Latest / Not Us Again... / Finding Your People & Speaking Your Truth

Transcript

Finding Your People & Speaking Your Truth · Not Us Again...

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody welcome again to podcast.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: My name is Brittany and I'm Tanisha.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for joining us today.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: It is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful day.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: I hope you guys are feeling good.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: I hope you're doing alright.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: I hope you smiled today.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: If not, I just want you to know you're beautiful.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: And if you're a guy, you're so handsome.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for joining us.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's get a part of the party.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: So, the beginning of our podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: We are two girlies who love a good matcha.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: Period.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Loves a good matcha.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: So every time we come here and do an episode, we're going to show our matcha creations.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: Take us through that, sis.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: What we got today?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: So, this name of the matcha is called Nacho Matiness.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it is.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's Nacho Matiness.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: So I so the idea was supposed to be a strawberry matcha latte.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: But we put a twist on it, a twist to it.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: Period.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: So it is, I have whole milk.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Almond milk, cuz.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then we have the matcha brand name.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's called It's On the Counter.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even remember it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: We'll have to show y'all next time.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um but what we did was that matcha um raspberry uh syrup.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: No, I feel like I did like three pumps of raspberry.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: Then we did um cookie dough creamer.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: What's the people name again?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: Chabani.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, I love their line.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: I love their line.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: It was really good.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna save it because you know when you make your matcha and it has like the different levels.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: You see the strawberry, you see the milk and all of that, but I just mixed it already.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: But it's really, really good.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: Very good.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's so good.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: I was trying to savor it and not drink it all at once.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: But it's good.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's really good.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: This is our matcha for the day.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: Do y'all like matcha?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: Some people don't like matcha.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: I love it now.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna lie to you.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: I was one of those girls that's like looking at TikTok and was like, that matcha cannot be that good.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: And we and girls would be like, oh my gosh, this is heavy.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love it.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll be like, is it really that good?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I went to Starbucks, had their had their um their summer matcha.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: It was the blue coconut.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: That one's really good.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: I tasted.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I see what they're talking about.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: That one's really good.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good matcha.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's a vibe.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's a really good matcha.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I um I used to be a coffee girly.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: I still am, y'all.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: But I think I've had too much coffee.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: Cause now my body cannot handle it.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like since I got pregnant with my son, it was like my body was like, girl, we've had too many.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: So I would do coffee all day.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, all day?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: I would I would do coffee and I probably wouldn't even eat nothing.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: If I did do coffee, if I did, I'll probably just eat like one thing.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's when I was younger.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: I was doing the most.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: I would go to McDonald's, I would go to Dunkadonuts.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: Dunkin' Donuts has some good iced coffee.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: The lodge.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: I can't, y'all.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: I can only do one cup of coffee because the thing about me is with or without coffee, I move a lot.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like a lot.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how to sit down.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: So the coffee just boosted way more than it needs to.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: It makes you too big.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm just like, what can I do?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_03: What can I do?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Should I do this?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: Should I do that?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: What can I do next?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: What can I do next?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: Matcha of the day.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: Matcha of the day.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's good.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's really good.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: So y'all gonna have to like drop like in the comments and tell us like, what is your favorite matcha?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Or are you one of those types that's like, I don't really like buying matches.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know, everybody's getting into like prices is too high.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I go home and make my matcha.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: And if you're one of those types, tell us.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: Tell us so then we can make it and see if it's good.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, drop your um your favorite, favorite, whatchallow, ingredients or your favorite way that you like to make yours.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna tell y'all the truth if it wasn't good or if it was just too sweet.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: Because I don't really like a sweet, sweet matcha.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: Even my my signature matcha is I would use honey before anything else.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: I would use the unsweetened milk.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: And use honey as a sweetener.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh it's really good.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: She sounds a little bit.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's really good.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: Did you know I have the matcha bowl and I have the um the whisk and everything?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's a vibe.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's so much fun making your matcha.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: She did have fun making bowls.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, anyways, really good.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Please let us know some of your favorite um matches that you'd like to make so we can try it.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: Would love to try it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: So what's next for me?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_03: What's next on our list?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: Let me look on my handy dandy dope.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: Honzi Ponsie.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so what's next is do you want to talk about making new friends as an adult?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, cool.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_03: Let's get into it.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: Or unpacking.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, let's do making new friends as an adult.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: So that was one of the things that really like had me thinking.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: Making new friends as an adult it's Do you think it's hard or do you think it's easier?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's very hard.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's very hard when you're moving from a different state too.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because I feel like when you're when you've lived in that state for so long, you know where to go to make new friends.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: But then because then you don't want to come off as a weirdo.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like you don't want to do too much.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: Or, you know, here in Georgia, I don't want to come off like, you know, on the other side.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's like, it's just me being friendly.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, baby, and you're in Georgia, honey.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, I don't want to do too much.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: But I think it really is hard because I think it's like a certain thing of people saying, some people's just, you know, I I just want to stick to my own people.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I got these friends, and that's just what it is.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what you want?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_03: What you trying to look for?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so when you was in Florida, was it hard for you?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like he was all over the place.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: Was it hard for you to make friends?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: Where did most of your friends come from?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Work.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: Literally, all my friends.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: I can think of any friends that I have that came from anywhere else but work.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I wonder with some people, you know how like now, since I don't even know we can say that word.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: I probably have to blank that out.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Since um that time when everybody was getting sick, um, a lot of people are transitioning to working from home.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: So, like you said, most people may meet their friends at their job.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: And then when you transition from working at the job and then working at home, it's kind of like you're now in a more isolated situation where you're not really meeting people.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: And once that portion of our life went away, not went away, but you know, died down, some people are still working from home.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: I.e.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: me, for the most part.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_03: I work from the house.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so they're not really meeting a whole lot of people.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: And you don't really see, well, some people, I it probably depends on personality.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like if you're just going out to different events or festivals and stuff, and you also have to be willing to talk.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: Have to.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta be willing to talk.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: You got to.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Even when it's just like you have to like insert yourself real quick.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like that is scary.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: That is a very scary.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: I learned something interesting about myself.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: I, and I even shared it with Cam.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: My husband is his name's Cam.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: I shared it with him.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: Cam, I may come off as outgoing and have a very outgoing personality, but I get social anxiety.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, God.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: If it's like people I don't know, I can mask it very well.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_03: But if it's people I don't know, um, or if I have to go to an event where I don't know nobody there, or even if I may know one or two people and it's a whole bunch of people I don't know, I get nervous before going.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm the total opposite, y'all.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: I uh yeah.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: Now on my face, it's going to look like I don't want to be there.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: But it's just it's I do.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: I carry a unit on my face like just don't try it.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're cool, but just don't try it.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: And um now once some music comes on, you're good to go.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like, face, everything changes, and I'm I'm vibing.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm usually always dancing by myself because that is just me.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_03: And usually, like, I remember one time I went to go and meet, like, I went uh to Maryland with my cousin.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: She took me to this island party, and if y'all don't know, my mom's family is Jamaican.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: So anything, any Caribbean music, you gonna see shine dance floor.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: And she took me to this Caribbean party.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know anybody.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: The only person I knew was her, but you know, it she wanted me to go like more in, and I'm just like, no, because I don't know Marilyn like that.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: Let me just stand back because it was it it was a club environment, and it was just one way in, one way out.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: And so, from my understanding, because I've been there before, you always want to stay close to the door just in case.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so I was just like, she was like, come on, I'm like, girl, I'm not going, like, I want to stay right here.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was dancing, mm-mm, dancing, and it was these three girls was like, girl, you just just enjoy yourself.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: They started dancing, it was like, ask me, What's my name?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_03: Where I'm from, and she really got upset.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like, she was like, Why are you talking to them?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: You just don't never know.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: Girls have a different plot.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: These girls out here be trying, and I'm like, Um they were just being nice because I was literally when she got upset, she walked away.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just, you know, they were standing with me.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: You think she walked away?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: You think she was jealous?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what because my thing that's kind of like that's kind of I don't know the word I'm looking for, but that's kind of like, well, if you was concerned about my safety, you walking away don't make no sense.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: It didn't.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like it would be, girl, come on.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: And it would be more of a comforting, like, hey girl, just by experience, these girls can be a bit much.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: So how about we just go chill?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: Or I'm gonna be with you, I'm gonna be on your side.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: Even if you talk to them, I'm with you.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: But just walking away from you, it sounded like she was jealous.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: She wanted she wanted your attention.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: She came well, she came back and she didn't tell me, so I wasn't paying her any type of attention.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: So the thing about me, girl, I can care two diddly squat cents of how you're feeling.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: If the song is playing, there's drinks to be had, I don't care.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: So the locations are pouring.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, I don't care until, like, listen, y'all, I done took pictures with these girls.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: We did a whole like, they was acting like, I mean, when I left, no lie, the girls from the group, they text me, hey, did you get to your hotel back on?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it was just like there were girls, girls.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: And they probably wasn't even from what you call it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: They was probably visiting themselves.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: Well, they did, they were from it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: They were, yeah, yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: But you I feel like sometimes that's why, and I said this to say that sometimes you have to give people a chance.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: You can't just group everybody, be like, nah, these hoes out, he'll be crazy.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, like, no, like I first of all, I'm a whole adult.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm 30 something, I think I can figure out things of how to carry myself.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm not gonna be overly friendly and tell you where my hotel is at and everything else.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly discernment and wisdom, wisdom within that.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, but then you guys, the reason why now I found out the reason why when we got to the hotel, the reason why she was upset is because she bought a section for my birthday.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: And that was the reason why she was upset, and I really so it boils back to what we talked about the other day communication.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's all you had to say.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta communicate.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: You should have said, cuz I got you a bottle, a section, and I'd have been like, oh, okay, because y'all, I am not that person.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know how like people like to walk through clubs and like and you just want to show, no, I'm not that person.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: I stay in one spot, I mind my business, and I'm just an observer.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like to do all the walkthroughs and no.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: But if she would have told me that, oh, girl, you done paid your money.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: I feel bad.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: But um, tell me if I felt bad afterwards, I didn't because it was it was no reason for it to feel bad because at the end of the day, you have to communicate, you gotta tell me what's going on, and you can't just pull another reason to be mad about at your tail because I didn't do what you want me to do.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta, hey, I have a session, or just say, I really have a surprise for you.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: So please just come with me.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I probably knowing me, I probably would have invited girls too.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, y'all.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Y'all come this way.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: No, she did not want to do this.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like, did you have people over there?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I don't know because I never went over there.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't even act.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: She didn't even girl.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: That means that baby had an attitude.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: That baby Oh, that baby was talking about you.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: What it only if y'all know, and and it's so funny.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: That cousin, I only met that cousin that year.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't even know her that well.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: And that's just like me going in.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't even know her that well, um, of us just being family, but like she was hard down.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, she didn't talk to me when we got in the car.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: She went and got to the hotel, then I saw her like tearing up, and then I was just like, okay, I'm very confused of what's going on here.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: So she was crying?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: Me being Tanisha, I'm looking for a flight to go home because I can go back to Florida, my love.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: I I I didn't come here to to for any type of for you to feel some type of way, and I'm really trying to figure out why you're crying.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: Did she say why she was crying?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: And then finally, she spoke.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: And and just remember this, she is older than me, but I guess that doesn't really mean nothing.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: Pause.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: How many years?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: She is she's I think around PD's age, so she's like 40 something.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, she's like 40 something, and finally she told me.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, cousin, you should have told me that that's not Virginia, your thing.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's why communication, I feel bad that it was like this.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just like looking at her like, uh, okay, well, me being the bigger person, just so all things will be clear, like I just told her I apologize.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: I understand if I wasted your money and you put that now that I do want to take your hand.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: I truly apologize.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: But if you would have just said that, it wouldn't have been this.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: I oh no.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay, okay.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: My question is hey, it's so many red flags.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: My thing is and okay, this is a good conversation.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because my thing is once you hit that 30 plus, we gotta move differently.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like for me, I feel like that's a response as from somebody that's like in college, or a response from somebody that's just fresh out of high school.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like, for you to be 40 plus and still don't know how to communicate your feelings, that's a that's a that's an issue.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's a problem.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like you had nothing to tell what are you apologizing for?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_03: How can and that's my thing with people, how can I apologize for something that I knew nothing about?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how can I apologize for making you cry and I don't even know what you're crying for?
• 18:03
  unknown: Yeah.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: And you and you made up a bogus story, a made-up story about these girls, and all along you just wanted me to come to the section that you purchased.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: And my thing is like y'all just met, right?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: So, and I can understand that, but you didn't say you didn't like going to the clubs, though.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: So if you ask me, hey, I want to go to the club tonight, do you like going to the club?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, I'll go to the club.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm supposed to expose every little bitty thing.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: I gotta in my mind say, oh, and also I don't like this.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: But also, I don't like, like, I think those are things that you just naturally learn about a person as you're spending time with them, as you get to know them, and you kind of compromise and you meet each other's speed of like what you like to do, what you like to handle, and what I like to do and what I like to handle.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think there was a reason for you to even apologize.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like at your big age, you should be able to communicate that part.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: Or literally say, Okay, girl, we going out.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: I have a big surprise for you, so just follow me when we get inside.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_03: But there's so many things you can do.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think, I don't think you should have apologized.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: And that's just me.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, I just feel like some people, you just gotta just even if you know, like in your mind, like I really did it, I just to make everything clear, I I truly apologize.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm quick to say it.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: Even if I know, like, just to clear the ear of exactly everything, I would just be like, I I'm so sorry.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Cause I don't know how your mind is working.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: Your mind could be like, she's a a-hole, she, it was her fault.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: It was just like just to calm your nerves and just to be good.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: I just I can see that like I'm sorry, but kind of I probably flow back to I'm sorry that made you.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_03: But again, people be like, when you say stuff like that, you're not really apologizing.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I try to reword myself and say, okay, well, I see that this made you mad and I apologize for that.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm still gonna put a however, however, friend, or however cousin, when we're talking, you gotta let me know what's going on because if not, I okay.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: So, how is y'all said that too?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, and she says that on different instances, like, y'all gotta tell my cousin, like what's going on.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: You surely do.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: So, how's y'all friendship now?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: Very stubborn.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: Did you guys hang out after that?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean, because she lives in a different state, we don't really hang out like that.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: But if she's ever here or like for me, yeah, yeah.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's cool.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing changed, you know, and I'm so glad after we left, like, nothing changed, you know.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_03: So it's cool.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so like what is your feelings on communication?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel at this age, whether it be the friends you currently have or people that you meet, does it does it show that they're good with communication?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Do you what do you think?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: What has been your experience with my friends?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: It could be your friends or people that you come in contact with because you do a lot of stuff.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: So people that you come in contact with, do you believe does it show that they have good communication skills?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, some of them.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, some of them.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then I feel like this was said to me too.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I take things and um they didn't say like I try to be funny, but I take things and be like, oh, okay, then like I I don't I don't literally listen.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm literally thinking of the what you're saying, and I'm picking out little things.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: And with my little things, I'm just completely off of what you're saying.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just wanting to kind of circulate what I want to say.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: And that's and that's not good at all.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say for real.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm circulating what I want to say.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: But then it's so crazy.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: But I so thank the Lord that He has blessed me with people to be like, if I say something, they're quick to be like, uh-uh.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: Well, before I got married, it was like, uh-uh, Wally.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, nobody never called me by my first name.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: So it was like, uh-uh, Wally.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like, now you know, you know, you was wrong for doing that.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, so you say so?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: And now I'd be like, well, I'll think about it.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: Be like, I mean, she probably got a point.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: Be like, friend, now I understand you were however.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because I always said that to my friends.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, with the type of mom I have, I always had to grow up with thick skin.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_03: Because she's very to the point.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: There was no around the bush, like it was just like you stink.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: You need to like it was no, like, probably, you know, mommy smell you, and it was no, it's like, why do you smell like that?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: No, but I think that's what you need because that's how my parents were too.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: So that's it.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: And that probably shows up in people's lives of how they communicate and how they function.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what I would want my friend to be.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like, see, I don't think tell me straight up.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_03: I have always been a proponent of, especially in friendships, baby girl, baby boy, I am not perfect by a long shot.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: By nature, because we're human, we're going to piss each other off.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: Period.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: Especially if we just met.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: Nine times out of ten, we're going to rub each other the wrong way because we're learning each other.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: If you don't tell me what I did, how I'm going to fix it.
• 24:02
  unknown: Yeah.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_03: I cannot read your mind.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: You cannot read my mind.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_03: I can't, I can maybe discern that something's off with you or you're feeling some type of way.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_03: But if you don't come out and say what XYZ is, baby, I'm on ABC.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in a whole nother stratosphere.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like we have to be able to communicate.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I and I think that's probably the hard thing.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: As you get older, I've noticed even with myself, not saying that I'm not open for new friendships.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um not saying I'm not open.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: So if we ever meet, just don't, I'm not a mean person.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, not saying I'm not open for new friendships, but I I take friendship very seriously.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like a lot of times when we become friends, now there's a difference between acquaintances and friends.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: If I call you a friend, in my mind, I have registered you as a family member.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_03: So when I'm there, I'm there.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: When we locked in, we locked in.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: So not many people can get past that door.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, as I get older, I kind of be like, it's probably gonna be a little bit struggle for some people.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I want new friends.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm okay.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't mind meeting new people.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: But you allowing people to come so far into my, I guess, in my bubble of, you know, the intimate of who I am or the vulnerability of all of me.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I um unless it's just a good person where I'm like, oh, I can actually vibe with this person.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe I will, but mentally in this point of my life, I don't really want no new friends right now.
• 25:49
  unknown: Dang.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_03: That sounds bad.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: No, it doesn't sound bad.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to wait that day.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: Probably, I I mean, okay, you're set.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: You're set.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: But I want new friends, you guys.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I have made TikToks, everything else, and it's only because I'm in a different state.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like with you being married, with you, even if you were in a relationship or anything else, it was actually a study that was even posted that women should at least go out with their friends once out of the month.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: I totally remember.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like in my book, I feel like it needs to be more than that.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: But I feel like um I have my sister here, but I feel like I need more friends.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: You need more friends.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: I need more friends, and it's just like, yeah, because she's lived here.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if we take it back to Florida, then oh, I'd be like, no, I'm all set.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm good.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't need to add nobody to this list.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, but I guess my thing is like, I don't mind meeting new people.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe that's just how I view things.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like for me, friendship.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: I like I said, when I see friendship, I I get a little deep.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, use my boo.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: I get it.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: You're in my world now, girl.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: You're here, honey bunny.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go for a ride.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I I don't mind meeting new people.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe because of my experience, okay.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've tried to do the thing.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um when I started having kids, I joined mom groups.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: So mom groups in Georgia, you can just meet up where it's like a daycare, not a daycare, meet up at like a park or meet up at like a play place, indoor play place or whatever, and just meet different moms.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_03: And like I would meet people, we would exchange numbers and nothing came from it.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_03: It was weird to me.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, even outside of like the normal days of doing stuff, hey, I plan on taking my babies to the library.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_03: You want to meet up with me?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes they'll be like, Yeah, I can.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_03: Or when it comes close to it, they change their mind.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd be like, Well, girl, what do you want me to do?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_03: Or there has been experiences where I have met some moms.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to put her business out there.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe she'll never see this.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: I won't say your name.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, where we met and she was having issues with like her vehicle or whatever.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: And for me, I'm very giving.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_03: So I was like, oh girl, I got plenty of room.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to get out of the house, I can come scoop you and your babies up, and we can just go to the park or something and just hang out for a little bit.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_03: And um, she basically just told me no in so many words.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just like, okay, well, whenever you get time, just let me know.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I feel like I may exchange numbers.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't mind meeting people.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'll give you my number.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to do play dates or if you guys are doing something, you just want me to hang out with y'all.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't mind.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's the thing of I have to really trust you, trust you to allow you to come closer into knowing everything, like giving you that vulnerable part of me.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: If that makes sense.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_03: I get you.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: I get you.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: I get you.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I guess with me, I don't really care.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, it's no steps.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I would tell you how I feel about you.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_03: I would tell you some things that I'd be like, mm-hmm so friend.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um with that suggest meeting, I'm gonna be very honest.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: I do not like how your dress code is.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like there's some things that we can like change in the dress code.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: And some people will like it, and then some don't.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_03: And those people I just be like, okay.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: I want to walk down this road with you.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me a situation.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: No names.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, to where like I'm very vocal about um like what's going on.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so one time, right?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: And what were they wearing?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I'm gonna talk about me going to someone's home.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: So the thing about me is I feel like you just never know what may come out of my mouth.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I really tried to watch it sometimes because I'm like, dang, I said it.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_03: But so I went to um this person's home.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I am very big on if you got a little coin, you can get like little things in your home.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: I hate this is like very much my pet peeve.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: And if you're out there and if we're ever gonna be friends, and if I go to your home and I see this, I don't think you should invite me because yes, I am going to talk about you and I'm going to say it in your face too.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like seeing sheets on windows.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like pin it.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_03: I like you got a sheet and you got a thumbtack there and a thumbtack there.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: You have the new Nikes, you have the new baby or the blind.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_03: You you are we can afford a five dollar rod.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: You are up to park and put some curtains on that bad boy.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: You can go to the family, uh, family dollar and get some um curtains for$7.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I literally asked that.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Why is that there?
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I didn't just I didn't get a chance because I don't be thinking of nothing like you should.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: You're a whole big grown woman, right?
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_03: With an amazing, beautiful home.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: No, take that down.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: And the next time I come, I do not want, I'm acting like a mama, and the next time I come, I don't want to see it.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_03: Even when I get on FaceTime, I'm like, show me your window, show me your window.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: Because I just I I am that friend.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be on top of you.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: I want to show you that please, come on, sis.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: We not, we move from the hood, baby in a beautiful, gated community.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta act differently.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: We can.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta let the mind shift.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta we ain't in poke beans.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_03: We ain't in a poke beans.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_03: We are not in a poke beans, baby.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: Right, we're not there anymore, honey bunny.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: So we need to be.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: We ain't in crime heels no more, boo.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we can we can do better.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_03: So and and she received it very well.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, okay, okay, gosh.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because if you got on these 200 shoes and you got this$300 purse, and you got this a thousand dollar hill hairstyle, surely we can afford to get some blinds or get some rods.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it's okay.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay for you to say, listen, that's just not me.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_03: Or if you don't have it, but when you show up in all the other areas, you got it.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: You just don't want to do that.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: Some people are just not um, because I'm not gonna even say a decorator.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: Some people are just not in tune of thinking about um stuff in the home.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: So things that I can automatically think of.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, you think I need that?
• 33:14
  unknown: Yes.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: You need it immediately.
• 33:17
  unknown: Yeah.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was very receptive.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, cool.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_03: That's how we talk, you know?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_03: I like it.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it was dealing with somebody's attire.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm always talking about somebody's attire though.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: Always.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: But I try to say it like in a jokey way because it's just like like I remember one time, so when I okay, so she started going, and she does see you, so she's gonna probably know.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: So when I first met this Fred, she always wore tights, always, always, always, everywhere we went, tights, tights, tights, tights, tights, tights.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: Now in Florida, it is hotter than Satan's toenails.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_03: Y'all they saw me.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: No, it is hotter than Satan's toenails everywhere we went.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: So finally, I said, I finally had to question her.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I had to be like, nah, Brian, you finna wear tights to this place too?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: And she like, what you trying to say?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, all I'm trying to say is, why do we always have to wear tights?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: Can we can we evolve and wear different things?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, did she have that?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: Did she have other stuff?
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but and like I said, it's where you come from there.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody wears tights and a cute little, like that was the thing.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: In Orlando, it's not the thing to wear tights everywhere you go.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: You talking about in Lauderdale?
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't know exactly where she was from, but it was just not the thing.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then she got on me and she was like, Well, what about you?
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: You always wear blazers.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's crazy.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, Yeah, I do, because I love a good blazer, y'all.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_03: Still to this day.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: I love a good blazer.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_03: And even though I can see what she was talking about because it was really hot, and I'm always wearing blazers, blazers with shorts, blazers with pants.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_03: Blazer with jaws, blazer with black jaws, wearing blazers, and then I was just like, okay, if I could take that, she could take that.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: And we literally evolved our our wardrobe of like different things.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, when I'm with her, I'm gonna wear something different so that she can be like, okay, she changed.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then she wear different things, she got out of wearing tights.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_03: Now you barely never even see her in a tight at all.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: I look I kind of like that.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: I like that to happen, yeah.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: Cause it's like I feel like um sometimes, and I'm gonna say this because we did have a sometimes people can hide behind certain things that you've been so comfortable of wearing.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes it could just come from just being comfortable, or you just not comfortable with your own self or everything, your mind just starting to get, well, I don't think I look cute in that.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: But well, I think I can't fit.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like I just just do it.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_03: You might look amazing in it, but you're just sticking to this one, I'm gonna wear this with everything.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, no, like, where like like I always when I started modeling, one lady told me something because I was just so ashamed of my legs, hated it, didn't like it, don't want to wear it.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_03: And she finally told me, and she was like, Tanisha, you have pretty legs though.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, Yeah, I think I have Jan legs, but you have what chicken legs?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, chicken legs.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: And she was like, Tanisha, you literally have to love the person that you are.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like, just love the person that you are, wearing anything.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I was just like, Okay.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: So I kind of just went and I just, you know, told her that.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I can understand that I've changed sometimes you gain a little pound and you can get comfortable in wearing certain things.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_03: I even find myself where I was just like, I just feel very comfortable in these tights.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_03: I can hide this belly in these tights.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_03: Oh and sometimes you'd be like, ah I don't wear that yet.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: Let's put this back on.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Let me lose like coming up out.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_03: They did not be put at all, but yeah, I kind of say that.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: So, yeah.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I guess it goes to say, um, even at our big age, friendships are just very interesting.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_03: And it's I think it still boils down to communication.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_03: And y'all tell us y'all's stories.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how is it with you guys dealing with friendship?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think it's hard for you to make friends?
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, do you even want friends?
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because I've had people who have said they don't want to make no friends, they are very much set um in what they do have.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm talking about not even want to meet people or hang out with other people.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_03: They don't want it.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it's kind of lonely.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: But however, common.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, just let us know what you think.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_03: And we're back.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: So, this segment is going to be about how much honesty is too much.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_03: But before we get into it, we have our lovely guests.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_03: Can you please introduce yourself?
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, this is Carmen Elise Boneyham.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_03: That's a host.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want us to call you Carmen or do you want us to call you Elise?
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_03: Elise.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_03: I like being called Elise.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody, welcome, Elise.
• 39:22
  unknown: Okay.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_03: Elise, how old are you?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: I am 17 years old.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: Period.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so um, I guess I will start off.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_03: I have to look at it.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's too much.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, in my book, there's never too much honesty.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like, okay, not to hurt anyone's feelings.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, I want to tell you the truth, but then I don't want to hurt your feelings, but then I feel like I gotta be this type of way because I feel like the world is going to give you a harsher response of what I'm going to give you.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: That I feel like they're gonna make a video, they're going to take a picture of you, they're going to talk about you.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm at least saying it to just prepare you for the outside world.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I feel like are you coming?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_03: Are you coming from a stance as being like a parent?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like where where's your mom?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm coming from all the stances.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: Cause nowadays people are going to oh, they're gonna tell you up.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: My little response, I don't feel like be that harsh.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: Then people really like you be like, dang, whoa.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I that's me.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_03: What you think?
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think it really depends on the person.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: I would say you have to know who you can be honest with.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: Cause not everybody, I would say not everybody can handle it.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: There are some people who are too sensitive.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then it's like, well.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, if not if they can't handle it, I'm not gonna want to say it.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_03: I can get that right.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: What makes you what what gives you pause?
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how do you know if a person shows like they're too sensitive?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how do you discern if you can tell somebody the truth or not?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um I would say their body language like usually gives off like defensive.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's like they're not or like the way they respond to it is very defensive.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like you'd be like, oh well, I don't think you smell great.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, no, no, I took a shower today.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you're talking about.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just like stuff stuff like that.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how to young stuff like that.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I always wonder, like, if you know, because it's different age ages here.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: We're we grown grown, big grown.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm the oldest though.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: Not by much.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm still the oldest.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: Let's just make that.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_03: Not not by much.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: Nah, it ain't that much.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: But but I definitely understand because it's like for me, I think, baby, if I don't be honest with you, who gonna be honest?
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm honest with the kids, I'm honest with friends.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because at the end of the day, like you said, if I'm not honest with you and you go out there and you're parading around smelling like a muskrat, if you got something on your teeth, I gotta say, hey, you got something right there.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like if you don't smell the greatest, hey, I think, you know, I know you want to be natural, but it's not working.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: You need that aluminum today.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you need that aluminum.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um please don't be natural.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: Don't do it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_03: And even with relationships, like people who have relationships, or whether we're talking about how they act and what they do, I gotta be honest with you, because if I'm not honest, I feel like what's the purpose of me being your friend?
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: And if you can't take my honesty as a friend and you wanna some people are crazy, they don't want to talk to you no more, or they try to ignore you, or they try to remove you from their life.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well then, child, do what you gotta do.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: But at least I can walk away knowing I was giving you my truth, and I'm not finna just lie to you.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna pacify you.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: You're right.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_03: Ain't nobody gonna do that at all.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: I would say the one thing with okay.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: So if you don't know, okay, so Carmen's Carmen's my daughter, right?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_03: So this is one, this is let me give y'all an instance of like honesty.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_03: We have a lot.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes she can probably say that I'm a little bit Too much, but it's just how I grew up.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_03: So one time, I think probably you think your mama too much?
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_02: I would say too much, but I feel like certain things they just like it's like you have to know how to say it to somebody.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, you can be honest, but there's a way that you can say it to certain people.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I just don't be caring for that.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: So um but but she but you know what she very much hold me accountable to it because I remember we were in Port Lauderdale.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I forgot what happened.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think I spazzed out.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: So sometimes I do.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: I spaz, I spazzed out over like sometimes it can be little to you but big to me.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: So um I think I spazzed out and I said something to her, and I just I went in the room, slammed the door, and was like, I was done.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: I dropped the mic, I was done.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_03: So and I remember telling her, if I and I feel like as parents, sometimes we sometimes do have to just because your parent did it to you, didn't doesn't mean that that was good.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I told her anytime I always told myself when I have kids, I want to be as open as possible.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_03: If you feel like I've hurt your feelings, if you feel like I've said something that probably I could have worked on, or if you just want to talk, even though I may be like cringing inside and being like, oh my god, oh my god, what's she talking about?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_03: What like just talk to me, I will get over it.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I told her I was like, if I ever because because we grew up two different ways, she's very sensitive, and I'm not so sensitive.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um I have to learn a way to communicate with her.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: So when she came to me and she was like, she knocked on the door and she was like, um, so this is how she always starts off.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, she'd be like, Can I talk to you for a second?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_03: And she has that mellow voice, can I talk to you?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm watching TV, so I'm kind of like still upset.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I was like, What you what you want to talk about?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm already coming in, like try it.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_03: And so she was like, No, like I I wanna so we went in the closet.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_03: The closet is light, but so small, but it was like a little getaway from a getaway of all everybody else hearing us, and she was just like, I did not like the way that she talked to me.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_03: I felt like you could have came a little bit differently, um, and she was just like, I didn't like it.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: It made me feel some type of way, and I had to take accountability of being like, dang, okay, I'm sorry, because I, you know, you don't know how sometimes you say things and you be like, I'm not thinking, I'm thinking of everything else, and so just taking that moment out, I was just like, okay, from here on out, I every time I talk to her, I'm like, I'm going to practice.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_03: I never say I'm going to do it, I always tell people I'm going to practice of not doing it because I don't want you feeling like I'm just rah-rah.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like I'm not trying to work on my communication with you.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm going to make sure with one chop, I can talk to like uh the next one.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_03: I can be like, all right, let's, you know, let's think about this and the next.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm uh learning of how to communicate.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: So that was a good, good one of an example of first of all, I feel like listening to how a person wants you to communicate to them, like actively listen, not just be like, okay, I'll try.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_03: And then the next time you'd be like, did they think about the conversation that we had?
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: Because I don't feel like you did.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't feel like you took notes, mental notes, of how I want to be treated.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: That is that is a big thing.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_03: I think sometimes people don't take in of how another person wants to be treated.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: Some people are like over-excessive, like touchers, like they they always want to hug.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_03: They always want to, and some people be like, don't do that.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: If you do that, I'm going to punch you like you're doing too much.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: Some people they want they're big on affirmations.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: Please talk to me good.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_03: Please always praise me.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_03: My son is like that.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_03: He's a big praiser.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: You like I'm learning the older he gets, he loves praises.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, okay.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm learning every little thing that he does.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_03: I have to praise.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_03: Good job.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, you did wonderful.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm I have to be that way with him.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: So I get it.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he likes to be affirmed, but also he gotta be taught everybody can affirm it.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's not, you're only gonna get it from your mama.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_03: You're only gonna get it from your mama.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, Carmen.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_03: I think that was a good example.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so walk me through that situation.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_03: Do you remember it?
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_03: So walk me walk us through that situation.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_03: What like what led up to you saying, like, I gotta say something, or what made you comfortable to do it?
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, well, it was it was like, okay, we had just had like a big party.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um and everybody was cleaning up.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so I left my stuff there.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, just there.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I was thinking like we were just gonna ghost the house and we were gonna come back.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: So we went and then she called me and she was like, Why'd you leave your stuff here?
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm supposed to clean it up.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I said I said, Oh, I didn't realize like we were so she's like, that doesn't make sense.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_02: And then we were just it was yeah.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_02: So we were talking about it.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_02: I came back and then you know, you could just tell like the the the tensions is the tensions high.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was just very she gave me that energy, yeah.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then I don't remember what was said even then.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think did I think um when everybody came in and I was like, nobody get on their tablets, everybody should be cleaning up right now.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to see nobody on their phone, and I saw her like texting, and I'm like, I didn't hit you over.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, like you are not listening, and I went to my husband and I was like, and I was like, you're not listening.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_03: And he was like, just put your foot down, just tell him.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I go back and I'm like, you know what?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like once I get to cussing, like that's when I'm really pissed.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've done had it.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like talking nor it's just not working.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I should cuss.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_03: Probably that will work, probably that will get you to move a little faster.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_03: But Carmen likes to like when you tell her to do stuff, Carmen likes to go her pace, you know.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_03: Sis likes to take her time.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: Is that true?
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: Give me, give me a second.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: She said a lot.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is that true?
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like yeah, I do, I I definitely do.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um Carmen, I thought Carl's a lot.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, I know, and I did apologize for that because I was like, dang, I should have I should have definitely got up the first time she said get up.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: So that was something I apologized for.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_03: She literally, she literally, and you know, Brit, she tested me because she sat on her bed.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_03: She sat on her bed and and I'm just walking back and forth just to see.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, so she seen you walking back.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: I walk back and forth, she's like, I mean texting.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, if I can just she was pushing that button, she was trying to see how far she could go.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you were texting a boundary.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_03: And what happened?
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_03: But when you talk to her, like what in your mind, or did you know how like some kids, how we grew up.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you something.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_03: We could say nothing.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's whatever happened, there's no talking back, there's no conversation.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: What I said is what I said.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care if you met, indifferent, sad, happy, whatever, you can't come to me and tell me nothing.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_03: So it has to be something that you've grown up with to make you feel comfortable where you could go and have a conversation with her.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_03: What what is it for you?
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, to me, it's like I knew that if I didn't like talk about it, at least clear the air, then it the energy would have been off for like the rest of the week.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like there was no way that we could have like, how do I there's no way we could have went about it like normal, just everybody normally having conversations if we would have never talked about what happened.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_02: Cause I knew I was wrong.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then I also knew how I felt about how I was spoken to, so it's just like I feel the way, I know that she feels the way, so obviously we have to talk about it or else there's no way to res there's no other way it would have been resolved.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: Did you feel nervous when you had to talk to her?
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_03: You did I do that a lot.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_02: No matter how many times, no matter who I'm talking to, I'm always gonna shake or you're gonna hear something in my voice.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it's just like But she felt comfortable enough to say it.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I I just wanna say, good job, parents.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_03: Not taking it away from you.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_03: But good job, parents, because I even do that with my kids at a young age.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I've always told um Cam, like, I want my kids to feel comfortable to come to me about any and everything.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care what it is.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: It can be about sex, it can be about, you know, things that they're scared of, anxiety, depression.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like I want them to be able to talk.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I think there's a big difference with us as millennials and how we're raising our kids, where they feel comfortable to come and talk to us.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_03: And as you know, Cam Cam is going to speak her money if she don't nothing else.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_03: She's gonna come and say, I don't like the way you're talking to me.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: And you're yelling at me right now, and I don't like that.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I love that about it because I want them to be able to use their voice.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_03: So the fact that you can use your voice is a beautiful thing.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: I will say that it's gotten better like the communication between everybody in the house, I will say.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: So like we're talking about dynamics of a family.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: What about your friends?
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel like the friends that you have, you can be open and honest with them?
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: And can they be open and honest with you?
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_02: I will say, um I have three friends that I I know I can talk to.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I I don't know if I should say their names or not, but I'll say you have two.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_03: And she doesn't and I'm having to scrub it.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta blake those names out.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I have these three friends that I know I can like be open and honest with, and they can be open and honest with me too.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I have been having trouble with this one friend who I consider my best friend.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_02: Where it's just like I don't feel like I can be honest with her.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've tried to be honest with her so so many times, and it's just like every time it's like there's either always an excuse or it's just like you she takes it in, but then it's obvious like you're not really taking it in.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_02: It goes in one ear and out the other.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: Is she defensive?
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_03: How do you get that?
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_02: You don't?
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: So what you do?
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: I just go on about my day.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even talk like anymore.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like I stopped waiting to like I stop trying to go to her first.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_02: I don't do that anymore.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's obvious it's not working.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_02: So do you do you consider that to be your friend?
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: I won't say friend anymore.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like to me, it's like if I can't I feel like that's something that you need to have in your friend.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be honest.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be able to be honest with them.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_02: If you're not able to be honest, then it's just like what are we doing?
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's a communication piece of the community.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_03: Even at a tender age.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_03: And that's sad though.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think that's what we were talking about earlier.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's like even based on like how was you raised.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_03: Are are your parents honest with you?
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's a different shift.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_03: When your parents are honest with you, it gives you the power to be honest with other people and take people honesty as well.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_03: Because it ain't gonna hurt you.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_03: We we friends.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to help you.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I want you to be honest with me too.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man, girl, man.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_03: And that's and and I feel like that is a very good for you to be your age and you're having that conversation with her of being like, uh, at this moment, you fumbled in an evolution like a whole lot of times.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I have had that, uh probably I just never had a friend to I think at your age for you to care for a friend at 17.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's very awesome.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't thinking about that.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_03: If like you're fumbling the ball, then I'm gonna be like, okay, bye.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like I wasn't thinking of repairing, I wasn't thinking of like us having a conversation um at all.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_03: Cause I'm like thinking in my head, well, hey, you're probably doing whatever you're doing.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody has replaced me in a friendship.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm already thinking a lot in my head, so I don't feel like I I yeah, I wasn't thinking of that at 17.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_03: Were you?
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_03: And why are you talking about I was trying to think if I was, I don't think I wasn't mature in communication at 17.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_03: No, I think my communication sucked, but at that time, I really do.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I you know, I'd be trying to be my own lip therapist.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_03: I also think it, I think it had a lot to do with how we was raised.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I didn't come from a no T no shade.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't come from a a household where I felt comfortable to have conversations.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I was in a household where I was talked at a lot.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: I talk.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_03: You listen, and after you listen, you go do what I said.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_03: But it was never something where I felt like I could just and I think that's why my mind reverted to when I have my own kids.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_03: I want us to talk.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_03: I want to know everything.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_03: How do you feel today?
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like what's going on?
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_03: And even at their young age, I did with Zia the other day when he came home from school.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, okay, Zion, I got some questions for you.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_03: What made you laugh today?
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_03: What made you smile today?
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_03: What made you angry today?
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_03: What made you laugh today?
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_03: And my thing is it's teaching you how to communicate, it's teaching you how to understand your emotions and to speak out of your emotions.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: I did emotion wheels with my kids.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_03: This is angry, this is happy, and giving other words for it.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_03: So as you get older, when you have to explain yourself to somebody else, you'll know what words to use and you feel comfortable with doing it.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because my mom taught to me.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: And if I can talk to my mama, I can talk to anybody about anything.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's good.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: I can do that.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's really good.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm also check, I'm also extra.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_03: So you're very much.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm very much extra.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_03: She's very much.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_03: She's she's into the me.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, let's just do a mental check.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_03: How you feeling?
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_03: And they would just be like, I don't know.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, how do you not know about your own self?
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_03: I never I every time when Ben and Carmen says that, every time they be like, I don't know, I'd be like, How do you not?
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_03: I know how I'm feeling.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_03: But that's why at their tender age, that's why you it's almost like you have to ask different questions.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_03: If you ask how you feeling, their mind automatically reverts to, I'm good.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm alright.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_03: Because they're thinking about in that moment at that second.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_03: But if you ask more of the specific questions, my thing is I want you to think about what I'm What made you laugh?
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what's going on?
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_02: You put your hand up.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_02: I also feel like it's whenever we get asked that question, it's not just like we're thinking, oh yeah, automatically I'm good.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's also like sometimes we have like a lot of negative emotions and we can't pinpoint which one that we're actually feeling.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm saying that, yeah.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_03: But then if you can't pinpoint the one that you're feeling, then you should just say among.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm feeling like I'm gonna punch somebody.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm feeling like I'm just like confused right now of where I want to be in life.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_03: I'm figuring out like I like at least list down to where then it's like okay, let's start here, let's unpack here then.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like at least I feel like at least give me something to work with.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like so how do we do that?
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_03: So if you don't know how to pinpoint how you feel, what can we do as parents?
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_03: Your your first support of being able to I understand what's going on with you.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um what makes you feel comfortable to talk?
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_03: What does that look like?
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_03: Can I tell you this, what I think yours is?
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I could be wrong, you tell me if I'm wrong.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I've kind of even noticed it with Ben.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_03: Ben probably like, leave my name out of it.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_03: But um even with Ben, when we went to Brendan's football game.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_03: Ben, by nature to me, seems very quiet.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_03: He doesn't talk a whole much.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: When he talks, he's gonna talk.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it wasn't until I didn't even ask him how he was feeling.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't until I said, Man, you wanna go get icy, one of the little Italian ice things?
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_03: And he was like, Yeah.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_03: And we walking in silence, and all of a sudden he just started talking.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I think it's just being in a comfortable place, right?
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like for you, I think it comes for more when you're doing creative stuff.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_03: You might be doing something where you're playing with your mom, y'all playing a game or something, um, or you guys are just out and about, but you're doing something more creative, you feel open to this feels safe.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's a safe space.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_03: Let me just say what's on my mind.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I think for you.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_03: You have to be, I feel like all teams that I've noticed, when you create a safe space for them, they just divulge the information.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't ask Ben what's going on in his mind.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_03: He told me what was going on in his mind.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I did a lot of the listening.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_03: Not even trying to solve it, but just being a listener and saying, I can understand that.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_03: That is a lot.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_03: That's hard to deal with.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_03: I definitely get it, you know?
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_03: What you think about that?
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_02: I would say that is true.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like um another thing to add on to it is um just no judgment.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because as soon as we see, as soon as we start saying what's on our mind, and then we look at y'all's face, it's just like, okay, hold on.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to say it no more.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_02: Cause it feels like you're judging me.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_03: That could probably be something we can be fun.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_03: I don't feel like I I feel like my face be the same.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_03: I just see like it it's just I try to not show it on my face, but I'm just like, wow.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I remember this one time we were taking a road trip.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_03: Was it a road trip or we were going somewhere?
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_03: And Harmon was just, I mean, sis was pow, pow, pow, pow.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, she's just like, yeah, because like in my relationship, and I'm just like, oh my god, it's a lie.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_03: This is a lie.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just trying to focus on looking outside.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_03: And Benny was just like, like Brother Man was just like, okay.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, he was taking it way better than me.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just like, okay.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think my issue is if I hear something that I feel like I need to protect you in, my eyes might shift a little bit.
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then my questions turned in, Are you okay?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_03: Do I need to go up to the school?
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_03: What do I need to do?
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_03: What need what's happening here?
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, I think I am the same way.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, when it comes down to like the kids I work with or being everybody auntsy and everybody comes to the house, and when they start talking, I'm just even killed.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like, huh?
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I told you the conversation I had.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to put all that business out there.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_03: My eldest child, she's getting older, she's in her teenage years, and she had her best friend over who was getting ready to go in her teenage years.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_03: And some of the things that they were talking about, I was like, I think I told you, I was like, I've created a very, very safe place.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because the stuff that we're talking about right now, baby.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: You're thirteen.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_03: What are we talking about?
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_03: The things are different.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_03: We're talking about sexuality.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we're talking about racial relationships.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we're talking about this boy won't uh this boy cheating on this girl or this girl.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like Okay.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's interesting.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_03: And how do you feel about that?
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_03: And on the inside, I ain't gonna hold you.
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm screaming.
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_03: Cause why am I having this conversation with my 13 year olds?
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is scary.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_03: Parenting is a lot, yeah.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_03: Y'all are beautiful, but it's a lot of people.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_03: Things are different.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't say things are different.
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think things are more because of social media.
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_03: Things are more um what would you call it?
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_03: Assessive.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um like all they have to do is press the button and then they know things, and it's like but how do you know that?
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's my thing.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_03: How do you even know about that?
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't even I didn't even talk to you yet about that.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like you know more than me.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_03: But sometimes you gotta get ahead of that.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I feel like I need to talk to you before they talk to you because when you learn from them, it's gonna be so much so many.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_03: But what do you think as your age?
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think um as you were growing up, some things that you wish like your parents talked to you about?
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, man, I wish they could have told me that.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_03: So I can have more understanding of going throughout my life of being like, okay, this is how I handle it.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_03: Or oh, okay, I see what they're talking about in this instance.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um well, top three I would say right now is sex, hygiene, and no, mainly just us two.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_02: That you wish they thought to you about or gave me a better understanding on.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_02: Especially I can understand, like, yeah, we're probably like six or seven right now.
• 1:08:29
  SPEAKER_02: But not seems like it's like I don't expect you to give me like a full through, like, hey, this is how this goes.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, I expect you to be like, hey, this isn't okay.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, nobody should be doing this with you.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like stuff like that.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_02: And then with hygiene, it's like, hey, this is how you should be washing yourself.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, you shouldn't be wiping yourself like that, or hey, you shouldn't like stuff like that.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_03: And you got some parents who it's hard for them to me.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_03: It ain't.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_03: It ain't I listen.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_03: I taught we taught our child children the anatomy of the body.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_03: And when we say your vagina, we're not saying your purse or your lobby.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's your vagina.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what it's called.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it's called.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it's called.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I think that probably comes from the nature of you working with defects and working with a lot of foster children and the stuff that they experience.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, working with children, they deal with abuse and all the things.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_03: My thing was how I want to teach my children everything.
• 1:09:35
  SPEAKER_03: Your private areas.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody's ever allowed to do this.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_03: What are your private areas?
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_03: This is a no-no.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody do that to you, you don't do that to nobody.
• 1:09:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you got some parents they cringe at that.
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_03: Cringe.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_03: They don't know how.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_03: Or I think that they just don't want to get into it.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's just like an area of like because my mom, sis ain't gonna talk about sex with you, because sis is holy.
• 1:10:01
  SPEAKER_03: You don't even need to be thinking about that until you're in a while you need to be thinking about G.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it's just like, no, like let's be real, let's be honest.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_03: So sex that wasn't talked about with my mom.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_03: There was zero, none.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, hygiene, very much so.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_03: She's she lists down everything to where like it was on in my room.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_03: She like listed things, like she actually stacked everything up.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_03: And if you ran out, I was literally going to get a punch dead in my chest.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_03: If it's like, why you didn't tell me you needed that?
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_03: Why like it was it was hygiene is very big to her, and now in little things of like I remember when she walked in one day and I was like shaving, and she was like, How do you know to do that?
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, because I had to go to my friend's house and I saw my friend doing it, and she was like, But what is it called?
• 1:11:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what are you trying to do?
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_03: Why are you doing it now?
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, cuz I just saw her doing it.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_03: So I just thought that all girls do it, and she was like, Okay, is that something that we're adding to the list?
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_03: And she added it onto the list, so it was Did she talk to you about it though?
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:11:23
  SPEAKER_03: She just added onto the list.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, Oh, that's what you're into now?
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, all right.
• 1:11:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's what it is.
• 1:11:32
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of other generations, that's just not that's just not what they did.
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like I don't want to talk like if that's what you do.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_03: The conversation is you don't do it.
• 1:11:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's what it is.
• 1:11:44
  SPEAKER_03: You don't, and that's all.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man Do you do you feel like you're getting those conversations down?
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 1:11:53
  SPEAKER_02: I just wish I would have had it a little bit earlier.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's understandable.
• 1:11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like it could have prevented a lot.
• 1:12:05
  SPEAKER_03: I think it always can can like prevent a lot.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_03: I always I always felt I always feel like anytime I said I was gonna have like, she is going, since you going to know honey.
• 1:12:19
  SPEAKER_03: I I just feel like, listen, I remember one time, this is a very embarrassing moment, but who cares?
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I remember I was on a date with a guy, and I think no, I don't think I was no, I was home and I was cleaning, doing everything, whatever, and I had a boyfriend to stop my in my apartment, and he was like, Did you like bathe today?
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, Oh man, I was like, I do like it.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_03: But he was like, Yeah, I think you need to do that again, and how men, if you're if you're dating a person, that is right, like and men are just straight to the point.
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_03: There's no paddle of like there's no in-between.
• 1:13:10
  SPEAKER_03: So when he said that, listen, that check, I mean, that got so deep in my head to where I don't fumble the ball anymore.
• 1:13:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't do it anymore.
• 1:13:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like, no, I'm on it.
• 1:13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like, after he said that, and it was so sweet, it's not like he felt some type of way and left.
• 1:13:32
  SPEAKER_03: It was just like, and he really told me he was like, like T, like I get you cleaning, you doing everything, but yeah, you and I was just like, you know, when you just in the midst of your cleaning, you're not thinking of them.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, oh, I can just put some a clean t-shirt on spray.
• 1:13:48
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, no, run that again.
• 1:13:51
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think of being honest of being a lady, you know, I feel like some ladies especially a lady, we got too many things going on, too much.
• 1:14:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I told you, I was like, that hot pocket is a self-cleaner.
• 1:14:07
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah, you have to make sure you're taking care.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_03: You have to gotta make sure you're taking care of that.
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Carmen! Yes, thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna join us again?
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you should.
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we'll probably let you hit the topic next time.
• 1:14:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Well, guys, thank you so much for being here.
• 1:14:31
  SPEAKER_03: It was a really, really good time.
• 1:14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Carmen, thank you for joining us.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_03: And um, yeah, uh, we look forward to seeing you guys again.
• 1:14:40
  SPEAKER_03: Have a great, fantastic, wonderful week.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_03: May the Lord watch between me and you, and us, and us.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_03: Have a beautiful day.