Latest / Frankie and Johnny: The Conversations We Never Had / I'd Never Thought I'd Have A Son

Transcript

I'd Never Thought I'd Have A Son · Frankie and Johnny: The Conversations We Never Had

0:08
SPEAKER_01: This is Frankie.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: And this is Johnny.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: And thank you for joining us at the first episode of Frankie and Johnny, the conversations we never had.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: So today's season one, episode one, senior year.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: Johnny's in high school.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: We had a little bit of a hiccup a little bit ago.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: You want to share kind of like what happened?
0:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, uh, so the cameraman over here.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: Um I when you press record on the on the camera, I didn't know it zoomed in.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: So we're on the regular photo and it looked fine.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: So I pressed record and my dad and I's face got cut off.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: So it's just gonna be uh audio only with this little intro here, uh, just to tell you guys why.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: But the next MAPS episode we'll we'll we'll be ready and you'll be able to see us live.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking uh account.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: That was funny.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: The cameraman over here.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, and my son was like, hey, maybe we gotta redo it.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, there's no way.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: There's so much rawness, realness.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: Um and the model's real, raw, and vulnerable, and we're gonna bring that every single time.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: And you can't recreate that.
1:25
SPEAKER_01: Then it it just becomes, you know, it's not real.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: It becomes TV.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh so we wanted to make sure we brought that to you.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: So you'll be listening to the audio, probably have this picture or some set to have a picture in the forefront.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: But you wanna you wanna listen in because there's so much, I think, uh, things that can be learned as as parents and and and as young people to hear both both avenues.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: And wow, I was unprepared for what came out there.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Comment below whatever questions you have, stay anonymous if you want.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: Uh and every week, the last five minutes, what we're gonna do, we're gonna wrap up uh the segment and some of the questions that that you have.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: Whether if I can answer them, if you can answer them, we're in this together.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, not just us, all of us.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: Um, so we can have those those difficult talks.
2:22
SPEAKER_01: Frankie.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: And Johnny, enjoy, guys.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: So this is Frankie.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: And this is Johnny.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: And welcome to season one, episode one, senior year.
2:36
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we decided to do this, or first, uh, truthfully, I I decided to do this.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: I just well, I didn't decide.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: I uh came up with the idea to do this, and you know, I was hopeful that my son would would come on this journey with me because I realized we've never had the opportunity and we've never been more connected uh um in the history of the world, yet more disconnected from the people.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm getting emotional already, right next to us.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, there's so much that social media has brought into this world, yet at the same time, it's also um taken away our attention from the things that matter most, which are the people right next to us.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: So and we forgot to start the timer, so we'll explain that at some point later.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, we're going through this journey um with us is uh first time, so some bumps, bruises, and and hiccups along the way, and and my model's always been real, raw, and vulnerable and vulnerable.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: And uh so here we are.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, we got it going now.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: So, Johnny, um, you know, everyone, every time I take my son to a lot of events and and uh taken him put himself into some really uh I don't know, you tell me like what's that been like for you, some of the events, some and tell the audience, some of the people that you surrounded yourself.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: How what has that felt like for you?
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm young, I'm usually with the youngest one in the room.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: So I would say it's a little bit nerve-wracking sometimes.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's honestly I I take it as like I'm very grateful for it because I mean not a lot of young kids get to learn like the stuff that I've been like learning, and going to those events really teaches me a lot about like honestly everything, communication, relationships, how to network, um, how to build a business.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: It teaches me a lot and and I'm grateful for it.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: We never really had some of this discussion.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm curious later to go deeper on that.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: And why did you why did you say yes to to doing this?
5:02
SPEAKER_01: Because like like as as you know, and I want you to share a little bit with the audience about a lot of these events, like we'll go, we'll meet people, and then immediately who do they want to talk to?
5:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, so I mean I said yes to this because honestly, my dad was telling me, like, oh, I want to start a podcast and stuff, and I was like, you know, that would be cool.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: Uh there's there's really not any uh podcasts of like father-sons in the in the world.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: So I thought we us starting one would be cool.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it also like teach the young kids out there and everyone out there to like open up to people and to like if they're going through hard times, you know, they could watch this podcast and like give them like a sense of joy and stuff.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for saying yes.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh this is awesome.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: And and as you can see, it's Frankie and Johnny, the conversations we never had.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: Now, the the got so much to talk about.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: I want to talk to them after this, which is which is great.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, so the idea with the conversations we never had was really there's so many things that most of us as parents um we wish we would have been able to say maybe to to our parents.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: Or we go back in time and it's like, man, I I I wish I would have said this, or I wish I would have done this, or I wish I I knew what my son or daughter is thinking.
6:38
SPEAKER_01: And and so like we're like, you know what, let's let's put a safe place where we can have these conversations live on air.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: Some of the things that struggles that I've had, some of the challenges that he's had, I realize that this is gonna be really emotional and uh for me because I it seems like in this container uh it it's we're building a safe place where we can have these real conversations, these open conversations.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's really, you know, one of my uh a friend, somebody I I I I've I've grown, uh I've gotten to know and and and and grown with uh she's a big influencer, Jen Gottlieb.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: She uses the HOPE acronym uh Help One Person Every Day.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think that that I admire you, son.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'm so grateful because you have no idea how many young people, older people of all generations, you're going to be helping by you having the courage, the heart, and the conviction to do this.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: So I I'm I'm uh thank you.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm super grateful.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: Um so uh what do you hope to piggyback off of the hope every listener can get um from our episode every every week?
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, so I hope every listener, you know, like I said before, kids could go watch this and you know give them a sense of I guess hope and joy.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: Um for the adults out there that are watching.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think you guys could like piggyback off of this by you know talking to your kids, like it says here, the conversations we never had.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you want to like not have the conversations because they're too hard or they're uncomfortable, but I mean at the end of the day they're your kids, and you just sometimes you have to you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable in having conversations with the people that you love most.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Can okay, wow, that that was that was good to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: Um so can you can you share a little bit about what a conversation like that that you know what what that may have felt for you and and even going back to where you said in in the rooms that you've gone to, some of the events that you've gone to that it was nerve-wracking, uh can you share or can you think of a moment where you were really uncomfortable and yet and what did you do with it like between us two or with other people?
9:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, let's since we mentioned the event, let's start with the event and then we can go to to to the part of other people.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: And then yeah, let's start with that.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so um let's see.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh actually at uh events called Epic Talks.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: Um I think her name's Melissa, right?
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Melissa, Melissa, yeah.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: Shout out to you, Melissa, right now.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh she runs the Epic Talks events and a lot of them in Miami and stuff, and it's just a group of people that get together to network and stuff.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh, there was one time my dad was talking to somebody, and I was just sitting there just watching, kind of awkward.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh so I bumped into this guy actually that and we started talking about like DJing and stuff, and you know, I was uncomfortable in the beginning because I didn't know really what to how to start the conversation and stuff.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: So just introduced myself and had a conversation with him about music and stuff, and he told me that he was uh an event uh producer, so he would run I mean uh corpor like an event uh organizer, so he would run like events and big events, uh venues and stuff, and he was like, Oh, if I have another DJ, like I'll I'll hit you up and stuff, and I was like, that sounds awesome.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: So it's just stuff like that.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I get more gigs like that, and yeah, it was it was uh a plus for me for sure.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and how did you what did you realize like when you were awkward?
10:48
SPEAKER_01: And that's a shout out to you, Kyle.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: Shout out to you.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Uh so what was it how did it shift for you?
10:55
SPEAKER_01: Like you you said you were feeling uh I the way I I heard was like nerve-wracking, nervous, and then because you were by yourself, like what shifted in you that yeah, so I mean there's a you get comfortable when there's like a connection between two people.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: So once you form like that connection, like you know, he's an event um organizer, and I'm a DJ, so like obviously we're kind of in the same space sometimes, and that just got me more comfortable like talking to someone that knows like what a DJ does, and and it just builds that connection or that bond that I mean it's just a good connection.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: No, that's great.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm so I'm so I love what you just said because that brings me to like we're so wired as people for connection, and no matter what, we we cannot get that from a device, from scrolling, from watching TV.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, oftentimes, even like when we're watching television, like you have a family watching television and they're scrolling, and no one's present anymore.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: Like the idea and the goal of of this is having these conversations, sharing openly, connecting, like that that was awesome, so that then the goal is you go home, those people around you like time is a limited resource.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: It's we only have so much time, you can't get it back once it's gone, and you will never, ever, ever regret that you spent too much time with the people who you love most.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: You will absolutely regret that you spent too much time scrolling, working, doing anything and everything, but being present with what really matters in your life.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: Um so thank you for that, son.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: Uh now in reference to uncomfortable conversations between a father and and and let's say a son, or like in your end, like a son, like what's a moment that you would say that it was hard for you to talk to me or or something that you you you you didn't want to have, like the the conversation, like and maybe you haven't even had it yet.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: Be careful what you wish for, huh?
13:36
SPEAKER_01: Um can you share something about that?
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, um definitely uh Captiva in when was that 2016?
13:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh I think it was 2007.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: 2018, actually, 2018.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, 2018.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: Uh my dad was sober for I think like six months or a year, and then uh he relapsed in Captiva.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: We were on vacation, me, him, my sister, and we're having a great time.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: And then one night we were at the pool, he was barbecuing, and then uh he's he basically told himself, he told me this story after that uh he didn't think one drink would hurt, but after that one drink came another and another and another, and I had to tell him, you know, I saw him acting a little bit weird, and obviously growing up, like I knew what it was when he got to that point.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: I I I don't I just want to share, because some of the audience, like, they may not know the backstory, and I I'll give a full wow.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, I want to keep going.
14:44
SPEAKER_01: I just I want to give them a description, like we'll share the whole story.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh we'll drop it in another episode.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, the whole story of what he's lived through.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: But what he's trying to share a little bit is uh I've been battling out I I battled alcoholism for a bit, so he's tapping into I was sober at the time for six months or what have you, and this is the experience that he had that he's sharing right now.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so uh I told him, I was like, What happened, like, what are you doing?
15:12
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, What do you mean?
15:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Why are you drinking?
15:16
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, What do you mean?
15:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm not drinking.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yes, you are, I could see it like in your eyes.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Um, I don't know like the exact words he said that day, but it was something like, 'I'm sorry, I thought I would be fine,' or something like that.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: And me and my sister got out of the pool, dried up, he was still grilling.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: And I don't even know if he remembers this, but we went back to the room, we took a shower, and we were just gonna go to sleep.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: And he comes back from grilling, and we're in the like the room of the hotel, and he comes back into the hotel and starts going on a on a on a rampage, I will have you.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, I don't remember what he said, but he said a bunch of stuff, and he got all mad, and uh my sister, I don't think I had a phone at the time.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: My sister called my mom.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, mind you, Captive was like three and a half hours away from Miami.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Uh and then my sister also called uh the cops because she didn't feel comfortable.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: And my mom came over here, picked us up with my grandpa, and I think that's when he realized he had to stop for a while, so yeah.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: Woo conversations were never had.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, wow, I I didn't anticipate this heavy load on episode one.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: So uh sorry, son I'm so sorry.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: What about you your sister your mom's wife?
17:17
SPEAKER_01: Can you please forgive me?
17:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've forgiven you.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, uh we can go on for for a while on this.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: Um shame.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: Shame makes prisoners of of us, stops us from so much.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: We have a lot uh a lot of episodes to talk about uh addiction, coping methods and alcohol and drugs and and everything.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know I knew a lot about that day.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know the scope of of everything that you just shared.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm a little overwhelmed uh with emotion right now.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: What I can say is this a lot of times we tell people that we care about, or even if we don't care about, um sorry.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: And then we expect to be forgiven.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: But that's not the way it works.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Somebody can forgive you.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: And here's something I learned from um Gary Chet Chapman uh from the five love languages.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: Incredible human being.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: When you say I'm sorry, he actually this is from the five apology languages.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: Can you please forgive me?
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Because instead of saying sorry and expect to be forgiven, you're giving the person the option to choose to forgive you.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: And you give them the power to do so or not.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: Try that in your next conversations with the people around you.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I was talking to um a while back, I was talking to someone and uh close to me, and they said, uh, Frankie, you've been an awesome father.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: You've been an incredible father.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: That's one thing you've done been great.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, thank you.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: And I've also been a terrible one.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what?
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you can be a great parent and a terrible parent.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: We all make mistakes, we all make do things in our moments, uh, some people more than most here.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Um but no matter how great we are, there's moments where we're not so great.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to step into that and own that because we can't become better human beings unless we're willing to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize what's our north?
20:11
SPEAKER_01: Who is the person that we want to become?
20:16
SPEAKER_01: Because once if you stop and say, Well, this is how I am, then you stop growing, you might as well just, you know, stop.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: Your life just stopped right there.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: We should never get complacent in any avenue in life with our children, with ourselves, with our partners, with our business, work.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: If you're a sports, we love sports, uh sports analogy, like every year you win the Super Bowl in football, like Tom Brady didn't show up the next year hanging on what he did the year before.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: No.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: But just like sports, it's pushing yourself to the level of shout out to Don Miguel Ruiz, the four agreements, agreement, always do your best.
21:07
SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're here, you know.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: Like um, for you young ones who are who are listening right now.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what your situation is at home with your parents, if you have a mom or a dad, or if they're not here.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Um most people do the best they can with what they know.
21:32
SPEAKER_01: And if they're not doing so great, it's not about you.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: It's about something inside of them.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: It's about some pain, some hardship, some resentment, some anger.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: It has nothing to do with you.
21:50
SPEAKER_01: Have some compassion.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: Have some empathy, have some grace.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: So uh we got a timer here.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: I think I'm gonna have to get another timer because the idea here is 28-minute segments.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: Uh the reason is the average commute to work is 28 minutes long, and we gotta figure something out.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: So, like this is like the countdown, and then and but I gotta put one up there because I'm not gonna we're not gonna keep looking over here and going back.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh so um never be satisfied with where you are, never be complacent.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: We can always be better.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Now, I uh I'm gonna share something that I've never said, I don't think, to anyone before.
22:51
SPEAKER_01: I uh I never I never thought I was gonna have a son.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: For some reason, I thought I was gonna have two daughters.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: I have one daughter I love very much.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: We don't have the relationship that I want right now, and that's conversation for another time, but she dealt with a lot of pain.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: Um I take my accountability for it.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: Now, uh, but I never thought I was gonna have a son, and I'll never forget the day when we went to the the doctor's office sonogram, and and like it's a boy.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, are you sure?
23:35
SPEAKER_01: She's like, well, yeah, I mean, girls don't come with this thing here, and uh and it was this watershed of emotions because I never not only did I never think I was gonna have a son, I think that was a part of me subconsciously, that was afraid of having a son because I wasn't proud of the man that I was and I didn't want my son to turn out to the man who I was at that moment.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: Did you know that?
24:18
SPEAKER_01: No conversations we never had how does that uh make you feel like what what do you feel when you hear that I heard that?
24:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean why did you why were you shedding emotions?
24:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry?
24:48
SPEAKER_00: Why were you shedding emotions?
24:50
SPEAKER_01: No?
24:50
SPEAKER_00: No, uh, on that day.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, because I was excited, scared, frightened.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: I don't want him to be like me.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, I do know this, uh ever since I mean I was small, my dad always told me, and we actually had this conversation not too long ago again.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's been consistently kind of just drilled in me, like get the best of my both my parents and be the best version of myself.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I mean he's been a great dad.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: He's had his ups and downs, obviously, but I mean I love him, and I think that he's he's always told me just become the best version of of and be better than me.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: Because that he just wants the best for for both me and my sister.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: So I mean growing up he's always just said be better than me, just be better than me.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, yeah.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, son.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Um geez, I hit the lotto.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: I hit the lotto here.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: A lot of times I hear so often, well, like, well, this is how this is who I am, or this is what I learned growing up, my parents, or you don't want your kids to be like you.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: No matter how great you are, we shall want our kids to be better than us.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: We don't have all the answers.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: We never will.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: But if we want our kids, if we're satisfied with them being who we are, then I find that to be extremely selfish.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: Um I um I I appreciate you you saying that that um what I what I understood was that like that was embedded in you and instilled in you.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: Um there's a lot of things that I know that I've been, you know, great at.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of things that I haven't been so great.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: And parents, this is really, really, really, really important.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: Men, this is super important.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: But tears isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of showing my emotion and my feelings, and that's not me trying to minimize my feelings.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: This is love.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: These tears are out of love.
27:35
SPEAKER_01: These tears are of absolute love for for not just my son, but also because I know not just what I put him through, but with how many people that are listening right now, whether you're a teen, whether you're young, whether you're 40, 50, 60, 70, whatever experience you had growing up and you internalized it and you suppressed it.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: You know, as a man, you're told, oh no, you're not supposed to feel this, you're not supposed to cry, you're supposed to stuff it.
28:08
SPEAKER_01: And then we show up as anger.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: But whatever you felt was real.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: Because we're not born all that different.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: We all feel the same emotions, but we were wrongly taught to keep them inside.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: Have those hard conversations with your children.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: Tell them how am I showing up for you?
28:35
SPEAKER_01: And as you say that, and we're getting close to wrapping this up.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, remind me of what I just said in case I missed that, in case I forget this part.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, but what we're gonna be doing, uh send your questions in.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: Questions that you may have for me, for for my for Johnny.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: And if there's something, uh if you want to stay anonymous, stay anonymous.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: We won't mention your name, but we want to make it a point uh on air, we want to answer like some of the questions, wrap up the last five minutes with questions that the audience sends in, and we'll try and answer it as best we can.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: Challenges that you had as a parent, as maybe you did something wrong, or how to talk to your kid uh or your son, daughter.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, and the same thing, if you're young and you want to talk to your dad or you're feeling something, listen, we're we're figuring this out as we're we're coming along.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: We don't have all the answers.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: Um we're here to build this together so that we can have um the conversations that most of us never had.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: And as I say that, I know I was gonna forget where I was gonna go.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: What was it?
29:43
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to say that.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you were talking about men's emotions and stuff uh that we're taught wrongly.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're taught wrongly to to to suppress the the the these feelings that are innately ours.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: And all we want as people is to really like be seen for who we really are, and we're afraid that if we show a certain version of us, it's wrong.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Like boy and girl get on a bike, they fall off, the girl falls off.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, honey, are you okay?
30:17
SPEAKER_01: The boy falls off, hey, suck it up.
30:20
SPEAKER_01: Those emotions were real, whatever pain was real.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: Let's embrace that side.
30:26
SPEAKER_01: We're here to show up as men, as a defenders, as a protectors, as leaders, but also with compassion, with empathy, and with love for one another.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: Um so you got anything you want to share in?
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh not really.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: I agree with what what you said about, I mean, yeah, men, there's a lot of men that don't show emotion because emotion because they think they're all macho men and and tough and stuff, but they I feel like most men, I mean, me, I mean obviously my daddy, we show we show a good amount of emotion, but I'm not saying I mean it's you have to show emotion, but if there's something that's hurting you or something, uh you gotta open up to it.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: You can't just stuff everything inside, like he said.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I definitely agree with that.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: And channel that emotion for what what's driving you to push it down.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, just like what happens with everything that you stuff down, it stays inside.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: It stays inside.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: When you're sick, what happens when you got a runny nose?
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Everything's got to come out.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: The same thing is with our feelings.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: Like when we have people in our lives that people maybe that are challenging us, how does it feel when you you're stuffing that?
31:40
SPEAKER_01: You're stuffing.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: I know we're getting we're getting close to a close.
31:42
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
31:42
SPEAKER_01: He's typing my foot there.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: That's pretty good.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: Don't start looking at the foot now, by the way.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, but the more we suppress, the more sooner or later comes a moment when there's a blow-up.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: And it's never about that particular moment.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: But the person beside you may think it is.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: Share what you feel, have the conversations we never had.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Frankie and Johnny.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: See you guys next time.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for watching.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: Appreciate it.