Latest / The Mami Collective / The Only Person Standing In Your Way Is You (And I Say That With Love)
Transcript
- Paulina: Welcome to the Mommy Collective. I'm Paulina Rowe, radio host, TV contributor, writer, and mom of one. This is where ambitious moms come to keep their identity intact while navigating motherhood. Here we talk about the real stuff: career, money, relationships, identity, and everything. Everything that gets messy in between. You won't find sugarcoating or cliches. What you will find are unfiltered conversations, real resources, and proof that you don't have to lose yourself to be a good mom. The Mommy Collective is here to remind you you can be ambitious, you can take up space, and you can thrive in motherhood and in everything else that makes you you. Before we get into the episode, make sure you're following the mommy collective on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. And share this podcast with a mommy in your life who needs a little inspiration or just a reminder that. She's killing it. Also, don't forget to sign up for our newsletter and leave us a review so we can keep showing up and reach every ambitious mom out there doing big things. Let's get into it. What's going on? And welcome back to another episode of the Mommy Collective Podcast. If you are new here, welcome. I'm so happy that you found me. And Loki, I love to know how you found me because I feel like I am trying to reach all of y'all mommies, all of the ladies, all of the everybody's. So, you know, hit me up if you haven't heard an episode yet before. So welcome. I'm really excited that you're here. Today I'm coming in a little hot. I'm not gonna lie. And also I probably sound a little congested, so my bad. I don't know if I'm sick or like, well, actually, I do know. I'm kind of a little sick. I don't know what it is though, that's what I'm saying. It's so gross and weird and whatever. Just know that I don't sound like this all the time. But I am here. I'm coming in a little hot because one thing that I keep hearing over and over, and it's gonna make me jump off a cliff or walk onto oncoming traffic at some point is I keep hearing the same thing. Okay. I wanna start the business, but I wanna post the content, but I wanna launch the podcast, but I wanna ask for help. I'm drowning, but and after talking to honestly, I could say confidently, hundreds of women through the mommy collective, whether it's through the podcast, through dinners, through DMs, whatever it might be, And obviously, you know, I'm interviewing a ton of successful entrepreneurs, executives, creators, moms who are building just such amazing and incredible things. I have realized something, and I'm gonna be so for real, I'm gonna be so honest with you. Most of us are not being held back by our husbands as much as we think we are. Don't get me wrong, like we still are sometimes because what happens a lot of the times is our husbands are still living the life they want. Or they get their own free time. And trust me, that happens in this household too. I'm expected to be on baby duty all the time. That's kind of where this comes down to. But truth be told, we're really gonna dive deep into it, which is what I'm about to do today. Most of us are not being held back by our husbands, I would say a hundred percent of the time. Okay, but hear me out before you come at me. We're not being held back by our kids. Don't get me wrong. Again, let me finish my thought here. We're not being held back by money. Again, let me finish my thought. I know you're about to come through the screen through your speakers. I know you wanna just sucker punch me, but let me finish. We're not being held back by time. And I'm the girl who's got no time for nothing. And the truth is, we're being held back by ourselves. We are holding ourselves back. And I hope you know that I am pointing my little finger to me because this is also applying to me. I've told you guys numerous times that I'm gonna share more behind the scenes, I'm gonna share more content just based upon my day-to-day, my life. Ask me how many times I have done that. Literally ask me. Maybe twice. And it's already halfway through 2026. Okay? So I'm just gonna be very honest. We're being held back by ourselves. I know that no one likes hearing this because it's a lot more comfortable to blame circumstances than to admit that we're the ones keeping ourselves stuck. Again, comfortable. ⁓ I got three kids. I don't have time to post content. I don't have time to start the side business. When do I have time? And that's me. I've said this to myself. Like I say to myself maybe three times a day. I can't do what my husband does. He gets to just kind of come home and just do what he's gotta do, and then I'm over here, so you know, still watching the baby, and that's my life story. I love my husband, he's the best. But I will say, in my next life, if I ever have kids again, I'm coming back as a dad. I am coming back as a dad. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to have children ever again in the future. Okay. And I am one that will also blame my circumstances. I admit it. I sure as hell do this. But this episode might sting a little bit. And if it does, it's probably because it's true. And I needed this talk. I hope you do too, because I definitely needed it. I have done this in my own life, like I said, a thousand times. I've sat on ideas, I've overthought emails, even my newsletter, how many times have I been like, I'll get to it tomorrow, I'll get to it the next day, until I hired my team and they're like, the newsletter goes out every Monday morning. No excuses, no exceptions every Monday morning. Like, do you see, do you see how things start to happen, right? And order starts to come into your life once you make that decision and pull the trigger. It's happening. I've overthought even just emails. I've recently I'll share this with you guys. I overthought an email regarding a sponsorship for our 2026 Mommy Collective Summit. And guess what? That person responded and bought a gold sponsorship from me. Shout out to this sponsor announcing very soon incredible. Like incredible. All because of an email. I've written captions 17 times, just rewriting, rewriting. I've convinced myself that nobody cares. And sometimes I still find myself in this category. I'm like, nobody cares what I'm posting, what I'm doing. Like, why am I gonna share this behind the scenes stuff? Nobody cares. I've talked myself out of opportunities before anybody else had the chance to really reject me. There was no no. I just talked myself out of it. Does any of this sound familiar? Good. Let's talk about it then. Because I think moms especially have gotten really good at making excuses that sound responsible, right? ⁓ I can't do this, I gotta pick up my kids. That's being responsible. You had your kids, now you gotta go take care of them, pick them up. So it sounds like, okay, makes sense. Like I'm not gonna shame you for not posting content because you got business to handle. You got kids to raise. But see that's what makes them dangerous. We disguise fear as practicality. We disguise insecurity as humility. We disgr we disguise procrastination as preparation. That's me. And when we wonder why nothing changes, we literally sit there and wonder why is nothing changing. So here's one that I hear all the time. Nobody cares what I have to say. Really? Nobody cares. Last time I checked, there are people making six figures explaining how to organize a fucking junk drawer. There are people reviewing paper towels online. I'm not even being funny. There are people literally building careers by raking frozen pizzas. But somehow, your experience, your expertise, and your story, they're not valuable, right? Come on, girl. You don't actually believe that. Okay, I just know you don't. You don't want to risk being seen, and I understand that. Posting the content means someone might judge it. Starting the business means somebody might say no to you. You're gonna hear no. That's just a heads up. I'm gonna give you that right now. Launching the podcast means somebody might not listen to it. Creating the offer means somebody might not buy it. And our brains would rather keep us safe than successful. And I Blame our ancestors, okay? I mean I'm not blaming them, but I feel like all that comes from thousands and thousands of years of keeping safe. Which is why I think we're like scared of snakes, even though you're probably not gonna see a snake today if you live in the city, like you're not gonna see one. But when you do see one, it's like end of the world. Because quite literally, our bodies used to tell us, like our minds used to say, Hey, snake equals danger. This is dangerous for you. Get what I'm saying? So something to think about, okay? And because our brains would rather keep us safe than successful, we stay hidden. We call it being busy. We talk about everything else, you know, that we're doing as an excuse as to why we can't do the one thing. So let's talk about asking for help too, because this one makes me want to shake you by the shoulders. Where are we acting like needing help is some kind of moral failure? So why do we wear exhaustion like a Chanel bag? I'm curious. Why are we bragging about being overwhelmed? When did it complete? When did complete burnout become a personality trait? I swear some moms are out here collecting stress, like these Pokemon cards. ⁓ you only got four hours of sleep? That's cute. I only got three. ⁓ you're tired? I haven't sat down since Tuesday. So, like, girl, congrats. Do you want a trophy? There's no trophy. There's no award coming. I'm just here to tell you that. There's no medal coming. There's no secret ceremony that you're gonna be invited to. Nobody is showing up to your house to present you with a lifetime achievement award for doing every single thing yourself, girl. But I'll tell you what is coming: resentment, burnout, maybe, possibly anxiety. Or if you really want to take it far, a trip to the ER. That's the prize. I say that because I love you though. I want you to know that I say all of this because I truly love you. We have got to stop romanticizing suffering. We act like asking for help. Is weakness. Meanwhile, CEOs, CEOs have assistants, okay? Athletes have coaches, celebrities have entire teams. But us moms, moms somehow think that we're supposed to operate like a Fortune 500 company run by one exhausting woman, run by one exhausted woman surviving on cold coffee. Although I love my iced coffee, I'm not gonna lie. And just vibes. It's actually ridiculous. And somewhere along the lines, too, we convinced ourselves that doing everything alone would make us stronger. And I'm here to tell you it doesn't. It doesn't. It makes us tired. And that's a difference. There's like a huge difference in that, okay? I also think a lot of us are secretly waiting for permission. If we're gonna dive into that part too, permission to maybe start the project, start the podcast, whatever it is. Permission to be visible, permission to charge more, permission to rest, permission to go after the thing. Permission to be ambitious, permission to want more. So I'm gonna save you some time and I'm gonna hold your hand. I'm gonna hold both hands actually and tell you, nobody's coming. Nobody. There's no like magical confidence fairy that's gonna come to your door like today. There's no committee meeting happening about whether you're allowed to pursue your dreams. There's no official invitation. So either you decide you're gonna do it or you don't. That's truly it. The women that you admire, they weren't less scared. They just moved before they felt ready. They just did it. That's the secret no one is telling you. Confidence doesn't come first, and I promise you that. Action comes first. Then confidence follows, and that's how this happens. Okay, I didn't start the mommy collective because I felt so qualified. I was a brand new mom. What the hell did I know? I started this because I felt called, and that's a big difference. If I waited until I felt completely ready, I'm gonna be so honest, there'd be no podcast, no dinners. No annual summit, no community, no nothing. Because ready is a myth. Nobody feels ready. When the hell do you do ever just like feel ready? Do you think the first person who launched a podcast knew exactly what they were doing? Every entrepreneur woke up one day feeling so perfectly confident. Like today's the day. Absolutely the fuck not. They were scared. They just did it anyway. And here's the part that might hurt you, but some of you are spending more time thinking about your dreams than actually working on them. You spend hours researching, planning, tweaking, learning, preparing, make that vision board, listening to YouTube videos, podcasts, right? Cause I used to do this. Talking about it, that's a big one. Thinking about it, praying about it, manifesting it. Yes, my manifestors come through, but doing it? Not so much. At some point, preparation becomes procrastination, wearing just a very cute outfit, okay? And someone needed to say it. So here, I'm gonna ask you, what if you just posted The video, Instagram, TikTok, whatever it is. What if you just sent the email? What if you just applied for the opportunity? What if you launched the offer? What if you asked the question? What if you just admitted you need help? What if you stopped waiting to become someone else before allowing yourself to begin? Because the truth is, the life you're asking for might be sitting on the other side of this one very uncomfortable conversation. So all it takes, one email. One post, one ask, one decision. That's it. Not perfection, not certainty, just movement. And before we wrap up this episode, I just want you to think about something. Imagine that it is one year from now. Would future you be proud of the choices that you're making today? Or would she be frustrated that she's still having these same conversations, still making the same excuses, waiting for permission? Are you still talking yourself out of the life that you want? Because I don't know about you, but I'm tired of watching these incredible women and moms shrink themselves. I'm tired of watching the moms apologize for taking up space. And I'm tired of watching y'all play small because you're worried that somebody might have an opinion. And I promise you, it doesn't matter what Rebecca from Naperville thinks about you. Shout out to Naperville. I'm just throwing a very random suburban city out there for my example. People are gonna have opinions. No matter what you do, and if you're a mom, you know this already. It started the day that you told the world that you were pregnant and that you're having a baby. Everybody's got opinions. You should do this, you should do that. Are you gonna work? Are you gonna stay at home? Are you going to breastfeed? Are you going to pump? Are you going to formula feed? Are you gonna use these diapers? Are you going to co-sleep? Like, girl, you know people are gonna have opinions anyway. You might as well make them watch you win, girl. So here's your homework. You ready? Post the thing. Send the email. Start the business, ask for help, launch the idea, make the call, apply for that opportunity, whatever it is you've been putting off, do one thing that scares you. One thing though, not 10, like just that one thing. Because your next level is it waiting for more confidence? No, it's waiting for more courage. The courage that doesn't show up before action. It shows up because of action. And I'm gonna leave you with this, okay? You're not behind, you're not, you're not unqualified. You're not incapable. You're not stuck, but you are standing in your own way. And if this is true, good news, that means you can move. See you next week. Make sure to like, subscribe, all things on Instagram, all things on YouTube, everywhere else that you listen to podcasts. Leave a review if you don't mind. I love you and I mean it. I'll talk to you soon.