Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 20. (S1E20) She Put An “H” On Her Chest And Handled It with Sparkle Lindsay
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to fine is a four letter word. I am so honored to
- 0:05have sparkle Lindsey as my guest today, because she is sharing
- 0:11such a personal story, and I really am so grateful for you
- 0:16for being willing to come and share this... Thank you so much for
- 0:20having me, Lori. I appreciate it. I was so excited when you were
- 0:23like, Hey, you wanna hook up? I'm like, Oh yeah, of course.
- 0:28Yeah, so we are going to talk about
- 0:31so many different topics. We're gonna keep it to our normal format,
- 0:35but I know that we could talk forever, but some of the things
- 0:38that I want to make sure that we do cover is talking about
- 0:41progress over perfection, and those stories that we make up, that we tell
- 0:47ourselves that are just made up and how we... Wanting to fix everything
- 0:52for everyone else, but really we only have control of our own stuff,
- 0:55so let's start out by having you share
- 1:00some of the beliefs that were instilled in you as a child that
- 1:03then affected you as you grew up and things that... Beliefs that you
- 1:08carried with you that may or may not have served you...
- 1:11Well, you know, I grew up... The oldest of five, I was my
- 1:15father. My mother, I was the right hand man, the right hand woman,
- 1:20the one that made sure all my brothers and sisters were taking care
- 1:25of for the most part, not really like I took the mother and
- 1:28father role 'cause we had wonderful parents, but more so the big sister
- 1:33role, like I should I... Sister role also was Sparkle, to take care
- 1:39of it. Role, go ask your sister. And for me, I got so
- 1:42used to being that sparkle knows it, that I took that on throughout
- 1:47my life, now, little did I know that that piece of my life
- 1:52would maybe cripple me in my addiction, I'm three months sober as of
- 1:58August 4. So in my eyes, in my addiction, I took on what
- 2:04they call the fix it role, and I took on the strong black
- 2:09woman role, the strong woman role, even at work as an HR manager
- 2:13at the time, now being 36 and no longer working for big box
- 2:16companies anymore, I took on the Spark will fix it role once again,
- 2:22call Sparkle, she knows what to do. And I got so used to
- 2:25that that I really didn't have any time to fix me,
- 2:28I didn't even know that this... Or I didn't even know that existed.
- 2:33And a big portion of that, I suppressed a lot of my issues,
- 2:37a lot of my problems, or a lot of things that were bothering
- 2:39me, because I felt like I had to be that super woman that
- 2:43fix it person, that person that had to have the answers,
- 2:48and being a recovery coach now, I can really look at the difference
- 2:54between how I am now and being able to allow people to fix
- 2:58their own issues, to walk alongside them, but let them know that it's
- 3:02theirs to hold... Not mine to keep. Yes, yeah. So let's take a
- 3:06step back to getting into corporate or getting into...
- 3:12As you were growing up, you moved away from your family,
- 3:15I went to school and became this corporate superstar. Really? Yeah,
- 3:20there's a part in my life there where I also played college basketball,
- 3:24so it started where I was paving the way for my brothers and
- 3:28sisters, I was showing them how it's supposed to be done,
- 3:30you know that American dream, where you go to school, you get a
- 3:34degree. You play a sport, if you can try to get a scholarship
- 3:38or an academic scholarship, and I received academic scholarship, I received
- 3:42a vocal Scholarship and I also received a basketball scholarship, so through
- 3:47all of those, I chose basketball. That was my sport. I also battled
- 3:51for autoimmune conditions, and the first autoimmune hit me in the middle
- 3:56of my college basketball season, where I dropped from 140 to 107 in
- 4:01a week and a half... Oh my gosh. And. I was told I'd
- 4:04never walk again. And that I would be in a wheelchair.
- 4:08Gosh, that scared me. You know, it scared me to meet...
- 4:12I never cried. To me, it was, I can fix it,
- 4:17I'm gonna walk again. I mean, I went into fight or flight mode.
- 4:20There was no such thing that, this is not going to happen.
- 4:23But little did I know later on in life,
- 4:26because I did, I suppressed all of that and didn't cry about it,
- 4:31it came back later and it got me... I was gonna say,
- 4:33did you go through any counseling, you know. I did not,
- 4:36and that is the reason why I harp so much on recovery coaching
- 4:41and getting those legs to your table and getting the help you need,
- 4:45and raising your hand to say, I need help and I need to
- 4:48talk to someone. Mental health and being able to speak up in the
- 4:53African American community, but also just period in people is to put the
- 4:58H on your chest and handle it, there's nothing... What we do,
- 5:01you can deal with it. You don't need to cry. What you're crying
- 5:03for? All of those kids that we tell ourselves, we tell ourselves this
- 5:08too, like, are I got it. It's fine, right?
- 5:13Why aren't you gonna cry today, you know, like, come on,
- 5:16but we weren't taught that in our society, we were not taught to
- 5:21allow ourselves and give ourselves permission to feel and to cry and to
- 5:26know that we're human and that we have to start with ourselves first.
- 5:32Right, right. Okay, so you did get yourself to walk again...
- 5:37Oh yeah. So I re taught myself to walk...
- 5:40I played another two years of college ball
- 5:43at like... Not only did you relearn to walk, you went back and
- 5:47played ball again... Oh. Yeah, I went back and I said,
- 5:51It's on... We're doing this. I then went on to try out for
- 5:56the MBA, but I realized I was gonna sign and I realized how
- 6:01exhausted I was and I need to turn it down, I had just
- 6:05been through quite a bit, and I went on a head...
- 6:08Got my degree, got a double major in a minor, and
- 6:11went on ahead to jump right into a manager and training role for
- 6:15coals, and that is where I was taking everything I learned from basketball,
- 6:22from the determination, from the motivation, the strong female that was
- 6:28looked up to repaired by a lot of other young girls and young
- 6:32men, and I'm like, I'm doing it, getting ready to come out making
- 6:3560000 a year, I'm 24 years old. Let's do this. I was on
- 6:40this mission of in my head, I don't think I'm good enough,
- 6:44so let's keep going. Later on it turned, came back to get me
- 6:49because that type of thought throw me into
- 6:54perfection, which is an illusion because there is no such thing as we
- 6:58know... Yeah. But to me... We were gonna get it done.
- 7:01I am the fixer. This is what I do, we will take care
- 7:05of it. We will take care of it. All of these words that
- 7:09are stuck in my head, we will do this, I got you.
- 7:13Don't worry, we'll take care of it. All along, I wasn't taking care
- 7:17of me, I just didn't recognize it, I was on autopilot.
- 7:21As a lot of us are even, I don't wanna say advanced agents,
- 7:25that makes it sound like we're in our 90s, but now
- 7:29even farther and down the road, people who are older than...
- 7:32You were saying you were 24, 25, many years later, 10,
- 7:3720, 30 years later. A lot of us are still saying that same
- 7:41thing... Yes, a lot of us are still saying that because we're leaders,
- 7:46we are leaders that feel like we have to keep moving,
- 7:51and for me, being a leader, I was an athlete, I was an
- 7:54executive for three biggest box companies, I leave. Now, as a spiritual
- 8:01leader and into my spiritual realm, I am a healer, and that's still
- 8:06a leader role where we have to still let ourselves now,
- 8:10okay, we're still human and we still gotta work on us.
- 8:13We go, hits you and you're like, I'm the fixer so I can
- 8:18handle it. I'm okay. Yeah, exactly. So at what point did you...
- 8:23I mean, you came from being an athlete, elite athlete into the corporate
- 8:28world, and then... How did you manage that? Is that why you turn
- 8:35to the substance abuse that you did, was it to help you manage
- 8:40the overwhelming task of trying to be perfect and manage everybody...
- 8:45Well, I think for me, I was never a big drinker.
- 8:48My drugs of choice where cocaine, Molly and alcohol, but cocaine was introduced
- 8:55to me around 26, and that made it where I could drink more.
- 8:59At the time, I was partying. For me, I had a degree,
- 9:02I'm making 68, 60, 70000 a year. I run in teams of 300
- 9:08to 400 people running remodels, I honestly... Just living the life of a
- 9:1326 year 26 year old, right? That's a lot of responsibility for a
- 9:1826 year old. It is, and a lot of that stress that I
- 9:22was holding on to, I was festering. And then when I get off,
- 9:26I'd say, Oh. Like everybody else says, I just need to drink.
- 9:30Let me just click some take a drink everything the TV and the
- 9:34media and people do on a regular... I was doing... Now,
- 9:38I'm just relaxing. They make it seem like you gotta wax with a
- 9:42drink, that's how you relax. Yeah, our societies are messed up in that
- 9:46regard, that... And. Kick your feet up. I'm like, Well, can't we just
- 9:51have tea or a. Footloose... We're having to... You over here.
- 9:57You did have it. Come in a good conversation. You know?
- 10:01Yeah, but that's what I was used to. But instead it was,
- 10:05Get off working party. Get out, work. Where are we going next?
- 10:09I traveled a lot, I partied a lot, I had a lot of
- 10:11fun, but that little bit of drink and stuff and all of that
- 10:15was creeping up on me slowly it was creeping up on me,
- 10:18the stresses were starting to get me, and I was maintaining it I
- 10:22had many accolades, I was doing great, but I secretly was still drinking,
- 10:27and I had people around me that were drinking, all of us were
- 10:31drinking to get through or reward ourselves for like our long 13 and
- 10:3614 hour days that we had no boundaries to set for ourself,
- 10:42and say, I'm on my nine hours and going home, but not us,
- 10:47we had to take it to the limit, right, we had to fix
- 10:49everything and then work ourselves to that 14 hours and be on auto
- 10:54pilot and then go home and drink and party before it became a
- 10:59cycle, and I hope you're not hung over 'cause you know you're gonna
- 11:01have to run a whole team of people calling you, but you'll make
- 11:05it... You know... Yeah, so how long did that go on for?
- 11:10Oh. That went on for a minute for me, it went on for
- 11:13about, I wanna say probably 13 years of my life there too,
- 11:19I just was chasing my high, the cocaine got more...
- 11:24I was like having a hard time waking up, but I was still
- 11:27getting there, I was still focused, I could still do everything,
- 11:31but that's because of my autopilot brain, I was so used to what
- 11:35I was doing that it was just second nature for me and my
- 11:39body, it needed the substance, it wanted it, it needed it,
- 11:44and that's what it was going to get regardless.
- 11:47And then I had something pretty shocking happened to me,
- 11:51I went in to work one day and I was pretty...
- 11:53I was pretty hungover and I had a client, not a client,
- 11:56but an associate who he was missing for a few days,
- 11:59and I knew that he didn't have anywhere to live, so I had
- 12:02put in a lot of proposal proposals for him to get housing from
- 12:07us and finally, it came through. So I was really excited for him
- 12:12to come to work. I was hoping he came to work that day,
- 12:15we couldn't get a hold of him, and sure enough he showed up
- 12:18and... So I had the conversation with him when he walked in and
- 12:22I said, I got some good news for you, and he had this
- 12:24feeling that I was just like, Oh yeah, okay, well, I gotta go
- 12:28to the bathroom. So he kinda walks by me, goes to the bathroom,
- 12:31and I never really paid attention to my intuition or...
- 12:35But then I got a real pit in my stomach feeling,
- 12:38so I said, You know what, I'm just gonna make his day a
- 12:40little bit better, and when he comes out the bathroom, I'm gonna give
- 12:42him the paper and then he'll be good to go, so I got
- 12:46closer to the bathroom, and these feelings, I just had this really anxious
- 12:52feeling that I've never really felt before, and I walked to the bathroom,
- 12:56I waited for about two, three minutes, and I opened the door and
- 12:59he shot himself... Oh my God. And I fainted.
- 13:05Yeah. Wow. And I think is, right then and there,
- 13:10I tanith. Else, what else could you do.
- 13:16It? I don't even have words like right now, I can't imagine what
- 13:21it would have been like for you or anyone to walk in on
- 13:26that, I cried... I didn't cry. Actually, excuse me, I did not cry.
- 13:31I went through a series of classes that helped me get through it,
- 13:34or supposedly helped me get through it, all the rest of the trauma
- 13:38that I had that I have not addressed, it just piled up.
- 13:42Right, so remember, we just put the H on our chest and we
- 13:45handle it, but in our reality, I was having nightmares as well,
- 13:50and my body was hurting, so my body started hurting again and I
- 13:54didn't know what was going on. Six months after that, I was diagnosed
- 13:58with lupus, which was my fourth autoimmune condition, so I had to immediately
- 14:03jump on what they call methotrexate form of chemo and try to get
- 14:07it under control. So now I'm having nightmares, my body's hurting,
- 14:12I'm drinking and drugging to try to get through the day to try
- 14:15to numb the pain and the hurt, 'cause I haven't cried about this
- 14:19by killing himself or me being sick, and I'm still going to work
- 14:24and working 13 hour days, and now I'm having panic attacks if I
- 14:28walk in the store because the bathroom and the blackness that was going
- 14:34on in the nightmares, and I'm like, Oh my God, I got a
- 14:37drink to do this, I got... I was slowly but surely,
- 14:42Laurie, slight, and I was taking and I was holding up.
- 14:48But I was getting to that point where I'm in a deeper BIS
- 14:51and I don't know when I'm gonna hit the ground. Everything was starting
- 14:55to crumble around me, and I didn't know how to ask for help,
- 15:00I'm the fixer, I'm not the person to a supposed to be...
- 15:03You're the one people come to... Not somebody. Yeah. Not the a spark,
- 15:07a lock to handle this, you know what I mean? But inside,
- 15:10I was crying, I was hurting, I just could not find it in
- 15:13myself to ask for help before you know it, after I finally realized
- 15:18I was just... I was starting to get real, real sick and I've
- 15:22dropped weight again, and thanks, all of these dictates auto immune,
- 15:27they started attacking me, my body just couldn't make it, I remember being
- 15:31called into the corporate office... I remember thinking, I'm probably gonna
- 15:36get fired. I have in quite a bit now, I think the gigs
- 15:42up here... They're catching on. Yeah, they are catching on. 'cause Sparkle
- 15:47is not looking too good. And I got in there and they asked
- 15:50me, they said, Hey, so, you're doing such a great job.
- 15:53I would like to promote you how... I thought the ground,
- 15:57I said, Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, no. I'm sorry, but I've got to
- 16:03save my life today, I appreciate it, but I'm gonna have to say
- 16:08No, this is my exit interview, and I got to get myself help,
- 16:13and at that point, I walked off, I remember
- 16:19I couldn't find which door to leave, I. Like you wanna make a
- 16:23grand exit, but you can't find the rights are... You're like,
- 16:26Oh, that's the closet. Never mind. How do I...
- 16:32I said, Oh great, you know. You're like, Yeah, I'm noble.
- 16:37Oh, how do I get out of here?
- 16:42So I didn't even look back on... I didn't wanna look back and
- 16:45they'd be like, I grill, look at her. So it's a US...
- 16:51As I kept going, I got in the car, I called my mom
- 16:54and I said, I left from a job... You know, I left my
- 16:57job and. I'm gonna go get him. And everybody's like, Yeah,
- 17:02and I called my aunt and she's like, Alright, so we're gonna make
- 17:05arrangements, and we were trying to do all of that, and then I
- 17:08decided to go with my ex fiance up to Black Hawk for one
- 17:11last hurrah. Of course, one. Just do everything.
- 17:18Got up there. We got into a big fight. I drank one last
- 17:22tequila shot and I ended up in jail. Wow.
- 17:27And that was when I knew they had me breathe and I
- 17:32had the breathalyzer, I had had many breathalyzer, but this one was pretty
- 17:35big, it was a 04, it was a 04, and I was like,
- 17:39How are you even still alive? Right. With all the medications and everything
- 17:45else, but then it was a 04, Laurie and I was talking like
- 17:51this. Like how we are talking, right? It did amazing. And they were
- 17:56like, I was like, Actually, I have a plan for you to be
- 18:00able to organize your little faster to get me in to jail.
- 18:06To help you with your organization. Here, you cannot turn off.
- 18:12Or the corporate and. Autopilot. Right, so I knew then
- 18:19it's time to get help. I was scared,
- 18:21but I went on ahead and I made the transition. After I got
- 18:24out of jail, I took off or I took a... Helena was in
- 18:29jail for about three days because they had to make sure that my
- 18:33levels came down, the levels were not... They were up there for a
- 18:38long time, so I was in about the stand, then he went straight
- 18:41to a program... Well then, yeah, I got home. I still
- 18:46drink more about three to three or four days after that,
- 18:50and then I was like, I am just getting sick,
- 18:53I gotta get some help, so I remember clearing everything out of my
- 18:56truck and threw it down on the yard.
- 18:59I was like, I gotta go to treatment. And got to my grandparents
- 19:03house and my grandparents took me to treatment, the funny thing is,
- 19:08is that I was in the back seat with them,
- 19:11and they put the Child lock on 'cause they thought I might be
- 19:14or whatever the youths... So they put the Child lock on and we
- 19:20finally get to Parker Valley Hope, that was where I went first,
- 19:24I went to two treatment centers, but Parker value, hope we get there,
- 19:28and when they go to get out, they don't know how to turn
- 19:31the child lock off. Okay, so they're like, Well, Spark, can you let
- 19:39yourself out? I said, Well, I can't get it. They said,
- 19:42Well, we put the Child lock on, Can you help us get it
- 19:45off. So I helped them get up, I got out, ended up in
- 19:50treatment, I blew a 03 6 going into treatment as well,
- 19:53and then I started my journey of recovery, and I have...
- 19:57I have not looked back. And it has been an amazing journey for
- 20:01me. But I had to do it for me. Gosh, I was...
- 20:04A good point of me was worried about what my family was gonna
- 20:07think, I was worried about what work would think, like a lot of
- 20:11people are like, We don't even think this girl was drinking at all...
- 20:14Shouldn't even look like it. We didn't even notice it. Even now,
- 20:17when I do podcasts like this, a lot of times people are like,
- 20:20I did not know you were living that life,
- 20:22and I was living that life... That's incredible.
- 20:26That you were able to keep it under wraps. So well,
- 20:30that people you were closest to didn't even know... Yeah. And I think,
- 20:34you know, like my father, my father is really close to me,
- 20:36my brothers, they started to really get it. They started to get it.
- 20:41I was very combative, I was in denial, I don't have a problem.
- 20:45I know my stuff, I fix everything. I was in executive mode,
- 20:49autopilot mode, which a lot of us are in, we don't want to
- 20:53feel like we were defeated or like we fall, although sometimes these types
- 20:58of things are not failures at all, they are just lessons and they're
- 21:02great experiences, and they're not good or bad, they just are what they
- 21:06are, and they are part of our union, they're part of our due
- 21:10and getting out of the shame and the guilt is the hardest part.
- 21:14You're supposed to be sparkle, you're supposed to be able to handle this.
- 21:16And being able to raise your hand and say,
- 21:19I don't got this. It's a scary feeling at first, but
- 21:24you into yourself and you start to realize that you gotta learn more
- 21:27and more about yourself every day to understand where you're going...
- 21:31Yeah, and be vulnerable enough to allow people
- 21:36to say, This is where I am and
- 21:39I need... Yes. And let it go relinquish, control,
- 21:44find and follow those layers of surrender, there's layers of surrender.
- 21:52And each part of your heart, the blockages we create in the walls
- 21:57we put up, when we are doing things that are not right,
- 22:01it is just amazing when those block or just start to come down
- 22:04due to the layers of your surrender that you say, I'm ready to
- 22:08do this for me, and it just pains your whole way of thinking
- 22:12because it's not about what others think, it's about how you feel about
- 22:15you and what you're gonna do to change it for you,
- 22:19changing your narrative and believing in you, changes those layers of surrender
- 22:23and it takes it real deep for you and it helps you find
- 22:27those kinds of happiness, you know? Yeah, it's like I'm peeling an onion.
- 22:32Yes, the layers and layers and layers. And
- 22:35when you are focused on un peeling and revealing who you are and
- 22:41doing the work on yourself, it changes your relationships with those around
- 22:45you... Oh yes. And the action, your action to you
- 22:50helps other thing around you evolve. I tell a lot of my
- 22:55break down the serenity prayer and what it means to you,
- 22:58and having the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom
- 23:03to know when it's not yours to keep is one of the greatest
- 23:07blessings anybody could ever follow through for themselves, because if you're
- 23:12not focusing on you, how are you gonna help anybody else?
- 23:15You know. We have the thoughts that if we go and we give
- 23:19everybody this advice and where the fixer and we do, this will be
- 23:22good, but then where are we at? We just stand, we stay stagnant,
- 23:26we just sit still, but that's unrealistic for us to find out where
- 23:31we fit and to find our gifts and find things that...
- 23:35Find our clarity. In order for us to find the clarity,
- 23:38you've gotta know where we're going and what we want, but if we
- 23:40don't take the time with ourselves and figure out who we are and
- 23:45learn more and more about ourselves every day, What are we doing...
- 23:48You know, what are we doing? Right, exactly. Yeah, that's
- 23:53a lot of the purpose in the program that I run,
- 23:57the F being fine experience is helping people get that clarity around
- 24:04what do they want, and who are they getting that quiet to hear...
- 24:10You talked about your intuition getting quite enough to hear that inner
- 24:16voice and then finding the courage to follow it... Yes, and not only
- 24:21that, but finding the courage to actually walk through the emotions that
- 24:26you've probably been suppressing that you don't even realize pressing because
- 24:30you're on autopilot and you're so used to it, right, that it just
- 24:35becomes a part of you where you just suppress your emotions,
- 24:38and then you just walk around them, you never address them,
- 24:41suppress it on them is not even acknowledged. Yeah, how do you suppress
- 24:47them, you suppress them by fixing other things for other people,
- 24:50you suppress them by your addictions... Right. And then what it does,
- 24:55it bogs your clarity, there is no clarity there, when you don't walk
- 25:00through what's actually bothering you, figure out your why,
- 25:04research what is bothering you, so that you can move forward,
- 25:08relinquish that control and free your mind, your heart and your spirit and
- 25:14become one well oil machine for yourself, because
- 25:18you know that your emotions were temporary, not permanent, but you know
- 25:21what it feels like, and you're okay with sitting in it,
- 25:24these are not eaten. Although you say you know that your emotions are
- 25:29temporary, I think that a lot of people don't necessarily know that
- 25:34they feel emotions and they feel like I'm going to be here forever,
- 25:38and the truth is, if you allow yourself to feel them,
- 25:41that's how you move through them, exactly. And you gain that resistance
- 25:46because then you know the next emotion is coming where it becomes a
- 25:51part of you... It just becomes a part of you where you're like,
- 25:55Oh, how do I feel now? Or what is that? Anger or feeling
- 26:00like, Oh, that hurt my feelings. Talk to yourself. You know what I
- 26:05mean? Be curious to watch yourself, I say it all the time,
- 26:07because as you find that these things about yourself that you're like,
- 26:12Wow, that really set me off, that's a trigger,
- 26:17or a word or a song, or waking up in the morning.
- 26:22It's just really not my thing. Maybe, right, but now it
- 26:26out and then be able to tell people what you want.
- 26:31Know it and then honor it, exactly. Honoring and step into your power
- 26:37while you do it, when you honor it, now you can manifest the
- 26:41belief in it, now you're setting... That's a totally different level,
- 26:46manifesting your beliefs and who you are because you've honored what you've
- 26:50been through and you respect it, and once you do that,
- 26:54your demeanor changes the way you walk, the way you talk,
- 26:57the way you look, just your glow. You're walking through it.
- 27:01And you're doing it for you, and that's what makes you special.
- 27:05Everybody's journey is different. So how are you gonna do it?
- 27:08What's gonna make you a little different than everybody else, 'cause we
- 27:10are different... Right, exactly, yes. And owning and walking in your own
- 27:16power. The gift of stepping into my power, I think I've had so
- 27:20many different elements with... And that's why I was compelled to write
- 27:24my book being a better me for me, because all of the simple
- 27:28basic tips and tricks I do daily have helped me step into a
- 27:32power that is... I am so deserving of now, I mean,
- 27:36using word like deserving and capable and entitled to... Those are a totally
- 27:41different realm for what I used to use,
- 27:44using words like, I will walk on my own, but I will walk
- 27:49with you as you figure out what you're doing... Changes are part of
- 27:53our conversation where I saying, We are in this together. We got this
- 27:59because honestly, your journey is your journey, and it's for you,
- 28:03I can support you, I can't keep it for me, or take it
- 28:07with me, Right together, we can walk together in our journeys and help
- 28:12support each other as we grow and step into our power and move
- 28:16forward in a positive manner. It as individuals and
- 28:23as support for each other, nobody's here alone, but like you said,
- 28:27we're all walking our own journey... Yeah. It's kind of an odd juxtaposition
- 28:32of, we're not alone, but it's our own journey, so you don't have
- 28:37to do it alone, but you're still... You're not, you're not...
- 28:42How do we describe this? You're not doing it alone, but it is
- 28:45your own thing, nobody else is on that same journey as you are...
- 28:49Exactly. So I am a recovery coach who helps leaders, help themselves be
- 28:56the best version of them, that means that I walk alongside them,
- 29:01but I do not make decisions for them because that's not mine to
- 29:04make or to hold, but it is important for me as a coach,
- 29:08and to me, into the individual to hold space while they figure it
- 29:13out, and that is inspiring because when someone has time to think,
- 29:20they have time to actually know themselves and they have someone to consult
- 29:23with every so often, watching someone take their life back is so amazing.
- 29:31And you can see people saying, I'm owning this because I deserve this,
- 29:35and they start to change the verbiage, they start to change how they
- 29:38feel, and they start to realize the differences between being strong and
- 29:44being strong, and that is being to work on you. And strong enough
- 29:50to say, I need help. How can I fix this with me holding
- 29:55myself accountable for my actions in my own self reflection and realizing
- 30:00how did I play a part in where I'm at today?
- 30:04How did I do that? Those questions are hard to ask yourself,
- 30:08especially if you're in addiction, or if you're in denial, right.
- 30:12But when you immediately tab the strength to ask yourself those questions,
- 30:17it takes you to a totally different power in a totally different level,
- 30:20you never thought ever ceased to be there, and it shows you that
- 30:25you just... You're like, Wow, I haven't been seeing... I haven't been looking
- 30:31at myself, I've been watching why everybody else is the reason why I
- 30:35can't do... And so finally, we do start realizing I'm the reason why
- 30:39I can't do it. I was doing, you know?
- 30:44Yeah, and now a lot of people are not willing to take that
- 30:47responsibility. But until you are... That's when things really start changing.
- 30:52And you said something about deserving, and I think a lot of times
- 30:57we've been taught that to say I deserve
- 31:01means that you are somehow especially entitled in a negative, bad way,
- 31:07and that's not what we're talking about here, we're talking about just because
- 31:11you are... However you wanna describe it, child of God, you are of
- 31:16this universe, you are deserving, you are knowing or starting to understand
- 31:23your work. See, a lot of times we downplay our work because we
- 31:27don't know that we haven't explored ourselves enough to know just how strong
- 31:33this temple is, this body is, when you start to embrace every piece
- 31:38of it and you look at it, you examine it and you realize
- 31:41it you're able to say, Yeah, no, I'm worthy of so much more,
- 31:46I can do so much more. I know that because I know myself,
- 31:50and because I trust my body, I trust in myself to know that
- 31:55I can get there, and I'm gonna need some help along the way.
- 31:59Definitely, but okay, I'm Sally and I know I'm grounded and I'm ready
- 32:05to take things by storm, and that right there is a strong way
- 32:10to be, but it's a wonderful filling in its whole, it makes you
- 32:14home, makes you congruent and complete with your shadow side, and your regular
- 32:20side, right? 'cause you got in both. That is where...
- 32:24So much power in that. So much power.
- 32:29Yeah, you are definitely on a mission, I'm so
- 32:34grateful, like I said, to have had you on here to talk about
- 32:38your journey, and before we go first, what is your hype song?
- 32:43The song that you listen to that gets you
- 32:46pumped up, energized, enthusiastic, more than you already are, 'cause clearly
- 32:51you are already very enthusiastic person, you know what is the song that
- 32:56takes it to the next notch up, so. The next level.
- 32:59Okay, so I remember that I was having a not a great day,
- 33:03and I remember having to sit any motions and be like,
- 33:06Oh, I gotta take the good with the bad, it just is what
- 33:09it is, and I gotta just sit in it and let the day
- 33:12come to me when I'm in the car. And out of nowhere,
- 33:15Maurice make it happen. Comes on. And ever since then,
- 33:22I've always, I've always heard it, I've always loved it. But I heard
- 33:27those words and they spoke to me, and ever since then,
- 33:30when I'm getting ready to do a speech, when I'm getting ready to
- 33:34even write a book or whatever, I just think of those words to
- 33:38make it happen piece, and I say, I'm gonna make happen and I
- 33:42get pumped up, like I'm get ready to play a basketball game and
- 33:45it's a championship. Such a good song. Yes, abalone it.
- 33:51Alright, so if someone wants to get in touch with you and
- 33:55learn, have a conversation with you, tell us how people can reach you
- 34:01and then also how they can get your book. So if you do
- 34:05wanna get a hold to me first thing as far as if there
- 34:07are any emergencies or whatever, there is a crisis line that you can
- 34:10call, whether it's suicide, mental health, substance use, whatever that
- 34:15is, make sure you make those calls to take care of yourself.
- 34:18My website is sparkle Linz dot com. I do have a promo right
- 34:23now that's going on, that if you buy my book
- 34:26on Amazon and take a selfie with it and send it to
- 34:31the particular link that was given, you will receive 30 quotes in 30
- 34:36videos for me free of charge. So the book is a wonderful tool,
- 34:42a wonderful element, but the website alone talks about if you would like
- 34:46to be a recovery coach, it talks about If you're looking for recovery
- 34:50coaching, there's also a panel on there if you wanna wear your sparkle
- 34:54shirts or hats. So there's just a lot going on on that website
- 34:58and it just came out, so sparkle Lindsey dot com will give you
- 35:01everything that you need to get a hold of me. Fantastic,
- 35:05we'll have a link in the show notes to the website as well
- 35:09as to the link that you just talked about, so that people could
- 35:12get that Special download after they buy the book, so... Cool,
- 35:16wonderful, thank you so much for joining me today. Parklands on fine is
- 35:21a four letter word. Man, thank you for having me and I just
- 35:24wanna say it's an honor. It's always good to speak with you,
- 35:27love watching your stuff on LinkedIn, so I always watch your thing,
- 35:31so I'll be crazy excited to keep it going. Okay, yeah.
- 35:35Well, thank you.