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Episode 18: Forgiveness · Coaching For Life

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: The Coaching for Life Podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Coaching for Life Podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis, a conversation that we pray encourages you to pursue the Christ-centered life.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it's always an encouragement to spend some time with my good friend and co-host Monty Williams.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: And today, Monty, we're talking about the importance of forgiveness, and we're going to be looking at two passages in the New Testament.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: The first one being the very familiar story of the prodigal son from Luke 15.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: When I think about that word prodigal, I always thought it meant wayward or lost, but the definition of prodigal is recklessly extravagant.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And the focus of this story is not on the rebellious son, but on the recklessly extravagant love of the Father, who represents our Heavenly Father.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: And in this story, we see not one but two lost sons.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: And we'll look at the older brother in a little while.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: But if we look at the context of Luke 15, Jesus was speaking to two primary groups of people.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: One was the sinners and the tax collectors.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: And the other group was the religious leaders, the Pharisees and the teachers of the law.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: And in part one or act one of this parable, we first meet the younger son, who is the rebellious one, and he represented the sinners and the tax collectors, those that were once far from God.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: And the parable begins with the younger son disgracing his father by demanding his inheritance now, basically saying to the father, I wish you were dead.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Give me right now what's supposed to come to me later at your death.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: And the father gives in, he gives the younger son his inheritance.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not long before this younger son squanders all of his money.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: And to make matters worse, there's a famine, food is scarce, and to survive, the younger son has to get a job working with the pigs.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so as this Jewish man is down in the muck and the mire with these animals that were not kosher for him to be around, it's in this very low place that the son thinks of home.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: The younger son thinks of his father that he has disgraced, and most of all, he has dishonored God.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's there in the pig sty that the young man repents and he is humbled and he remembers the hired workers who serve his father.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: And the son thinks, these servants have it better off than I do right now.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe my father would find it in him to take me back as one of the hired help.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so he begins rehearsing this speech in his mind.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: He he begins practicing, okay, here's what I'm gonna say to my father.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: Dad, I have sinned against you, and I have sinned against God.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's then that the younger son begins the journey home.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: And part two or act two is the homecoming.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: And we can imagine this younger son, he's on the walk home, he's still rehearsing his speech that he was planning to give to his father.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: And the perspective of the story then shifts to the father.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Every morning, as the father looked out on the on the horizon, he was hoping and praying that today would be the day that his son would finally come home.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: And sure enough, on this day, there in the distance, he sees his son.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: And the father doesn't wait for the son to come to him and and grovel on his knees.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: The father doesn't stand there with his arms crossed, with that look that says, What do you have to say for yourself?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, he does something very radical in that patriarchal society.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: The father runs.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: The father doesn't care about social norms.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: He cinches up his robes and runs after his lost son.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: And point number one I want to make about God's forgiveness is his loving grace pursues us.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: When the father reaches the son, we can imagine this younger son trying to start his speech, but he doesn't get the words out.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: The father cuts him off.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: He embraces his son, he puts his ring on his son's hand, he tells his servants put the best robe on him, and they have a celebration.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: They kill the fattened calf because the son who is dead is now alive.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: And we when you think about God's pursuing love, it covers our shame, our rags of sin with the robes of his love and his grace and forgiveness.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: The one who was lost is now found.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: And the party starts, and that could have been the end of the story, but this is the story of two lost sons.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's always weird when I I have to bring that up.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I am older now, so it's like it is what it is.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I always thought of it in terms of that title prodigal only being one.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: But as you read it and as you walk this thing out with the Holy Spirit, you realize it's it's you're you're one of them.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes both of them.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And as you and I were talking before we started, um I I've I've seen myself and see myself in both and shamefully presently.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I say it in terms of the older brother because I think there are times in our walk where we do church stuff.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: We go on Sunday, we show up on time, we check the boxes in a in a transactional way.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um we are part of um coffee shop Bible studies with other brothers and sisters.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we have we we we can I'm speaking from my own experience and shame.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know that that builds up a level of pride in me.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I tend to look at people who aren't like that as if they're not enough.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I forget that the work of the Holy Spirit is what is what has changed my life, and it's the Holy Spirit that gets the increase as others have planted and watered in my life.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I when I look at the older brother going to the father and he's upset.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I found myself, nobody knew it, but internally I've been upset that God would do whatever he's doing in this person's life who I think isn't living the way I'm living.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And in his goodness and kindness, like God has shown me, like that's not it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you you're you're you're Jonah right now.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jonah was so upset that God would take time to, you know, deal with these Ninevehites all these pagan people, like, well, that's who I was.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we have to be so careful that we don't allow religious activity to um give us a standing with the Lord.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Our standing is based on who he who Jesus is.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: When when the Father sees us, he sees his son.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: He does not see our activity.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Does um the work of the Spirit produce fruit in our lives?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: But we I I think we have to be really careful when we we begin to judge others based on our box checking and and doing things that seem religious and right.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's not how God looks at it.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: He he loves us just like this father loved both boys.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: One was home, one was tripping.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he loved them both the same.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And his expression of love to both of them is what we see in the body.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's some people that the Lord deals with in this particular way.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's some people he deals with in another way.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's his choosing because he's sovereign.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I I'm glad we had a chance to do this because it it's you know, every time we do a pod, I'm just like, whoa, I I just, you know, the Holy Spirit just shows me like, Matt, that's you.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you need to give that to me.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can't fix it, because you've been trying.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: And when I look at this, the prodigal, um you almost see the same, if not worse, attitude in terms like what the what the younger son did was so disrespectful.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he basically was like, Dad, I wish you were dead.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: This this older one, he he didn't say that, but he he he pretty much conveys the same sentiment when he sees his dad's response to this, you know, degenerate brother of his.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he thinks he's the the prized lamb in the whole family.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: He thinks he's the one that should be, you know, esteemed and respected and and awarded.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this father has love for everyone.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's such a picture of our Heavenly Father.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like the Bible is pretty clear about who we are.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jeremiah 17, 9 says, Man's heart is wicked above all things.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: When you line it all up, our hearts are more wicked than anything.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's who we are.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And if not for the grace of God, if not for the Holy Spirit, we'd be in a world of trouble.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And this father, that's his love for both of his boys.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Both boys have wicked hearts.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's just that one's at home and one's out in the world.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I love you both.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just I think it's an encouragement, but also a warning to people like me that can get caught up in doing church stuff and forget that it's the righteousness of God that gives me good standing.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's what Jesus did on the cross that gives me good standing.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's the willingness to go to the cross and die for the world that gives me good standing.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's not my religious activities.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's not because I sing in the choir.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's not because I run a Bible study.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's not because I go on mission trips.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: None of that.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's I think it's a warning to church folk who do church stuff.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Don't elevate yourself.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm just telling you, when when God decides to allow the humility to come, and I've dealt with it, it's no fun.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just I'm grateful that we can um dive into these particular stories, real life stories that Jesus left us to allow us to evaluate where we are, and then ask God to help us with them.
• 11:55
  unknown: Trevor Burrus, Jr.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's interesting.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: Most sermons are messages that you hear about this, or are you you you may have heard about uh this growing up, this it focuses on the younger brother, the the rebellious one.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: And it's almost like the older brother is kind of a side character right at the very end.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: But the older brother is just as lost.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: And he represented the the Pharisees, the religious insiders, just as you said, who thought they were in good standing because of following all the rules.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: And they were all about religion and not a true relationship with the Lord.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: And just as the younger son was disgraceful and and and and disgracing his father, the the older son is doing the same thing by not coming into this celebration, not coming into the party.
• 12:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: And he doesn't even acknowledge his brother.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: He just says, this son of yours, he doesn't even call him out by name, this son who ate through all of your wealth, which was supposed to come to me as as the oldest son, with wild living, yet you killed the fattened calf for him, and you didn't even give me and my friends a goat.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he was he was so caught up in what he didn't have and what he felt should have become to him.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: And he really wanted the wrath of the father to come down on his younger brother.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: But point number two is God's extravagant, prodigal love and grace can pardon every sin.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: The father extends his grace and forgiveness to the younger son even before that son had a chance to clean up his life.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: But as you just said, the father also is gentle with the older brother, saying, My son, you've always been with me.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Everything I have is yours.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: But we had to celebrate.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: This brother of yours who was dead is now alive, he was lost, and has been found.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: And perhaps those listening, you know, they might, you know, you might be able to identify with one of these two brothers.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: The younger brother who strayed from the father and was lost in his sin and disobedience, or maybe you identify with the older brother and you're trapped in some bitterness and resentment or jealousy.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it's interesting, the story ends, and we don't know what the older brother decided to do.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Did he come into the party or not?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: And it's as if Jesus was saying to the Pharisees, You all are still lost.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, even though I desired for you to come and repent.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: And that's point number three.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: God pleads with those who are lost to respond to Christ in faith.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: So wherever the listener is today, maybe they're wayward, maybe they're like that younger brother, or perhaps you're like the older brother and you're struggling with a little self-righteousness.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: We all need to repent.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: We all need to receive God's complete grace and forgiveness.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I I love the insights that that you have been sharing with me as we look at Philemon.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: This is a a a bit of a turn or change, if you will, in terms of uh a different take on forgiveness and the grace of God.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I as I read this and studied, um actually shared it with Micah and Lisa last night before we went to bed.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: We see this great exchange in terms of Paul being a type of Christ for this new convert, if you will.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then the context is Paul's a prisoner in Rome.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: His his friend Philemon was in Colossae, and Onesimus was a runaway slave of Philemon.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um the details aren't clear as to why Onesimus ran away, but we know he fled to Rome to try to blend in to that populace and find some safety there.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: But in God's sovereignty, um he led Onesimus to Paul.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And not only did he lead him to Paul in prison, he got saved.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a it's a beautiful lesson in terms of where all Onesimus is, um, how God leads us to, you know, for me, to Oxen Hill Boys Club in in P.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: G.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: County, Maryland, um, at the age of 10, and I run into Coach Westbrook, and he invites me to church, and we go to church and I get saved.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, you know, only God can strategically use certain situations or any situation to get us to, you know, be where we need to be.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: But as we dive in, we see um Paul, his approach before he he asks his friend Philemon, who he was a spiritual father of Philemon.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: He he asks him before he asked him, he built him up.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he he says, I thank God, my God always making mention of you in my prayers because I hear of your love and of your faith with which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's a really cool way to start when we uh want to call someone up or ask someone to do something that's gonna be pretty tough for them.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we see this in in Philemon, uh, it's only one book, verses four through nine.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And uh another reference for that is uh Proverbs 15:1, where the Bible says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Paul, because of his standing, he could have gone to Philemon and said, Hey, this is what you're gonna do.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: But it's such a a picture of the Father.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: God is a gentleman, he's not going to force us into salvation.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's not going to force us to do things.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: He's laid it out for us, and thank God he loves us that way, and we we have free will to make a choice.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so Paul, you know, he chooses this way to plea for his friend.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And in that plea, we see it in verses 10 through 11.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: He says, I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I fathered in my imprisonment.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if you just read over that, you're just like, wow, that's, you know, Paul was in prison, yeah, still doing the work that God called him to do.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he runs into this guy named Onesimus.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Onesimus gives his life to the Lord.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: And during that time he learns about Onesimus his life.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so Paul, you know, he stands up for his new brother, um, who's become his friend while in prison.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Paul doesn't demand anything from Philemon, although he could have, and we see the respect that he showed him.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: But the climax of this letter is in verses 18 and 19, where Paul says, But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: I, Paul, have written this with my own hands.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: I will repay it.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Not to mention that you owe me even your own self as well.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where this great exchange takes place.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: He's asking Philemon to forgive whatever Onesimus has done, he's asking him to forgive it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: But not only is he asking him to forgive it, he's asking him, whatever he owes you, charge it to my account.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And as I was studying for this, um I'd like the Wearsby commentary.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: It allows for me to see things.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: I've done the coursing commentary.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I have a MacArthur study Bible at home, and probably more commentaries and study Bibles at home than I need.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: But they they help me see things from a perspective that I probably can't do on my own.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And the Holy Spirit just does what the Holy Spirit does to illuminate what I need for the particular pot or talking to my family or just my own personal growth.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: But in the Wearsby, it says, it takes more than love to solve the problem.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Love must pay a price.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: God does not save us by his love, for though he loves the world, the whole world is not saved.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: God saves sinners by his grace, Ephesians 2.89.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: And grace is love that pays a price.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: God in his holiness cannot ignore the debt that we owe him, for God must be faithful to his own law, so he paid the debt for us.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Theologians call this the doctrine of imputation.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: To impute means to put it on account.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: When Jesus Christ died on the cross, my sins were put on his account, and he was treated the way I should have been treated.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: When I trusted him as my Savior, his righteousness was put on my account, and now God accepts me in Jesus Christ.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we see this in Paul.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Paul is telling his his friend, hey, we have a new brother in our family.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I know he's wronged you, but whatever he did to you, charge it to me.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, what a friend.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's that's love.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: And in this, Paul becomes a type of Christ, a a redeemer.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5 21, he made him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's what Paul is doing.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, accept your brother back.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's in our family now.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know what he did before, but I want you to forgive him and not only forgive him, accept him as a family member.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's such, you know, it's I'm I know I'm not doing it justice in terms of all of that we can unpack here, but it just gives us this different layer, not only of a practical way that we can forgive others as we live in this on this side of heaven, yeah, but it gives you a picture of the grace and mercy and kindness and how God doesn't need to do anything.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: He loves us so much that he gave his only son.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the the price that Jesus paid, like he didn't have to do that, but he willingly went to the cross so that we could take his place and he could take our place.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Paul in chains is saying, whatever he did, charge it to my account.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so easy to just say the words, I forgive you.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: But when you look at it from this perspective, it's like, man, that's pretty heavy.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're not only forgiving, but we're saying, Lord, like this hurts, but I know what you've called me to do.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm gonna put the pain and hurt at your feet.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: You deal with it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: I I I can't live in this.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's wearing me out.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's gonna wear me out.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just gonna let you handle it.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna weaponize my pain.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go forward the way you've called me to go forward, and you do what only you can.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, what a picture of God's love and and the way he uses people like Paul in our lives to show his love for us.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty cool.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's amazing.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh how the Lord brought uh Philemon to your heart on it.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it just is such an amazing picture of forgiveness and and restoration.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: And Philemon is really a hidden gem in scripture.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, if you flip too fast, you're you're gonna miss it.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you said, it's just one chapter, it's it's 25 verses, and and it's right there between Titus and and Hebrews.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it's interesting as we look at Onesimus' name, it means useful.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: And and Paul says to Philemon, Onesimus is to be forgiven and taken back.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: He's more than just a runaway slave, but he has been useful.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: He uses those words.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: This useful man has been useful to both of us.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: And you're so right about the the divine exchange, you know, uh, and this this beautiful picture of the gospel in Philemon, how our sins have been charged to Christ's account, and he clothes us in his righteousness.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I I love how Paul is making the point to Philemon that this man, Onesimus, his identity is no longer wrapped up into a a slave.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: His his identity is now a beloved brother.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, he's he's a child of God.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: And we see forgiveness you know throughout Paul's writings.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: He also writes in Ephesians 4 32 be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's to be the impetus behind our forgiveness of others, is when we consider how much Christ has forgiven us.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I know you have a great example from your past in reference to this kind of forgiveness.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, my my good friends, the Rosses, Randy and Sandy Ross, they're the same family uh couple that led Ingrid and I when we uh first came to San Antonio in 1996.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: We used to go to Young Married's with other couples, and they led that class.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And as I I grew in my relationship with them, uh Randy was my accountant.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sandy was like a a surrogate mom to me and other other men, and their example was one that really changed the lives of so many couples.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: But one particular um conversation I had with her, um I was struggling with an issue that had happened in my childhood, and I just had not let it go.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was tough for me to to forgive what this person had done to me, and I had set up my own economy.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: I had set up my own uh set of reparations and and what I thought should have happened.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she led by the spirit in a conversation that we had one time, she said, Monty, you have to suffer the wrong.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like, What does that mean?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't know what that means.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And when she explained it to me in country boy terms, she said, Monty, you have to forgive and let it go.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is wearing you out.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is taking away from your quality of life.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is it's what God calls us to do.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: Now, not many people could have said that to me because I just I didn't have a level of trust for anybody that I didn't have equity with.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: This was a safe place with um another believer and his wife.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: And as a mom, as an older believer, she knew that this was taking me off course and it was affecting other areas of my life.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that was the first time that someone had shared forgiveness with me in that way.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's easy to just read the scriptures and read where Jesus says, you know, 77 times.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: How many times?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you hear that, but you don't really get it in terms of how do I apply that.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it's not a suggestion.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's it's not something that God tells us to do because it's just a part of his list of rules.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's what he did for us.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: And in a practical sense, if we don't, we're the ones that get hurt.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times the people that we have this issue with, they don't even know it.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's like we're holding on to something that nobody even cares about, and we're the ones that get hurt.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And there's this internal battle that I think we at times deal with, and we have to do what Sandy told me.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: We have to suffer the wrong, forgive, and let it go, and let God do what only He can.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we and we see, um from God's perspective, in Micah 7, verses 18 through 19, it says, Where is another God like you who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Once again, you will have compassion on us.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is what God does for us.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is why we hear of these unreal stories of people in prison coming to know the Lord, because they understand that God takes our sins and he throws them into the ocean.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: As far as the east is from the west, he didn't say north to south, he said east to west.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's no definite point from east to west.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And when you look at it from his perspective, it it makes it, I wouldn't say it makes it easier, but you get an understanding of what he did for us.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so when she explained it to me that way, I can't say I got it, but over time, it made it so much easier for me to forgive and move on when stuff came up.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just so thankful that I've had people like Randy and Sandy and yourself and Pastor Bill and many others that God has put in my life to explain these concepts in a way that not only help me spiritually, but they've helped me practically.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: And as is always the case with these podcasts, we are are preaching to ourselves, you know, and and we uh need growth in this area, and and there are things that we still need to completely forgive.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there might be some things that we're still holding on to.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and to review, we saw the beautiful story uh in Philemon uh of Paul pleading with Philemon, forgive this runaway slave, Onesimus.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: And and he's no longer a slave, he's now a brother in Christ and charge any wrongs to my account, as Christ does with us.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then we saw the younger brother who wasted the father's prodigal, extravagant riches of his love, but the son came back and received forgiveness from the father.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: The older brother had that extravagant wealth as well.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: Everything the father had was the older brothers, and and yet he didn't realize the extent of that prodigal love and grace.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: He thought he could earn it when God intended his his love and grace to be a free gift for us.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: A love that Jesus speaks of in John 3.16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so if you're listening today and you need to seek God's forgiveness of your sins, we encourage you to do so today.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, make things right with God in your heart, and then write with others as well, and seek their forgiveness.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: If you're holding on to resentment, we don't want you to be enslaved to that bitterness.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: So that can really eat you up from the inside.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Give that to the Lord.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: Forgive much as you have been forgiven much.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so I just want to spend a little time just praying for the listener as they take these steps at this time.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, we do pray for any listening who need to repent and they need to turn from their sins and receive your loving forgiveness.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, we thank you for that promise in 1 John 1 9 that says, If we confess our sins to you, that you are faithful and just, to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: So, Lord, we thank you for running after us, throwing your loving arms around us and just showering us with your grace, that extravagant, prodigal love and grace.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: And Lord, I pray for any listening who might be holding on to bitterness or resentment, would they be released from that which is holding them captive?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: And would you lift that weight as they forgive and they seek forgiveness?
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, would you restore broken relationships and families and marriages today, and help us to see others as you see them with unconditional love and grace?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: And we ask this in the name of Jesus.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you for spending time with us today.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, whatever it is that you're facing, know that God loves you, He's for you, He's got a good plan for you, and we'll see you next time.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us at Coaching for Life.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: And please subscribe wherever you receive this content.