Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 56 - How to Find the Best Homeschool Co Op And When to Walk Away!

Transcript

Ep. 56 - How to Find the Best Homeschool Co Op And When to Walk Away! · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: Choosing a homeschool co op isn't just another item on your to do list. It's a decision that can shape your days, your relationships, and even how you feel about homeschooling. If you spent hours juggling schedules, planning around a group, or trying to make connections work only to realize it's not a fit, please know you're not alone. It's exhausting, isolating, and honestly, it makes you question if you're doing something wrong. But here's the thing, you're not.
• 0:26
  Finding the right co op isn't easy, and no one talks enough about how much it matters. When the fit isn't right, it's not just inconvenient. It can disrupt your flow, strain friendships, and make this homeschooling road feel way harder than it has to be. That's why we're here today. My heart is to help you avoid those tough lessons I had to learn the hard way.
• 0:48
  Together, we're gonna break down what makes a co op work for you, how to catch those red flags early on, and how to feel confident saying yes or no when the time comes. Good co ops should lighten your load, inspire your homeschool, and give you and your kids a sense of belonging. That's what we're working toward. By the end of this episode, you'll feel equipped with tools to help you choose a co op that supports your family in the ways that you need most. You'll know what questions to ask, what signs to look for, and how to make a decision you can feel good about.
• 1:23
  So grab your coffee. I have my lemon honey tea. You can hear in my voice. I have a little cold, but I had to film this episode because it's co op season. This is the time where everybody's making the decisions.
• 1:34
  So I had to get this out now. We're going to figure this all out together. Hey, friend. Welcome back to the Christy Face Show. I'm Christy, homeschooling mom of four, twenty year experienced educational advisor, author of the book, Homeschool Rising, speaker, and your friendly guide through this wild, messy, and absolutely beautiful homeschool life.
• 2:08
  Whether you're folding laundry, wrangling the kids, or in that rare and sacred thing we call quiet time, I'm so glad you're here. It's that time of year again, co op visiting season. You know, the time where we're doing the homeschool version of speed dating, walking into buildings with big smiles. Hi. We're looking for a community and we're a delight to work with.
• 2:29
  Just look at my perfect kids. Please choose us. It's both thrilling and nerve wracking. Right? I get it.
• 2:35
  You wanna make the right choice for your family. You don't want to walk into something that feels more like survivor homeschool edition where alliances form and you're left wondering if the tribe has spoken. Here's the plan for today. I'll be sharing four essential tips to guide you in choosing the right co op, three practical warnings about potential pitfalls, and finally, I'll share some lessons I've had to learn the hard way with the hope that you don't have to. My heart is to equip and encourage you so that you're ready to move forward visiting and interviewing at those co ops with confidence and peace.
• 3:12
  So, let's jump in. By the way, I've created a free resource that goes along with this episode. It's called 15 Questions Every Homeschool Mom Should Ask Before Joining a Co op. It's totally free. It's packed with practical questions to help you feel confident and prepared.
• 3:28
  So go to the show notes and grab that right away. Alright. Are you ready to feel equipped and encouraged? This one's gonna be fun. Tip number one, look beyond the basics.
• 3:37
  Define your nonnegotiables. Before you start researching co ops or visiting open houses, take a step back and dig a little deeper into your family's unique needs. Ask yourself, what are my nonnegotiables? Think beyond academics. Does your family thrive in a structured environment or do you value flexibility and creativity?
• 3:59
  Are you prioritizing social opportunities and that's why you want to join a co op or are you looking for specific enrichment programs like hands on science or art? There are different types of co ops. There are enrichment based co ops, elective based co ops, and academic style co ops. And here's the important part, write it all down. Seriously, friend.
• 4:20
  Having your priorities on paper will keep you focused when options start to feel overwhelming. And don't just think about today. Think about where your family is heading. If you're considering a co op for younger kids, will it it serve your family's needs as your children grow older? Planning for both the present and the future is a game changer.
• 4:39
  Tip number two, go beyond first impressions. Ask intentional questions. When you visit a co op, it's easy to get swept up in the energy of busy classrooms and all the smiling faces, but don't stop at just those first impressions. This is your chance to ask the deeper questions that reveal whether a group is solid or a match for your family. For example, what do their daily routines look like?
• 5:04
  How flexible are they with your family's individual needs? If it's a faith based co op, find out how that is integrated into the program. Ask about policies for conflicts or behavioral issues and how those are communicated to parents. And here's a tip that's worth its weight in gold. See if you can talk to a parent who is currently part of the co op.
• 5:25
  They'll often share insights that leadership might not mention upfront. Alright, mama. We're off to a strong start with two key tips so far to help you choose a co op that is the right fit for your family and we're just getting warmed up. After the break, I'll share two more game changing tips that will take your co op search to the next level. You won't want to miss it.
• 5:43
  Especially tip four, which often goes overlooked, but it makes all the difference. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle Now, yes, I know Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now, many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have?
• 6:34
  BJU Press homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too, visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. I've got some news. There's a new reading curriculum that ditches workbooks and drills for fun and games.
• 7:07
  If you're thinking fun and games sounds a little too good to be true, it's not. Ninety eight percent of children improve their reading test scores in just six weeks with the reading skill set by Lovevery. It's a phonics based program that follows the science of reading, but makes learning to read fun, motivating, and confidence boosting because it happens by playing games and then practicing with just right skill level books. Kids love it and parent educators love it, and it works. Visit lovevery.com/christyfaith today and use code christy 10 to get 10% off your purchase of the reading skill set by Lovevery.
• 7:45
  That's lovevery.com/christyfaith. Welcome back. Now to tip number three, understand the commitment. This isn't just about finding a co op that fits into your schedule. It's about figuring out whether it enhances your family's rhythm or completely appends it.
• 8:04
  Beyond the obvious time commitment, think about how the coop will impact your energy, your finances, and even your mental health. Now here's a mistake that I made. Read the fine print. I've joined co ops that had really strange rules that didn't really make sense to me. And at first, I didn't think it would matter.
• 8:21
  But as my kids got older, it actually started to matter very much. So make sure you're aware of the rules and stipulations that these co ops have. For instance, will you be expected to volunteer or teach? Is there a fundraising commitment or additional costs like field trips or resource fees? Visualize what your day to day life will look like with this co op in the mix.
• 8:43
  Does it spark excitement or does it add stress? If the latter, take it as a sign to reassess. The best co ops enrich your life without draining your reserves. Now, that's not to say that you're not gonna volunteer. Most co ops do have a volunteer component, but even that is something that can be doable and you can be excited about.
• 9:01
  I've not joined co ops because the parent expectation for volunteering was too high for what I was able to give in that season. And the co op was great and it could have been an awesome fit for my family, but it wasn't a fit for me as a working homeschool mom, so we had to decline. We found other ways to find community, which I'm gonna get into later in the episode when you have a season without community. And can you homeschool without community? The answer is absolutely.
• 9:27
  Let's head into tip number four, evaluate leadership and membership dynamics. Most people focus on leadership when visiting a co op and, yes, that's absolutely crucial, but don't forget to assess and observe the group itself. Leadership can set the tone, but the day to day experience often comes down to the members. Watch how the families interact. Do the kids seem engaged and respectful?
• 9:51
  Are the parents building one another up or do you sense an underlying tension? This matters because a co op is more than an educational program. It's a community. And though no community is perfect, there are healthy communities and there are toxic communities. Yes, even in the homeschool co op world.
• 10:08
  If the culture feels aligned with your values and the energy is positive, that's a great foundation to build on. And remember, leadership should be approachable, but they should also have clear guidelines and a vision that reflects stability. You wanna see a balance of flexibility and structure with how the group operates. If you are sensing leadership that has very rigid thinking, chances are that's gonna cause some stress down the road. Oh, yeah.
• 10:35
  Which brings me to another co op that we actually turned down. When I met with the leadership, there was a sense of rigid thinking across the board, very black and white thinking. I know with my personality where as I have matured, I realize how gray the world really is and how much grace needs to be extended to others. I knew from that very first Zoom that I was not gonna mesh well with the leader and so we declined that co op as well. Watch.
• 11:04
  This is gonna be a podcast of all the co ops that Christy didn't join. Oh my goodness. This is gonna be hilarious. By going deeper with these tips, you'll move beyond the surface and uncover elements of a co op that truly matter. Whether you're on the hunt for enrichment opportunities or simply a place to connect, remember, you're not just choosing a co op.
• 11:24
  You're investing in your family's homeschool experience. Be patient, purposeful, and above all, trust your gut. Oh, which reminds me, if you're looking for a community that's welcoming, supportive, and filled with like minded homeschool moms, don't forget to check out my community, Thrive Homeschool Community. It just might be exactly what you need. It's a space just created for you, mama, a place where you can nurture your own friendships outside the dynamic of your kids' social circles.
• 11:53
  Sometimes it's refreshing and even necessary to have a safe, drama free community where you feel genuinely supported. Thrive is designed for every homeschool mom, everyone, no matter the season that you're in, whether you're just starting out or have been homeschooling for decades. It's truly a how to paradise for homeschool moms, offering master classes taught by experts, monthly drops of free resources that you normally would have to pay for like my unit studies in my store, my website, and improve your office hours, and a wealth of additional resources to lighten your load and inspire your homeschool. Sound like a fit? Check us out.
• 12:41
  A link to find out more is in the show notes, and I hope to see you on a Zoom office hours live soon. Alright. We've covered four essential tips for choosing the right co op, but we're not done yet. When we come back, we'll tackle those tricky red flags you absolutely need to watch out for. Trust me, mama.
• 12:59
  I wish someone had warned me about these back when I started homeschooling. It would have saved me so much frustration. Stick around. You're not gonna wanna miss it. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homeschool.
• 13:12
  At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order. Until one day, I tried CTC math. CTC math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace. It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to, and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently.
• 13:45
  With CTC math, your child is getting a top notch education, and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles. You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers.
• 14:12
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• 14:40
  Welcome back. Okay, mama. Now that we've covered the how to choose the right co op, it's time to get real about some potential challenges. Don't forget that in the show notes, I have a free download for you called 15 Questions Every Homeschool Mom Should Ask Before Choosing a Co op. It goes beyond the four that we're talking about today and it is free for everybody listening to this episode today.
• 15:02
  Okay. So no matter how great a group may seem, there are a few red flags to keep on your radar. But don't worry though, I've got some practical ways to handle these so you can make informed decisions without the drama. Don't we just I'm you know, I feel too old for drama. I'm too busy for drama.
• 15:19
  I was telling my kids last night at dinner that if you, like, observe someone who's really gossipy, they're not busy enough. Like, I got things to do. I can't be walking around talking about people. Let's get into our three practical warnings. Warning number one.
• 15:34
  Look for signs of negative talk or gossip. We know that gossip is toxic for any group and co ops are no exception. While you might not know much about the people during your very first visit, there are subtle cues that you can be looking for and please do look for them. Pay attention to the tone of interactions. Are conversations mostly positive and solution focused, or do you sense negativity or judgment in the air?
• 16:00
  Now I hate to say this and maybe I should cut this out of the episode, but I do feel like there are some people in the homeschool community that really hang on to their methods and their co ops and their curriculum, and they really view it as the way to homeschool, not their way to homeschool. And I just want you to recognize that's really insecurity on their part. But if someone is like that, extremely rigid in their thinking and believe you have to homeschool their way or you're homeschooling wrong, that is not a group that you wanna be in. Look out for conversations where people are talking about each other or even about leadership. Are the remarks filled with encouragement and collaboration or is there an undercurrent of complaints or unkindness?
• 16:44
  These dynamics often trickle all throughout the group, so please take note. Co ops have a tone. Make sure you like it. And here's where the homeschool world has its unique quirks. While you may not know anyone at the co op, there's a good chance that someone in your circle does.
• 17:02
  Don't hesitate to ask a trusted friend if you've heard anything about the group's culture. You don't need to engage in gossip to ask this question. Sometimes a quick, what's been your experience with this coop can save you a world of heartache down the road. Warning number two, Observe for clicks, both with the kids and the parents. Clicks can derail a sense of community that makes a co op thrive and they're not always obvious until you're in.
• 17:28
  But even as a newcomer, there are ways to pick up on group dynamics. Watch how families interact. Do you see moms and kids mingling across groups or are there tight knit clusters that feel difficult to approach? Here's a helpful tip for your visit. Notice how they treat you.
• 17:47
  Are members welcoming and eager to include you in their conversations? Or does it feel like you're crashing someone else's party? These first interactions can say a lot about how inclusive a group is. We have intentional conversations in our home about clicks and what they are. We are the type of family where when we are about to enter a social situation like a birthday party, I actually tell my kiddos to look for someone who is not included in the group or who is playing alone and invite them in.
• 18:19
  That is what I train my kids to do and train them to see. And we also talk about times where they have felt excluded and that's how other people can feel so they know that their actions, though accidental, can come off as clicky. And we don't want that. At least for our family, we want everyone in the world to feel warm after they've had an interaction with us. I tell my kids that people never forget how you make them feel.
• 18:45
  And if a coop doesn't have this type of social awareness and they just allow the clicks to happen, that is a coop I would not join. And, again, you can leverage the homeschool world. It's smaller than you think. It's possible that someone you trust knows a family in that coop or maybe even a mom who is known for being the center of a clique, ask other people about the group's culture. And, again, you can do this without engaging in gossip yourself.
• 19:10
  You're asking about the group at large. And it's important to do. Trying to get this intel on the group's culture could help you decide if this is a culture that aligns with what you want for yourself and your kids. Alright. Let's move on to warning number three.
• 19:25
  Assess peer influence and long term fit. Culture isn't just about the here and now. It's about the ripple effect it can have for later. When visiting a coop, think about the families and kids you see as part of a bigger picture. Do these seem like the kind of peers you want your kids growing alongside in the years to come?
• 19:45
  Look at how the older kids interact with each other and the younger children. Are they supportive, respectful, and engaged? Or do you notice behaviors and attitudes that raise concerns? Often the environment your kids grow up in shapes their friendships, values, and outlook. It's worth taking the time to consider whether the co op's culture encourages growth in the right direction.
• 20:08
  And don't just stop at what you see. If you're considering long term involvement, quietly ask the leadership or a current parent what happens as kids get older. Does the co op have enough structure and community to guide teens, for example? Or does participation drop off after a while? I was in a co op once where it seemed like everyone quit homeschooling around junior high.
• 20:30
  It was highly concerning for me. By observing key moments during visits and gathering intel from your network, these warnings can serve as guideposts. A co op should offer more than academics. It should provide an uplifting and supportive environment for your whole family. And as you your options, those small details will add up and help you make the right choice.
• 20:54
  Now some encouragement for those of you who are in co op free seasons or those of you where co ops or community is not an option where you live. So let's shift gears for a moment and speak to the mamas and I know what you're thinking. Okay, Christy, this sounds all great, but a co op is just not in the cards for us right now. Maybe life is crazy or maybe you live in an area where in person co ops just aren't an option. There are a lot of mamas in Thrive who live in rural areas and Thrive is their mama community.
• 21:25
  Friend, hear me when I say this. You don't need a co op to be a great homeschool mom, and your kids don't need a coop to have an excellent and healthy social life. Yes. Community is important and it's great, but there are so many ways to foster connection and social emotional learning outside of formal co ops. Play dates, library programs, church groups, park hangouts, sports, all the things you can do with other homeschool families, those can all give you and your kids what you need without having to do with other homeschool families.
• 21:55
  Those can all give you and your kids what you need without overloading your plate. We have had seasons with co ops and seasons without co ops, and you know what? I see the beauty in both. If you want to learn more about socialization and homeschooling, I encourage you to buy my book, Homeschool Rising, and read chapter seven. I did a deep dive in psychologically and emotionally what children actually need when it comes to community and that chapter not only will encourage you but it will help you make a plan moving forward.
• 22:27
  Alright, friend. You've got your tips, your warnings, and a whole lot of encouragement. My hope is that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to make decisions that truly work for your family. As you head into this season, don't forget to grab my free guide, 15 Questions Every Homeschool Mom Should Ask Before Joining a Co op. This free guide is not on my website.
• 22:49
  It is only in the show notes for this episode. So if you have a friend who could benefit from that guide as well, go ahead and forward them this show. It's the perfect companion to this episode and will help you feel prepared and confident. We're all in this together and the more we support each other, the stronger our community becomes. Be smart about shopping around for those co ops.
• 23:11
  Until next time, remember this, mama. You've got this. Whether you join a co op, skip it entirely, or dance somewhere in between, the love and dedication you pour into your homeschool makes all the difference. Keep homeschooling. Reach out to me if you need help.
• 23:27
  We check every single email. We are only a click away. And for all of you in Thrive Homeschool community listening, I look forward to seeing your beautiful faces on our next Office Hours Zoom. See you next time.