Latest / The United States of Us / "I’m a Badass" | The Seven Deaths You Live Through | Ep. 16

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"I’m a Badass" | The Seven Deaths You Live Through | Ep. 16 · The United States of Us

• 0:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I'm a badass. I mean, there's just no two ways about it.
• 0:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I came here that way, and…
• 0:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… I've messed up a lot of things in my life.
• 0:13
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And none of it was because I wanted to mess it up.
• 0:18
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's because I wanted to learn, and I wanted to be free, and I wanted to be who I was… who I came here to be.
• 0:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to episode 16 of the United States of Us! Can you even believe it's episode 16?
• 0:43
  Lori Walpole: I know! Wow, we're here, Tammy! 16, and it's September!
• 0:48
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's crazy! It's crazy!
• 0:51
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, viewers, you have Lori and I today for your podcast pleasure, and, we're just gonna get weird with it. So, let's just jump into it. Tell us what you got, Lori.
• 1:05
  Lori Walpole: Alright, well, you know, I love my algorithm today that shows up in social media. I have some of the most
• 1:13
  Lori Walpole: you know, just inspirational and just meaningful messages. They're meaningful to me, they may not be meaningful to everyone, but I came across this one that I thought I'd share with you, Tammy, and our viewers. I thought I'd just read through this, and let me know what kind of pops for you, and we'll go from there.
• 1:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Sounds great.
• 1:33
  Lori Walpole: Okay, so the page is called Healer, and the person who posted this is John Roma.
• 1:41
  Lori Walpole: And it's titled, The 7 Deaths You Experience Without Physically Dying.
• 1:48
  Lori Walpole: Some of the most profound deaths happen while your heart is still beating. No funeral, no grave, no one sends flowers. Yet something inside you is gone forever.
• 2:00
  Lori Walpole: And sometimes that is exactly how transformation begins. Here are 7 deaths almost every awakening soul will eventually face.
• 2:09
  Lori Walpole: Number one, the death of an identity.
• 2:13
  Lori Walpole: One day, the person you spent years becoming no longer feels like you. The roles, the labels, the image, the personality you built to survive.
• 2:24
  Lori Walpole: You realize, I don't know who I am anymore. It feels like losing yourself.
• 2:29
  Lori Walpole: But perhaps you are only losing who you had to become.
• 2:34
  Lori Walpole: Number two, the death of a relationship.
• 2:37
  Lori Walpole: Not every person is meant to walk with you into every version of your life.
• 2:42
  Lori Walpole: Some relationships end through separation.
• 2:46
  Lori Walpole: Others end while two people are still standing beside each other. The hardest lesson, love doesn't always mean continuation. Sometimes love completes its purpose by changing you.
• 3:01
  Lori Walpole: Number 3. The death of a dream. You can spend years chasing something, only to realize you no longer want it. The career, the house, the recognition, the perfect relationship, the life you thought would finally make you whole.
• 3:20
  Lori Walpole: Losing a dream hurts because you're not only grieving what happened, you're grieving what never happened.
• 3:27
  Lori Walpole: Number 4, the death of a belief system. This one can shake your entire reality.
• 3:34
  Lori Walpole: Suddenly, the things you were certain about become questions. Religion, spirituality, success, love, good and evil.
• 3:45
  Lori Walpole: Even your understanding of reality itself.
• 3:49
  Lori Walpole: The mind wants certainty. Awakening often destroys it, because something… sometimes truth can only enter after certainty leaves.
• 4:00
  Lori Walpole: Number 5.
• 4:01
  Lori Walpole: The death of the future you imagined.
• 4:05
  Lori Walpole: We don't just live in the present.
• 4:07
  Lori Walpole: We secretly live inside imagined futures.
• 4:11
  Lori Walpole: We picture who will be beside us, where we'll live, what we'll become, how everything will unfold.
• 4:19
  Lori Walpole: Then life takes a completely different road, and you discover something profound.
• 4:26
  Lori Walpole: Sometimes the future must die, so life can give you a future you never knew to imagine.
• 4:34
  Lori Walpole: Number 6, the death of your old self.
• 4:38
  Lori Walpole: Eventually, you outgrow the version of yourself that carried you this far.
• 4:44
  Lori Walpole: The reactions don't fit anymore. The battles aren't interesting.
• 4:48
  Lori Walpole: The validation doesn't taste the same.
• 4:52
  Lori Walpole: You stop chasing what once controlled you, and strangely, you may even miss the person you no longer want to be, because growth contains grief, too.
• 5:03
  Lori Walpole: Number 7, The death of needing to know who you're becoming.
• 5:09
  Lori Walpole: This may be the deepest death of all.
• 5:12
  Lori Walpole: At first, transformation becomes another identity. I am healing. I am awakening. I am becoming my highest self.
• 5:22
  Lori Walpole: But eventually, even that must fall away.
• 5:25
  Lori Walpole: You stop demanding an answer to, who am I becoming?
• 5:30
  Lori Walpole: And begin trusting, I don't need to know yet.
• 5:34
  Lori Walpole: This is the void.
• 5:36
  Lori Walpole: This is the space between identities. The old life is gone.
• 5:41
  Lori Walpole: The new one hasn't fully arrived.
• 5:44
  Lori Walpole: Most people panic here and run backward.
• 5:47
  Lori Walpole: But if you can remain, something extraordinary happens.
• 5:52
  Lori Walpole: You discover that rebirth isn't always about creating a better identity.
• 5:58
  Lori Walpole: Sometimes, it is about becoming free enough that you no longer need one.
• 6:04
  Lori Walpole: A human life… lifetime… Contains many endings.
• 6:10
  Lori Walpole: Many funerals nobody sees. Many versions of you that quietly disappear.
• 6:16
  Lori Walpole: And perhaps that is why transformation can feel so painful. You are grieving and being born at the same time.
• 6:26
  Lori Walpole: Some chapters don't end because you failed. They end because the person who needed them no longer exists.
• 6:35
  Lori Walpole: If you're somewhere between who you were and who you're becoming, don't rush the void.
• 6:41
  Lori Walpole: Sometimes new… something new is learning how to breathe through you.
• 6:49
  Lori Walpole: John Roma.
• 6:50
  Lori Walpole: I am, you are, we are, one heart, infinite consciousness, is how he signed that.
• 6:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Wow.
• 6:59
  Lori Walpole: Yeah, I thought it was really a beautiful message, yeah.
• 7:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's so beautiful, and as I was listening to you read, it occurred to me that I have experienced almost all of that in… just in today.
• 7:16
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 7:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Like, I… Can so identify with…
• 7:24
  Tammy Green Mitchell: the in-between, that's what I've called it, the in-between, where you know that your old self is dying off.
• 7:33
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And you don't really know what the new self is yet, or where you're headed, or who you're supposed to be. And I've heard another friend call it,
• 7:43
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Caterpillar goo, when you're caterpillar goo.
• 7:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And it's… that's so resonant for me. I feel like even the whole last year after we moved here has been…
• 7:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: in that fa… like, I've been in that phase.
• 8:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, and it's… you're not wrong, he's not wrong, in that it's frightening sometimes, because,
• 8:09
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, you know me very well, but our viewers may not, and I have been told that I have some control issues, or that I have in the past.
• 8:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And so, I… being in control of something makes me feel safe and secure, and I'm learning how to not need to be in control in order to feel that way, but…
• 8:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: the not knowing…
• 8:37
  Tammy Green Mitchell: what it's going to look like based on everything that I've built in the past can be very disorienting sometimes.
• 8:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: How about you? Have you had experiences with that?
• 8:50
  Lori Walpole: Well, it's interesting, Tammy, because, you know, you talked about this past year, and I was, having a conversation yesterday with a friend, and…
• 9:00
  Lori Walpole: if you would have asked me a year ago, and yesterday was my husband's Welcome to Earth Day, so we had that to celebrate, so here we are, you know, the first day of September, having this beautiful conversation with this wonderful friend who…
• 9:15
  Lori Walpole: I'm just so happy she's come into my life, and if you would have asked me a year ago.
• 9:24
  Lori Walpole: that, you know, where do you see yourself in a year? I'd have probably said, oh, I'm still just on my back porch, getting sunshine, and, you know,
• 9:35
  Lori Walpole: seeing my family a little bit, and just doing… doing those things, and continuing just to heal. That's probably what I would have said, but, you know, sometime in September, it hit me that I was ready to move forward.
• 9:50
  Lori Walpole: Little did I know, How that was gonna look for me.
• 9:54
  Lori Walpole: And if you would have asked me a year ago, you're gonna be doing a podcast with one of your dearest friend… your… one of your oldest and dearest friends. You will have, you know, all these episodes already, you know, done. You're gonna be… you will have completed your Level 2 QHH,
• 10:13
  Lori Walpole: practitioner certification, and you will have all these sessions under your belt, and… and, you know, helping guide people through their journeys. And, you know, you're gonna be part of a non-profit, you're gonna be doing all these things, and I'm going, what?
• 10:29
  Lori Walpole: even gonna happen in a year! That's amazing!
• 10:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's gonna be in your kid's life with your grandbaby.
• 10:35
  Lori Walpole: Oh my gosh, and that was already in the works, and had already found its way back to me, and the relationships… the relationship I have with my daughter today. I just… I don't know that I could have imagined it being as beautiful as it is. Those babies were only…
• 10:52
  Lori Walpole: what, 3 months old that time, and now they're… well, they're 16 months old now, today. And… what may change less?
• 11:00
  Lori Walpole: Yeah, 16, I have to count on my fingers. I graduated public high school in Memphis, so anyway, I count on my fingers, and I mean, just the relationships and the connections that I have today.
• 11:13
  Lori Walpole: allowing what's not for me to just leave me, and that's okay, you know, things ebb and flow in our lives, and even you and I, our relationship has done that. And we've always allowed that, and the space for that, because it's appropriate.
• 11:29
  Lori Walpole: But wow, yeah, if you would have asked me a year ago, I didn't know that this was even possible. So today, Tammy.
• 11:37
  Lori Walpole: I kind of went…
• 11:40
  Lori Walpole: something comes in, and I'm like, oh, yes, that sounds amazing and beautiful, let's do that.
• 11:46
  Lori Walpole: And… but instead of really focusing on how I think that should look, and I'm not saying I don't do that a little bit, you know, I'd like to visualize myself on a home, living on the beach. It's a dream, and I would love that.
• 12:01
  Lori Walpole: But, you know, the universe might have something else in store for me, and I'm okay with that today. But I ask, you know, the universe, make it better than I can even imagine. And with that said, the universe will provide that. It does, it must.
• 12:20
  Lori Walpole: So, yeah.
• 12:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I love that, and it's interesting you said that. That's a prayer that I've used in,
• 12:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I saw a memory on social media the other day that reminded me of it, when we were still in Malaga last year, and we hiked to this castle, and we had just prayed the prayer, you know? We were…
• 12:42
  Tammy Green Mitchell: We were 2 months into being here, and trying to navigate a different culture and a different language and, you know, all the things that,
• 12:55
  Tammy Green Mitchell: That you know how to do at our age.
• 12:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you get to relearn in a completely different country, and it can be a little disorienting and overwhelming, and I just remember praying. We got up one morning to go and watch a sunrise over the ocean.
• 13:13
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And we did a little sunrise ceremony together, and we both said the prayer, okay, universe, show us how good it can get. Show us how good it can get.
• 13:24
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And literally the next day is when we hiked to the castle, and we stopped about halfway up. It was a pretty steep mountain, and a violinist was playing there at this lookout point.
• 13:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: we're in Malaga, Spain. The violinist is Spanish, and, you know, and so we're sitting there, we tipped him.
• 13:46
  Tammy Green Mitchell: for the music he was playing, we were just enjoying the music, and he kept looking at us, and he began playing Ed Sheeran's Perfect, the song Perfect, which was at our wedding. Like, it's one of our wedding songs!
• 14:02
  Lori Walpole: How? How does that happen?
• 14:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I mean, we just both started bawling, and…
• 14:09
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, it wasn't lost on me that we had prayed the prayer. Show us how good it can get. And it was just amazing. Just amazing.
• 14:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, thinking back through the deaths that you were talking about, all the 7 deaths that you have to go through.
• 14:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: One that stood out to me was belief systems, and…
• 14:33
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I think I started questioning that really around,
• 14:43
  Tammy Green Mitchell: About 12, 13 years ago.
• 14:46
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, it just began feeling like everything that I had been taught about religion as a child, growing up, Southern Baptist, in a small town.
• 14:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Felt… Inauthentic to me.
• 15:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It, honestly, it felt like more of a control mechanism.
• 15:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Like, all of these things are in place to keep you in line. You don't… you don't cross the line. You… you toe the line, and… and you buck up, and you do what everybody else is doing, and I just began questioning, you know.
• 15:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Is that what God wants? God wants every human being on this earth to conform to the rules?
• 15:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: of one religion.
• 15:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And that just really didn't ring true to me. And so that's when I started looking at everything that was underneath all of that, and… and the religion, and
• 15:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, the words in the Bible, and…
• 15:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And how my experience inside that, as a woman, actually was.
• 16:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And so, I, that was sort of one of the first deaths of the seven that I experienced.
• 16:12
  Tammy Green Mitchell: probably the next one, and the hardest one, is the death of relationships for me.
• 16:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I know that you've had your own experience with that, but people in my family of origin really just began migrating away from me.
• 16:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… or maybe I began migrating away from them. However you want to look at that, the… the distance
• 16:41
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Was obvious. And, the disconnection felt very obvious, and it felt personal for the longest time.
• 16:51
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, and it makes me sad. Even today, it makes me sad, because I don't…
• 17:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Want to be disconnected.
• 17:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I also get to be authentic, and be who I am, and be on the growth path that I'm on, whatever that looks like, and however different that is, than these people who raised me. And…
• 17:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And grew me.
• 17:23
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And so… I think, for me, I am just now getting to the point where I am unattached.
• 17:33
  Tammy Green Mitchell: to…
• 17:36
  Tammy Green Mitchell: what someone else thinks of me. They get to think whatever they need to think, and and I don't have any ill will, or hard feelings, or bad wishes. I don't want anything bad to happen.
• 17:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: to anyone that I've had a relationship with. Family of origin or not.
• 17:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: and I'm… I'm okay with letting them be who they need to be.
• 18:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I'm very firm about being who I need to be.
• 18:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, that's been really beautiful to watch unfold.
• 18:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Do you have any insight around any of those?
• 18:19
  Lori Walpole: Well, I just, you know, it's interesting, because I actually shared something on Facebook yesterday, and it was around,
• 18:27
  Lori Walpole: adult children disconnecting from their parents. You know, just stopping all contact, not being kind, and, you know, these parents who… and I'm not going to say this is true for everyone, Tammy, because there's some very toxic parents out there. There's some where, yes, you need to protect yourself, and it is appropriate to separate, but for many.
• 18:50
  Lori Walpole: And I found it interesting in the article.
• 18:54
  Lori Walpole: Because it actually kind of calls out a little bit about, you know, the therapy, the people who do therapy, you know, clinical therapy, and, you know, people… there was this one book that was written, and I don't know if it even mentioned what book it was, but it basically was telling them, just cut your parents off, just cut them off.
• 19:11
  Lori Walpole: You know, when in fact, our parents were… they were also doing their best with their programming, their conditioning, what they're facing in that day, and, you know.
• 19:25
  Lori Walpole: And their nervous systems were probably very dysregulated, and so they're just in survival mode.
• 19:32
  Lori Walpole: And so, they're loving… The kids and their family, you know, the best they can.
• 19:39
  Lori Walpole: Going through that, and finding, you know, these adult children, you know, separating from their families.
• 19:48
  Lori Walpole: And, yeah, y'all might think differently, and they're from a different era, and their programming's a little different than yours, and I see that. I found myself when I was 18.
• 20:01
  Lori Walpole: Or 19, I can't remember, somewhere around there. But my parents ended up divorcing, and I realized, oh my goodness, I don't have a relationship with my mother. And I didn't want that. When I looked up and I saw it, I went.
• 20:16
  Lori Walpole: I really want a relationship with my mom. So, my mom had divorced my dad, she didn't hardly make any money, so we decided to start doing lunches, like, once a week, once every other week, and we did those on the days that I wasn't working, so I wouldn't be rushed, and
• 20:33
  Lori Walpole: I mean, I paid for my own lunches, she couldn't afford it, and I was young, and I didn't have a lot of money, but…
• 20:39
  Lori Walpole: We were…
• 20:40
  Lori Walpole: coming back together, and then we started taking trips, going to see my grandmother, so I had the time in the car with her, and, you know, we're bonding through that, and then I have my baby girl, and then we're taking trips together to see my grandmother, so we're making all these experiences.
• 20:57
  Lori Walpole: And does she think the same way I do? Oh, heavens, no. No. But she is in a beautiful, peaceful, accepting place. She accepts herself.
• 21:06
  Lori Walpole: She accepts, you know, what's occurred in the past.
• 21:11
  Lori Walpole: And, she doesn't hold grudges around that. She knows that she was doing her best. And recently, we went down to, take care of the great… her great-grands, my grand twins, and while my daughter and her husband had a getaway.
• 21:28
  Lori Walpole: And we had some of the most beautiful conversations. They weren't easy. I mean, she ended up telling me about an experience I had at 3 years old with
• 21:38
  Lori Walpole: a male babysitter that I didn't even know happened.
• 21:41
  Lori Walpole: I'm like, whoa!
• 21:44
  Lori Walpole: But I was really proud of myself, Tammy, because while she was telling me that, I didn't go into a place of smallness. You know, I had other experiences, and I went, okay, so wow, it started even earlier than I remember.
• 22:00
  Lori Walpole: But she… she went over to that neighbor and let her know about her son's inappropriate behavior.
• 22:09
  Lori Walpole: So, it was a choice for me. And, you know, my dad was not perfect, but I continued to have the best relationship I could with him. What I would do to have a conversation with him now.
• 22:24
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 22:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, I… I hear that, and…
• 22:30
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, honestly, I think that it's easy to lump people into a…
• 22:36
  Tammy Green Mitchell: These adult kids are cutting ties with their parents, you know, kind of a… pool, Per se.
• 22:45
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I'm one of those adult kids that cut ties with my parents.
• 22:50
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And,
• 22:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, let me backtrack on that. I did not cut ties with my parents. My mother cut ties with me. Correct. And, I think there are circumstances and…
• 23:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: situations… that… You know, I just think it's an individual-type thing. I know that…
• 23:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: The… my family on my mother's side Carries a lot of toxicity.
• 23:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: The family itself does. The dynamics that the siblings had with each other is toxic. The dynamic that they have handed down to their children in many of the families is toxic.
• 23:44
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, you know…
• 23:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: My mother just flat out told me, if you're going to live the lifestyle you live, I don't want to be a part of it.
• 23:55
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… She died.
• 23:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: With… without us ever having a connection. Yeah. And that was 13 years before she passed. So…
• 24:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I hear the spirit of what you're saying, and… I can totally… forgive…
• 24:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: and discretions, because I'm a mother too, and I agree with you. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, and now that I know better, I do better.
• 24:29
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… I think… there are instances where the parents really are interested in doing better. That, for whatever reason.
• 24:41
  Tammy Green Mitchell: the fact that they produced a child here on this earth somehow seems to entitle them to loyalty and obligation and responsibility for that fact.
• 24:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: When, in reality, the child didn't ask to be brought here.
• 24:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I mean, that… that was the parent's decision.
• 24:59
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… I'm all about… we all make mistakes. No one gets out of this earth… suit.
• 25:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Without making mistakes.
• 25:11
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And at some point, as an adult.
• 25:15
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Each of us gets an opportunity to…
• 25:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Make amends for the things that we did wrong, or the harm that we caused.
• 25:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: to our children. Yeah. And… If one's ego or pride will not allow them to do that.
• 25:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I don't know that it's…
• 25:39
  Tammy Green Mitchell: valuable to ask a child to continue in that relationship, in that particular situation. I know that at the time.
• 25:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: like, my mother and I struggled my whole life. Like, our relationship was volatile from the time that I was born.
• 25:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And we each had a story about the other one, and we each… learned unhealthy
• 26:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: dynamics of how we related to each other. And…
• 26:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Until I got sober, as a matter of fact.
• 26:14
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I had to set a boundary immediately after getting sober that said, you know.
• 26:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: when you and I are on the phone together, and…
• 26:23
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you bring up this topic, which was the divorce between her and my father. When you bring this up, I'm going to disconnect from the phone, and I'm not going to continue that conversation.
• 26:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Because I can't afford to be angry. I can't afford to feel triggered. I'm trying to get sober. I'm trying to not drink anymore, and anger is one of the first triggers for me.
• 26:47
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 26:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, I'm gonna choose to disconnect, and when I've calmed down, I'll call you back, and we can continue talking about something other than this, because we're never going to agree on this.
• 26:59
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And that was the crux of it. My mother and I just disagreed about a whole lot.
• 27:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Most things in our life.
• 27:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And when my daughter was born, That added another thing about…
• 27:16
  Tammy Green Mitchell: what we're gonna disagree about. And… I just know…
• 27:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: how I felt as a child in the house with the chaos and the dysfunction and… everything that…
• 27:30
  Tammy Green Mitchell: happened in that house. It was not a safe house for a child to be in.
• 27:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I really hoped that some maturity had happened by the time that my daughter came along. And what I learned was, it really hadn't.
• 27:44
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And what kind of parent am I?
• 27:48
  Tammy Green Mitchell: to put my daughter in a same environment where I wasn't safe as a child.
• 27:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So… I don't hate… I never hated my mother.
• 28:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I loved her, and I told her that many, many times. I forgave her for what she didn't know.
• 28:11
  Tammy Green Mitchell: As a parent, as a young parent,
• 28:15
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… and I told her that I would always love her, I just needed to love her from a distance, because we were not our best selves when we were in proximity of each other.
• 28:28
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So… Do I think it's widespread that
• 28:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: children are just cutting their parents off? No, I don't think that's widespread. I think that…
• 28:42
  Tammy Green Mitchell: There is an awakening.
• 28:44
  Tammy Green Mitchell: That consciousness is expanding.
• 28:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: That more and more people are stepping into who they know themselves to be.
• 28:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And learning how to set boundaries, learning how to use their voices.
• 28:59
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And sometimes, that means the death of a relationship.
• 29:04
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 29:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Just… just kind of like what we were just talking about.
• 29:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Can it be abused? It absolutely can be abused. You know, the child, the adult child in question can also be completely emotionally immature, you know? So…
• 29:22
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I just think that's an individual… situation, and, for me, I'm…
• 29:33
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I think we get to trust what each party feels about that, and understand that they get to feel what they feel from their filter, and their lived experiences, and their perspective. And…
• 29:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I get to hold space for that.
• 29:50
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I have cousins on that side of the family.
• 29:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: who have also been estranged from their children for the same reasons. And so, it's really easy to see a pattern when you look at it like that. And…
• 30:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I don't… I don't think it's… Something that can easily
• 30:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: be diagnosed as, you know, these children are just crazy out here, and they're just cutting people off right and left. And I don't think it's as easy as saying, these parents are all toxic, and they deserve to be cut off. I think it's just an individual type
• 30:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: situation. You know, I've never been estranged from my dad.
• 30:37
  Tammy Green Mitchell: But I am not close to my dad right now. We have conversations every week, and there's nothing… I wouldn't trade anything for being able to have those conversations with him every week. And yet.
• 30:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Our conversations are very surface level.
• 30:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… and they have to be, because…
• 31:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: he has… he does not understand where I am, and… I… Don't understand where he is.
• 31:11
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I can love Him in spite of that, and He can love me in spite of that, and… and that's what we do! That's exactly where we are.
• 31:21
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, again, I wouldn't… I wouldn't trade it.
• 31:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: for anything. I would trade it to be closer to him, for us to be able to have very deep conversations. We used to do that when I was younger, and I think that my growth path has been a little…
• 31:40
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Further off the beaten path?
• 31:45
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So… He doesn't, you know, he doesn't understand that, and… and that's okay.
• 31:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's okay. It gets to be that way.
• 31:55
  Lori Walpole: Yeah, and I think, Tammy, that, you know, a lot of it comes from our own internal, you know, pain and hurt, and I would invite people just to get curious, you know, have some open conversations, if you can.
• 32:12
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know?
• 32:12
  Lori Walpole: You know, with your parents, or whoever it may be that you're disconnected from, because, you know, it could be a misunderstanding, it could be, you know, something that, you know, y'all just need to talk about.
• 32:25
  Lori Walpole: you know, find out the other person's perspective. What were they going through at the time? You saw… we saw… see through our own filtering system, and
• 32:36
  Lori Walpole: And just, you know, project out what pain we have on the inside onto others. I mean, that's what mirrors back to us.
• 32:44
  Lori Walpole: And so, I just… I mean, just some of the conversations, and again, my mom and I have been working on our relationships since I was 18, so I'm not gonna count on my fingers, but that was quite a few years ago.
• 32:55
  Lori Walpole: And so, I mean, and I'm still learning so much about the beautiful person that she is, and…
• 33:05
  Lori Walpole: she loves to just live in peace and kindness, and her peace is, you know, she loves being at home, and loves being in her space, and that's perfect for her. And I'm happy she's living her best life the way she is. And she supports me where I am, she supports my sister where she is. I mean, God, my sister, you know,
• 33:27
  Lori Walpole: we're not as connected as we used to be, but… I mean, my sister, I'm just so proud of her.
• 33:33
  Lori Walpole: She
• 33:35
  Lori Walpole: brings so much to this world with the work that she does. She's a mortgage loan officer, and she is one of those people that she's gonna get somebody the best deal, the best rate, the best option that you're gonna get from anybody.
• 33:51
  Lori Walpole: I see her doing that for people. I mean, there was one person in my life specifically who was going through a divorce.
• 33:58
  Lori Walpole: And she went out and found this… did all this research, found this program, got him a better rate, lowered, I think even lowered his payment, all this stuff, and I'm going.
• 34:10
  Lori Walpole: She even had the underwriter trying to argue with her. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you go, you go look at that. You go look at that. And they came back, wow, you're right, this can't be done. And I'm like, yeah, that's how my sister rolls.
• 34:22
  Lori Walpole: And yeah, she's got, you know, she has different people around her today than I do, so it looks very different for both of us, but she's got a group of people who love and support her. And so go! Go be you! Go live your best life!
• 34:40
  Lori Walpole: And I'm happy about that for her, but I see, I mean, like I've said before, Tammy, even though we grew up.
• 34:46
  Lori Walpole: you know, in the same environment, we still experience things very, very differently. I mean, she was the one that would fight back. I was the one who would just be like, okay, I'm just trying to leave this scene.
• 35:01
  Lori Walpole: Don't even know, I mean, look, the camera's following me. Don't even know.
• 35:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: But he…
• 35:05
  Lori Walpole: You know, just let me be. And, even that wasn't safe. I mean, I would still get drug out of my room by my alcoholic dad and all that, and whatever chaos was going on that night. But, I mean, that's the way… so I was very… I was not present.
• 35:21
  Lori Walpole: I mean, growing… I mean, that started really in third grade. I think that's when my mom took me to the library, and I was like, you could almost hear, you know…
• 35:28
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Thank goodness.
• 35:29
  Lori Walpole: You say, Like, you know, that was how I felt when I walked into a library, and I would.
• 35:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Right.
• 35:35
  Lori Walpole: stack of books like this?
• 35:37
  Lori Walpole: And I would read all of them in, like, two weeks. It's like, I need more, I need more, I need more. It was my escape. And then even in high school, you know, I,
• 35:47
  Lori Walpole: I dated a guy and his family, they were… they're such beautiful people, and I spent a whole lot of time there. You know, I…
• 35:55
  Lori Walpole: went to school, I… when I was able to, I started working, I played softball, and I hung out at my boyfriend's house. That's basically what I… so I wasn't present at home. So whatever chaos was still going on at the house, because my dad was still angry even when he got sober when I was in seventh grade.
• 36:11
  Lori Walpole: He didn't mellow out until his later years, but I mean, I wasn't there, and I recognize that. And so I know that, you know, she probably took a whole lot more on in that space than I did, but I chose just not to be there. I'm like, it's just safer for me not to even be here.
• 36:28
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Right.
• 36:29
  Lori Walpole: And so, you know, for me, you know, the deaths that we were talking about in the article, you know, the identity death thing for me, it's almost like…
• 36:39
  Lori Walpole: I had all these different roles, you know, the daughter, the mother, the banker, the lender, the construction person, the dog mom, the cat mom, all these different roles. And losing all of that, and just really coming back to find out who I am underneath, which I'm still uncovering that, you know, it's a work in progress.
• 36:59
  Lori Walpole: It really is.
• 37:01
  Lori Walpole: I just, you know, and I think you do this too, but I just really try to do my best every day, and I'm not perfect.
• 37:10
  Lori Walpole: I mean, there's sometimes I get triggered, somebody cuts me off in traffic, and I'm like.
• 37:15
  Lori Walpole: And that has always kind of gotten under my skin, so… Anyway, yeah.
• 37:23
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, I mean, You've heard me talk about this before, and I…
• 37:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, my mother passed 2 weeks before we left to move to Spain.
• 37:37
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I chose not to go to the funeral because she told me 13 years ago that she did not want to be a part of my life.
• 37:48
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I respected that. And so it… felt…
• 37:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Very disrespectful to me to show up at a funeral
• 37:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: after she stated what her wishes were 13 years prior. And I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset, I wasn't, like, trying to get revenge or anything. There's nothing like that. It honestly felt like the most respectful thing that I could do.
• 38:16
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, and I told my daughter, my daughter ended up going to the funeral, and interestingly enough, my ex-husband and his wife went to the funeral,
• 38:30
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And then, of course, my brother and his family was there, but, you know, I knew the moment that she passed. Like, I knew it. I smelled her.
• 38:41
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And it was a very distinct smell. She smoked her whole life, and so as a child, the scent… you know how you carry that scent of how your mother smells? It was the scent of cigarettes and perfume.
• 38:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So it was a very distinctive smell.
• 39:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I was at my dad's house when she passed. My dad doesn't smoke, nobody there smokes, he can't stand it, there's, you know, there's no smoke around there at all. And I… it just wafted all around me, and that's how I knew that she was gone. And,
• 39:18
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I had a very spiritual experience with her spirit at that point. It felt like…
• 39:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: For the first time in my life, everything that had been an obstacle to her loving me
• 39:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And this existence was gone.
• 39:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, for the first time in my entire life, in 57 years, I could feel how much she loved me from her spirit. I could feel how overwhelming that was.
• 39:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And it… it was honestly one of the most spiritual experiences of my life.
• 40:00
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 40:01
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And she showed up on my birthday as well. I smelled her again, and it was…
• 40:11
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It was on my birthday, and it was the first time
• 40:15
  Tammy Green Mitchell: That she's celebrating my birthday with me in 40 years?
• 40:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And it was very beautiful!
• 40:23
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And again, it was such a spiritual experience, and… from where I sit.
• 40:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: If I had to miss that.
• 40:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: During her existence while she was alive here.
• 40:40
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I would do it all again, just to experience that in totality after she was gone.
• 40:48
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Because it was so beautiful, and so unconditional, and so… completely… unfettered.
• 40:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, so that was amazing. Another thought I had, when you were talking about
• 41:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: the different experiences of your childhood, that has become so clear to me, really, in the last year or two, how you can grow up with a sibling in the same household and have two completely different experiences of your childhood.
• 41:23
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, I'm 9 years older than my brother, And I…
• 41:29
  Tammy Green Mitchell: was sort of born into the family as, a parentified child. You know, I was there to take care of everyone, and I was there to…
• 41:42
  Tammy Green Mitchell: be the parents that neither of my parents could be. They had no relationship skills, they had no emotional skills.
• 41:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And they got married because she was pregnant with me.
• 41:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So… I was already responsible at age 2.
• 42:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I was responsible for everything and everyone, and… and I knew how to…
• 42:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: tread very lightly so as I could read the room in a heartbeat, you know?
• 42:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, by the time my brother came along at 9,
• 42:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: when I was age 9, you know, he was wanted. They had been trying to have another baby.
• 42:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, his whole experience was completely different than mine.
• 42:32
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, he was born, and I was, again, a parentified child.
• 42:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: At that time. And so, when we brought him home from the hospital, he slept in one of my doll cradles.
• 42:46
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, that's how tiny he was, and he was my baby!
• 42:51
  Lori Walpole: Yep.
• 42:51
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So,
• 42:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, his whole experience was just different. You know, I don't know, he might have a different viewpoint on that.
• 43:01
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And,
• 43:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: But for me, especially as adults, it's a lot easier to see just how different our childhood experience was. We don't… we aren't as close as we could be, and… and I miss that. I love him. Like you, I…
• 43:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I respect what he does for a living. He's,
• 43:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, he didn't come out of our childhood unscathed. He's as much OCD as I am, and he has as many control issues as I do.
• 43:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And,
• 43:40
  Tammy Green Mitchell: you know, that's how he processes what he needs to process, and I just… he's an amazing man, and he's an amazing father and husband, and I love him, and I cherish every…
• 43:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: conversation that we get to have. And,
• 44:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I will, for as long as I'm on this timeline.
• 44:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So…
• 44:06
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I want to get back to the deaths, the 7 deaths, which is what we started with, because I feel like where I am in that whole cycle
• 44:18
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I feel like I've processed most of them at this point, and I'm in the part where, the death that I get to process is an ego death.
• 44:30
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… and I feel it. Like, I really feel it. I feel that the things that used to trigger me no longer trigger me. The things that I wanted before.
• 44:43
  Tammy Green Mitchell: are not necessarily things that I want now. The things that made me feel like I know who I am
• 44:50
  Tammy Green Mitchell: are no longer the things that make me feel like I know…
• 44:55
  Tammy Green Mitchell: it feels a lot like I'm floating, like I'm floating in a black void, or… or some…
• 45:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: In between space, and everything that made me me, from my past, is…
• 45:13
  Tammy Green Mitchell: a reflection in the mirror, and that's it. There's nothing that…
• 45:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Gets its hooks in me as easily as it used to.
• 45:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And, and that's a really… Interesting and, beautiful place to be.
• 45:37
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Like you said, when we can be curious about what's happening to us, around us, for us.
• 45:45
  Lori Walpole: for us.
• 45:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: When we can be curious instead of attached, and making it mean something about us, for me.
• 45:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: My life just tends to flow so much more easily.
• 46:02
  Lori Walpole: Yeah, I think sometimes, Tammy, I know we were talking about a couple things that happened to us recently. It's almost like the universe tests us. You're telling me, oh, you know, you're in this space, you're feeling great, blah blah, and then boom, here comes your test. How are you gonna respond?
• 46:20
  Lori Walpole: Are you gonna go back to those old patterns? Are you gonna go back into that victim mentality? Are you gonna take a moment and just look at it and be like.
• 46:29
  Lori Walpole: Wow.
• 46:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 46:32
  Lori Walpole: I get to respond differently.
• 46:34
  Lori Walpole: I get to choose. How am I gonna respond?
• 46:40
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, it's the pause, you know? It's the pause, and when you… when I…
• 46:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: can rest in the pause for just a minute before I just… Make it mean something.
• 46:55
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I mean, that's what I'm guilty of. All the filters, all the previous experiences, they all go into what our brains tell us is happening. When something happens around us, or, you know, to us, I don't really want to say to us, when something becomes in our orbit.
• 47:14
  Tammy Green Mitchell: that impacts us. Our brain automatically
• 47:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: makes a connection to a previous experience, and determines whether that thing is good or bad. And…
• 47:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: for me, the pause is the integral moment, because if I can just stop long enough and lift above whatever it is that's happening.
• 47:39
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And look at it, And be curious about it.
• 47:43
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Then, all of the power… To make me react a certain way leads with that.
• 47:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Like, I just don't have to respond.
• 47:55
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 47:56
  Lori Walpole: And just let it float on by.
• 47:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 47:59
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 48:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 48:00
  Lori Walpole: You know, one of the, one of the ones that was mentioned was about belief systems, and I feel like right now, Tammy, you know, a lot of people are awakening, we're gonna use that word, to what we call the fuckery in this world.
• 48:16
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 48:16
  Lori Walpole: You know, our government systems, our, you know, how we've been controlled.
• 48:22
  Lori Walpole: The information that has been indoctrinated into us, the propaganda.
• 48:28
  Lori Walpole: there's so much there, and I'm not saying that I don't still see through a filtering system, because I do. I mean, we've all been programmed since birth, so I'm… I know there…
• 48:38
  Lori Walpole: I'm not so far along my ego death to say that, oh my god, none of it affects me, I don't have any. I still do, I still have my own thoughts, and again, I may be, you know, presented with something today, tomorrow, that may cause me to say, oh, you know.
• 48:54
  Lori Walpole: I resonate with that, and I'm gonna pivot just a little bit. And that's okay, all of it's fine. You know, we get to admit that, yeah, I totally believed in that, but I don't believe in that today, and that's okay. All of it's fine.
• 49:08
  Lori Walpole: But, wow, it's interesting, though, Tammy, people, you know, being on social media and seeing people still fighting about political shit, they don't care about us. It's all an agenda! I mean, once you dig down and you realize that it's too… what, too,
• 49:27
  Lori Walpole: two wings of the same bird, you know, the right and the left, and they just want us fighting amongst ourselves to further disconnect us, which, what I was talking about earlier, you know, with the book and everything, the psychologist and what have you, about just disconnect, just disconnect. I mean, that's another way to disconnect us.
• 49:44
  Tammy Green Mitchell: When we're met?
• 49:46
  Lori Walpole: to be connected. Now, with this being connected, that doesn't mean every single person that shows up in front of you, you're supposed to have in your life, you know, 24-7? No. But something's coming into your,
• 49:59
  Lori Walpole: into your field to look at. It's a lesson, it's… there's something there for us.
• 50:06
  Lori Walpole: And so we get to choose how we respond. Like, for… as far as the news and all that, I mean, I've turned that off years ago, and now it's just kind of, you know…
• 50:17
  Lori Walpole: I just see so many versions of Trump and Biden and all these people, and then, you know, there's…
• 50:23
  Lori Walpole: find out that there's 200,000 people in central casting, and, you know, everything that we know about that stuff, it's through the media and the propaganda system. Is any of it real? Any of it?
• 50:37
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Exactly, yeah. I mean… There's no way to know what's true and what's not anymore.
• 50:44
  Lori Walpole: So, what I'll choose to focus on today is.
• 50:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: God.
• 50:47
  Lori Walpole: is what's in front of me, and putting goodness and love in the world, and my intentions. Our intentions are super important, and to take the time to really release what I've held so I can see better.
• 51:02
  Lori Walpole: And be able to pause.
• 51:06
  Lori Walpole: have the capacity to pause for what's in front of me. Am I going to be perfect? No! I'm not, I'm human. I mean, I feel like we came here to have the experiences that we are for the soul growth. And some people are further on their path in one capacity for their soul growth.
• 51:24
  Lori Walpole: And then, you know, I'm further on my path to somewhere else. I may not even be there where you are on that piece, but I could be over here on this piece. I mean, we're all right where we're supposed to be, learning what we're supposed to learn.
• 51:36
  Lori Walpole: You know, that DNA is strong. We've got that stuff generationally in our… in our DNA, in our ancestral lines, you know? It's not just trauma, there's strengths there, too. We get to tap into.
• 51:49
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Right.
• 51:50
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 51:52
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely.
• 51:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely. You know, Yeah.
• 52:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's… it's not all…
• 52:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, I was reading something the other day that really resonated about where you are. At some point.
• 52:12
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Your identity becomes less about healing, the healing itself.
• 52:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And becomes more about… being.
• 52:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Just being.
• 52:26
  Lori Walpole: And walking the path, and just, you know.
• 52:28
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Thank you.
• 52:29
  Lori Walpole: Bing!
• 52:30
  Lori Walpole: Yes. I mean, what are your ways of being? How are you being?
• 52:35
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, the United States.
• 52:36
  Lori Walpole: States of us, United States of us, it's like it's a way of being. You know, mind, body, and soul connection, so we get to… how are we going to be through that? Who do we get to be?
• 52:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah. It's not all work all the time. I guess that's where I was going with that. The healing, you're not… you don't have to…
• 52:56
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It doesn't have to be so hard.
• 53:00
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It gets to be easy.
• 53:02
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, you don't always have to be in healing mode and working towards something, and sometimes you just get to be, just to enjoy where you are and be who you are in that moment, because tomorrow you may be different, and that's good, that's okay.
• 53:23
  Lori Walpole: I took a little time out yesterday afternoon. Yesterday was such an amazing day. I volunteered at the food bank, I, you know, we had…
• 53:31
  Lori Walpole: I just had some amazing discussions. There was movement on, like, everything that, you know, I'm involved with, and it just felt like such a good day, and I'm going, I am just gonna sit here.
• 53:44
  Lori Walpole: And just feel the feels in this, because I get this moment right now to do that. And I was just sitting on my back porch, and I had the biggest smile on my face, and playing a little bit with Dusty Rose, and of course that mama squirrel came up to the feeder, and that tail flicking at me. She's so funny.
• 54:01
  Lori Walpole: But just getting to sit there and just feel the movement.
• 54:06
  Lori Walpole: And I found myself yesterday, Tammy.
• 54:09
  Lori Walpole: Once again, saying out to the universe.
• 54:12
  Lori Walpole: I am ready to move forward.
• 54:15
  Lori Walpole: Oh my gosh, and I'm so excited how that's gonna look, and I went, it's September. I made the same statement last September. Let's go. Let's go.
• 54:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Let's go!
• 54:27
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 54:29
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Oh, I love that.
• 54:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, that reminds me, too, because I was part of your statement last September.
• 54:38
  Lori Walpole: Yes.
• 54:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I just want to acknowledge
• 54:43
  Tammy Green Mitchell: how much I cherish our friendship.
• 54:45
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And how much I cherish our relationship. You are one of my oldest friends.
• 54:51
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And we've been through so many different phases of our lives together, and separate, that whole ebb and flow thing. But I wanted to acknowledge
• 55:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: really, how inspired I am by you.
• 55:09
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And how much I consider you to be…
• 55:14
  Tammy Green Mitchell: a spiritual advisor to me. Like, when something happens.
• 55:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: to me, or around me, or for me, and I question
• 55:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: why, or what that's supposed to mean, or what I'm supposed to do with that. You're one of the first ones that I think of calling and saying, hey, Lori, help me track this.
• 55:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: what are you seeing around this? What are you feeling? And…
• 55:45
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I just wanted you to know that you are a treasure in my life, and I'm so grateful for you.
• 55:53
  Lori Walpole: I feel the same way about you, Tammy.
• 55:56
  Lori Walpole: I am so grateful for our friendship.
• 56:00
  Lori Walpole: Your energy, you, being in my life.
• 56:05
  Lori Walpole: I mean, I just…
• 56:08
  Lori Walpole: Had you asked me at 19, at 54, would I be doing a podcast with
• 56:13
  Lori Walpole: Tammy, you know, who's living in Spain, and all of the… I would have thought you were crazy!
• 56:21
  Lori Walpole: But you've always been… you've always felt like safety to me, and I have not had a lot of that in my life.
• 56:28
  Lori Walpole: So, thank you.
• 56:30
  Lori Walpole: Thank you.
• 56:33
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 56:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: thing.
• 56:35
  Lori Walpole: I just, you know, I truly feel, you know, even just with anyone, people are showing up to us, you know, for a lesson, they're a teacher. I mean, I learn from everyone around me. They may be in a different place spiritually, but I could have a conversation with someone, I don't know the…
• 56:53
  Lori Walpole: pumping gas at the gas station or at the grocery store, and the next thing I know, this little nugget of something is said through the… out of their mouth, and I'm like.
• 57:04
  Lori Walpole: Wow, thank you for that message! Wow! In that perfect moment, I needed it! Complete stranger, never see him again.
• 57:12
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Right.
• 57:13
  Lori Walpole: what I needed, and the only way that happens is when I'm in the present.
• 57:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, so…
• 57:20
  Lori Walpole: notice it. It happens, but it's the only way I notice it is if I'm present.
• 57:25
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 57:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I love to call those Godwinks.
• 57:29
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I don't typically use the word God, but there's no other word that seems to describe that for me. It's just a little…
• 57:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You know, just a little boop!
• 57:40
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Okay, the universe is letting me know. I see you!
• 57:45
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Here you go!
• 57:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Do you recognize it? Can you see me?
• 57:50
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, I really… I love that.
• 57:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I really do love that.
• 57:55
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 57:58
  Lori Walpole: And like you said…
• 57:59
  Tammy Green Mitchell: To see it, you have to be present. You actually have to be here. You can't be worried about the future, you can't be worried about the past. To be right here, you get to be…
• 58:11
  Tammy Green Mitchell: In this moment.
• 58:14
  Lori Walpole: And the great thing, Tammy, is what we're being in this moment is creating our future selves.
• 58:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely.
• 58:21
  Lori Walpole: And I feel my future self pulling me. I mean, this past year, there's been so much growth and so much release.
• 58:29
  Lori Walpole: And it's almost like I feel it. It's like, yeah, that's it, that's it, keep doing that. And I find myself, Tammy, I know in the past, I mean, I think I've mentioned this before, but I've had moments, like, really, just moments where I've had these amazing messages that have come through.
• 58:47
  Lori Walpole: And I find myself today, I'm actually consciously sending my past self those messages.
• 58:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Wow. Wow.
• 58:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: What an observation, I love that.
• 59:00
  Lori Walpole: And going back, and when, you know, things are coming up, and, you know, I'm looking at memories that I'm obviously needing to look at, and process emotion, release the emotion, I am actually consciously loving myself wherever I was in those moments.
• 59:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, so important.
• 59:22
  Lori Walpole: Yeah, I mean, I… my soul needs me to go back and do that, because it was tough going through some of that.
• 59:29
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 59:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And we tend to make it hard on ourselves. You know, we tend to blame ourselves for things, and carry remorse, and guilt, and sometimes shame, and none of that is helpful.
• 59:46
  Tammy Green Mitchell: None of it is. And I told a friend the other day, as a matter of fact, who was experiencing this same kind of thing, and I said, you know.
• 59:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I think this is actually a Maya Angelou quote, but the whole…
• 1:00:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: You did the best you could with what you had in the moment, and when you know better, you do better.
• 1:00:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I think that we get to look at ourselves with that lens. Like, we really get to…
• 1:00:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Love who we were.
• 1:00:20
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Flaws, warts, mistakes, everything. All of it. We just get to love us.
• 1:00:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Because that person then is what got us to this person today. Yeah. And without that person, we wouldn't be here.
• 1:00:35
  Lori Walpole: And without those experiences, we wouldn't be right where we are either, Tammy. And, you know, I even made a comment on the post I put yesterday. I wouldn't change a thing, because, like you said, how you wouldn't trade the way you felt in that moment. I would not trade the way I felt in the moments of the joy.
• 1:00:55
  Lori Walpole: That pendulum swing from, oh, the deep sadness to get to feel the joy.
• 1:01:02
  Lori Walpole: I wouldn't trade it for anything.
• 1:01:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 1:01:07
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 1:01:08
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah.
• 1:01:12
  Lori Walpole: And God, the lessons learned through all of that, wow. Yeah.
• 1:01:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, it just occurred to me, when we can do that to ourselves, when we can love ourselves.
• 1:01:27
  Tammy Green Mitchell: When we can give ourselves grace.
• 1:01:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: For our past flaws, and character defects and mistakes, when we can really, really, really learn how to do that.
• 1:01:41
  Tammy Green Mitchell: and how to love through that, I think that opens a door for us to be able to do that with others.
• 1:01:49
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I think until we do that, anything that we can offer up to others is just… Not quite 100%.
• 1:01:58
  Lori Walpole: I mean, we give that to others so much better than we do to ourselves, but you're right, it's not 100%, because kind of go into your own mind, like, oh my god, well, I did all this, I did all this, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy, when yes, you are worthy. I love how Buddha Betty says.
• 1:02:13
  Lori Walpole: God, her journey was amazing. I'd love to see if she would come on and talk to us sometime, but she says she got a message when she was at her lowest that
• 1:02:23
  Lori Walpole: You are worthy of all the love in the universe, and we all are.
• 1:02:28
  Lori Walpole: We are.
• 1:02:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, just because we're here.
• 1:02:33
  Lori Walpole: Yeah.
• 1:02:33
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Just because we're here.
• 1:02:38
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yes, we do offer that to others a lot more freely than we do to ourselves, especially when it's people that we love, or that we admire, or that we're inspired by. But we also do the opposite to people, that…
• 1:02:54
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Make us feel less than, or make us feel…
• 1:02:58
  Tammy Green Mitchell: not so great about ourselves, you know? Or… and it's all based on stories that we've created ourselves, but we're quick to judge those people, and we're quick to…
• 1:03:10
  Tammy Green Mitchell: hold them to a fault. And so…
• 1:03:13
  Tammy Green Mitchell: for me, that's exactly what I was just thinking, that
• 1:03:17
  Tammy Green Mitchell: when I get to learn how to love me without condition, In all of my imperfections.
• 1:03:26
  Tammy Green Mitchell: that that is when I really get to love someone else at 100%.
• 1:03:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: That's really when I'm not judgmental. That's really when I'm not blaming.
• 1:03:41
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… when I can fully… offer everything that I have at 100%.
• 1:03:50
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And 100% is so much easier than 99%!
• 1:03:54
  Lori Walpole: Yeah. Yeah, it really is.
• 1:03:58
  Lori Walpole: So, I know I've mentioned, and I know we're running out of our time, but I know I mentioned before about, you know, distractions, and…
• 1:04:08
  Lori Walpole: I think the biggest thing about just… you know, everything in this world is kind of a distraction. You know, you've got your TV, you've got whatever, all these… you've got to go keep up with the Joneses, you've got to do all these birthday parties, you've got to do all this stuff.
• 1:04:23
  Lori Walpole: And I feel like all of the entertainment, the distractions, everything that is put out there is to keep us from finding ourselves, Tammy, finding our way back to loving ourselves. Because you're right, once we do.
• 1:04:41
  Lori Walpole: the heart completely opens, and you have the capacity to love others. We really can't truly love others till we love ourselves.
• 1:04:50
  Lori Walpole: And today, I love myself, I love all the versions, and I see that you do too, Tammy, for yourself.
• 1:04:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely.
• 1:04:59
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely.
• 1:05:01
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I'm a badass. I mean, there's just no two ways about it.
• 1:05:05
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I came here that way, and…
• 1:05:09
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And… I've messed up a lot of things in my life.
• 1:05:14
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And none of it was because I wanted to mess it up.
• 1:05:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: It's because I wanted to learn, and I wanted to be free, and I wanted to be who I was… who I came here to be.
• 1:05:28
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Well, and through…
• 1:05:29
  Lori Walpole: all, you know, what we'll call mistakes, or what have you, or, you know, things that we're not so proud of in the past, it gave us…
• 1:05:39
  Lori Walpole: you know, we were able to work through that. It gave us wisdom, it gave us the ability to hold space for others who had… have similar experiences. Or… and the experience may be different, but as far as the wound and the trauma.
• 1:05:54
  Lori Walpole: You know, we're able to hold space for others when they just need to be able to speak out and help them release and move along their paths as well.
• 1:06:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:06:06
  Lori Walpole: I mean, we're all here to walk each other home. Let's just, you know, like Angelica said in our last podcast, find your community. Find your community. We all have different communities, but the community is there for you. Turn off the TV, go find a community.
• 1:06:22
  Lori Walpole: I'm so fortunate to be part of different communities with so many beautiful people. I'm so grateful, so grateful.
• 1:06:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Same. From all walks of life.
• 1:06:34
  Lori Walpole: Yes.
• 1:06:34
  Tammy Green Mitchell: From all walks of life, and I love that so much. I really…
• 1:06:39
  Lori Walpole: each other, and we just get to hold space and love each other exactly where we are and who we are. I don't shove my beliefs down people. Now, I'm not saying I had never tried to do that, trying to wake people up, oh my god, did you know this?
• 1:06:51
  Lori Walpole: You know, yeah, I've done some of that.
• 1:06:53
  Lori Walpole: And I might still have occasions that that slips out, just because it's like, how can you not see it? But people see what they're ready to see, and I understand that. Absolutely. Yeah.
• 1:07:03
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Absolutely.
• 1:07:04
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, read off the 7 deaths again, Lori, if you still have that in front of you. Just the title.
• 1:07:12
  Lori Walpole: Yep, I can pull that up very quickly, Holt, please.
• 1:07:15
  Tammy Green Mitchell: I would like to… assess where I am currently, and set an intention to work toward one of them.
• 1:07:25
  Lori Walpole: Okay.
• 1:07:25
  Lori Walpole: The 7 deaths you experience without physically dying. Number 1, the death of an identity. Number two, the death of a relationship. Number three, the death of a dream.
• 1:07:39
  Lori Walpole: Number 4, the death of a belief system. Number 5, the death of the future you imagined. Number 6, the death of your old self. Number 7, the death of needing to know who you're becoming.
• 1:07:57
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Okay, then I'm right. I've gone through 6 of them, and I am currently involved in the death of needing to know who I am becoming.
• 1:08:07
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, I'm gonna set an intention here and now that that is going to be my focus for the next month.
• 1:08:16
  Lori Walpole: Alright.
• 1:08:17
  Lori Walpole: Beautiful.
• 1:08:19
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Thank you so much for joining today. We didn't have a guest, and I love it when it's just the two of us, because it brings us closer, and we can really get weird with it.
• 1:08:31
  Tammy Green Mitchell: So, I have some good things that are coming out that I can't wait to share on our podcast. You have some great things that are coming out that we can't wait to hear about as well. So, we will see you next week, and until then, I love you!
• 1:08:47
  Tammy Green Mitchell: And I'm so glad that we're united.
• 1:08:51
  Lori Walpole: Let's laugh.
• 1:08:53
  Tammy Green Mitchell: Thank you.