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10: Becoming Curious · Finding God at Work

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  (Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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  This is Finding God at Work.
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  Our current series is Gentle Witnesses, sharing the
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  good news at work in a way that
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  actually makes sense.
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  And we're going through what's called the Five
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  Thresholds, a paradigm from InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and
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  a couple evangelists named Doug, Shaupe, and Don
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  Everts.
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  And today, we get to the second of
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  the five thresholds, Becoming Curious.
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  So in the last couple episodes, we talked
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  about the first threshold, trusting a Christian friend.
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  The next step that people often take on
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  a journey towards faith in Jesus is Becoming
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  Curious.
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  But Becoming Curious does not automatically follow from
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  trusting a Christian friend.
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  So Doug and Don lay it out like
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  this in their book, I Once Was Lost.
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  Just because someone trusts you, it doesn't necessarily
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  follow that they are super curious about Jesus.
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  In fact, many non-Christians are content to
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  have a Christian friend or two, but never
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  get any closer to the kingdom.
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  After coming to trust a Christian, they face
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  a whole new threshold.
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  The process of moving from complacent about Jesus
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  to curious about him is the second major
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  threshold our friends have told us they went
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  through on their way to faith.
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  To go from being complacent about spiritual things
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  to being intrigued is a natural process.
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  Our souls and our minds are built by
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  God to be curious, to ask questions until
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  we have landed upon satisfying answers.
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  So this move from complacent to curious isn't
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  easy.
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  Complacency is easier, of course.
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  But it taps into a desire and need
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  that is wired into all people.
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  Before crossing the threshold, our lost friends may
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  seem apathetic.
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  Most folks don't go from being spiritually complacent
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  to bursting with curiosity overnight.
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  Curiosity tends to blossom over time.
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  So this is something that I found true
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  in my own relationships with people from all
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  different religious backgrounds.
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  People are not necessarily antagonistic towards Christians.
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  We talked about how some people will have
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  a knee-jerk reaction of distrust towards Christians.
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  But even if they don't, if they're not
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  necessarily antagonistic or distrustful, that doesn't mean that
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  they have a passionate interest in Christianity or
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  an intense curiosity about the person of Jesus.
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  A lot of people are just kind of
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  like doing life, moving along.
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  They might have some awareness of Jesus.
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  They might have some Christian friends.
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  They might even have some Christian background themselves.
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  But it's just not a big question.
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  It's not their driving concern at any given
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  moment.
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  So the question is, how can we come
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  alongside people and help gently provoke curiosity?
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  Okay, now, I want to be nuanced here.
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  We could get anxious.
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  We could think, oh my gosh, I've got
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  to somehow make all my friends curious about
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  Jesus.
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  What can I do?
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  And we can tie ourselves up in knots.
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  And again, remember, anxiety does not come from
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  Jesus.
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  Jesus is teaching Matthew 6.34, do not
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  be anxious about anything.
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  Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow
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  will be anxious for itself.
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  Each day has enough trouble of its own.
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  If you're feeling a lot of anxiety about
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  sharing the good news, that's not coming from
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  the Lord.
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  That's not the right paradigm for it.
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  And we see this in Jesus's own approach
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  to people who wanted to become his followers
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  in the Gospels.
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  Jesus was not anxious to have more followers.
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  Sometimes he would even turn people away.
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  So, we see this, for example, in the
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  Gospel of Luke, chapter 9 and verse 57.
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  As they were going along the road, someone
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  said to Jesus, I will follow you wherever
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  you go.
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  And Jesus said to him, foxes have holes
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  and birds of the air have nests, but
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  the son of man has nowhere to lay
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  his head.
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  Jesus is basically saying, are you sure you
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  want to follow me wherever I go?
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  Because I go some uncomfortable places.
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  I'm an itinerant.
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  I don't always have a nice cushy spot
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  to land at night.
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  Sometimes I have nowhere to lay my head.
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  Jesus is grappling or encouraging this person to
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  grapple with what it really means to follow
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  Jesus.
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  So Jesus is not somehow tied up in
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  knots, anxious to get the person to say
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  yes to him.
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  He's not anxiously getting the person to grapple
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  with what it really means to follow him.
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  So similarly, in our friendships, we don't need
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  to be tied up in knots about how
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  do we get people to be curious about
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  Jesus?
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  We can gently provoke curiosity by being curious
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  ourselves.
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  We can be curious about what our friends
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  believe, what they think about important topics, and
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  they may reciprocate and also be curious, well,
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  what do you think about that?
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  So again, it's always practicing what we preach.
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  We're curious and that may be provoking curiosity
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  from others as well.
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  But I also find it's helpful to be
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  intentional.
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  Again, we don't have a specific command in
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  scripture that says go around provoking curiosity about
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  the kingdom of God.
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  But we do see examples of people being
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  ready to speak about the kingdom of God
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  to people who are curious.
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  And so I think that we can think
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  about opportunities to provoke curiosity, not necessarily as
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  a command of scripture, but as a way
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  to love people.
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  If people often cross a certain threshold once
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  they are curious, helping them become curious is
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  a way to gently nudge them in that
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  direction.
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  So one way to do this is by
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  asking questions that open up people's faith stories.
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  So just learning how to ask these questions
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  in a natural, organic way is super helpful.
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  So one question that I use sometimes is,
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  did you have any kind of faith background
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  growing up?
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  Just ask it neutrally.
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  I'm not saying that they should have had
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  that background.
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  I'm just I'm curious.
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  And sometimes people be like, yeah, I went
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  to Lutheran school for a while.
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  Or they'll be like, not really.
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  It wasn't a thing in our family.
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  And then I have a follow up question.
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  What does that mean for you today?
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  Or where are you at today with those
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  things?
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  And it's fascinating if you just ask that
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  open ended question.
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  Where are you at today with those things?
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  Sometimes people are so ready to share.
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  Sometimes people are like, let me tell you,
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  here is why I don't go to church
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  anymore.
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  Or let me tell you, I had this
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  one relationship in college with this one roommate
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  that was really interesting.
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  And I started going to Bible study, but
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  then I didn't.
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  You know, people are just willing to share.
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  Sometimes people that I don't even know that
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  well will just open up if I ask
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  that question, that kind of neutral, open ended
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  way.
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  Did you have any kind of faith background
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  growing up?
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  Where are you at with those things today?
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  So think about what's a question like that
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  that you could use to provoke curiosity?
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  Kind of similar questions would be something like,
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  do you have any kind of faith commitment
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  or what's your spiritual story?
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  You know, you got to figure out what
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  makes sense for you to ask.
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  Don and Doug in their book, they have
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  a list of questions like this that can
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  help provoke curiosity.
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  So I just want to read some of
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  their examples.
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  Have you ever had a spiritual experience?
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  Would you like to have a spiritual experience?
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  Have you ever felt like you received a
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  sign from God?
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  What would you do if God gave you
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  a sign?
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  What is your take on this whole God
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  question?
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  What do you think God is like?
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  Why does so many people hide behind religion?
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  What do you think is wrong with Christians
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  today?
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  What do you think life is about?
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  Do you think you have a destiny?
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  Do you think that people are more spiritually
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  interested today than they were five years ago?
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  What's the most significant thing that has happened
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  to you in the last month?
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  The thing that all these questions have in
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  common is they show curiosity.
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  We're being curious and we're kind of provoking
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  curiosity from the other person, somebody being willing
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  to explore certain questions.
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  What do they really think about faith?
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  What do they really think about God?
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  What do they think about Christians or about
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  Jesus?
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  But we're doing it in an open-ended
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  way.
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  We're not trying to maneuver somebody into some
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  specific response.
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  We're trying to tune into what's really going
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  on with them.
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  So that's how you can provoke curiosity.
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  And that can go to all sorts of
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  wonderful places in your relationships and conversations with
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  people.
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  It's easier than you might think to get
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  those conversations started.
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  One thing, though, that's really important here is
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  to not confuse curiosity with deep personal openness.
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  So we're actually about to get to the
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  next threshold, threshold number three, which is openness.
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  But curiosity is different.
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  Sometimes curiosity is more of an intellectual exercise
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  and it's not really that deep personal grappling
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  with could this be true for me.
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  This is another note from the book.
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  It's important to remember here that even when
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  someone's curiosity grows very strong, this does not
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  mean that they are open to actual change
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  in their life or are truly seeking for
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  answers and conclusions.
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  They are simply investigating and allowing themselves to
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  hear new ideas.
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  They are curious, which is wonderful.
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  A common mistake, though, is for Christians to
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  mistake someone's curiosity for either genuine openness or
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  seeking.
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  While moving from complacent to curious, people often
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  investigate Jesus and his teachings and they can
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  ask quite provocative questions.
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  For all intents and purposes, they appear quite
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  interested in their heart of hearts, however, they
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  are not yet planning on making any real
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  changes in their life.
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  Curiosity should be celebrated as a step forward,
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  not mistaken for something that it's not.
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  So that's just a kind of a sidebar
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  nuance here that we want to provoke curiosity,
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  but we don't want to mistake someone being
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  curious for something that is more than it
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  is.
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  If we mistake someone as being deeply open,
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  pursuing Jesus, just because they're being intellectually curious,
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  we might overload them.
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  And we want to just give as much
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  in response to somebody as they're ready for.
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  Right?
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  So if somebody shows a little bit of
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  curiosity, we can give them a little bit
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  of an answer, somebody shows a lot of
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  curiosity, we can give them a little bit
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  more of an answer, but we want to
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  kind of gauge where people are at.
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  A metaphor that comes up in the book
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  is if you've got a little Dixie cup,
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  you shouldn't try and pour a gallon of
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  water into it.
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  So somebody has a Dixie cups worth of
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  curiosity, only give them a Dixie cups worth
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  of water.
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  That's all they're really open to at the
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  moment.
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  And as you keep doing that over time,
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  that will, back to the first threshold, build
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  more trust that they'll see you're not trying
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  to force something, you're not trying to maneuver
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  something, you're just keeping pace with them.
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  And you may see that they become more
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  and more curious over time, and maybe even
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  take a step towards more personal openness.
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  Lord Jesus, help us to stay curious, help
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  us to be curious about our friends.
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  Thank you that you found us.
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  Even when we were complacent, you brought us
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  into investigating and knowing you, and help us
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  to believe that that's really possible for our
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  friends and our coworkers to experience as well.
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  Do your work in us as we do
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  our work with you.
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  Thanks for listening.
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  Finding God at Work is a production of
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  dedicated to forming Christians for mission in everyday
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