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Episode 67: A Few of Our Favorite Things · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:24
Welcome inside the Treehouse for this very special Christmas Y edition with me Daniel Malley,
0:31
along with Trey Trenholm and Raj Sharma. And I know, Raj,
0:37
You're wondering why it is I'm wearing a tropical style shirt on the quote unquote
0:44
holiest of holy days on the Christian calendar, Christmas, And that is because
0:48
I am in full on vacation mode. And when I am in vacation mode,
0:52
I like to show it, and the shirt is not the only way
0:56
I do so, Oh my goodness. No, living on Paradise is so
1:00
tard. He needs a vacation, it is, Trey. Sometimes so much
1:07
sun becomes troubling and you need a break in it. So so much sun
1:11
in seventy eight degrees is just you know, monotonous. Eighty five tray,
1:15
Oh my bad, god, it's a heat wave. Heat wave in December,
1:19
you know. No, it is Christmas, so it's more like eighty
1:22
one eighty two. So it is the Christmas winds are a blowing. As
1:26
they say, Um, hang on, I keep putting my hand on wrong.
1:32
Aren't you always in vacation mode? No, I'm in work mode most
1:38
of the time. I just happen to live in a tropical environment where everyone
1:40
assumes you're on vacation all the time. Gotcha, Okay, I made I'm
1:44
guilty of charged. That's the reason why the whole joke started. That Tera
1:49
and I just started telling people we live in Oklahoma, because no one's ever
1:52
envious of anyone being in Oklahoma, and no one ever thinks you're just screwing
1:56
around not working in Oklahoma, because by God, if you're in Oklahoma,
1:59
either working or while doing some other illegal activities. Point is, it's Christmas,
2:04
and we're here for you because I know that in addition to gift giving
2:08
and general Christmas merryment that a lot of people like to partake in on this
2:15
day, there's also a number of people that just absolutely hate it and want
2:19
nothing to do with it, or they feel like they're trying to find any
2:23
escape from their friends and family that they can find. We welcome you.
2:30
Yeah, I never had the issue of being surrounded by annoying family members on
2:38
this day because we don't. We didn't, we didn't celebrate. Yeah,
2:43
it was nice like the people in the neighborhood, like back in you know,
2:46
growing up and Mesquite, the people in the neighborhood were nice and like
2:47
would come over and like offer for us to come join their festivities, but
2:53
that was also a solid no for the most part for them. Like I
2:57
would go, like I'd go across the street to my buddy Sonny's house or
2:59
Aja's house. My parents wouldn't go because my dad's vegetari was a vegetarian,
3:04
so going over there, like even green beans were made with like bacon or
3:09
yeah, so he couldn't even have the green beans. So it was just
3:14
one of those things. It's kind of so when you guys talk about like
3:16
being around annoying family members, I was like, tell me more stories.
3:21
I don't know what this is like, Oh try and I try, and
3:23
there are full of them, believe me. Yeah, is there is there
3:27
any? Is there one particular family member that sticks out like, thank God,
3:30
we don't have to see them anymore. Oh hang on, let me
3:35
think, hmm, you know what not really? Oh no, that means
3:40
it's me. And as I realized, as I'm I'm saying that wearing a
3:49
Hawaiian shirt and a Santa hat that says nice on it, So I can
3:53
I can understand now why it probably might be could be me. Did you
3:59
mind the hat a fit over the headphones? No, no, this was
4:01
an afterthought. Usually when this hat is being worn, it's at a bar
4:06
on Christmas or Christmas Eve, and headphones do not come into play. Oh
4:11
I got you. Okay, you were this out? Yes, of course
4:15
you were this to places? Okay, Yeah, gotta be festive. Okay,
4:20
that is a that is amazing. Well Hallmark Channel ran on vodka.
4:33
That's I saw this great. Do you remember the restaurant elar Royal You'll you'll
4:41
remember El roy of their trade, Yeah, on Greenville, just south of
4:45
Walnut Hill. Yeah. Yeah. And then then there's one in I think
4:48
Origin. Yeah, there was one when I was in college. There was
4:53
one in San Marcos that was a lot of fun. But they have some
4:57
of the best. Their billboards are the bests. Brought up is the just
5:02
I just took. I just copied this the other day because it made me
5:05
laughed hard. So what has fifteen actors, three settings, two writers in
5:09
one plot line six and forty two Hallmark movies? Look go ahead, Trey,
5:18
I was gonna say, Dan, And to be honest with you,
5:20
I would think that Hallmark movies are fueled off vodka and regret for life decisions
5:27
and everything else that yeah, people have made that has landed them working on
5:30
Hallmark movies. Yeah. The thing is, though, it's still a good
5:35
gig because every year they need some slightly different version of the same movie,
5:43
and you know, they probably only have like ten people that write those things,
5:48
and they just you know, sort of like sort of like really sad
5:51
Elves in Santa's Sweatshop. It's the Hallmark writers locked up year after year having
6:00
to come up with just slightly different versions of the same movies. I almost
6:04
I almost became the eleventh person. Two years ago. I made it to
6:11
the almost almost the final round with producers for a Hallmark movie called I Believe
6:16
in Santa. And which role were you up for? The lead? No,
6:24
I wish the Mark's not forward yet. No, no, not at
6:28
all. But I was the I was the lead actor's best friend. So
6:32
I mean I I did the I did the the self tape in California,
6:38
submitted it, uh and it was hilarious. It was an old my old
6:42
old agent who's now a manager just reached out. He goes hey, I
6:46
got He just sent me a text mess goes hey, I got this for
6:48
you. I needs you to self tape and I hadn't talked to him in
6:50
three years. That's the message I get, and I go, cool,
6:57
how the f you been man? And I set the self tape in and
7:02
I came back to Dallas and he's like, hey, man, they love
7:06
just so we're going to do another screening and I was like, all right,
7:10
and then another zoom call and it did the zoom call and then they
7:13
brought in the actors who were also the writers, and it's a husband and
7:16
wife teams. John. The guy's name is John Doucy. He's been a
7:20
bunch of stuff. His wife replaced the blonde girl on that seventies show when
7:26
she was going through her thing, so that was who that was. I
7:29
can't remember their names. And then it went they loved it, and then
7:32
it went to the producers and he loved it and I didn't hear anything back,
7:36
and they went with this very Indian but very flamboyantly gay character. They
7:44
changed the character. So the moral of the story is you weren't gay enough
7:47
for Hallmark. Yes, okay, that made the last three minutes worthwhile.
7:51
What is it trade? I'm just curious, is has there been a Bollywood
8:00
action or reproduction of the Notebook, because I want to see that. Oh,
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I'm sure there has. They've they've copied everything, and I'm sure i'll
8:07
find I'll find it for you. I'm sure there is. Uh. The
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one I watched the other day was a remake of Night and Day with Tom
8:16
Cruise Cameron Diaz, and it's just blatant, like there's no there's no,
8:20
there's no uh. The only thing was in the Night and Day it's about
8:24
like a battery thing or whatever. This was about a diamond because of course
8:28
it's India, it's gotta be a bad diamonds. Well, I mean,
8:30
based on a lot of the movies that you've posted, like whether it was
8:33
The Superman or the Batman or Spider Man from you know, the Bollywood versions,
8:39
Hollywoodunde's isn't even gonna bother with coming after them for copyright because there's so
8:43
nuts. They're basically covered by parody statute. Yeah, they're so bad,
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it's fantastic. Uh. My my favorite so far is the original like this
8:56
is where the doctor Evil character came from. India has to take credit for.
8:58
It's like literally an old seventies movie where the guy's got his henchmen around
9:03
the table and there's just sharks swimming behind him, like and then he opens
9:07
the floor and like one of the chairs falls in, dropping one of the
9:11
henchmen in, and you see these giant fake shark just come over and like
9:16
snatch his head and you can clearly see it's a mannequin. I'm like,
9:18
this is what this is. This is what edibles are for. Like,
9:24
if you just take an edible and watch a Bollywood movie, your life will
9:26
change. It's it's the greatest day ever or days ever, depending on how
9:33
good your edible is. Yeah, oh, Trey, I thought you had
9:39
something there, like or maybe maybe you did like five minutes ago, and
9:41
then it just left your body along with your soul. No, I just
9:48
I'm just saying it could have been a Hallmark actor and not on this fucking
9:50
shrip. Could have stuck here on Christmas. Speaking of, we have a
9:58
very special program in store for you today, on this Christmas Day, twenty
10:03
twenty three. I am clearly in vacation mode, and I hope you are
10:07
as well. Trey. I'm sure you're having to work this week, and
10:11
it's probably better for everybody that way. And Raj, I'm not sure if
10:16
you've got any Christmas gigs or other than the next Hallmark thing, which I
10:22
really do hope you get, because I would actually love to be unset at
10:26
a Hallmark movie sometimes just to see what that's like. But I decided this
10:31
year for us to share a few of our favorite things from this previous year
10:37
of shows here inside the Treehouse. And so I asked you Trey, and
10:43
I asked you Raj. He even asked it of myself. Hey, fine,
10:48
one or two of your favorite moments from the show, and we'll share
10:52
it with everyone and can relive the happiness enjoy that we hope this show brings
10:58
you, but at the very least it brings us, even when we're giving
11:03
each other just unmitigated shit, maybe especially in those moments. So today I'm
11:09
going to start with one of Raj's favorite things. And this was many episodes
11:16
ago, but it feels like yesterday, I know. And that was when
11:22
we got on a little bit of a sort of a tangent for a couple
11:28
of episodes about lesser known celebrity siblings, and our favorite, or Rag's favorite
11:35
of those, was what Don Swayze, brother of Patrick Swayzey might possibly be
11:41
doing nowadays. You have things holding up besides Don Swayzey. And every time
11:50
you say Don Swayzy now and the fact that the fact that I recognized Gary
11:54
Busey's son at the table next to us at a now defunct bar in Dallas,
11:56
Like every time you say Don Swayzey, just expect the manager of an
12:00
Applebee's, I just walk over like, Hey, how's the going, guys.
12:03
I'm Done swayze I'm the general manager, all right. So maybe the
12:07
Roadhouse reboot isn't all we thought it would be. It's just Texas Roadhouse,
12:22
long lost brother done. I'm Don swayze in Texas Roadhouse. He finds himself
12:33
short staffed. And I know they say sometimes it's uncouth to laugh at your
12:45
own stuff. That God damn it, that's funny. That is It pops
12:50
up in the weirdest places. I was literally before we decided we're going to
12:54
do this for today for Christmas the clip show, I was literally walking sam
13:01
My Dog and I just out loud for no reason, went Dot Swayzey,
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you just started laughing. I don't know. There was nothing that there was
13:11
nothing on the walk that reminded me of Don swayseey. Uh nothing even you
13:16
didn't even look up and see a Texas roadhouse or not, or look next
13:20
to where Sam had just pooped and noticed a roll. No, I was
13:24
just walking say it didn't even I was just walking Sam. We're just having
13:28
a good time. And I out loud just to myself, and I had
13:30
to look around to make sure nobody saw me. But I just out loud
13:33
went down Swayzey walking the dog, and I started thinking, I was like,
13:39
why why didn't that just happen? And I did Did you see a
13:43
doctor k or something like that? Just a canned sat on the ground.
13:54
No, I don't know what it was, but I just out loud said
13:56
it, and it made my day, Like this is Don swayze I think
14:01
the only thing that would have made that more perfect is were you looking down
14:05
when you said it? I don't Maybe, yeah, is if when you
14:09
said it you just looked up and look slightly to the right and you happen
14:13
to see Don Swayzey standing up against a tree. Yeah, and just give
14:18
you that nod like yeah. He just slowly walks away towards his shift at
14:24
the Texas roadhouse. He just puts on his Texas Roadhouse manager's polo. It's
14:35
it's time, it's time to it's time from a shift. Yeah, thanks
14:41
Don. He says that to the ladies when he's done making passionate love home.
14:46
Also hold that he's kind of like candy Man. You say his name
14:48
five times and he just appears with a you know, a stake and some
14:52
rolls. It's like, I'm done, Swayzey, and now it's time for
14:56
a shift. As he puts his cigarette out on their ground. You're in
15:11
the Treehouse. Visit us online at treehouseonair dot com. This week at the
15:16
Dallas Comedy Club in Deep Elam featured on Heart of the City on Comedy Central,
15:20
and he was a finalist in the Seattle International Comedy Competition. It's Bo
15:24
Johnson. I'm a straight man, but I think I might actually make a
15:28
better looking gay man because the men that hit on me are very good looking.
15:33
I don't necessarily think that all of the women I'm interested in feel the
15:35
same way about me, but I'm pretty sure those same women we definitely want
15:39
to have sex with. The men want so automatically. I'm gorgeous. That's
15:54
Bo Johnson this Friday, Saturday and Sunday, December twenty, ninth, thirtieth,
16:00
and thirty first. Yes, that's right, there's New Year's Eve at
16:03
the Dallascomedy Club. For tickets, go to Dallas Dashcomedyclub dot com. That's
16:07
Dallas Dashcomedyclub dot com. Your new home for comedy NDFW is the Dallas Comedy
16:11
Club. Funny happens here. Visit us online that Treehouse on Air dot com.
16:21
You're in the tree House, visit us online at Treehouseonair dot com.
16:30
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by our friends at Cook DFW
16:33
Roofing and Restoration. Give them a call for your free roof inspection. Especially
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if we get some inclement weather over the holidays, you're gonna want to give
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them a call to have them come out and check to see that your roof
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is intact, no leaks, no damage eight three three Cook DFW or COOKDFW
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dot com. Also, that first segment was brought to us by our friends
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at the Dallas Comedy Club. You can get comedy five nights a week most
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of the time at the Dallas Comedy Club in Deep Elm. Your new home
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for comedy in DFW. For ticket info, go to Dallas Dash Comedy Club
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dot com. That's Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com. And in addition to the
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comedy, they also actually have a really nice bar, which is not easy
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to come by. Nice safe bar in Deep had a great, great patio
17:21
at a phenomenal patio. Yeah, things that I was most impressed with.
17:26
Is they super nice patio? Yeah, it's really, it's really, it's
17:32
a lot of fun. And then everybody hangs out, so that's kind of
17:33
a nice thing. Like all the comics hang out in the headliners hang out,
17:36
so a lot of fun, a lot of a lot of laughter happens
17:40
there. It makes me wonder because Raj, I know you're big on conspiracies.
17:45
Yes, it makes me wonder if I'm not saying ian specifically from Dallas
17:51
Comedy Club, but what if Dallas Comedy Club in general, you know,
17:56
made the situation or the neighborhood a little sketchy, a little rough, a
18:03
little a little gunshoddy by design, So you make the heart of Deep Elum
18:10
really terrifying. So everyone will be like, I'll just go to Dallas Comedy
18:15
Club because it's right there on the safe edge. It's a fun spot and
18:17
I don't have to go all the way into Deep bell them where they like
18:18
to shoot people and run people over with their cars. Instead, will go
18:22
to Dallas Comedy Club. Maybe it's a maybe it's by design, yes,
18:26
because I would Uh. I don't know if you've ever met in person,
18:30
but a six foot three, six foot four gangly improv actor has figured out
18:37
how to make Deep Elem a nightmare. Amen, ever judge a book by
18:42
its cover, I have learned that in my life, he's just standing on
18:45
the corner like yes, and motherfucker you know. I realize now like this
18:53
is supposed to be one of our non explicit episodes, but it's Christmas,
18:57
so whatever, I will just make to check the E box next to it
19:02
when we upload this one. I just I was looking. You always have
19:06
us make a note of the time, so I was looking at the time
19:07
to say where you can edit this out or bleep this out, so for
19:11
letting us know when try and I can insert your bleep. Well normally when
19:17
I say something and I've caught myself and I see you do it, because
19:19
I'll say something and then I'll see you, like, get your notepad and
19:22
note the time. I'm like, the a whole student, uh, the
19:27
teacher's pet when the teacher leaves the room. And then I'm like, RAI
19:30
shod a naughty word. I'm going to write his name now. Yeah.
19:33
And so I didn't see you reach for the pen and that there was no
19:36
notebooks. I was like, I just kind of looked up. I was
19:37
like, maybe when we when we cut, he'll be like, man,
19:41
you can't. You can't keep saying ship like that. Hey no, no,
19:45
no r R. You want to know why dance so so relaxed about
19:47
this and flip it. He's going on vacation. I have to do the
19:49
editing. S I not he had on here and I've been found out there.
20:08
There are there are three great detectives in our world. One is Sherlock
20:12
Holmes. Two is whatever that character's name that Daniel Craig plays in those in
20:19
those two movies. I think it's a Benoir. And then it's you,
20:22
Trey. You are the third great detective on our planet. What what movies
20:29
do you want that? You know? Daniel Craig was in what movie?
20:32
Knives Out? Two of them? Two of them the Knives Out movies.
20:36
The first Knives Out, and then the second one was The Glass Onion,
20:37
a Knives Out story replays that I believe it's the great Detective Ben wi Blanc.
20:44
Do you have like a never ending gift card to an AMC, Like,
20:47
why are you going all the time to see the weirdest movies? Well?
20:52
Glass Onion was on Netflix, and I think I saw Knives Out on
20:56
Netflix as well, So like, Netflix, do you have somebody else's Netflix
21:00
passwords? Is that what you're doing? I actually have my own? Oh
21:03
wow, Okay, well at least it's mine now because my grandmother died.
21:11
Yeah, but does Netflix know that as far as Netflix is concerned, Gig
21:18
moved to the Virgin Islands in the sky. They're both heavenly, speaking of
21:27
things that are heavenly. So this is our very merry Christmas clip show.
21:33
So let's get into Trey's favorite thing of the year. This episode is a
21:37
few of our favorite things. Raj's was Don Swayze working at the Texas Roadhouse.
21:44
Tray's is a very different scenario, although still very, very, very
21:51
funny. This is one of those. Honestly, both your choices were among
21:55
my favorite things as well, so I had to kind of scramble to figure
21:57
out what the hell I was going to choose, because this one from Trey
22:00
is one that as soon as as soon as I saw the news story,
22:06
my years of experience told me we were gonna get something good out of this,
22:10
okay, and by god did we. I'm going to let the pilot
22:18
here tell you basically what happened on this flight that forced them to turn around
22:25
last Friday. Negative. It's just a bio hazard issue. You know.
22:30
We've got a passer who had diary all the way through the here, so
22:33
they want us to come back to Atlanta. Oh yeah, I can't imagine
22:37
there would be any happy passengers on that flight unless that flight just happened to
22:41
be carrying the two girls from the Two Girls. Wonder. I like this
22:49
is back to delive with us now. I love how Trey's initial discussed about
22:55
the diarrhea through the plane and Raj's You're discussed at me even mentioning the two
23:00
girls from Two Girls one cut. Yeah that that? Uh wow. I
23:07
can the fact that you remember that, and I remember being on the air
23:11
with you back over at five one o five three when we had the joy
23:15
of watching this or you you had the joy of showing us this video.
23:18
Oh, I had the joy of showing many people that video back in the
23:22
day. I never watched it all the way through. I can't physically do
23:23
it. Yeah, I think I lasted about four seconds and I was in
23:30
a corner like the kid from the Blair Witch Project to the corner just waiting
23:34
for death. That opening, the opening music of that will literally cause me
23:41
to, you know, gag that it is lobbying. That's one of those
23:48
I need to check to see if it has any sort of copyright on it,
23:49
because if it doesn't, I'll turn that sucker into a bumper on this
23:52
show. Now that we're just looking back, now, have we checked to
23:59
see if the the if the that was the Cowboys team playing going to Buffalo,
24:03
maybe that was Maybe that's what's going on. Oh, that would make
24:07
sense, that would absolutely Yeah. I think I think I think we've cracked
24:15
another case. Gentlemen, Wait, wait, and Dan, you brought up
24:18
a really something very interesting. If there is a copyright, you know,
24:23
infringement on two Girls, one Cup, I I would I would be willing
24:26
to do it, play it. And then because I want to note,
24:30
I want the guy to come forward who made that bleeping thing. I want
24:34
to see the face of of of evil. Good point, Let's go back
24:44
to our diarrhea flight. I'm going to let the pilot here tell you basically
24:53
what happened on this flight that forced them to turn around last Friday. Negative.
25:00
It's just a bio hazard issue. You know, we've had a passer
25:03
who had diary all the way through the airplane. So if they wanted to
25:07
come back to Atlanta, Oh yeah, I can't imagine there would be any
25:11
happy passengers on that flight. Unless that flight just happened to be carrying the
25:15
two girls from the Two Girls one Up, they wouldn't even have to turn
25:22
around. Look like pac Man going down the aisle. I'm laughing, but
25:40
I also need to throw up that. See had Trey, had you not
25:48
chosen that as one of your favorite things, it would have been it would
25:49
have been mine. So kudos, you know what, like a little round
25:55
of applause for us? Yeah, yes we did. That was a good
25:57
job right there. That's that's an entertaining stuff because, like, there are
26:00
lots of radio shows out there that strive to be funny on a daily basis.
26:03
Yet we trip over at you know, two or three times a week
26:11
and sometimes hurt ourselves in the process. You're in the Treehouse, visit us
26:30
online at Treehouse on air dot com. Let's talk to Daniel Cook in the
26:37
Treehouse now eight three three Cook DFW for your free roof inspection and if they're
26:42
obviously in need of any repairs, they can do that for it. You
26:45
want to do that sooner rather than later. But I am curious. I
26:48
know you're gonna take you know, Christmas off, unless there's just some crazy
26:51
happens that someone needs your help with. Outside of that, I'm curious.
26:55
What does Christmas Morning look like at Daniel and Kerry Cook's house this particular Christmas,
27:00
We're a little excited. We get to have Grayson h come over.
27:04
He's going to spend Christmas Eve with us and Christmas Day and he's four years
27:10
old now, so he's our grandson. And it's going to be fun because
27:14
we haven't had kids at size and quite some time obviously, so our girls
27:19
are twenty three and seventeen. But this year will be special. We have
27:23
carries folks down from Missouri and uh, we plan on making that a big,
27:29
a big deal like it should be, you know, for the young
27:32
kids. And so Grayson's gonna be here. We're gonna have all the setup
27:36
for Christmas beforehand, and uh, you know, Christmas morning, let him
27:41
wake up and see what Santa brought and just enjoy each other and watch some
27:45
football. Probably I think there's some basketball on. Hopefully the weather's not supposed
27:49
to be too bad. It's supposed to rain a little bit maybe, but
27:52
we're not sure yet. So hopefully you get to go outside, play with
27:55
some toys, you know, just all those casual things that you, you
27:57
know, you look forward to, especially have young kids. So really that's
28:00
awesome this year. Yeah. Well, I'm a little envious of Grayson.
28:03
I remember when I was that age and running out into the living room to
28:07
see what Santa had brought in the middle of the night, and so it's
28:11
very exciting. So I'm excited for you and Carrie too to be able to
28:14
have that again. So have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas with Grayson and the
28:18
entire family from us in the treehouse and cook THEFW roofing and restoration. In
28:23
case the reindeer do a little damage on your roof, give them a call.
28:27
Eight three three cook DFW or that website to see all their excellent work
28:32
is of course cookdfw dot com. It's the Treehouse. Let's get Jacqueline from
28:37
Brooks Plumbing into the Treehouse now two one, four, three, six,
28:41
eight, thirty eight thirty eight four those plumbing ones and needs. I'm curious,
28:45
Jacqueline, now that Christmas is upon us, what does Christmas look like
28:49
at your house? Christmas morning? What's going on? We I always go
28:56
to my mom's house. I'm an only child, so it's fine for me
29:00
to make that commitment. We do the same breakfast cast role every year,
29:04
which I love and am absolutely obsessed with. It's like a biscuit egg chizo
29:11
thing with salsa. It's fantastic. There's a lot of mimosas that are floating
29:17
around, and then we open the Christmas gifts and then it's pretty much just
29:22
hang out in your pajamas until my mom's side of the family makes their way
29:25
over there. She's one of nine kids. Everybody's married and has five more
29:29
kids, and so it ends up being a very full house and lots of
29:34
hand gestures, lots of merriment, and that's just kind of it. In
29:40
a nutshell. You had me at breakfast cast role in mimosas man. That
29:44
sounds like a great time. Listen. I can do this recipe in a
29:47
flat couple seconds. You literally spam. You pam an eight and nine and
29:52
a half by thirteen pan. You lay flat biscuits down on top of it.
29:55
You whip twelve scrambled eggs. Throw those on there. One pound of
29:59
grilled sausage. Let that can deeal in the fridge overnight, wake up,
30:02
put two cans of cream and mushroom soup on top, and then you put
30:04
on cheese and you throw it in the oven for like an hour and forty
30:07
five minutes, and when it comes out, cut it in the cube and
30:10
eat it with salsa. It is the bill Bomb. And I have a
30:12
feeling that if enough people eat that on Christmas morning, I see what you're
30:17
doing, they're gonna need to call you to come fix those pipes. One
30:22
four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. That's two one four, three
30:26
six eight thirty eight thirty eight or Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You're listening
30:33
to the Treehouse. This goes online that Treehouse on air dot com. All
30:44
right, we are back in the treehouse. Now on a very special Christmas
30:48
clip show. Yeah, very Christmas. Everybody avoiding the family with us here.
30:55
We'll get to my uh my clip here in just a moment. I
30:59
want to Debt and Trey. You sent a text message. You said it's
31:07
of your Christmas sweater that you were supposed to have at the road show,
31:10
but it hadn't arrived yet. Yes, and it still hasn't arrived. But
31:12
and I'm very disappointed. Okay. I wanted you all to see it because
31:17
it is kind of a masterpiece. Okay, all right, Well let's save
31:21
that for the very end. Okay, all right, because if I know
31:23
you, it's gonna be worthwhile. Speaking of Christmasy things, I think my
31:30
big head has been in the way for the majority of this episode. But
31:33
let me just turn slightly. Can you see the TV screen over there?
31:37
Yes? Can you make out what that is? Glasses on and leans in,
31:44
raj leans in. Hey, so both of you guys are near sighted?
31:47
Got it? No presence? It's a it's a it's a Christmasy screen
31:56
saver channel on the Dish network. Believe it's channel. There's a few options.
32:00
It's like channel one ninety eight or one ninety nine. I think this
32:04
one's on one oh one. It's called Santa's Workshop three. Santa's Workshop three.
32:09
Yeah, I don't know if that means there's a one and a two
32:12
on some other channel, or if this is just the third year they've done
32:16
it so they call it Santa's Workshop three. I don't know. But it's
32:20
got Santa in a chair. What's he doing? Hang on, he's just
32:24
sitting in a red chair in front of the fire. There's a train going
32:28
around the room. Oh no, I have a I have a spectrum.
32:35
I imagine Spectrum may have something similar because I know on a like on a
32:38
Roku TV, when the screensaver comes on there, it'll be holiday themed as
32:43
well, or they'll change it by the seasons, and I'll have a tendency
32:46
to stare at that for far too long and try to pick up the movie
32:50
references that I get the little Easter eggs, but I got this Santa channel
32:55
on, just you know, to try to lean into the feeling of this.
33:00
We gotcha all whilst wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Well, I am celebrating
33:07
Christmas in Paradise. So all right, so let's get to now my selections.
33:15
That's right. I said selections, because, in true Dan fashion,
33:20
when I asked you guys to pick your favorite clips from our previous year inside
33:24
the Treehouse, you both immediately knew which one you wanted. Raj you went
33:29
with Don Swazian Texas Roadhouse. Trey Met you went with the Diarrhea Flight and
33:35
the the pac Men Ladies Cleaning It for everybody. Me, however, I
33:39
have a difficult time choosing one of anything. I learned a term earlier this
33:45
year. It's called analysis proalysis, and I suffer from it all the goddamn
33:49
time. Don't tell my wife has said that. But I just had a
33:57
really difficult time choosing one. And I think that's a good problem to have,
34:00
because there's lots of good stuff from the show throughout the year. It's
34:02
the stuff that we post on social media to you know, to let you
34:06
know, hey, what's in this current episode, or you know, here's
34:09
what you're missing if you haven't listened in a while. There's some good stuff.
34:13
Yeah, I'm gonna stop you there. You should have said. One
34:15
thing that it has just cracked me up though, is now there's a new
34:20
thing that gen Z complains that they have menu anxiety. Oh, no,
34:24
it just we have been having menu anxiety all our lives and it's hey,
34:29
if you think it's bad, now, wait till you get into our relationship
34:31
and then you have to answer the question what do you want to eat?
34:35
I'm glad you brought that up, Trey, because that's gonna be up in
34:37
one of our next episodes called The Leftovers of twenty twenty three, one of
34:43
the stories that we've had on our docket but we haven't been able to get
34:47
to. We're gonna get to that one before the end of the year because
34:51
obviously Trey has thoughts and I'm with you. Yeah, I just think so
34:54
consider that a tease for for the next episode. It's about to you by
34:59
the chi the Cheesecake Factory. All right, scratch that punchline off in my
35:04
note, you'll forget and bring it up next time anyway, I will so
35:12
here, I would like to make sure I get the right one. So
35:15
the first one I chose was one that we were all here for, and
35:21
that was if anything, on this show, we make sure to make fun
35:28
of ourselves at any possible opportunity, and this is one of those times where
35:35
I embraced my own misery my own suffering, all for the laughter of others.
35:45
Because I needed to talk about the neurological exam. My wife made me
35:49
take second and the results of it, like st Dan the pious. Here,
35:57
where's that cross? It's actually there's one right there. You want to
36:05
go hang yourself up on it all hit play. I need a bigger one
36:07
that that's not quite big enough. I think that's only good for like one
36:09
hand. All right, let's see if this is the one. Here we
36:16
go. Here tell you basically that's the diarrhea of flight. Hang on,
36:23
but here we go. And I went to that neurologist. It mainly focused
36:28
on traditional head injuries football. There's a couple of times as a kid,
36:34
I just run into things head first, you know, normal stuff. Were
36:37
you the kid with a big pencil at the big jumbo pencil that he had
36:42
to write because you said, look as a kid running head first in the
36:45
things that we had. That kid too, his name was Billy, and
36:49
he had he had his name on his belt and I and I don't think
36:51
that was for anything other than he didn't know that that there's another belt.
36:57
Can you say, were you the kid that had the big pencil? What
36:59
do you like how big of the pencil, the big jumbo pencil for the
37:02
kid that did not you know, one that was roughly the same size as
37:07
John Holmes crank. Yes, basically I did. I had the big pencil.
37:14
This is making so much sense now, hang on, it gets better.
37:15
Not only did I have the big red pencil, it also had my
37:21
name. Clearly I still hang my head in shame at that admission, but
37:37
it was oddly cathartic. See it's like therapy. Uh did you did you
37:45
forget that you had the big the big pencil or no? No? I
37:47
had that big pencil for a long time. Even while after I graduated to
37:52
normal number two pencils, I still had, for sentimental sake, the big
37:57
red pencil with my name on it. How did they put your name on
38:02
it? I never asked did they? Did they? Did they etch it
38:06
in or did they put like did they put like a little label? I
38:12
think it was a label so they wouldn't bottle label maker for this or did
38:21
they like individually? That pencil was not the only thing they had a label
38:23
for me. There was one other There was one other thing I wanted to
38:31
play for you, partly because raj. You weren't. You weren't in the
38:37
treehouse for this particular episode. Okay, I wanted to make sure you got
38:39
a chance to hear it before twenty twenty three went away. Right are you
38:45
ready? I am. This is a story about I believe underage sex across
38:51
the country. Okay. That someone had done like a study or a research
38:54
type thing. Okay, analysis uncovered that Mississippi was this date with the worst
39:00
overall STD infection rate nationwide. They had an infection rate of one two hundred
39:07
and sixty six per one hundred thousand residents. Wow, a lot. They
39:10
can't teach anything else, And damn sure you're not teaching sex ed Speaking of
39:15
sex ed, young people are the ones being urged the most to be particularly
39:20
vagulant, I mean vigilant. That was that was not the time to trip
39:28
over my own tongue or the perfect time. But I can't remember if it
39:43
was Robert or somebody else that sent me a message saying like, do you
39:46
do that on purpose? It was like, what does it matter? Purpose?
39:49
Not on purpose? It doesn't matter as long as you as long as
39:51
you as long as you got some enjoyment out of it. It doesn't matter
39:53
if I did it intentionally or not. Yeah. I remember years ago,
39:59
and I think it was one of the and this would just let you know
40:01
how creepy old white congressman can be. It was some It was a congressman
40:07
from Kentucky that was trying to get the age of consent lowered to fourteen.
40:14
And I was like, who brings up that legislation? I remember that it
40:21
wasn't that Was that this year or was it last year? Last year?
40:23
Yeah? Yeah, he brought us like this what I'd like to bring to
40:28
the table. We need to lower the age of consent to fourteen. I'm
40:30
like, oh, he's trying to get ahead of a scandal. Yeah.
40:35
I think that's one of those where somewhere, somewhere in the Republican Party of
40:38
Kentucky they need to tell him like, look, we said we want to
40:42
know what the young people think. It doesn't mean want to change the age
40:44
of consent. Jesus well, they think I'm handsome. My cousin Sally single.
40:55
Right now, as much as I want to go, we have to
41:04
we have to show. You have to show us your Christmas sweater tray,
41:07
all right, check your check your phone, my phone is charging, so
41:14
I can't see it. Oh that might be. I'm really glad you're not
41:17
driving right now. Ra. This is one of those where for a living
41:28
that I sometimes make well, I make a living describing things for people that
41:32
may not be able to see them. Right, I've been doing that for
41:35
twenty five years now. This may be one of the most difficult things I
41:39
have to describe ever. Okay, but I'm gonna try. So I'm gonna
41:43
describe it, and then I'm gonna show it to your raj. Okay,
41:47
So this is the sweater tray you wanted to wear at the road show.
41:51
Yes, if you if this sweater had arrived and you wore this at the
41:54
road show, I don't think we could have had a road show because the
41:59
best thing would have happened as soon as you walk through the door and we
42:00
saw this sweater. Okay, but at least we get at least we get
42:06
it now, all right. So it's a red Christmas sweater with green and
42:12
white decoration across the top, underneath some snowflakes. It says in red letters,
42:17
Merry Christmas. Then along the bottom, also in red letters with a
42:22
white background above some snowflakes. It says you filthy animal, like an home
42:28
alone. And then the center of the sweater is the best part, so
42:34
the words Merry Christmas, filthy animal, got it underneath Merry Christmas and above
42:38
you filthy animal. Is a depiction of a reindeer, but it's not any
42:43
traditional reindeer. No, no, this is actually this is actually Trey's dog,
42:49
Daisy's face on the face of a reindeer while wearing a Christmas sweater.
42:53
Christmas sweater. Merry Christmas. That's great. And she has antlers on top
43:04
of her ears, and she has little antlers on top of her ears,
43:06
which would be hysterical because antlers would weigh down that applehead of hers. She
43:14
looked like the Grinch's dog. Yeah, you were won that, Bay.
43:23
This is this is. I think he's the greatest Christmas sweater I've ever seen.
43:30
And I think I think, Trey, let's go ahead and do this.
43:34
Will you send this to Chris Cone at the Pirate Printing Yeah, I
43:38
want to go ahead and get ahead of the curve for next year's shirts slash
43:43
sweaters because I need one of them. I need I need like ten of
43:46
these. She's even smiling that's what that's what made me so happy. I
43:57
was like, there's a small on her face. Oh this has been fun.
44:02
Merry Christmasy, guys, ra happy Monday. I didn't even know it
44:13
was Monday. You're welcome, Tray, I don't know. I mean,
44:25
you don't get meat by Belt Day. But yeah, Merry Christmas to you guys,