Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Chloe Radcliffe Disobeys Bridger
Transcript
- 0:08Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
- 0:14Speaker 1: perfectly clear.
- 0:17Speaker 2: When you're a.
- 0:17Speaker 1: Guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.
- 0:23Speaker 1: And I said, no, guests, you're a presences presents enough.
- 0:31Speaker 1: I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare.
- 0:36Speaker 2: To surbey me?
- 0:48Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm pretcher wineker Mmm,
- 0:56Speaker 3: I'm here. What's happening? We're back, We're back together again.
- 1:01Speaker 3: It's been a week, we're here.
- 1:03Speaker 2: I don't know what this says about me.
- 1:06Speaker 3: The guest is I've made the guess extremely nervous. You
- 1:11Speaker 3: just relax. This has nothing entirely me. This is my problem.
- 1:17Speaker 3: Don't bring your insecurity to my insecurity.
- 1:19Speaker 2: I'm projecting.
- 1:21Speaker 3: Ah No, this is just kind of how I'm existing now.
- 1:26Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of even what's I'm going back
- 1:29Speaker 3: to the last few days and I'm just trying to
- 1:31Speaker 3: remember what's going on in my life. I think the
- 1:34Speaker 3: big event was chocolate chip prices have gotten way out
- 1:40Speaker 3: of hand. I don't know if you've been to the
- 1:42Speaker 3: grocery store recently. I was there a couple of days ago.
- 1:46Speaker 3: I had to go home empty handed. It's ridiculous. It's
- 1:49Speaker 3: out of control, and so don't tell me about Trader
- 1:54Speaker 3: Joe's more affordable chocolate chips. Of course, I knew that
- 1:56Speaker 3: I got those, but the brand I wanted and I'm
- 1:59Speaker 3: not going to it has doubled in price since the
- 2:02Speaker 3: last time I bought them. And then so that happened.
- 2:06Speaker 3: I went to a picnic that did nothing for me emotionally.
- 2:09Speaker 3: Saturday night, I drove to a party and then drove
- 2:12Speaker 3: home without going to the party. That felt pretty good,
- 2:16Speaker 3: and I'm sorry. I'm back in a little house on
- 2:19Speaker 3: the prairie. I started watching that again last night, and
- 2:22Speaker 3: in the episode, Charles's mom dies of whatever, and I
- 2:29Speaker 3: had never been introduced to the character, so I didn't
- 2:30Speaker 3: even who cares if she died. I don't think the
- 2:33Speaker 3: audience cared that she died, and then we don't care
- 2:36Speaker 3: that Charles cares, and then the episode became very boring.
- 2:39Speaker 3: So I'm glad she's dead, and I think that that's it.
- 2:43Speaker 3: Let me see if I have anything in my document anything. Oh,
- 2:46Speaker 3: do you know? It was huge? We do need to
- 2:49Speaker 3: mention this. Taylor. Frankie Paul has liked one of our
- 2:52Speaker 3: Instagram posts, and she, of course is the kind of
- 2:55Speaker 3: embattled Secret Life of Mormon Wives X. She's not a
- 3:00Speaker 3: life currently, but you know she previous bachelorette. We don't
- 3:03Speaker 3: know if we'll ever see that footage, but she has
- 3:05Speaker 3: reached out by liking a post. And this feels like
- 3:08Speaker 3: we are now on the road to me being in
- 3:11Speaker 3: a fight with the Secret Life of Mormon Wife character.
- 3:15Speaker 3: Every journey begins with one step, and I think this
- 3:17Speaker 3: is it. So we'll keep our eye on that. And wow,
- 3:21Speaker 3: I started with just kind of nothing, and then I
- 3:23Speaker 3: brought an encyclopedia of things to talk about. But we
- 3:26Speaker 3: should get into the show. Today's guest has already basically
- 3:31Speaker 3: introduced herself. It's Chloe Radcliffe.
- 3:33Speaker 2: Chloe, let me in there.
- 3:35Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, NOE Gifts.
- 3:37Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.
- 3:39Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you know, the energy was just I don't know.
- 3:42Speaker 3: I'm already on my second diet coke. Here. Yeah, I've
- 3:45Speaker 3: been in the studio for twenty minutes.
- 3:47Speaker 2: You're good.
- 3:47Speaker 4: Oh this isn't this isn't like you didn't you don't
- 3:49Speaker 4: wake up with your first diet coke.
- 3:51Speaker 3: No, I have coffee, and then I had a second coffee.
- 3:54Speaker 3: Then I got here. And I thought, I'll have a
- 3:55Speaker 3: sip of a diet coke and then you ten minutes late.
- 3:59Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's minutes late. Look, I I will cop
- 4:04Speaker 2: to it. Now.
- 4:06Speaker 4: Was I almost certainly going to be running five minutes
- 4:08Speaker 4: late if somebody hadn't parked me in and then I
- 4:11Speaker 4: got an incredible excuse to be ten minutes late.
- 4:14Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's kind of the ideal thing.
- 4:17Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Oh love flaming my own problems on somebody else.
- 4:20Speaker 3: Yeah, you get like your half guilty at that point,
- 4:22Speaker 3: and so just let the other person be fully guilt.
- 4:25Speaker 3: Who was parked behind you? A friend, a laborer? Oh
- 4:29Speaker 3: so you're.
- 4:29Speaker 4: Making nice a nice nice man who is you know,
- 4:33Speaker 4: probably very scared of most of his most days.
- 4:35Speaker 3: At this point, you're going around screaming at people to
- 4:37Speaker 3: get out of your way. I'm on my way to
- 4:39Speaker 3: record a podcast.
- 4:40Speaker 4: Who's the brown man who's painting an apartment below the
- 4:44Speaker 4: apartment where I'm staying.
- 4:45Speaker 2: Get him out from behind my car now, he's very
- 4:48Speaker 2: very moved the car.
- 4:49Speaker 3: It's uh. I think that's just a common issue in
- 4:52Speaker 3: Los Angeles. I don't know that many people outside of
- 4:54Speaker 3: this city run into Oh the driveway had four cars. Yea, yeah,
- 4:58Speaker 3: and they're all slightly related to each other. Yeah, what
- 5:03Speaker 3: you know, like he was probably uh he was working
- 5:07Speaker 3: on a friend's apartment of your friend. And you're, oh, yes, yes, yes,
- 5:10Speaker 3: not even living there.
- 5:12Speaker 4: That actually might be true. I think I haven't asked.
- 5:15Speaker 4: I haven't asked my friend who I'm staying with. But
- 5:17Speaker 4: they just moved in the same building, within the same building,
- 5:21Speaker 4: So I wonder, actually if he's painting their old.
- 5:23Speaker 3: Part interesting your friends separately moved into the same building.
- 5:28Speaker 2: As in I'm staying with a couple.
- 5:29Speaker 4: Yes, they were in one apartment and now they moved
- 5:32Speaker 4: to a different apartment in the same.
- 5:33Speaker 2: Like four plex. Oh why, I think it has one
- 5:36Speaker 2: extra bedroom. Oh and that is the bedroom that I'm saying.
- 5:39Speaker 3: That you're saying, yeah, surprise. And there are two cats.
- 5:41Speaker 3: You mentioned there's.
- 5:42Speaker 2: Two cats, there's two dogs. It's a full house.
- 5:46Speaker 4: I've been coming home at somewhere between three and four
- 5:49Speaker 4: every morning because I'm here for Netflix as a joke, right,
- 5:52Speaker 4: and so the after parties are going until two thirty,
- 5:54Speaker 4: and then I get home at three and whatever.
- 5:56Speaker 2: And one of the dogs absolutely fucking hates me.
- 6:01Speaker 4: She's this little piece of shit I'm sorry, Mary Andrew
- 6:04Speaker 4: if you ever listen to this little piece of shit
- 6:06Speaker 4: who fucking hates me. And so at three fifteen, every
- 6:10Speaker 4: single morning has been I'm sure waking up this entire
- 6:14Speaker 4: building and the building next to it.
- 6:17Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't have I can't do anything
- 6:19Speaker 2: about it.
- 6:20Speaker 3: She's yapping away.
- 6:21Speaker 2: She's yapping away.
- 6:23Speaker 4: Survey says, I probably shouldn't have stayed there, but hey,
- 6:26Speaker 4: at this point, we're in for a penny, in for
- 6:29Speaker 4: a pound.
- 6:29Speaker 3: So what do you do while she's yapping you're just
- 6:31Speaker 3: quietly tiptoeing in, or you're just so wasted you barely notice.
- 6:34Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm driving black out on the four h five. No, no, no, no,
- 6:40Speaker 4: I I've been the only way that I've been surviving
- 6:42Speaker 4: these late nights. You can hear in my voice that
- 6:44Speaker 4: my voice is like it's very tired. The only way
- 6:46Speaker 4: I've been surviving is not drinking.
- 6:48Speaker 2: That's mine, of course, because it's like it's it's rough enough.
- 6:51Speaker 3: The idea of just being awake to that point is.
- 6:54Speaker 2: Being away to that point.
- 6:55Speaker 4: And then I've done somehow I've I've had like morning
- 7:00Speaker 4: events the last few days, and yeah, so I've not
- 7:06Speaker 4: been getting very much sleep.
- 7:07Speaker 3: My secret is making the schedule or somebody else.
- 7:10Speaker 4: I am. Someone else then comes to me and goes,
- 7:14Speaker 4: what about all these things? But I am the one going, yeah, yeah,
- 7:17Speaker 4: that's fine.
- 7:18Speaker 3: How do you think you are as a house guest?
- 7:23Speaker 4: I think when every living being in the apartment respects me,
- 7:28Speaker 4: I respect every living bea.
- 7:31Speaker 3: You're really setting up some how about that justification of
- 7:34Speaker 3: bad behavior? What does that even mean? So you're horrible?
- 7:39Speaker 2: I'm horrible? No, I think.
- 7:41Speaker 4: Look, I think I'm a good house guest. I the room,
- 7:46Speaker 4: whatever room I'm staying in, I tend to let be
- 7:48Speaker 4: very very messy.
- 7:49Speaker 3: Sure that makes it, but I close the door right.
- 7:52Speaker 4: And anything outside of that room, I'm sort of like,
- 7:54Speaker 4: it's not you know, it's my job to not track
- 7:55Speaker 4: any mess around.
- 7:56Speaker 3: No, I think that that's totally fine to leave that
- 7:58Speaker 3: room messing. You're that's your real private space when you're
- 8:01Speaker 3: the HouseGuest. No one else is using it at the time. Yes,
- 8:04Speaker 3: as long as you leave it clean enough when you leave.
- 8:06Speaker 2: I'm a big buy gifts at the end of a stay.
- 8:10Speaker 3: Oh and what are you getting this time?
- 8:14Speaker 2: I will probably this house. My base is a big
- 8:18Speaker 2: giant pack of toilet paper.
- 8:20Speaker 3: Oh smart, because.
- 8:21Speaker 2: It's like everybody likes it, everybody uses it, everybody. It's
- 8:24Speaker 2: like it's sort of funny.
- 8:25Speaker 4: It's like cheeky enough to be charming, but it's also
- 8:28Speaker 4: like functional.
- 8:29Speaker 2: I'm not trying to guess.
- 8:30Speaker 4: It's not a fucking hundred dollars candle, right, it's not
- 8:33Speaker 4: more fucking olive oil.
- 8:35Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, olive.
- 8:37Speaker 4: And honestly, what's so funny is that I think in
- 8:40Speaker 4: LA everybody gets each other olive oil. I actually could
- 8:43Speaker 4: use some goddamn olive oil, but I never have house
- 8:46Speaker 4: guests in New York.
- 8:47Speaker 2: Somebody send me fucking olive oil.
- 8:49Speaker 3: Oh I would have. I don't even know what I
- 8:51Speaker 3: would do with more olive oil. I would have to
- 8:52Speaker 3: be pouring it down the sink, yeah.
- 8:54Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, coating well that way, that way
- 8:56Speaker 4: everything else slips down the stae.
- 9:00Speaker 3: It's the disposal. Would think, may probably.
- 9:02Speaker 2: I did get.
- 9:04Speaker 4: Last time I was in LA, a couple of months ago,
- 9:06Speaker 4: I stayed with a friend who had just moved into
- 9:09Speaker 4: I keep finding people who have just moved, being like,
- 9:15Speaker 4: I want to make your plate uncomfortable. I a friend
- 9:19Speaker 4: had just moved and he This was like a big
- 9:23Speaker 4: upgrade for him. He has been living below his means
- 9:27Speaker 4: for a very long time, right, And he was very
- 9:30Speaker 4: picky about where he was moving and he's very particular
- 9:32Speaker 4: about his space and and like rightly so. And he's
- 9:36Speaker 4: like hot and cool and you know, probably OCD and
- 9:39Speaker 4: has his you know, his life is very like regimen.
- 9:42Speaker 3: Right.
- 9:43Speaker 2: So he had finally picked this place and then.
- 9:45Speaker 4: Me a Tornado, a sort of haunted house for neurodivergent
- 9:51Speaker 4: people comes in and like flops down in his life.
- 9:56Speaker 5: Right.
- 9:57Speaker 2: But I got him two pieces of art, Wow, big pieces.
- 10:00Speaker 4: Of art that I was like, I don't think he
- 10:02Speaker 4: would ever pick these, but I think he really, I
- 10:04Speaker 4: think he would like them.
- 10:05Speaker 2: And I think they're like going with the theme. They're
- 10:08Speaker 2: like simple but a little risky.
- 10:10Speaker 3: This feels so high stakes to me.
- 10:12Speaker 4: Yes, but I kind of love and I picked him
- 10:14Speaker 4: out on Facebook park Place and I drove to fucking Irvine.
- 10:19Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, at least that's probably an hour and I drove.
- 10:22Speaker 4: I drove over an hour, oh in both directions, got
- 10:25Speaker 4: these two big pieces of art.
- 10:28Speaker 2: He said he really likes them.
- 10:29Speaker 3: Do we know if they're on the walls yet?
- 10:31Speaker 2: I don't I haven't been back.
- 10:32Speaker 3: Ask for a video tour.
- 10:33Speaker 2: Yeah, how's your place feeling?
- 10:37Speaker 3: That's so true?
- 10:38Speaker 2: Are you settling in?
- 10:40Speaker 3: What a swing? From toilet paper to like, here are
- 10:42Speaker 3: massive pieces of art you have to.
- 10:44Speaker 2: Display, yeah, to like a taste.
- 10:46Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's kind of nice actually, because picking art
- 10:49Speaker 3: for yourself is also really high stakes, where like I'll
- 10:52Speaker 3: be paralyzed. I'll be like, well, I just will never
- 10:53Speaker 3: put anything on my walls because I can't figure it
- 10:55Speaker 3: out for somebody to just be like, here's something, Yes,
- 10:58Speaker 3: put this.
- 10:58Speaker 2: On the walls. Here you go. And they were I.
- 11:02Speaker 4: Knew basically they're they're like fairly simple, actual pieces of art.
- 11:08Speaker 4: They're like they're just little like sort of beach nature scenes.
- 11:11Speaker 4: But they were matted in these huge frames with tons
- 11:14Speaker 4: of matting around it, and it makes this.
- 11:16Speaker 3: Like kind of dramatic statement, right right, But.
- 11:18Speaker 4: They're very simple, And that's what made me be like,
- 11:22Speaker 4: I think this guy who likes kind of simple things, right,
- 11:25Speaker 4: but got this giant fucking place that can swallow a
- 11:28Speaker 4: bunch of art.
- 11:28Speaker 3: Sure, sure, I think Yeah's you need as much art
- 11:31Speaker 3: as you can get. Basically if you have a ton
- 11:33Speaker 3: of space. Y. Wow, very interesting I mean they may
- 11:38Speaker 3: have just ended up back, ended up back on Facebook
- 11:40Speaker 3: market Place.
- 11:40Speaker 4: I told him, I was like, you can, you can,
- 11:43Speaker 4: you can drop these off a goodwill.
- 11:44Speaker 2: I do not. I will not go back.
- 11:46Speaker 3: What did you do? You just hopped on marketplace and
- 11:48Speaker 3: typed in art crazy?
- 11:50Speaker 2: I think I typed in like huge poster.
- 11:51Speaker 4: And then I also was looking for like some like
- 11:55Speaker 4: modern funky, like simplistic but modern interesting like bouhou see
- 12:01Speaker 4: right again, stuff that's simple but can still.
- 12:03Speaker 3: Pop stylish but not like going overboard.
- 12:07Speaker 4: Yes, and then I just looked at the marketplace for
- 12:10Speaker 4: like a week, and then your algorithm learns and it
- 12:15Speaker 4: starts feeding me shit, right, And then it fed me
- 12:17Speaker 4: these things and they were far away, and because they
- 12:19Speaker 4: were far away and they had bad photos, right, nobody
- 12:24Speaker 4: I could.
- 12:25Speaker 3: I could bad photo. I mean, of course it's the
- 12:26Speaker 3: secret to anything, renting whatever. So you have a Facebook.
- 12:30Speaker 3: See my problem is I no longer have a Facebook profile,
- 12:33Speaker 3: so Facebook Marketplace cannot learn about me. It's my sisters.
- 12:36Speaker 3: So it's like I'll log in every once a year
- 12:39Speaker 3: and I'll be like, here's some kitchen tables in Utah,
- 12:41Speaker 3: and it's just like, well, I don't this isn't what
- 12:43Speaker 3: I'm looking for.
- 12:44Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well my house in Utah already has a
- 12:46Speaker 2: kitchen table.
- 12:48Speaker 3: I'm drowning in kitchen tables. It's the last thing. But
- 12:53Speaker 3: you're on there. How often are you getting something on Facebook? Marketplace?
- 12:56Speaker 4: I used to be more of a hound for it,
- 12:59Speaker 4: but I will say I go on Craigslist free listings
- 13:02Speaker 4: multiple times a day.
- 13:03Speaker 3: Oh wow, it's to scan. Oh interesting? Have you found
- 13:06Speaker 3: anything good? Oh?
- 13:07Speaker 2: Oh, the best? Like what? I think it's worth me showing.
- 13:10Speaker 3: You the no, I mean, I'm asking, I'm okay, okay,
- 13:12Speaker 3: I want to see what's happening here. I've had zero luck.
- 13:15Speaker 3: Usually it's like a CD tower.
- 13:17Speaker 2: Well, so this is the thing.
- 13:18Speaker 4: This is why I have to This is why you
- 13:19Speaker 4: have to go on it multiple times a day, because
- 13:21Speaker 4: there's not that.
- 13:24Speaker 2: This is what I'm about to describe is a really
- 13:26Speaker 2: bad explanation.
- 13:27Speaker 4: But there's not that many good things, which means that
- 13:31Speaker 4: the good shit goes quickly, right, right, and so you
- 13:34Speaker 4: kind of got to be on top of it. Okay,
- 13:36Speaker 4: let's see if I can find So this is my bedroom?
- 13:39Speaker 3: Okay, Oh, beautifully appointed bedroom.
- 13:41Speaker 2: Thank you.
- 13:43Speaker 4: That light fixture that was free is a. It was
- 13:46Speaker 4: twenty dollars. It is a seven hundred dollars light fixture.
- 13:49Speaker 4: I found it on Craigslist.
- 13:51Speaker 2: I biked there. I bike everywhere in New York.
- 13:53Speaker 4: I strapped that thing to my backpack. I have a
- 13:56Speaker 4: picture of me riding through. It's literally sitting like feet
- 13:59Speaker 4: out from me.
- 14:00Speaker 3: That's like having a wingspan.
- 14:01Speaker 4: Yes, truly, I had to go so slowly and be
- 14:04Speaker 4: so careful. I'm usually a very aggressive rider, and I
- 14:06Speaker 4: was like, it does not matter if it takes me
- 14:07Speaker 4: two hours. Again, why did you rent a car because
- 14:10Speaker 4: I'm because I'm I am the cheapest person I have
- 14:13Speaker 4: ever met?
- 14:13Speaker 3: Oh, you've met your match?
- 14:14Speaker 2: Yes?
- 14:15Speaker 3: Really?
- 14:16Speaker 2: Okay?
- 14:16Speaker 3: Great?
- 14:16Speaker 2: Oh thrilling?
- 14:17Speaker 3: Don't even great?
- 14:19Speaker 2: Great?
- 14:20Speaker 4: Do you see the like loose sight shelf on the left,
- 14:22Speaker 4: the clear thing? Yes, that came from the sidewalk wow
- 14:25Speaker 4: in New York.
- 14:26Speaker 3: Listener, how would you describe the light fixture because it's
- 14:29Speaker 3: probably how big do you think that is? It's probably
- 14:31Speaker 3: like four feet.
- 14:33Speaker 4: Yeah, it's probably three or three to four feet across,
- 14:35Speaker 4: and then probably like three feet it was probably four
- 14:40Speaker 4: feet in length, and then my uh ex cut it
- 14:46Speaker 4: like trimmed the top.
- 14:47Speaker 3: Okay, after you had biked it after I biked it home,
- 14:50Speaker 3: and it's kind of like two arches connected to each other.
- 14:53Speaker 2: Yes, it's like very architectural.
- 14:54Speaker 3: It's so beautiful.
- 14:55Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. It's what I'm proudest.
- 14:58Speaker 3: How far was the bike ride?
- 15:00Speaker 2: Uh?
- 15:00Speaker 4: Normally that was probably like a twenty minute ride, and
- 15:04Speaker 4: I probably took forty five minutes to get home. The
- 15:08Speaker 4: big mirror, this big mirror fixture, yes, free on craigslist.
- 15:11Speaker 4: What in the Bronx? And I borrowed a friend's station wagon,
- 15:17Speaker 4: a friend who lives way the fuck out in Brooklyn,
- 15:20Speaker 4: like in one direction, as far from the Bronx as
- 15:23Speaker 4: you can get, right, borrowed their station wagon. Made another
- 15:26Speaker 4: friend come with me on this adventure. I was like,
- 15:28Speaker 4: we haven't hung out in a while. Do you want
- 15:29Speaker 4: to go on a weird friend adventure and then we
- 15:30Speaker 4: can talk on this long ride. Right, He came up
- 15:32Speaker 4: with me to the Bronx. We put it in the
- 15:33Speaker 4: station wagon. Couldn't close the trunk of course. See that's
- 15:36Speaker 4: an enormous mirror.
- 15:37Speaker 2: Yeah, drove it home. Wow, you have to make get
- 15:39Speaker 2: it in Yeah.
- 15:40Speaker 3: Wow, good for you. I feel like this sort of
- 15:42Speaker 3: thing is easier to do in New York getting good
- 15:44Speaker 3: free fines. Yeah, I think because maybe because in New
- 15:49Speaker 3: York there's less space, so when something has to go,
- 15:52Speaker 3: it just has to go. Even it has good LA,
- 15:54Speaker 3: it'll probably just end up in another part of your
- 15:56Speaker 3: house for a really long time.
- 15:57Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.
- 15:58Speaker 3: Unless it's true garbage. Sure, and then people are like,
- 16:01Speaker 3: I'll probably just literally throw it away rather than give
- 16:04Speaker 3: it away.
- 16:04Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Like there's way less like on the sidewalk.
- 16:08Speaker 3: In New York you can just walk around, and things
- 16:09Speaker 3: on the sidewalk in LA are non starters.
- 16:13Speaker 2: The problem is things on the sidewalk in New York
- 16:15Speaker 2: will give you bed bugs.
- 16:16Speaker 3: Oh. I think that's probably true in LA too. There's
- 16:18Speaker 3: at least bed bugs living in there, if not more,
- 16:22Speaker 3: I mean, creatures galore. You're really asking for it. If
- 16:25Speaker 3: you occasionally, I'll be tempted, But I just think I
- 16:28Speaker 3: think like a mirror, that would probably be something you
- 16:30Speaker 3: could pick up off. Yeah, bed bugs get in mirrors.
- 16:33Speaker 2: They're always looking at themselves.
- 16:36Speaker 3: They're very vague.
- 16:37Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, to every one of them.
- 16:41Speaker 3: Have you ever had bed bugs?
- 16:42Speaker 2: Absolutely a.
- 16:44Speaker 3: Nightmare?
- 16:45Speaker 2: It is this the thing I am the most scared
- 16:48Speaker 2: of in my entire life.
- 16:49Speaker 3: Of course, it just feels like a plague. Yeah, yeah,
- 16:52Speaker 3: when was this twenty nineteen and.
- 16:56Speaker 2: You're saying you're just crawling.
- 16:58Speaker 4: It is the scared in the world to me, most
- 17:02Speaker 4: primarily because I do not react to the bites, and
- 17:05Speaker 4: so I only discovered it because.
- 17:07Speaker 2: My boyfriend at the time reaction to the bites.
- 17:09Speaker 4: So then we weren't living together, and so I would
- 17:11Speaker 4: keep being like, hey, baby, you want to you want.
- 17:14Speaker 2: To come over? After I like was pretty sure ironic
- 17:16Speaker 2: any of them. I was like, you want to sleep
- 17:17Speaker 2: over tonight? He was like, are you using me as
- 17:18Speaker 2: a fucking bedbug canary in the coal mine? Are you
- 17:20Speaker 2: using me as like a little test? And I was like, no,
- 17:23Speaker 2: I miss you.
- 17:24Speaker 3: I want to see so you're immune to bedbugs?
- 17:28Speaker 2: Why I'm strong and cool?
- 17:30Speaker 3: We need to like map your DNA or something.
- 17:33Speaker 2: Yeah, feels I consume. I yeah, I don't know.
- 17:37Speaker 3: I wonder what's going on.
- 17:38Speaker 4: I'm also one of the least germophobic people I've.
- 17:42Speaker 2: Ever been around.
- 17:43Speaker 3: Okay, so this is all adding up with springing free things.
- 17:46Speaker 2: Into your eye.
- 17:46Speaker 4: I'm like cheap and I love trash and I don't
- 17:48Speaker 4: and I love I kind of love.
- 17:50Speaker 2: Being dirty and grimy. Okay, and I've showered Dory.
- 17:53Speaker 3: You live very clean.
- 17:54Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you, I did my hair. I sort of
- 17:57Speaker 4: got the sense that this was a clean This is
- 17:59Speaker 4: a clean.
- 17:59Speaker 3: It's one of those clean sanitary podcast you hear about. Yeah, yeah,
- 18:05Speaker 3: there's something else I wanted. There are two things I
- 18:07Speaker 3: actually want to talk to about. But the first is
- 18:09Speaker 3: kind of a controversial issue. When you came in, you
- 18:11Speaker 3: were holding a bagoo bag, which I formerly had this
- 18:16Speaker 3: exact same bag. Okay, let's bring it on camera. Do
- 18:19Speaker 3: you want to grab it? Yea, yeah, this is a
- 18:21Speaker 3: controversy that I'm willing to stir up again. This bag
- 18:26Speaker 3: was given to me by my sister in a couple
- 18:30Speaker 3: of years ago for a birthday, and I thought, oh,
- 18:33Speaker 3: that's such a beautiful bag, what a beautiful green bag.
- 18:38Speaker 3: And then I lived my life for two years, two no,
- 18:41Speaker 3: probably three years, thinking wow, I have a beautiful green
- 18:44Speaker 3: bag in my life, and then somehow it got brought
- 18:47Speaker 3: up to another human being and I said, oh I
- 18:49Speaker 3: have We've got to get my green bag.
- 18:51Speaker 2: Go grab my green bag. It's over there. Go grab
- 18:53Speaker 2: a bag. You'll know it. It's green.
- 18:55Speaker 3: And the avalanche of people just questioning my view of
- 18:58Speaker 3: the world because everyone said it was yellow. Uh, you
- 19:04Speaker 3: came in and I said, what color do you think
- 19:06Speaker 3: that peg is?
- 19:07Speaker 2: Yes? And what did I say?
- 19:08Speaker 3: You said, sand?
- 19:08Speaker 2: Yeah, I had not heard yet. Yes, I mean, look,
- 19:11Speaker 2: I will stand behind sand I this this is it's
- 19:18Speaker 2: it's yellowish. I mean I could call this yellow. I
- 19:21Speaker 2: caught gold. Maybe there's no fucking world in which this
- 19:25Speaker 2: is green.
- 19:25Speaker 3: Would you say there are green undertones?
- 19:28Speaker 2: You know what? Actually?
- 19:29Speaker 4: Unfortunately, yes, Unfortunately, I would actually say that this is
- 19:34Speaker 4: like it is a it is a greenier yellow.
- 19:40Speaker 2: It's not green.
- 19:42Speaker 3: Well, do you know what the official name is?
- 19:46Speaker 5: No?
- 19:46Speaker 3: What is it Spanish? Olive? No? I did a lot
- 19:50Speaker 3: of digging. I had to do a lot of digging,
- 19:52Speaker 3: too kind. I mean, I'm the one being gas list.
- 19:57Speaker 3: I had to prove that my reac was true. Now
- 20:01Speaker 3: you're grabbing yellow objects green objects. Okay, so this is
- 20:04Speaker 3: like it's the deodorant the I think a cold buyer
- 20:08Speaker 3: brought that actually and has a yellow cap. No, that's
- 20:12Speaker 3: not true, it's dairy glowly. Just grab a green object
- 20:19Speaker 3: and a yellow object and tried convinced me this is yellow.
- 20:24Speaker 2: So this is okay, Oh my god.
- 20:26Speaker 3: That scared me.
- 20:26Speaker 4: First second, Oh no, this is the adrenaline portion of my.
- 20:32Speaker 3: Heart is pounding, sweating. Yeah, I'm just questioning my entire
- 20:37Speaker 3: past at this point.
- 20:38Speaker 2: You're not color blind? No?
- 20:40Speaker 3: No, I go to the optometrists once a year. They
- 20:42Speaker 3: do the whole test.
- 20:43Speaker 2: Do they do a color blind test?
- 20:44Speaker 3: Yeah? Have you ever done that? It's very fun. Actually
- 20:46Speaker 3: you get to look at like they'll have like a letter,
- 20:48Speaker 3: it's made of dots, and you have to like kind
- 20:50Speaker 3: of pick out if what the letter is or something.
- 20:53Speaker 2: Do you go to the optometrists once a year.
- 20:54Speaker 3: Because I have contexts, So I've got to re up
- 20:57Speaker 3: my description.
- 20:58Speaker 2: Get I have better than twenty twenty vision.
- 21:00Speaker 3: What does that mean?
- 21:02Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I can see better than yeah yeah yeah,
- 21:08Speaker 2: that's actually true. So I can fly fighter jets. Get me?
- 21:13Speaker 2: Is that military?
- 21:14Speaker 3: You kind of look like you should be flying jumpsuit
- 21:17Speaker 3: right now?
- 21:19Speaker 2: It sort of.
- 21:19Speaker 4: I also sort of feel powerful holding this juicer. You know,
- 21:22Speaker 4: I have my weird little kingdom now, you know, I
- 21:25Speaker 4: have I have my what.
- 21:26Speaker 2: Is this called?
- 21:27Speaker 3: What is it a lime? Yeah, that's a scept I.
- 21:29Speaker 2: Have my scepter. I have my bag, in front of me.
- 21:32Speaker 3: And you've got like a weapon, You've got a spray
- 21:34Speaker 3: deodoran spray as an attacker. Wow yeah, wow, But this
- 21:40Speaker 3: better than twenty twenty vision, Like that just feels made
- 21:43Speaker 3: up to me. What does that mean in practical terms?
- 21:46Speaker 2: I think, I mean, I think it means it means
- 21:49Speaker 2: a serial good. I don't, I don't know. It's just
- 21:54Speaker 2: like just told you that a nurse nurse.
- 21:57Speaker 3: Okay, so now we're getting into some territory of a
- 21:59Speaker 3: non fashional, not non expert, I would.
- 22:02Speaker 2: Say, but I read. I read the whole eye chart.
- 22:05Speaker 3: Okay. Wow, I don't think I've ever been able to
- 22:08Speaker 3: do that.
- 22:08Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you could. I think twenty twenty is
- 22:10Speaker 4: like gets to a line and then there's below.
- 22:12Speaker 3: Okay, wow, fascinating You are immune from bed bugs? Yeah,
- 22:17Speaker 3: better than twenty twenty fashion. Again, like what's happening DNA wise?
- 22:22Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, look, I genuinely I think I am
- 22:27Speaker 4: strong and good and the fact that this is such
- 22:34Speaker 4: a like real part of me, This this sort of
- 22:36Speaker 4: like incredibly cocky, proud of myself.
- 22:40Speaker 2: Grimy, weird little monster.
- 22:44Speaker 4: And then also there's a part of me that's like
- 22:46Speaker 4: I'm such a piece of shit, and I've never accomplished
- 22:48Speaker 4: anything good in my life and I should quit. I
- 22:50Speaker 4: should give up now. And that part comes out when
- 22:52Speaker 4: I drink. So it's actually good you're getting this because
- 22:55Speaker 4: I haven't been drinking.
- 22:56Speaker 3: Right, interesting, Yeah, we can thank the festival for the yeah, yeah.
- 23:00Speaker 4: Yeah, for for whatever, for whatever, arrogant shitthead, I'm being
- 23:04Speaker 4: right now.
- 23:06Speaker 3: Well, I mean speaking of things that a piece of
- 23:08Speaker 3: shit would do. I was so excited to have you
- 23:11Speaker 3: here on the podcast today.
- 23:12Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here.
- 23:13Speaker 3: I thought, you know, Chloe, you'll come by. We'll just
- 23:16Speaker 3: have a nice conversation and just move on. The podcast
- 23:22Speaker 3: is called I said no gifts, so I was absolutely
- 23:26Speaker 3: floored when you came trotting into the studio holding this
- 23:31Speaker 3: Austin Powers level bag, kind of psychedelic gift bag.
- 23:35Speaker 2: Yes, this is for me, it is for you.
- 23:38Speaker 4: I look, this bag is my my signal that I
- 23:46Speaker 4: understand that we have slightly different vibes.
- 23:48Speaker 2: Right. I cleaned myself up, right. I bought a flower bag.
- 23:52Speaker 2: I didn't I had it.
- 23:54Speaker 4: I had it in a Vaughn's plastic bag that I
- 23:56Speaker 4: got out of the gutter.
- 23:57Speaker 2: But then I was like, I don't think Bridger is
- 23:59Speaker 2: gonna lie like this.
- 24:01Speaker 4: I think I need to have a nicer wrapping vessel.
- 24:05Speaker 2: So that's why I got to feel.
- 24:07Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna reach in and something's gonna bite me.
- 24:08Speaker 4: Yeah. Now there are two items in.
- 24:11Speaker 3: Okay, did should I take the mountain in specific order?
- 24:14Speaker 2: No? No, No, I think they can come out together. Yes,
- 24:23Speaker 2: that's think I've got.
- 24:25Speaker 3: Oh. Oh, these are gorgeous.
- 24:29Speaker 2: I'm so glad.
- 24:31Speaker 3: What are these bracelets? Or are these for like a
- 24:34Speaker 3: gorgeous ponytail?
- 24:35Speaker 4: They look if you can, if you can find a
- 24:37Speaker 4: ponytail fat enough, imagine the hair.
- 24:40Speaker 2: Incredible.
- 24:41Speaker 4: I think I think that actually would go around the
- 24:43Speaker 4: tail of a pony.
- 24:45Speaker 3: Oh wow, can you imagine the pony? Yeah, pretty pony
- 24:48Speaker 3: with this thing on. Yeah, that's sued the Princess of
- 24:51Speaker 3: the farms.
- 24:53Speaker 2: Yeah, and she she goes drunk with power.
- 24:56Speaker 3: Yes, starts killing other animals, starts holding a scepter, tramples
- 25:00Speaker 3: the farmer's wife. Yes, yes, these are bracelets for.
- 25:05Speaker 2: Uh who?
- 25:07Speaker 4: Well for one of them, the one that you're holding
- 25:09Speaker 4: in your right hands, for my dead grandmother.
- 25:13Speaker 1: Her?
- 25:14Speaker 3: How big was her hand?
- 25:16Speaker 2: She was a tiny, tiny, tiny new York jew.
- 25:20Speaker 3: She must have been like four feet tall.
- 25:21Speaker 4: She truly was under five feet, right, and it shocks
- 25:24Speaker 4: me that that could possibly have not slipped off of
- 25:27Speaker 4: her hand. But yeah, whoa, it must have just been
- 25:30Speaker 4: very annoying, you know, sort of jangling.
- 25:31Speaker 3: Around because there's no way I could fit this around
- 25:34Speaker 3: three fingers. I don't have big hands.
- 25:36Speaker 2: Yeah, oh oh it does.
- 25:38Speaker 3: It does open up.
- 25:39Speaker 1: Oh.
- 25:39Speaker 2: We were going in different directions.
- 25:40Speaker 3: I was saying, okay, I'm putting these on a medium.
- 25:43Speaker 4: Okay, good, you put them on. And then this one
- 25:45Speaker 4: that just pulls apart. No, no, no, at the that's the spring.
- 25:49Speaker 2: Yes, there you go. Yeah, you got it.
- 25:51Speaker 3: Wow, I'm feeling so pretty already.
- 25:52Speaker 2: Look at that.
- 25:54Speaker 3: And is this also your?
- 25:55Speaker 2: This one? Now?
- 25:56Speaker 4: That one I got at a I think I got
- 25:59Speaker 4: it at a garage, so okay, And.
- 26:01Speaker 2: I genuinely love that one, okay.
- 26:04Speaker 4: And I have spent years being like, I'm gonna wear
- 26:06Speaker 4: it some day and I never have and I've never
- 26:10Speaker 4: figured out a time to wear that.
- 26:12Speaker 3: How did you bring these two? Because you're here from
- 26:16Speaker 3: New York?
- 26:17Speaker 2: Yes?
- 26:17Speaker 3: Did you bring these for the podcast?
- 26:19Speaker 5: Yes?
- 26:20Speaker 4: They're beautiful and they're just two things that I never
- 26:25Speaker 4: ever ever wear, And I think at this point I
- 26:27Speaker 4: never will wear.
- 26:28Speaker 2: But I don't want them to just I was like.
- 26:31Speaker 4: Nothing, I don't want them to be nothing right, And
- 26:33Speaker 4: so they're here.
- 26:34Speaker 3: I feel guilty taking these from you.
- 26:35Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no.
- 26:36Speaker 3: It's very rare that I feel guilty taking anything from
- 26:38Speaker 3: a guest.
- 26:40Speaker 4: Well good, I'm honestly, I think based on the vibe
- 26:43Speaker 4: that I've given so far, you wouldn't expect that I
- 26:45Speaker 4: brought something you feel guilty into.
- 26:49Speaker 3: I feel so powerful in these thrilled Wow. So did
- 26:54Speaker 3: you have a good relationship with your grandma?
- 26:56Speaker 2: I kind of barely knew her.
- 26:57Speaker 4: Okay, my my dad was the youngest of four, and
- 27:04Speaker 4: then he had me when I was forty five.
- 27:06Speaker 2: When I was forty three.
- 27:07Speaker 3: It was a very strange father giving birth to a.
- 27:10Speaker 2: Forty came out.
- 27:11Speaker 4: I came out, you know, hair dye in hand. I'm
- 27:15Speaker 4: starting to go gray. I gotta cover this up. Somebody
- 27:18Speaker 4: get me a white wine with ice Cubesah, really came
- 27:24Speaker 4: up with an attitude. No, he was forty three when
- 27:26Speaker 4: I was born, and he is the youngest of four,
- 27:28Speaker 4: and so my grandmother was eighty when.
- 27:32Speaker 2: I was born. Oh, and she lived.
- 27:34Speaker 4: In New York, and I was born in Philly. But
- 27:35Speaker 4: then my dad my parents split up when I was
- 27:38Speaker 4: a baby, and my mom moved back to Minnesota.
- 27:41Speaker 3: Oh, where she was from, right right, and.
- 27:44Speaker 4: She brought me and so I grew up like visiting
- 27:46Speaker 4: my grandma once a year, right, So, I like, I
- 27:49Speaker 4: didn't really know her. And then at her funeral, my cousins,
- 27:51Speaker 4: who are all like twenty and twenty five years older
- 27:53Speaker 4: than me, we're all like, we loved all these memories
- 27:57Speaker 4: of Grandma. Grandma given us back rubs, Grandma make us brown,
- 28:00Speaker 4: He's Grandma. And I was like, god, I have kind
- 28:02Speaker 4: of one memory of Grandma, and that was her telling
- 28:04Speaker 4: me to turn on the light because I was reading
- 28:06Speaker 4: in the dark and it was going to hurt my eyes.
- 28:08Speaker 2: And you know what that means? I would have had
- 28:11Speaker 2: even better.
- 28:12Speaker 3: That's right, Oh my god, you'd be unstopaby. Yeah, yeah,
- 28:16Speaker 3: you'd be predator.
- 28:19Speaker 2: But at least I could kill Alien?
- 28:22Speaker 3: Does Predator kill Alien?
- 28:25Speaker 2: In Alien v? Predator?
- 28:27Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 28:28Speaker 3: Do we know who the winner was?
- 28:30Speaker 2: I assume there is a sequel to Alien VI.
- 28:32Speaker 3: I bet there's a truce. I bet they'd come together
- 28:34Speaker 3: as friends, right.
- 28:36Speaker 2: Hey, buddies.
- 28:37Speaker 4: The last shot is Alien Predator sitting on one of
- 28:40Speaker 4: those like rocking swings that old people have in their
- 28:44Speaker 4: front yards as the sun goes down over a lake.
- 28:47Speaker 3: They're on a tandem bike. Oh, we have more in
- 28:50Speaker 3: common than we think. Well, look at that Alien. I
- 28:53Speaker 3: wonder I feel like Predator probably one. Predator is probably
- 28:57Speaker 3: more of a I feel like Predator could wear ants,
- 29:00Speaker 3: like it's a sort of creature that like is one
- 29:02Speaker 3: step above Alien, which is just kind of a giant
- 29:04Speaker 3: bug Alien.
- 29:05Speaker 4: Yes, Alien in pants does need to cut like a
- 29:08Speaker 4: hole for its.
- 29:09Speaker 3: Table, right, It's like it's more like I can imagine
- 29:12Speaker 3: Alien using a litter box more than Predator.
- 29:15Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, Predator. Predator ships into a hole that
- 29:20Speaker 4: it has lasered into the ground, and then it sort
- 29:23Speaker 4: of lasers its own ship into little ash and then
- 29:26Speaker 4: uses that ash to.
- 29:28Speaker 2: Make a map of where Alien lives.
- 29:30Speaker 3: Very resourceful.
- 29:31Speaker 2: Yeah looe, where did that improv come from?
- 29:37Speaker 3: No idea, where did that fan fag come from? I
- 29:42Speaker 3: think we're both passionate about these two. Yeah, so you
- 29:46Speaker 3: had very.
- 29:47Speaker 2: Few seen Alien Predator. Sorry, we had a really off
- 29:50Speaker 2: We had a real clear off ramp there.
- 29:53Speaker 3: I haven't have you, I guess, unless as a very
- 29:56Speaker 3: forgettable ending, which you could. I love Alien the movie. Yes,
- 30:00Speaker 3: I think Alien is one of my all time favorites.
- 30:03Speaker 3: To be honest, I think it's so good.
- 30:04Speaker 4: I saw it once when I was fourteen, and I
- 30:07Speaker 4: was with my dad and I was sick. And my
- 30:09Speaker 4: dad called my mom and he was like, what do
- 30:11Speaker 4: I do with her? She's sick and she's fucking boring.
- 30:15Speaker 4: And my mom said, I don't noticit her on the
- 30:17Speaker 4: couch and watch a movie. And he said, great, this
- 30:19Speaker 4: is the perfect time for us to watch Alien. I'm
- 30:22Speaker 4: sick at fourteen.
- 30:23Speaker 3: So stressful to be watching well sick.
- 30:25Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember, I remember liking the movie, but I
- 30:27Speaker 4: remember almost nothing about it.
- 30:28Speaker 3: Oh it's fantastic, it's really great. But then the rest
- 30:32Speaker 3: of them I'm not that crazy about.
- 30:33Speaker 2: I remember Aliens.
- 30:35Speaker 3: It's not for me. People like that movie not for me.
- 30:37Speaker 2: Okay. All I remember about that is big wall of
- 30:40Speaker 2: dead bodies.
- 30:41Speaker 3: Oh.
- 30:41Speaker 4: Interesting, that's the only thing I remember, because dead bodies
- 30:44Speaker 4: is my number two fear after number one bead bugs.
- 30:47Speaker 3: Oh, just dead bodies. Yeah, I guess that's a pretty
- 30:51Speaker 3: natural fear.
- 30:52Speaker 2: Everybody.
- 30:52Speaker 4: This is the reaction that everybody has, And I'm like, no,
- 30:54Speaker 4: I think I think for me, it's like I'm like
- 30:56Speaker 4: more freaked out.
- 30:57Speaker 2: I'm like I'm more I'm they like really get me,
- 31:01Speaker 2: Like yeah, it's.
- 31:03Speaker 3: Kind of a better than twenty twenty situation. I have
- 31:06Speaker 3: an edge on being scared of dead bodies.
- 31:08Speaker 4: More afraid of dead bodies than most people are.
- 31:12Speaker 3: Not to brag, do you know what my biggest fear
- 31:16Speaker 3: was for essentially my entire childhood hunt of virus.
- 31:21Speaker 2: No, because you're in Utah where there is hunted virus.
- 31:24Speaker 3: So I mean, and my probably a big fear for
- 31:28Speaker 3: me as an adult is going on a cruise. So
- 31:30Speaker 3: like these things combining.
- 31:31Speaker 2: Fucking god, hell has the last two weeks been like
- 31:33Speaker 2: for you?
- 31:34Speaker 3: There really was a day where it's like I have
- 31:36Speaker 3: to I've just got to not think about this. I
- 31:38Speaker 3: need to find just a reasonable news article that's not
- 31:42Speaker 3: stoking any flames, because I think that fear could get
- 31:45Speaker 3: out of control.
- 31:46Speaker 4: Oh my god, And do you have do you have
- 31:48Speaker 4: any kind of like OCD tendencies or like hypochondriacal tendencies.
- 31:54Speaker 3: No, I don't really, I mean, but through that fear
- 31:57Speaker 3: as a kid, I like there were there were years
- 32:00Speaker 3: where I was not able to sleep alone, and when
- 32:03Speaker 3: I would sleep, I would cover my entire body up
- 32:05Speaker 3: to my head, worried that a mouse might come in
- 32:08Speaker 3: and bite me or give me unt virus.
- 32:11Speaker 4: Wow, wait, can you get hounta virus from a mouse bite?
- 32:14Speaker 3: I don't think so, but I think I was just
- 32:16Speaker 3: covering my base.
- 32:17Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that makes sense.
- 32:18Speaker 4: Wait did you not want to stay blown because of
- 32:21Speaker 4: your hunt virus fear?
- 32:22Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah, hontavirus was absolutely horrifying to me.
- 32:26Speaker 2: It is it is your right. I'm going to say you.
- 32:29Speaker 3: In this it's uncurable. Correct, it's really a bad I'm
- 32:32Speaker 3: not trying to scare anybody. It seems like things are
- 32:34Speaker 3: under control. It seems like something that's slow to spread.
- 32:39Speaker 2: Yes, and it's and effective at killing.
- 32:43Speaker 3: Yes, which is kind of good.
- 32:45Speaker 2: Yes for an epidemic.
- 32:46Speaker 3: Yes, I learned that about rabies recently. Like it's hard
- 32:50Speaker 3: to get rabies because most from small animals, because it'll
- 32:53Speaker 3: be usually kill them before they get to you. Sure,
- 32:55Speaker 3: so that rabies was another Most of my fears were
- 32:58Speaker 3: rodent based.
- 32:59Speaker 2: As a child. Interesting any other road in based fears.
- 33:03Speaker 3: I think those were the two big ones. Just essentially,
- 33:05Speaker 3: being bit by a mouse was scary.
- 33:08Speaker 2: Big bad. Yeah what if you got bit by a
- 33:10Speaker 2: larger animal?
- 33:11Speaker 3: Okay, right, take an arm amazing? Yeah, yeah, it won't
- 33:16Speaker 3: get me a rabies not easy, yeh.
- 33:18Speaker 2: I back in Minnesota.
- 33:19Speaker 4: I grew up Minnesota and started Comedy of Minnesota, and
- 33:23Speaker 4: I the neighbor's cat, which was like a semi outdoor cat,
- 33:28Speaker 4: bit me once, and I it bit me a lot,
- 33:33Speaker 4: but this one time sort of seemed weird, and I
- 33:37Speaker 4: researched rabies and everything said, it takes like ten days
- 33:42Speaker 4: to travel from it bit me on the hand, It
- 33:43Speaker 4: takes ten days to travel from Do you know all
- 33:45Speaker 4: of this?
- 33:46Speaker 3: So you should have been there?
- 33:48Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, Are you still afraid of rabies?
- 33:50Speaker 5: No?
- 33:50Speaker 3: I mean actually I wouldn't mind giving it a spin,
- 33:52Speaker 3: to be honest, wore this thing?
- 33:54Speaker 2: Give yourself something interesting?
- 33:56Speaker 3: Finally, Yeah, I've got nothing else on my schedule. Yeah.
- 33:59Speaker 2: It.
- 34:00Speaker 4: It turns out that it takes ten days to travel
- 34:02Speaker 4: from your extremity to your brain. And it's only bad
- 34:04Speaker 4: when it's in your brain. If it says your hand,
- 34:06Speaker 4: that's fucking fine. Who cares, can't raby's in your hand,
- 34:08Speaker 4: You're totally fine. Not a big and so I and
- 34:12Speaker 4: within that ten days. If that it's only transmissible if
- 34:16Speaker 4: it's already in your brain. And so if the animal
- 34:19Speaker 4: dies within those ten days, if it's in your brain,
- 34:21Speaker 4: it's going to kill you.
- 34:22Speaker 2: Within a couple days, okay, right, And so you just have.
- 34:25Speaker 4: To see if the animal dies within the next week,
- 34:29Speaker 4: if you can keep track of the animal, that's the big,
- 34:31Speaker 4: but weird, tough, tough with a mouse.
- 34:33Speaker 3: Yeah, headed into its mousehole. Yea, it's out in the field.
- 34:38Speaker 2: Yeah, that's tough. But with a cat, I put in
- 34:41Speaker 2: a I put a calendar.
- 34:42Speaker 3: And just wait to see if you're going to die?
- 34:44Speaker 2: Is the cat dead? And then the cat was alive
- 34:46Speaker 2: a week later.
- 34:46Speaker 3: I got this car rather than seeing a doctor or anything.
- 34:50Speaker 2: Yeah, what am I going to do for it?
- 34:51Speaker 3: Would they be able to tell?
- 34:53Speaker 1: Uh?
- 34:54Speaker 2: No, I think they can't tell.
- 34:55Speaker 4: I think they just give you a round of the
- 34:56Speaker 4: vaccination preventatively, and I think the these vaccines are really unpleasant.
- 35:01Speaker 3: Oh, because you're getting a bit of rabies.
- 35:04Speaker 2: But I am inoculated naturally.
- 35:06Speaker 3: This can't possibly.
- 35:10Speaker 2: I think I could beat rabies.
- 35:15Speaker 3: You're playing with fire like you're inoculated. Why what a
- 35:23Speaker 3: nurse told me, no, Okay, I thought that I.
- 35:27Speaker 4: Was inoculated because this cat by, but now I'm doing
- 35:29Speaker 4: the math that cat didn't have rabies, so I'm but
- 35:32Speaker 4: I really do think I feel in my bones that
- 35:34Speaker 4: my body could is stronger than.
- 35:35Speaker 3: Rabies, and I think that's more important than actually being inoculated.
- 35:38Speaker 3: Just yeah, absolutely, but if you believe that you are it,
- 35:44Speaker 3: I think ultimately.
- 35:48Speaker 4: Wait, has seriously have you had like bad days over
- 35:51Speaker 4: the last couple of weeks about haunt virus.
- 35:53Speaker 3: There was just the one day when, like, you know,
- 35:55Speaker 3: because obviously because of COVID, like the flashbacks to that
- 35:59Speaker 3: of like I remember seeing people like making little jokes
- 36:02Speaker 3: about it and being like, well, I don't know if
- 36:04Speaker 3: I really And that's what was starting to happen, like
- 36:06Speaker 3: people in their Instagram stories making a joke about it.
- 36:08Speaker 3: I was like trying to stay centered in some way
- 36:11Speaker 3: where it's like this is different, yes, and it's hard
- 36:14Speaker 3: to get you know, reasonable information, yes, like trying to
- 36:19Speaker 3: because every news story is like, well and this person
- 36:22Speaker 3: they have made it onto the land or whatever. It's like, well, yeah,
- 36:26Speaker 3: but we know them where they are whatever, Like this
- 36:28Speaker 3: can be contained.
- 36:29Speaker 2: Well, the scary thing was the flight attendant, Right, wasn't
- 36:33Speaker 2: there flight.
- 36:35Speaker 3: I didn't know there's a flight attendant.
- 36:36Speaker 4: I think somebody who's not who wasn't on the boat
- 36:39Speaker 4: got sick. But I think, yeah, I don't know. I
- 36:41Speaker 4: mean I think we won't really know for a few weeks.
- 36:43Speaker 2: Right, No, no, no, no, no. And do you go on
- 36:49Speaker 2: Reddit at all?
- 36:50Speaker 3: Yes, I've read it read the last couple of years,
- 36:53Speaker 3: a recent Reddit convert. I made fun of it for
- 36:55Speaker 3: a long time. I thought that it's only for straight man,
- 36:57Speaker 3: but now it's the only good part of the Internet.
- 36:59Speaker 2: It is the only good part of the Internet. It's
- 37:00Speaker 2: the only one left.
- 37:01Speaker 3: Yes, it's the only place where you can find true
- 37:04Speaker 3: answers from human beings. Yes, so crazy.
- 37:06Speaker 4: I just type whatever whatever I want to type into
- 37:08Speaker 4: Google and then I just put Reddit in there.
- 37:09Speaker 3: Yes, that's the only way to find an answer at
- 37:11Speaker 3: this point. It's ridiculous.
- 37:12Speaker 2: Well done, Reddit.
- 37:13Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good for them for kind of sticking it
- 37:15Speaker 3: out as kind of just a place where people could
- 37:17Speaker 3: talk about Christopher Nolan. And now it's for everybody, and.
- 37:22Speaker 2: Now everybody can talk about Christopher.
- 37:23Speaker 3: Yes, now we can finally get it.
- 37:25Speaker 4: Reddit has sort of lived the arc of the loser
- 37:28Speaker 4: in high school who then like keeps themselves together, is
- 37:32Speaker 4: just committed to their identity for long enough that then
- 37:35Speaker 4: as an adult it becomes you're like, oh, that person
- 37:37Speaker 4: is actually kind of cool.
- 37:38Speaker 3: We're pretty solid, they're dependable, and they've been true to themselves.
- 37:41Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like interesting, they didn't they didn't go you know,
- 37:44Speaker 4: with all the trends.
- 37:44Speaker 3: Yeah, right right, hopefully they can keep that. I mean,
- 37:48Speaker 3: that's the same with Craigslist. Actually, Craigslist is i mean
- 37:51Speaker 3: basically a wil place. Yeah, but it's always been that way.
- 37:55Speaker 3: It's always been a place that you might get killed
- 37:57Speaker 3: or get a deal on a couch.
- 37:58Speaker 4: Yes, And Craigslist is the kind of thing where it's
- 38:01Speaker 4: like Craigslis is living the life of the of the
- 38:04Speaker 4: like emo grunge, piece of shit kid who then is
- 38:08Speaker 4: who is like I'm never gonna have kids and is
- 38:10Speaker 4: never going to have children, and now, as an adult,
- 38:13Speaker 4: when everybody else has children, is the cool person for
- 38:15Speaker 4: not having a.
- 38:15Speaker 3: Du completely and everyone gets to have fun with them,
- 38:17Speaker 3: and just like you can go to them for drugs basically.
- 38:20Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can go to them for drugs.
- 38:22Speaker 3: Absolutely what happened to the craigslist killer. Do we know
- 38:25Speaker 3: what he's up to?
- 38:26Speaker 2: I think another craigslist killer got up. He died by suicide.
- 38:32Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Baugust fifteenth, twenty ten.
- 38:38Speaker 2: But was it like the police are closing in? He
- 38:40Speaker 2: was awaiting trial.
- 38:42Speaker 3: Yeah, that'll do it?
- 38:43Speaker 2: Sure, okay, all right, honestly at that point, yeah, do
- 38:47Speaker 2: it go out?
- 38:48Speaker 3: Yeah, just it's time to go. You've done your Craigslist killing.
- 38:52Speaker 2: Yeah, you've taken a lot of lives. Take your own life.
- 38:55Speaker 3: Was he taking a lot of lives?
- 38:56Speaker 2: He was convicted of murdering three men in Ohio? Oh wow, crazy?
- 39:02Speaker 4: Okay, So by see and to me, you know what,
- 39:04Speaker 4: the scariest part of that is their bodies.
- 39:06Speaker 2: After they're did.
- 39:07Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. None of that else is terrifying to you.
- 39:10Speaker 3: It's fine, fine, just so let me see what.
- 39:12Speaker 4: Happened, because I think I could reason with a Craigslist.
- 39:15Speaker 3: You're putting again, putting yourself in very dangerous, yeah.
- 39:20Speaker 2: Dangerous territory.
- 39:21Speaker 4: And and I'm making I'm making a real cocky announcement.
- 39:26Speaker 3: It's just going to go out to the You're going
- 39:28Speaker 3: to have to really vet what you get from Craigslist
- 39:31Speaker 3: at this point. I wouldn't mind if you just run
- 39:33Speaker 3: them by me from now on.
- 39:35Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you up.
- 39:37Speaker 3: I'm happy to get in touch with these. I can't
- 39:39Speaker 3: be responsible for you being Craigslist killed.
- 39:41Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're because you are now gonna feel complicit.
- 39:44Speaker 2: Of course, we talked about it.
- 39:45Speaker 4: Yes, Hey Bridger, I'm gonna go pick up a printer
- 39:48Speaker 4: that only half works.
- 39:49Speaker 3: What do you think now? This is something you got
- 39:51Speaker 3: to guess?
- 39:52Speaker 2: Yeah? Where else am I gonna get that for free?
- 39:56Speaker 3: Ah? Well? Wow, I've got these. I feel like we
- 39:58Speaker 3: haven't talked about these at all.
- 40:00Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:00Speaker 3: Are you a big jewelry person? I like real it's
- 40:04Speaker 3: a nice ring. Where did that come from?
- 40:05Speaker 2: Freezook workplace?
- 40:07Speaker 3: Wow?
- 40:07Speaker 4: And I haggled for it, okay, listed for thirty five.
- 40:11Speaker 4: I came in at twenty five thirty.
- 40:13Speaker 3: What did you What was your initial offer? Twenty five
- 40:16Speaker 3: twenty five? Yeah, so they just met you.
- 40:18Speaker 2: They met me at at thirty oh at thirty at
- 40:21Speaker 2: thirty okay, and.
- 40:23Speaker 4: I biked from Ridgewood, where I lived, to Long Island
- 40:26Speaker 4: City and I met her on a sidewalk out side
- 40:29Speaker 4: of a Trader Joe's at nine thirty at night for.
- 40:32Speaker 3: A single ring, for a single ring, And then did
- 40:35Speaker 3: you slip it on and ride home?
- 40:36Speaker 5: No?
- 40:37Speaker 2: Then I think I went to a stand up show.
- 40:38Speaker 2: I think I was on my way to a spot.
- 40:40Speaker 3: But did you wear it to the show? Flashy new
- 40:43Speaker 3: piece of jewelry on stage?
- 40:45Speaker 2: I should have?
- 40:46Speaker 4: Yeah, I should have. I should have shown off. Yeah,
- 40:48Speaker 4: that's right. I got thirty bucks to spare.
- 40:50Speaker 3: What's the most you've ever spent on Craigslist?
- 40:53Speaker 5: Oh?
- 40:53Speaker 2: What a question.
- 40:55Speaker 4: I one time I paid my cousin's four hundred dollars
- 40:57Speaker 4: for their two thousand dollars couch.
- 40:59Speaker 2: Oh but that's that wasn't craigslis right.
- 41:01Speaker 3: That's a different situation.
- 41:02Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, probably probably a hundred bucks or something.
- 41:04Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I got a limit a hundred bucks.
- 41:07Speaker 2: I bought a new couch this year. I spent two dollars.
- 41:10Speaker 3: You did not use craigslist? Who did you use?
- 41:13Speaker 1: Uh?
- 41:14Speaker 2: Love joy Joy Love joybird Joy Birds love Joy something
- 41:18Speaker 2: like that?
- 41:19Speaker 3: Wow? What pushed you to use it to buying an.
- 41:22Speaker 4: My boyfriend was allergic to my old couch. It was
- 41:25Speaker 4: truly making him. It was it was he was waking
- 41:28Speaker 4: up like swollen eyes couldn't talk, voices gone so bad
- 41:32Speaker 4: allergies And is this.
- 41:33Speaker 3: The same boyfriend as bed bugs? No, okay, separate situation.
- 41:38Speaker 2: I date delicate man.
- 41:39Speaker 3: Yes, you do, just the daintiest flower, pathetic words. It
- 41:45Speaker 3: should be blown away by the lights, breeze. That's fine. Yeah,
- 41:50Speaker 3: they're like testing things out for you.
- 41:51Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 41:52Speaker 4: I dated one toxic muscular criminal in between them.
- 41:56Speaker 2: And he's the one who cut the light fixture down.
- 41:58Speaker 3: Oh, very good, So he had a purpose.
- 42:00Speaker 4: I bring him up, him in, he does all the
- 42:02Speaker 4: he does all the mechanical shit.
- 42:03Speaker 2: Then I get rid of him.
- 42:04Speaker 4: Then I go back to the fragile little flowers. Yeah, no,
- 42:10Speaker 4: I am no, but I am. Look I I here's
- 42:14Speaker 4: the thing. I don't like this bracelet.
- 42:17Speaker 3: You don't like it? No, I think it's great, listener,
- 42:19Speaker 3: It's like green and blue. What would you say it's
- 42:21Speaker 3: made out of?
- 42:22Speaker 2: No, this is yellow.
- 42:25Speaker 3: Again. There's always like a second of me thinking, oh no,
- 42:29Speaker 3: it's green, blue and gold.
- 42:31Speaker 2: Green blue and gold. So there's a little yellow on there.
- 42:34Speaker 2: It's costume jewelry, for sure. I have no idea. And
- 42:36Speaker 2: it's and it's I think I would assume that it's
- 42:38Speaker 2: from like the sixties.
- 42:39Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very chic, I would say.
- 42:41Speaker 4: And it's got like little enamel painting, like little I
- 42:44Speaker 4: think it's a little like painted glass enamel on it.
- 42:46Speaker 2: It's just like a it's just like a It's it's
- 42:48Speaker 2: very mod.
- 42:49Speaker 3: Do you think I could get away with wearing that?
- 42:51Speaker 2: Yes?
- 42:52Speaker 3: You think so?
- 42:52Speaker 2: Yes, I think so colored?
- 42:54Speaker 3: Vintage, Yeah, songs, it's vintage. And then what about this
- 42:57Speaker 3: other one? Do you like that? It looks more like
- 42:59Speaker 3: a little it's almost like a little crown.
- 43:01Speaker 2: This other one I've always imagined wearing like high up
- 43:04Speaker 2: on my forearm.
- 43:05Speaker 3: Oh interesting, that's kind of a I don't know what
- 43:10Speaker 3: that is, superhero, wonder Woman, wonder Woman.
- 43:13Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a little a little a little brace, right,
- 43:17Speaker 2: but you're not into it.
- 43:18Speaker 3: It's just so no, I mean, look at me what
- 43:21Speaker 3: You've got a gorgeous ring on right now?
- 43:23Speaker 2: That's true. That is true. I do have a gorgeous ring.
- 43:25Speaker 3: This thing, I mean, the one we're currently talking about,
- 43:27Speaker 3: I would say, is kind of for no one.
- 43:29Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for I honestly appreciate the validation.
- 43:33Speaker 3: This is like, I mean, unless you're twelve years old, yes,
- 43:37Speaker 3: or a figure skater eighty six figure skater. Outside of that,
- 43:41Speaker 3: what are you trying.
- 43:41Speaker 2: To prove to big spray of rhinestone?
- 43:44Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's a kind of just.
- 43:46Speaker 2: It sort of looks like something if somebody still wants
- 43:52Speaker 2: to love Claires.
- 43:54Speaker 4: The jewelers are in the mall, but they're an adult
- 43:56Speaker 4: and they feel like they can't go into Claire.
- 43:57Speaker 3: Right, this is this is all they're Claire. What do
- 44:00Speaker 3: you but you don't just wear this with regular clothes.
- 44:02Speaker 3: You've got to be wearing.
- 44:04Speaker 4: I think that there was a time Okay, I worked
- 44:06Speaker 4: in a corporate office before I did stay Okay, and
- 44:09Speaker 4: I worked in a corporate office from twenty twelve to
- 44:12Speaker 4: twenty fifteen, okay, And I think maybe even maybe even earlier,
- 44:16Speaker 4: maybe more like twenty eleven something. I think that that
- 44:20Speaker 4: age was when like J Crew was selling big rhinestone pieces.
- 44:26Speaker 3: Oh this makes sense.
- 44:27Speaker 2: There were like big necklaces with huge glass jewels. Right,
- 44:33Speaker 2: do you remember this? Do you know what?
- 44:34Speaker 3: I can imagine walking into a J Crew and seeing
- 44:36Speaker 3: even the models and the photographs wearing the sort of stuff.
- 44:39Speaker 4: I actually think that this I don't. I think that
- 44:41Speaker 4: this is from longer ago than that. I don't maybe
- 44:44Speaker 4: this is a J Crew to you know, twenty thirteen.
- 44:46Speaker 3: This is your from your grandma too, No, that I
- 44:48Speaker 3: got from a garage though.
- 44:50Speaker 2: Okay, my gift is bracelets.
- 44:53Speaker 3: You stayed on theme. Yes, with two separate sources.
- 44:56Speaker 2: That's amazing, separate sources.
- 44:57Speaker 4: My gift is things that are in my house that
- 44:59Speaker 4: I can't bear to just put out.
- 45:01Speaker 2: On the sidewalk.
- 45:03Speaker 3: But yeah, this don't get in my house anymore. Almost
- 45:07Speaker 3: certainly J Crew. Then this feels like a J Crew,
- 45:09Speaker 3: like it's by the cash register in like a little bus.
- 45:11Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and.
- 45:13Speaker 3: You're thinking, well this would go well with my new.
- 45:16Speaker 4: With my blazer, yeah, my cardigan. Yes, and this is
- 45:20Speaker 4: this really screams. I wish I was a wasp, you know.
- 45:25Speaker 3: That's the new collections. That's kind of just J Crew.
- 45:30Speaker 4: Yes, yes, J Crew says, if only my name was
- 45:35Speaker 4: on the deed of a sailboat.
- 45:38Speaker 3: Yes, but unfortunately I live in Arizona.
- 45:40Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, exactly, exactly.
- 45:44Speaker 3: Okay, well, these are gorgeous. This this will obviously become
- 45:47Speaker 3: part of the set and then I'm gonna I'm gonna
- 45:50Speaker 3: see what happens to my personality wearing this around friends,
- 45:54Speaker 3: see if anybody calls me out, I'm.
- 45:56Speaker 2: Curious for that.
- 45:56Speaker 4: For people's reactions, I really genuinely would like to hear.
- 46:00Speaker 4: The thing is that I think it's a very cool bracelet.
- 46:02Speaker 3: It's just so not me, right, yeah, but I think
- 46:06Speaker 3: it's very stylish.
- 46:07Speaker 2: It's from I mean a New York Upper West Side.
- 46:11Speaker 3: Yes, stylish old lady.
- 46:13Speaker 2: In the it might be even older than the sixties. Wow.
- 46:16Speaker 3: Well, I've got to be careful with that idea.
- 46:18Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 46:18Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I think we should play a game.
- 46:20Speaker 2: All right, let's play it.
- 46:21Speaker 3: We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse.
- 46:23Speaker 3: I need a number between one and ten from you.
- 46:26Speaker 2: Six.
- 46:26Speaker 3: Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get
- 46:29Speaker 3: our game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend,
- 46:32Speaker 3: do whatever you want. I'll be right back.
- 46:34Speaker 4: Wow, okay, promote. I'm promoting myself. That's because that's sort of.
- 46:40Speaker 3: A line, very non traditional.
- 46:42Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 46:45Speaker 4: I am at Chloe Backliffe on all socials and for
- 46:49Speaker 4: our New York friends.
- 46:50Speaker 2: I'm on tour. I do stand up. I'm going to
- 46:53Speaker 2: Seattle in Portland.
- 46:54Speaker 4: After LA i'll be in Atlanta, I'll be I'm all
- 46:56Speaker 4: over for our New York friends, I am doing I
- 47:00Speaker 4: have a solo show called Cheat, which is about how
- 47:03Speaker 4: I have cheated in.
- 47:04Speaker 2: All of my past relationships.
- 47:06Speaker 4: And I am doing that in August for two nights
- 47:08Speaker 4: at Joe's Pub August nineteen eighth and twentieth. So come
- 47:11Speaker 4: on out to see Cheat in New York.
- 47:13Speaker 3: And do you have any recommendations?
- 47:16Speaker 2: Yeah, let's see, let's see. I'm sure I have recommendations.
- 47:19Speaker 4: Umm. Look, this is a this is a bit of
- 47:22Speaker 4: a NEPO higher but I am dating a very funny
- 47:24Speaker 4: comedian named Stuart Laws.
- 47:26Speaker 2: He's British. Ok So if you're into that accent, look
- 47:30Speaker 2: him up.
- 47:31Speaker 3: He's very fragile. So if you don't like a fragile yeah, yea.
- 47:34Speaker 2: Oh he's allergic to a fucking couch. I mean you
- 47:36Speaker 2: should be. He should.
- 47:37Speaker 3: I can't sit.
- 47:38Speaker 4: No, no, yeah, he can't relax. But he's very very funny.
- 47:44Speaker 4: You should look him up.
- 47:45Speaker 3: That's a great recommendation. I don't think I don't consider
- 47:48Speaker 3: that NEPO. Okay, that's nice.
- 47:50Speaker 4: That's yeah, that's that's I'm earning points. Yes, because later
- 47:54Speaker 4: I can be a little bit mean to him.
- 47:56Speaker 3: Exactly. You need some sort of.
- 47:58Speaker 2: Leverage Hey, I promote, did you on I said, no.
- 48:02Speaker 3: Kid, doesn't that mean anything to you?
- 48:04Speaker 4: Please goddamn cook me fucking dinner. I am the idiot
- 48:09Speaker 4: husband and he is the long suffering wife.
- 48:11Speaker 2: Very very very much.
- 48:13Speaker 3: You have to have one. Yes, yes, Well, this is
- 48:16Speaker 3: how we play a gift or a curse. I'm going
- 48:18Speaker 3: to name three things. You will tell me if there
- 48:20Speaker 3: are a gift or a curse and why, and then
- 48:23Speaker 3: I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there
- 48:25Speaker 3: are correct answers, and you can lose the game, all right.
- 48:28Speaker 3: This first one is from a listening. They're very high.
- 48:32Speaker 3: This first one is from a listener named Darren. Gift
- 48:35Speaker 3: or a curse. When someone says, don't yuck my yum.
- 48:39Speaker 2: Curse, I truly I both hate.
- 48:43Speaker 4: I hate the sound of the word yuck and I
- 48:46Speaker 4: hate the sound of the word yum. Bad sounds two
- 48:49Speaker 4: terrible sounds yuck, yum, awful, so bad.
- 48:56Speaker 3: Curse correct.
- 48:58Speaker 2: It's also said by the word people.
- 49:01Speaker 4: It's that my people with who think that their entire
- 49:03Speaker 4: personality can just be voting for Kamala, like I fucking
- 49:06Speaker 4: hate yeah, curse.
- 49:09Speaker 3: Yeah. Just the phrasing is as bad as it probably
- 49:13Speaker 3: could be. Yes, it's in some ways, like I get
- 49:16Speaker 3: the philosophy just like, but then there's a part of
- 49:21Speaker 3: me where I'm I'm very pro snob and very pro
- 49:25Speaker 3: telling people things are bad. Yeah, So there's part of
- 49:30Speaker 3: it where I'm like, there's certain things like if I'm
- 49:32Speaker 3: eating something and somebody tells me that looks gross, Okay,
- 49:35Speaker 3: I don't do that. Yes, but sometimes it's like, if
- 49:38Speaker 3: someone has a bad taste, I'm.
- 49:41Speaker 2: You are what are you, bridger? If not a taste maker?
- 49:44Speaker 3: If not a tastemaker, would be on my grave. Yeah,
- 49:47Speaker 3: taste maker. Yes, yes, No, I think we've gone too
- 49:51Speaker 3: far in the direction of this. I don't even like
- 49:53Speaker 3: saying it aloud of don't yuck my yum.
- 49:56Speaker 2: Oh, we've were way too supported.
- 49:59Speaker 3: Yeah, we've got a yuck some things.
- 50:00Speaker 2: Yes, we have to go back to being mean. Yes,
- 50:04Speaker 2: that's sort of that. That's why I think.
- 50:06Speaker 4: I think how soft and supportive and like understanding and
- 50:12Speaker 4: empathetic we have we have the the emphasis on uh,
- 50:17Speaker 4: you know, understanding everyone's yum.
- 50:21Speaker 2: Everyone has a different yum.
- 50:23Speaker 4: Is sort of part of why the the people who
- 50:28Speaker 4: we disagree with.
- 50:29Speaker 2: Have gone so far in the other direction.
- 50:31Speaker 3: Just being like we.
- 50:31Speaker 4: Have not cleaned up our own house and yucked in
- 50:34Speaker 4: up yums over here.
- 50:35Speaker 3: We've got to occasionally. Not everything can be yum.
- 50:39Speaker 2: No, not everything can be yum.
- 50:40Speaker 3: Okay, you've gotten one correct so far. The second one
- 50:44Speaker 3: is from a listener named Molly. Gift or a curse
- 50:47Speaker 3: when an item of clothing is described as buttery.
- 50:54Speaker 4: Now hold on, when a material in an item of
- 51:00Speaker 4: clothes that makes up an item of clothing is described
- 51:02Speaker 4: as buttery.
- 51:04Speaker 2: Gift, Okay, this it's buttery leather.
- 51:08Speaker 4: Fine, I like that, but just being like that shirt
- 51:12Speaker 4: is buttery, I'm gonna say I'm gonna I'm going to
- 51:18Speaker 4: say a controversial I think it's a curse. My argument
- 51:24Speaker 4: for this is that I hate online speak in real life,
- 51:31Speaker 4: and I think that that being like, oh those pants
- 51:35Speaker 4: are buttery, it's like starting to get.
- 51:37Speaker 2: A little online speak in real life. So I'm going
- 51:40Speaker 2: to say a curse.
- 51:41Speaker 3: Correct. I don't agree with this in any I don't.
- 51:45Speaker 3: I think the first time I heard this was in
- 51:48Speaker 3: that documentary about the stretch pants or whatever. The what
- 51:54Speaker 3: that's all the information I'm giving you. I'm sorry.
- 51:56Speaker 2: Where this is? Where then diagram of our life? Does
- 51:58Speaker 2: that scheme.
- 52:00Speaker 3: Did you not say this about the pyramid scheme where
- 52:01Speaker 3: they were selling the faulty stretch pants?
- 52:04Speaker 2: No, what's a faulty? Also, what can boss? May be faulty?
- 52:07Speaker 2: They were not stretching enough.
- 52:08Speaker 3: They were I think they smelled and it was a pyramid.
- 52:11Speaker 2: Scheme sometimes, is it? Do you mean the like the
- 52:14Speaker 2: old navy jeans smell?
- 52:16Speaker 3: No, what's that?
- 52:17Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm talking about?
- 52:18Speaker 1: There?
- 52:18Speaker 4: Sometimes there's this specific smell that it's like cheap denim
- 52:24Speaker 4: and it smells like it smells like rubber.
- 52:27Speaker 2: Right, it's not denim. Okay, Interesting, I think you're smelling
- 52:31Speaker 2: the polyester.
- 52:31Speaker 4: I think you're smelling dead dinosaur bones made into genes,
- 52:35Speaker 4: you know, quote unquote genes.
- 52:37Speaker 2: Anyway, I wonder if that's what the legging smell like.
- 52:39Speaker 3: No, I think they smelled like dead bodies. To be honest,
- 52:43Speaker 3: ellis do you know everyone has seen this documentary other than.
- 52:48Speaker 2: Lula Rich.
- 52:49Speaker 3: Lula Rich is what it's called. And it was like
- 52:51Speaker 3: it was a pyramid scheme, okay, And people were selling
- 52:54Speaker 3: these horrible pants and the bodies they smelled something like
- 52:57Speaker 3: something sewers, crazy something, But they were described as buttery.
- 53:02Speaker 3: The feeling was buttery. I don't think you should apply
- 53:05Speaker 3: food adjectives, but maybe, well, yeah, maybe that's what was
- 53:09Speaker 3: going on with the smell. It felt buttery and smelled buttery.
- 53:13Speaker 3: But no, I just don't think that buttery should I
- 53:16Speaker 3: actually don't even think food should be described. It's in
- 53:19Speaker 3: the same category as yum or yuck. To me, I
- 53:21Speaker 3: got the word buttery. Yeah, yeah, there are a lot
- 53:24Speaker 3: of food adjectives that drive me crazy when people are
- 53:26Speaker 3: like melt in your mouth or falls off the.
- 53:29Speaker 2: Bone, falls off the bone. I don't like Yeah, you're right,
- 53:31Speaker 2: You're totally right. I don't like it.
- 53:33Speaker 3: Yeah, we need a new vocabulary for food. I think
- 53:36Speaker 3: all of it off the bone better slithers off the
- 53:39Speaker 3: battle except crawls out of the bowl. You've gotten two
- 53:46Speaker 3: correct so far? Ok, very good. Finally, this is from
- 53:48Speaker 3: a listener named Matt Gift or a curse googling someone
- 53:52Speaker 3: before a date.
- 53:53Speaker 2: I think, curse why.
- 53:57Speaker 4: I think it's just frankly, too much work. Frankly, I'm
- 54:03Speaker 4: gonna know within ninety seconds based on how their face
- 54:06Speaker 4: moves whether I like them or not, and you know
- 54:09Speaker 4: what I mean, And and then like it should be
- 54:13Speaker 4: based on the date. And I don't even mean like, well,
- 54:16Speaker 4: the person could present, you know, a lie. It's like
- 54:20Speaker 4: if you're if they're presenting a lie. I think I'm
- 54:22Speaker 4: gonna know, right, I might not know what they're lying.
- 54:25Speaker 4: I don't know, I might not know what the truth
- 54:29Speaker 4: is sure, but you'll see something.
- 54:30Speaker 2: It's gonna be fucking off. Yeah, and then I'm gonna
- 54:33Speaker 2: be like.
- 54:33Speaker 3: No, correct, you win a game.
- 54:38Speaker 1: No.
- 54:38Speaker 3: I think this is a curse.
- 54:39Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 54:40Speaker 3: I understand why someone would want to try, but first
- 54:43Speaker 3: of all, leave some mystery. Yeah, let the relationship play
- 54:46Speaker 3: out and get dragged out as long as possible. It's
- 54:48Speaker 3: hard to find somebody, So even if it's for a
- 54:51Speaker 3: few weeks and then you find out.
- 54:52Speaker 2: Way a little bit of your fucking life.
- 54:54Speaker 3: Yes, otherwise it's just going through more profiles. Wouldn't you
- 54:57Speaker 3: rather be lied to for a few months?
- 54:59Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I I would. I just it's it drives
- 55:04Speaker 2: me nuts to me. This is like people.
- 55:07Speaker 4: Trying to use the internet to be in control, and
- 55:10Speaker 4: I just frankly have have let life throw the dice
- 55:14Speaker 4: as it may.
- 55:15Speaker 3: M right right now. I mean, I think it's kind
- 55:18Speaker 3: of unavoidable. I mean, especially you end up seeing them
- 55:21Speaker 3: on Instagram or something. But if you can avoid, yeah,
- 55:25Speaker 3: try to avoid beforehand. Yeah, and then you can also
- 55:28Speaker 3: start kind of building your little mystery with them, like, Okay,
- 55:30Speaker 3: they'd said this, but now I'm seeing this. Things are
- 55:33Speaker 3: not adding up. I'm in danger. Yes, and uh.
- 55:36Speaker 4: Also the idea of coming into a date knowing things.
- 55:39Speaker 4: So I bet I bet that this right?
- 55:42Speaker 3: Wait?
- 55:42Speaker 2: Are you are you dating at this point?
- 55:44Speaker 3: I'm in a relationship.
- 55:45Speaker 2: Yes, okay. Were you were you dating around while you
- 55:49Speaker 2: had a podcast?
- 55:50Speaker 3: No?
- 55:51Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so I now I'm in a monogamous relationship.
- 55:55Speaker 4: But when times when I have been dating and people
- 55:58Speaker 4: have come in and been like, oh, I send to
- 56:00Speaker 4: a podcast that you were on, It's like I don't want,
- 56:03Speaker 4: I don't don't.
- 56:04Speaker 3: What do you do with that information?
- 56:06Speaker 2: I guess I would.
- 56:06Speaker 4: Rather they tell me than not tell me. And then
- 56:09Speaker 4: I like and then and then later they're like, oh, yeah,
- 56:11Speaker 4: that thing that you were telling me, I already knew
- 56:13Speaker 4: because I had heard this, But it's still like, it's like,
- 56:16Speaker 4: I don't want you to fucking know. I want you
- 56:18Speaker 4: to interact with me, to engage with me, as I
- 56:20Speaker 4: am the person sitting across the table.
- 56:22Speaker 3: Front right right. I don't think you should bring that
- 56:25Speaker 3: much information about the other person too, because then it
- 56:29Speaker 3: throws the chemistry off.
- 56:30Speaker 2: You want, you want a mutual level of information.
- 56:32Speaker 3: Yes, I'm both right. If you're going to listen to
- 56:34Speaker 3: me on a podcast, send me one of you, thank you.
- 56:37Speaker 3: And if you're not on a podcast, you're obviously not
- 56:39Speaker 3: cool enough.
- 56:39Speaker 4: And if you're going to Google me, then send me
- 56:41Speaker 4: your own Google results exactly.
- 56:43Speaker 3: Yes, uh yeah, I think we're in total agreement. Curse.
- 56:50Speaker 3: Let's answer a listener question people are writing into I said,
- 56:54Speaker 3: no gifts at gmail dot com, just kind of begging
- 56:56Speaker 3: for answers. Yeah, desperate, everyone's desperate these days. We helpe
- 57:01Speaker 3: me answer something. Yes, okay, this says I work at
- 57:04Speaker 3: a colonial And first of all, it says no deer
- 57:06Speaker 3: or no high nothing. It's just right into the question.
- 57:08Speaker 2: This person, this person is a is a New Yorker.
- 57:11Speaker 3: They're barging in. They don't have time, They've got to
- 57:14Speaker 3: get on the subway.
- 57:15Speaker 4: I will say, last time I was in La I
- 57:17Speaker 4: went to spoke bicycle.
- 57:19Speaker 3: Cafite oh, which I love, yes, lovely, and the.
- 57:22Speaker 4: Person behind the counter it was like a long, long
- 57:24Speaker 4: line and I got up there.
- 57:26Speaker 2: We were there.
- 57:26Speaker 4: I was there with friends for breakfast, and I got
- 57:28Speaker 4: up there and I said, They said, hi, how are you?
- 57:32Speaker 2: And I said I'm good. I'll take a.
- 57:34Speaker 4: Or Hi, how are you? And I think I didn't
- 57:37Speaker 4: say I'm good. I think I said I'll take a whatever.
- 57:41Speaker 4: I started ordering because I was like, in the interest
- 57:43Speaker 4: of efficiency, sure, and they said how are you?
- 57:46Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, my fucking god. And I
- 57:49Speaker 2: was like, I'm good. How are you? And they went good,
- 57:52Speaker 2: thank you. Now what can I get you?
- 57:54Speaker 3: I was like, Wow, I would be mad at that point.
- 57:57Speaker 2: I was. I was.
- 57:58Speaker 4: I thought it was a downding, and my friends who
- 58:01Speaker 4: I was with, we all thought it was astonishing.
- 58:04Speaker 3: But hey, hey man, I mean I get let's be honest,
- 58:07Speaker 3: you were being very rude.
- 58:08Speaker 2: I was, I was being an asshole.
- 58:10Speaker 3: But if someone's rude to me, yes, I'm just especially
- 58:14Speaker 3: if I'm working cash register. I'm like, yeah, I don't
- 58:16Speaker 3: care anyway, Yes, let's get you out of here. The
- 58:18Speaker 3: sooner you're out of here the better. Yeah, you don't
- 58:20Speaker 3: you won't tell me how you are. Yeah, you don't
- 58:22Speaker 3: want to be intimate with me?
- 58:23Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, anyway, So this person.
- 58:24Speaker 3: Okay, this person butts in. They say, I work at
- 58:26Speaker 3: a colonial House museum and I'm tasked with planning our
- 58:29Speaker 3: two hundred and fiftieth celebration of Independence day. I'm not
- 58:33Speaker 3: feeling particularly patriotic for obvious reasons and cannot find inspiration
- 58:37Speaker 3: for event planning. Bridger and Dearest rude guests. Oh so
- 58:40Speaker 3: they're kind of hitting us up at the end of
- 58:44Speaker 3: the email, whatever, what would you plan for the day?
- 58:46Speaker 2: That's from Jennifer for the day at a colonial house?
- 58:50Speaker 3: What fourth of July two hundred and fiftieth?
- 58:52Speaker 2: But what is that? One? Is the colonial.
- 58:54Speaker 3: Colonial House Museum? Okay, so I think usually they've probably
- 58:59Speaker 3: got they've got sparklers, they have some sort of made
- 59:03Speaker 3: out of raspberries.
- 59:05Speaker 2: To me, it's like.
- 59:08Speaker 4: The day, look, this is this is not a funny answer,
- 59:11Speaker 4: This is an earnest answer, but like, could the day
- 59:14Speaker 4: be celebrating, uh, ways that people like patriotically exercise their
- 59:22Speaker 4: right to free speech and like protests or whatever, or
- 59:25Speaker 4: like like civil engagement. Honestly, maybe just highlighting civil engagement.
- 59:30Speaker 4: And it's like, how does voting at the local.
- 59:32Speaker 3: Level just bore people to death?
- 59:39Speaker 4: Or what about highlighting I wonder if there's a parallel
- 59:42Speaker 4: between the Revolutionary War and uh, what our country is
- 59:51Speaker 4: right now.
- 59:52Speaker 2: And this is clearly the topics that I don't I
- 59:55Speaker 2: don't know, and we threw we threw off the the
- 1:00:00Speaker 2: idle of the English oppression.
- 1:00:04Speaker 4: I wonder if there's like a way that you can
- 1:00:06Speaker 4: sort of get the message of fuck the direction that
- 1:00:11Speaker 4: the country is going in right now out through the
- 1:00:15Speaker 4: lens of the revolutionary War.
- 1:00:16Speaker 3: Oh, that's that would be nice, you know what I'm saying.
- 1:00:19Speaker 3: Be kind of exciting. Yeah, yeah, I have a hard
- 1:00:22Speaker 3: time with this. The fourth of July just historically is
- 1:00:24Speaker 3: the where I bottom out each year, just deeply depressed.
- 1:00:28Speaker 3: Really yeah, and it's I think part partly to do
- 1:00:31Speaker 3: with the holiday, but partly it's just something's happening. I'm
- 1:00:35Speaker 3: always at a low on the floor.
- 1:00:36Speaker 2: There is a summer angst. Yeah, I know exactly what
- 1:00:39Speaker 2: summer angst you're talking.
- 1:00:40Speaker 3: And I think the dissonance of people celebrating is so happy,
- 1:00:43Speaker 3: yeah over something where you're like whatever you're doing. And
- 1:00:46Speaker 3: I don't like fireworks or hot dogs. I love fireworks.
- 1:00:50Speaker 2: Yeah, it does that really? That booes it up for me.
- 1:00:52Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's just me, it's a huge clash, and
- 1:00:54Speaker 3: then I end up just questioning everything on the fourth
- 1:00:57Speaker 3: of July, So I don't have a lot to say
- 1:01:00Speaker 3: about the We've got the big number two hundred and fifty.
- 1:01:02Speaker 3: You can do a lot of fun with that. Guess
- 1:01:04Speaker 3: the jelly beans, but I guess the number would be
- 1:01:07Speaker 3: two hundred and fifty. So that's not a good guessing game.
- 1:01:09Speaker 5: Sure, sure you could say you could guess well, no, no, no,
- 1:01:14Speaker 5: it's it's you have you have a big bucket of
- 1:01:16Speaker 5: jelly beans, and you say, try and get as close
- 1:01:19Speaker 5: to two hundred and fifty jelly beans as you can,
- 1:01:22Speaker 5: like right, Like guess.
- 1:01:24Speaker 2: That's a great game, you know what I'm saying.
- 1:01:26Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot of just avoidance. I'm kind of
- 1:01:29Speaker 3: saying avoid thinking about how terrible.
- 1:01:32Speaker 2: You could you could have.
- 1:01:33Speaker 4: You could have a little track around the house and
- 1:01:37Speaker 4: have one of the like ponies on a stick and
- 1:01:38Speaker 4: give people a tri corner hat and let them run
- 1:01:40Speaker 4: around and yell one if by land two if by
- 1:01:42Speaker 4: see right? Or she could do that or oh yes,
- 1:01:46Speaker 4: she holds up the lantern, and then you, like Paul Revere,
- 1:01:50Speaker 4: must run around the house and like telling people the
- 1:01:53Speaker 4: British are coming.
- 1:01:53Speaker 2: The British are coming.
- 1:01:55Speaker 3: I think that's a nice thing to happen at the museum.
- 1:01:58Speaker 2: That's fun.
- 1:01:58Speaker 3: Play some loud, non paid just like loud pop music.
- 1:02:01Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be our standards. Okay, just get
- 1:02:04Speaker 3: in there with some club beats.
- 1:02:05Speaker 2: Yeah, what about Party in the USA.
- 1:02:07Speaker 3: Party in the well. See now that we're headed in
- 1:02:09Speaker 3: a bad direction, because that makes it seem like it's
- 1:02:11Speaker 3: we're in a fun time.
- 1:02:11Speaker 2: It's pretty okay. We could play Born in the USA, which.
- 1:02:14Speaker 3: Is right one the more subtle.
- 1:02:16Speaker 2: Yes, yes, a subversive critique of.
- 1:02:20Speaker 3: The country, so entirely Springsteen.
- 1:02:22Speaker 4: Yes, yes, Springsteen has really been talking about He goes
- 1:02:26Speaker 4: for it.
- 1:02:27Speaker 2: He's talking about how Trump is bad.
- 1:02:28Speaker 3: Yeah, so there we go, Bruce, Bruce. Maybe invite Bruce
- 1:02:31Speaker 3: for some sort of guest speaker.
- 1:02:33Speaker 2: What about invite local union leaders.
- 1:02:37Speaker 3: Oh that's nice to speak in costume.
- 1:02:40Speaker 4: As Paul Revere, as Bruce Springsteen. What if you have
- 1:02:44Speaker 4: the local pipefitters union dress up as Bruce Springsteen in
- 1:02:48Speaker 4: the E Street Band and they guess how many jelly
- 1:02:53Speaker 4: how how big of a handful you need of jellybeans
- 1:02:57Speaker 4: to get to two.
- 1:02:57Speaker 3: Fifteen Happy Birthday America. I think we I think that's perfect. Okay,
- 1:03:01Speaker 3: all right, and then I mean, obviously start sending your
- 1:03:04Speaker 3: resume out before this and just Jennifer, you're obviously not
- 1:03:08Speaker 3: meant to be at that museum anymore. Anyway, you're begging
- 1:03:11Speaker 3: podcasts for answers. She's done. Yeah, well, we answered the
- 1:03:16Speaker 3: question perfectly.
- 1:03:17Speaker 4: I think the one thing that yes, I do think
- 1:03:19Speaker 4: we answer the question perfectly. I will say I want
- 1:03:23Speaker 4: in the same way that I actually want liberals and
- 1:03:28Speaker 4: smart people who I trust to serve in the military
- 1:03:32Speaker 4: and to be in.
- 1:03:33Speaker 2: The police force.
- 1:03:34Speaker 4: I am like, I want Jennifer to stay at this
- 1:03:36Speaker 4: colonial house. It's like making her life. But it's like
- 1:03:40Speaker 4: I cannot have these institutions that I think are are
- 1:03:44Speaker 4: like rampant with misinformation and power and misdirection to then
- 1:03:48Speaker 4: only be run by people who I think a very true.
- 1:03:51Speaker 3: She's brave for sticking around we need.
- 1:03:53Speaker 2: Yeah, Jennifer, you are. You are actually doing doing the work.
- 1:03:56Speaker 2: You're doing the work.
- 1:03:57Speaker 3: Yes, you're doing the Paul Revere's work. Yeah, so good
- 1:04:00Speaker 3: for her. Never leave the job, even if it's making
- 1:04:03Speaker 3: you miserable, Jennifer.
- 1:04:04Speaker 4: Yeah, let all those Republicans go and run like I
- 1:04:07Speaker 4: don't know, animal.
- 1:04:08Speaker 3: Shelters or something Kennedy Center. Unfortunately, I fucking got Well,
- 1:04:13Speaker 3: I've got my beautiful bracelets, got your bracelets, and uh,
- 1:04:17Speaker 3: kind of a renewed hope in Craigslist. To be honest,
- 1:04:20Speaker 3: I go home and start. I'm gonna dive again.
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: It's it's my it's my procrastination.
- 1:04:25Speaker 3: That's better than what I'm using my phone for.
- 1:04:28Speaker 2: What are you using your phone for?
- 1:04:29Speaker 3: Garbage? Social media?
- 1:04:30Speaker 5: Yeah?
- 1:04:30Speaker 3: Yeah, so if I could get into Craigslist.
- 1:04:33Speaker 2: I could.
- 1:04:33Speaker 4: It is my Craigslist is my This is acceptable, This
- 1:04:36Speaker 4: is inacceptable.
- 1:04:37Speaker 3: Yeah, fantastic, so much more interesting.
- 1:04:39Speaker 4: Figure out what you want, make a list of what
- 1:04:41Speaker 4: you want and search for that. You can save searchers
- 1:04:44Speaker 4: and Craigslist you can log in. They have an internal
- 1:04:46Speaker 4: chat feature. You can chat with other people on Craigslist
- 1:04:50Speaker 4: on their app.
- 1:04:51Speaker 3: Anyway, Well, I've had a lovely time with you.
- 1:04:55Speaker 2: I've had a thrilling time.
- 1:04:57Speaker 3: Thank you for being here. Listener. The podcast is over.
- 1:05:01Speaker 3: I expect you to leave. Goodbye. I love you, I said.
- 1:05:08Speaker 2: No.
- 1:05:09Speaker 3: Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is
- 1:05:13Speaker 3: Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.
- 1:05:18Speaker 3: The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann and
- 1:05:21Speaker 3: we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You
- 1:05:25Speaker 3: must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts,
- 1:05:28Speaker 3: That's where you're going to see pictures of all these
- 1:05:30Speaker 3: wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
- 1:05:32Speaker 3: the gifts?
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: I invit? Did you hear?
- 1:05:39Speaker 1: Thot a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest
- 1:05:44Speaker 1: to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said,
- 1:05:52Speaker 1: no guests, your presences presents, and.
- 1:05:57Speaker 2: I'm already stop. So how do you dare to surbey
- 1:06:04Speaker 2: me