Latest / Inspiring Stories / Top Five Inspired Stories for 2023

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Top Five Inspired Stories for 2023 · Inspiring Stories

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Thank you for listening to de Pictures Media Radio. You rat you readything to
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me? Oh well, jus well not a bad stop alone. I just
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see soap lash start along? Is it at these events? Welcome back everybody.
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To wrap up twenty twenty three, we're going to have the top five
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interviews I did with people who talked about relationships in building their business. They
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wanted to show us how we could use relationship building skills to attract customers and
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to retain those customers in our business so that we have a happy and fulfilling
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business that is full of our ideal customers. They also want to talk to
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talk about how instead of building systems that try to work again to against humanity,
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that we build systems that work with humanity, to work with our nature.
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How we naturally build relationships, and how we naturally just want to live
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our lives without worries of where's the next paycheck coming from or worries about where
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is that next customer going to come from? That we build their lives in
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a way that is centered around the human relationship and not centered around making money.
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So why don't we listen to some of the well, the top five
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interviews I did around this, and some of them are actually going to talk
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about how beautiful our human diversity truly is. So sit back and you're going
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to hear the first ten minutes of each of those interviews in this next hour.
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Welcome back. Everybind's our next guest. She is passionate and empathetic and
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she's into sales. Now now I know everybody. They have this idea of
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like the car salesman who's slimy, ekey, slimy, and he tries to
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talk in the things that you don't want. He tries to bulldoze you into
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into whatever car he can get you into. And that is not the ideal
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idea of selling. Selling isn't about teaching people to or trying to talk them
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into this hey garbage they don't want. Selling is really about building a relationship
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with a person so you understand what they're needs are, with their fears are,
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how they think kind of being that best friend so that when a need
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does come along that you can say, hey, I got something, they
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can help that. Okay. So one of the experts on that is a
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new friend of mine and she's really good good at being your friend is Darlene
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per Day and we connected over some over quite a quite a nupper things,
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because, after all, she's been selling for over twenty five years, and
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she's been in some of the one of the leadership roles of company sales departments,
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and she does it in an authentic way. She doesn't want to teach
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you selling so that you feel icky about it. She wants you to talk
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about your business in a way that people, Hey, they want to jump
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on board and be a part of what it is that you have to offer.
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They want you to want to invite you into their lives so that you
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can help them, so you can be of service. Relationships are the number
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one key that she says to building a good relationship is the key to selling,
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not trying to force feed a bunch of garbage that nobody really wants anyway,
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So why don't we listen to what Darlene has to say in our next
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episode to one Elene, my new best friend, welcome to the show.
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Thank you so much for having me, and yes, I love that we
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became instant besties. It turned out that we grew up in pretty much so
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close to the same area, and we found like a whole bunch of commonalities
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and more importantly, and this is why I wanted you to come on the
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show. And we're going to start off with you talking about use how you
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started in sales, but more I want to get in that conversation of how
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you build relationships because we both believe in strong relationships and that's the core to
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everything, and especially if you're trying to be in business in the community.
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Right. Yeah, absolutely, well getting started in sales, I feel like
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I'm in sales my whole life. I worked in retail for many years,
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so throughout high school and college. You know, that's how I paid my
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car insurance and all of that type of stuff. But I really developed a
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lot of those sales skills and relationship building, not even knowing it, being
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a kid being sixteen years old and not even realizing what I was doing,
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but seeing the results from the clients. The nice thing about sales is that
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if you look at it from the perspective of helping someone, it's really very
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rewarding. So working in retail, I was helping people find outfits or clothes
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or whatever it may be. And seeing that person really find what they want
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or seeing that perfect gift gives you that adrenaline rush. It gives you that
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dopamine right where you feel like you're making a different So that kind of got
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me hooked way back when. And then I just continued my path. And
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then eventually when I've sold retail, I've sold B two C, I've sold
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B to B and now I'm you know, in B to B and in
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coaching. Yeah, and well your coaching practice though you I did this crazy
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voice in your intro like that. You remember the late night TV the guy
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come buy this car. I did they create voice, you know, the
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big announcer. But everybody when they think about sales, they think about that
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slimy you know, the guy, the guy in the white suit, all
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this slick black hair, trying to sell you this hunk of junk car.
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Yeah, but selling is is Wait, that's not even close to what what
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you teach selling really is because you're teaching people to sit back, listen and
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build build friendships in relationships with people. Yeah, well, there's a huge
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difference between transactional sales and relationships sales. Even yes, at the end of
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the day, it's transactional to make a sale, but you could still build
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relationships if your goal of having that sales conversation is truly trying to help that
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person, And I say it's empathetic selling. Putting yourself in that person situation.
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What would you want to know? What would you want somebody to have
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your back? What would you want to be told about something to make sure
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it's the right fit, regardless of what the outcome is. That's where the
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magic happens, because the transaction is trust. You're building trust in that conversation,
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and you're building that relationship versus just getting a sale, because that leads
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to long term engagement, that leads to referrals, that leads to client satisfaction,
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and there's just a whole spray of beautiful things that happened when you enter
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that relationship with that mindset. Yeah, yeah, that's so true. I
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know when when I because because I guess I still am in sales, because
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I had to kind of well put this in quotation works. I had to
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sell you the idea of coming on to coming onto this podcast, right,
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and there's the whole process, and so I had this again in quotation works,
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sell you. But in that particular instance, it's more like an invitation.
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It's not like I did I did this, Uh, this farmer's market
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thing where we were selling these meat pies. Mm hmm. You had to
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scream over the top of the crowd, Hey, we got the best meat
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pies ever. Yeah, and that isn't that that that's who's the loudest voice
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in the crowd kind of kind of Yeah. And with what with Introgy bringing
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you on to the podcast and bring you on to the show, it's more
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of a gentle Hey, come on, I like what you what is you
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have to say? I like your message. You're spreading love around our planet,
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right, And there's huge differences between those, right. Yeah. And
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I think also what people don't realize is just because their title within their job
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is not sales, we all sell in some way, shape or form,
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whether it's pitching your ideas to your boss or true your clients, or sharing
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value or even convincing your husband to do another DIY project or you know,
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I'm not using that as you know still example or anything, but you know,
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we're always we're always selling things. And really, if you do it
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well, it's an art of listening, actively listening, understanding what the person
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is saying. So many times people have a sales script in their head where
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regardless what the person is saying, or what their pain points are or whatever.
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The other person is just trying to get out what they want to say,
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their information and they're not really taking that feedback. When you actively listen
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and again empathize with Okay, where is this person coming from, then you're
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going to be able to figure out is my solution the best thing for this
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person? You had that your view with me if it was two ways right.
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You were telling me about your podcast, but you were also seeing if
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I was going to be a good guest for your audience. So if that
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didn't happen, if one part failed, we could as friends. We could
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have a great conversation. So the end of that conversation still would have been
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a relationship, but not necessarily a guest for your show. Does that make
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sense? What something we can so fucking back everybody. I want to tell
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you a little bit about our next guest. As a little girl, she
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played hr and she's even sold shares of her own company. She fired her
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mother at the age of five, and she has been success people operations,
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consulting, business and speaking internationally while battling more diagnosises than a seventy year old
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She's had quite the journey and wouldn't have it any other way. She is
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neurodiverse, with things like bipolar, OCD and mesofania. She has physical diversions,
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multiple diagnoses, including a seizure disorder. She's successful with the diagnosis,
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not in spite of them. Her neurodiversity has become her superpower and her mission
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of inclusion, innovation, integrity, in enjoying, speaking, and providing actionable
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advice about diversity, inclusion and innovative hiring. She is hr tech, an
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entrepreneur, Nora diverse. She says, I am energetic and enjoy using comedy,
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but be aware I am bold and while I can certainly filter my language,
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I always tell it how it is and I wouldn't have it any other
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way. She is spoken in front of the United Nations delegates and aims London
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School of Business and many other places where she tries to spread this word of
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innovation, neurodiversity and inclusion. So we want to talk to her about how
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she got her business started, but we also want to want to hear how
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she advocates for inclusion. Something we can all right, So let's let's start
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off with you put in your bio. This this story of you being five
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and firing your mother. I just thought that was hilarious. So why don't
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we start off how you actually got started doing your business, and then we'll
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move into why inclusion is so important for you because your business is actually based
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in the inclusion, isn't it? Yes, yes, yes it is.
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So I got into so starting off with a little kid who grew up watching
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an HR and recruiting for fall and even firing my own father was probably pretty
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rude. I also hired her multiple times, so I don't maga seem like
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it was fire her, but kind of growing up on that it really an
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act. And I also have a wonderful father who was my stay at her
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preparent for a while, who also always thought that the college, well,
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he teaches music and he would take me with them to class sometimes. I
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also had the benefit of really seeing what true education look like. I'm very
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proud of my father. He's a superb teacher. And so I got and
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I ended up working in a recruiting business. I came to all the different
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things that I didn't like about the things I loved were obvious, right,
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But then there were a lot of things that were not being done well and
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processed in point, and also were being treated both on the client and candidate
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side and agency recruiting, which just sort of appalling to me. Really just
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this very inhue approach and this idea treating human commodities and not taking into account
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what individual clients needed, and just it was, it was just didn't make
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a lot of sense to me. And so I struck out, with the
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blessing of the person who owned that company, struck out on my own,
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and just kind of ran from there. So I started off focusing very much
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on the hiring affect and then and more into the HR and the consulting aspect
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because they were things that I had done as well, skill sets I'd built
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up up worked with tons of startups throughout my entire career. And it's it's
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been it's been a lot of fun. But yeah, the then the it
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evolved more and more and more into the inclusion aspect and realizing very much that
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was the problem inclusion and lack of understanding other people. So and when when
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I say inclusion, a lot of people kind of seem confused about what that
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what that means. And so inclusion is simply welcoming in people as they are
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and then supporting them and working in a way that's not and that is that
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is for them as an individual. That's really all it is. It's very
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very simple, and and try to everybody. I've had to, well,
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who does inclusion apply to? Everybody? Inclusion can't be exclusive. It's in
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the word include every time. It's for literally, it's for all the humans.
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That's that's who it's for. And it can mean understanding groups that you
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never understood before. I mean, understanding marginalized communities, But ultimately it boils
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down in a cruddy human right, yeah, kind of where it's that?
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So? Uh and then you asked me, oh, yeah, where why
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I ended up with this? So? I have six invisible disabilities, huge
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gamut of diet, both physicalities which if anybody doesn't know, that's just a
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medically visible and or diagnosical difference in how a person processes information and stimuli.
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DHD autism in my case, OCD is one of my more prevalent ones,
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as well as the bipolar disorder. And so people always think it's because I
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must have experienced some like discrimination and this kind of thing, right, But
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that that wasn't I guess I did a little bit, but never never that
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badly. Mostly the OCD would get me because people didn't like that I insisted
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on doing things correct and that seemed to stuck me in the workplace. You
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know, I wanted to do things the best way, and it would kind
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of people would get frustrated with that. When I saw things broken, I
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needed them. That's part of those right. So it wasn't so much the
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discriminating discrimination that I experienced. I saw something to be fixed, and my
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little brain just goes must fix started out to do it. Yeah. Well,
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I like what you said about that it should include all the human beings.
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And in my fight for for human rights, you know, and and
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what I discovered was that it wasn't discrimination came about because people were trying to
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define people, different types of people out of being human beings. Yes was
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yeah, like if you know, if you don't look down an act like
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this, you're not a human. Yeah, yeah, that was. That
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was one of one of the biggest biggest hurdles I found with with with because
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because inclusion is quite simple. It's like, hey, he walks on to
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it has two arms out and in in a brain, you know, like
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a human shape brain. It's like, okay, these must be a human
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being. It's like very simple, right, yeah, it should be it
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should be yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not. And and and
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for a lot of people to the ego defense is a huge part of what
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goes wrong. So that's that naturally occurring mechanism that we all have in our
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brain. So our brain inherently needs to be correct. Right, That's there's
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science and you can look that up. There's some wonderful studies on that if
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you google it. So the ego mechanism they built into designed to help us
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when we're little, tiny children and back in the hunt or gatherer times,
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right, like for actual safety reasons. But as we become adult humans in
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today's world, it kind of quits serving its sight and it just actually starts
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hindering us. It actually stops us because what happens when we get new information
24:36
instead of inquiring about that like a childhood right, because what do kids do
24:41
when you ask why? Why? Why? You know? It's brain trying
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to trying to learn, right, And instead of doing that as adults,
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we just go no, I'm right, no, I'm right, no,
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I'm Every single time you can see it on social media all the days of
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your life. We just every any even remotely controversial compost anything that hasn't you'll
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see somebody on there throwing up ego defense. And that's that thing that that
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when we when somebody says something that's different from us, we argue with them
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instead of asking about it. And so when one of the things that I
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really work with clients on, whether I'm teaching a class or whether I'm consulting
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with company, is to break that ego defense. How to do that,
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how to shut that down response something we can our next guest, she is
26:03
a thought disturber. I mean, we're gonna ask her what that really means.
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What does it mean to actually disturb people's thoughts? But in a positive
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way. Jam Barlow she experienced the joy of being at the height of her
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business development career in two thousand and seven working with a global pharmaceutical company aligned
26:27
with her strengths. Three months after being assigned a new manager, she was
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positioned to fail. This forced her to look at things a little bit differently
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and in which she was She wasn't aligned with the with the next position that
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she that she received, and it manifested nothing but stress. But stress and
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distress man created, uh, physicality caused they caused her great loss uh personally
27:07
and professionally. After experiencing the negative psychological effects and physical effects of having a
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bad job fit, Jan vowed as her life's work to help position people according
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to their strengths so they could actually have the right job and the best career.
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And it was kind of these things that made her start to find herself
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with the title of being a thought disturber because she made people think about their
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life and their career differently than what they would have previously to working with her.
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So why don't we welcome Jan Barlow to the show and find out how
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we can have our thoughts disturbed and learn how to think a little bit differently
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about ourselves and about the world we live in. So Jan, welcome to
28:38
the show. And I think I got it wrong in the introduction. I
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think I called you a thought disturber instead of a disruptor. But the result
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is the same. And why don't we start here because you had an event
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happened in two thousand and seven that caused you not only mental stress, but
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emotional stress because of a bad job. Yeah, it was actually a bad
29:08
managerial fit. So I was working for a global pharmaceutical company. I actually
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created my own position there and I had the best you know of both worlds
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clinical education trainer for the doctors and staff, and sales and marketing, so
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I could literally when we sold them a million dollar laser that's used in lasik,
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I was able to go in train them on how to use the device,
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hire the right people for the team, you know, to work the
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laser, and also be a patient counselor, and then put the really their
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business development plan together to start making money right and market their services. So
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I loved it. It's it's like starting a new business for you know,
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you go in, you sell a product or service, and you start that
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side of their business and then you move on to the next doctor. So
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I really enjoyed that. Was recognized by our biggest competitor and was hired away
30:08
from Outcome. At that time, they were going through a merger and actition
30:12
as well, so they needed people who could just here's the goal, hit
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the ground running and start you know, doing the job and not really have
30:22
any ramp up time. So when I crossed over, I made sure that
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I, you know, when I spoke to the manager because I loved my
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job with out come, so I really didn't need to, you know,
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change jobs. But when I was talking to the manager who hired me,
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She's like, Jan, this will be a good fit. We work well
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together, you know, so it was a no brainer. But two months
30:48
after I joined, they moved my manager and gave me a new manager.
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And she did not really like the fact that she didn't get to pick me,
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and how managers do they want to hire their own people, and so
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she changed my job. So that clearly I went from working in my strengths
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to working in my weaknesses, so to speak. And I just thought I
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had to try harder, right, and that just didn't work. My palms
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started to peel, my hair started to fall out, and it just really
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mentally, emotionally, physically. I was at the top of my game and
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was at the bottom within seven to nine months. Wow, No, I
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do know that because I, hey, I didn't always owe my own business.
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That I remember working for a manager in the corporate world and it was
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really wasn't a good fit. And I was just trying to hang in there,
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you know. I figured, O, well, eventually I'll get enough
31:57
sales. I'll get these guys approval, and I'll in I'll build enough relations
32:05
business relationships that this guy will start to like me because he just simply put
32:10
up with me. I just you know, pushed me to the side of
32:13
the room sort of thing. And the result of it was my physician at
32:22
the time was prescribing to Lantern and all kinds of blood pressure medications and the
32:29
anxiety stuff, and was like and for me, it just all of a
32:35
sudden hit me. I'm looking at all these prescriptions in my hand, and
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I'm like, I need to change something else. This isn't the way to
32:43
do this. Did you have that moment? You know my moment was.
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I mean I at that time, I was sleeping twelve hours a day.
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I mean, I was so sick. I ended up. You know,
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my friends I have had at that time when I lived in Florida, I
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had friends that were judges, doctors, and they were saying, look,
33:05
go to my doctor. Here, go to my doctor. I went to
33:07
five different doctors, and you know the ridiculous advice that they gave, you
33:14
know, wear organic yogurt on your head for two hours. I mean,
33:19
come on, every day, Come on, now, you know. I
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mean for me, it was when I went to an eeridologist, because it's
33:28
like an ophtalmologist. So I was referred to an ieridologist and they said,
33:35
you know you have it looks like you have adrenal issues. So I went
33:39
to a specialist who that's what they did. But you know, the biggest
33:45
for me was I was getting all these going to these doctors and getting these
33:51
blood tests, and the blood tests were showing there's nothing wrong with you.
33:57
Okay, at what point sleeping for twelve hours and here falling out in palm's
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peeling. Do you not see that there's a problem. Right, So when
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I found the right doctor and took a saliva test, which is not common,
34:12
it's more common than it was then, but to be able to have
34:15
somebody positively identify physically what the issue was, right, So when he told
34:22
me, he goes, here's you're a dreanal results, adrenal gland results,
34:28
here's above normal, here's below normal. Here you don't even make the charts.
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I don't know how you got here today, and I don't know how
34:38
you have not had a heart attack or stroke. So that was the for
34:44
me, that was the defining that was like okay, that's a problem.
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Like okay, I mean I know that I don't feel well or whatever.
34:53
I know that's an issue. But for me to have number one identify what
34:58
was wrong with me and then the physical evidence right, that's you know,
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and then the experienced the chaos. So for me, Mike, I had
35:07
to get down to the very bottom. I had to go straight to the
35:13
bottom before I said okay, I got to do something different. So again
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I probably lasted longer than I should have. But at the same time,
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I was trying to go to the company and work and work it out,
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you know, talk to to go to HR and go through the hoops to
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try to work it out. And because of the merger and acquisition that HR
35:43
support was not there because nobody knew who was in charge. So when you
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know, I kept on trying to resolve it is they're supposed to help,
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they weren't, so, you know, unfortunately, through that whole process,
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so to me, unfortunately, I had to go to extremes. I had
36:07
to stretch it out before that was my turning point. It's that was at
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the very bottom and then rising phoenix if you would, Yeah, you turned
36:19
to the ashes and then something we can Our next conversation is with Michael Bangouru's
36:53
and he wants to teach us that difference between system relevant and human relevant.
37:04
Some of the knowledge that we have is actually system based, and if we
37:07
don't use it day to day, well, we tend to forget some of
37:10
it. And he wants us to focus more on our human relevant things,
37:20
so that would be things that are creative. And he believes that our first
37:28
superpower is human is creativity, and our second and third superpowers kind of go
37:37
hand in hand because it's dialogue and it allows us to interact with each other
37:46
and function through the systems that we're created by man. So in some of
37:55
those things, those communication things, there's communications skills and everything that we know
38:01
are also part of what has helped us survive as human beings for thousands of
38:09
years. So they not only become part of our superpower, but they become
38:15
part of the reason why we're even alive to begin with. He wants us
38:21
to focus more on those human relevant superpowers and maybe a little less on the
38:30
system ones, so that we find a happier and maybe a better life.
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So why don't we bring Michael to the show, and let's hear what he
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has to say and what he how he wants us to think about our lives
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at hand. So welcome to the show. Michael. How did there's a
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story behind you actually got started with you with your art? And how it
39:29
how you want what the goal is is to cause an awareness? And how
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did how did you actually get started as an artist? And how did you
39:37
come across the idea that that you can that you can cause a great awareness
39:43
with it. Oh that's an awesome question, Michael, thanks for having me
39:47
here. I was born in Vienna, in Austria, and I came here
39:52
twenty two. I lived to Los Angeles and what happens for I was a
40:00
child and I went to school with when I was seven, I was the
40:05
opposite of being conscious. I just tried to like all the young Evans and
40:10
the lessons, want to survive. You survive day by day. You know,
40:15
we want to get into the tribe. I couldn't. I couldn't because
40:22
I went to school. When I was seven. I found out I'm completely
40:28
or because I'm so nerdiverse and I have this LEGSA combined with dysgraphia, which
40:35
where I can't read my handwriting, and you know how that was forty years
40:38
ago, where the handhetting was everything. They weren't computers, and so I
40:43
couldn't fit in. I couldn't fit in. So the only way where I
40:46
felt like normal quote unquote was in the most abnormal community, the artists community.
40:53
I felt, you know, the most abnormal community is And because it
41:00
didn't matter there. You know, you create a you know, a theater
41:04
piece and you don't have a guy. You just put a girl in there,
41:07
you know, and put a mustache on her. It's it's just about
41:09
the product. It's not about the individual humans ruling hierarchy or anything. It's
41:15
just we create a piece of art together whatever that is, music thing,
41:22
and it has to work because it doesn't work when everybody gets start. So
41:27
you have few obviously, but that's a role in team. And so I
41:32
found myself when I was thirty and I applied for jobs, I saw my
41:37
god artist because artists you have to be deemed a society that when you're an
41:45
award like just did you know, So you've got to be deemed as that
41:52
if you're good or not in the eyes of society of a systems, you're
41:59
good or not. But basically it's not about the creator the product. It's
42:05
about the creation process where you really learn you don't know that you know you
42:09
had, and I may broadcast them, you know, bringing that spark of
42:15
inspiration into the article. That's why everybody looks artists and people that create stuff.
42:23
Oh my god, I could never do that, but we all can
42:27
do that. We're all a creative animals. I think we are collaborative creator
42:31
animals by nature. And so when I was thirty, I decided, you
42:37
know, I couldn't have done it. Yeah, I couldn't be in an
42:39
accountant, so I said, there's no way. So this is how I
42:45
got into owning that I'm artists and not not just waiting that somebody else says
42:52
you you're a great artists, you know, so so we own that.
42:55
And I see the difference because I talked to thousands of artists in my life.
43:00
Even established, very established artists find it uncomfortable to call themselves an artist
43:07
because they lack the awareness that they are. They think, okay, society,
43:10
you know, it's just bleep. When you're deemed to be an artist.
43:15
You're an artist today and tomorrow your crack, you know, it's like
43:19
it doesn't or you nothing, and for whatever reason, you created a product
43:24
that people like, you're the super artist. So I think that awareness when
43:30
it was about thirty pivotal for me because I owned what I am. I
43:37
owned my human centric function, a part of it, not the whole of
43:43
it, you know. Yeah. Yeah, Then I grew up and that
43:46
was always an art. I had great chances without any education. I think
43:53
nothing would have given me the chances to work with Robert Evans could it the
43:58
Godfather you know, and Chinatown to live with him? You know, nobody,
44:02
nobody would have. I was also Arts Commission of would have done without
44:10
I couldn't have done that job without an education. Uh now oh this job
44:15
only see that's my like, yeah, this job only allowed me to be
44:21
Arts commission you know, without an education, because I have zero education.
44:25
I am completely of tough. Yeah. Well I remember this from growing up.
44:34
When you talk about dyslexia, because there's different types of it also,
44:42
and I'm very dyslexic with with letters and words and things like that. When
44:47
I type emails and I and I ran a chemistry lab and my my my
44:54
VP supervisor said you're not allowed to send emails anymore because what you're ready,
45:06
it's like because there's words missing, all that kind of stuff. But I
45:08
remember growing up, did I was told that I would never amount to much
45:14
more than a floor sweeper because you couldn't fit in. You can weren't good
45:21
in the hierarchy they had didn't see this is in nature. You're worthy because
45:27
you exist because nature doesn't make mistakes. Just saying I'm gonna make a millionaire
45:31
fant offense too many, you know, and they have to somehow survive that.
45:37
It sure totally imbalanced. But in systems you have to have system relevance.
45:42
And everybody that is somehow different than we all are. Every human is
45:47
one of one with on fingerprints, on irises, h on DNA. We
45:54
are all not fitting in because tell me one person you've met that said,
45:59
oh, I fit in perfectly all the time, never unless you have the
46:01
super hot and a football team. But then later on you might don't see
46:07
that anymore. Well, they're they're lies. The lies of problem is is
46:14
later on in life that they find themselves not fitting in because hey, oh
46:19
being a football star doesn't necessarily amount to anything. A perfect example of that
46:24
would be oh J Simpson. Yeah, you know he then there's some people
46:32
that I just mentioned that name to. They wouldn't even know who he is,
46:37
either from football or anymore or anything that that's happen in his life.
46:42
So so, but I like what you say about owning who you are,
46:50
and for a lot of people it takes a lot longer than the age of
46:54
thirty two to learn to own who you are. So I think I think
47:00
I still didn't know who I am, but I knew that part of me,
47:06
so I said, I couldn't in something else. It was like logical
47:08
this, you know, subtraction. I couldn't have been, uh, you
47:14
know, an accountant, the bookkeeper, a politician or anything I had.
47:19
I had to be. I had to be what I am. You know,
47:22
I couldn't be a doctor. So I know I have to call myself
47:25
an artist because I have to have some systemical reference point, not for me,
47:30
but for to say what are you? I'm an artist? And also
47:35
it is a guide post to the direction you're gonna go. If I wouldn't,
47:39
I would have owned I love I'm healing animals, for healing humor,
47:46
and I love that I want to be an m D. Then and I
47:51
wouldn't be a problem. Then I would have studied for m D. And
47:53
then there's a reference point that this is my it's gonna be my life contribution
47:59
to the whole because we are collaborative, beta and formost, you know,
48:02
we all contribute to this reality. Yeah, we want to talk about glimmers
48:37
today and we're going to talk with Nancy Picard about glimmers. And this all
48:43
came about because I found a LinkedIn post from Nancy about the topic of glimmers
48:52
and what it is is it seeds little things that feed your flame of life,
48:58
that make that that life spark, that life flame brilliant and bright and
49:05
as she puts on a scale from one to ten, ten being the brightest
49:09
flame that you that you can possibly have in your life? Did these glimmers
49:15
feed that flame? And they're just little events that make you happy, make
49:22
you feel good, fill you with energy. Those people that also help fill
49:29
you with energy because they just feel so good to be around. You're gonna
49:37
hear Nancy say some things, maybe about her children, her grandchildren, and
49:45
maybe even her the fact that she climbed Mount Kelimanjaro. Maybe we won't hear
49:51
some things about that, but it's Nancy's term glimmers and how they help feed
50:00
our life and help us move past that comfort zone and into the success and
50:05
purpose that we're supposed to have in our lives. So why don't we bring
50:09
Nancy into the show and let's talk about glimmers something we can Well, I
50:45
posted one thing. I posted a meme about glimmers, and really, what
50:52
glimmers is is just I don't remember what we talked about on your last podcast,
51:00
but basically getting what I normally talk about. Yeah, but yeah,
51:05
yeah, we stay very focused to your book. Oh we did, okay,
51:10
YEA far away from that. I've been doing much more relationship and marriage
51:15
coaching. So that's actually where where I've been going. But I go wherever
51:22
the podcast wants to go. But oh no, no, because it's all
51:28
about relationships in the end, right, Well yeah, I mean well not
51:34
all, No, not all My coaching is about relationships, you know,
51:37
No, I mean I mean our lives. It's all about yeah yeah,
51:42
but and and learning how to move forward. So glimmers, so I'll get
51:49
you to find uh, glimmers is just glimmers is is the opposite of looking
52:02
for what's wrong in your life. So people we always have a negative bias,
52:07
like that's basically through evolution, you got to look at what's wrong so
52:14
you could stay safe. You know, you don't have we don't have a
52:17
tiger coming after us anymore, so we don't have to do that. But
52:22
our negative bias is still the same, that everyone's always looking for what's wrong
52:25
instead of what's right. And so I always talk about putting on prepared glasses
52:30
and looking for what's right. And that's what glimmers are. The glimmers are
52:34
the things in your life that that spark you up right. And so yeah,
52:40
but that's a comfort zone. So we can go wherever you want to
52:43
go. I don't care. Actually actually got I get a really good,
52:46
good tie in for that. Okay, okay, so is it new artwork
52:55
behind you? Same artwork I that's from the that was at the bottom of
53:02
Kill Him and Jarrow after I climbed Kill Him. They were artists at the
53:06
bottom that were probably yeah, thank you. I didn't until you closed the
53:14
door. I hadn't noticed that that that actually makes a big difference. Well,
53:19
but I'm also I mean the way yeah, the art yeah, yeah,
53:23
it no, it makes it. It makes your artwork come up a
53:27
little a little bit more because you closed the door. Yeah, well now
53:31
you've hitten the door. So yeah, we're even better if it just frames
53:37
better. It's not new how that I got the bottom of kill Him and
53:43
Jaro and a rolled thing. I took it home. I probably paid less
53:46
than one hundred dollars to buy it, and I probably spent ten times at
53:50
the frame it when you get back to Yeah, see, that's why I
53:53
learned to frame things myself. I spent a lot. Yeah, no,
54:00
actually you can. I understand you can spend a lot some framing projects.
54:05
When I've done some frame some photographs for people that just in glass alone,
54:10
that we paid like hundreds of dollars just for the glass. Yeah. Yeah,
54:15
So anyway, yeah, now I do have the sound completely balanced out.
54:23
You always have a good story, all right, So why don't we
54:28
get started in five four three two one. So welcome back, Nancy,
54:38
and I remember it was a few months ago that I saw a post of
54:45
yours about glimmours. And one of the things that people do when they really
54:51
gets stuck in their comfort zone is they get stuck on what's wrong with them,
54:57
and instead of what is right with him? And I remember a post
55:01
to yours being about glimmers, where we start to focus on what's right in
55:07
our lives so we can be grateful for them and move forward right exactly,
55:13
so, we have a negative bias. All of us have a natural negative
55:16
bias. It comes back from our caveman days where you had to be like,
55:22
am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? What's not
55:23
working in my environment? What's not right? You know, we don't have
55:28
those silver toothed tigers coming after us anymore, but we still innately have the
55:32
bias to look for what's wrong. And so I talked to my clients all
55:37
the time about taking off the what's wrong glasses and putting on what's right glasses
55:42
and looking your life through what's right. Because when you look for what's wrong,
55:46
the only thing I can promise you is you're going to find it.
55:50
And what you put your attention on is what you get more of. So
55:55
if you're looking for what's wrong, you're going to find it, and you're
55:59
going to get more of it. You know, if you think, oh
56:01
my god, nothing ever works out for me, well, guess what,
56:04
nothing's going to work out for you? So glimmers are those things in our
56:08
life that actually bring us joy, that are working. And what's a glimmer
56:15
for me may not be a glimmer for you. But you know, if
56:19
you get a hold of what your glimmers are, if you take a little
56:22
time and make a list of the things that jazz you up, you know
56:25
what makes you feel joyful, what makes you feel alive, what gets your
56:30
you know, joa Devi going. Those are the things you want to put
56:34
your attention on and you want to incorporate them more in your life. You
56:38
know, Oh, like I feel really great. I personally, this is
56:40
me speaking. I have to be outside every single day, hiking, biking,
56:46
skiing, pick a balling. I have to be outside even if it's
56:51
raining. I'm outside with my dog and I'm in the elements. And that's
56:54
a glimmer for me that jazzes me up, that charges me. That's like,
56:59
if I do that, then whatever else I have to do for my
57:01
day works. And so that's actually how I schedule my life. I lots
57:08
of times, maybe three or four days a week, I'll have a client
57:10
at seven thirty in the morning, but then I don't work again until one
57:15
or two every single day, and that whole great, juicy part of the
57:20
day belongs to me being outside in nature with my dog doing one of those
57:25
activities. Those are glimmers for me. Yeah, there's I'm going to invite
57:30
everybody to look for you on link LinkedIn. I'll say that again. I'm
57:35
going to invite everybody to look for you on LinkedIn. And Nancy's last name
57:39
is spelled p I C K A r D. For those of you who
57:45
may be Star Trek fans, put the K and picard and you got it.
57:50
You got Nancy's name. Forgive me for that, Nancy, I played
57:58
it. But there's there's lots of pictures of you on LinkedIn where you got
58:06
your bigger, better braver ball cap on and you're outside whitewater, rafting,
58:14
rock climbing, whatever it is out there in nature, and it's exciting to
58:20
follow you that way also because that's your glimmers, right, Those are my
58:27
glimmers. You have a lot of. Just Just being with my dog is
58:30
a glimmer. I mean, being with my partner and doing something fun.
58:32
Being with my girlfriends is always a glimmer. I love playing pick a ball
58:37
with couples and girlfriends like those things. They jazz me up. Soda is
58:43
sitting there on Zoom and letting my eight year old grand children read to me,
58:47
or me reading to my three and a half year old grandchildren. Those
58:51
are all things that like just make me feel good about life. And we
58:55
all have them, and some of us have more than others, and some
59:00
of us just need to spend some time making a list so that they recognize
59:07
them and we all get them. Yeah, So making a list, writing
59:13
them down these things is that the first one of the first steps in actually
59:16
being able to focus on them so you can introduce more of them into your
59:20
life. I think when you write something down, it becomes a plan,
59:23
it becomes real. And I just think that we are so busy in our
59:30
lives doing versus being that we don't really take the time to really say,
59:37
Wow, these are the things that I'm working in my life. These are
59:40
the things that I talk about people having an internal flame. So on a
59:46
scale of one to ten, I'll say to my clients, where's your flame
59:51
today? You know? Is it a rip roaring ten? And life is
59:54
just rocking and everything's working and smooth, and you couldn't be happier or is
1:00:00
it a three where you know you're bogged down and you got a lot of
1:00:05
incompletes in your life and some of your relationships aren't working and so your flame
1:00:10
is pretty low. So then I'll say, okay, so what did you
1:00:15
do this week that raised your flame? And what did you do this week
1:00:20
that lowered your flame? So when you start to get out of autopilot and
1:00:24
see the things that are actually raising your flame, so you can do more
1:00:30
of those versus lower your flame. Like, oh, every time I talk
1:00:32
to this person, I have a low flame. Well let's not talk to
1:00:38
this person every day, or you know, really back off from your communication
1:00:45
with people that are not feeding you right, not feeding your flame, And
1:00:51
that's you've got to get out of autopilot so you can even recognize what's working
1:00:55
and what's not. Yeah, okay, we ended there with Nancy Picard talking
1:01:02
about glamours those things that feed our flame. Now, all of you out
1:01:13
there, you probably made some sort of New Year's resolutions, and you've probably
1:01:15
made yourself some outrageous promises that you're probably not going to actually keep. The
1:01:27
odds are when someone makes it a choice on New Year's day that they're going
1:01:35
to change something in their lives. They're going to make a promise to themselves,
1:01:39
a resolution that they're going to do something. The odds are by time
1:01:46
February first comes, the whole idea has gone out the window and you've reverted
1:01:52
back to your old habits. I want you to listen to that last a
1:02:05
segment with Nancy Picicard where she talks about what are the things that are going
1:02:09
to feed your flame? And maybe for twenty twenty four you'll find the things
1:02:17
that feeds your flame, those things that make you feel more human, make
1:02:23
you celebrate the diversity that's around us, help you build relationships instead of just
1:02:31
muddling through, and when you do, you'll find the happiness and the freedom
1:02:42
that these top five people have talked about in their lives. All right,
1:02:49
thank you for listening to everybody, and find that subscribe button wherever it may
1:02:53
be, but more importantly, find your flame back shoes. So I don't
1:03:22
know, so I wo gon action so funny that this days I'm reason should
1:03:51
be like cho shows. We can't Trevait so can't she go to st ST
1:04:55
Stuff? I know. The show has been produced by Depictions Media Please contact
1:05:27
us at depictions dot media for more information.