete Carroll over during one-on-ones.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, fuck, it's about to happen.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Because this kid named Kevin Graff actually got offered. And
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, I might be the next one. Got
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: dusted in two one-on-ones. Rolled my ankle. And I was
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: kind of on the ground. And I look up at
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: Pete Carroll and he looks over at the O-line coach
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: and he goes, and walked away.
• 54:38
  Speaker 5: Get the fuck out of here, dude.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: That was the end of that.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: You saw him do that?
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I saw him do that. I either saw it or
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: I dreamt it, one of the two, but it definitely
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: felt real to me in that moment.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: That's shitty, dude, because it's like, you know, to have
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: one moment like, I know, fuck, dude, yeah, you would
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: have loved to do it.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: And like two years after I was at Michigan, that's
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: when Will Ferrell was doing all his skits.
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Will Snoop and I heard that Pete would
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: bring all these celebs to practice because he was like,
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: He's like, it's the same thing when guys have, when
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: there's pretty girls there that like, you just, nobody wants
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: to fuck up. Yeah. So he's like, I'm going to
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: bring all these like studs around so that people like
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: try hard. I mean, not that they weren't anyway, but
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: he was like, why don't we, we have the advantage
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: of having, and they want to be there. So.
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: Why not make it as competitive as possible?
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: No fucking doubt. And so did you, are you, What's
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: your association with Seattle? Pete Carroll went there or you
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: lived there?
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: So I grew up there from, yeah, born and raised.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Because you said something about living in Arizona too, in Glendale.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just went there for a couple summers with
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: my dad.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: And then you said something about Nevada as well.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: Nevada, my dad, that was where he moved around to.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: Gotcha, gotcha.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: So grew up in Seattle, moved to LA, the Fenton, yeah.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: And 2001 went to LA to go to college and
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: then I've just been out there since. So graduated in 05,
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: started staying up in 2007. And then, but Pete went
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: to Seattle. So that's why it was such a big
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, a lot of SC people were bummed.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: They were like, he's slipping out the back door, fucking whatever.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: You know, the timing was wild, but also he wanted a.
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: Perfect move.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: Perfect move. You got to make those moves.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: I think... I don't want to say I don't think
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: he knew what was going on, but I think... I mean,
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: he's a fucking rock star of a human. So whether
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: he knew or was like, I don't want to know,
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: but the opportunity was... The timing makes it look bad because...
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: He wanted that type of a situation as far as like,
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: you know, president and then like, you know, like where
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: he could have a lot of say in control of
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: the team. He wanted to go somewhere where he could
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: really run the show. And so how about that? He
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: could go two hours north and it was awesome, dude.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, right away. And, you know, I went with
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: Bert when he played Climate Pledge at Seattle Arena. He
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: hit me up and was like, do you want to
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: come do Seattle? We're going to go to the Seahawks
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: camp the day before. and it was unreal dude and
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: it's like we got to catch punts and talk to
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: pete and this was about three months uh before he
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: got fired because the season was almost half was halfway
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: through we were i think six and two or five
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: and one to start that year and then you know
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: i just went south and that was a wrap but
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: and uh i got to know john schneider of the
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: seahawks gm at that time and we he came to
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: the show that night we drank till 4 a.m and
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: then i got on a flight and went to do
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: a Shows in Savannah, Georgia with my buddy Sal from
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: the Jokers at like 6 a.m. and fucking leaving Schneider.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: And he's like, just crashing my house, man, which I
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: have now done. Schneider and I are now fucking boys.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: And Bert fucking put that together. I'm going to go
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: speak to the team, I think, as Dr. Phil in December.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, he just is a savvy fucking
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: football guy and throws them back, dude.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: That is awesome.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: And so we toured the whole thing and Dr. Gino
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: and DK. And it was awesome. And it was all,
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: you know, Bert's generosity. But Pete was so cool, man.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: And he was, it was just wild to see him
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: so in his element, like dancing around practice. And then
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: you're like, dude, and now, and then just gone.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: And then you realize he's 70. Like he's so old.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: There's no signs of his age, but. Yeah, because he's out.
• 58:02
  Speaker 5: There and rips it around too at practice.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: Rips it around. I heard he was like, he'd be
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: in team meetings, like get the basketball hoop out and
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: the basketball, like just have fun.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: And that's what's interesting about like his coaching style was,
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: Now Mike McDonald is such a militant, like, we have
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: a job. Here's what you're doing. I mean, I guess
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: he's still keeping things light because he's got to. But
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: none of this shit anymore. None of the basketball during meetings.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: And it sucks because these guys that would like, when
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: Sherman started talking shit about Pete, they didn't pay him.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: They let him go. And it was like, fuck, man,
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: you got paid twice, maybe three times. They drafted you deep.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: you fucking, they gave you full-on opportunities like probably other
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: organizations wouldn't have, but I don't know. I mean, it just, something,
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: an approach like Pete that he had, I think, obviously,
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: was going to run its toll.
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, you tell me.
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: But also, give the ball to Marshawn Lynch at the
• 58:55
  Speaker 5: goal line. Yeah, dude.
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: Bro. That, it's wild that, dude, I'll never, I think
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: time does heal a little bit, but like, that'll that'll
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: be my, the Sonics, again, you're not big basketball guys,
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: but the Sonics in 94 were the best team in basketball.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: And Jordan was retired at the time. And we were
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: like number one seed in the West. And we were
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: playing the eight seed Denver Nuggets. And then it was
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: when Mutombo RIP fucking, I don't know, famously, they beat
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: us basically in the first round. And he was holding
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: the ball and like clinching it on the ground, screaming.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: And I fucking cried, dude. Cause basketball was my favorite
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: sport at the time. Uh, when the songs left it fucking,
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: you know, I forgot about it, but, uh, yeah, there
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: it is right there. I pictured, uh, two, two over
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: to the, yeah. Uh, that middle. Yeah. I mean, it
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: was that picture. Like we were just fucking like, cause
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: we were supposed to go to the NBA finals. Jordan
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: was gone. We had the best team. So Marshawn, dude,
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: I went to the super bowl with Brad, with little
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: Brad Williams. He's a Broncos fan. Our teams were pretty
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: hot at the start of the season. We were like,
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: if we go, we got to go. So we scheduled
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: shows out there. Got tickets on StubHub, went. Fucking, it
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: was unbelievable. Like, at one point, you know, it was,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: I think, what, 22 to nothing, I think, at half.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: And Brad's like, dude, we're just, we're fine. We just
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: got to get points. One score back into this. Percy
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: runs it back. I have a picture of me. I'm
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: not sure if I posted it, of me going like
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: this because Brad's, like, fucking, like, looking out at the
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: field so sad. And so I take a picture of
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: me going like, with Brad being sad. And I text
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: it to him during the game. Cause that was 29, nothing.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: And he goes, you know, if a dwarf cries at
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: the super bowl, everybody gets AIDS. Right. And I was like, and, uh,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: it's just so funny. And then the next year I
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: was like, all right, tickets are too expensive. They were wild.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: I think we ended up getting stuff up. They dropped
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: to like 1200, I think. And, uh, for the AZ game,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: it was like no ticket went below, I don't know, six, seven,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: eight hotel, a holiday and express was like two grand
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: a night. And, uh, and so my, I went to Seattle,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: drove my dad up from Oregon where he was living and,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: And my buddy's condo, we were in like the main,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: the common room, like, you know, two floors up. And
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: about 50 people, big ass party. We were like, dude,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: I want to be in Seattle because I want to
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: party in the streets when we win the Super Bowl.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: It was pretty confident. You never know. But like, we
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: just felt fucking good, dude. We're like, Legion of Boom.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: Legion of Boom. And we were injured as fuck, dude.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: As I've got to know some Hawks, like, dude, Sherman
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: in that game against the Packers that we, I mean,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: how do you win that? Had, you know, a dislocated,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: I think, elbow or hyperextended elbow. uh cam uh chancellor
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: had fucked up knees earl thomas had some rib shit
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: jeremy lane ends up breaking his arm after he picked
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: brady like two plays later so like we were depleted
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: dude and uh but then we're up 10 and then
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: you're like fuck dude and then that catch by curse
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: they do a cutaway to david tyree against the pats
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: back in the day which was like so you know
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: um awesome because you're like oh cool they're kind of
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: being like dude the patch just can't catch a break
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: man cool catch after cool catch And I'm sitting there
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: with my dad and again, 50 people in there. We're
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: having a fucking amazing time. Everyone's being like, you know,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: I had to do this voiceover job the next morning
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: and I texted one of the producers. I was like, dude,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: is there any way we can push this session to,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: to one instead of 10? Because I'm going to be
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: out of my mind tonight. Like I'm going to be
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: in the streets of my fucking hometown with my, with
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: my best buds and like wild dude. And Marshawn runs
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: the ball up and get stopped. And I, my stomach,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not even joking. You just fucking drops, dude. He
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: gets stopped at the one. And I was like, I go, Oh,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: my dad goes, what? I go, I don't know, man.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: I feel like we needed to get it on that one.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: He goes, what does that mean? And I go, I
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: don't know, man, but fuck dude. Cause he was going
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: dude and just tripped up, man. And it just was
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: like one of those things where I, I didn't see
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: that happening, but you know what I'm saying? We were
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: just like, it, it felt like, fuck, we're just, we're stretched. We're,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: we're continuing the opportunities for something to go wrong. And, uh,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: And look, even if you give it to him... Yeah,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: there it is, dude. I mean, tripped the fuck up.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: Right there.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: And whether you give it to him three times and
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: you don't get it, a lot of people say, like,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: you live with that. And here's the thing, dude. That play,
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: they've done... Russ, that was the worst pass, dude. You
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: throw that shit low, dude. Right?
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: You throw that shit low, dude.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: If we're talking about don't.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to throw it high, for sure.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: You saw the Thursday night game last night.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. I mean, but that is.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: And again, getting to know some Hawks and what they've
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: told me about, they go, that ended it, dude. That
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: broke the locker room, dude. Doug Baldwin told me, he goes,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: if we won that, he goes, we were so tight.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: He goes, we were so tight, dude. And you had
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: all these guys. I mean, they'd only paid a few guys.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: They had so many young D players on their rookie contracts,
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: which is why we, you know, that's what. the luck
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: of the draw, right? You get these groups where you're like, fuck, dude,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: we got beasts for a while for free. And Doug
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: was like, dude, we were all like, oh, if we
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: win this, we're running it back. We're winning three. And
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: he's like, there was no doubt in our mind. He's like,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: there's no doubt in our mind we were going to
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: win the Denver one. No one picked us. And that
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: first snap, you know, goes over Peyton's head and then
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: everybody goes nuts. And it was like, and even I
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: saw so much orange in New York City. And then
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: when that snap went over Peyton's head in New York
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: against Denver, the whole stadium went nuts and we were like,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: oh shit, like Seattle traveled for this. But he said
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: that broke the locker room. And it was like, nobody
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: trusted Pete and Russ and everyone. Like there was one play. Yeah, dude.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: Isn't that wild?
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. Yeah.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: And, and, and, and they're just, you know, not doing
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: your job. Like everybody's like, dude, Marshawn, I think I
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: saw him on some pot. He was like, you just
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: want to be able to do your job and help
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: the team. And I was like, and you didn't let
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: me do that. Like, you know, like that's, that's what
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: I was there for.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: Literally, one yard. You can just tell part of Adam died.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: Part of him died that.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 5: Day, yeah.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, so, and just to, I guess, fill in the
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: blanks on how sad that was, because every Seattle sports
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: fan has their own version of like, you know, and like,
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: now you can talk about it, whatever, but like, without crying,
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'll cry when I get off the bus
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: for sure, but all 50 people that were in this room, bro,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: I had friends I hadn't seen in probably eight years,
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: good friends. How good are they? I haven't seen them
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: in eight years, but, you know, we talk a lot,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: and didn't even say goodbye. Just fucking everybody left. I'm
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: not even joking. I, one of my best friends has said, Oh, up,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't going to see him for another
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: four or five months. No turning around. Like, dude, what
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: the fuck? Uh, I'll call you later.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: None of that.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: Just, he peaced out. I turned around at one point,
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: he was just gone. And then I look over my
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: dad and he's like, he was just like, he was like,
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: he looked so, he was just like so much guilt.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: I was just like, You feeling bad for cheating on mom?
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: He's like, no, the game. I was like, oh, shit, okay.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: But it was a similar type of like, I can't believe.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a grown man so bewildered. And I
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: don't use that word too often. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Because he was just like, you couldn't believe it. And
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: the split second. That's why sports are awesome. I don't
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: get how people don't like sports. But you got to
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: take the good and the bad. And here's the thing.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: It's like, that was such a... I was in Seattle
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: the next day in Sports Radio and it was a dark,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: gloomy day, dude. And it was like sports radio. It
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: was sad, dude.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: Whispering over the radio.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: Everywhere I went, like a coffee shop, a fucking brothel,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: a KFC Taco Bell combo glory hole. Everywhere I went,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: everyone was just like, bumming, dude. Isn't that wild?
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy. That's sports.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: That's what it is.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: Do you have an equivalent in any career.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 5: I mean, we got destroyed in the Big Ten Championship
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: against Wisconsin.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, I knew you were going to bring that up.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: I mean, we got destroyed. They hung over 70 on us.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 5: Three different running backs ran for like 200 yards. It
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 5: was like Melvin Gordon, James White, Monty Ball. That was
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 5: our senior year. We had seven fourth quarter comebacks that year.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 5: We were 10-2 going into that game. And Ohio State
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 5: was banned that year for the tattoo stuff. I want
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 5: to say Penn State. They were in trouble that year.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 5: This was when it was happening. We played that week
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 5: that the Sandusky stuff all came out. We went to
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 5: Penn State and played. But Wisconsin was like the third
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 5: team in that division. And we beat them earlier in
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 5: that season. They hung 70 on us, bro. And that
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: was like, yeah, you were.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: I was at that game.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Bro, that's like demoralizing. Yeah, we were.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we got killed. Look at that. 42 in the
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 5: first half.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: You're getting beat 42 to 10 in the, at halftime.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 5: It's like, what do you even say in the locker room?
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's not insurmountable, but it's, it's, it's, it's,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, you guys tell me, I mean.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: I know 42 to 10, you know, the game's over.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 5: You ask what kind of memory takes you to a
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: spot like that. Like I think of that game.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: So I only played football up until sophomore high school.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: I was offensive, uh, and defensive line. And, you know,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: so we got to, I had to play a few, um,
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: you know, JV, but like, and we suited up freshmen
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: for a varsity game that they like, you know, destroyed.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: So we went in at the end just to fucking,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: you know, get some reps. Um, but definitely always got
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: to suit up and go to the games and, and was,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: you know, on the sidelines for a game where they
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: got blown out and like, yeah, it felt like people were,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: you know, that was not, you know, what anybody anticipated,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: but like 70 is, Yeah.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: We played Ohio State 2013, I believe it was. And
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: I think the final score was like 42-43 or 42-41.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 5: Fuck.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: And we had the ball last. And our head coach,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: Brady Hoke, goes, hey, when we score, we're going for two.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: We're ending this game. So we go down and we
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: score and we went for two. And our quarterback threw
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: it right to the defense and it was over.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 5: Brutal.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: What the fuck, dude?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: That was one of those like straight back to the
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: house games. Case of Ham's Light. Just pound them as
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: fast as you possibly can.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 5: A full Papa John's pizza.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: Numb the pain. Yeah, eat emotionally. It's a horrible feeling.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 5: Close the blinds.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a big fist fight that game too.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: One Ohio State guy got ejected.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: How close is the football locker room on a whole?
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: Is it clicky like anything?
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it can get clicky. It just kind of depends
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: on what kind of team you have. What kind of
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 5: year you're having.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: College has over 100 people on that football team.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: 100 players.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: So there's no way you know everybody. No, you know everyone.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: But it's like, there's definitely like tiers. Like people, it's
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: high school.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: Quarterback, offensive line. I mean, like, right.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like the offensive line always, the offensive line traditionally
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: is like the best group of guys to be around.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: They're the most humble. They hang out. Like they're more
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: down to earth cats. It's great to be around. but
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: you do have these pockets everywhere. And you're just hoping
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: for a Will Compton, like a gatekeeper, to kind of
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: bring everybody together. A Ben Jones, who is our center
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: for the Titans.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: He is like, those are the guys you want around
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: because then he just like brings you from each clique
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: to each clique and kind of brings the team together.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: Let's go.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: It's a nice little deal.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to the Titans game on Sunday.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: How do you feel about it? Colts?
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: Um, I mean, I haven't been following either. I mean, Flacco.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: Underdogs by one. You can see Flacco live. That's kind
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: of terrifying. That's like seeing Jordan on the Wizards.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 5: He just threw for 350 and three touchdowns.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: I know, but they lost, right?
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: To the Jags.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 5: Either way, it's like Flacco's out there dealing.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: They lost to the Giants?
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: No, they lost to the Jags. The Colts lost to
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: the Jags. But Flacco, man, doesn't get enough credit.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: Doesn't?
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: Does not.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: Won the Super Bowl with the Ravens, right?
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, with the Ravens. Speaking of the Ravens, that's obviously,
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: you know, Stavros.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: Dude, his clips on the Ravens, every game. So he
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: does a thing on Instagram. Every single win or loss,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: he does a whole video. He has a big Joe
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: Flacco guy. He's so fucking funny. Have you seen these?
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: Dude, you got to look it up. We don't obviously
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: have volume, but he does these hilarious videos.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: I know, he's a big sports guy.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: It's awesome.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: Something about Joe Flacco. I love how Lamar can run
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: the ball, but something about.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 5: A pocket passer. Yeah, Ravens just won in overtime, and
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 5: Flacco had a good game, so he was still referring
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 5: to Joe Flacco for 350.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because the Ravens and the Bengals last week went
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: into overtime like... It was a great game, I remember, yeah.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: And at the end, Stavis is like murdering the Bengals.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 5: Who day?
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, who day is one and four?
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just going off on them. Ravens needed that W,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: by the way.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: That's funny, dude. Super funny.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: Another guy I got to know on the Fully Loaded Fest,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: you know, another reason why it's like, and he, I think,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: is going to do one of our Doctor Who Live
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: theater shows. Late night, they had one of the, were
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: we at the Hall of Fame in Canton, I think?
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: And where we were staying, the whole after party where
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: the buses were, had like, uh pool and just all
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: this just a dope hang big you know Bert just
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: goes to the nines with like the post uh show
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: hang and then so Bert and Stavros uh and I
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: are just in the pool just smoking blunts and drinking
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: and just like bullshit and talking comedy and this and
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: that and at some point Bert's like who do you
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: guys hate you know and then uh but so that's
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: where I got to know Stav just like in the
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: pool like that and just you know um but yeah
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: he's I didn't know he's a sports guy that's awesome.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: Has there ever been a guy in comedy? This is
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: kind of a dumb, cheeky question, but has there ever
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: been a guy in comedy that you thought, I'm not
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: going to like this guy just based off his comedy?
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: And you meet him and you're like, I fucking love
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: this guy.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: I'm sure. Because everybody's judged a book by its cover.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: No question. But I've also asked you who you hate,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: so I'd rather switch it up and ask you who
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: you like.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Well, I mean, let me give you... Who
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: did I think I not was going to like and
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: then did? Well... Not that I was going to like,
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: but when I.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: Todd Berry is super quiet and shy. You know who
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: Todd Berry is?
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: I do not, but it turns out I pull him
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: up right now.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, he's just a fucking super funny comic.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: Just real quiet and shy and kind of like snarky
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: and snappy. And he's just one of the nicest guys.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: But yeah, he's fucking hilarious.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 5: He kind of looks like Rich Eisen.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: Professor Xavier. Yeah.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: Who do I like? Dude, I mean, Santino has been
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: my boy since we both started.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: Santino is so funny. Santino is hilarious.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: One of the best, dude.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: We did Bad Friends.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: You did.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: It's my favorite podcast we've ever done.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: I totally am not going to say why. Yeah. There's
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: another way for me to say that. Name quicker.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: But yeah.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: Agreed. Yeah.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's solid.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: And his clips too with the, what's her name?
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: Bobby.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 5: What's her last name?
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: Bobby.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 5: The clips that were going around with him and her
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 5: on the golf course.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, Altaf or whatever.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he crushed that. Yeah, Bobby is, it's so funny
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: when they, Bobby's the first guy I went on the
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: road with for about three years and opened for, and
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: really just showed me how you're supposed to be as
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: a headliner and just was so generous and funny. And
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: then he was like, I think me and Andrew are
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: going to start a podcast. I was like, oh God.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: I was like, get ready to fucking buy a second house.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, you just knew their energies together.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, they murdered. They had like a million subscribers before
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: like a hundred episodes.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: Just murderous and Bobby and they both had kind of
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: significant followings and then just mashing them together.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: Was Bobby on Mad TV back in the day.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: It was unbelievable unreal he does not get enough credit
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: for that it's so long ago and he's now like
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: in this new phase of his career but like and
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: he still gets love from that I think people still
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: they're still fans yeah totally but yeah he was a
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: brilliant sketch actor dude.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Will Sasso.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 5: Unreal.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: Was it Mike McDonald? Was that his name too? Did Stewart?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: Just texting with him yesterday.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: Dude.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: Mike is unbelievable, dude.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: When I would go home, there would either be Comedy
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: Central on and that should be playing or CMT with
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: Dukes of Hazzard.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: Those are the two things that are always on.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: Bro, yeah.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: And I thought that shit was so... I thought it
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: rivaled SNL, honestly.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 5: 1,000.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 2: I was an In Living Color guy. That was like
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: what really... With Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: No, never seen.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: You never watched In Living Color?
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 5: Never watched it.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: Pull that shit up.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: Pull it up, yeah.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: This was a Fox sketch show that came on after
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: The Simpsons. and I think it was maybe pre-Mad TV. Dude,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: it's Jamie Foxx, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans, Keenan Ivory, look
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: at that, David Alan Greer, Tommy Davidson. Bro, look into it.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: Holy shit.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: Funny.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: That was what made Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: Dude, yeah, that's the kind of shit.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: There's a character he did named.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: Vera DeMilo, and she was a workout girl.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: And she'd go, and Jim Carrey, flexible as fuck, fire
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: Marshall Bill. Let me show you something. He'd do this character,
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: he'd go, fire prevention safety. And so he'd go like,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: let's just say every sketch was like, let's just say
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: you're going into the kitchen. You want to make a,
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: a piece of toast.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: You put the piece of bread in and the electrical
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: surge goes off.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden he's just burning, like
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: his hands just on fire. He goes, so you call
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: the police. They don't pick up because who knows what
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: the fuck they're doing, you know? And then he's just,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: every sketch, he just, it burns to death basically. Um,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: and gets all, he's just got third degree burns and
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: it's hilarious.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Um, Dude, I love Jim Carrey.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Santino. It's my boy, Harland Williams. You guys know Harland?
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 5: Do not.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: Funny dude, man. You know, Half-Baked, something about Mary.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: But you guys probably dig comics that like sports, right?
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: Is that kind of the prerequisite to be on the show?
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 5: No, not at all.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: Not at all. We're obviously big into sports and stuff
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: like that, but just talking to comics in general, like
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: you starting the show and just talking about flexing the
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: creative muscle, your creativity, the way you get in all
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: that stuff, like all that's fascinating.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: So it's awesome to hear those types of things.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: It's a, Who's this guy?
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: William Montgomery.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: William Montgomery.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: He's always on Kill Tony? Yeah. What is he like
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: in person?
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 7: Is he pretty much just what he is on stage? Yeah.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's pretty mellow offstage, actually. Yeah, he's kind of... Yeah,
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 2: he's pretty mellow.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: Who's the cat that's always pacing?
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: It's a heightened character, I think, for the stage, for sure.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: But he's a pretty sweet guy. Say it again?
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: Who's the guy that's always pacing around and he rambles
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: the entire time on Kill Tony?
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, Casey Rockett.
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: Casey Rockett?
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: What's his gig? What's he, is he the same guy off?
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: No, pretty chill. I mean, a little, I mean, every,
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: this is the thing, man. It's like people like, you know, young,
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: it's like, you just want to find finding having a
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: thing on stage, you know, it's, and writing your voice
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: is such, it just does take time. But, but that
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 2: is a version of who they are for sure. I mean,
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 2: but not everybody is, you know, I mean, I would
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: hear that Robin Williams was that way on and off stage,
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: you know, Um, who was fucking my guy growing up
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: for sure. Um, but yeah, Cam's a beast. What, what
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: do you guys consume? I guess like, or when you
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: were playing, like what was like the, cause you know,
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: getting to know a bunch of athletes now it's wild.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: How many, when I was in Minnesota, a bunch of
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: the Vikings came out cause they were all Tony fans
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: or fan of my Phil shit. Uh, and, uh, and
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: so my, and they're like, Oh yeah, we watch it
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: all the time during like what? And I'm like, so
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: what's your, Like, what would you guys watch during, I
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: don't know, bus trips or flights or whatever? Comedy-wise.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: What would you get down to?
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 5: Film, bro.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: It's just always in the lab.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: The season is a wild deal. It's hard.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: You have no downtime, huh?
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: Well, there's downtime, but there's always this delusion in you
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: that's like, how can I just be 1% better? Always.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 5: Or in my free time, I'd be like, we had
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 5: a Madden League going on in the locker room, so
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 5: we'd just be playing video games.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: We always on bait on Nintendo 64.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: It's got to decompress somehow.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: And that was always like, we were actually talking about
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: streaming today and it's like my like game. I don't
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: know if you're a gamer at all, but like I
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: was big into N64 and then really after that, it
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: kind of shut down. I dipped in my toe in
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: Halo a little bit and other games, but like, That was,
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: we actually brought that back 2018 when Will came to
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: the Titans.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: We had the N64 hooked up and between every, between
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: practice and meetings, it was like, get dressed as fast
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: as possible.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 2: Let's go.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: Play as many games as you can. That was definitely
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: our big thing.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: Did you guys bond right away when you met?
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: That's where you met. Yeah. On the Titans.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: There was a, we, we played against each other in college.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: And then when you were at the Redskins, we played my,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: my second year, your third year, 2015.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 5: No, that was my, it was my second year.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 5: Because by the time we crossed paths on the Titans,
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 5: like that was my second start.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: Got you.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: But when you played against each other, you didn't like,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: you know, did you chat like post-game?
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 5: Oh, it'd be like, hey, good to see you out here.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 5: Like a couple of white boys just surviving.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: Right. And you always remember a white guy named Compton.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: Like you always remember that. Anytime you kind of go past.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: But when he, when Will was a free agent, he
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: came to the Titans. There was either a tweet or
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: an article. I can't remember. I always say article, but
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: I might be wrong. That was like, based on Will
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: Compton's social media and Taylor just in the media and
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: the antics he does, they're going to be best friends.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: Whoa.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 5: And then I saw Taylor get a little gay cup
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 5: of coffee and then we bonded over something.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hazelnut.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 5: I got a hazelnut coffee. And I was like, you
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 5: drink flavored coffee?
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: And I was so defeated, I poured it out right there.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: I was just trying to make such a good first impression.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: You're going to hate when you see my flavored loosies.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: Too soon. Wait, that's cool that the media basically announced
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 2: your friendship before you found it.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then, yeah, OTP was the first podcast we
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: did was the official Titans podcast. Like they were just
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: kind of starting it and they wanted me on. I
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm bringing Will. It was like, what a
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: weekend to know each other. Yeah. So we just got.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 5: On the team.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: Cool. We would have this thing called breakfast. Yeah, man.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 1: We'd have a thing called breakfast club. It'd be me,
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: Will and Mike Campanaro. And Mike was also new to
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: the Titans. And we were, they were all laughing about something.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: And I was like, Hey, I want to laugh. What
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: are we talking about? And we would just talk about podcasts,
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: like congratulations, Theo Vons, Rogan, obviously Rogan.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of you guys, man.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 2: My principal was a raccoon now. That's my theory.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 5: That's your theory.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: What a unique individual, by the way.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: Bro, another guy I've known since I started comedy, since
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: he started. And always so, always so funny. Same guy.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's definitely become more of a caricature, character.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, he just leaned heavy into, but it's who
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: he is.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: And like when he says wild shit like that, like, man,
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: he and I, he'll never forget this. We talked about
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: this last time I saw him where, We were in
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: San Diego at the La Jolla Comedy Store together, and
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: we were at breakfast, he and myself and a comedian
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: Francisco Ramos, and the waiter came by and was being
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: kind of a dick, and Theo was like, man, we
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: got a classic dick breakfast over here. And when we
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: all started laughing, I go, dick breakfast, dude, great name
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: for a fucking detective from the 80s that just, whatever.
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: And then we just started riffing and ranting on this
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: guy's story. And then for about two months, we outlined
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: a movie about Dick breakfast.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: No shit.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: It's out there somewhere. I mean, in our emails, but like,
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: we were all about it. And then he, you know, and, uh,
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: but you know, no surprise, dude. And again, sweet, nice
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: guy to everybody. Uh, and arguably get some of the,
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, bad friends are getting some pretty cool podcasts,
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: you know, with Jack black and MGK and stuff. But
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: like Theo's goes from Papa John to fucking Bernie Sanders.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 5: Oh, bro.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Wild.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 5: Um, uh, you know, It's becoming like that Rogan-esque style
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 5: where he's getting these massive names.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just doing it his way.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 5: Just being curious.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: Talking to Trump about cocaine.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: That broke the internet for a day and a half.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 5: Funny, dude.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You brought up a little guest on Bad Friends, MGK.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: You a fan?
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: A huge fan of him.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: That's my genre of music. Jelly Roll and I have
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: got to become good buds and I'm just biding my time.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: That's somebody who's trying to help get me on the
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 2: Phil show because he said getting on Bad Friends was
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: even kind of a you know, a big ass. Cause he's,
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say he's not, he said he
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: wasn't like shy, but he just, you know, hasn't done
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: a lot of that stuff.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: You're talking about MGK. Jelly Roll trying to get MGK on.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: And my wife is obsessed and I'm just like, yeah.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 5: But he's saying that cause Jelly, we're trying to get
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 5: MGK on the bus too.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: But Jelly Roll is.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 5: A prime example of just being kind and just being
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 5: an absolute sweetheart. Yes, 100%.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: It's like, again, dude, and again you go it's it's
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: not it's not tough to fucking be like when people
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: go i can't believe you do all this shit and
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: you're so like you know like he's so nice like
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: yeah dude because he was that way before and he's
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: just now like yeah i get to do more shit
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: and you know and then you have more people to
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: help you balance it out but like he treats everybody
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 2: so kind all his staff and everybody and we went
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: to uh i was in austin i was going to
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: the last uh kill tony and then Uh, had to
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: go to Atlanta on a Thursday and he was in
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: San Antonio on Wednesday. So went down to see a show.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 2: I'd never seen his live show. Just rips. And we're
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 2: back there after smoking dabs, which I have done maybe twice.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: And I am, I mean, bro, it was like, I
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: wish I had the video to pull up, but it
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: was like, you know, I'm good with weed. Dabs are fucking,
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: and he's just hitting them like it's breakfast, dude.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 5: Like it's breakfast. Yeah.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: And just not even affecting them. Like, I mean, uh,
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: but you know, great pipes. His new album drops in,
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: I think, like a week or so.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: It drops on Friday.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, this week. Yeah, Friday.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: So if you're listening to this episode now, Jelly Roll's
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: album is out right now.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, go get it. He sent me a sneak peek.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: It's fire.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's unbelievable, dude. Yeah.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: Dude, he is one of a kind.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 5: He is all time. I had a couple of high
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 5: school buddies that I got. I asked them for tickets
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 5: to their show. And he hooked it up. Like not
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 5: just to, I was like, bro, you can get him nosebleeds.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 5: He's truly like, you can get him some on the outside,
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 5: like just a couple of tickets. He hooks them all up,
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 5: gets them backstage. They're smoking. They're smoking with them. And
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 5: my boys are so hype. Like, bro, Jelly Rolls is
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 5: the coolest dude of all time. And I'm just thinking
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 5: to myself, like, he really is. He's just the nicest dude.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: Made you look so fucking cool to your boys. I
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 2: can't believe it.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: Is there anything more uncomfortable than hit one of your
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: boys up about, you're like boys from back home, be like, hey,
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: could they get tickets to X, Y, and Z? I
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: feel like every time you have to ask for it,
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: Well, I have friends that have, I got certain friends
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 2: that I'm like, dude, that will still pay. And then
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: I get mad and I go, dude, I told you
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 2: you've got And they've gotten free tickets from the whole
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 2: time I've ever been, you know, 17 years or, you know,
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 2: I guess, uh, uh, 11 years of, of headlining. Um, but, uh,
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 2: never paid. And then I've got, uh, friends who have fucking,
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 2: they've just always been like, no, man, I'm support, man.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: This is all your shit. And like good friends. And I, I,
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: I can't stop them because they buy them before. And I,
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 2: cause I'm usually like a couple of days out being like, Oh,
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 2: you're going to come. And they're like, I already got tickets.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, you got to stop doing that. Yeah.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 5: Or they don't talk to you at all. And you
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 5: just see them in the crowd.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, totally.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That'll happen too. But then there's people that like,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, and I have a, you know, if it's
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: a deep cut from high school or somebody I haven't
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: talked to and they send a nice message and they're like,
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: you know, we want to come see, uh, and you know,
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: now I guess with like, you know, the show's being
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: sold this weekend, I just ran into some people at
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 2: the airport and they were like, Oh man, I can't
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: believe it was fucking senior year, man. And we're either
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: going to come see you or see this band on Thursday.
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 2: And I go, well, I'll make it easy for you.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: The show's sold out. And they're like, fuck. And I
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: was like, but I'll get you tickets if you want
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 2: to go, you know, because you always got a few comps,
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 2: you know, that they can squeeze in. And so they're
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 2: going to come to the show. But friends that are
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: like deep cut that I haven't talked to, getting them
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 2: to my show, I'm usually always pretty much happy to oblige. But,
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 2: you know, there's a buddy of mine that's in, do
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: you know who the new kids on the block are? Mm-hmm. Yeah,
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 2: they're a boy band from the 90s. They kind of
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: started the boy band, you know, I guess you could
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 2: go back to the Beatles, but they were in the 90s,
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 2: like the first fucking, you know, Teen Bob Dolls fucking, yeah, dude,
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, these guys, they paved the way for NSYNC,
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 2: Bad Street Boys, all that shit in the 90s, and
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 2: all from Boston. Donnie Wahlberg, that's Mark Wahlberg's brother on
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 2: the far second from the left. And my buddy, Joey McIntyre,
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 2: who's to the right of the guy in the blue,
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 2: was in this movie, The Heat, with me, with Sandra
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 2: Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. And so I got to know
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 2: him real well. And so all girls that are like
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 2: in their thirties and forties are obsessed with these guys.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 2: Cause they were kids when they came up, you know?
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 2: And so, uh, uh, once I started kind of doing
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 2: stuff with them and then I'd open for them on
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 2: some shows and then like, then their fans were just
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: rabid would kind of jump on you. And then Joey
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 2: did a curb style show where I played his manager. And, uh,
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: and so then when people knew I was friends with them,
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: I'd have all these buddies of mine hitting me up
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 2: for tickets for their wives and people that like, I,
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: Not even like having talked to you in 10 years.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 2: We were at school together, you know?
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 2: Better just like, but then they hit with like a
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 2: long like, dude, congrats on everything, man. You're really going
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 2: for it, dude. I always knew you would. I'm like,
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 2: I think you called me a homophobic slur with an
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 2: F when I quit football to play Danny Zuko in Greece.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: But like, good to hear from you, Josh, you know?
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: And there it is.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 1: Shout out, Josh.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so sophomore year of high school, I was
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: going to start varsity as a sophomore. I was sophomore
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 2: captain because the offensive lineman. Nice flex. I'm just trying
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 2: to fill out the story for you.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: It's solid.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 2: But I, well, I was fucking lived. I was doing
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 2: all the shit and I was, and football was fun,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 2: but it was not, I knew I was not at
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: six one and a Jew going to go pro. And I, um, and, uh, so,
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 2: but so, and then the play came along and I
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, that always was fun. And basketball was
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 2: kind of my more sport anyway. And, uh, but the
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 2: offensive lineman above me got injured. So the coach is like, dude,
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 2: you're sophomore captain and you're starting varsity. Cause you're fucking.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 2: And I was just like anything, man. I just was
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 2: all in, you know, all the camps and the fucking weight.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 2: I was just all in for football. And cause you
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 2: don't want to half-ass it. And, and then I had
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 2: to go in and tell him basically, I was like,
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 2: I think I'm going to quit and do the play.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 2: Cause the plays were a big deal in our community.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: Always went for field trips as a kid and it
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 2: just seemed like fun. And I just like really wanted
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: to do it. And I'd never, and the guy who
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 2: was directing it was like, you know, we're doing Grease
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: and I think you would be a great Danny. I
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: can't say you're going to get it, but like, and
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 2: it was the lead in the play and I'd done
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 2: the play the year prior and it was just kind
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 2: of a random ensemble part. And the only other guy
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 2: I was running up against was this Korean dude named
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 2: Danny Park. And I'm like, not that Danny Zuko, Travolta
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: couldn't be a Korean guy, but I feel like I
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 2: got a pretty good shot. And so I went in
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 2: and told the coach, I go, my mom's like, you
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 2: got to just tell him. And she goes, what do
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 2: you want to do? I go, well, if I feel
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 2: like I played football, I'd be playing to please the
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: coach and not because I wanted to. And she goes, well,
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: there's your answer. You shouldn't do anything because you don't
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 2: want to make somebody else happy. This is your life.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 2: And sound single mom advice. And then I go in
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: there and I go, coach, I try to make a
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 2: joke out of it. I go, I'm not going to
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: be able to play football this year because- Yeah, I
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 2: can't memorize the playbook. I got to memorize the lyrics
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: to Grease Lightning. And he goes, get the fuck out
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 2: of my office. And I go, cool, great talk. Thanks
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: a lot, man. And he goes, come back in two
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 2: weeks and tell me the right answer. And so I
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: sit on it for two weeks. He doesn't even let
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: me out on that. And I fucking go back and
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: forth and finally go in and tell him. And then
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 2: he just fucking didn't say anything. And I was like,
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 2: kind of like, fucking like awkwardly roboted out of his
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 2: fucking office or whatever. And then he ended up coming
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 2: to the Sunday matinee with his kids. I'm in full fucking,
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 2: you know, makeup and the leather jacket. And he was like,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: he didn't suck. Pretty good. Yeah. I was like, The
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 2: best That's where I let go.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 5: Good luck on Friday.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: Nothing worse than telling a coach. No, bro.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 2: It totally. And he was a basketball coach too, which,
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 2: which I still didn't play. So then he would give
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: it to me. Like if I fucked up a play,
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: be like, sorry, I don't have a script for this
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 2: fucking play. Adam Ray, you know, like let's go. So go,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 2: you fucking, you know, I do everything, you know, but
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 2: you know, I take it. Um, but, uh, But what
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 2: was I saying to that? What were we talking about
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 2: before that?
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: Short-term memory. I stopped smoking weed. It's gone.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 2: Fuck, dude. That's the moment.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: You're out. That's done.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 2: What else you guys got up there? Are these all
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 2: the questions?
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 5: Tear talk. Do you feel like you're more of a best,
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 5: should we go best Halloween decorations, best pies, best soups?
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: Tear talk is this.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 2: Best soups is great.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, best soups.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 2: Real quick, I want to do a traveling reality show
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 2: with a buddy of mine, Finding the Best Soups in America.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 2: Almost like a What do we call it? Soup chasers.
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 2: Almost like tornado chasers.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: Because there's a list. There's a website we found with
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 2: like the top 50 soups at the places. And we're
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: basically going around to find those things. We don't know.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 2: We have like six different versions of the show. If
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 2: it's a competition thing where you take people, like the
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: people with the best chowder, the best tomato bisque, the
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: best lobster bisque, and put them against each other. Or
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: if you're just, it's a travel show. And you go
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 2: to the place where the people have, you know, like
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 2: a man versus food thing. They have this challenge. You
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 2: go to the people. They have the best fucking minestrone.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 2: And you go there, you see how they make it,
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 2: and then you tour the town. Maybe you set up
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: a stand-up show there at the end of the episode. Whatever.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 2: Love soups. Favorite soup, got to be my mom's matzo ball.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 5: There's some parameters on this now.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is tier talk. This is a whole section here.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: So you're going to start at three. If you have
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: more than three and you want to give an honorable mention,
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: you're more than welcome to. You're going to start at three,
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: paint us a picture of why you love that soup,
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: that dish. Then you go two, and then obviously the
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: last one will be your number one. Make it suspenseful, though.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: And you don't have to go first.
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 2: Will, please.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 2: I'll go first.
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 1: I'll go first.
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 2: Huh? To what? To list the soups.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: Now, here's a question real quick.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: Thanks, Sherm.
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 1: Does chili and chowder count as soup?
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 2: Chili is a... Ooh. Chowder is a soup.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: Okay. That's all I really need.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 2: Chili's not a soup.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 1: Okay. Then maybe I'm not ready. Because chili was going
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: to be in there.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 2: You know what? To me, it's not a soup. Because
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 2: the consistency is too thick. All right, fair enough. No,
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: but it does have soupy qualities.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's soupy, soup-esque.
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 2: Soup-esque. I'll give it to you. It's your show. It's
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 2: your bus.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 1: All right, so let's just take a moment so I
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: can just think for a second. Whether Chili's or Soupy's
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: is better or better.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 5: Okay. Okay.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: Take your time. Sound it out.
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 5: Go ahead. Go ahead.
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 5: We should take a few minutes.
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: My tier three is going to be chili. And I
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: know it has to do with consistency based on what
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: Sherm just put up on the Google there. But chili
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 1: is one of those things that if it's at a
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: backyard barbecue, it just amplifies everything.
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: Takes everything up a notch.
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: It takes everything up a notch. Now that stale bread,
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: those stale even hot dog buns... Now have a taste.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: You're going to take one of those buns.
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 2: You're going to dip it in that chili. Dip it
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 2: in that chili.
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: Because you're going to really, truly enjoy it. So many
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: different varieties and ways to make it. I like my
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: chili spicy. I like my nose to run a little
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: bit with my chili.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: That's how I like my chili.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 2: That's a great breakdown.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: My tier two is going to be lobster bisque. There's
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 1: a place called The Chop House in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: It has the best lobster bisque I've ever had in
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: my life. It has a caramel flavor. a caramel scent
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: to it, a caramel touch to it.
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: You're like, am I having dessert before my entree?
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 1: When really you're just having some lobster biscuits. It's incredible.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: My tier one, my God tier, is clam chowder. I
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: think clam chowder.
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 2: That's my nickname in middle school.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: There's so many ways to eat clam chowder. You can
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: have it with just salt and pepper. You can throw
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: some Nabasco sauce in there. If you're crazy, put some
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: crackers in there. Have a little bit of texture. Hey,
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 1: you know what's even more wild? You can even have
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: a bread bowl. And the bread bowl has some clam
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: chowder in there. Best clam chowder I've ever had in
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: my life also was in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Second place,
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 1: San Francisco. But at the hotel we used to stay at,
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: it's now called The Graduate. They had a clam chowder.
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: They had a recipe for like 50 years that only
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: the football players could have. And they would have pitchers
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: Friday nights before games. And we had one guy, Elliot Mueller,
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: who's an aspiring comedian, actually. He would just only eat
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: the chowder for his pregame meal. Or it was night
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: before a meal. And it was that good. And that
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: is my tear talk.
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 2: Wow, dude.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: How amazing is that?
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 2: The bread bowl is phenomenal.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: Game fucking changer.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 2: And you can't put any soup in a bread bowl.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 2: And I've always said that.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: You can't put a soup in a bread bowl?
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 2: You can't put any soup in a bread bowl.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes.
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a tomato. All right, I'll give you
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 2: my tears.
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 1: It's a beef and cheddar. Hold on. So once tear
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: talk is over, we all go around the room and
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: everyone gives one word to describe how they feel about
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: the other individual's tear talk.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, great.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 5: Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 5: Jack?
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: Adam, we're going to end with you. Warm.
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 3: Soupy.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 2: That was a special breakdown, dude. That was, I now
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 2: want to have that lobster bisque.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: It's incredible.
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 2: You're saying the caramel touch on top. Caramel touch. There's a...
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 2: Caramel note. Caramel note.
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 7: Ooh.
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 2: What do you think you're more prestigious about, your soups
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 2: or your wines?
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: By far my soups. I'm not a wine guy.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 2: Well, not with that attitude.
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: No, not at all.
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 2: You've got to believe in yourself.
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 1: I've been to Napa. I've done it. It's not for me.
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 2: It's not for you. You're not this guy.
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 2: You're not the... It's got some wheat thins.
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 1: It's got some- I like to play that game for
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: a moment, but truly the taste of wine to me
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 1: does nothing for me.
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 2: No. You're a hard A guy?
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 5: Hard alcohol, yeah.
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 1: If I was, yeah, yeah. Tequila is my number one.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 5: No, he's a hard R guy.
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, funny, Will. Funny, dude. That's tonight's Doritos joke of
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 2: the night.
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: That's me and my wife in Napa, actually.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 2: Let's go. You guys are adorable.
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah. From Canada.
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 2: Does she like the stash?
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: She loves it.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 2: Loves it. Good for you, dude.
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she loves it.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 2: Because it is, yeah, I feel like you without the stash,
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 2: I've only known you with it. So I don't think,
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 2: was Sherman about to fucking Photoshop that out? I don't know.
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 1: Are you going to take that off?
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 2: She's from Canada. What part?
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: British Columbia.
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 5: Awesome, dude.
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 1: Right above Washington.
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 2: Right above, dude. That's a good part of the woods.
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: She's actually mentioned Washington as a place that we might
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: live someday. And I said, there's no chance because I
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: would just live in Kelowna. Have a part-time place there.
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you guys love it here? Yeah.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 2: It's awesome.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 5: Love it here.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: I've really grown to love Four Seasons. Four Seasons. Being
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: in Arizona, I used to think Four Seasons.
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 5: Hey, Taylor is becoming a Four Seasons guy.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've grown to love it. Actually, when I tell
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 1: you that a couple days ago, right?
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: And there's something exciting about like, so this weekend was
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 1: like 82 degrees. The last two days has been like 74, 75.
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: And that is something that you're like, bro. It juices
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: you the fuck up.
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 2: And then November you'll get like 50s, 40s.
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 2: But not crazy. No, your winters get a little wild.
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: No, not here.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: You'll get like a three week cold snap or it's
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: just insane. The whole town shuts down.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: Because there's two inches of snow.
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 2: That's fine. That's also awesome.
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 2: If you haven't been around snow.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: It's a fun time. I hate the snow. I will
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 1: say that.
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 2: Do you?
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: I'll stand 10 toes on that.
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 2: But you love hazelnut coffee.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 2: I thought you said you were a mistake.
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 7: I was.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: I actually was. Let's talk about it because everyone's made
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: a mistake. Only some have been a mistake. I talk
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: about that in my book, Chapter 5. An abortion baby
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 2: can still have a dream. All right. Let's go French
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 2: onion soup. I was in Prague.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 5: Nice.
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 2: I went to Prague. I was studying abroad in London.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 2: My mom came out. We went to like Poland. We
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: visited the concentration camp. So I was like, fucking what?
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 2: Can we go to a museum instead? It was wild.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 2: But we went to this restaurant and Martha Stewart tried
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 2: to buy their French onion soup recipe. And that was,
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 2: they were like, hard pass, suck a dick, but we're
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 2: going to tell people that you tried to do that.
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 2: And they put it on the menu. And like, they
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 2: tell you, and you're looking and you're like, what the fuck?
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 2: And the guy's like, yep. And they told me that
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 2: exact story. And I'm like, well, I fucking gotta have it.
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 2: And it was unreal, dude. Had that perfect layer of
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 2: caked cheese just fucking hovering above, right? You push the
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 2: spoon through, breaks right immediately, dude. The first bite, appropriately
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 2: piping hot, not burning your tongue, right? Some people are like, dude,
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 2: I want the soup to fucking burn off my, burn
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 2: the herps off. No, man, I want it to just
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 2: kind of soothe, like just immediately make me feel comfy
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 2: about where I am in my life. And that's what
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 2: that first bite of French onion soup did. And then
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 2: Martha Stewart comes out the back and gives you a
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 2: little back rub. Um, and then she's like, psych, I
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 2: actually work here, bitch. And then, uh, I don't, I
• 1:37:39
  Speaker 2: don't do a Martha. And so, um, so that's my,
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 2: that's my top. That's my, that's my bottom. That's my
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 2: top tier three tier three.
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 5: Dude.
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 2: The chowder bread bowl is a, I remember, uh, what was, uh, uh,
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 2: university of Washington, uh, football games. When I would go
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 2: in high school, what would they do to you?
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: Michigan just lost to them.
• 1:38:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But go on.
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: Not about me.
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 3: It's your show.
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 2: Um they you could get bread bowls uh it.
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 8: Is crazy that they beat you guys yeah sorry dude.
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 2: You're a piece of shit for that what team was
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 2: that that what you dubbed him was that.
• 1:38:16
  Speaker 1: That the one the one that played last week yeah
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: yeah who's a sports fan not you.
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 2: Not a college football fan as much when i left
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 2: sc it dropped yeah i went from.
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 1: Do you know who won the national championship last year.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah i went to it. Michigan. Oh, you did?
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 2: I've become friends with Harbaugh now. He's the man. He
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 2: is the fucking man, dude. Pull up Harbaugh and Dr. Phil.
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 2: There's a picture of us. He came to a Dr.
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 2: Phil live show, dude.
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 5: No, he didn't.
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. And I was going to pull him up.
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 2: There he is right there. I was going to pull
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 2: him up on stage, dude.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 5: I bet he loved it.
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, he loved it.
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 1: The middle finger is so funny, just as Dr.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 2: Phil. Bro, isn't it wild? And we now have, like,
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 2: merch with all that shit. It's just fucking... I should
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 2: have brought you guys some shit. Actually, well, if you're around,
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 2: I'll send you guys some shit. But he... My buddy,
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 2: Jaleel White, who played Urkel, his wife is tied to
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 2: the Chargers. And so he was at the wedding, and
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 2: we just started shooting the shit. And I was like...
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 2: He gave an impromptu speech where he was kind of like.
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 3: You gotta fucking... grab marriage by the balls and fucking go.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 2: And was so funny. And I went up to him.
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, bro, that was unbelievable. He's like, oh, thanks, man.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 2: You know, and he's like, he's a little, you know,
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 2: just a big kid.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: So intense.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 2: And I go, I go, dude, I go, you know,
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 2: I'm just, you know, I'm giving you just the comedic praise.
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, you're a comedian? I go, oh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. I was watching through the
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 2: eyes of a professional funny and you ripped it. And
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 2: then we started chatting and he's like, oh, I love
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 2: to come to a show. And so then we start
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 2: texting and I was like, Hey man, before you come
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 2: to a regular standup show, which you can see anytime
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 2: I got these Phil shows that like would really. And
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 2: so he came with the, uh, offensive coordinator for the Greg, um,
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 2: used to be at the Ravens Roman. Yeah. And, uh,
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 2: and they brought their wives and he had a fucking blast, dude.
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 2: And I was going to call him up and do
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 2: something with him, but I was like, you know, let's
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 2: let him enjoy the show, whatever. But, but I went
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 2: to that game. Cause I met the trainer for the
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 2: YouTube Huskies a few years back. And my best friend
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 2: was going to the game and couldn't get tickets. They
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 2: like waited too long. and i hit up this trainer
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 2: i was like bro do you have any way to
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 2: i was basically on the sidelines for a seahawks game
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 2: with schneider the trainer comes up and goes uh we'll
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 2: be right back right this guy named ashwin i go
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 2: what's up man he's like oh i love the field
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 2: stuff man i was like what do you do oh
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 2: it's the trainer for the seahawks and now you dub
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 2: for the last 25 30 years i go get the
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 2: fuck out of here that's all he starts telling me
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 2: unbelievable stories that's what i tell you when i knew
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 2: about the hawks being injured for that super bowl he
• 1:40:31
  Speaker 2: went down the list i was like i go man
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 2: wait so i go when you were there in az
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 2: i immediately went to that was like What was it
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 2: like from your vantage point? He was like, oh, guys,
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 2: let's talk about your parents' divorce next, you know? And
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 2: then it was my mom, stepdad, and Derte on the right,
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 2: never smiles. Dude, just fucking one smile, dude. The amount
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 2: of cool shit I've fucking given you, just fucking one smile, dude.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 2: Just break the fucking, give me one dimple, you fucking
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 2: ungrateful piece of shit. No, I love him, dude. And so, yeah,
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 2: and so he gets us tickets to the fucking championship game.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 2: Let me just say this, dude. First of all, college
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 2: football fan, yeah. Growing up, went to UW games all
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 2: the time in high school. Went to SC. Obviously, like, wild.
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 2: And for about five, six years after, was stuck in
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 2: college football. And never really a loose pro fan. And then,
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 2: you know, Pete came up to Seattle, and it was like,
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 2: that kind of got me reinvested. The homegrown Seahawks I
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 2: was all about, you know, when we lost the Super
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 2: Bowl in, what, 23rd? No, 20... 205 to the Steelers
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 2: on some bullshit calls. But I just lost my college... uh,
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 2: fandom because, um, the pro, I just went like all pro,
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 2: you know? Um, but, uh, the national championship was wild.
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 2: I've never seen a sporting event like that in my
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 2: entire life. It was at, uh, at the, uh, with
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 2: the soup, no, the Houston dome, whatever that is.
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 2: A hundred plus thousand loud the whole time, the whole time, dude. And, uh,
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 2: and Pennix, you know, a couple of bad throws, man.
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 2: And like, I mean, Michigan just fucking played a hell
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 2: of a game. They were the best team, right? Yeah.
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 2: But UW was there for a reason, man.
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 1: That was a trying time for Buston with the boys.
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 1: Because Will and I were kind of enemies at that point.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: We did a stream, and Will only wanted Michigan to lose.
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 3: No, why?
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: Bad friend.
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 2: Bad friend.
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: Bad friend, and I was being a little nasty about
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 1: my fandom. Being a little nasty.
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 2: So they lost last weekend.
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 1: I've been humbled. There's no doubt about it.
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 5: In a big way.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: So tier two is Chowder Bulls.
• 1:42:25
  Speaker 2: Because at UW games, Heck Edmondson, no, the Husky Stadium,
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 2: just outdoors. Again, cold with a Chowder Bull. Seattle, you know, fall, just,
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 2: you know, seeing your breath when you breathe, doing the
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 2: fucking as a kid, doing a fake fucking, do the dishes, bitch, right?
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 2: Whatever you're saying. You know, some cool old guy with
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 2: a cigarette, catchphrase. Chowder Bulls outside, just the contrast of
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 2: hot and cold. Give it to me all day. It's
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 2: like when you hop into the hot tub. right? And,
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 2: you know, out of the snow, you get that fucking, like,
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 2: same thing with the Chowder Bowl outside. Can't get any better.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 2: That's a tough, that's hovering into tier one is the
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 2: Chowder Bowl outdoors at a college football game. Tier one, dude,
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 2: Mama Ray, Puddin', my mom Puddin', her real name's Carolyn.
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 2: My grandpa gave her the nickname Puddin'. I did a
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 2: really dumb joke when she first married my stepdad. His
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 2: name is George Cox. I would go, fucking, you know,
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 2: so now my mom is Puddin' Cox. I go, I'm
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 2: glad that his last name wasn't Cox in the butt.
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 2: You know, it's got way more laughs here than it
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 2: got that open. Mike fucking circuit 12 years ago, whatever,
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 2: whenever they got married there, she came out in the
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 2: beginning of my special. She's going to be in another
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 2: thing coming up. The fucking goat. My mom's a goat.
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 2: And so she makes a matzo ball soup. That'll fucking,
• 1:43:39
  Speaker 2: you know, talk about coming in your pants, dude, take
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 2: away that first HJ over the pants, dude.
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: That was it. I mean, better than any Halloween night grind.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 2: She makes her matzo ball soup on actually Halloween. What's
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 2: it called?
• 1:43:49
  Speaker 3: Matzo ball?
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 5: What's it called?
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 2: Just matzo ball. Matzo ball. Matzo ball soup. And so
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 2: this is another Passover treat. It's just a fluffy... You know,
• 1:43:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, the soup is just, you know, veggies, chicken, salty,
• 1:44:01
  Speaker 2: and then the big fluffy, almost like a bread ball,
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 2: you know? Okay. You guys would fucking love it. There's
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 2: nothing Jew-y about it other than it's just a fucking...
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 2: It's a Jew soup, which is a great band name.
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 2: And it's also, you know, Sherman, if you can play
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 2: the bass clarinet, you're hired. And so it... Let's go.
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 2: And it.
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just any time of year. So on Halloween,
• 1:44:22
  Speaker 2: my mom, they live in a neighborhood where there's a
• 1:44:24
  Speaker 2: lot of kids and stuff. And so she and my
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 2: stepdad get dressed up. The kids, my nephew and niece,
• 1:44:28
  Speaker 2: has now come over to help hand out candy. They
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 2: fucking love it. And she makes a fucking big thing
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 2: of soup. Kids come over, they hang. It's like an anytime,
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 2: it's a seasonal soup, even though it's only, there'll be
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 2: times where I'll go home and I'm like, you know.
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 5: She knows what you want.
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's, either she's already made it or I'm
• 1:44:44
  Speaker 2: just like, can you, oh, there's the fucking, yeah, dude.
• 1:44:47
  Speaker 2: Look at that guy. Proposition by two Australian women and
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 2: one Filipino man.
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 5: Decent. Never had the top one. And then I'm not
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 5: necessarily a French onion guy.
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 2: I apologize.
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 2: Not a French.
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 2: Okay so the chowder bowl you can fuck love the
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 2: chowder bowl love that that's a quick way to get
• 1:45:13
  Speaker 2: me going yeah i was trying to i was just
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 2: trying to you know mix it up with the other
• 1:45:16
  Speaker 2: two but you know i take it uh the matzo
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 2: ball soup you haven't had you can't knock.
• 1:45:20
  Speaker 4: It never had it yeah exactly right right she had
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 4: a bowl of it on me uh my word is
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 4: optimistic wow okay i love you i love your first
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 4: two i haven't tried the matzo ball but the way
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 4: you talk about your mom making.
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 2: That mama ray fucking send a bucket down yeah bro
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 2: yeah Or maybe next time you guys are in Seattle,
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 2: maybe if I'm up there, we do a live bussing
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 2: or something somewhere.
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 1: Just eat soup.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 2: Bring her out and feed it to you guys.
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 2: Hopefully this episode pops off where people in the chat
• 1:45:46
  Speaker 2: are just like, dude, you guys got to do that.
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 2: We'll come out. And then everyone will go, and then
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 2: we'll close the show by you guys being like, and
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 2: then we'll be like, decent. And Pogacar will go, man,
• 1:45:55
  Speaker 2: right in the back. Whatever the fuck he did in
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 2: his pants a couple minutes ago, right? That's how we
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 2: close the episode. And then Pete Carroll comes out and goes,
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 2: I actually like the soup. Everyone goes, we thought fucking
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 2: go give Reggie Bush an escalator. You know, he's a
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 2: great guy.
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 5: What's your word in the back, Sherm?
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Shalom. Ooh, somebody just Googled Jewish catchphrases.
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 5: He is on you.
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 2: Shalom. Dude, even the way he said that, like somebody
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, really? You've been to a bar mitzvah?
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 2: Sherm was like, yeah, man. Shalom.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: Hey, Sherm, you're doing the twisty question.
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 1: You got to read the twisty question.
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 3: Solid.
• 1:46:30
  Speaker 1: Mitch.
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 2: Thanks, Mitch.
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 5: Mitch A1, no smoke.
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 2: Nostalgic. Nostalgic. Good one. Good one, yeah.
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 5: All right, Will.
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: Just came at Adam. Now you got to go.
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 2: We reaching the end? It's over.
• 1:46:42
  Speaker 1: No, he's going to do his and then we'll do
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 1: Twisted Tea and then you can.
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, we're all saying Will. But yeah, I'm optimistic
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 2: that it's not going to be that great. Go ahead.
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 2: What do you got, baby? Close us out.
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 5: Honorable mentions. vegetable soup just your classic vegetable soup i
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 5: love to dip uh peanut butter sandwiches in it and
• 1:47:02
  Speaker 5: remember that because there's a tier.
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 8: One coming here what was the orphanage that you grew
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 8: up in sandusky's yep yeah funny you're quicker than i
• 1:47:10
  Speaker 8: thought you'd be uh wait um my tier three vegetable
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 8: soup is my tier three.
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 2: Wait vegetables your tier three.
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 5: That's an honorable mention doesn't make the cut just an
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 5: honorable mention I didn't.
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 2: Know we got that.
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I told you I said it out loud.
• 1:47:27
  Speaker 2: I'd love to give a shout out to Emilio Estevez
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 2: for his role in Mighty Ducks 2 and 3. Honorable mention.
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 2: If we're going to fucking give out some free shout outs,
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 2: let me know, dude.
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 5: My tier three is broccoli cheddar soup. Specifically from Potbelly's.
• 1:47:43
  Speaker 5: Had it over the weekend. Very good, dippable soup. I'm
• 1:47:46
  Speaker 5: a big dip guy. My tier two is going to
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 5: be a creamy, dreamy lobster bisque. You have all the
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 5: perfect words for it. My tier one, near and dear
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 5: to my heart, is chili. Chili is one of my
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 5: favorite meals because I love dipping peanut butter sandwiches in chili.
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 5: Do you really?
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 5: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Are you setting me
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 5: up right now or are you being fucking serious?
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 2: If I was a guest, can I keep telling my story?
• 1:48:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 2: So yeah, no, I'm not setting you up. My mom,
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 2: another soup, tomato soup she'd make and fucking PB & Js, dude,
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 2: all day. I would come home from football practice and
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 2: either slam, dude, when your metabolism is just through the roof, right?
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 2: I'd slam either seven double-deckers, right? From a two-a-day summer practice, right?
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 2: So you've just, you've burned everything, you know, and puked everything.
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 2: Seven double-deckers or two PB & Js, so four, and
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 2: dip them all in the soups. And dude, I mean,
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 2: I'm salivating thinking of it. I'm doing it for, yeah,
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 2: I'm doing a sherm right now, dude. i'm getting so
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 2: excited just thinking about dipping dude dude i knew we
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 2: were homies dipping the soup is the move yes you
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 2: have to and that's and broccoli cheddar might be the
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 2: best for that.
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah but i do love it try try dipping a
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 5: peanut butter sandwich in chili you will really like.
• 1:48:54
  Speaker 2: Tell me i live my life but i'll think about it.
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah you will really like what you taste okay
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 5: big missouri thing every thursday in the cafeteria would be
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 5: chili day and you'd have uh peanut butter sandwiches wow
• 1:49:03
  Speaker 5: dude mixed with some honey the peanut butter mixed with
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 5: some honey.
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 2: I'm Always there for that.
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 5: Incredible.
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 5: Mouth is salivating.
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you this. Is this tier thing, this
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 2: is a thing you do? Yeah. But the soup, but soup,
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 2: we just, we stumbled on that. Yeah. Or was that
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 2: a pre-plan?
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 1: No, it was just like, hey, these are the three options.
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is going to get me
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 2: back to my thing about the soup show, which, you know, again,
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 2: there's not enough time in the day for me to
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 2: like do everything I want to do. But it is
• 1:49:25
  Speaker 2: definitely like, if you were to, if you were to
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 2: come to me and go, hey, we got all this money.
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 2: What do you want to make right now? Like show wise,
• 1:49:32
  Speaker 2: that would be in the top three. of things like
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 2: the Soup Chaser show. And listen to this conversation.
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 5: We gotta get you to Bonter, Missouri for the chili
• 1:49:39
  Speaker 5: and peanut butter. I just throw it out there. No
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 5: bad ideas in a brainstorm.
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 2: But just the fact that this is giving me even
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 2: more juice to the idea because of the fact that
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 2: we're all taking our time with this and it's like
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 2: everyone has a soup connection.
• 1:49:51
  Speaker 1: People love soup. Everyone's had it.
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 2: Everyone loves it. You're doing the VO for the show.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 2: It's a big drone shot of fucking the States and
• 1:49:59
  Speaker 2: we cut it on Taylor and he just goes and
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 2: he rips his stash off and goes, people love soup.
• 1:50:03
  Speaker 3: Boom.
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: And then it goes into an action-packed sequence of you
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 1: guys dipping peanut butter sandwiches in chili.
• 1:50:09
  Speaker 2: Whatever, we're fucking popping loosies.
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude. Pant stains.
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 2: People just getting excited.
• 1:50:13
  Speaker 5: You know what they do in Nebraska? Cinnamon rolls in chili.
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 2: Well, that makes no sense to anybody.
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 5: Makes none, but for your show, like chasing around.
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 2: You want to pick the right spots. Yeah, and you
• 1:50:22
  Speaker 2: want that. You want that element of like, dude, how
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 2: fat can we get?
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: You're right. Nebraska makes a great corn chowder.
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 2: Another one. Put it on the list. Oh, Wait, what
• 1:50:32
  Speaker 2: the fuck is this? Oh, it's AI. I thought you
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 2: were about to be like, dude, it already exists. Sorry.
• 1:50:38
  Speaker 5: These motherfuckers.
• 1:50:40
  Speaker 2: Bro, I literally, my heart dropped, dude.
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: You better make that show quick. Someone's going to steal
• 1:50:45
  Speaker 1: that after this episode. You got to get on this.
• 1:50:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to patent it or something, right?
• 1:50:50
  Speaker 5: We know he's got it, though. He's already been talking
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 5: about it.
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 2: On the show. Yeah, it's already, yeah, it's already, there's draft,
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, right, if we, somebody, we could go back
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 2: and sue But that sucks. You don't want to be
• 1:50:57
  Speaker 2: the fucking Winklevoss twins. You want to be Zuckerberg.
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 2: You don't want to be Armie Hammer eating fucking women
• 1:51:02
  Speaker 2: for breakfast. Wild, dude. Hey, hey.
• 1:51:06
  Speaker 1: Delicious.
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:51:08
  Speaker 7: The words.
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, you said creamy dreamy. I thought you
• 1:51:12
  Speaker 2: were talking about... Let's see. I'm going to do a
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 2: good word.
• 1:51:21
  Speaker 1: We'll come back to you.
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: What do you think?
• 1:51:24
  Speaker 4: Yum.
• 1:51:26
  Speaker 2: Sorry, Sherm. We've already used yum. Mmm. Thanks, Sherm. Fuck. Dipping.
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 2: We come to find Sherm knows five words.
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 5: Two of them are sounds.
• 1:51:39
  Speaker 2: Mmm. Yum.
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 3: Taylor, he goes, shum.
• 1:51:43
  Speaker 2: Savory. Savory and delicious are good. So I got to
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 2: do a different adjective that also expresses my appreciation, which
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 2: I could do. for that uh breakdown appropriate came to
• 1:52:03
  Speaker 2: mind but that's like that sounds like that sounds like
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 2: a fucking like a gym teacher that's.
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 5: Like look in the long way to the you.
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 2: Can stare at a woman's titties and so by the
• 1:52:13
  Speaker 2: way i'm the p teacher and the health teacher mr
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 2: supplin that was the name of our guy definitely would
• 1:52:18
  Speaker 2: like there would be young girls in the class and
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 2: he'd be like look some of you guys are getting
• 1:52:22
  Speaker 2: pregnant that's just how it goes I'm looking at a
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 2: few of you. I can see it might already be happening. Okay.
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 2: Maybe you're just fat. But anyway, we're going. You know what, man? Perfect. Wow.
• 1:52:41
  Speaker 2: Because I hadn't even considered or remembered how much involvement
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 2: the sandwich and the soup. how much time they actually
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 2: spend together, how much they need each other.
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:52:52
  Speaker 2: And how much the dipping the sandwich was a part
• 1:52:54
  Speaker 2: of my childhood.
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 2: So, so that was, uh, I just start crying.
• 1:52:59
  Speaker 5: And I just, I don't know, man.
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 2: My mom would make it my small suit. You can
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 2: have it. You can have my mom. You can fuck
• 1:53:06
  Speaker 2: my mom too. Uh, but dude, yeah, the dip don't
• 1:53:09
  Speaker 2: underestimate the sandwich dip, dude. Even this kid, this is
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 2: just a piece of fucking non-bread dude. That's not the move.
• 1:53:15
  Speaker 2: Is that an AI? Sherm, did you AI sandwich dip
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 2: and that's what you came up with? Dude, this is
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 2: why you can't always trust technology, man.
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 1: Can't do it.
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 2: You couldn't find me a fat Smucker's Jelly Kid with
• 1:53:25
  Speaker 2: a fucking PB & J halfway down? Minestrone, by the way,
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 2: is also Minestrone's honorable mention.
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 5: Shout out, Minestrone.
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 2: Shout out, Minestrone.
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 1: I want to see what Sherman cooks up here.
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 5: I'm excited for.
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 2: Sherman and Reedus. By the way, before.
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 1: This comes up, your guys' relationship has taken so many
• 1:53:43
  Speaker 1: different twists and turns just in this tier talk.
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 1: Good for you guys.
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 5: You got closer.
• 1:53:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Because it started, it was turbulent for a moment.
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 5: But that's how you get to know your bros. You
• 1:53:51
  Speaker 5: start ball busting.
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: A little bit.
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 2: You have to, dude. Got to hit them and hug them.
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 1: Hit them and hug them. Internet not doing well.
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 5: I'm so excited for Sherman and Reedus to ask a
• 1:54:01
  Speaker 5: question too.
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Look at this. Here we go. Soup chasers. Smucker's jelly.
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 2: It's like, wait, is it ice cream? The kid's dipping.
• 1:54:11
  Speaker 2: What the fuck? Wait, so this fat piece of shit
• 1:54:13
  Speaker 2: has soup in a sandwich and then just a pint
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 2: of Smucker's jelly ice cream next to him. Just in
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 2: case I want to wash down my soup. I mean,
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 2: this kid, I mean, not too off from what I
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 2: look like.
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like fourth grade you right there.
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 2: That's what he looks like.
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: Just imagine that kid in a bird costume.
• 1:54:32
  Speaker 2: Bro. Actually getting kids to be on, maybe a kid
• 1:54:36
  Speaker 2: sidekick or like the kid assistant. Look at that kid
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 2: dressed like a falcon. What is that? Some sort of centaur.
• 1:54:42
  Speaker 2: What is that, a Harry Potter?
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: It's like a mythological owl.
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 2: Mythological owl.
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 5: Sure, and bring up the ad read for Twisted. So
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 5: I got to hear him. I got to hear him
• 1:54:51
  Speaker 5: get to this.
• 1:54:54
  Speaker 6: Let's talk about- Who do you guys are sponsored by?
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 2: You got some, well, I'm going to say it.
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 1: What do you think, let me ask you a question.
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 1: What do you think Twisted Question is sponsored by?
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 2: Well, Twisted Tea, but I heard a Mountain Dew ad
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 2: in there, I think, with your Joe Gatto episode.
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, you listened.
• 1:55:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 2: Joe, I love Joe. And also, I'm a fan of
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 2: the show, man.
• 1:55:11
  Speaker 1: Being able to get paid to say do the Dew
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: is a special moment.
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 2: Bro, I wanted to bring that up. That's wild to me.
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, I fucking guzzled Dew as a kid.
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 2: And also, I don't know. They're so cool.
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 6: It is.
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:55:25
  Speaker 2: Do the Dew. Once they got involved with their commercials-
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, they fucked with Westbrook. Who else did they have?
• 1:55:32
  Speaker 2: They had some pretty cool athletes that were really doing
• 1:55:34
  Speaker 2: some cool dude commercials.
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 1: I think Sean White was a Mountain Dew guy, wasn't he?
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 2: Dude, also the whole Baja Blast shit. Them making their
• 1:55:40
  Speaker 2: way to the top. Dude, once you break the Taco
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 2: Bell seal and you're in, dude.
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man. That's a Taco Bell staple. The
• 1:55:46
  Speaker 1: Baja Blast.
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 2: Taco Bell has like the Mountain Dew Gordita. I mean,
• 1:55:49
  Speaker 2: it's like, which, yeah. Cena, come on, man. Does no wrong. Anyway,
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 2: congrats on that. Does no wrong.
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 1: Mountain Dew is sick. But also, what else is sick, Sherman?
• 1:55:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe you're going to go out to the voting booth.
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 3: Maybe you're going to go vote for America. You want
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 3: to pick a prize. You got Kamala Harris.
• 1:56:04
  Speaker 2: I'm working at a McDonald's. And I was at the
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 2: first McDonald's. I went to every McDonald's.
• 1:56:11
  Speaker 3: You weren't there, bitch. That's because she was at home
• 1:56:15
  Speaker 3: drinking a Twisted Tea. A Twisted Tea. A Twisted Me.
• 1:56:18
  Speaker 3: A Twisted Me. I'm a pretzel. Twist me up. Put
• 1:56:20
  Speaker 3: me in a Four Loko. Put down a Four Loko.
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 3: Pick up a Twisted Tea. Twist me up. Do the Macarena.
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 3: Do the Hokey Pokey. Say your own name when you come.
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 3: Twisted T. Your dad might have left, but they'll be
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 3: there for you.
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 2: All right, what's the question?
• 1:56:35
  Speaker 5: They'll love that. Sherm.
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 1: Sherm, read the question. Usually Mitch reads the Twisted question.
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but based on your guys' rapport, this has to
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 5: come from Sherm. Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 2: Dr.
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 7: Phil could answer this. Biden could answer this. The year
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 7: is 117 AD. It's the height of the Roman Empire.
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 7: You are in command of an army of lizard people
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 7: on the island of Crete. What is your strategy for
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 7: overthrowing the established power that is the empirical tyrant of Rome?
• 1:57:04
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, what a fucking psycho question, Sherm.
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 2: You get this off the back of one of your
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 2: Magic the Gathering circle jerks. Well, look, Twisted Tea's been
• 1:57:16
  Speaker 2: around for a while, and I like to suck down
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 2: a nice tea. It's got to be twisted. I don't
• 1:57:23
  Speaker 2: like those normal adjusted teas. Uh, but look, lizard people
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 2: have a place to just like when you go to
• 1:57:28
  Speaker 2: the strip club and you meet one of those dancers
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 2: with one leg and you go, what's your name? And
• 1:57:32
  Speaker 2: she says, cinnamon toast crunch. And you go, is that
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 2: your birth name or your stripper name? And by that
• 1:57:36
  Speaker 2: time she's already fallen over. And you ask yourself, why
• 1:57:39
  Speaker 2: did I get here? What led me to getting here?
• 1:57:42
  Speaker 2: What did I do in my life that got me
• 1:57:44
  Speaker 2: to here? So Crete is a, is an Island. I
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 2: haven't been to it. Okay. I'll give you the islands
• 1:57:51
  Speaker 2: I've been to in no particular order. Okay. Uh, uh, Hawaii.
• 1:57:56
  Speaker 2: Epstein and Joshua Tree. It's not an island, but when
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 2: you're on enough shrooms, you see water in places it's not.
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 2: I once took a dive in a little Mountain Dew
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 2: Code Red swimming pool. Turned out to be some period blood.
• 1:58:11
  Speaker 2: So my strategy for overthrowing the established power that is
• 1:58:16
  Speaker 2: the empirical tyrant of Rome would probably be to get
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 2: a big cannon. I'm a big cannon guy. I'll give
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 2: you my favorite cannons in no particular order. The cannon
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 2: that was used in Pirates 2. Curse of the Black Pearl, uh,
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 2: which it was, uh, it was, that was the first
• 1:58:34
  Speaker 2: time I saw Johnny. My favorite part of that movie
• 1:58:36
  Speaker 2: is when Johnny Depp goes, and I also love Nick
• 1:58:40
  Speaker 2: Cannon because nobody fires off more loads than the original
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 2: Cannon Nick. Okay. And Mariah Carey said it best, you know, sweet,
• 1:58:50
  Speaker 2: sweet fantasy baby. She was talking about his cock. Uh, Now,
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 2: my strategy would be to get a cannon, fire off
• 1:58:57
  Speaker 2: one big Nickelodeon load, and just drench them, slime them, right?
• 1:59:02
  Speaker 2: Remember the slime from back in the day? Remember Slimer?
• 1:59:06
  Speaker 2: That's how I eat pussy. But I think there's something
• 1:59:09
  Speaker 2: to be said about doing your best, putting one foot
• 1:59:12
  Speaker 2: in front of the other, getting to bed early, wake
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 2: up with the sun, go to bed with the moon,
• 1:59:16
  Speaker 2: take DayQuil at night, NightQuil during the day. And if
• 1:59:18
  Speaker 2: you find yourself confused and alone in the shower, shave
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 2: your head, your back, your pussy, and your crack. We'll
• 1:59:23
  Speaker 2: be right back. Did I answer the question? So I
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 2: guess C. So C, I do C.
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 1: That is, that's the end of the show. That's the
• 1:59:38
  Speaker 1: end of the show. That was incredible.
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 2: Good man.
• 1:59:41
  Speaker 5: Anybody who listens to the show, if their guests about
• 1:59:43
  Speaker 5: to come on and they hear the twisted question, hopefully
• 1:59:45
  Speaker 5: they don't listen to this one because you're going to
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 5: be like, wow.
• 1:59:47
  Speaker 1: It'll be the most intimidating thing to ever come across again.
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 2: Good question.
• 1:59:51
  Speaker 1: Sweating the whole time waiting for Mitch or Sherman to
• 1:59:53
  Speaker 1: rip off a twisted question. Dog, first time meeting you.
• 1:59:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 1: Loved every bit of every moment of this podcast.
• 2:00:00
  Speaker 2: It has been amazing. Super fun, man.
• 2:00:02
  Speaker 1: All the time.
• 2:00:02
  Speaker 2: You guys know what you're doing, man. Big fans. Uh,
• 2:00:05
  Speaker 2: thanks for asking me, man. Really honored.
• 2:00:06
  Speaker 5: Excited for part two already.
• 2:00:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 2: Come back and fill me, whatever.
• 2:00:09
  Speaker 1: If you get soup chasers going, we demand to be
• 2:00:12
  Speaker 1: part of the first season.
• 2:00:13
  Speaker 2: One bro. 1000 dude. You've honestly, it's like, again, dude,
• 2:00:16
  Speaker 2: it's out of sight, out of mind until you get
• 2:00:18
  Speaker 2: a little, uh, you know, uh, fuel on the fire,
• 2:00:20
  Speaker 2: but you guys definitely, I'm definitely going to, you know,
• 2:00:23
  Speaker 2: spend some time today, farting this back up. And we
• 2:00:25
  Speaker 2: got the fucking poster. Who's hosting that in the middle?
• 2:00:29
  Speaker 2: Tony Romo?
• 2:00:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we got shit.
• 2:00:33
  Speaker 2: Fuck, dude. I've never tried a Tony Romo before. That
• 2:00:36
  Speaker 2: was awful. We got tomato.
• 2:00:37
  Speaker 3: We got chicken soup.
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 2: Well, Tony, we've got all sorts of soups. That's my
• 2:00:42
  Speaker 2: Jim Nance.
• 2:00:43
  Speaker 1: Holy fuck. Please, please subscribe. Rate five stars. And hey,
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 1: what are you up to? What are you doing the
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 1: next couple weeks?
• 2:00:49
  Speaker 2: Oh man, I got, uh, so, you know, uh, here
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 2: at Zany's this week, uh, but, uh, I'm on the road.
• 2:00:53
  Speaker 2: All my standup dates are at adamraycomedy.com. I got Cleveland
• 2:00:56
  Speaker 2: coming up, uh, San Jose, um, uh, Phoenix, uh, uh, shit.
• 2:01:02
  Speaker 2: And then we got the Dr. Phil live tour. We hit, uh,
• 2:01:04
  Speaker 2: DC and Philly on October 25th and 26th. Uh, and then, uh,
• 2:01:08
  Speaker 2: the beacon in New York on November 15th, uh, celebrity
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 2: theater in Arizona, December 6th, San Diego, uh, San Diego
• 2:01:13
  Speaker 2: civic theater in, uh, San Diego on December 7th. And
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 2: that one's going to be live streamed with Tony Hinchcliffe
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 2: and Adam Devine and some other special guests. All the Dr.
• 2:01:21
  Speaker 2: Phil live and stand-up dates are at adamraycomedy.com. My podcast
• 2:01:24
  Speaker 2: about last night. Dr. Phil live shows on my YouTube,
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 2: youtube.com slash adamraycomedy. Fuck, I think that's it, man. My
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 2: mom's soup at my mom's house.
• 2:01:34
  Speaker 4: Shout out your mom.
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 2: Appreciate you guys. Thanks for being here. That was awesome.
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: When they had that twisted question, I was like, this is.
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, man, how is.
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 2: Did you guys come up with that or was that like.
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 3: That was true.