Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 42 | Family Is a Team Sport

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Ep. 42 | Family Is a Team Sport · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:06
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Beth Key, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 0:27
  All right, hey guys, I'm Jeremy. I'm Jeff. And today we wanna ask you, are you managing a collection of individuals or building a team? So one of the things that a lot of people don't know about modern parenting is that it's almost 100% designed to build up children as individuals. You won't find a lot of tools out there that help parents, moms and dads figure out how to turn their family, the individuals in their family into a team.
• 0:53
  those tools just don't hardly exist because that idea has sort of been lost from our culture. And so Jeff and I have really been captured by this idea that the Bible talks about family primarily as a multi-generational team on mission. And so I just want to chat for a minute about what's the difference between raising kids as individuals versus trying to develop a team?
• 1:15
  Yeah, so the easiest analogy that helped me a lot is I played sports my whole life, baseball my whole life, 17 years, all the way through college. And so the team stuff comes pretty natural. For most people, it comes natural to us, too, to kind of understand, okay, a coach, a team, a mission, you're going towards somewhere, you have to practice, etc. But the...
• 1:34
  the dichotomy or not dichotomy, but the comparison I like to use is the collection of individuals isn't a team, that's more like a club. And so I kind of talk about the difference between a club and a team. And for me, I was raised in lower income housing, single mom, food stamps, et cetera. And so because of that,
• 1:52
  socioeconomic status, like clubs actually, like are actually almost what took care of me. I was in afterschool clubs because my mom had to work. I was in preschool clubs because my mom had to go, you know, like just single parenting, you're almost clubs are almost your parent, your second parent in a sense. And so I was in all these afterschool clubs and things and activities when I was younger. And I remember like, I can't even probably name one kid from any of those clubs.
• 2:13
  I probably can't name the point of any of those clubs. Like one of them was – actually, I remember one of them was Knowledge Bowl. I remember. So it was like Jeopardy, but for middle schoolers. And I loved that one. But like – And so –
• 2:26
  But the biggest thing there is though a club is just more of a home or a house for, like you said, a collection of individuals. When a team is more about one entity, one organism. And the best way I say it is, or I think to understand it is a club is about shared interest and then a team is about shared mission and shared interest. Like, you know, like a book reading club, you all show up because you're reading a book, but you don't, it's just an interest, right? So like once the interest goes away, there's nothing that's strong enough to bind that DNA together.
• 2:56
  um, a mission oriented DNA that then creates a family because it's more of a DNA. So it actually fuses you together to the point where I could name almost, you know, a hundred teammates of mine, I could name, you know, super special moments in years, et cetera. So I think even though the actual amount of hours in some sense on certain teams were the exact same as the amount I was in a club. So I just think that's a really interesting distinction. And I think to me, it comes down between the difference of like a family, uh, like a lot of those teams felt like families. And then also we were on mission. We were chasing something higher collectively and
• 3:25
  when in a book reading club or an after school club, you don't do any of that. Yeah. So every team has like a really clear goal, right? And that's what makes it. So every, that's why we love our kids to join teams. It's like, and there's all kinds of different rules for teams. Nobody worries on a team. If, if somebody is a quarterback and somebody else is the running back and somebody else is a wide receiver, you don't say, well, that's not equal. That's not fair.
• 3:45
  On a team, you want diversity. You want people to play different roles because what unifies them is the mission, like you're describing. It isn't your individual interest. But the way that we raise kids today and because families lack mission, the only tools left that even make sense are tools that help build up our kids only as individuals. And so there's a constant focus.
• 4:05
  fight in the family for resources, a constant comparison about fairness, because you're not actually leading your kids to collectively try as a team to accomplish an amazing goal. And that culture, creating a family team culture is completely different. And there's almost nothing more powerful than a family team. If you think about some of the most
• 4:24
  The greatest things that are ever achieved in human history, a lot of them were by multi-generational teams that were working collectively together for good or for ill. But it's a powerful unit that we sort of have just lost sight of the fact that it's up to you. But would you want to raise your family as a team? That's a question a lot of dads have never even been asked. They think the only thing on offer is to raise their kids as a bunch of small individuals.
• 4:49
  Yeah, I'll add one last thing that you just made me think of with the club analogy and picture again is that, yeah, because there's not that shared mission and then it becomes a drain on resources, then it becomes about everything being fair. And again, that's what a club was. I think back to after school clubs and it's like, it's just all about like, oh, Johnny got the 10 goldfishies. I want 10 goldfish, right? And it's like, you know, it's when with a team, there's a level at which you're willing to willingly sacrifice because the thing you're...
• 5:16
  accomplishing gives you greater joy and depth and meaning. And so you're like, oh, I'm okay if I don't get this because I want to go somewhere bigger and greater with the team. With a club, there is no, like you're not going anywhere. It's more of like a circle that's just all looking at each other. And then it becomes, so then the thing just becomes resources and what's fair. So it's really interesting.
• 5:35
  Yeah. So really think about what kind of family do you want to create? And if you want to design your family to be a team, be aware that you're going to have to sort of bring online a whole new set of tools, ones that are much more analogous to what happens on sports teams than what happens in clubs. And that's why a lot of a lot of these tools are going to be describing to you guys really fit more of that team paradigm than individual paradigm, because there's just not a lot of that out there.
• 5:59
  Hey guys, we know it's really challenging to try to build your family team when all the tools you've grown up with or seen essentially are aimed at only helping develop family members as a collection of individuals. That's why we launched familyteams.com, where you can find all the tools we've developed with tons of resources at different price points, free courses, videos, writings, etc. that help you build up and transform you and your family into a multi-generational team on mission. Check out all the resources we have over at familyteams.com.