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Feeling Stuck? Say It Out Loud and Get Unstuck · Candid Coach Conversations

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  Hello everyone. Wondering, have you ever felt really stuck?
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  Good morning and welcome to Candid Coach Conversations.
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  I'm Kimberly Boyd, founder of Live Life Fully,
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  and today I have with me the spectacular Amanda Kaufman,
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  certified Live Life Fully Coach Hey Amanda!
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  that's gonna stick. You've said it twice now.
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  ~ my
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  gosh. I was so excited. Hello,
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  thanks for having me.
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  Yes. So good to see you again.
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  This topic
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  Absolutely.
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  of feeling stuck, like it's come up gosh,
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  it's come up on several calls of mine and and then recently I have literally parts
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  of my life have been stuck
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  And so thinking about this whole notion of feeling stuck and I want to hear from
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  you what to do. Like if people are feeling stuck,
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  what do you think?
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  Well, I think it me I think it deserves some language,
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  yeah.
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  Okay.
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  So so sometimes when we're stuck it's because there are things outside
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  of our control that are happening and they're not happening on the timeline
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  we would prefer.
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  my goodness. yes, a bazillion percent.
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  Yeah.
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  So that's one version of stuck where it's actually somebody else's fault
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  and ~ they would would they kindly hurry up,
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  please, right?
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  So that that's a that's a stuck.
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  Another version of stuck could also be like a not enough.
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  So for example, if you I hear sometimes people in relationships
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  and they're talking about how they feel stuck in their in their relationship,
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  and when we kind of dig a little deeper,
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  like what does stuck actually mean here?
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  Well, he never does XYZ, or you know,
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  I always have to ask again and again to get the littlest thing.
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  And so it's not so much a delay,
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  so much as a low effort from someone.
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  one which again is not matching our preferences.
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  Right? We would strongly prefer that they would make more effort,
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  more commitment, more, more something,
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  right? But
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  Mm-hmm.
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  it's outside of us. So that's one kind of stuck.
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  The other kind of stuck is more of an internal stuck where where I would
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  say a word that probably is more accurate for most would be I'm frustrated.
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  Hmm.
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  And actually it's the same kind of kind of thing.
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  I have an expectation that this
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  Okay.
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  this ability would happen on a timeline or this outcome would happen on a timeline.
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  I have this expectation that things are different than they are,
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  and I am not sure what to do.
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  But I feel frustrated, I feel agitated,
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  I feel maybe deflated or even depressed about that thing,
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  and then what we do is we kind of roll it up into stuck.
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  So either
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  Yep. And I
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  way, it's an expectation that reality is different than it is.
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  Absolutely. I
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  love that you said I feel frustrated or I feel agitated because putting
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  the feeling in there is acknowledging how you feel.
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  It's not putting an identity on you that you're a ball of frustration,
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  but that you
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  Right.
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  feel it. And I think if we just make that the
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  Whatever the word is, the difference between the two,
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  I am and I feel. Saying I feel,
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  frustrated or I feel agitated,
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  it gives us options. It opens up possibilities.
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  Million
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  percent. So often those feelings can be heavy and and hard or difficult to manage.
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  And often we don't have a lot of training or or tool around emotional regulation.
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  because where would you get that?
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  You know, unless you're doing personal growth and development or you've worked with
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  therapists and coaches and things like that to learn those skills.
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  Like
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  the only place you would get it is if you happen to be in exposed to
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  a community of people that already have that on lock.
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  And the thing is in 2026, there's so much stuck happening.
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  and a lot of shall we say like
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  It's a I was gonna say degradation of like language,
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  like we're not using very specific language.
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  I would
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  Mm.
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  say that everything is tweety,
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  you know, it's like this tweetable short text message communication.
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  So instead of saying I feel frustrated,
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  we say I'm stuck shorter, right?
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  Right. Right.
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  Or I I feel bad.
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  You win on minimum number of characters,
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  but we're not really describing our experience.
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  And the capital T truth is when you do describe that experience more fully
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  and you can start to express, I have these feelings,
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  I think these things, and here's the real rub,
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  like this is this is the reason that people benefit so much from
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  a coaching relationship, is
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  Mm-hmm.
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  so often you're not doing what you could.
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  Amen.
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  Right. So
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  Right.
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  the doing is where we make a new choice or decision or we make a commitment over
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  and over and over again in the direction of not stuck.
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  Right? More favorable outcomes.
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  And in my experience, when I'm coaching people,
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  so often the stuck is an it's a a a condition of
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  Feelings that have never been properly expressed to anybody.
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  They're just kind of held in and scrolled through and avoided.
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  Right.
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  and then sometimes we get the language,
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  sometimes we learn the feelings and we learn about limiting beliefs
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  and we learn about these things,
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  but I see a lot of people still get stuck because then they,
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  like you said, they turn it into an identity statement.
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  Yes.
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  Right? Like I I I I am the belief
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  Okay.
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  I am my limiting beliefs or I am I am bad with money or I am this and that.
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  And it's like taking
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  Exactly.
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  the money example, you may not like,
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  you may have an expectation of what's in your bank account and then reality.
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  You're
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  right.
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  And so often we expect that we're earning more money than we actually earn.
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  And we often expect we spent less money than we actually spent.
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  So our expectations
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  Right.
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  are usually like off by 10 or 20%,
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  apparently. And ~ so then that feels stuck,
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  right? And I'm like, you don't feel like you're stuck.
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  You feel like you're losing.
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  Mm.
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  You think you're losing. Because you are.
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  Every time you open up that bank account and you look at the experience of
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  XYZ dollars in there and you have an expectation of what it ought to be
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  and then you you're confronted with the reality of is and it's in that
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  gap that we have an emotional experience and
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  Yes.
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  then we start telling stories.
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  I'm stuck. There's nothing I can do about it.
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  Bah bah blah blah blah. If I'd just done this thing in the past,
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  which didn't do, then things would be different.
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  And those kinds of stories conveniently prevent us from doing something different.
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  Yeah.
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  Yes, because they're
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  just just adding shame and blame.
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  So okay.
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  Right. That's it. Yeah.
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  So when people are feeling stuck,
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  what are three pieces? Maybe one,
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  but three. like little nudges,
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  little nuggets you would give them.
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  Number one, say it out loud. Write it down ideally.
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  And just speak
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  Hmm. Okay.
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  your truth as it is. Don't have judgment for it.
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  Don't worry about how it's going to be perceived.
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  Don't worry if it's using little words,
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  like whatever. Just let it out.
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  Stop avoiding that feeling, right?
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  Confront it. And so say it out loud.
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  Second thing is ask, what would I like instead?
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  So you're identifying the problem of stuck.
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  But have you identified the solution of unstuck?
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  What does that look like for you?
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  How do you know you're no longer stuck?
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  And then
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  Bye.
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  the third big piece is I would say collaborate more
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  and realize you're one of seven billion people on the planet.
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  I am absolutely certain someone has written a book that gives you
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  the exact roadmap of exactly and precisely what to do from where you stand.
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  Right. So you could
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  No.
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  have a book, you could do podcasts,
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  you could do coaching, you could join programs,
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  you could like there's a million things you could do,
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  but first we've got to acknowledge the feeling,
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  and it is valid, and acknowledge what you truly want so that
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  you can pursue something else,
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  and that is the path to unstuck.
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  I love it.
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  Every single time for every single thing.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  every single thing. Absolutely.
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  And
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  it's that one step, that one acknowledgement piece of ourselves that's doing
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  it differently and really can shift everything.
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  I think we do struggle with admitting that we are stuck.
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  And and I think we struggle for many different reasons.
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  One was I was talking about like the emotional regulation,
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  not necessarily having
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  Sure.
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  a great tool set there. But I think it's also social.
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  so I think socially speaking, if you let's take the bank account example from
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  earlier, if your friends are all spending willy-nilly,
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  like they're just Scrooge McDuck,
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  and and you look at your bank account and you're just like
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  I I have question marks about how much there's a lot more rent to pay
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  and and and not quite enough rent there,
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  right? Like if you're if you if you've got that kind of a situation,
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  That comparison, that social comparison can be a big issue.
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  But also, like, I think there's a lot of in this Instagram world,
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  a lot of pressure to be super Pollyanaperfect all the time.
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  And that's not real life. That's entertainment.
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  So I think, you know, that permission to humble
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  No.
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  yourself and just sort of realize that even if somebody's spending all willy-nilly,
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  that doesn't mean they have money either.
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  True, don't make the assumption.
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  Doesn't mean anything. And even if they did or
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  they didn't have the money, does that really matter to your financial picture?
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  So it doesn't, right? So perhaps there's things like tracking what you spend,
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  earning different skills, starting that business,
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  doing whatever you need to do to sort out your situation for your goals
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  and your purposes. And like make sure you're hanging out with people
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  who think that's cool.
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  Yes. So like-minded people. I say like-minded people and then I will
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  say I love the like-minded people that I surround myself with.
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  And not only are they like-minded,
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  they push. They push me. They
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  Sometimes they'll ask permission,
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  sometimes they don't. Sometimes I'll ask permission to push and sometimes I don't.
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  I do, I totally agree with you,
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  Amanda. Like it's so important to be aware of who you're surrounding yourself with,
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  especially when you feel stuck.
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  Are they quicksand and pulling into that mud pit or
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  Are they the volcano just spewing you out like go enjoy the world?
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  Enjoy your life. I don't know volcanoes a good animal.
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  Are they building you up, right?
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  Or are they just like, let's bond over our stuckness?
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  Ugh.
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  And it's like, ooh.
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  That is ~ you know, I would say that's like the junk food of relationships
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  is if you're if you're if you're in relationships and friendships where
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  the only thing you can really talk about is to complain.
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  I mean, like that, that's a that's a big red flag.
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  Like, and and I'm not saying you gotta have a red flag over that person.
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  I'm saying you, you. Have a red flag on yourself.
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  Perfect.
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  It's like, hey, if the only way I'm bonding with other people is
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  to gossip and complain, I deserve more nutritious relationships.
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  And I deserve
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  Love it.
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  to give myself that. And by the way,
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  I need to stop feeding into those people.
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  And just stop gossiping, stop complaining,
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  start finding people who are building and and and thinking in that way.
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  Yeah.
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  Yes.
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  Definitely will unstick you.
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  Gosh, Amanda, thank you again for joining us today.
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  I always love chatting with you and catching up.
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  It's so fun. So fun.
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  Me too, me too.
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  I I really appreciate you and I really appreciate the Live Life Fully community,
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  you know, like talking about people that you're not gonna be sitting in
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  the muck for long with. It it really is a beautiful community.
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  Okay.
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  It is. I love it. Thank you. All right,
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  Amanda. Well have a great day and everyone we look forward to chatting with
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  you soon on Kidded Coach Conversations.
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  And don't forget, live life fully.
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  Take care. Bye.