Latest / Outspoken the Podcast / Where's My Village?!

Transcript

Where's My Village?! · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This episode has been made possible thanks to our launch partner,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Minnie and me, and their incredible Mama Bites, a six-in-one
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: functional snack to nourish feeding mamas. Hello and welcome to
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: The Mums Group, The Mums Group you actually want to
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: be a part of. I'm Kate Torber and I'm joined
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: by my sisters and journalists, Amy and Sophie Torber. I
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: feel like I need to preface that we are triplets
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: for those tuning in on YouTube because we're We have
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: another podcast called Outspoken and we often film podcast clips
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: for that. And we've got a lot of comments on
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  Speaker 1: TikToks asking if we're the same person. People will be like,
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  Speaker 1: is this some sort of comedy skit? Because the person
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: looks slightly different in each frame. Like they put a
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  Speaker 1: hat on. Yeah, where they just change one thing about themselves.
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  Speaker 1: But then again, other people say you look nothing alike.
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  Speaker 1: So I don't know. You can't win. We thought we'd
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: dive into how our weeks have been. I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: kick things off because I'm running on absolute fumes at
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  Speaker 1: the moment. What I have learned being a mom is
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  Speaker 1: the second that you think you have everything under control,
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  Speaker 1: you get a curve ball thrown at you. I think
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  Speaker 1: it's anytime you're smug. So my husband and I, we
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: were actually watching some old videos of when we were
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  Speaker 1: going through the newborn stage and we were both like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: that sends shivers down our spine. How lucky are we?
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  Speaker 1: We're going to have a good sleep tonight because our
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  Speaker 1: son I don't want to sound all influencer, but we
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  Speaker 1: get a sleep score every night and he's been getting
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  Speaker 1: like a 92 or a 93. That's his aura ring score,
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  Speaker 1: isn't it? Yeah, pretty much. You were going to get
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  Speaker 1: people hating on you, Sophie. Well, I got calmer last
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  Speaker 1: night because I thought, oh, get into bed. He was
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  Speaker 1: awake from 12.30 to 2 a.m., would not go back
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  Speaker 1: to sleep, was crying. We think he's teething at the moment.
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  Speaker 1: Finally got him back to sleep after an hour and
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  Speaker 1: a half, trying back up at five o'clock, crying again,
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  Speaker 1: slept on me for about an hour. They do say
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: that mum's kids who don't sleep are living a very
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  Speaker 1: different life to those who do. They are. I felt
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  Speaker 1: like a zombie all day. It is reminding me of
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  Speaker 1: the newborn days and I'm actually really nervous about tonight,
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  Speaker 1: how that's going to go. What was Lucas' sleep score
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  Speaker 1: last night? I think I was actually like 77 or something.
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  Speaker 1: So it wasn't too bad. I don't want to sound
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  Speaker 1: negative either, but my week was quite a difficult one
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: as well. As you can probably tell by my voice,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I picked up a cold from my son. I've just
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  Speaker 1: started taking him to kinder gym and the joys of,
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  Speaker 1: you know, mixing with other children. And my husband also
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: got his wisdom teeth taken out this week. So it's
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  Speaker 1: been tough. Well, I actually had a fantastic week because
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  Speaker 1: on Thursday I had my iron infusion. And last week
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  Speaker 1: we were talking about how all these mundane tasks actually
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  Speaker 1: turn into this complete luxury. I got to lie down
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  Speaker 1: for an hour. I got to have a Coke Zero
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  Speaker 1: after because apparently that helps you from not feeling so bad.
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  Speaker 1: It was amazing. Amy's trying to be the positive mum
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  Speaker 1: amongst the hosts at the moment because we were like,
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  Speaker 1: oh God, I hope last week's episode wasn't too negative. Well, Sophie,
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  Speaker 1: you sent through these notes of what you had intended
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  Speaker 1: to talk about in the first episode. I was like, geez,
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  Speaker 1: we cannot talk about this. Sophie's still in the trenches.
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  Speaker 1: You're actually influencing me to get an iron infusion. It
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  Speaker 1: sounds lovely. Well, I scared myself. I somehow got on
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  Speaker 1: the wrong side of TikTok where everyone was talking about
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  Speaker 1: how sick you get and how people were rushed to hospital.
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  Speaker 1: And then I found a girl saying, no, just have
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  Speaker 1: a Coke Zero or a full strength Coke and fruit tingles.
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  Speaker 1: You're like, babe, I already do that. I have a
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  Speaker 1: Coke Zero every day. No, but it was saying that
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  Speaker 1: apparently your phosphate levels go low. And so apparently Coke
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  Speaker 1: and fruit tingles have phosphate in it. I know you're
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  Speaker 1: saying that this was like a high of your week,
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  Speaker 1: but didn't you also have a bit of a rude burn? Oh, no,
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  Speaker 1: I had this lovely nurse and I don't know if
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  Speaker 1: I misinterpreted what she said. So basically I said, oh,
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  Speaker 1: do you do a lot of iron infusions? And she said, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we do all ages. You know, we've got young girls
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  Speaker 1: coming in who've just got their periods and they're really heavy.
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  Speaker 1: So they're depleted. And then we've got people like, you know,
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  Speaker 1: like the middle ages where And I was thinking, wait
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  Speaker 1: a second, did you just call me middle-aged? I know
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  Speaker 1: we're nearly 37 and I'm going to admit it, okay,
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  Speaker 1: that is late 30s. I had an argument with my
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  Speaker 1: husband about it. I was like, no, it's still mid,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: but no, it is late 30s. It's late. I still
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  Speaker 1: think she means like middle-of-the-road age. See, because I sometimes
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  Speaker 1: think that people must look at me and be like, wow,
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  Speaker 1: she's too young to have a child. And then I'm like, actually,
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  Speaker 1: I'm quite old to have my first child. I've seen
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  Speaker 1: people going on about it that most millennials feel like
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  Speaker 1: that and we're actually just delusional. Okay, guys, unpopular.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe popular opinion, you let me know. But I've been
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  Speaker 2: sitting here thinking, where the fuck is my village?
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  Speaker 1: Since becoming a mum, I've seen a lot of people
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  Speaker 1: saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
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  Speaker 1: But in 2026, do you think that we actually have
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  Speaker 1: the same village that our parents and grandparents had? I
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  Speaker 1: honestly don't think so. I think there are so many
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  Speaker 1: mums out there that are feeling isolated at home. And
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  Speaker 1: if you look at the way society has changed, people
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  Speaker 1: don't go to church anymore. We don't know our neighbours.
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  Speaker 1: A lot of people have moved for work, so they
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  Speaker 1: don't live close to their family. And something that was
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  Speaker 1: once done with a, you know, as you said, a
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  Speaker 1: village full of people, all the tasks are now being
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  Speaker 1: expected to be completed just by the mum and the dad.
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  Speaker 1: I think that's just a reflection on how we live
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  Speaker 1: these days. Like we're very siloed and people don't like
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  Speaker 1: asking for help. So I don't necessarily think it just
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  Speaker 1: comes down to the fact that people don't want to
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  Speaker 1: help you. Sometimes I think it's about accepting that help
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  Speaker 1: because I know for myself, You know, I had this
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  Speaker 1: routine that I wanted to stick by and I didn't
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  Speaker 1: really feel right asking other people to run by this
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  Speaker 1: strict routine. And also the fact that the majority of
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  Speaker 1: women work full time now. So back when our grandparents
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  Speaker 1: were having children, it was expected that all women stayed
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  Speaker 1: at home. So they would have the time to all
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  Speaker 1: meet up, catch up, be there for one another. Well,
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  Speaker 1: according to Parenting at Peanut, around 82% of moms say
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  Speaker 1: they feel isolated at home. And around half of mums
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  Speaker 1: admit to crying each week. I remember when I first
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  Speaker 1: had my son, the first couple of weeks are so
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  Speaker 1: different because everyone's coming over and visiting and everyone's excited
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  Speaker 1: and your husband's home. But it's actually once your husband's
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  Speaker 1: back at work that the reality sets in that you're like, oh, okay,
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  Speaker 1: this is just me. I mean, I was so lucky.
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  Speaker 1: My mum was over so much. But a lot of
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  Speaker 1: people don't have that. I also think there's this thing
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  Speaker 1: where people think that they don't want to intrude. You
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  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Because it's always like, oh, give
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  Speaker 1: them some space. And sometimes you're like, I actually want
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  Speaker 1: you to intrude because I don't want to ask for help.
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  Speaker 1: I just want you to be there. I remember begging
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  Speaker 1: my mom to be like, can you please not go
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  Speaker 1: and clean? Like she'd be like, okay, while you're breastfeeding,
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  Speaker 1: I'm just going to go clean these bottles up and
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  Speaker 1: put them in the sterilizer. I'm like, I just want
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  Speaker 1: you to sit and talk to me. But I actually
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  Speaker 1: think this is why we are seeing more and more
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  Speaker 1: people only having one child or two. You know, we're
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  Speaker 1: not having these huge extended families like back in the
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  Speaker 1: fifties where people would have five or six kids because
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  Speaker 1: There's not that sense of community that's going to help
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  Speaker 1: raise that child together. So if you feel like one
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  Speaker 1: and done is your Roman empire at the moment, then
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  Speaker 1: we are going to talk about that more in another episode.
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  Speaker 1: But it seems like influencer Ruby Tuesday Matthews has come
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  Speaker 1: up with a solution for those who are yearning for
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  Speaker 1: that village. So the other week, she jokingly pitched the
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  Speaker 1: idea of a mother's commune. And I'm really here for it.
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  Speaker 1: Let's take a listen to more of what she said.
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  Speaker 3: You have that rare occasion where you have a girlfriend
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  Speaker 3: come over and you're like doing all the mothering together.
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  Speaker 2: And you just say, what? Am I meant to be
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  Speaker 2: a lesbian? Like, I'm not into girls, but this is
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  Speaker 2: so much easier.
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  Speaker 3: And then I go, actually, think about those holidays where
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  Speaker 3: you go on and obviously you have to organize it,
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  Speaker 3: pack everyone's bags, get everyone there. Generally, the men are
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  Speaker 3: out like barbecuing or something and all the women are
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  Speaker 3: in there making the salads, bathing the children and everything
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  Speaker 3: is so peaceful.
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  Speaker 2: Everyone's so happy. I'm meant to live in a cave
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  Speaker 2: and be like doing this. Obviously, it's caveman era style.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm like, it's got me thinking. Commune. Women's commune.
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  Speaker 3: Imagine a commune where the men lived on like, I
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  Speaker 3: don't know where they live, but the women all live
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  Speaker 3: together with the kids. And like when someone has a baby,
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  Speaker 3: we all go help her.
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  Speaker 2: Really nice idea. Obviously it's never going to happen. That
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  Speaker 2: would just be so much easier.
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  Speaker 3: Like you'd be having a bad day and you'd be like,
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  Speaker 3: I put my period and everyone would be like, fuck.
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  Speaker 3: She's got her period. Let's take her kids. Like what's
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  Speaker 3: one more? We've got 50 in the commune. dinner time
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  Speaker 3: would be easier, cooking and cleaning would be easier. Everything
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  Speaker 3: would be easier because everyone would just be on the
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  Speaker 3: same page of how things are meant to run.
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  Speaker 1: Where do you sign up for this? Because this sounds incredible.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe someone needs to copyright the idea and actually get,
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  Speaker 1: you know, plans into motion for it. Amy and I
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  Speaker 1: had a similar discussion a couple of months ago, because
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  Speaker 1: we have been bringing our boys over to each other's houses,
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  Speaker 1: you know, one day a week. And we find that
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  Speaker 1: it is so much more fun to do the parenting together.
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  Speaker 1: And you'd be like, oh, can you hand me that?
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  Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, sure. Like you almost, you know what
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  Speaker 1: the other person needs, where sometimes your husband doesn't, they're
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: not that, I can't think of the word.
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  Speaker 4: Intuitive.
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  Speaker 1: They're not intuitive enough to know what you need. And
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: you go, oh, that nappy.
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  Speaker 3: Yep.
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  Speaker 1: That what? But we were saying that maybe the three
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  Speaker 1: of us could all buy a huge house together, like,
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  Speaker 1: you know, put all our money together, get a place
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  Speaker 1: on the Esplanade. I don't know if we could afford that.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe just a simple house in the Burbs. And we
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  Speaker 1: could all live together and help each other out. This
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  Speaker 1: is giving me flashbacks to Sophie trying to beg me
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  Speaker 1: and lure me over to her house because Brandon's going
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  Speaker 1: away for two nights. She's like, please, it'll be so
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  Speaker 1: much fun. I'm like, yeah, but I have my husband
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  Speaker 1: home those days. I'm going to have help those days.
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  Speaker 1: I was having a bit of a slumber party. I'm offended.
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  Speaker 1: I live like five minutes away and I haven't been
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  Speaker 1: invited over. I just assumed you wouldn't want to come. See,
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  Speaker 1: I remember when you guys were pregnant because you gave
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  Speaker 1: birth within nine weeks of each other. I was like,
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  Speaker 1: oh my God, would you breastfeed each other's children? That
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  Speaker 1: would be so convenient. And, you know, living in the
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  Speaker 1: same house when you had the two newborns would have
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  Speaker 1: been great because you could have like tag teamed. The
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  Speaker 1: couples could have been like, oh, I'll get up with
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  Speaker 1: both of them. I actually think nine weeks, even though
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like much, it's almost too big of
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  Speaker 1: a gap. No, I think it's, I mean, they're still
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: not sleeping through the night. I'd actually love to hear
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: though from lesbian couples. Is it easier? Like do the
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  Speaker 1: women both just get it? I remember listening to this
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  Speaker 1: interview on No Filter and they interviewed, I think she
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: was an author and she was, in like this throuple
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  Speaker 1: relationship with these two older women and basically she had
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  Speaker 1: a child and they all brought the child up together
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  Speaker 1: as part of this little mini village in itself and
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  Speaker 1: they were saying, I don't know how you do it
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  Speaker 1: with a man. Yeah, I've never been interested. Or just
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: two people. I've never been interested in being in a
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: polygamous relationship but that's the only sort of positive I
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: can see is another set of hands. Well, they said
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  Speaker 1: it was great because they could each go on little
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: dates just like two of them can go on a
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  Speaker 1: date whilst one after the child i think realistically the
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  Speaker 1: only way it would actually work is if you were
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: willing to open your relationship up and include another woman
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: oh yeah you don't need another man and who's confused
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: about what's going on or what to do like two
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  Speaker 1: men might make it worse yeah So I want the
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  Speaker 1: mum's group to settle a debate for me. So ever
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: since my child was born, he has been wearing grow suits.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I am confused. I thought they're called onesies because I
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: heard our mum say grow suits, but I reckon grow
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: suits is like a 90s sort of term. I think
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: we all know what they are.
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  Speaker 5: They're the zip up suits. I mean, that wasn't actually
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: the debate. So basically, when I go out to the shops,
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: Harry wears one of these suits. When I go out
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: to sensory class, he wears one of these. And When
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: I went to the sensory class for the first time,
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: I noticed that a lot of people brought their kids
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  Speaker 5: in like full-on outfits.
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  Speaker 1: And I was like, geez, that would have taken a
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: long time because anytime I'd put something over Harry's head,
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  Speaker 1: he'd lose it. Or they'd just piss in their nice outfit.
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And then I saw a TikTok of someone saying that
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: apparently the grow suits are considered pyjamas and that it's
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: embarrassing to take your kids out in their pyjamas. My
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: kid goes out in his pyjamas every single day of
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  Speaker 1: his life then. I personally think it depends on how
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: old the kid is because now that Jack is approaching two,
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  Speaker 1: we will put the grow suit on him when he
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: goes to bed. So he does wear them as pyjamas.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: But I don't think I really dress Jack in anything
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: other than grow suits until he was probably... 10 months old.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Side note, when do you stop saying how many months
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: they are? Because you're like, am I 20 months old?
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  Speaker 1: Because there's a real difference. I always thought people were
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: being wankers, but there's a massive difference between like, have
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: you seen this? A 21 month and a 21 and
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  Speaker 1: a half. Have you seen those TikToks of the rapid
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: growth between one and two? Yeah, I have. Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 1: I remember seeing that when Jack was approaching one and
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: feeling like crying. I think it just depends where you're
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: taking your baby. If you're going to the supermarket or
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: just a cafe just popping out. A grocery is fine.
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  Speaker 1: But if you're going to like a nice family event,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: something like that, maybe put him in a little outfit. Yeah,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I notice every time you go out with your in-laws
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: and your sister-in-law that Luca is always dressed in country road.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: But we never see him in the country road outfit.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: We just get the onesies. We just get the pyjamas. Well,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: it's because her son wears a lot of clothes. Country Roads.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Sophie is not sponsored by Country Roads. I think we
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: need to take this to the mum's group though. Please
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: go to our Facebook group and tell us, are they
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: pyjamas or are they actually outfits? Can I also interject?
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: It's also because my husband, when he's seeing his family,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: he's like, should we put him in a cute little outfit?
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It's actually not me. It's him. I have just another
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: thought about the grow suits before we wrap things up.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I suppose it makes sense because all babies do when
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: they're probably like, I don't know, under three months old.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: is sleep. And I don't mean to trigger people because
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of people's babies don't actually sleep
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: when they want them to, but they're supposed to be
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: sleeping all the time. Also, I reckon when it comes
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: to the outfits though, the older your child gets, the
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: more you realize that they're not going to fit in
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: that said country road item for a very long time.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So you're like, oh my God, let's just get some
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: wear out of it. Oh, the cost per wear on
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: that stuff is dreadful. Let's talk about baby names because
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I recently read an article about how some couples are
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: spending up to $ 10, 000 to get a professional baby namer
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: in to name their child. What are your credentials for
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: being a professional baby namer? Well, a lot of them
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: just have a lot of followers on TikTok. But isn't
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: it based on personal taste? I mean, that's why it's
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: such a tricky decision to make. Like, do you actually
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: give them the vibe that you want when they come back?
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: So apparently you sit down for a five-hour meeting with
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: the baby. Five hours. Yeah, and you go through, you know, dislikes.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: There is a cheaper option. So for as little as $ 200,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: you can get the baby namer to send you through
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: an email and it includes a list of suggested names
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: and you just have to fill out a survey. Oh,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: for $ 200? Yeah. That's ridiculous. I wouldn't, sorry, like you
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: can look online or top baby name. Well, for the
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: $ 10, 000 package, that's the VIP package. And you actually get
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: a think tank of people who will sit around and
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: try and come with names. You get a genealogist who
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: will go through your family tree to find if there's
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: any cute names from relatives that you might like to use.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: This is just lazy. Isn't this one of the fun
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: parts of having a child? You know, we always talk
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: about how you've got your notes section of the names
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: that you like. Is this basically so you can railroad
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: your husband into having the name that you want? You're like, well,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: this professional baby name person has said that we should
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: go with this. Also... chat gpt surely isn't chat gpt
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: stealing these people's jobs yeah well influencer tilly whitfield she
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: actually used chat gpt to come up with her baby's
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: name so she called him western and a lot of
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: people were like oh my god that's an amazing name
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: like how did you come up with it and she
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: said well we put all these names into chat gpt
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: that we liked the vibe of like i think they
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: had like dusty and that sort of thing and it
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: came up with western and they loved it that's for
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: free I'm just like, in this cost of living crisis,
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: who has $ 10, 000 lying around for a name expert? It's
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: got to be celebrities and influencers.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: Surely.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Well, they are the people that see the opportunity to
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: name a baby as their own personal branding exercise. It
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: used to just be the celebrities who had these crazy names.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I think about Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple Martin. And then
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: it's trickled down to influencers. And now it's infiltrating normal people.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: So they all think, oh, I'm special. I have to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: have this very unique name. And that's why they would
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: be spending the money. But what about Nara Smith? I
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: need to read these names out for you. So she's
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: got a rumble honey. It makes me hungry. A slim easy,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a whimsy Lou and fawny golden. Maybe she should become
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: a baby name, but that could be a way to
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: get a quick buck on TikTok. Well, she threw everyone
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: a bone by announcing the names that she really loved,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: but didn't end up using. Let's take a listen.
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: So for boys' names, I love the name Denim, Dice,
• 15:45
  Speaker 6: which would also be really cute.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Twin boy names.
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: Silver, Gray, Walker, and obviously Lucky, but that's my husband's name,
• 15:54
  Speaker 6: so I might be a little biased with that.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: My girls' list is a little longer. I love the
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: name Lace, Ruffle. Flora.
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: Wonder.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I love the name Dainty. Meadow. Rebin is really cute.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: And I love a good Dr. Seuss book. So I
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: also really like the name Sola. Whisper. Lilac. I love
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: the name Bunny as a first name. And then Melon
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: as a second name.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Look, majority of these names are the names of objects.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Like what is happening here? I don't want to say
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: that this is child abuse, but I think there's going
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: to be a lot of kids when they're 20 applying
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: for jobs that cursing their parents being like, why did
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: you give me such a weird name? What about in
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: the classroom? I feel sorry for all the teachers that
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: are having to remember all these weird names like Dice,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Bunny Melon, put that down. Is this why parents are
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: getting the naming experts on board? So if their kids
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: have a problem later in life, they can say, look,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: we paid someone money. They came up with the idea.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: It wasn't us. I'm already preempting the mothers of Denim
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: and Dice hitting us up in the reviews and leaving
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: a bad one. But I just think, you know, I'm
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: all for original names. Whatever you want to do. But
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: when it is... verging on being a bit ridiculous and
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: your child is going to cop it for the rest
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: of their life. I think it's a bit unfair. I
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: find solace knowing it's not only us that thinks these
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: names are ridiculous though, because there was this UK comedian
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: who took the absolute piss out of Nara Smith. Let's
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: take a listen.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Some baby names that I love, but won't be using
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: this time round. And for reference, our kids have pretty
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: unique names. Our oldest is called the gaping willow. We
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: have a 36 month old called creamy pesto and our
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: youngest who's two months old, is called Squiby. Two names
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: I think give off the same energy and I really love,
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: but we won't use, is Sage Nipple and the Discharge Pixie,
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: but I just think there are better options out there
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: for us. I really love the name Chartina, and I
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: thought the name Chartina Messy-Botty would be really cute, but
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: my husband said it's overdone, so we couldn't go with that.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: I love the names Mildew and Mold, but I just
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: don't think I'm gonna be having twins anytime soon. Another
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: name I really love is Placenta Thundercloud, but again, It's
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: too similar to one of our children, Fuck Do Thunder Twat.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: And the last two we won't be going for is
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: Glovebox and Flower Milk. Let me know what you thought
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: of those names, guys. And let me know if you
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: have any uniquely named children down in the comments.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: The ironic thing is a lot of people think for
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: so long, oh my God, I need the first name
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and the middle name to really flow. But as an adult,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: you never get referred to by your first and middle name. Well,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: to be fair though, since social media has come on
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: board and some people want to have a bit of anonymity,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: they often use their first a middle name, particularly if
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: you're like a teacher or a police officer. So they
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: do hold a little bit more significance now. You know what,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: maybe I'm just spewing because my middle name's Jane and
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: apparently that and Marie are the most millennial middle names.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Like literally everyone has that middle name. I think the
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: reason that you're a bit funny about middle names is
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: that the middle name that you chose for your son
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: caused a bit of controversy. Yeah, I think this is
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the first time I've spoken about this publicly. I know
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: that our dad won't listen to our mum's group podcast,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: so I think I'm fine. Still yet to listen to
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: an episode about Spoken eight years in. He was very
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: upset because my sister-in-law, she called her son after her dad, James,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: but everyone calls him Jimmy. So no one actually refers
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: to him as James. Anyway, so he heard about this
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: and even though my son is the third son, his
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: third grandchild, and none of you guys have used his
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: name at all, for some reason I think he was
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: really holding out hope that I was going to use
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: his name for the middle name, use a family name.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: And I did get wind, I think a week before
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I was about to give birth that maybe there was
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: a bit of unhappiness about it, particularly because Brandon and
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I had agreed that we were going to call our
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: son or his middle name Archie after our dog. Not
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: even particular. That was the whole reason dad was upset
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: because he felt like he was ranked beneath your dog.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Can I just explain? I was actually that close to saying, okay,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: we will do Hugh as the middle name, but then
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: my husband wanted his dad as the middle name too.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: So it would have to be Hugh James. And I thought,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want him to have two middle names. Also,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: my husband's last name is Hancock. And for his whole life,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: his parents did him the injustice of calling him Brandon
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: James Hancock. So BJ Cock basically is his name. And
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: we said, when we're coming up with our son's name,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: we've got to be really careful. So if we had gone,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: which we would have had to do, Hugh first instead
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: of James because we thought, oh, dad might be funny
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: about that. It would have been H.J. Sorry, it would
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: have been Luca H.J. Hancock. So Luca Hanjob Hancock. Maybe
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: you should have just gone with a different last name.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: That seems to be the issue. That would have been nice.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe I should have just done middle name Torba. That
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: would have made dad happy. It's a real millennial thing though,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: to name your child after your dog. Like I've seen
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: a lot of people doing that with the middle names.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I got the idea from a friend who she has
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Archie's brother and she was going to give her son
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: the middle name Winston after their dog. I thought it was,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: as soon as I heard her say that, I said
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: to Brandon, this was years ago. I said, we've got
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to do that. So it's her fault. Actually, I caught
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: up with her and she ended up calling her son
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: ironically after her father or father-in-law, the middle name. And
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: as soon as she saw that I'd gone with Archie,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: she was like, oh my God, I said to my husband,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: we're going to go and change his name legally to Winston.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: But I mean, to be honest, I do feel quite
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: bad about it. Last thing I want to do is
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: upset my dad. And I really love the name Hugh
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: as well. Someone's just going to have to have another boy. See,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I actually really like the name Hugh. But then I
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: was like, I quite like the name Hugo if I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: was to have another boy. These are names that I
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: didn't use that I really like. Let's get into our recommendations.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm coming to you guys with a TikTok couple
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: you need to follow. The names are Ashton and Ryan,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: and they're this US couple with around 95,000 followers. Is
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: he the guy that wears that pink headband?
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: So he pretends to be his postpartum wife and he
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: is absolutely hilarious. He was always like, I just want
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: my Coke Zero and to sit down and watch Dancing
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: with the Stars. Is that too much to ask for?
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: He nails it every time. I send those videos to
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: my husband all the time. They're hilarious. I just don't
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: want the dogs touching me. Can't relate to that bit.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I've got a recommendation for toddler mums who are looking
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: to keep their children occupied for at least 15 minutes.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Buy pom-poms and a sticker book with reusable stickers. I
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: have found those two things life-changing at the moment. So
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: The pom-poms, you do have to watch them when they're
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: playing with them because they can put them in their mouth.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: But oh my God, there's so many different things. You
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: can be like, oh, pick out all of the purple ones.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Or can you move the pom-poms into this cup into
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: the other one or pour them in? My son's got
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: a little play kitchen, so he cooks with them. And
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: they're only like $ 3 for a little bag of them.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And he also got these bluey reusable stickers. Oh, they're
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: so good because he just loves peeling stickers off. And
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: It made me feel so nostalgic. I think we used
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: to have them growing up. Not bluey ones.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Bluey wasn't a thing then, but other reusable ones. It
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: unlocks some core memory of mine. Yeah, I saw a
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: lady on TikTok. She was talking about this hack where
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: you get lunchbox, like the plastic bags, the zip-up ones,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: and she was putting like pasta in them and you
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: tape them to the baby's high chair. There's all these
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: really cool things that you could do with them. I
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: have a recommendation for pregnant women and it is to
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: splurge on the baby mobile. It might sound silly because
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: it's not the most useful nursery item, but I think
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: it is one way to really customize your nursery. So
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I found a brand called Romy and Me on Instagram
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and I sent a photo through of my dog. There's
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: a bit of a running theme throughout this episode. But
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: so they made a little cocker spaniel that goes on
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: the mobile with hot air balloons and stars. It is
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: so cute. I was so jealous when I saw it
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: because I was tossing up whether to get one of
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: my dog Shadow and Sonny. And I was like, oh,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: they're a little bit pricey. It is expensive, but because
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: my room was so beige and neutral, I felt like
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I needed something that had a bit of a pop
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: of color and that was a bit more childlike. So
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: that's probably one of my favorite pieces in the nursery.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I second buying one of these because I saw them online.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, they're ridiculously expensive. I'm just going
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: to make my own. Well, I did make my own.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: It took hours and hours and hours. And I was like,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I can see why they're so expensive. Well, they're about $ 200.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: But then when you actually look up even your stock
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: standard one and they're quite expensive. So the fact that
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: you can customize. Yeah. Probably something good to put on
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: your baby shower registry. People could all go in together. Well,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: that is it for the Mums Group this week. We
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: would love if you've got time if you could leave
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: us a five-star review. And don't forget to follow the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Mums group on TikTok and on Instagram. You can also
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: follow Sophie, Kate and I on there. All of the
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: details will be in the show notes below. And make
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: sure you recommend this episode to a mum friend. And
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: take a photo of where you're listening to us from,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: whether you're on your hot mum walk or out at
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: a cafe. We would love to see where you're listening from.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: This podcast was recorded on the traditional land of the
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains. We pay respect to
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: elders past and present. Thank you to our launch partner,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Minnie and me, and their delicious mama bites for making
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: this episode possible.