Latest / FBC Boerne Youth / The Gift You Need // 1 John 4:7, 1 Cor 7:7

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The Gift You Need // 1 John 4:7, 1 Cor 7:7 · FBC Boerne Youth

0:31
SPEAKER_00: Well, one day when I was two years old, my mom took my sister and I to a check caching place.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh who in here knows what an actual like paper check is?
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Is that okay?
0:43
SPEAKER_00: So we still generally know what that is.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, a check caching place is where you went when you wanted to get money like on hand at the moment.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: You wanted cash in hand.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: And uh it was kind of like a physical ATM, but it felt a lot stabbier.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Like it felt like you might be a victim of a crime when you went there.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and there was a pretty good chance that somebody is arguing with a cashier.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: But my mom was waiting in line, and my sister and I think, you know what would be fun?
1:09
SPEAKER_00: Let's swing on this really big table in the corner.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: And so we go and we grab onto the lip and we're swinging back and forth.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Only problem is about 45 seconds in, we swing out at the same time, and that table comes crashing down uh on my right hand.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: My sister, thankfully, was able to get out from under it.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but as a little two-year-old, so for those of you who've seen Michael right now, imagine just slightly bigger than him, a table the size of like that one that we have out there in the gallery completely crushed my right hand, shattered all four of my fingers.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: You can still see to this day, like I've got scars from where the bone came through the skin.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: My middle finger is larger because it healed wrong.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it was all sorts of jacked up.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: I went to surgery.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and afterwards, I didn't even really remember it, but I always hated it because I had the scar.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: And you know, in elementary school, your finger looks weird and you get made fun of.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: And so it felt like it was this curse that I had to carry around with me for the rest of my life.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: I was super self-conscious.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: Like I wouldn't want to raise my right hand in worship, I'd raise my left hand.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Like, it was just this thing I felt was like a plague.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: But eventually I get over it.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: And so, fast forward to age 21, uh, and I'm in college and I'm about to graduate uh and get married.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And throughout college, because college is expensive, amen, to my young adult leaders in here, uh, I had racked up some student loan debt.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: And um, we're trying to get married, so we're trying to figure out how we're gonna make this work.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: And so I remembered that after I had that accident with my hand, um, I ended up getting kind of like the settlement thing.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Basically, there was money set aside.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if my parents like sued or threatened to sue.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, it was our fault, so I don't know why they did.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: But either way, there was a settlement here.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I I knew that there was money available there, but it was set to pay out over time because when you're doing this for a two-year-old, you don't know what type of person that two-year-old is going to turn out to be.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: And so I remember that commercial that you always used to see on TV, the JG Wentworth.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Nobody knows what comes next.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a few people.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: I heard the cash now people over here.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: A few of you.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: You dated yourself.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so I called JG Wentworth, and uh I ended up selling off that annuity.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: And what do you know?
3:12
SPEAKER_00: The amount of money that I got for that annuity was almost the exact amount that I owed for my student loans.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: And so Christine and I were able to move into our season of life being completely debt-free.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: And the crazy thing is, the thing that I had always seen as a curse ended up being a total gift.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: So, why am I telling you that story?
3:33
SPEAKER_00: Well, last week we started our relationship series, and we started by talking about friendship.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: We talked about the truth that God created us for community.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: He created it's not good for man to be alone.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: We need one another.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: We need Christ-centered friendships to help us through the hard times in life and to encourage us and to push us to be more like Jesus.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: And we also talked about that relationships are pivotal.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: All of the big moments in our life almost happen in or through relationships.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: And so we said for the next two weeks, we're gonna walk through the two stages of relationships that everybody in this room is either in or will be in soon.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: And we said that's gonna be singleness and dating.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: And this week is singleness.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: And the reason that I tell that story is because for many of you, you view single like I viewed my jack up fingers, like it was a curse, like it was this thing that was a problem and you wanted to get rid of.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't like being single.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And what we're gonna see is that singleness, when it's lived the right way, is actually a gift.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: And not only is singleness a gift, but until you start to see it that way, you might be sabotaging every relationship before it even begins.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: And not just dating relationships, but any relationship.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: And so what we're gonna see here tonight is we're gonna learn a few things.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: One is what you need to get right before you try to get anything right in any sort of relationship with a human being.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: And then two, we're gonna look at what is singleness actually for?
4:56
SPEAKER_00: And tonight's message is gonna be a bit different.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: There's no like long passage that talks about relationships.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: However, we can look at different passages in scripture uh and pull truth from those and apply it to our lives.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: And so we don't want to take anything out of context, but it's gonna look a little different than what I normally do.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: And so the first place we're gonna be is in 1 John chapter 4, starting in verse 7.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: So if you have your Bible, 1 John 4 7, it's gonna be really close to the end of your Bible.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's 1 John, 2nd John, 3rd John, Revelation.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: So it's right there.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: Um 1 John 4 7.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: It's just one verse here up front.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: So if you don't have your Bible, it will be on the screen.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: So would you pray with me real quick?
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Will you take just a moment uh to pray for yourself, to pray for your heart, that the Lord would prepare you for whatever he has for you tonight, and that you would have open ears and open eyes to see whatever truth he's calling you into.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it might be a change or a conviction or maybe it's encouragement.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Just pray that God would open your eyes to whatever he wants you to see tonight.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: And then would you pray for me that I would preach the word, uh, that he would be at the center of it, that the gospel would be the main thing preached tonight, that we might have practical tips and helpers and things, but at the end of the day, we want God to be glorified.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: That I just hide behind his word.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Let me pray.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: God, we thank you so much for tonight, and we pray that uh even as we talk about a thing that has been a source of stress or anxiety for a lot of people, or uh some of us may not have ever thought about, God, we just pray that we would see the truth that you have for us tonight, that we'd apply it to our lives and we would leave here changed by the power of the Holy Spirit.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: Father, we love you and praise you.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: Praise things in Jesus' name.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: And everybody said, Amen.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: All right, so what in the world does that passage have to do with singleness?
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the thing.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: Like we said, uh, the Bible does have some passages on romance and relationships and all that sort of stuff, but that's not the majority of what the Bible has to say.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh, the Bible is one unified story of God's redemption plan for humanity.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: It shows us who He is and what He's done for us.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: And so that's important to know because it's this reminder that there are far more important things in your life than your relationship status.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that God doesn't care.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I think God does deeply care.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: But the relationship that God is most concerned about is your relationship with Him.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: And in fact, until you get your relationship with Him right, you're never gonna be able to get a relationship with another broken human being right.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: You've got to get your relationship with God right.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: You can't bring God-sized needs to another person.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Because if you approach a relationship trying to find satisfaction or happiness or peace from that other person, uh, you're you're gonna be using them for your own selfish desires.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna suffocate them.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Uh, one of my favorite authors and preachers on this topic says this.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: He says that desperation leads to exploitation.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh, that if I come to someone looking to get my needs met, right?
8:07
SPEAKER_00: If I need this boy or this girl to make me happy, or if I need this boy or this girl to help me forget about my troubled home life, or if I need this boy or girl to make me feel popular or loved, you are going to use that person for yourself.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: And that's the opposite of love.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's it's the complete opposite of love.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Love is the sacrificial, self-giving thing.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: And what's gonna happen is eventually you're gonna realize that person can't fill that hole in your life.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: They can't complete you.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: They're also a broken, imperfect person.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: And then you'll just start to think, well, maybe something's wrong with them, and you'll just move on to someone else, and that cycle will repeat over and over and over again.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: I've seen it play out a thousand times.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: I knew a friend in college who uh really struggled with this, and she she loved the Lord, but she had kind of a struggling home life of sorts, and um she would constantly try to run to other relationships to try and fix that because she was desperate to feel the love and acceptance she never got from her earthly father.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: And that led to one of two things.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: One, uh, it put so much pressure on that person she was in a relationship with that they never lasted more than six months because she was trying to get something from that other person that they could not offer.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Also, it led to her going places and doing things and making compromises that she never thought she would make.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: Why?
9:28
SPEAKER_00: Because she viewed that other person as her source of love.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: And when you think another person is your entire source of life and love and happiness, you'll do a lot of messed up things to try and hold on to it.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna death grip onto that relationship.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, hey, I shouldn't be doing these things with someone who's not my husband or my wife, but this person's my happiness.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: I can't lose this person, so I guess I'll just do it so they don't leave.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Or, hey, this person doesn't really treat me right.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: They don't really treat me with the kindness and the lovingness and the respect that I need, but but they're there for me and they pay attention to me sometimes.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: So I guess I'll just hang around and do whatever I need to do to make them stay.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: See, she was desperate for love.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: She didn't have a source of love, and so she ran to someone else to be that source of love, and it ultimately was a well that ran dry.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: And that's where this passage comes in, right?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: To go back to our text.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: This is John riding to a network of churches, and they've been trying to deal with some people who are uh leaving the fellowship and doing uh they're they're false teachers.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: They're they're sharing false truth, not the gospel.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: And in this passage, he gives them this command.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: He says, love one another, but his reason is not because I said so or because God said so, right?
10:39
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, this is a command, but his reason is that because love comes from God.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: See, John understands that true love flows down from you from the God of the universe.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: We just got through a series where we talked about God's name and character, right?
10:52
SPEAKER_00: And we talked about God is love, he's compassionate, he's gracious, he's slow to anger, he's abounding in loving kindness.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: God is the source of love.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: He created it, he's the author of it.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: And so for us to be able to share that with anybody, we have to be connected to the source of love.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: We have to be connected to God.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: So, how do I do that, right?
11:14
SPEAKER_00: How do I get connected to this source of love that is God?
11:16
SPEAKER_00: That sounds like really spiritual and unhelpful.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, first you have to actually understand just how much God loves you.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, how often do we throw around that term, like, I know God loves me, God loves me.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: But have you ever sat down and really thought about how much?
11:28
SPEAKER_00: And there's nowhere that God's love is more clearly seen than at the cross.
11:33
SPEAKER_00: Because at the cross, God sent his son, he chased after us, he pursued us, and we even when we were running in the opposite direction.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: Scripture says that while we were enemies of God, we were rebels, we we wanted nothing to do with God.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: It's not like we were begging hands and knees, like, please God, come save us.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: We were running in the opposite direction as fast as we could, yet he pursued us.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: And then God sacrificed his only son, not against Jesus' will, that God the Father, God the Son both said, we're going to pay this price for their sin.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Sin deserves punishment.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: We want a God who punishes evil, but what happens when we're the evil ones?
12:09
SPEAKER_00: We deserve punishment.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: But God said, I love them so much that I'm going to take that punishment onto myself, that Jesus on the cross became our sin, that God's wrath was poured onto him so that our sin was punished.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: But God took that punishment himself so that we can be his children.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: And then God made the promise to stay.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: He promises to put his Holy Spirit in those who believe, meaning that when you make a profession of faith, when you get saved, God puts his Holy Spirit in you.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: God's presence lives inside of you.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: And he says that you're going to be sealed with the Holy Spirit, that I'm never going to leave you.
12:44
SPEAKER_00: Then guess what?
12:45
SPEAKER_00: You might not live a perfect life.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: You won't live a perfect life on the other side of coming to faith in Jesus.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: But even then, you might need to confess, you might need to repent, you might need to make things right with God, but it's not so that you can become a child again.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: Right?
12:57
SPEAKER_00: If Layton screws up, if she if she hits me, is she gonna need to apologize to me?
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Right?
13:03
SPEAKER_00: She's gonna need to apologize, but is that so that she can be my daughter again?
13:07
SPEAKER_00: No.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Because her behavior is not what made me a daughter, made her my daughter in the first place.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: Right?
13:13
SPEAKER_00: She didn't do anything to make me love her, and so she's not gonna do anything to remove my love, right?
13:19
SPEAKER_00: And so God shows his love at the cross, and so we know that if we, as Romans 10 9 says, declare with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, and we believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead, we will be saved.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: We'll become his children, and we become connected to that ultimate source of life.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: And then Paul says, uh actually earlier on in Romans that then neither life nor death, nor angels, nor demons, nor present or future, that nothing can separate us from the love of God.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: And you get to spend the rest of your life learning more and more about what that means, about resting in that love, building your life on that love.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: And then you're freed to actually love someone selfish selflessly, because you have a source of love.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to look to someone else to do something that only God can do.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to look to a guy or a girl to make me happy or to make me feel like I have some value or self-worth or I'm high enough on the social ladder because I've got God.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to run to someone else and cling to them out of fear because I can just care for them, because I'm free.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: I've got everything that I need in God.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: And so I can pour that love that I receive to God into every other person I run into in life.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: You don't need someone to be your savior because you have one.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: And this isn't just dating relationships.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: Look, I get for a lot of you, like romantic relationship is nowhere near on the radar.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: Good.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: Praise God.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: This is the same for your friends, for your parents, for your teammates.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: You can run to anyone in your life and try to make them your main thing, right?
14:48
SPEAKER_00: That's the definition of an idol.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: It's it's a good thing that becomes a God thing.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: And so the first thing we have to get right in any relationship is that God is our source of love.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: If we want to be a source of love, we have to have a source of love.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: And so maybe you're thinking, hey, that's great, but my relationship with God is good, uh, and I'm still not in a relationship, and I don't really want to be.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: So what now?
15:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, the answer to that actually comes when we start to understand what the Bible actually has to say about the stage of singleness.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: And the best place to do that is in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 7.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: So you can go ahead and flip there.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: It's going to be to the left in your Bible from 1 John.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh, Paul is dealing with some issues in the Corinthian church, and let me tell you, the Corinthian church is like jacked up, like like messed up stuff.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And so he's talking to them about marriage and relationships and trying to fix a lot of things that are going on.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and he actually says this really surprising thing in verse 7.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: He says, This, I wish that all of you were as I am.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: He's talking about single.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Paul never got married, he never had kids.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: Paul lived his entire life completely single.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: The guy who wrote 13 of the books of the New Testament, right?
15:57
SPEAKER_00: He says, I wish that all of you were as I am, but each of you has your own gift from God.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: One has this gift and another has that.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: And so he says, I'm single and I wish that you guys were like me, that you were single, because they're having all these issues in their marriages.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: And now what he's not saying is that being married or being in a relationship is a sin.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: But catch the fact that he says, This is how I am, but each of you have your own gift, which implies that what Paul has of singleness is a gift.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: He he's calling singleness a gift, which is the opposite of how we usually think about it, right?
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Think back to the illustration.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was in high school, I viewed singleness as a curse.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: Like it was a problem to be solved.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Like everyone was in a relationship, everyone was dating or at least talking.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and if you weren't, that meant something was wrong with you.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: And so you had to do something to fix that.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: And it was this immense pressure.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: And if you weren't, you there was this almost like guilt and shame you felt, like you were embarrassed to admit it.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: And if it's honest, it's because a lot of us look to our relationship status to find our worth and our value.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: But like we just talked about, your relationship status and romance and all that sort of stuff is nowhere near the more most important thing in your life, your relationship with God is.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: And Paul knows that.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: But then the question still remains all right, Paul can say singleness is a gift, but what does he mean by that?
17:17
SPEAKER_00: Like how?
17:17
SPEAKER_00: Why?
17:18
SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't feel very gift-worthy.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's what he goes on to say later in verse 32.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: So if you'll skip down with me a little bit, uh, 1 Corinthians 7, 32.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: He says, I would like you to be free from concern, uh, from concern.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: He says, An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, how he can please the Lord.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: And an unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in an undivided devotion to the Lord.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And so here he's explaining his point.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: He's saying, This is why I wish for you to be single.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: And he he compares someone who's married to someone who's unmarried.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: He says, Somebody who's unmarried has all this time and all this energy to devote to the Lord and can focus solely on that, but someone who's married has to keep up with stuff.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: It talks about that the husband has to deal with the affairs of the world and has to please his wife, and the wife has to please her husband, and there are responsibilities and restrictions and worries that come with being in a relationship.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And we know this, right?
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Relationships can be distracting.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: Some of you here tonight are currently sitting next to someone that you think is really cute, and that has been the only thing you have focused on for the past 45 minutes, right?
18:43
SPEAKER_00: You're in worship.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I hold it like just like this, right?
18:46
SPEAKER_00: I'll get the bicep and like it'll hit the light just right, and she'll see me just really getting into worship.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Or like, oh, I forgot my perfume.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I sprayed it on my shoulder.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: So, like, maybe if I like, oh, just pop my shirt, like it'll waft over, and you've been gone this entire time, right?
19:01
SPEAKER_00: And that's just from sitting next to someone you find attractive.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: In dating, all of a sudden, guess what?
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Holidays get expensive, boys, and there's a lot of pressure.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: Your plans around Valentine's Day change.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of pressure.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: You don't want to get that one wrong, right?
19:15
SPEAKER_00: You now have to budget for things like necklaces and bracelets.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And it can't just be any old necklace or bracelet.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: It better be thoughtful.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and ladies, I can promise you, it is probably not gonna be thoughtful.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna be disappointed and you're gonna have to deal with that, right?
19:29
SPEAKER_00: And then you move to engagement.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: And boys, you're gonna have to have conversations about things that you never thought you were gonna have to have conversations about.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, does this charger look good?
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Like the flowers are pink, but then the other wedding is purple, and oh, my bridesmaid got this dress, but it's not the right shade of purple.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Like I told her to order it from here, and you're gonna have to act like you care every single time.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Girls, once again, he's not gonna care.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna want his help planning this thing, and it's gonna be in one ear, out the other.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, absolutely no.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be mad that he doesn't care to make these plans.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: And then marriage.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: Boys, she is gonna expect you to talk about your feelings.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And she's gonna expect you to listen when she talks about her feelings and ask meaningful questions and give meaningful input, uh, of which you probably have none, right?
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Ladies, he's not gonna have any.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna stare at you, look at you blankly while he drools, right?
20:22
SPEAKER_00: He's not gonna be concerned about things.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh he's gonna expect you to do things that his mama did for him, clean up after him, make him dinner, uh, and you're gonna be like, no, we're we're doing this together, right?
20:31
SPEAKER_00: And then you add on kids to that, right?
20:33
SPEAKER_00: My morning this morning started with pee all over the bathroom floor.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: I have a built-in alarm clock that wakes me up at 6:30 a.m.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: with these three things.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm hungry, I'm bored, I want to get up every day of my life.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, relationships bring restrictions and distractions and worries and anxiety.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: I've been thrown up on and I have thrown up more times in the past three years than the previous 20.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing all of that stuff is amazing.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to talk down on dating or marriage or kids or any of that.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't trade where I'm at for the world.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: But we have this tendency where we think the grass is always greener.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Uh, Ben Stewart puts it this way: there's a tendency in each of us to downplay the benefits of our stage of life and amplify the benefits of another.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's the point that Paul's trying to make here is that singleness is a gift because you're free from all those worries.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: You have time and energy and resources while you are single that you will not have in any other stage of life.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: And the challenge is what are you going to do with them?
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Right?
21:35
SPEAKER_00: Because Paul says that you're supposed to use this time and this energy and these resources in a right way, an undivided devotion to the Lord.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's the big point of the sermon tonight, guys.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Singleness is a gift because it's an opportunity to be fully devoted to God and his work in the world.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: Like you have time right now that you won't always have.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: You can slow down and you can pursue God.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: Like in the evenings, you're able to sit down and man, I'm just gonna give 30 minutes of my evening to the Lord.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna read some scripture.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: I know you have homework and things, but you have time that you can say, hey, in the mornings, I'm gonna wake up early.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: Or hey, on the weekends, I've got a whole weekend free, right?
22:10
SPEAKER_00: I can go serve the Lord.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: If I feel the Lord just putting, you know, homeless ministry on my heart, like I can go down on Saturday evenings.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't got any plans.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: I can go and I can serve with those people.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: I know people who've taken an entire year off after they get out of college to go and travel across the world to go serve on a mission field, right?
22:27
SPEAKER_00: You have emotional bandwidth that you won't always have.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: Like you're able to counsel and do life with people right now that you won't be able to when you're in a relationship, right?
22:35
SPEAKER_00: Like the reality of my stage of life is Christine should, in a perfect world, get most of my time and energy and attention.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's gonna limit me from how much life I can do with you guys, right?
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Like there's gonna be times where I'm gonna have to check out of a football game or a volleyball game or volleyball here till 11:30, right?
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Or however late that goes.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm I'm in a different stage of life, but you guys don't have that.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: You can pour into people, you can mentor younger students, you can go to their games, right?
23:01
SPEAKER_00: If you pick somebody, seniors, juniors, upperclassmen, high schoolers that are in the ministry right now, think about what it would be like if you picked a middle schooler and you said, Hey, I'm gonna pour into them for the rest of the time that I have in the student ministry.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna show up to their games, right?
23:15
SPEAKER_00: Don't just expect your youth leader or your youth pastor to do it, but hey, I'm gonna do that, right?
23:19
SPEAKER_00: What I would want Garrett to do for me, or what I would want Aaron or Sarah or Tony to do for me, like I'm gonna do that for a younger student.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: You have that option.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's stopping you.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: You've got the time, you've got the energy.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: If something is put on your heart by God, a mission trip, a ministry team, helping with kids ministry, leading worship, you don't have to check it with anybody.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: You can just obey God.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: And you have this chance to become, let's bring back to relationships here, to actually become the kind of person who will bless your spouse one day.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: Like relationships right now, this is where your character is formed.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: You are becoming the person you're gonna be for the rest of your life.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: I've heard it said about marriage problems that there's actually no such thing as a marriage problem.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: It's a single person problem that got drugged into marriage.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: By a lot of people who don't use their singleness well.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: And you can use this time in your life right now, because the reality is, guys, even if you're dating in high school, if you're dating the right way, your life is gonna be much closer to a single lifestyle than it is to a married lifestyle.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: You've still got so much time and energy and things that you can give to God.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: The best picture I know of this is from a guy I met in college.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: His name is Chris Holloway.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh, Chris Holloway is gonna have a big old mansion in heaven one day because Chris, uh, he was one of my mentors in college.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: Uh, he's probably mid-40s now, or he may have just turned 40.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: He's never been married, he's never had kids, he's worked at DBU almost his entire adult life, and he has leveraged his singleness for God in a way like I've never seen anyone else.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: He has been in charge of all of the mentorship programs, the discipleship programs.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: He was in charge of the discipleship program where God got a hold of me and completely changed me.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And look, he doesn't have kids or he doesn't have a family, but almost every evening he has someone over to his apartment.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: He's getting a meal with them, he's mentoring young guys.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: He's waking up in the morning and he's going on a run with them, right?
25:04
SPEAKER_00: If he feels the Lord calling him to a mission field, guess what?
25:07
SPEAKER_00: He just drops everything and goes serves on the mission field.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: Like he, his, I'm sure if you were to talk to him, he would tell you, hey, I've wrestled with singleness and all these things, but man, I have seen God give me the opportunity to do things in this stage of life that I could not have done in any other.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: And it's a picture of someone who saw singleness as a gift and used it in the best way possible: devotion to the Lord.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: Because Chris understood that singleness is not God holding out on you, he's giving you space to become someone, to grow closer to him.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: It's the season where you get to run after him with everything that you have.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: And so ask yourself tonight as we wrap up, is that what you're doing with it?
25:47
SPEAKER_00: Many of you here tonight, you're single.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: And like I said, the reality is even if you are dating in high school, if you're doing it the right way, you're a lot closer to a single lifestyle than you are a married lifestyle.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk more about that next week.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: But just ask yourself tonight, how are you using this season?
26:05
SPEAKER_00: Are you just spending it wishing that you were in a different season?
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Man, I really want a boyfriend.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Man, I really want a girlfriend.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: Man, I really want to be in a relationship.
26:13
SPEAKER_00: The holidays are coming up, I need the cute pictures.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: Are you spending all your energy chasing distractions?
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Right?
26:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm single and I love it.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: I can play video games as long as I want.
26:24
SPEAKER_00: I can go do whatever I want.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: I can scroll on Instagram late at night.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: I don't gotta worry about anybody or anything.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: And really all you're doing is filling your time with things that aren't gonna matter a year from now, much less in eternity.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: Or are you letting comparison rob you of contentment?
26:42
SPEAKER_00: You're like, man, Garrett, I hear everything you say, but I scroll on Instagram and I just see how everybody else is where I desperately want to be.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: Or, and maybe this is the thing you need to decide to do tonight, are you accepting the season of life for what it is?
27:00
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I've got time and I've got energy, I've got the ability to chase after the Lord with everything that I have.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want this to come across as you need to try and clean yourself up for God because this is all rooted in what we talked about at the beginning.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: That you did not first love God, that God first loved you, that he sent his son after you, he sacrificed, he paid the highest price, and he promised to stay with you even through the highs and the lows for the rest of your life.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Man, I don't know about you guys, but who wouldn't want to just walk in relationship with that kind of God?
27:35
SPEAKER_00: The God who knows everything about you.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're tonight, you're like, Garrett, this this kind of hurts to hear because I hear a lot of myself in this sermon, but I feel like a lot of those mistakes have already been made.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: I've already opened that door, I've already walked down that road, and now I feel this guilt and this shame.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: There is no sin that is too big for the grace of Jesus Christ.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: You can be forgiven, you can be washed clean.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: Maybe tonight you need to make the decision for the first time, hey, I'm gonna chase after Jesus with all my life.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna confess in my heart, uh, confess with my mouth and believe in my heart, and I'm gonna be saved tonight.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: That can be true of you.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: Because the God who knew everything about you, every sin, every mistake, every screw up, all the ways that you've gotten all of this wrong says, I still love you.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: And I'm here for you, and I want you to come back to me.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to feel guilt and shame.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Guilt and shame speak down to who you are.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: How could you be so stupid?
28:30
SPEAKER_00: How could you make that mistake?
28:31
SPEAKER_00: How could you be so terrible?
28:33
SPEAKER_00: That's not the voice of God, that's the voice of Satan.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: The voice of God is something we call conviction, and conviction doesn't tear you down, it builds Jesus up.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: It says, hey, quit wasting your time with all this lesser stuff.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: Quit giving yourself to someone who just wants you for your body or just wants you for how you can make them feel.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: Instead, run to the God who loves you enough to die for you when you had nothing to offer.
28:54
SPEAKER_00: Rest in his love.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Let the contentment with that bleed into every area of your life and just be at peace.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be on that hamster wheel chasing after people or approval.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: You can just rest in God's love.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: And then you can truly be a source of love to every single person that you encounter.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Would you pray with me?
29:18
SPEAKER_00: Father God, we thank you for tonight.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: And we thank you for the opportunity to uh tackle a topic that can be difficult for a lot of us, Lord, can bring up a lot of guilt and shame.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: And Lord, I just pray that we would not leave with that tonight, God, that we would see the beauty of your love for us to know that we can be fully content in our relationship with you.
29:38
SPEAKER_00: And Lord, we talked about we need community, but God, we don't need another person to make us complete.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: No person can give that.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: God, that that you and you alone can satisfy our hearts' deepest longings and desires.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: And Lord, I pray that every soul under the sound of my voice would leave these doors tonight knowing that.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: God, that right now you would be breaking strongholds of people pleasing, of approval chasing, of trying to run to the well of a relationship or a person to find contentment.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: God, that if there's a conversation that needs to be had in the parking lot, God, that you would give the courage to have that conversation, to make that call, to make that text, so that everyone here tonight could leave here knowing, God, that we can be connected to you, the true source of love, the true source of life who came to give us life through the death of his son.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: And Father, I pray that you would completely.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: Change all of our hearts and all of our minds, God, that we would leave here changed by the power of the Holy Spirit, walking in freedom, contentment, and that we could be a source of love to a world that desperately needs it, Father.