Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / What If You Should Confront Someone in Sin │ Msg 512

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What If You Should Confront Someone in Sin │ Msg 512 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: All scripture is God-breathed and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof,
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Speaker 1: for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man or
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Speaker 1: woman of God may be brought to maturity, equipped for
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Speaker 1: every good work. Our goal every time we declare the
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Speaker 1: truth at this place or anywhere is to help equip
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Speaker 1: God's people to do the work God has called us
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Speaker 1: to do. Sometime that work is absolutely delightful and very fulfilling.
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Speaker 1: Sometime it is painful and difficult to pull off. I'm
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Speaker 1: involved in an interesting series that I've titled, What If?
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Speaker 1: What If? We began with What if God chooses you
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Speaker 1: to do something great? The next was, what if you
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Speaker 1: suddenly lose everything? And the third, what if a longtime
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Speaker 1: friend deceives you? Next was, what if you were being stalked?
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Speaker 1: Today we move into one that is perhaps the, if
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Speaker 1: not the, one of the most serious in the series.
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Speaker 1: What if you should confront someone in sin? Not a
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Speaker 1: pleasant thing to do, not easy to do. No one
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Speaker 1: who does it for the right reason will ever volunteer
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Speaker 1: for it. And we often do it with tears and
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Speaker 1: even with great reluctance. We don't know what Nathan went
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Speaker 1: through before he confronted King David, but you can be
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Speaker 1: sure he had long talks with his God before he
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Speaker 1: stepped into the throne room and confronted David regarding his adultery,
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Speaker 1: his murder, and his continuing life of hypocrisy. What courage
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Speaker 1: it took for him to do that. The story is
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Speaker 1: found in 2 Samuel chapter 12, you brought a Bible
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Speaker 1: with you, please turn. I'll be reading from the New
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Speaker 1: Living Translation of the Scriptures. I'll be reading verses 1
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Speaker 1: through 14 of 2 Samuel 12. Out of respect for
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Speaker 1: our God and His Word, may we stand for the
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Speaker 1: reading of the Scriptures. 2 Samuel 12 begins, So the
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Speaker 1: Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story.
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Speaker 1: There were two men in a certain town. One was
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Speaker 1: rich and one was poor. The rich man owned a
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Speaker 1: great many sheep and cattle. The poor man owned nothing
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Speaker 1: but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that
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Speaker 1: little lamb and it grew up with his children. It
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Speaker 1: ate from the man's own plate and drank from his cup.
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Speaker 1: He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter.
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Speaker 1: One day a guest arrived at the home of the
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Speaker 1: rich man, but instead of killing an animal from his
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Speaker 1: own flock or herd, he took the poor man's lamb
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Speaker 1: and killed it and prepared it for his guest. David
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Speaker 1: was furious. As surely as the Lord lives, he vowed,
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Speaker 1: Any man who would do such a thing deserves to die.
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Speaker 1: He must repay four lambs to the poor man for
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Speaker 1: the one he stole and for having no pity. Then
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Speaker 1: Nathan said to David, you are that man. The Lord,
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Speaker 1: the God of Israel says, I anointed you king of
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Speaker 1: Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. I
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Speaker 1: gave you your master's house and his wives and the
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Speaker 1: kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not
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Speaker 1: been enough, I would have given you much, much more.
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Speaker 1: Why then have you despised the word of the Lord
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Speaker 1: and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah
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Speaker 1: the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen
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Speaker 1: his wife. From this time on, your family will live
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Speaker 1: by the sword because you have despised me by taking
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Speaker 1: Uriah's wife to be your own. This is what the
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Speaker 1: Lord says. Because of what you have done, I will
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Speaker 1: cause your own household to rebel against you. I will
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Speaker 1: give your wives to another man before your very eyes,
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Speaker 1: and he will go to bed with them in public view.
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Speaker 1: You did it secretly, but I will make this happen
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Speaker 1: to you openly in the sight of all Israel. Then
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Speaker 1: David confessed to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.
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Speaker 1: Nathan replied, yes, but the Lord has forgiven you and
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Speaker 1: you won't die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have
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Speaker 1: shown utter contempt for the Lord by doing this, your
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Speaker 1: child will die. You may be seated. We're going to
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Speaker 1: learn today something of the importance of accountability. Another far
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Speaker 1: more significant than I made the statement, no man is
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Speaker 1: an island. We do not live in our own independent silos,
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Speaker 1: uninvolved with other lives and having no one else involved
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Speaker 1: in ours. We are made to intersect our lives like
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Speaker 1: teeth in gears. We're healthiest and safest when we are accountable.
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Speaker 1: And today you will have a chance to think about
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Speaker 1: your life as it relates to being accountable to others
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Speaker 1: for the way you live, for the things you say,
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Speaker 1: for the things you do. I think we will really
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Speaker 1: learn that we're to take God very seriously. We do
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Speaker 1: that when we bow before him in prayer. Would you
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Speaker 1: bow with me, please? Today, our Father, we have set
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Speaker 1: aside time to worship you because you alone are worthy
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Speaker 1: of our worship. We will learn again from your word
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Speaker 1: that you mean what you say, and none of your
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Speaker 1: words are idle words to be passed by thoughtlessly. Thank
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Speaker 1: you for loving us enough to give us this book
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Speaker 1: now in our own language and for providing with it
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Speaker 1: truth to live by. Truth, if necessary, to die for.
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Speaker 1: We do not take this lightly, Lord, In fact, we
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Speaker 1: take you very seriously. We believe you are holy. We
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Speaker 1: believe you are just. We believe you mean what you say.
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Speaker 1: And you have written it in a way that we
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Speaker 1: can grasp it so that it makes a difference in
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Speaker 1: decisions we make, in thoughts we entertain, in actions we take.
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Speaker 1: in words we use, in relationships that we cultivate. We
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Speaker 1: pause on this Sunday morning to give you thanks for
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Speaker 1: the privilege of worshiping you, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
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Speaker 1: who died for us, opening for us the opportunity to
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Speaker 1: talk with you directly through him, by your grace. Somehow,
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Speaker 1: our Father, we must learn how to balance your greatest trait, love,
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Speaker 1: with our greatest need, truth. They meet at confrontation and
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Speaker 1: we struggle with that. For one reason, because our Father, we,
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Speaker 1: feel that we are the ones who have often been
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Speaker 1: so wrong. Who are we to say anything? And yet,
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Speaker 1: you in your plan have designed a body that cares
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Speaker 1: for it. Organs that care about other organs. Members that
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Speaker 1: care about other members. Gifted individuals that groan and grind
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Speaker 1: when other members Fail and run and hide. So open
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Speaker 1: up our minds. May we hear what you have to say.
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Speaker 1: May we not put into these words something you've not said.
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Speaker 1: So we'll need the discernment as we see this story
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Speaker 1: before us. First as a picture and then as a
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Speaker 1: mirror and then as a window Give us sight to see.
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Speaker 1: Give us the mirror that provides insight. And give us
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Speaker 1: the window to bring us hope on this day. We're
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Speaker 1: going to give our gifts to you, Father, with confidence
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Speaker 1: that they'll be used well and wisely. May we do
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Speaker 1: so with integrity at this church. May every dime be
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Speaker 1: spent very carefully. May eternal things be impacted because of
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Speaker 1: each gift from each one of your children. Now, our Father,
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Speaker 1: we want to bask in your love for us. And
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Speaker 1: we want to tell you in these closing words, my Jesus,
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Speaker 1: I love you. and I know you are mine. For you,
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Speaker 1: all the folly of sin, I resign. Accept our words
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Speaker 1: and our gifts, which we give in the name of
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Speaker 1: the one who loves us to the end, even Jesus.
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Speaker 1: Everyone said amen. Amen. To say that we walk by
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Speaker 1: faith in no way says we are not accountable. Nowhere
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Speaker 1: in the Bible do I read verses like, live and
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Speaker 1: let live, whatever, or you leave me alone, I'll leave
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Speaker 1: you alone. You know, Jesus never promoted that message. No
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Speaker 1: one ever loved like Jesus loved, but at the same time,
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Speaker 1: he never shrugged his shoulders when one of his disciples
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Speaker 1: was moving in the wrong direction. He confronted it. He did. Now,
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Speaker 1: why would he confront it? Why would confrontation be that essential?
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Speaker 1: Because it proves we love someone. See, here's how it works.
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Speaker 1: It all starts with love. Because we love someone, we care.
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Speaker 1: for them and we care about them. We care about
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Speaker 1: their welfare. And because we care, there are times we
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Speaker 1: must say how much we care and occasionally it's a
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Speaker 1: confrontation caring. Think about those who care for others. Good
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Speaker 1: physicians who care for their patients confront them when they're
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Speaker 1: involved in unhealthy habits, and we expect them to. It's
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Speaker 1: a sign of being a good physician. Good coaches confront laziness,
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Speaker 1: sloppy play in their athletes. Athletes want to play for
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Speaker 1: a coach who cares that they play to the very
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Speaker 1: best of their ability, even if it means on occasions
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Speaker 1: of very strong confrontations. parents confront misbehaving kids and kids
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Speaker 1: that get bad attitudes. How often we've had to do that. Why?
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Speaker 1: Because we care about our children. We love them. We
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Speaker 1: want them to grow up and get a hold of
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Speaker 1: life and what it's like to live with a great attitude,
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Speaker 1: which means a bad attitude needs to be confronted. And friends, Really,
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Speaker 1: our best friends don't hesitate to pull us aside on occasion,
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Speaker 1: and all alone, not desiring to embarrass us, but to
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Speaker 1: help us address things that are going on that ought
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Speaker 1: not be going on. We're moving in a dangerous direction,
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Speaker 1: and if we're not going to get hurt that much,
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Speaker 1: others will, or maybe both. While I'm at it, how
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Speaker 1: about husbands and wives? A little confrontation there on occasion?
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Speaker 1: Of course. I read some time ago of a young
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Speaker 1: pastor who was really a good preacher. People found out
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Speaker 1: about it. They started coming more and more to their
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Speaker 1: little church, and before long, they had to add services
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Speaker 1: to make room for all of them. Finally, the multiple
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Speaker 1: services didn't work. They had to build a new building.
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Speaker 1: The problem is, along the way, he started believing in
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Speaker 1: his own stuff. No one noticed that, quite like his wife.
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Speaker 1: She began to weary of it. One day, after the
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Speaker 1: zinger of a sermon, the place was packed and
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Speaker 1: And so as he squeezes his head to
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Speaker 1: get in the car and as she gets the kids
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Speaker 1: in the back seat, he says to her, Mrs. Johnson
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Speaker 1: said that was a magnificent sermon. She didn't say anything.
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Speaker 1: So he added, she said, you're becoming one of the
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Speaker 1: greatest expositors in the world. Nothing. So we looked at
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Speaker 1: her and said, I wonder how many great expositors there
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Speaker 1: are in the world. She finally had to say, one
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Speaker 1: less than you think. It's called confrontation. Nothing like a wife,
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Speaker 1: nothing like a husband to pull us aside and tell
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Speaker 1: us what no one else will say. We don't do
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Speaker 1: it to control somebody else. We don't do it to
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Speaker 1: play king of the mountain or put somebody under our thumb.
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Speaker 1: We do it because we love them. And we know
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Speaker 1: they're headed for more trouble if they keep doing this
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Speaker 1: kind of thing. And it's a blind spot. So please
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Speaker 1: do not hear anything I'm saying as a reason to
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Speaker 1: become a legalist. No one has died and left you
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Speaker 1: in charge of the world. You do not have the
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Speaker 1: gift of confrontation. There is no such gift, okay? So
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Speaker 1: just put it down. If you enjoy doing it, you
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Speaker 1: ought never do it. You ought to do it with tears,
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Speaker 1: never with pride, never with joy. Your heart is broken,
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Speaker 1: and because it's broken, you have to say something, especially
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Speaker 1: because you care about that individual. So let's gain an
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Speaker 1: understanding of what confrontation is. It's love in action. It's
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Speaker 1: caring for another's welfare, helping someone realize they're headed for trouble,
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Speaker 1: for danger, if nothing changes. And the proof of your
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Speaker 1: love is that you will not look the other way.
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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that you want to gain control over
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Speaker 1: the person or legalistically put that person under your thumb.
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Speaker 1: You see, there's a vast difference between confronting another one
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Speaker 1: who needs to hear it and trying to control that
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Speaker 1: other person so that they become like you. Listen to
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Speaker 1: a few verses that come right from the scriptures. If
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Speaker 1: a brother is overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual,
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Speaker 1: restore such a one in a spirit of meekness. The
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Speaker 1: word means gentleness. Considering your own self, lest you also
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Speaker 1: be tempted. Did you hear gentleness? The confrontation is to
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Speaker 1: be a gentle experience. Not shameful. Not yelling, harsh anger.
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Speaker 1: But gentleness, lest you too one day fall under the
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Speaker 1: same temptations. Here's another, Proverbs 27, 6. Get this. Faithful
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Speaker 1: are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of
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Speaker 1: an enemy are deceitful. The Hebrew would amplify that this way.
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Speaker 1: Faithful are the bruises caused by the wounding of one
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Speaker 1: who loves you, but deceitful are the kisses of those
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Speaker 1: who hate you. If you're being kissed by an enemy,
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Speaker 1: you're not being encouraged in the right way. If you're
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Speaker 1: being bruised by a friend on a few occasions, you
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Speaker 1: are thrice blessed. Those wounds are faithful. I came across
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Speaker 1: another one speaking of wounds. Proverbs 20 verse 30. Stripes
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Speaker 1: that wound scour away evil and strokes reach the innermost
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Speaker 1: part of The New Living Translation says, discipline purifies the heart.
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Speaker 1: You know what? Every time I had been confronted by
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Speaker 1: a mentor or a close friend or my wife or
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Speaker 1: one of my children, my life has become a little
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Speaker 1: bit purer. Just a little bit better. Because I've been
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Speaker 1: made aware of a continued failure that was offensive. And
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Speaker 1: that person scoured away the evil with stripes that wounded.
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Speaker 1: Paul writes directly to the Thessalonians and doesn't pull any
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Speaker 1: punches in chapter four. Stay away from all sexual sin,
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Speaker 1: then each of you will control his own body and
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Speaker 1: live in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like
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Speaker 1: the pagans who do not know God. He adds this command,
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Speaker 1: never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter
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Speaker 1: by violating his wife. For the Lord avenges such sins.
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Speaker 1: As we have solemnly warned you before, God has called
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Speaker 1: us to live holy lives, not impure lives. That's 1
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Speaker 1: Thessalonians chapter 4, verses 3 through 7. and I could
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Speaker 1: name many others. You hear the passion in Paul's voice,
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Speaker 1: which comes through in his pen. You feel his care
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Speaker 1: for the welfare of his reader. There is humility there.
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Speaker 1: There is compassion there. There is a desire for holiness there.
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Speaker 1: But there is also the strong word of admonition. Don't
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Speaker 1: do that. Stop doing that. It isn't just that everybody
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Speaker 1: else is doing it. That means nothing to God or
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Speaker 1: to you, a child of God. It means adultery is
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Speaker 1: a violation and you stop doing it. Says the apostle
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Speaker 1: to Thessalonians, he loves too much to let them get
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Speaker 1: away with doing such a thing. So that's what it is.
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Speaker 1: What it isn't, trying to gain control of others so
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Speaker 1: that they become like you are. Our goal is to
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Speaker 1: become like Christ. Our desire is not to squeeze them
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Speaker 1: into our mold or to judge them out of pride.
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Speaker 1: It's being burdened because we care about them and knowing
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Speaker 1: there will be consequences if nothing is said. And in
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Speaker 1: light of that, I must be the one who says something.
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Speaker 1: And I say again, you do so reluctantly sometime after
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Speaker 1: a long period of thinking and praying for just the
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Speaker 1: right moment. It is, in the words of Ephesians 4,
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Speaker 1: verse 15, speaking the truth in love. In fact, there's
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Speaker 1: a pretty good guideline that we can follow in confronting love.
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Speaker 1: If you can do it without tears, you probably ought
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Speaker 1: not be doing it. It is painful for you realizing
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Speaker 1: that the wrong has been going on and that others
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Speaker 1: are being or will be soon be hurt. I will
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Speaker 1: tell you from my own experience, it has been my
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Speaker 1: responsibility on several occasions to confront wrongdoing in another's life.
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Speaker 1: Not just in the life of a parishioner, though that
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Speaker 1: occasionally occurs and I never look forward to it, never.
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Speaker 1: But sometime it is my responsibility to confront a fellow minister.
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Speaker 1: Word reaches me that something is going on and I
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Speaker 1: I do my homework and I find that that is
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Speaker 1: in fact the truth and that the person is living deceptively,
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Speaker 1: a deceitful life. And if nothing is done, great harm
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Speaker 1: will be caused the body of Christ. Sometime the minister's
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Speaker 1: own wife doesn't even know it's going on. And as
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Speaker 1: I wrestle with the Lord and deal with what he
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Speaker 1: would want me to do, and I often try to
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Speaker 1: invite him to use someone else, and I'll mention to
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Speaker 1: the Lord someone that might do it much better than I.
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Speaker 1: And I know they could do it better, but I
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Speaker 1: have no peace in that. The Lord is saying to me,
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Speaker 1: this is your call right now. This is your responsibility.
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Speaker 1: Act on what I'm leading you to do. And I
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Speaker 1: move into it very cautiously and very privately. This is
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Speaker 1: not something that is done before a large gathering of people.
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Speaker 1: You get alone with the individual and you confront the wrong.
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Speaker 1: Someone has called this tough love. That's a good name
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Speaker 1: for it. Tough love. Meaning it isn't pleasant. But it
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Speaker 1: is love. And love sometimes must do the unpleasant. I
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Speaker 1: want you to pause right now before I go any
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Speaker 1: further and call to mind a confrontation that occurred in
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Speaker 1: your own life. I'll do the same. I want you
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Speaker 1: to remember how at the moment it occurred, how painful
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Speaker 1: it was. And in fact, it was that. as someone
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Speaker 1: cared for you enough to pull you aside and to
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Speaker 1: say to you privately, I want you to take this
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Speaker 1: the right way, but I do want you to know
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Speaker 1: that something is going on that needs to be corrected,
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Speaker 1: and I want to help restore you. Remember, that's the
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Speaker 1: goal of confrontation. It isn't condemnation. It's restoration. It's to
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Speaker 1: help get the person back on track So their lives
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Speaker 1: will count for Christ. If it is done the wrong
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Speaker 1: way and for the wrong reason, harm happens. So I
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Speaker 1: want to be careful as I deliver this message that
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Speaker 1: I've set the stage correctly. And you understand this isn't
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Speaker 1: a free-for-all where we turn our lives into a privately...
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Speaker 1: rendered Gestapo as if we are now in charge of
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Speaker 1: others and we are now going to set them straight.
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Speaker 1: You never go into confrontation to set somebody straight. That's
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Speaker 1: the wrong attitude. You go in with fear and trembling
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Speaker 1: and you're going to trust God to use your words
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Speaker 1: in this very delicate but very sinful issue. Now then,
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Speaker 1: If you and I had lived in the heyday of
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Speaker 1: King David, we would have had life at its very best.
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Speaker 1: One wag put it this way, there was not only
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Speaker 1: a chicken in every pot, there were grapes on every vine.
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Speaker 1: It was a time of enormous prosperity to live under
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Speaker 1: the flag of the Star of David. What an honor!
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Speaker 1: An army that would protect you and a commander-in-chief that
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Speaker 1: was a warrior. He never once knew defeat on the battlefield.
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Speaker 1: How great to live under the command of that kind
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Speaker 1: of leader. That was David. His name was a household word.
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Speaker 1: People revered him far and wide. Had there been such
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Speaker 1: a thing, I'm sure that the going rate of respect
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Speaker 1: for the king would have been between 95 and 98%.
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Speaker 1: Who wouldn't love David? Not only did he lead well
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Speaker 1: and fight strongly, he wrote songs we could sing. Of
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Speaker 1: all things, a leader with that kind of warrior heart,
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Speaker 1: but a poet down deep inside. And he had a
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Speaker 1: way of winning your heart as he led you as
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Speaker 1: a nation. But at the particular time in which we arrive,
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Speaker 1: In chapter 12 of 2 Samuel, there are secrets in
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Speaker 1: the palace no one knows about. Only a few, and
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Speaker 1: they're sworn to secrecy. You see, one afternoon when David
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Speaker 1: should have been in battle, he took a walk on
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Speaker 1: the king's roof, and he noticed, as he listened to
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Speaker 1: splashing behind the roof, a naked woman bathing He didn't
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Speaker 1: even know who she was, and he said to his servant,
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Speaker 1: who is this? The servant is an interesting answer. He
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Speaker 1: doesn't simply say, oh, she's a beautiful woman named Bathsheba.
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Speaker 1: He says she is the wife of Uriah.
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Speaker 2: Ah, Uriah.
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Speaker 1: Uriah is later listed as one of the king's mighty
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Speaker 1: men in the list of 30 of them. Uriah was
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Speaker 1: one of them. She belongs to Uriah. You can't help
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Speaker 1: but wonder if the servant didn't know what was going
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Speaker 1: on in the king's mind. The king ignored the comment,
30:18
Speaker 1: told him to get her. She came to the palace.
30:21
Speaker 1: They went to bed together. They had sex. That's all
30:25
Speaker 1: it was. It wasn't love. It was sex. Raw, lustful sex.
30:32
Speaker 1: It wasn't a rape. She was engaged in it. She
30:36
Speaker 1: didn't scream for help. The two of them together on
30:40
Speaker 1: the bed where David may have sat to write some
30:44
Speaker 1: of his psalms are now engaged in a dark, deceitful sin.
30:53
Speaker 1: It wasn't long before Bathsheba called on him again David,
31:00
Speaker 1: you need to know I'm pregnant. I'm going to have
31:08
Speaker 1: our baby. That was David's moment to acknowledge the wrong,
31:15
Speaker 1: to confess it to those to whom he was accountable
31:18
Speaker 1: and ultimately to the people who would have forgiven him.
31:23
Speaker 1: And especially to Uriah, her husband. But he does none
31:27
Speaker 1: of the above. His creative energy moves into planning a cover-up.
31:36
Speaker 1: A cover-up. I've got to make this look like it's
31:40
Speaker 1: Uriah's baby. So he brings Uriah back from the field
31:43
Speaker 1: in battle, and he feeds Uriah a wonderful meal, and
31:47
Speaker 1: he tells Uriah to go and enjoy a romantic evening
31:50
Speaker 1: with his wife. Uriah is so loyal, he won't even
31:53
Speaker 1: go to his wife's house. One wonders if she even
31:57
Speaker 1: knew he was in town. He sleeps in the hallway.
32:02
Speaker 1: David hears of it, and the next day he goes further.
32:04
Speaker 1: He gets him drunk, feeds him a big meal, and says, Uriah, Uriah,
32:09
Speaker 1: for goodness sake, enjoy Bathsheba. She longs for you. Again,
32:14
Speaker 1: asleep in the hallway. Panic now moves into a chaotic
32:20
Speaker 1: realm of deceitfulness of sin. David grabs a tablet and
32:27
Speaker 1: writes a note on it. to give to Joab, who
32:31
Speaker 1: is the commander in the battle. He gives the note
32:34
Speaker 1: to Uriah. He takes his own death warrant, knowing Uriah
32:41
Speaker 1: would never look. Folds it, seals it, puts it in
32:44
Speaker 1: his pouch, and carries it to Joab. Put the man
32:47
Speaker 1: in the front of the battle. I wonder now if
32:51
Speaker 1: Joab might not have guessed what was going on back home.
32:55
Speaker 1: He knew the family of Uriah and Bathsheba. Joab obeys
33:02
Speaker 1: without hesitation. The spear of the Ammonites strikes Uriah and
33:07
Speaker 1: he dies. When Joab sends a messenger back to David
33:11
Speaker 1: to tell of not doing that well in the battlefield,
33:14
Speaker 1: he says to the messenger, mention to David that Uriah
33:17
Speaker 1: the Hittite was killed in battle. Everything will be fine.
33:21
Speaker 1: He does. David's response is hypocritical. Good, tell Joab to
33:26
Speaker 1: be encouraged. We'll move on. in spite of the loss.
33:34
Speaker 1: Bathsheba mourns for her husband. All of this has been
33:38
Speaker 1: done in secret. You know more than anyone in Israel
33:41
Speaker 1: knew at this time. And of all things, shortly after
33:47
Speaker 1: the morning, he brings her in for a quick wedding.
33:54
Speaker 1: After all, it won't be long before she'll begin to show.
33:58
Speaker 1: And in much less than nine months, it's obvious to
34:03
Speaker 1: everyone that there was something that had been going on.
34:08
Speaker 1: David never confessed it. At the end of chapter 11,
34:15
Speaker 1: all of the things I have described for you are
34:18
Speaker 1: wrapped up in a summary statement. The Lord was displeased
34:23
Speaker 1: with what David had done. How did David feel? Read
34:30
Speaker 1: Psalm 51. Read Psalm 32. He tells you how he felt.
34:40
Speaker 1: It was as if he were carrying a fever. The
34:43
Speaker 1: guilt was intense. He was driven close to madness. I
34:49
Speaker 1: love the words of Alexander White, the great, venerable Scottish
34:53
Speaker 1: preacher who stayed 47 years in St. George's Church. Listen
34:58
Speaker 1: to his words. How a man like David could have
35:01
Speaker 1: lived all that time soaked to the eyes in adultery
35:06
Speaker 1: and murder and not gone mad is simply inconceivable. There
35:12
Speaker 1: is no limit to the sacrilege and profanity of internal hypocrisy. Amen,
35:18
Speaker 1: Alexander White. But he could do it. The mind is
35:23
Speaker 1: an amazing thing. There are secrets going on in lives
35:28
Speaker 1: of some of you listening to me right now that
35:30
Speaker 1: would be a scandal at your home if the secret
35:33
Speaker 1: were known. David is living in this situation until finally
35:41
Speaker 1: there's a knock at his door and he looks up
35:44
Speaker 1: and he sees the face of a man who has
35:46
Speaker 1: endeared himself to the family. Several of my sources said
35:50
Speaker 1: Nathan had been earlier on the tutor of David's children.
35:55
Speaker 1: So he knows Nathan. Nathan, not only a tutor, but
35:58
Speaker 1: called elsewhere a prophet. Nathan comes. Imagine the responsibility. You
36:06
Speaker 1: and I sit here in this safe place, having never
36:09
Speaker 1: had to face a king, and certainly never having to
36:13
Speaker 1: confront one, and his is the unenviable task of standing
36:18
Speaker 1: before King David and calling him on the carpet, confronting him.
36:27
Speaker 1: He's thought about what he would say. I think Nathan
36:30
Speaker 1: has spent hours in prayer and thought, very creative thought.
36:37
Speaker 1: Watch closely. Nathan, the prophet, was sent by the Lord
36:44
Speaker 1: to tell David this story. Listen to this creative story,
36:50
Speaker 1: knowing what you know, Then if you can, put that
36:54
Speaker 1: on the back burner and imagine hearing the story as
36:59
Speaker 1: David heard it, knowing nothing of what is about to happen.
37:08
Speaker 1: There were two men in a certain town. One was rich,
37:11
Speaker 1: one was poor. The rich man owned a great many
37:14
Speaker 1: sheep and cattle. Poor man owned nothing but one little lamb.
37:24
Speaker 1: He had bought. He raised a little lamb and it
37:30
Speaker 1: grew up with his children. It ate from the man's
37:34
Speaker 1: plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in
37:40
Speaker 1: his arms like a baby daughter. Can you imagine David listening,
37:49
Speaker 1: thinking this is going on in his kingdom? There is
37:54
Speaker 1: a rich man somewhere in this kingdom. And there is
37:57
Speaker 1: a dear poor man who has nothing. One day a
38:05
Speaker 1: guest arrived at the home of the rich man. Instead
38:07
Speaker 1: of killing an animal from his own flock or herd,
38:10
Speaker 1: he took the poor man's lamb and killed it and
38:15
Speaker 1: prepared it for his guest. He doesn't even get to
38:18
Speaker 1: finish the story. David is furious. How dare a man
38:25
Speaker 1: do that in my kingdom? He's furious. He vows any
38:32
Speaker 1: man who would do such a thing deserves to die.
38:35
Speaker 1: He must repay four lambs to the poor man for
38:37
Speaker 1: the one he stole and for having no pity. Let
38:40
Speaker 1: me tell you about a story. A story has three parts.
38:44
Speaker 1: Don't ever forget this. I learned this from Warren Wiersbe
38:48
Speaker 1: years ago, and I've used this a number of times.
38:51
Speaker 1: A story, to begin with, is a picture. and a
38:55
Speaker 1: picture turns ears into eyes. What you hear becomes something
38:59
Speaker 1: you can see with your eyes. You've seen the poor man.
39:03
Speaker 1: You've seen the ewe lamb. You've seen the rich man.
39:07
Speaker 1: You've watched the scene as it happens, and the rich
39:12
Speaker 1: man kills the one ewe lamb that has been cuddled
39:15
Speaker 1: in the arms of the owner and the children and
39:17
Speaker 1: takes it to feed his guest. You see it all.
39:22
Speaker 1: The picture gives you sight. But there's more to a story.
39:26
Speaker 1: I'll get to it in a moment. While David had sight,
39:31
Speaker 1: he just burst out with this fury. Being a man
39:37
Speaker 1: of passion, he can't stand such injustice happening. Then Nathan
39:45
Speaker 1: said to David, It's exactly what he said. David, you,
40:02
Speaker 1: the man, this one. But he doesn't stop there. Nathan
40:14
Speaker 1: is not simply a prophet. He is now, if you will,
40:18
Speaker 1: David's chaplain. He's his pastor. He has had the horrendous
40:25
Speaker 1: task of confronting his king. And he's begun the process.
40:34
Speaker 1: Please observe that there's no shouting or screaming. There isn't shaming.
40:42
Speaker 1: There's simply the declaration of the truth. Watch how it unfolds.
40:48
Speaker 1: The Lord has revealed all of this to Nathan. The Lord,
40:51
Speaker 1: the God of Israel, says, I anointed you king of
40:53
Speaker 1: Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. David,
40:57
Speaker 1: I gave you your master's house and his wives and
40:59
Speaker 1: the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. If that hadn't been enough,
41:02
Speaker 1: I would have given you much, much more. The point is, David,
41:05
Speaker 1: you were so blessed. Plenty of cattle, plenty of sheep,
41:12
Speaker 1: plenty of abundance of every kind, plenty of food, plenty
41:17
Speaker 1: of victories in battle. Up till now, David's not once
41:21
Speaker 1: known defeat in battle. His life up until this time
41:25
Speaker 1: is like a rooftop on one side. Up, up, up,
41:29
Speaker 1: from Goliath all the way up to this moment. Victory
41:33
Speaker 1: after victory after victory after victory. And I would have
41:36
Speaker 1: done much more. My grace is abundant, David. You're a
41:40
Speaker 1: man after my heart. You were my model. You were
41:45
Speaker 1: Saul's replacement. There was no one like you, David. I
41:48
Speaker 1: would have done whatever. Why then have you despised the
41:54
Speaker 1: word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? Please
41:57
Speaker 1: observe what he calls adultery and murder. You won't read
42:00
Speaker 1: that in the paper today or hear it on the
42:02
Speaker 1: evening news. Ever. You will read it in the scriptures.
42:11
Speaker 1: You've despised the word of the Lord. You've done a
42:13
Speaker 1: horrible deed. You've murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword
42:17
Speaker 1: of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. From this time on,
42:23
Speaker 1: your family will live by the sword because you have
42:25
Speaker 1: despised me by taking Uriah's wife to be your own.
42:29
Speaker 1: You've done a horrible thing, David. For you have murdered
42:33
Speaker 1: Uriah the Hittite. He calls it what it is. I'm
42:36
Speaker 1: sure David rationalized, thinking, I just put him in battle
42:40
Speaker 1: and the spear of the enemy struck him. No, no, no, David,
42:44
Speaker 1: you murdered him. You knew what you were doing. The
42:51
Speaker 1: sword of the Ammonites took the life of this man
42:55
Speaker 1: and you have stolen his wife. This is what the
43:02
Speaker 1: Lord says. Because of what you have done, I will
43:05
Speaker 1: cause your household to rebel against you. I will give
43:08
Speaker 1: your wives to another man before your very eyes. He
43:11
Speaker 1: will go to bed with them in public view. That's
43:12
Speaker 1: exactly what happened. Soon as Absalom took over the throne,
43:15
Speaker 1: David abdicated the throne, and Absalom had sex with the
43:19
Speaker 1: concubines and wives right there on the same roof where
43:22
Speaker 1: David had lusted months earlier. He never did have a
43:28
Speaker 1: relationship with Absalom. That's another story. You did it secretly,
43:33
Speaker 1: but I will make this happen to you openly in
43:35
Speaker 1: the sight of all Israel. Then David confessed,,,.
43:47
Speaker 2: Ascend against the Lord.
43:59
Speaker 1: You know what happens at that moment? The picture becomes
44:03
Speaker 1: a mirror. It's no longer a picture of a rich
44:09
Speaker 1: man and a poor man and a ewe lamb.
44:11
Speaker 2: It's a picture of.
44:14
Speaker 1: Himself. There he is. And he sees it all, the
44:21
Speaker 1: very thing he's tried to escape from and hide and conceal.
44:26
Speaker 1: It's right there in front of him. Call for what
44:29
Speaker 1: it is. And he says, I have sinned against the Lord.
44:38
Speaker 1: May I tell you something that I hope you never forget.
44:40
Speaker 1: When you were called to confront and you're doing it
44:42
Speaker 1: under the command of the living God and you're doing
44:45
Speaker 1: it by his spirit following his direction, you will be invincible.
44:52
Speaker 1: At this moment, Nathan did not care that he was
44:54
Speaker 1: the king. Nathan was not impressed with all the king's
44:59
Speaker 1: achievements and the greatness of his 50 and more years
45:02
Speaker 1: on this earth or that the fact that the flag
45:05
Speaker 1: bore his stars. or the city bore his name. Nathan
45:12
Speaker 1: is impressed with his God, as is the job of
45:15
Speaker 1: the prophet to speak for God. Whatever may have been
45:21
Speaker 1: David's response, Nathan must say it. Remember that as well.
45:26
Speaker 1: When you confront, you may not get the response you expect.
45:29
Speaker 1: You are still God's invincible messenger. Say it. Say it.
45:40
Speaker 1: It was an awful day in my own life when
45:42
Speaker 1: it came to my attention that a man known for
45:46
Speaker 1: his great Bible expositions and the respect of those around
45:51
Speaker 1: him and the long, long record of accomplishments and an
45:56
Speaker 1: earned doctorate in theology and that's all I should tell you.
46:02
Speaker 1: The point is it came to my attention through a
46:04
Speaker 1: detective that the man had been having an affair with
46:08
Speaker 1: a student And he said, I need to tell you
46:11
Speaker 1: that if something isn't done, this woman who was married,
46:16
Speaker 1: the student who was married, her husband will kill him tomorrow. Tomorrow.
46:24
Speaker 1: He gave me a brown envelope with pictures that had
46:26
Speaker 1: been taken of the man in bed with the student.
46:30
Speaker 1: I didn't even look. I said, I believe you. Why
46:34
Speaker 1: are you talking to me? And he told me what
46:37
Speaker 1: I did not want to hear. You're the man's pastor.
46:42
Speaker 1: I would expect you to confront it. I tell you,
46:47
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, unless you're really called in ministry, don't
46:53
Speaker 1: even think about going. Don't even think about yes. Because
46:58
Speaker 1: a great deal of what you do, you will do
47:01
Speaker 1: because it is commanded of you, not because it just
47:05
Speaker 1: comes naturally with you. I like good news. I don't
47:08
Speaker 1: like bad news. I like to tell people affirming words.
47:13
Speaker 1: I don't like telling them things like this, but I
47:15
Speaker 1: told him. And I handled it as well as I could,
47:19
Speaker 1: and the results, I'll leave for later or no other time.
47:22
Speaker 1: My wife knows the whole story. But I will tell you,
47:26
Speaker 1: at the time I confronted him, I could not have
47:29
Speaker 1: cared less what his role was or how significant he
47:32
Speaker 1: was seen in the eyes of others. My message was
47:35
Speaker 1: an invincible message of confrontation. And I had to say it.
47:43
Speaker 1: Nathan's reply is what? Yes. Yes to what? I have sinned. Yes,
47:51
Speaker 1: you have. But the Lord has forgiven you. Stop right there.
47:55
Speaker 1: Stop right there. The story that has been a picture
47:58
Speaker 1: and became a mirror is now a window. It's a
48:01
Speaker 1: window that shows him hope beyond the mirror. How great
48:06
Speaker 1: is that? This mirror opens up and he is hearing
48:09
Speaker 1: of the forgiveness of God, the greatness of God. You
48:12
Speaker 1: will not die. You will not die. The way you
48:17
Speaker 1: wanted to take the life of the rich is not
48:19
Speaker 1: going to happen. God's grace is in abundance, but you
48:22
Speaker 1: need to know there will be consequences. You see it?
48:27
Speaker 1: The Lord has forgiven you. You won't die for this
48:29
Speaker 1: sin nevertheless because you have shown utter contempt for the Lord.
48:33
Speaker 1: By doing this, your child will And Nathan returned to
48:42
Speaker 1: his home. The reason I add the half of that
48:47
Speaker 1: next sentence, because I believe at that point Nathan realized
48:52
Speaker 1: I have done the deed. I've delivered the message. It's
48:57
Speaker 1: what happens to me every time I get in my
48:59
Speaker 1: car to drive home following a sermon. I drive home.
49:04
Speaker 1: Or I drive to a place for lunch. And I
49:07
Speaker 1: leave the results with God. I know already that some
49:12
Speaker 1: of you have homework to take care of. The homework
49:16
Speaker 1: is between you and your God. You will not answer
49:19
Speaker 1: to me. I'm simply a messenger today to confront what's
49:24
Speaker 1: going on and to say to you it's time for
49:26
Speaker 1: it to stop going on in secret. It's time for
49:30
Speaker 1: you to deal with it in your life. And I
49:33
Speaker 1: stand before you today to say if you do not
49:36
Speaker 1: do that, very serious consequences will occur. If I knew
49:42
Speaker 1: what they were, I would pull you aside and tell
49:44
Speaker 1: you personally, I don't. I just know that there is
49:48
Speaker 1: still divine discipline. And by the way, all of the
49:52
Speaker 1: Lord's accounts are not settled at the end of the
49:54
Speaker 1: week or the end of the month or the end
49:59
Speaker 1: of the year. Listen to this statement from Ecclesiastes 8,
50:04
Speaker 1: verse 11. Because sentence against an evil work is not
50:08
Speaker 1: executed speedily, Therefore the heart of the sons of men
50:12
Speaker 1: is fully set in them to do evil. You know
50:17
Speaker 1: what that's saying? Please ask these 811. When a crime
50:22
Speaker 1: is not punished quickly, people feel it's safe to do wrong.
50:28
Speaker 1: That's a biblical statement. When you get away with sin,
50:30
Speaker 1: you think you're safe. Because God has not yet brought
50:36
Speaker 1: the consequences. I warn you. We take God seriously. Now,
50:43
Speaker 1: in light of that, there are some things I want
50:45
Speaker 1: to say in conclusion. Things I want you to remember,
50:48
Speaker 1: and I will even have the audacity to ask you
50:50
Speaker 1: to write them down. I don't know what the future holds,
50:53
Speaker 1: and I don't know how you may be called upon
50:55
Speaker 1: to do something like this. It isn't just the responsibility
50:59
Speaker 1: of the minister of the gospel. It is the responsibility
51:02
Speaker 1: of fellow believers to do the hard thing. And I
51:07
Speaker 1: will say in your life, you will do it rarely.
51:10
Speaker 1: And hopefully you will always do it reluctantly, but you
51:12
Speaker 1: will do it because it is a task that you
51:15
Speaker 1: will dread. By the way, forgiven sins sometimes bear consequences.
51:22
Speaker 1: Even though David is fully forgiven, the child died. It's
51:26
Speaker 1: another subject. Get into it some other time. Here are
51:30
Speaker 1: the six things I want you to remember. Nice and simple.
51:35
Speaker 1: Number one, let God lead. Let God lead. Remember, the
51:45
Speaker 1: Lord sent Nathan. Nathan didn't think, it's time for me
51:50
Speaker 1: to go. I'm sick and tired of that being kept
51:52
Speaker 1: a secret. No, no. The Lord led Nathan. Let God lead.
51:59
Speaker 1: Here's the second. Choose your timing carefully. Isn't it interesting
52:07
Speaker 1: that the day after the adultery or the two days
52:12
Speaker 1: after the murder, Nathan isn't at the front door knocking
52:18
Speaker 1: for David. He waits. He waits. He lets time run
52:25
Speaker 1: its course, quite probably to see if David on his
52:29
Speaker 1: own would confess or finally come clean, fully. before Nathan
52:35
Speaker 1: and others to whom he would answer. Choose your timing
52:39
Speaker 1: very carefully. Pray. Pray for right timing before you get involved.
52:48
Speaker 1: Here's the third, speak the truth. Speak the truth. Now,
52:54
Speaker 1: what does that imply? You know the truth. Confrontation should
52:59
Speaker 1: not come as a result of hearsay. Someone else said
53:03
Speaker 1: to someone else who later said to you, and you
53:07
Speaker 1: get it third hand. It's a very spurious source of information.
53:13
Speaker 1: If you're going to speak the truth, it means you
53:18
Speaker 1: are not exaggerating. You are not assuming you have done
53:22
Speaker 1: your homework. You know it is a fact. And in
53:29
Speaker 1: some cases, as has been in my life, I have
53:32
Speaker 1: had evidence, evidence that I could present to the individual
53:37
Speaker 1: that shows the individual proof of what has been going on.
53:43
Speaker 1: Let God lead. Choose the right time carefully. Speak only
53:49
Speaker 1: the truth. Here's the fourth. Use wise words. Use wise words.
54:00
Speaker 1: Think about your approach. In fact, let me give you
54:05
Speaker 1: a verse for this. Proverbs 25, 11 and 12. Words
54:12
Speaker 1: fitly spoken are like apples of gold and pictures of silver.
54:16
Speaker 1: As an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold,
54:21
Speaker 1: so is a wise reprover on an obedient ear. Let
54:26
Speaker 1: your words be as meaningful as apples of gold and
54:32
Speaker 1: pictures of silver. This story that Nathan told, simple as
54:37
Speaker 1: it was, was a study in eloquence. It was incredible
54:42
Speaker 1: how carefully he had thought it through. Nothing superfluous, nothing exaggerated,
54:49
Speaker 1: but a story that he used very wisely delivered. Here's
54:55
Speaker 1: the fifth. Always offer hope. Remember, the goal is not condemnation,
55:01
Speaker 1: it is restoration. You are forgiven, David. You are forgiven.
55:08
Speaker 1: You will not die. There is a future. By the way,
55:13
Speaker 1: in the midst of this, it may sound strange for
55:16
Speaker 1: me to add it here, don't be afraid to weep.
55:22
Speaker 1: If you feel tears coming, let them flow. Sometime in
55:27
Speaker 1: the confrontation, the person being confronted, if the heart is
55:31
Speaker 1: really tender, will begin to cry. We don't read of
55:36
Speaker 1: that here, but one wonders if there might not have
55:38
Speaker 1: been tears on the part of Nathan or even David.
55:44
Speaker 1: Always offer hope. Here's the sixth. Notice in verse 15,
55:51
Speaker 1: after Nathan returned to his home, then the Lord took over.
55:58
Speaker 1: Number six, leave the results with God. You don't need
56:06
Speaker 1: to be the person's conscience for the next several months.
56:11
Speaker 1: You don't need to dog that person's steps. You may
56:16
Speaker 1: call and assure that person of your prayer and your
56:19
Speaker 1: interest and your ongoing concern and your love, but your
56:23
Speaker 1: hope there is for full restoration, that there has been
56:26
Speaker 1: a complete reversal, confession. But you leave the results with God.
56:34
Speaker 1: He is well able to take care of his own.
56:41
Speaker 1: I've spoken to you all the way through this message. Now,
56:46
Speaker 1: I want to speak to ministers. I want to speak
56:51
Speaker 1: to those of us who are engaged in vocational Christian service,
56:55
Speaker 1: whatever may be your calling. And I won't use my words.
57:01
Speaker 1: I will use the words again of Alexander White. Listen
57:05
Speaker 1: to this from his book on Bible characters in his
57:09
Speaker 1: words regarding Nathan. Preaching is magnificent work if only we
57:16
Speaker 1: could get preachers like Nathan. If our preachers had only
57:23
Speaker 1: something of Nathan's courage, skill, and serpent-like wisdom, We ministers
57:31
Speaker 1: must study Nathan's method, especially when we are sent to
57:35
Speaker 1: preach awakening sermons. Too much skill cannot be expended in
57:41
Speaker 1: laying down our approaches to the consciences of our people.
57:45
Speaker 1: Nathan's sword was within an inch of David's conscience before
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Speaker 1: David even knew Nathan had a sword. Love that line.
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Speaker 1: One sudden thrust and the king was at Nathan's feet.
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Speaker 1: What a rebuke of our slovenly, unskillful, blundering work. When
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Speaker 1: we go back to Nathan and David, we forget and
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Speaker 1: forgive everything that had been evil in David. The only
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Speaker 1: thing wanting to make that day in David's life perfect
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Speaker 1: was that Nathan should have had to come to David.
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Speaker 1: You follow this? Listen, fellow ministers. Now, what will make
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Speaker 1: this the most perfect day in all your life will
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Speaker 1: be this. If you will save the Lord and his prophet,
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Speaker 1: all that trouble, so to speak, and be both Lord
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Speaker 1: and his prophet to yourself, read Nathan's parable to yourself
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Speaker 1: until you say, I am the man. I am the man.
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Speaker 1: Please bow with me. I want you to sit quietly
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Speaker 1: before the Lord. Just a few moments. My heart goes
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Speaker 1: out especially to you who are living your life pretty
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Speaker 1: much alone. You may live alone. You may have no
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Speaker 1: one who asks you the hard questions. No one to
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Speaker 1: whom you are regularly accountable. There may be secret sins
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Speaker 1: that are taking place. I don't know. Other things I
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Speaker 1: could name, but you know them. If it's time to
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Speaker 1: deal with that, may I say for the sake of
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Speaker 1: your entire family, and we're all connected to families, may
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Speaker 1: I say for the sake of those who believe in
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Speaker 1: you and love you, Either you deal with it or
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Speaker 1: you be the one willing to help another deal with it.
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Speaker 1: Should you know something that needs to be addressed, do
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Speaker 1: it privately, do it without fanfare, without any public knowledge.
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Speaker 1: You have the courage to go alone and confront it. Go.
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Speaker 3: Go.
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Speaker 1: Maybe you say as you're sitting there, you know, Chuck,
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Speaker 1: I got to tell you, I don't even know this
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Speaker 1: Lord you're talking about. And I commend you for acknowledging that.
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Speaker 1: The first step toward knowing him is acknowledging that you don't.
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Speaker 1: And I want to tell you, he's not mad at you.
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Speaker 1: He's not out to get you.
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Speaker 2: Remember, he's the.
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Speaker 1: One who loves you with an infinite amount of love.
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Speaker 1: And in love he sent his son for you. His
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Speaker 1: son confronted what you would have had to confront. And
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Speaker 1: that's your sinfulness. And he paid the complete penalty for
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Speaker 1: your sins. When he died on that cross. And announced
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Speaker 1: it is finished. Mission accomplished. Sins paid for. You can
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Speaker 1: trust him right now. right this moment. Trust him. Our Father,
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Speaker 1: today we have declared your word as best I can.
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Speaker 1: And in my own simple way, I pray that it
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Speaker 1: will have connected to real life, real people dealing with
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Speaker 1: real issues. We want you to know that we do
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Speaker 1: take you seriously. And we believe what we read in
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Speaker 1: this book. And when we see this story unfold, we
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Speaker 1: know that you care about those who are leading. And
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Speaker 1: you care about those who have the courage to speak
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Speaker 1: to them. I pray for both. I pray for the
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Speaker 1: kings that are here, the Davids. and the prophets that
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Speaker 1: are here, the Nathans. Give us courage, give us wisdom,
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Speaker 1: give us great grace, give us good timing, and remind
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Speaker 1: us that your justice does not always occur at the
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Speaker 1: end of the week or the end of the month,
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Speaker 1: but sometime after a long period of your patient waiting.
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Speaker 1: So in this grace period, our Father, I pray that
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Speaker 1: you'd bring us face to face whatever needs attention and
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Speaker 1: may we deal with it before you thoroughly and completely
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Speaker 1: for your greater glory. I pray that you will in
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Speaker 1: some magnificent way guide us in the way we should
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Speaker 1: go with your eye on us. For those without your son,
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Speaker 1: I pray that they will not know rest even sleep,
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Speaker 1: until they have turned their lives over to you through Christ,
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Speaker 1: whom we worship, in whose name we pray.
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Speaker 3: And all God's people said, The preceding message, What If
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Speaker 3: You Should Confront Someone in Sin, was copyrighted in 2013
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Speaker 3: and 2015, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2015
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Speaker 3: by Charles R.
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Speaker 2: Swindoll, Inc.
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Speaker 3: All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for
1:04:13
Speaker 3: commercial use is strictly prohibited.