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8. Cultivating Seeds Of Faith In Your Home · A Heart That Beats for Home

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey friends, I'm Nikki Smith, your host here at A Heart that Beats For Home, the podcast where we're ditching filters and diving headfirst into the raw beauty of all things home.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Now, I am no expert when it comes to this whole parenting and marriage dance.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm simply a gal who's been riding the mom roller coaster for 22 years and a wife still entangling the mystery of it all 25 years after saying I do.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: My goal is to bring you unapologetically messy and boldly genuine conversations about cultivating strong families.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, possibly cry, and straight talk about the joy and chaos that comes within the four walls that we call home.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: No judgment and certainly no perfection, just real talk from my heart, a heart that beats for home.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Let's dive in.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Hello everyone, welcome back.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being here with us today.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I am sitting in beautiful Illinois where, in February, we have a 70 degree day.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: It feels a little bit too good to be true.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I have actually graduated out of my closet into my bedroom, and so the windows are open.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: The spring air is coming in.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Today, if you hear dogs barking, people playing outside, consider it the sounds of spring, and we're gonna just roll with it, because I need to move out of my closet and come into a more inspiring space to be able to create content on this podcast every week.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Bear with me if there's some background noise, but super excited to dig into a topic today.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: That feels a little overwhelming, but I'm just gonna speak from my heart and trust that you guys all hear the desire of what my heart is Talking today about sowing seeds of Christ in our children's heart and just that overwhelming responsibility that I think we sometimes feel as parents, specifically as mamas who are home or kids and this is something that has come up for me in several conversations over the last several months People asking about this or even saying to me, like Nikki, I don't even have a clue how to do that.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to talk about the Bible, about God, about anything of spiritual meaning with my children.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I'm having a hard time even learning myself what that is and just having a lot of questions about how do we do that, and I think we get into the rut if I'm being totally honest and I can say I'm guilty of this as well at times in my life where we think, oh well, my kids are going to church, so they're learning stuff in Sunday school, or my kids are in a Christian school, so they're getting a Christian education and they're in that Bible class and all of those things are wonderful and they're good and great seeds are planted there.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: But the reality is is that the church has our children.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: If they go four weeks a month, they have our children for four hours and the schools have our children for a good amount of time.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: If some of that is spent on biblical teaching, that's wonderful.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: We at home should be carrying the most responsibility for that role of really teaching and mentoring and exposing our children to the things of the Lord.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: And so, just going to talk today about a handful of things that I think we can do in our homes that start to sow those seeds in them that hopefully will grow into a relationship with Jesus, I want to have my own.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: What I don't want is for my children to have a second hand faith.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I want them to have first hand faith.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I want their faith to be their faith.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I don't want it to be well, my mom and dad did this and so it's what I'm doing.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I really truly my hope and my desire and my prayer, both Jed and I, is that our children would really have their own relationship with the Lord.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: And so what can we do as parents to help point them that way and not live in the narrative of I'm not enough.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: This other mom is so much more spiritual than me and she's doing it so much better, but we can't compare ourselves to anybody else.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: God gave us our children, he equipped us with what we need, and we're going to dive in to just some simple ways that we can cultivate what I think is the most important foundation that we can give our kids.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: My true heart is that I want to expose my children to Jesus.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Not to a religion, not to a set of practices and check-ins and rituals, but I really want to expose my children to what a relationship with Jesus looks like.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: When we look at Deuteronomy 4-9, it says this just make sure to stay alert, keep close watch over yourself, don't forget anything of what you have seen, don't let your heart wander off, stay vigilant as long as you live.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Teach what you have seen and heard to your children and your grandchildren.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of stuff in that that we can take away, of things that we need to work on in our own lives, and not letting our hearts wander off and staying vigilant and things that are a reflection of how we're living, which we're going to talk about here in a minute.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: But let's jump right in to a couple things that I think are just practical.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: This is for mommas.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: If you have little kids, like tiny kids, this is great.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: You're getting a start on this right when your children are little.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: But let me tell you, do not ever believe the lie that it's been too long that you didn't do it right, that your kids are too old.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: They're already in high school.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: They're already maybe making decisions that don't show evidence of them having a heart that seeks after the Lord.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Do not believe the lie that it is too late for you to start making some of these changes in your home and in your own life.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: So, number one, let's talk about making conversation about Jesus a part of everyday life.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: In Endurodemy.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: A little farther into the book, in chapter six, verses six and seven, it says and these words that I have commanded you should be on your heart, you should teach them diligently to your children.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You shall talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: And this is just a beautiful picture of saying really, you all day, all night, everywhere you go, everywhere you sit, everywhere you walk, everywhere you lay down, when you rise up in the morning, you should be talking about the things of the Lord.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And so how are ways that we can practically do that?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to share a couple with you that are things that we have done in our home.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: A lot of these are things that I remember my mom doing and they're literally passed down from generation to generation, just like the Bible verse talks about.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: But it's really interning our attention to in everything that we're doing.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: How can we incorporate the goodness of God, the beauty that God has created all around us, and just being made aware of Him all around us?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So one example would be I remember growing up, anytime that there would be an ambulance of fire truck, a life flight, my mom would always stop wherever we were, whatever we were doing, and she would say let's pray for whoever it is that's in need of that ambulance or fire truck or whoever is being flown from this hospital to another hospital.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And we would just take maybe 10 seconds, maybe 30 seconds, never anything super extravagant, but it really was just taking time to pause and say there's power in prayer, there's power in praying for people who are hurting, there's power in stopping to recognize that life is happening and there's hurts and there's needs around you.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And something so simple.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: And how that?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Now, for me, if I hear that helicopter, I immediately stop and I'm praying for whoever is in that and for the family that just said goodbye at a hospital and is in route to another hospital.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Or when you see the ambulance or you drive by the car accident, just taking time to say prayers for the people that are involved.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Being raised up, having that happen in my life, all around me, we actually lived like a block and a half from the hospital, so there was lots of opportunities for this.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: We heard lots of sirens.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: But then, moving to downtown Chicago, as a college student, I remember, you know, not every single time I heard a siren because I felt like it was every hour, but specifically when I heard those helicopters, knowing that there was serious life threatening things that were happening, with the people involved, just taking the time to pray for that and not having any idea at the time that our daughter would, just a few years later, be in the same situation where she was in a helicopter being airlifted off, and I can only hope, like it literally just warms my heart to think that sweet girl of mine was in that helicopter flying to a hospital, that People were seeing that and that they were being prompted to pray, that there were families that were stopping and praying for whoever it was in that helicopter, having no idea what was going on but just asking God to be the doctor, to be the ultimate healer, to be the physician, to be with the people that were left behind.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: That in that situation was me and my husband, and we needed every single prayer we could get.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: That's one simple way.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: It's being aware of what's happening around you.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Another example Years ago my kid this is probably, I don't know six, seven years ago pulled up to target and we pulled into a parking spot right next to a light post and when we got out of the car there was Flyer taped to the light post that was for a missing child.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: It was a middle school age child, similar to my kids age, and I, one of my children, asked about it I think it was our little guy, asked what it meant and so we went up to the sign and we were reading it and it was just this heartbreaking missing persons poster for this child, the similar age to my children, and right there at the lamp post, I felt like God was nudging me To say, nikki, just pray with your kids real quick.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Just pray for this, this person that we're looking at a picture of.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: We can see them, we can relate To what they look like and how old they are, and pray for that family and pray for their parents and pray that God would protect that child.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: And it was Something that I will never forget.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Just standing in a parking lot praying for this child, showing my kids that God cares about the details and that we can go to him with anything at any time and that he hears us another way and taking inventory and the things around you.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Is this whole concept with your children of isn't God amazing?
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: You guys, everywhere that we go all day, every day, there is evidence of a creator that cares about detail.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Every flower, every cloud, every pattern of grass and trees and leafs, and insects and bugs and animals and birds that fly, all of these things, sunsets and rainbows they are amazing.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And when you really stop and you think about the things that we pass by day to day, that we don't stop and take any wonder in and just share with our kids and their exploration and in their awe and in their excitement about creation to stop and talk about.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Isn't God amazing Like?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Look at this butterfly, look at the patterns and look how much detail God put into that.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Or look at the clouds, or look at the sunset, or look at all the colors that God put together.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: That looks so beautiful together, all of these different things that we can just bring back the wonder and the awe of creation to the creator to talk about him and his magnificence.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Another one is who made it right?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: We can play the who made it game all day long when your kids are mesmerized by these same things the bugs, the trees, the patterns, the flowers, how a garden grows, how maybe the plant that they planted from little seeds in a class are now becoming fruits and vegetables.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: To be able to take that and look at that and talk about who made that.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: You maybe were the person that got the, got the soil and got the seed and put it together.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: But who made that?
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Who made those seeds and who thought of that concept and who created the whole science behind light, coming into plants and them growing and water, going down into soil and to grow roots for stability and for strength, and who created the colors that were going to come out of that fly, flowers that were going to come out of that flower, or the seeds that were inside of that pepper, or that tomato or that strawberry that we're growing?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: There are so many things in our day to day life that we can point back to the creator.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Number two is create a Christ filled environment and, as moms, specifically, that are here in the homes most of the day, like we hold a lot of responsibility for the stage that we set for the things that are listened to, the things that are watched, the things that fill the eyes and the hearts and the ears of our children when they are in our home, whether it's intentionally there they're looking at something, or maybe it's when they're sitting on the floor playing with blocks, or at the kitchen table coloring, or when they're doing their homework.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I know for me, that environment Totally helps me manage my emotions and I have just always, from the time my kids were little.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I love music.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I literally I have music on from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed it is just constantly Playing and just looking for ways to use the music that's playing throughout my home to really help shape the hearts and the minds of my children, and so I started looking early on, when my kids were really little, for things that we could be playing and filtering into their ears and their hearts.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: That would be beneficial, that wouldn't just be secular, just random wordsmith of something about Relationships or cowboys or whatever, and all of that is good and fine and we do a fair amount of that as well.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: But I try to make the bulk of the music that's coming out of the speakers in our home that which is beneficial, and so a couple things I want to share with you.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Specifically, if you have younger children, something I came across is called seeds family worship seeds S E, e D S just like a seed in the ground family worship.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: All put all of these things in the show notes so that you can link right to them, but this is a channel that you can find on Spotify or Apple music.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Back in the day when everything was on CD, I was able to find these seed family worship CDs and in reading about the company, ultimately what it is Is.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: It was a children's pastor that was having a really hard time getting the children and the children's church to memorize verses, and so he and the music pastor collaborated and they took word for word scripture and put it to music.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So it's even different than our beautiful praise music that we have in modern day, where it's taking biblical concepts and truths about the Lord and singing about them.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Seeds family worship is actual literal word for word scripture and there are hundreds and hundreds of them, and I will tell you it is not annoying kids music.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I still, to this day, put them on very regularly.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I all the time in asking Alexa to play seeds family worship, just filling our home with that literal word for word scripture.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: That is going into the hearts and the souls of my own life and into my kids.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: And there were so many times where my kids had to do Bible memory for school projects or for for speech class.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: And I remember one time my daughter coming home and it was an entire chapter.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: I think it was maybe Psalms 101, I feel like maybe Psalms 101 or maybe Psalms 100.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: And she came home and she's like mom, psalms 100 is on the memory list and it's one of the seeds family worship songs and she started singing it and she knew the entire chapter, word for word, because over the course of time we had listened to that song over and, over and over until it actually became implanted in her mind.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And for me that was so rewarding.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Still to this day, if our pastor or anywhere that we're at a verses read that is one of these original songs, our whole family will kind of look at each other and kind of chuckle because although the pastor might be reading it in our minds we are all singing it to the beat that we have learned that particular verse to.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: And so there are just dozens and dozens and dozens of verses that me and my children know by heart because they were sung over and over in our home.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: So look that up seeds family worship.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: It is so great when attitudes are good.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: When attitudes are bad it fills your home with such amazing peace and just joy.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Another one is praise baby videos.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: So if you ever had heard of baby Einstein, that was huge when our kids were little and so I kind of got hooked on baby Einstein.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: They talked about how smart the kids were going to be because it played classical music and it was shapes and noises on the screen, and so I bought into that.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't very long into it that I thought there's got to be a version of this that's using scripture or, you know, bible verses or praise music.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: And, sure enough, praise baby videos I found, and it was the exact same concept of teaching about shapes and sounds and eye movement and brain coordination, but it was all to praise music.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So if you have little ones, look up praise baby.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: And then a newer version of that I believe is called listener kids on YouTube, but it's very similar, has a lot of praise music and biblical principles, instead of it just being something random that isn't doing anything to cultivate those seeds of Christ in our kids.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And then another one is just have Bibles around.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: If you as a mama are doing your Bible study, have that Bible where your kids are seeing it and they're seeing you in it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: And have children's Bibles that are beautiful.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: There's a couple of children's Bibles, two in particular that I'll also link in the show notes, but one of them literally as I have read it to my children throughout the years.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: It is written so beautifully that it literally brings me to tears when I'm reading it to them.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: So immerse yourself in the words of scripture, have it around.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: There are so many different ways that we can do that.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Another one is called the biggest Bible story ever.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I believe it's kind of a more popular children's Bible right now and it has the most beautiful graphics that go along with it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: The artist that does their artwork is just phenomenal.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: In fact, I was telling Jed the other day we volunteer in the kindergarten class at church twice a month.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Twice a month and they use these illustrations from this Bible.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: They make them in posters and I was looking at them all, just mesmerized by their beauty, and I said to Jed hey, just so you know there, this will be the art in our grandchildren's nursery.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: At our home I can already see it a wall of these beautiful poster illustrations of these Bible stories that are just stunning that I can't wait to hang in the nursery, in the children's room when our grandkids start coming, just so that we can continue to talk about the goodness of God and the stories of the Bible and the way they pertain to us and just the history of what our heritage is in the Lord.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: So get those Bibles out, read them If you feel like you don't know the Bible, maybe you're new in your faith.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: You guys, these are such great things for you.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: The seeds, family worship is so great for you.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: There's another one.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: It's actually a gal at our church.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I'll also link this in the show notes Abby Houston.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Exact same thing, literal word for word, scripture, but written a little bit more for adults than for children.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: But again, I had that on all day.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Yesterday there was just some tension in the home school room and I just thought, well, we just need some scripture sung over us.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: And so yesterday Abby's music is a little bit more calm and just real, peaceful and literally for just six hours, just Bible scripture, versus being sung in our home over and over and over.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: And so, no matter where you are, whether you're far into your faith or you're very new, these are good things for you to spend your time meditating on the worship music, the videos, the Bibles.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: The third thing is to help our children have these seeds of Christ.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Is what am I placing value on?
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: In my own life?
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Our children were most likely emulate, whatever we are.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I just saw a precious story of a friend on Instagram.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: A couple weeks ago she posted that she keeps her Bible kind of underneath the coffee table with a highlighter on it.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: And she woke up one morning and came down and her little daughter, who I think is five or six she's pretty young had brought her children's Bible down and put it right next to her mama's under the coffee table with a highlighter.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: And this is the best example to show that our children will emulate what we do.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: What I place value on, my children will place value on what I worship.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Most often my children were worship, and so children take way more notice of what we do than what we say.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: It's very easy to say all the right things that we want our kids to do, but if we aren't doing the things that we say, they will not do them either.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: And so I just love that example of a little child seeing this habit that their mom has, this routine and even down to the highlighter that goes with the Bible, and emulating that exact behavior.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: And so, as parents, we hold that responsibility.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I have to look at myself and say what do I celebrate in my children's life?
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: What are the things that I call out that I'm so proud of?
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Because ultimately, at the end of the day, if there is one thing that my kids know, whether they're 14 or they're 18, or they're 21, 40 or 50, no matter what any age that my children are.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: If there is one thing that I want them to know, it's that God is crazy about you.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: He loves you, he died for you.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: So often we don't put the emphasis in our home on that.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: What God is crazy about is a heart that seeks after him.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: That's what he wants from our kids, and it's so easy for us to put all of our efforts into stats and performance and school and resumes and titles, when ultimately that's all good and beautiful and those are all gifts that God has given us, but that's not what he's looking for.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: He's not looking for our accomplishments, he's looking for our heart.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And so I think as parents, we have to be careful what we praise in our children and praising the attribute over the person, and so I'm going to give some examples on what this might look like, and these are more to the age group of a little bit older kids, but there are so many that you could think about.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: You know, you could pertain to their small relationships with their friends or their siblings.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Just kind of think through what are ways that I can call out character, qualities that are Christ-like, that I'm starting to see in my kids, things that are the fruits of the spirit that I'm starting to see in them, and how can I call those things out?
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So here's some examples of what we might naturally say, versus what we could say, that would call out the goodness of their heart, the character, the things that are shaping them to be more Christ-like, that we want to put emphasis on.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: So, instead of saying you're the smartest person ever when they come home with that test, we could say I am so proud of you for working so hard and being so diligent with these talents that God has given you.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: He really honored your efforts on that test because of the work that you put in.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: See how different that is.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: It's not you're the smartest, it's man.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: You are using your talents and your gifts and God's really honoring that.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: What about this one when it's about sports?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Instead of saying you were the best out there on the court, what if we said to our kids when the game was over it's so encouraging to see your faithfulness and consistency in how you show up out there.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You really model what it looks like to be a loving teammate and an encourager to all.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to see you modeling loving others.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I'm really proud of you.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Again, talking about character qualities instead of accomplishments.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: What about?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I saw the way you helped your teacher and it makes my heart overflow with thankfulness when I watch you seeing the needs of others and being willing to serve.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I'm so proud of your willingness to help others.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Or, lastly, what about?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: You had a great game today, but I'm most impressed with the way that you took ownership of that mistake that you made out there and you didn't try to blame others for your missteps.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I really see God growing a spirit of humility in you and that makes me so grateful.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I'm really proud of you.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Do you see the difference in how the words that we speak, instead of just elevating a person, is elevating character qualities?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Because let me tell you something that I've learned in my own life and parenting when we talk about you're the smartest, you're the best, you were the leading scorer, you were this, those things are all fleeting.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: And if our kids constantly hear us praising statistics and their grades and their accomplishments, what happens when the floor falls out from underneath those?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: What happens when an injury comes and they can't perform?
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: What happens when a learning disability comes in and the grades start to go down.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: What happens when all of these things start to threaten the identity that we've created of?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: You're so smart, you're the best.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: That is a dangerous foundation, and so instead, when we focus our attention with our children to, you are diligent, you are humble, you are loving, you're modeling, loving others, and what a team player looks like.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Those are things that aren't fleeting.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Those are things that we also can call out on the flip side.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Like man, I see you being such a loving teammate, but I'm also a little alarmed at the way that you kind of threw responsibility on your teammates for that mistake that you made.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: How can we look at you building a spirit of humility and owning and being okay with failing?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: It's talking about the attributes instead of the person, and so I think we have to be so careful as parents to really ask ourselves what am I placing value on in my own life?
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: What am I gazing my eyes upon?
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Because then my kids will gaze upon that.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: We have to be willing to hold an account for the decisions that we make and also know that little eyes are watching us.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, the next one, number four.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: The final one is.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I love this from Annie Downs.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: She says friends talk in parables and she used the example of how Jesus would talk so often in parables To really get a point across.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: That was a teaching conversation without being harsh or rough, and I think that as parents we have such an opportunity to talk in parables with our children, to find ways really to ask God to give us wisdom, to see opportunities in the day to day dealings with our children where we can use teaching parables.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: How can we take stories or things that are happening around us and create those into teachable moments?
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: And this is something that I've had to kind of get better at and learn from other people and really ask God like please show me how I can help my son understand this concept through real life application, or help me be able to communicate this to my daughters in a way that isn't just me harping on them or coming down on them, but give me a real life application where this can maybe be more in the form of a story and a parable, where it really sinks in.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about some examples of that and what it might look like in the day to day life.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: So recently I was driving down the road with my son, we often find ourselves just the two of us in the car together.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: He is a little guy that he has spent his money before he has it In his mind he has already calculated for all the birthday money he has coming in the next year, the Christmas money, the yards he might be mowing this summer, the bait shop job he might have this summer, and in his mind that money is all already his.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: And so we found ourselves driving and he was talking about money and how he knew this certain amount was coming in, and so he thought he was going to buy this, and the conversation was that he was going to get more money than he originally thought.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: So his conversation was because I'm going to get more money than I thought, I'm going to get the better musky fishing rod than the original one I was going to get, because I'm going to have more money.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And I just have sensed in him this ability to spend money very freely.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Sometimes he has a regret when it's gone, but I just I know it's something that, with him, I really want to be working on, just the concept of saving and living under your means.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: And so, as we were driving and he was talking about this, god, I believe, totally gave me the analogy or the story of margins on the side of the road, and that margins are on the side of the road because they allow for wiggle room, they allow you to swerve a little bit if you have to, if there's a car that maybe stops too quick, or they allow you, if you have an accident and you break down, to pull off safely.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: They allow for space between you and danger.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: And in areas where there's not margin if you've ever been, I think about the road to Hanna when we were in Hawaii and there is no margin, literally no margin for air on that road, and it is so scary and I held my breath, I think, the entire time, because literally your tire is on the edge of the cliff and there is no room for error.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: And so, as we were talking about finances, I just said to him I was like, hey, buddy, look at the road and do you notice how there's like margin over there and how you know we talked about why do you think that's there?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: And what, what all does that get used for?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: And I just said, I think that God is really honored when we create margin in our life around things like finances and time or temptations, when we set up boundaries, where we're not right up next to the edge of the road, where, if we make a wrong move, we're going to fall over and be in trouble.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: And I just said I know that you're talking about this money that's coming in.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: And what if you started to look at your finances in a way that you created some margin in your, in your spending, so that, instead of pushing your finances, you know you're even having to calculate well, how much tax is that going to be, mom?
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Am I going to have enough money for tax?
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: What if you started spending in a way where you left a pretty heavy percentage or margin so that it wasn't always so close and there was some room for emergencies, or there was some room for something coming up down the road that you really wished you had money for, but you don't, because you spent everything.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: And we were able to talk about how we can do this with our time and how we can do this with temptations and just boundaries that we put on ourselves.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Like these are ways that we can honor God by creating boundary and margin in things in life.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: He totally got it If I would have just said to him in the car buddy, you spend too much money, you need to get a hold on it.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: You're money obsessed, you aren't wise, you're not frugal, you're not financially sound or you're not doing that because it's not smart.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: To be able to talk to him in a story form is kind, it's teachable, it makes sense and he will hold on to that and resonate with it when he thinks about making financial decisions.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Another example and I heard this on a podcast, I think it might have been the Birds and the Bees podcast they were talking about boundaries and the example that they gave to a group of middle-aged children when talking about temptation, and they were using the reference of fire in the fireplace.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Right, when you think about the concept that we in our homes, where we live, put fire inside our homes, we literally build fires in our homes in fireplaces.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Well, we do it in a way that it's safe because our fires are within the boundaries of the fireplace, but we also have screens and we pay attention and we don't go to sleep when the fire is burning, because at any moment that the fire jumps outside of the fireplace something that was beautiful, that was amazing, that we sat in that living room and we watched that Christmas movie and that fire brought us so much joy.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: The second, that fire jumps outside of the boundaries that it was created to be within.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: When it jumps out now we have a problem.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Now, something that was beautiful is actually causing mass destruction.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: It's burning down our home.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: And think about all the ways that you could use that analogy to talk with your children about fire inside of where it's supposed to be is good, something that was designed to be good, inside of boundaries, that once it jumps outside of those boundaries, causes such destruction.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: That is a visual picture that we can use with our children.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: And then the last one I'll share is one that Lou Giglio in his book Don't Give the Devil a Seat at the Table.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: If you have not read that book, absolutely wonderful.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Again, I feel like I'm saying this 100 times in this episode, but I will tag that in the show notes, probably one of my top five books that I've read in the last several years.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: But he gave the reference of you know Satan being really sneaky and him being very patient with learning us and getting to know us, and he made the reference to the devil being like a super skilled fisherman, that he knows exactly the bait that's going to make us bite and he knows exactly how he wiggles it in front of us, how it's going to get us, and that he's smart.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: And as soon as he gets us to bite, hold, he has us by the hook and ultimately it leads to death.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: And it was just this unbelievable picture of how temptation and sin comes into our life and it's.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: It looks very appealing and it looks maybe even like supper to the fish and as soon as we bite at it we're hooked.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: And to be able to use examples and stories like that to a guy who is obsessed with fishing, to be out in the fishing boat last summer the three of us my husband, myself and Landon were in the fishing boat and we were talking about some stuff and be able to use that analogy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: We have to be alert and we have to be aware so that we don't get caught in the bait that Satan is throwing at us.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: And again, these stories, they resonate and they are memory makers in the minds of our children.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: When we can help tie real life things, character, qualities, things about Jesus, temptations, how we live our life, into stories, they really help our children grasp the concepts that we're trying to get across, the lessons that we're trying to teach, and so I think it's just such a great way to cultivate these seeds of Christ in our home.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Lastly, to wrap it up, just a couple of final thoughts, is number one part of living for Jesus in our homes is being willing to live an interruptible life, and I think we can get caught up in just the busyness and the go, go, go and the to do lists and just all of the tasks that we miss beautiful opportunities that are not scheduled and when we're so busy that we can't see them, we pass right by them.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: And so part of living intentionally is that we have to be okay with being interrupted.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I think about Jesus on his journey, all the times that he was interrupted and people were grabbing at him and calling for him and trying to get in front of him.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: That is when he was able to minister to people the most was when he was willing to be interrupted on his way.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: As parents, we have this beautiful opportunity to see those moments that feel like my heart is saying I should be stopping here and taking the time, but my schedule is like no, keep going.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's something as simple as work outside and we have that 10 minutes at the park and we just need to get in the car.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: But my kid is mesmerized by a bug or a flower and instead of saying let's go, let's go, let's go.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe the interruptible part of your day needs to be let's take 30 seconds and let's talk about the creator of the thing, let's talk about the goodness of the God that created it.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Or maybe it's that you're driving around with your kids and you see a homeless person and God nudges on your heart like feed him, feed her, and you take the time to go, drive through a drive through to get a sandwich, to go back to that person and say I just want you to know that we see you and that God loves you and we wanted to give you a little something to eat.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Five minutes, five minutes and a couple dollars.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: If you can live an interuptable life, you can show your children the love of Jesus, and you're not doing it to show it to them, just to prove a point.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: You're doing it because it's what the Bible says we should do, and so when we create space for that, when there's, it doesn't mean that every single time you see a homeless person, you do this.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: But it means that you become in tune to the things that God is nudging your spirit to do, where you should be taking action, so that little eyes can watch and say, mom, I've followed that nudge.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: And when you look back at your kids and you say, let's talk about the ways that God tells us in the Bible that we're supposed to take care of the least of these, or the way that we're supposed to give generously, or the way that we're supposed to care for the orphans and the widows, and you can bring them back to we're doing this because this is what God has commanded us to do.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Or what about helping the janitor?
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: What about just stopping for three minutes and saying let's pick up as many of these empty cans or empty water bottles at this basketball game that we can that all of these people left.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: We treat the janitor the same way we would want to be treated.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: We pick up our own stuff, we take care of property, we leave things better than we found it.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: And so let's just bless the janitor by spending three minutes right now, by being willing to be interrupted in our life and do something to show love for somebody else, or maybe it's carrying the groceries to the car for the, to the car for the elderly woman, or taking a car back to the store for the elderly gentleman.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: When you see these things in your busy life, allow yourself to be interrupted the way that Jesus was interrupted, to show love to others.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: And then the second part of that is ultimately the goal of parenting is not to create perfect kids.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: My goal as a parent, jed's goal as a parent, is to point our kids to a perfect God.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: There is definitely an element of parenting that has pride wrapped up in it that says if my kids just turn out good, if they do good in school, if they get good jobs, if they perform well on the court, if they're super kind to all of the adults you know like, then I'll be able.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: People will be so impressed with my parenting.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: And ultimately, perfect kids is not what we're after, because there's no hope in that, there's no hope in that parenting strategy, because it's impossible.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: It is absolutely impossible.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: And when we place our value a lot of times on that, we also come up short.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: And so I know I'm fallen, I know I'm a sinner, I know I'm raising children who, although they are amazing, they are fallen and they are sinners.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: That's our common denominator Fallen parents, sinning parents, falling children, sinning children.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Both have a relationship with a perfect God that took the price for us, that paid the penalty for all of our sin and all of our imperfection.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: And when our day-to-day life is focused on, we are fallen, but he is perfect.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: It makes everything just make so much more sense.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: It takes away the striving and the need to achieve and it starts to turn inward into how can we cultivate love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and self-control, and how can we be a group that offers grace and forgiveness, and how can I extend that to my children?
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: And how then, do they learn to extend that back to me?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: And then, if we learn that in our home, how do we learn to take that into our community and into our neighborhoods?
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: What we are cultivating in our homes, when we have these seeds of faith in our children, it's stuff that lasts.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: It's not fleeting.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: We're not building on a shaky foundation.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: In the storms of life, our foundation is going to be exposed.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Storms reveal our foundation and our kids don't need parents that talk about Jesus.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Our kids need parents who have a foundation that points them to Jesus On the good days, on the bad days, on the joyful days, on the gut-wrenching hard news, diagnosis, marriage, struggle days.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Our kids need parents whose foundation is in Jesus, not in job titles, not in bank accounts, not in accomplishments, not in square footage of homes, not in the cars that we drive or the purses that we carry or the shoes that we wear, but foundations that are built on the saving grace of Jesus dying on a cross to save us.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: My kids get to see me mess up epically.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: The mom that I was at 25 was very different from the mom that I was at 35, because my faith journey grew and God grows you and he exposes things in you and he works in you and he grows deeper roots in you.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: And so my kids had a better mom at 35 than they had at 25.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: And now my kids have a better mom at 45 than they did at 35, because in the last decade God has continued to mold me and expose the sin in my life and to make me take ownership of that and wrestle with it and deal with it.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: And so my kids are seeing this pruning process of a fallen human and they get to see the good, the bad and the ugly of what that looks like.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: And ultimately, that's the strongest way that I get to sow seeds of Christ into my children's heart, and so I hope for you that, wherever you are listening to this, don't be discouraged, no matter what age your kids are.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: When you start sowing these seeds in your heart, the ripple effect will be that it will make an impact on your children, on your children's children and on generations to come.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: All right, well, that brings us to the end.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: For those of you that stuck with it, that was a lot of meaty information.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I hope that you leave encouraged.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Hey, real quickly, before you close out of your app, would you do me a huge favor and scroll down to wherever you find the rating and review section of this podcast?
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: If you would be so kind to give a heart that beats for home, either or a rating and or a review, we would be so appreciative.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: That's how we help get this podcast into the hands of others that might be looking for a community like ours.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: So thanks so much in advance for doing that for us.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Until next time, friends, take care.