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Journal Your Way to Clarity & Understanding with Candy Motzek · The One Small Change Podcast

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  Hello, everybody. Welcome to the One Small Change, and I
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  am so happy that you've made time in your in your life to join on
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  this journey of exploration and transformation. And I'm
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  your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost 30 years of
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  entrepreneurial experience. And I have a passion for
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  discovering growth through the power of seemingly small change.
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  So I wanna thank you for joining me. And this week, we
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  are talking with one of my favorite people, Candy
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  Motzek. Candy, I probably murdered your last name, so say it
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  correctly for me. That was It's it's close, but it's not quite.
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  Motzek. Okay. So so
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  that was here's a hint to you. Make sure you always talk to your guests
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  ahead of time about name pronunciation. But I wanna I wanna
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  gush on you for just a minute before we actually go into the
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  interview. And I have to say, when I first started
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  doing podcast, this lady was one of the first people
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  who picked me out of the crowd
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  and said, let's do an interview. And I appreciate that so
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  much because we've kept in touch and we've we've, you
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  know, done things and used each other as a as
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  a, you know, to brainstorm and stuff like that. So I am really
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  happy to share her with you today, and I think your time will
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  be well spent. And so, Candy, tell us a little bit
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  about what you do and and what was the small change that had
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  that unexpected or insignificant, you know, that
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  small change that had kinda transformed
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  your life in a way you know, more than you expected. Yeah.
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  Yeah. And so first, thanks so much for having me on your show. I
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  really I love doing interviews, and I enjoy our
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  conversations. And we talk when it's not podcast time too, and
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  so just really pleased to have that time with you.
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  So, the question about one thing that
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  seems insignificant, but actually
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  had a huge change on me. And I think the, you
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  know, the wall behind me here, you can see all those
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  journals on the wall behind me there. And so for me,
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  the small change was to
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  start journaling. And it's something that I
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  now do every day. I've got quite a robust practice,
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  but it started with this idea that, you know, if I
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  wrote in a journal every day, I might
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  do something different. I might change. I might learn something.
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  And just that opening that book and
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  holding onto a pen, I've got a favorite pen that I use,
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  that small step has really transformed my life.
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  So that's my seemingly small change that's really
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  had a huge effect. Well, you know, one of the things that you said that
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  I think sometimes people overlook is that when you're
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  doing something for yourself, it is
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  worthwhile making it special. And
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  you just said, you know, I have this special pen. When I
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  was losing weight, one of the things that I did was if I
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  kinda wanted to break a cycle, an eating cycle that I was in,
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  I would have a glass of water, you know. But I had
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  this crystal mug that had this beautiful
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  blue handle, and it was, you know, I put the lemon in it. It was
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  just beautiful, and it really made it special. I mean, it
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  kind of said to me, you're special enough to, you know, that
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  you've got this special glass. So I think, you know and it can
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  be the special pen or it could be the you know, I know a
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  couple people who have special journals. Mhmm. You know, the
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  journals themselves are, you know, I for me, I I'm
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  not I have journal during times of my life,
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  and for me, it's really important that it it's spiral bound,
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  so it'll lay flat. It drives me crazy trying to write in a book
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  that's you know? So
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  tell me what else you think the journaling does for you that gives you
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  that, you know, that impact. Yeah.
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  So journaling has a lot of, you know,
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  there's a lot of, studies that have been done on it that show the impact
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  that it has, but I'll just talk about my personal experience because that's kind of
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  the most important thing is for me, I
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  learn what my is going on in my
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  head. And I know that that sounds kind of small and no big
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  deal. But lots of times, we have thoughts that we
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  just think as habit thoughts, and we just assume that they're
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  true. And it's only when we write it down
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  outside of our head and we look at it on a piece of paper that
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  we can start to question some of those things that we just
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  assumed were true. And so for me, it's
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  getting it out of my head. I do something called a thought
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  download just about every day, and that is just set my
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  timer for 5 minutes and write just what's on my mind. What's going on in
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  my brain right now? And so to
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  understand what's happening in my mind gives me clarity and
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  it gives me awareness. And as soon as I've got that awareness
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  about what I'm thinking, then I get to take back my
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  power. Maybe I'm thinking that something's too hard. Maybe I
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  think I'm overwhelmed. Maybe I think it's confusing,
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  but is it really? Well, if it's just
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  swirling around in my brain, yes. But once you write
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  it down, you realize, oh, wait a minute. It's really
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  not that big of a deal. Right? So it really helps me to keep a
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  lot of clarity, brings back awareness. And once I've got awareness,
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  then I've got power. Then I can just choose what I wanna do and how
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  I wanna approach it. And do you I you know, I I'm a big
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  advocate of doing brain dumps. And so, basically, what you're
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  saying is that you do a brain dump every morning and take a look at
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  what's there. Exactly. And for me, when
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  I do a brain dump, one of the things that I like to do, and
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  and you can tell me if you've got some practice that's kind of like
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  that, is I like to go, oh, you know, if I put
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  this with this, I can get 2 things done
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  at the same time. Or, oh, if I put the if I put this with
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  this, then I've got something new. I mean, I find that it can be a
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  it can be a productivity,
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  effort, and it can also be a creative effort. It doesn't sound like it would
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  be because it's like, you know, just dump the brain.
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  I've never thought about it in that way. And you're the productivity
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  expert, though, so that's that's I love that you've used the
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  creativity of the journaling to support that as well.
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  For me, what it does is I see thought patterns,
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  and I see that, for example, I have a habit
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  that the minute that I want to do something that's a little bit challenging,
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  and being entrepreneurs, we do stuff that's challenging all the time every
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  day. The first thing I think is, oh, I don't know how to do that.
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  Well, listen. I've been around the block a few
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  years, and I can actually do a lot more
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  than I might at first think. So the minute that I see that,
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  I call that the old chestnut, I don't know how, the minute
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  that I see that come out of my head, I'm like, oh, okay.
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  My main my mind is just playing a little game with me here.
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  Now it's time to say, so is
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  that really true? Is it not true?
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  What can I learn from this? What is this showing
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  me? And so for me, I use it in that way as
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  opposed to creating some kind of a great combination
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  that becomes a super good productivity approach.
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  Can I also ask you about you said something about patterns?
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  And patterns are like, if you can
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  recognize your pattern, it's really an amazing thing. So can
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  you talk more about that, you know, where you have found that
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  useful? Yeah. So
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  there's a saying that says how you do one thing is how you do everything.
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  Right? And I don't even know who said it, but I heard it once, and
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  I was like, yeah. I can really see that.
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  So the pattern is that the more that I think in a
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  certain way, I get to decide,
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  am I going to be creative and open and curious about it, or
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  am I gonna go down the negative nelly and hopeless
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  and I'll never figure it out path? So when I know what
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  my pattern is, that I might have this kind of
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  thought, and, when I have this kind of thought, then I just
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  kind of swirl in confusion. The minute that I see
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  the thought, I know, oh my gosh. There's the pattern starting. And it's
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  like it's it's, almost like an
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  unconscious ritual. And then as soon as you can sort of
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  extract the trigger for the ritual, then you can
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  change the pattern. So I see that a lot with my clients as
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  well, where they have a particular pattern,
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  especially around the area of overwhelm or confusion
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  or being indecisive. Lots of entrepreneurs struggle with
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  those things. Right? And so it's like, as soon as they
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  know, oh, I have a pattern, which is just a
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  habit that I created. And I created it at a time that
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  it was helpful, but maybe it's not helpful now. Right?
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  And then we can go back to that place where we can decide how we
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  want to be instead of just being reactive. Well, I think
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  I think what you're saying is is so important because,
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  a lot of our habits we got from childhood, and they
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  were partially to keep us safe. They may have
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  served us well, and they may not have. But, you know, we carried them
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  into what we're doing, the way we we face fear and
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  uncertainty. I mean, I know for for me, one of the things when
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  thing you know, before I change my thought pattern about,
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  you know, failure is a natural part of success and that it's an
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  experimental process as opposed to being a binary choice
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  of you succeed or you don't. You know, the first thing I would say
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  is what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why can't
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  I get this? Like, you know, I should be able to do this, you know.
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  And and, you know, as you said, go down that emotional subjective
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  kind of path. And that's one of the reasons that when I
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  talk about when you do something and you learn something,
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  you kinda have to have a trigger for when to use it because otherwise,
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  you will. And I think the other thing that you said that
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  to me is really important that has been a change for me is just having
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  saying, how can I be curious? Instead of instead of
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  saying, this is the way it should be done or this is the way it's
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  always been done. When somebody says something to me, I don't try to
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  fix them right away anymore. I go, tell me more.
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  And it makes a huge difference, I mean, in
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  terms of Oh, yeah. And and yeah.
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  Definitely. And that approach that you've just talked about
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  about being curious, tell me more, that's exactly the
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  process to use with your journaling. Tell me more. How come
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  how come we think that way? How does that help me? Do I like
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  the the result that gets me or not? Am I
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  feeling better? Am I feeling worse? Right? So, like, curiosity is
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  so important, and I love your idea about being really
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  experimental. That's my thing too. I'm like, well, let's just see
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  what happens. Let's just try it and see. Right? Gather data.
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  Can we prove this? You know? Does it it is it an interesting
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  approach or not? Right? Well, I and I think that's kind of one of the
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  when you have a model, it allows you to be
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  experimental more because you're taking certain steps, and then you can go back and say,
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  well, this step worked, but this step didn't. Do you know? And it kinda
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  gives you a, like, a safety net in a way.
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  But I have to tell you, you know, I journaled a lot
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  when I was losing weight. I I don't know if you remembered that I lost,
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  like, a £150. Yes. I know. It's an amazing thing.
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  I I journaled a lot during that time, and it's one of
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  the things that frustrated me about it is I could not
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  figure out a way
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  to really see the patterns. I mean, it was for me, that was that
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  was hard. I couldn't you know, it's like I can't remember when I did this
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  last and which journal is this in and stuff. And so I hit that's why
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  I like trackers where I Yeah.
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  Where, you know, when it comes to action, you know, that, you know, you can
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  track it and you can see it and you can start to see the patterns.
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  You go, okay. I'm gonna work on these ten things for the next 2
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  weeks. And then you look at it and you go, I haven't touched this one
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  once. Why is that? Yeah. Yeah. You
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  know, so that's that's that's the the the push
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  pull that I have. I think it's really great to write things down.
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  I, you know, I I probably have made
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  amazing awarenesses from writing. I mean, you know,
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  there was a book called the women doctor's diet book. And
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  one of the things she she made you do is, like, really write
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  down why you wanted to lose weight. You know, it started with, you know, because
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  of my health, because I wanna live longer for my kids, be you know, and
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  it went down this whole thing. And it was the first you know, you just
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  kept digging and digging. And it was the first time that I
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  said to myself, I wanna feel pretty.
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  Mhmm. And I had never admitted that because that was not a
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  family value for us. Right. Being smart
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  was important in my house, but being pretty was not.
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  And it you know, part of that was a protection thing. You know, my
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  parents didn't want us to run with the wrong crowds or get in with boys
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  and, you know, get into trouble and that kind of stuff. So it was like
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  study. You know, your books are so I think there's
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  a huge amount of value in the journaling, and I think, you
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  know, just like anything else, you have to say, what's the purpose?
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  Mhmm. Mhmm. What am I what am I trying to get out of this? What
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  is it gonna do for me? You know?
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  I think I could probably go back and and start journaling again
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  about my business. You know? You could. And, you know, sorry,
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  just to interrupt. I love your, use of the trackers,
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  and I think that there's a really great blend that could happen there. Right?
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  Like and and, you know, so if you see that there was one of the
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  10 tasks that you've decided to do, you're not doing
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  it. Okay. Well, why am I resistant? And maybe there is
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  something interesting to be unwrapped with that. Like, why am I
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  resistant about, you know, reach you know, doing
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  outreach, 5 outreach calls a day or something like that? What
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  do I really think is gonna happen? What am I protecting myself
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  from? Right? And I and I think, you know, when you do that
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  discovery, you know, on that thing in particular, which I think we
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  both see in our clients, if if
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  you think you're making the call to get a client
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  or to, you know, it it's about you.
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  It's always gonna be hard to do. If you're making the
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  call with the idea of let's curl collaborate
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  and see what we can do to help each other, then it's
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  so much easier. I mean, it's like, you
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  know, you don't there's room for the magic. I mean, I'm
• 15:50
  stuttering over my words, but it just totally changes the feel of
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  it. Do you know? So I think, you know,
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  I I this is the second person this week that has
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  told me about journaling. So maybe that's that's kind of the, you
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  know, the infamous universe saying, it's time for you to start doing this
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  again. You know? Because I think, you know, as you
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  look at the things that you're doing and then you do the tracker to see
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  if you're actually doing it, then you can say, okay. I, you
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  know, I am not doing the follow-up calls. Let
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  me let me journal about why that's not happening.
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  Mhmm. Mhmm. You know? And I think I think you're absolutely right. I think that
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  they they would go really well together. What other what other things have
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  you discovered from journaling that that surprised you?
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  Yeah. And so for me, it's a much deeper
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  connection with my emotions and why that's
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  valuable is because for example, with the
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  tracker idea, if there is a task on there you're not doing,
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  it's not that you wanna necessarily be more motivated, but you
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  want to reduce your resistance to doing it. Right? So when I
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  understand where my emotions are, I can be super excited
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  about it today, but what am I gonna be like 3 weeks from now when
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  I still need to do my 5 outreach calls a day? Right? So
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  if I can reduce my resistance to it, where do I feel resistance?
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  How do I feel resistant? Where do I actually notice the
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  resistance in my body? And the reason that it works with the
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  journaling is because I'm moving slow. Right? I'm not doing it on
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  a keyboard. I'm doing it with pen and paper, which allows me to
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  slow down instead of just having my brain going on
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  going on like crazy. Right? I I have 2 questions
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  for you. 1 is, can you talk a little bit about resistance
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  versus motivation? That's the first thing. Because I think,
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  you know, I I think people are like, why am I not motivated? Why am
• 17:49
  I you know? Can you talk about that a little bit? Yeah.
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  So the, the approach is that
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  mostly the reason that we don't have what we want is
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  because we have resistance to receiving it. And so this is in the
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  area of being afraid to fail,
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  but also having a fear around too much success
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  because it's unknown. Right? Like, can we really
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  handle having a business that size? What kind of
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  challenges will we encounter if our business just takes off like
• 18:25
  crazy? So motivation
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  to me is important to a point, but I'm quite internally
• 18:33
  motivated, so it's not something I have to play with a lot. But for me,
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  it's the resistance. Like, what what do I think is gonna happen
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  when I take that action? What do I think is
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  the, what is the the
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  danger behind it? Do I think somebody's gonna laugh at me?
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  Yeah. Do I think they're gonna reject me? Yeah. Do I think they're gonna,
• 18:56
  you know, ignore me? Yeah. You know? So, like, that's the
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  how am I protecting myself? Because as,
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  you know, biological beings, we're much more concerned
• 19:08
  about our safety and our security and our survival than we
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  are about creating the ultimate best life that
• 19:15
  we might think. When you look at something like Maslow's hierarchy,
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  right, where do we spend have the most time and energy is in
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  the bottom of that triangle or that pyramid around
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  safety, security, physical safety, much more before we move
• 19:31
  to individual transcendence.
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  Okay. So so getting into some
• 19:38
  practical steps. Sure. If you were if you were gonna tell people
• 19:41
  to start journaling and they hadn't journaled before,
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  Besides getting a nice notebook and a pretty pen, and
• 19:50
  and and and and I would say a regular time to do it,
• 19:56
  what else would you know, for me, it's like when I get up
• 20:00
  in the morning, you know, one of the things that I say to myself is,
• 20:03
  what am I doing today that's going
• 20:07
  to build my business? Right? So what's good what am
• 20:11
  I doing to get clients today, kind of? Are there
• 20:15
  a couple of questions that you use regularly for your
• 20:18
  journaling or you just I mean, what what's the process that you
• 20:22
  use? Yeah. So the
• 20:26
  process that I use, there's there's kind of a number of different things. Let me
• 20:29
  start out with the most basic. It's just like what you talked about with the
• 20:32
  brain dump. I just use thought download as my term, but they mean the same
• 20:36
  thing. So if you've never really journaled before, you're really not
• 20:40
  totally sure, and you're thinking, oh, Yvonne and Candi are telling me to do this
• 20:43
  thing. How do I start? You start by getting
• 20:47
  yourself some paper and a pen, and it doesn't even
• 20:51
  have to be a journal. You could just start on loose paper if you
• 20:54
  wanted to and set your timer on your phone for 2
• 20:58
  minutes. And at the top of the page, write, this is
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  what's on my mind today. And then you just
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  write all the thoughts without judging yourself,
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  without filtering, without saying, I wanna put
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  that on paper. You write all of the thoughts, and you do
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  that 2 minutes a day. You do that for a full week, and you
• 21:20
  will start to notice how your brain
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  thinks. Does it have a thought that it just keeps going
• 21:27
  to over and over and over again like me? I don't know how to do
• 21:31
  that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.
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  And then can you see that that one thought is where
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  your thoughts sort of hold you back? Right? So that's
• 21:42
  would be the place that I would start. The other thing,
• 21:45
  how you spoke about the journaling when you were
• 21:49
  doing your weight loss journey was something
• 21:53
  that I call an identity statement. Here's my vision of my
• 21:56
  future self, and here's why I want to create
• 22:00
  that new version of me. And so I will always
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  write my big goal. I write it at the top of
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  my page every single morning so I don't forget. Mhmm. Do
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  this. Do this. Do this. Even though,
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  like, it feels like it's never gonna happen, not letting
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  myself forget about it is one of the ways that journaling supports
• 22:22
  me in reaching a goal as well. Okay. So
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  that that I think is really helpful for people,
• 22:30
  in terms of and probably the most helpful thing you said is you only journal
• 22:34
  2 minutes. Yeah. Exactly. But I
• 22:37
  think of journaling. I think of sitting there and just, you know, going and go.
• 22:41
  And I think that the other thing I think that it's really important for people
• 22:45
  to know and I you know, is that in terms of in
• 22:49
  terms of learning, there are 3 styles of learning. So there's a visual,
• 22:52
  there's the kinetic, there's the audio. The majority
• 22:56
  of us are visual kinetic, you
• 23:00
  know, which means that you like to see it and you you have to
• 23:03
  move. You you know, if you like to feel, you know, like, I'm, like, really
• 23:07
  crazy. I'll go in and it's like, this doesn't feel right to me,
• 23:11
  you know, you know, kind of thing. But that activity
• 23:15
  of of moving actually moving your hand,
• 23:19
  you know, and seeing what you're writing,
• 23:23
  is really a great learning tool, which for me, like, the next step
• 23:27
  in the journaling if I say start to put stuff together is I
• 23:31
  love mind maps. There's some things for me that where, you know,
• 23:34
  you put the goal in the center and then you draw the spike you know,
• 23:38
  the spikes out with, like, what it you know? And you look at your list
• 23:41
  that you downloaded, you know, if you if you're getting a planning strategic mode and
• 23:45
  you go, okay. This is much more important than this. You know, it
• 23:49
  doesn't matter if I wait 2 months on this. It just you know? But this
• 23:52
  is something, you know, an opportunity is here. So for me,
• 23:56
  you know, it's kind of like moving the pieces around. Anyway, alright. This
• 24:00
  is what we have to do. Oh, but this is great because what you've just
• 24:03
  described is also journaling. And so there's just
• 24:07
  another way that somebody who just loves to do that more
• 24:10
  brainstorming creative way, they could do it too and still be having
• 24:14
  a journaling practice. Oh, boy. We
• 24:18
  covered a lot of stuff. So anybody who's listening, you should be able to
• 24:21
  get some ideas. And Candy has got a free gift for
• 24:25
  us or a link. So before we run out of
• 24:29
  time, let's let's talk about that. So I
• 24:33
  have, a couple of ways. 1st, if you're okay if I share my
• 24:37
  podcast because that's always the easiest way to come into
• 24:40
  my world. If you like what Yvonne and I have spoken about, come
• 24:44
  and listen to me on my show. Yvonne's been a guest a couple of times,
• 24:48
  so you can find her episodes on there as well. And the show is
• 24:51
  called she coaches coaches. It's on all the players, and
• 24:55
  you'll see my face and my name on there as well. So that's the she
• 24:59
  coaches coaches podcast, and I'd love to have you there. And
• 25:02
  for a free gift, the easiest is to go to candiesfreegift.com.
• 25:09
  So it's candies with an f, and s, free
• 25:13
  gift dot com, Takes you to my free resources page, and there's
• 25:16
  some journaling prompts on there that you can download. And, of
• 25:20
  course, we'll put the that link in the in the in the notes. So,
• 25:24
  real fast, your your surprise question. When was the
• 25:28
  last time you did something new for the first
• 25:36
  I
• 25:43
  I am stuck because I do new stuff all the time,
• 25:47
  but nothing is coming to the front of my brain. I'll tell you. The thing
• 25:51
  that comes to the front of my brain is that when I turned, I think
• 25:54
  I was just over 40. I took up ballet as
• 25:58
  a hobby. And that was a bunch of years ago, but
• 26:02
  that was something that changed my life because it
• 26:05
  changed my way of
• 26:09
  being. I got to be a newbie again. I got to be
• 26:13
  terrible at something. I got to practice something that was
• 26:16
  creative, that had no earthly value, and
• 26:20
  it was really an amazing it was an amazing experience. So when are you
• 26:24
  gonna do something like that again? I'm back
• 26:28
  at ballet in September, and I also
• 26:31
  have a new side business that I'm gonna be launching, and it's quite
• 26:35
  different. So that's gonna be my my next new thing. Sounds
• 26:39
  fantastic. I can't believe the time has gone so fast, but we
• 26:42
  gotta tie this up. And so I have to put in the commercial part where
• 26:46
  it says, you know, the first thing you wanna do is subscribe and share and
• 26:49
  engage in the podcast community. And, you know, one of the
• 26:53
  things that we're trying to do is give you those pieces that are gonna supercharge
• 26:56
  your business. Oops. That are gonna supercharge your business.
• 27:00
  Stop. And help you to make connection
• 27:04
  in the community. Because one of the things that I found about doing the podcast
• 27:08
  that I did not expect is how we're starting to grow a
• 27:12
  community and support each other, and it's really been quite
• 27:15
  wonderful. So I'm hoping that you're gonna continue to join me on the
• 27:19
  one small change and embark on this amazing journey and
• 27:22
  that, you know, if you haven't listened to the first episode or
• 27:26
  other episodes, you can go to the, you know, the main page and and do
• 27:30
  that. So what are your last words if you had to give us a
• 27:33
  quote to to to to live by?
• 27:37
  A quote to live by. Or just to get through the
• 27:41
  day. Well, isn't that isn't it
• 27:45
  always the same thing? To me so
• 27:49
  Words To Live By is I think that podcasts are an amazing
• 27:53
  vehicle. It is one of the things that I just I listen to
• 27:56
  podcasts all day long, and I find them so helpful
• 28:00
  because I learn stuff, but also this I feel more connected
• 28:04
  and more part of a community, and it it it it
• 28:08
  affects me more than anything. So for me, last
• 28:11
  words is go and listen to some new shows, something you would never have
• 28:15
  listened to before and see what you find out.
• 28:19
  I you know what? I have to tell you. My this is not a podcast,
• 28:22
  but it's YouTube. But when I finish for the day and I go downstairs,
• 28:26
  inevitably, my husband's like, wait. I wanna show you something that I
• 28:30
  found that is totally unrelated to anything.
• 28:34
  I mean, the thing that we watched the other day was about why tadpoles
• 28:38
  are still swimming around in September.
• 28:41
  Because he passed he passed a frog pod and there were still tadpoles
• 28:45
  in it. Anyway, alright. I gotta tell
• 28:49
  you, and you know that this is true, that change can be
• 28:52
  simple, but it isn't always easy. And if you're curious,
• 28:56
  hopefully, you're gonna take that curiosity to help you change for the better.
• 29:00
  But it does require some courage and some resilience and a willingness
• 29:04
  to step outside your comfort zone to be able to benefit from it.
• 29:08
  So continue to join me on the one small change. Let's talk about the
• 29:11
  changes that you're making and all the innovative possibilities that
• 29:15
  are out there, and I hope that you've enjoyed this as much
• 29:19
  as I have. Candy, thank you so much.
• 29:23
  Thank you so much for having me. This was fun. Until the next
• 29:27
  time, guys. See you again.