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Authenticity: the elusive quality that ignites classrooms · The Conscious Classroom

• 0:10
  Amy Edelstein: Welcome to the Conscious Classroom podcast, where we're exploring tools and perspectives that support educators and anyone who works with teens to create more conscious, supportive and enriching learning environments.
• 0:22
  Amy Edelstein: I'm your host, amy Edelstein, and I'll be sharing transformative insights and easy-to-implement classroom supports that are all drawn from mindful awareness and systems thinking.
• 0:32
  Amy Edelstein: The themes we'll discuss are designed to improve your own joy and fulfillment in your work and increase your impact on the world we share.
• 0:40
  Amy Edelstein: Let's get on with this next episode.
• 0:42
  Amy Edelstein: Share let's get on with this next episode.
• 0:51
  Amy Edelstein: Hello, welcome to the conscious classroom.
• 0:52
  Amy Edelstein: My name is Amy Edelstein.
• 0:54
  Amy Edelstein: Moving forward in our conscious classroom episodes, we're going to be looking at some of the deeper qualities of mindfulness and other restorative reflective practices and how they really transform us and, as we transform, how that transforms our classrooms and our students' learning experiences.
• 1:16
  Amy Edelstein: We're also going to be doing some very interesting deeper dives into the future of education.
• 1:22
  Amy Edelstein: What's it all about?
• 1:24
  Amy Edelstein: What are we trying to do and how do we get going in enacting our beta visions of the future of education?
• 1:32
  Amy Edelstein: We'll be doing some interesting dialogues that are going to uncover probably more questions than answers this episode, though.
• 1:44
  Amy Edelstein: We're going to dive right in and talk about how mindfulness cultivates that elusive quality of authenticity, which is something prized among friends, family, peers, and also a quality or value that's very important to the younger generation.
• 2:12
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity is a very interesting quality because we know it when we feel it, when someone's being authentic, when we're almost taken off guard by someone's vulnerability, integrity of being, where, what they say, who they are, what they believe in and how they live all line up where we feel that sense of transparency, that sense where there are no veils or subterfuges covering that person, where their heart is on their sleeve, whether they're telling a joke or relating a serious and meaningful story.
• 2:58
  Amy Edelstein: There's a quality of sameness, of evenness, of integrity of being, of being one, of being rooted as well as being flexible.
• 3:14
  Amy Edelstein: So, as you can see, there are a lot of seeming paradoxes in someone who embodies authenticity.
• 3:23
  Amy Edelstein: Those paradoxes aren't contradictions.
• 3:26
  Amy Edelstein: They're not contradictory, they don't cancel one another out and they don't create a sense of doubt, because they're two seemingly opposable qualities coexisting in a way that makes perfect sense.
• 3:44
  Amy Edelstein: Coexisting in a way that makes perfect sense.
• 3:51
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity is a rare trait and it takes a lot to cultivate, even though it's not something that we can gear ourselves up to do.
• 3:56
  Amy Edelstein: You can't wind yourself up to be authentic.
• 3:59
  Amy Edelstein: You can't stretch your way into it, you can't warm up like you do for a performance or a race or competition or a game.
• 4:10
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity has a lot to do with resting in ourselves, with that sense of being deeply rooted in ourselves, in our heart, in our values, in what we care about, and oftentimes people don't really know what they care about, what's important to them as teachers or mentors or people who really care about creating conscious and awake environments for our young people, knowing what we care about, what we value, what's important, is crucial.
• 4:53
  Amy Edelstein: How can we guide our students to make decisions that are aligned with their higher aspirations, with what they can become, with the world they want to see, if we're not clear ourselves, if we're not taking that time to look and align and realign?
• 5:16
  Amy Edelstein: So it's interesting about why authenticity is important.
• 5:30
  Amy Edelstein: Has a lot to do with the quality of life that we want to live.
• 5:34
  Amy Edelstein: So when we're authentic means fundamentally we're true to ourselves, so we don't doubt, we don't second guess our actions, we're in alignment with our intentions and motivations, we're able to trust ourselves because our actions are going to cohere and if we make mistakes or we do something that doesn't turn out, or if our intentions turn out to be not quite as pure as we thought.
• 6:08
  Amy Edelstein: They might be, not quite as true, not quite as kind, not quite as wise, that's okay.
• 6:15
  Amy Edelstein: That quality of resilience and ability to recognize a growth point and lean in and grow beyond that limitation and become a greater person than we were.
• 6:36
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity doesn't have really anything to do with getting it right.
• 6:42
  Amy Edelstein: It has more to do with knowing what rightness means to us and really measuring that rightness against very high standards of those principles that we admire most and even those human beings who embody those principles to a great degree, people who inspire in us faith and love and a sense of safety and well-being.
• 7:39
  Amy Edelstein: I think oftentimes, in these days of options and choices and personas, of being able to become what it means to act in alignment with their own higher values and intentions and purpose.
• 7:52
  Amy Edelstein: We want to work on our own authenticity ourselves and then be able to guide our students potential movement, where you saw everything from primal screaming to, you know, pillow bashing, therapy to all kinds of experiments and free expression as a way to uncover what's going on in our psyche and emotions and hidden memories and past.
• 8:45
  Amy Edelstein: I think that what authenticity means became a little bit confused and authenticity started to mean just letting it all hang out.
• 8:57
  Amy Edelstein: Now, letting it all hang out is not necessarily authenticity.
• 9:03
  Amy Edelstein: You could be feeling angry for an absolutely petty reason and being upset in a way that you couldn't justify in the best of times, or even in the worst of times, or spewing that onto those we care about or on our colleagues and coworkers, or even on our students in class, which I have seen teachers do, is not authenticity.
• 9:34
  Amy Edelstein: It's immaturity in relationship to emotions.
• 9:38
  Amy Edelstein: It's not emotional intelligence.
• 9:42
  Amy Edelstein: When I was in my 20s, I did a month-long teacher training for yoga at a very well-known center in Western Massachusetts and one of our instructors there were probably about 100 people on a month-long course.
• 10:00
  Amy Edelstein: It was an intensive program in the mid 80s and one of our teachers was going through a separation with her husband and she had the mic and she was teaching us yoga practices and theory and at one point she just started telling us what was happening in her personal life in a very emotional and intense and distraught way and by the end of it she took the mic and just threw it down in the center of the room and even though I was just in my mid-20s, I just thought no-transcript, so that would have been an example of a mistaken understanding of emotion, of authenticity and what it could mean that we're engaged with and to recognize that, as an instructor, one holds a position of authority and is always a role model.
• 11:28
  Amy Edelstein: And, being a teacher, we always have to embrace that because, whether we like it or not, we're never off.
• 11:31
  Amy Edelstein: We're always that role model.
• 11:33
  Amy Edelstein: So our authenticity is to be true to what that means to be a role model.
• 11:40
  Amy Edelstein: And it might be for her at that moment to say you know, I'm experiencing a lot of challenges and I'm going to hand today's session over to my colleague to run with you so he can be fully present and I can tend to what needs to be tended to.
• 12:04
  Amy Edelstein: So it doesn't mean denial, but it certainly was very unhelpful for us to be exposed to that.
• 12:27
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity means being able to create a hierarchy of the roles that we're embodying at any given moment and be true to the one that is the most important at that time and that recognizes that there might be multiple roles that we're taking at any one given time and so, intuitively, we need to digest all of that, internalize it all, synthesize it all, absorb it all and have that guide our actions.
• 12:53
  Amy Edelstein: That's where mindfulness really comes in.
• 12:57
  Amy Edelstein: That's where mindfulness really comes in, because when we're really one with our practice, when practice isn't something that we sit down and do on a cushion and then get up and go do something else, when practice is just a different modality of how we explore our lives, then our mindfulness will always serve us, whether we're telling jokes and hanging out, playing with a baby, listening to someone's heartbreak, mentoring and guiding, caring for someone dear to us who's at the end of their life.
• 13:43
  Amy Edelstein: Our orientation that's been honed and refined by our formal exploration of contemplative modalities will mean that we can be authentic and present and spontaneous and unselfconscious and free in the moment.
• 14:10
  Amy Edelstein: Being self-aware which mindfulness, certain types of mindful reflection and insight practice can bring us doesn't mean that we're constantly disassociated from ourselves and sitting back on some cloud, looking down at ourselves and judging everything we're doing.
• 14:36
  Amy Edelstein: Judging everything we're doing, the type of mindfulness that I'm talking about, is not a separate voice in the head that's telling you what to do.
• 14:46
  Amy Edelstein: It's an integration.
• 14:50
  Amy Edelstein: It's almost like we're connected at an elemental level with the energy coursing through our body that keeps us alive, which is none other than the universal energy that is flowing through our whole world and solar system and cosmos.
• 15:09
  Amy Edelstein: When our practice of mindfulness helps us really understand how the mind works, how it interrelates with thought and feeling, then we become more integrated, more unified, more one.
• 15:32
  Amy Edelstein: And part of that exploration, of course, is really looking at motivation.
• 15:44
  Amy Edelstein: Why did I not want to help someone?
• 15:46
  Amy Edelstein: Was it skillful means?
• 15:49
  Amy Edelstein: Was I not the right person?
• 15:51
  Amy Edelstein: Was I not going to do a good job?
• 15:53
  Amy Edelstein: Were they in a place where they needed to do it themselves and not have somebody intervene?
• 16:01
  Amy Edelstein: Our young people need to learn how to deal with difficult situations and not always get rescued or protected.
• 16:14
  Amy Edelstein: Helicopter parent that rolls up their child up in bubble wrap so that when they fall down they bounce instead of skinning their knees, is not doing that child any good, because the child's going to grow up fearful of the world and afraid that they don't have the resources to cope because they've never tested them out.
• 16:36
  Amy Edelstein: Our students in the classroom they need to struggle with things they don't understand in a good way.
• 16:44
  Amy Edelstein: They need to dig deep and find their own resources and creativity and problem-solving skills.
• 16:51
  Amy Edelstein: And of course we support that and we discern when a student is in a negative struggle that's devolving into self-doubt and self-criticism and when they're just struggling, and that's good for them.
• 17:10
  Amy Edelstein: It helps them find their edge and it helps them grow on their own and gain confidence that they can grow.
• 17:16
  Amy Edelstein: So what's our intention?
• 17:18
  Amy Edelstein: Gain confidence that they can grow.
• 17:22
  Amy Edelstein: So what's our intention?
• 17:22
  Amy Edelstein: Mindfulness helps us see that, oh, I didn't like that child as much as the other child I helped and so I didn't extend myself.
• 17:32
  Amy Edelstein: Now, why didn't I like that child?
• 17:43
  Amy Edelstein: Was there a reason?
• 17:44
  Amy Edelstein: Was there a trigger?
• 17:44
  Amy Edelstein: Was there a memory?
• 17:45
  Amy Edelstein: Was there an association?
• 17:45
  Amy Edelstein: Was there behavior that, unless that behavior gets curved, I'm going to have to keep my distance in some way?
• 17:53
  Amy Edelstein: Teachers are human beings.
• 17:56
  Amy Edelstein: We're not automatons.
• 17:57
  Amy Edelstein: I know we are getting personalized AI tutors and those personalized AI tutors will be able to help individual children all of the time, 24-7.
• 18:09
  Amy Edelstein: But our relationships with our students and our colleagues is a human one and there has to be a give and take.
• 18:19
  Amy Edelstein: There has to be growth and development.
• 18:20
  Amy Edelstein: So these questions around what creates authenticity and looking at motivation and how that relates to authenticity are all a big part of our own practice as educators, mentors and contemplatives.
• 18:49
  Amy Edelstein: Now I think it's very powerful to reflect on the different qualities that help us stay authentic, and one of them, I think, is also balance.
• 19:02
  Amy Edelstein: When we know who we are, we're not leaning forward trying to please somebody above us for some kind of suspect reason and we're not shrinking away from calling it like it is when we need to, when we're rooted in our own deeper cares and we're not off balance, grasping after some position or recognition or acknowledgement that we want, we're able to be authentic, we're able to be present, completely present, and that's powerful because we're not contorting ourselves and our values in order to satisfy our more questionable motives.
• 20:04
  Amy Edelstein: So we can work on not grasping and being off balance and reaching out for something outside of us to fulfill us, or we can do it.
• 20:20
  Amy Edelstein: What I feel is a simpler way is to focus on centering in ourselves in that very, very mindful way, so that we're always authentic and that's going to take care of that all kinds of positioning and all kinds of ulterior motive.
• 20:38
  Amy Edelstein: Because when we're really connected with our own values in a higher way, what we aspire to become, then we're less tempted by bad motive, we're less tempted to move off balance and when somebody is doing something for an ulterior motive, you feel they're not true, they're not authentic, they're not real, you don't know who they are.
• 21:06
  Amy Edelstein: You don't know why they're doing what they're doing.
• 21:09
  Amy Edelstein: That creates a sense of lack of safety, and if there's anything that's needed in a conscious classroom these days is a sense of safety.
• 21:21
  Amy Edelstein: We need safety from gun violence oh my gosh, do we ever?
• 21:27
  Amy Edelstein: We need safety from bullying and abuse and ridicule.
• 21:34
  Amy Edelstein: We need safety from prescribed ways of being that stunt creativity, and we need safety from adults who hold power over students who are bending their values for motives that aren't so good.
• 21:59
  Amy Edelstein: It's a really big deal in our culture right now, and this doesn't mean allowing for a tyranny of cancel culture either.
• 22:20
  Amy Edelstein: We're always growing, we're always developing, we're always learning.
• 22:26
  Amy Edelstein: A diversity of viewpoints that are valid and not hateful, tolerance for others, different perspectives on life and different conclusions, being willing to learn, recognizing our common humanity is again all part of that authenticity.
• 22:48
  Amy Edelstein: Authenticity is not imposing sameness.
• 22:52
  Amy Edelstein: It's not a fascism of belief or conformity.
• 22:57
  Amy Edelstein: In our contemporary world, there's a lot that goes under the name of change, that becomes an overbearing imposition of one person or group's opinion or preference on the whole.
• 23:21
  Amy Edelstein: So we have to watch for that in ourselves.
• 23:28
  Amy Edelstein: And being true to ourselves enables others to also be free be true to, perhaps, their own cultural outlook, their own background, their own path up the mountain.
• 23:46
  Amy Edelstein: So if we're heading up the mountain to greater and greater authenticity and awakeness and mindfulness and wisdom and compassion, it's the same mountain and there are many different paths.
• 23:58
  Amy Edelstein: Let's let our different students and our different colleagues take their own path and recognize when it is the same mountain or if they've gotten lost and headed up the wrong mountain.
• 24:15
  Amy Edelstein: I was once hiking somewhere with a very good friend of mine and there was a whole group of us and there were two mountains and they looked very similar.
• 24:29
  Amy Edelstein: They were two lumps in the northern part of a country where we were hiking in, big lumps in the northern part of a country where we were hiking in and my one friend very, very confidently took us up the wrong mountain and only when we got to the top and looked down did we realize we had climbed the exact wrong one.
• 24:54
  Amy Edelstein: So it is possible to go up the wrong mountain.
• 24:55
  Amy Edelstein: Well, we don't want to do that and we don't want to let our kids do that, our students.
• 24:59
  Amy Edelstein: But if it's a different path up the mountain of self-development and unfolding of potential, the more space and room we give them and ourselves to find our way, our own way.
• 25:18
  Amy Edelstein: Then we're going to be cultivating, growing, developing, advocating for a culture of authenticity, and that's very profound.
• 25:34
  Amy Edelstein: It's hard to find.
• 25:44
  Amy Edelstein: As we start coming to the end of this reflection on authenticity, let's do a short guided mindfulness practice that will allow us to sink into ourselves and to recognize those qualities that we're always working with when we're doing our mindfulness practice, and qualities that will help us be more centered, be more grounding, be more present and more integrated, which the end result is going to be.
• 26:24
  Amy Edelstein: We're just going to be much happier, less guilty, less shame, filled with shame and less nervous about doing the wrong thing.
• 26:34
  Amy Edelstein: So let's do a little practice.
• 26:39
  Amy Edelstein: Allow yourself to rest in yourself, sitting back, releasing your grip from everything that you're trying to keep going at once, letting your eyes close so you can leave those emails and texts alone.
• 27:05
  Amy Edelstein: You won't even see them coming in, you won't feel that itch to respond.
• 27:15
  Amy Edelstein: Give yourself to this moment to pay attention to your interiority.
• 27:22
  Amy Edelstein: Hold that word, that space inside yourself, and see what arises.
• 27:48
  Amy Edelstein: Find your balance, that posture of meditation where you're not sleepy and too relaxed, where you're not tense and grasping, trying to shape your experience, where you're alert, curious, resting lightly Like when a butterfly lands on your outstretched finger you see it's there, but you can barely feel its little feet.
• 29:10
  Amy Edelstein: Hold on to your quality of attention that lightly, let a smile rise from within and settle on your face, lighting up your cheeks and your eyes and your forehead and your lips.
• 29:55
  Amy Edelstein: Pay attention to the movement of impatience, wanting things to be different than they are, wanting to disrupt the stillness just because of habit, of the difficulty of being intimate with ourselves, and let your attention fall to your intention.
• 31:10
  Amy Edelstein: What moves you?
• 31:11
  Amy Edelstein: What do you care about If everything was taken care of and there was no worry?
• 31:28
  Amy Edelstein: What draws you forward?
• 31:42
  Amy Edelstein: What gives you the greatest sense of purpose and joy?
• 32:10
  Amy Edelstein: Allow yourself to hold that intention.
• 32:11
  Amy Edelstein: Imagine imagining it was like nectar.
• 32:14
  Amy Edelstein: It was nourishing every cell of your body, your brain cells, your heart cells, your stomach cells and every other part, and notice how our deepest core values are food, not only for our soul but for our regular being in all the dimensions that we have to show up.
• 33:00
  Amy Edelstein: And on your next breath, bring your attention back to your familiar surroundings and prepare yourself to move on with that joy of authenticity, centeredness, intention and love.
• 33:38
  Amy Edelstein: I'll see you next time.
• 33:44
  Amy Edelstein: Thank you for listening to the Conscious Classroom.
• 33:50
  Amy Edelstein: I'm your host, amy Edelstein.
• 33:52
  Amy Edelstein: Please check out the show notes on innerstrengthfoundationnet for links and more information, and if you enjoyed this podcast, please share it with a friend and pass the love on.
• 34:04
  Amy Edelstein: See you next time.