Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / Empowered to Excel: Our Final Pre-Summit Chat

Transcript

Empowered to Excel: Our Final Pre-Summit Chat · Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh

0:03
Well, hello everyone and welcome to yet another episode of Chatting with the
0:07
Experts, the TV show where I speak with women from Africa and the Caribbean
0:12
and in the diaspora who are successful entrepreneurs and professionals.
0:20
They share with me a mission.
0:22
And what's that mission?
0:23
The mission is to educate, empower, and to inspire women globally through
0:29
their products or their services.
0:32
Today is a little different in that, in this episode, I am gonna have with
0:37
me, my co-host and one of the dynamic speakers of my upcoming summit.
0:43
Which is called Empowered to Excel Virtual Women's Summit.
0:49
When is that?
0:50
That is on Friday, this coming Friday and Saturday.
0:53
That is May 30th and 31st from 9:00 AM through 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time,
0:59
and it's a two day virtual summit for women entrepreneurs, for professionals,
1:04
for leaders who are focused on actionable strategies in business, in leadership,
1:11
finance, marketing, and wellness.
1:16
So without much ado, I will invite my co-host, another dynamic speaker Turiya
1:23
Hodge to join us and also Dr. Nadia Brown, who is one of the speakers on Friday.
1:30
Thank you so much, both of you, for joining us.
1:34
Awesome.
1:34
Welcome.
1:35
Thank you so much, Paula, for the invite to sit down with your audience
1:39
and Chatting with the Experts.
1:40
I am once again, Turiya Hodge, social media strategist and I am
1:44
super excited for the Empowered to Excel, two-day virtual summit.
1:49
And one of the things I'd like to do is congratulate you once again
1:52
for being obedient to the vision.
1:54
And so when I take a look at your work and what you do in bringing women, all
2:00
women of color all throughout the diaspora together, and to have a conversation
2:04
on what it means to be business leaders in our respected professions, and just
2:09
bringing everybody, you know, together to share what they have to offer so we could
2:13
all, you know, do this thing called life, do this thing called business in a way
2:17
that it benefits us all, not just us, but the people that we are purpose to serve.
2:22
So thank you so much for that, Paula.
2:24
Absolutely.
2:25
I couldn't have done this without you and all the other speakers who
2:28
said yes to being on the summit.
2:31
And so, today I'm going to introduce, I'm gonna let Dr.
2:35
Nadia Brown introduce herself.
2:36
She is one of our dynamic speakers.
2:39
I'm so excited.
2:40
So, Dr. Nadia, would you mind telling those who have joined us, who you are,
2:44
what you do, and what you are going to be sharing with them on the summit?
2:50
Yeah.
2:50
So I'm Dr. Nadia Brown.
2:52
I'm the founder of the Doyenne Agency and Doyenne means standout woman leader.
2:57
So I'm as leadership and sales strategist, and on Friday I get
3:02
to share my message, if you will.
3:04
My training will be lead with confidence, earn with courage.
3:07
A lot of times we as women are afraid to talk about the money.
3:12
Whether you're in corporate and is negotiating your salary or a raise, or
3:17
you're a business owner and it's making sure your rates are at a good place and
3:22
making sales and generating revenue.
3:24
Either way, this is gonna be a dynamic session for you.
3:27
Oh, thank you.
3:29
Thank you.
3:29
Thank you.
3:30
So, you know, one reason that I decided to do this is because, well,
3:35
first and foremost I've always wanted to do a summit, but my story has
3:39
always been one of podcast, coach encouraging of women, empowering women.
3:45
But I thought the summit would just be an ideal way to bring together even
3:48
more women to hear the... oh my gosh, the voices of the professionals that I
3:56
don't always have an opportunity to have a one-on-one show with, but to have it
4:01
now, the platform to speak with women globally about what it is that their
4:06
experts are, how things have impacted their life, and even more so for business
4:11
owners, women business owners, because that's something that, you know, we don't
4:14
always have the opportunity to experience.
4:19
So, what are we going to be teaching on or sharing that day?
4:24
I mean, what do people expect to learn from this?
4:27
Turiya, do you wanna answer that?
4:29
Yeah.
4:30
And before I answer it, I just wanna give a shout out to Dr. Nadia because
4:33
as I was sitting here and, and I'm super excited, you know, to listen to
4:38
her message and I have to just share, I've had the opportunity to work with
4:42
Dr. Nadia several years, but one of my fondest memories, and she talks about,
4:48
um, leading, selling with courage, is that I actually had Dr. Nadia work
4:53
with me on my sales script in my sales training and I still have it, Dr. Nadia.
4:59
Wow.
5:00
I still do.
5:01
Okay.
5:02
And I remember the very first time implementing that sales training
5:05
along with the sales script.
5:07
You know, I got my script right in front of me I'm on the call.
5:11
And then inside of the script, Dr. Nadia actually has, after you ask the question.
5:16
Pause.
5:17
We'll wait for the answer.
5:18
She actually wrote those things in there, and I remember going through the script
5:22
on this one particular call, and I gave my price, the investment, and right
5:29
underneath that, Dr. Nadia says, pause.
5:33
And when I tell you that pause seemed like an eternity, but I was
5:39
like, no, I'm gonna remember the training that Dr. Nadia taught me.
5:42
She taught me to pause, and as I pause.
5:46
Like, it felt like an eternity.
5:48
But the lady turned around and she says, oh, okay.
5:51
Um, I'll be able to do that.
5:53
And I was just like, wow.
5:56
If that pause was not there, I would've probably talking myself out of the sale.
6:02
So as I'm sitting here, Dr. Nadia, that's one of my fondest memories of
6:06
you and the work, you know, that you do.
6:08
And so I'm super excited that you're gonna be part, you know, of the summit.
6:13
And I can't wait to hear, you know, what are the gems that you're
6:16
gonna drop on the summit as well.
6:19
And so, along with Dr. Nadia, Paula and myself, we have amazing speakers
6:25
like Suzan Hart and Suzan Hart.
6:27
Hart's talk is gonna be leadership mastery, navigating
6:31
challenges in and inspiring teams.
6:34
Like how do you do that?
6:35
And how do you do that in times as these?
6:39
And so a lot of us are faced with different challenges, whether you are
6:44
here in the US, you're in Canada, or even globally, times are changing.
6:49
So what does it mean, you know, to navigate leadership, navigate teams
6:54
in spite of all of the different changes that we have going on?
6:58
Then we have Dr. Linnette Montae, and when I tell you, Dr. Linnette Montae, I always
7:04
say be prepared when she takes the stage.
7:08
Because she does some stepping on some toes.
7:11
She is one of the straight up, no-nonsense business coaches out there.
7:16
And so she's gonna talk about your million-dollar bottleneck.
7:19
And time is not your problem, your authority is.
7:22
So I can't wait to hear her message on that.
7:25
And then we have none other than the DeKesha Williams, the webinar queen.
7:30
She's gonna talk about how to attract your ideal clients using webinars.
7:36
Then we have Dr. Gloria Sloan, who's also gonna be gracing us, and she's gonna be
7:43
talking about storytelling for success.
7:46
So what it means to share your journey, to build emotional
7:49
connections along with others.
7:52
And so when I tell you we have an action-packed two-day
7:57
summit, come prepared.
8:00
Bring your notebook.
8:02
Come ready to learn, take notes, invite a business bestie along with
8:08
you, because I'm gonna tell you, these are all of the challenges that we see
8:13
as entrepreneurs, we see as business leaders and it's how do you navigate it?
8:18
So we've put together a team of experts to help answer some of those burning
8:22
questions and provide strategies that would allow us to move forward.
8:29
Thank you so much Turiya, for expanding on that.
8:31
And I know we have a lot more speakers we can, you know, we can
8:35
elaborate on and what they do and what expertise they're gonna be sharing.
8:39
But I wanna come back to Dr. Nadia Brown.
8:42
When I read her bio, wow!
8:44
You mentioned just how helpful she was in helping you craft your message.
8:49
And, you know, when I read her bio and Dr. Nadia Brown, you're right here
8:54
and I'm talking to you in the third person because it was so impressive
8:59
that you are a sales strategist but you have a background in engineering and a
9:03
doctorate in organizational leadership.
9:07
But you know, one thing that drove you to being successful and for starting
9:12
your agency was around your own fears about sales and success, and now you're
9:19
able to teach people how to live with confidence and to sell what they are.
9:22
Tell us a little bit more about that, because you know that always resonates
9:25
with a lot of us business owners.
9:27
We step into this and we are like, I'm so afraid.
9:30
Like for me, let me give you an example.
9:31
I was afraid of public speaking and here I am 13 years later in front
9:37
of the camera on a podcast, audio podcast first, and then video podcast.
9:43
But it came from my own pain.
9:45
It came from my own uncertainties.
9:47
It came from my own saying, oh, I wanna do this, but I'm afraid.
9:51
So tell us a bit about you.
9:52
Yeah, so I think I am probably in the majority, most women start their
9:57
businesses because we are excited or passionate about a particular
10:01
population or particular topic.
10:03
And so when I first started my business, it was, I was really focused
10:07
on helping women leaders, primarily those who had been in or who worked
10:10
in male dominant industries because that's where I'd come from, right?
10:15
And one of the things that I quickly realized though, that as a business
10:19
owner, I needed to learn how to sell.
10:22
However, I didn't like the way I'd been taught to sell or the ways that I had
10:28
seen sales demonstrated throughout my life, and just different interactions.
10:32
So it made it very difficult to be very passionate about helping these women but
10:39
not knowing how to engage with them in a way that allowed me to truly serve them.
10:44
Mm-hmm.
10:44
So that was part of my own journey, was how do I sell in a way that
10:48
feels not only in alignment, but also within my values and it feels
10:55
like I'm operating in integrity.
10:58
Because I find it very interesting that sometimes you're taught that you're gonna
11:02
work with someone, you almost bully them to work with you, and then you want to
11:06
then build this close working relationship and you wonder why it's not working.
11:11
Well, the way things started were a hot mess, so I had to figure
11:15
out a way that I could engage with people that I wanted to work with.
11:19
But we could start off on good terms, not feel like I go into
11:23
this conversation to do battle.
11:25
And so when I meet women and they're like, well, I don't like
11:27
sales because I feel like I have to convince people to work with me.
11:30
I'm like, that's not at all what you get to do when you're
11:33
having a sales conversation.
11:34
It's actually an invitation to support them and help them achieve a goal that
11:39
you have the ability to help them solve.
11:41
Right?
11:41
And so then it's like, oh wait, that whole reframing of it, or like
11:46
when Turiya talks about the sales script, which I shifted because a
11:50
lot of times we don't like scripts.
11:52
So you'll hear me often refer to those as conversation guides.
11:55
You're having a conversation with someone and, but you also have this
11:59
tool to help guide the conversation because you're going somewhere, right?
12:03
And so how do you do that in such a way?
12:05
But part of the reason why she has that pause there or silence is because what
12:10
do we do when we get uncomfortable?
12:12
We talk ourselves out of it.
12:13
Mm-hmm.
12:14
So she had the opportunity where she stated that investment and
12:17
there were stories going through her head, am I right, Turiya?
12:20
Oh yes.
12:21
There were things going through your head.
12:23
And I'm like, Uhuh, don't let the stories drive the conversation.
12:26
And when she did that, then the person that she invited
12:30
to work with her, said yes.
12:32
And so it's all those different things, but a lot of it is that mental piece.
12:36
How do we do this in a way that allows me to show up as me?
12:39
When you get to know me, I love to have fun.
12:41
I love to giggle.
12:42
Turiya tell you, we laughing all the time.
12:44
That's how, if you were to have a sales conversation with me, that's
12:47
likely what it would be like.
12:48
And that's who you get to work with, if you say yes to working with me.
12:51
It's not like that whole bait and switch.
12:53
Oh, I thought you were one way and I'll work with you in your different way.
12:56
And so, those are the things that I get to work with women on.
13:01
And then even if you're in corporate, because I know we have a blend
13:03
of women attending the summit, I remember, I can't remember the stats.
13:08
I need to look it up before Friday.
13:09
I'll get some new data.
13:10
But the stats in terms of the number of women who negotiate
13:14
their salaries, it's terrible.
13:15
And I knew this stat and I still had trouble asking for what I knew.
13:22
That I should be making.
13:23
I had the data, I knew the salary range, I knew this, I knew that.
13:27
And still, when that moment presented itself, I hesitated.
13:31
Why do we do that?
13:32
Like, what is that that fear about?
13:34
So that's what I get to talk about because it's a real thing that
13:38
even people like myself, we have the data, we've done the research.
13:41
I did a whole dissertation on women in leadership.
13:42
Like I get it.
13:43
And still when it is time for the rubber to meet the road.
13:46
And you to really stand in that you still sometimes may start sweating,
13:51
your voice may start shaking.
13:52
You may like it's a real thing.
13:54
And so how do we move past that fear that we have around money and really standing
14:00
in our power and demanding and commanding what it is that we know that we bring
14:05
the value we bring to an organization, whether we're working in a corporate
14:09
organization or we're leading our own.
14:12
Yeah.
14:13
Yeah.
14:15
Absolutely.
14:15
Amazing.
14:16
Thank you for bringing that back, Dr. Nadia, that it's not a sales
14:20
script, it's a conversation guide.
14:22
And I'll share with you like how far your influence has ran for me, because
14:28
one of the things like you said, is being able to show up in a way around
14:32
that conversation to invite people to journey along with you, you journey along
14:38
with them to achieve the desired goal.
14:41
And so, of course, you know, I'm in the social media space and one
14:44
of the things that I take a look at is like, what does it look like?
14:47
And so a lot of times is just a reframe and one of the reframes that, you
14:52
know, I had the opportunity to make in that vein instead of in content
14:55
and I'll use connecting conversations.
14:57
So what are your connecting conversations that you're having out
15:01
there in the marketplace with the people that you're purpose to serve?
15:04
So thank you so much for that.
15:06
Yeah, you're welcome.
15:06
That's juicy.
15:07
I like that.
15:08
Yeah, I'll be sharing more of that on Friday.
15:10
So I'm actually gonna be talking about social selling mastery and like what does
15:14
it mean in these day and times, you know?
15:17
So, yeah.
15:19
Well, you know, it's interesting coming back to what Turiya, you said.
15:23
Dr. Nadia helped you do, which was...
15:25
Mm-hmm.
15:26
Pause, silence.
15:28
You know, pausing before we do the next step, because I'm
15:31
hearing a lot of that from people.
15:34
It's interesting that more so this week, you know about the power
15:37
of silence, pregnant silence.
15:41
How many times, you know, we talk ourselves out of, or talk ourselves into
15:46
things because we haven't just paused.
15:50
And so I wanna pause right now and ask any members of who have
15:53
joined us, of the audience, if any of them can relate to this.
15:56
You know, where there's been a time in their life where they've had to
16:00
pause before they made a decision, and how that has impacted them.
16:05
Is there anyone who's willing to share or ask a question about that?
16:10
About the pause?
16:13
You know, I use the pause quite a bit when I'm talking to clients.
16:17
And also I have to say, I use it a lot in my personal life, you know, when
16:22
I'm talking to friends or even with my sisters, especially when we get to
16:27
a, you know, I'll just tell you when.
16:30
You know, it may be contentious with my sisters and I'm very close with them,
16:34
but one of 'em will say something that I will immediately interpret as negative.
16:41
And I've learned to just have her say more.
16:47
Sometimes it's just a matter of, say more about that, you know, and then she will
16:52
go on to explain exactly, you know, what her intent was and whatever, whatever it
16:59
is she said, or what the real meaning was.
17:01
Sometimes we just misspeak and I find that when we take a pause and calm ourselves,
17:09
kind of calm my system down, there's a much better ending to the conversation.
17:17
Yeah.
17:17
For me and for the other person, you know, for me, because I didn't jump
17:21
to conclusions and you know, walk away, you know how you walk away and
17:25
you have the imaginary conversation.
17:28
Mm-hmm.
17:28
Like, I should have said this, and you know what?
17:30
I should have laid her out.
17:33
You know what I mean?
17:34
So I don't have those internal imaginary conversations.
17:39
Whatever the confusion is isn't lingering on in my mind and in my spirit.
17:46
And so, you know, how it just leads to a whole lot of other things.
17:49
It's not just what they said.
17:50
It's the effect of what they said.
17:52
So pause has worked very effectively for me and I think the hardest thing people
17:59
struggle with is they think a pause means it has to be like five or 10 minutes.
18:06
Right.
18:06
A pause.
18:07
Sometimes a pause is just, you know, 30 seconds.
18:12
So, right.
18:13
Five or 10 or 15 minutes when a few seconds can be just as impactful.
18:19
Because I remember I had a guest on the show and she talked about
18:23
a negotiation that she had to do with a potential employer and how,
18:28
you know, she was about to say yes.
18:32
And then she paused and thought it through and then she negotiated
18:37
and she said it was when she paused that she could think through, wait a
18:40
minute, I may have some other options.
18:43
Why not put those options on the table?
18:46
And if memory says me, well, she walked away with much more than she
18:52
would've had, you know, in terms of her salary than if she had just said
18:56
outright yes without that pause.
18:59
So, yeah.
19:01
That five to 10 seconds pause can really change.
19:05
Change a lot of things.
19:07
Yeah.
19:08
Dr. Nadia, I see you nodding your head.
19:11
It really can.
19:12
I think that, you know, not being afraid to pause and to Constance's
19:17
point, sometimes it doesn't take all that, like it doesn't take a long time.
19:21
It was, you know, 32nd pause compared to a five minute pause.
19:25
But even in that 30 seconds.
19:27
It gives you that moment to, like she said, calm yourself, quiet any
19:33
of the doubts, the insecurities to really kind of bring you back and like
19:37
in your example Paula, it was like, oh wait, I may have some options.
19:42
And sometimes the easiest thing to even do that, to buy you some
19:44
more time is to ask a question.
19:47
You know, do some more probing, some digging.
19:49
Like tell me more about this and have you thought about that?
19:51
Or what about this?
19:52
And then as that person is talking, you gather yourself.
19:55
So then you don't have to have the walkaway conversation.
19:57
'cause not all of us think of all the things right in the moment.
20:00
I'm that person too Constance.
20:02
I walk away or I wake up in the middle of the night.
20:04
That's usually my worst one.
20:05
Absolutely.
20:05
I wake up at 1:30 AM and then I have the greatest comeback ever.
20:10
But of course everyone else is asleep.
20:13
So, you know, learning those different tools and tricks to one pause, take
20:17
a deep breath, and then also ask more questions sometimes to give you a moment
20:21
to not only gather more information, but to also just give you a second
20:25
to kind of get your bearings and to kind of think through what it is that
20:28
you wanna ask for, what you wanna say before you just outright say yes.
20:31
And I think sometimes as women, we've been conditioned, a lot of us that
20:35
we are, you just say yes, even when you wanna say no, even when you know
20:39
it's a no or it's not a right fit.
20:41
We've been taught to override that gut feeling.
20:44
And just say, yes, to be agreeable or to keep the peace, or whatever the reason is.
20:48
But I'm, I'm glad more of us are taking that pause.
20:51
We're learning boundaries.
20:53
We're also learning what we will and what we won't stand for.
20:56
And we're training, you know, our daughters now to make different choices.
21:00
So I'm excited about that.
21:01
Yeah, I love that.
21:02
You know, I think back also that the pause gives you leverage.
21:06
I just remember my days in corporate when something was thrown out,
21:11
especially in negotiations, and you just look at the person, you know,
21:15
and then they feel a little, oh, you know, you look at the person with that.
21:19
Mm-hmm.
21:19
You know, that's BS, right?
21:21
It's almost like what your mom did when you were growing up.
21:26
You know, she, you'd say something and she'd look over at you and
21:29
you'd know, okay, that was the line, and I need to back away from it.
21:35
The look.
21:36
The look, the look.
21:37
Oh yeah.
21:37
We all know that look.
21:38
That look.
21:41
And that's all it took.
21:42
That's all it took.
21:44
And it made you, you know, you got the look and they didn't say anything, and
21:49
you started doing a whole lot of rambling.
21:52
Mm-hmm.
21:56
Yep.
21:56
My husband and I were watching a show recently, I can't think
21:58
of the name of it, and it was an investigator and it was so funny
22:01
because she did exactly that Constance.
22:03
She would sit there and she would ask a question.
22:07
Or sometimes she wouldn't ask a question of the person who was a potential suspect
22:11
and she would just sit there and look at them and it would get so awkward.
22:15
And then they would just start telling and they would say stuff and they're
22:18
like, I know what you're thinking.
22:19
And I'm like, do you?
22:20
Because she said nothing.
22:21
And then they would start talking and then she would say nothing.
22:25
She just really mastered the power to pause.
22:27
And then they would pause and then she didn't say anything.
22:30
They would just keep going.
22:31
And so she got so much information out of them just by pausing and being quiet.
22:36
So yeah, definitely a powerful tool.
22:39
Yeah.
22:39
You know, and I wanna add to that because I just saw.
22:43
Is it Ade?
22:43
Am I pronouncing it correctly?
22:46
Ade, yes.
22:46
So we're thinking along the same lines and we're talking about sales.
22:52
So I love Dr. Nadia that you opened up the conversation in sharing that
23:01
as we position to work with others, whether it's in our business or we're
23:06
in companies, that we actually get to invite other people to who we are.
23:14
So we shouldn't be out there pretending to be other than we're not.
23:20
And as we're talking about this conversation about pausing, one
23:24
of the things that came up for me, and I don't know if this is the
23:27
same thing that Ade was thinking, but this is what I was thinking.
23:30
So sometimes we could be so much like on our own agenda in our mind,
23:35
like when we sit down to have these conversations and we know that we're
23:40
gonna say this, we're gonna say this and we're gonna ask this question,
23:43
and then this is gonna follow up next.
23:45
And so sometimes we could be so anchored into what it is like we
23:51
think is the outcome versus just creating the space, the pause to have
23:59
other people fill in what they're thinking and where they're at.
24:04
And so we're talking about pausing and it's reminding me of just Monday
24:11
I had the opportunity to spend some time with a client and I went to the
24:16
client and I had my agenda in my mind.
24:22
And it wasn't until I unpacked this that I realized what was happening.
24:26
So I had my agenda in my mind, what I want to accomplish, what the
24:31
outcome is gonna be, how we're going to get to the outcome, all of this
24:36
stuff, because I'm prepared, right?
24:38
And then I got there and then it wasn't going the way how I
24:43
anticipated going in my mind.
24:47
And in right there, I had to once again incorporate the power of the pause to
24:53
let the space be open, to have that person tell me exactly where they are,
25:03
what is it that they need at the moment to move forward to the next step.
25:09
So sometimes the pauses can be, like you said, like the 32nd pause.
25:14
Or sometimes the pause can just be, you know, a few hours to give
25:19
people just the opportunity to work things through in their mind.
25:23
So I love it that we're talking about creating the space not just
25:27
for them to give a response in a short time, but for them to really
25:32
unpack things for themselves too.
25:34
And so sometimes it might not be a response, it might just be a
25:37
question, you know, from them.
25:40
And how well are we able to hold that for them and then lean into not just what we
25:46
want the outcome to be, but what would be the best thing to help serve them?
25:51
So that's what came up for me in the power of the Pause.
25:55
That's so powerful.
25:57
That's so powerful.
25:58
And it, that goes back to what Ade has here in the chat.
26:01
In the chat, that the power of listening is very important.
26:05
I always say, you know, there's a reason why we have two ears and one mouth.
26:08
Mm-hmm.
26:09
You know, so that we can listen a lot more than we can speak.
26:14
Because once those words go out of our mouth, we can't take them back.
26:19
They're out there.
26:20
And now that we live in a world where, you know, everything, nearly
26:24
everything is being recorded.
26:26
I'm a podcast coach, so I encourage people to record, and then of course we've got
26:31
video where it's being visually recorded.
26:33
You can't take it back.
26:35
You can apologize.
26:36
You can say sorry, you can try and take it back, but it's out there forever.
26:40
These days where data is so, you know, is stored everywhere.
26:45
So, yeah.
26:47
That story you gave and then of course Dr. Nadia talking about the
26:50
power of the pause is priceless.
26:54
We need a sales personnel, as you know, entrepreneurs, to know the importance of
27:00
that silence when speaking to our clients.
27:02
Let us find out what they want and not what we think
27:07
they need or think they want.
27:09
Sometimes it's so different.
27:12
Yeah.
27:13
So different.
27:14
So again, I'm gonna open up the floor to anyone else who may have
27:17
a question or a comment as on what we have spoken about so far.
27:22
Because this is in a sense, it's given you a glimpse as
27:25
to how our summit is gonna be.
27:28
The conversations we are gonna have is really going to be impactful for
27:32
women, women entrepreneurs, women professionals, whether you're in
27:36
leadership, you're in coaching, you're in sales, whatever walk of life, or even
27:40
if you are not in any of those things, but you want to just better yourself.
27:45
Because I know for myself, I learn something new every single day,
27:50
no matter how small it is, and I cherish it because it means it's
27:54
something that I didn't know before.
27:55
And now I've added that to my knowledge bank.
27:58
So again, I'm gonna pause, pause, that's the keyword today, and ask any
28:04
of the audience members if they would like to, you know, contribute to this
28:07
conversation that we are having right now.
28:12
And you don't need to switch on your mic, I mean, no, your camera.
28:15
If you're not comfortable with that, and you don't even need to switch
28:19
on your mic, you can just type, put it in the chat and we'll address it.
28:27
All right.
28:28
Doesn't seem like we have
28:30
... Constance is...
28:31
oh, sorry, Constance, go ahead.
28:34
Well, I was really intrigued with how you turn the sales conversation
28:39
around, because I have to say that's probably my weakest point.
28:43
You know, I have a script in front of me and we go through
28:46
like, what's your problem?
28:47
And, you know, what have you tried and all of those things.
28:52
But I don't, you know, I get down to the point where they want to
28:58
know about pricing, you know, and i've stalled long enough.
29:04
I stalled probably isn't the right word.
29:06
I mean, I've gone over the why do it and you know, all of that kind of thing.
29:11
But really it comes down to, I feel people are like... I dunno what to say.
29:17
I feel like I'm not catching, I'm not weeding them out early enough.
29:22
Right?
29:22
Mm-hmm.
29:23
And I'm going through this whole spiel and it comes down to money, which
29:30
to me says they weren't at the point where they could make a decision.
29:38
Mm-hmm.
29:39
Right?
29:39
Mm-hmm.
29:40
And they were wasting my time.
29:45
I'm being very blunt with you guys.
29:47
Like I would never say this.
29:49
I would never use those words, but that's truly how I feel.
29:52
I feel like...
29:53
mm-hmm.
29:53
You know, I've invested the 20 minutes or whatever, and I realize
29:57
that people need to shop around.
30:00
But I take myself, for example, if I'm gonna buy something, I've already done
30:06
the research, I've already test you out, and I've test you out, and I've
30:10
gone to your site a gazillion times and I've had my sisters go to your site.
30:14
You know what I mean?
30:15
I did all the camouflage.
30:17
So, by the time I talk to you, I know that you are, I'm gonna sign you up.
30:22
But I feel like people.
30:25
What's frustrating for me is I think people want a coaching session.
30:32
Mm-hmm.
30:34
And not a relationship.
30:38
Does that make sense?
30:39
Yep.
30:40
And so...
30:40
a couple, oh, go ahead.
30:42
I want you to finish.
30:44
You let me that.
30:46
So I was just intrigued about how you turn it into a conversation, and
30:53
you don't feel cheated at the end.
30:57
Regardless of the outcome, like I've said to myself, divorce
31:00
yourself from the outcome.
31:02
I've tried that strategy.
31:04
I've tried the, you know, just kind of give them a little bit of coaching and
31:09
then circle back around and so there I am.
31:13
I think that's enough for you to work with, right?
31:17
Oh my gosh.
31:18
This is good.
31:19
And it's common.
31:20
It is common.
31:21
Okay, so first I want to acknowledge.
31:24
That you are human.
31:25
And no matter how many times we may say it's just business, it's not personal.
31:31
It feels personal.
31:33
Yes.
31:33
Right?
31:33
Yes.
31:34
Like it just is what it is.
31:35
Yes.
31:35
And we just have to figure out how to work through that.
31:38
Yes.
31:39
How to acknowledge our feelings.
31:41
One of the resources I created, I'll be sure to have one with me on Friday,
31:45
for show and tell is the courage diary.
31:48
And it is a resource that allows you to not only track your sales conversations,
31:52
but one of the questions that I put in there during your post call debrief
31:56
is what emotions came up for you?
31:58
Those are important.
31:59
We are emotional people.
32:00
Let's just acknowledge it and embrace it.
32:02
That is part of our superpower.
32:03
Yes, yes.
32:04
But also be our kryptonite if we're not careful.
32:07
So I just first wanted to start there because I get it.
32:10
And as much as I do sales, I still have my days when I'm like, oh, that sucked.
32:14
Like that was just really hard and it hurt and it, you know, I'm like, okay, Nadia.
32:18
Mm-hmm.
32:18
What's going on?
32:19
But also, how do I take care of myself?
32:22
So that I don't allow myself to stay in that place.
32:25
Mm-hmm.
32:25
But I also don't beat myself up for going to that place because
32:28
I'm human just like everyone else.
32:30
And there are some days where it just rolls off my back and I'm like, next.
32:33
And there are other days when I'm like, oh, everything just felt personal today.
32:36
I don't know what's going on, but it feels personal.
32:39
So I wanted to start there because we're all human.
32:42
And there's nothing wrong with having feelings or emotions about doing sales.
32:46
And part of sales that makes it so hard is you will get rejected.
32:50
People will say no.
32:51
No matter how great you think they are, no matter how much you know you can
32:55
help them, no matter how cheap it is.
32:57
You're like, oh my God, like I can't go even lower like it is none of that.
33:00
Somebody is going to say no.
33:02
And it's gonna hurt.
33:03
Like that's just part of the process.
33:04
So I wanted to start there.
33:06
The other thing, stance really quick though, is I don't know your business.
33:10
I'm gonna just throw out a bunch of things and grab what
33:13
may work and discard the rest.
33:15
So one is before people get on a call with you, if you don't already, look at
33:20
implementing some sort of form that allows you to gather information, but it also
33:25
allows you to do some level settings.
33:29
So there's some strategic ways that you can do that in terms of just, people don't
33:33
just get to go straight to your calendar.
33:35
They have to take an extra step, and doesn't have to be complicated,
33:39
but it is a way to help get rid of some of your tire kickers.
33:43
Yes.
33:43
Yes.
33:44
Because I'm just here an excellent idea.
33:46
Yes.
33:46
So I've noticed that I have had to do that.
33:50
Mm-hmm.
33:51
It's like, wait a minute, you know, do you have a budget for this?
33:55
Mm-hmm.
33:55
You know, how, where are you in the pro?
33:57
Oh, that's an excellent, and I don't know why.
33:59
I do it.
34:00
I do it as a consumer, but I didn't think to do it as a business owner.
34:06
Yes.
34:07
So that's one.
34:08
And then two, either, probably both places in the form and in
34:13
the questions that you're asking.
34:16
Some of the questions you ask are vetting questions.
34:19
Is this someone I even wanna work with?
34:21
Mm-hmm.
34:22
So it is not just focused on the solution, that's part of it.
34:25
But another part is I'm interviewing this person, like, are you going to
34:28
give me and or my team a hard time?
34:30
And you're gonna be that client and none of us wanna be bothered with?
34:34
So part of it is they're vetting you.
34:36
That's an interview.
34:36
But it goes both ways.
34:37
It's kinda like a first date.
34:39
Do I like you because I don't know.
34:41
If I don't like you, then I get to turn you down.
34:42
Another thing is during that conversation, when you start, and Turiya can attest
34:47
to this, before we even start the conversation, you set the tone.
34:51
Mm-hmm.
34:51
So the reason that we're gathered here today is because we're
34:55
having a conversation about us working together, right?
34:58
Like that's the essence of that.
35:00
So we're not, I'm not here to do free coaching.
35:02
I'm not here to do consulting.
35:03
I'm not, whatever it is you thought we might be here to do, that's not it.
35:06
Okay.
35:06
This is why we're here.
35:08
And level setting so that people understand that this is the purpose
35:11
of this conversation and the goal is by the end of this conversation
35:15
to see if we are a match.
35:16
Mm-hmm.
35:17
So those are just a couple things.
35:18
One thing I will add, because you talked about our buying styles
35:21
are very similar, so I get it.
35:23
However, not everyone buys the same.
35:26
Mm-hmm.
35:26
So there are different buying styles.
35:28
Like my husband is very different.
35:30
He's gonna do all the research and go to the website, talk to you,
35:32
and still need to sleep on it.
35:34
It's a legitimate part of his process, but once that brother buys, he is
35:38
like one of your most loyal customers.
35:39
So it's just one of those things.
35:41
So how do you adjust your process to accommodate the different buying styles?
35:48
Mm-hmm.
35:49
Because not everyone is there kicking tires, but there are things you can
35:53
do to kind of weed those folks out.
35:55
Thank you.
35:56
Those are really good suggestions and I'm going to implement them.
35:59
'Cause I think that will really help my mindset as I go into conversations and it
36:07
will help the outcome as well, I believe.
36:09
Mm-hmm.
36:09
So thank you.
36:10
I appreciate that.
36:11
You're welcome.
36:13
Oh, ooh.
36:13
And I wanna chime in.
36:15
Hey, girl!
36:16
I'll say you can too because after all you're the social selling mastery.
36:24
Mastery is the word, but still because.
36:27
You know, so Yeah.
36:28
Yeah.
36:29
Go on about that, please.
36:30
You know, once again Constance, I'm gonna applaud you for your transparency.
36:36
So not everyone would be willing to share the emotions that come up and
36:43
be honest about what it is that they feel when we are in these positions.
36:49
When we are doing these calls, we're asking people like this is my word, asking
36:54
people to journey, you know, with us, as you could tell, like nothing about
36:57
me is a hard, pushy salesperson, right?
37:01
But one of the things that you said that I found what's so interesting is that
37:07
you said, I've already done my research and to Dr. Nadia's point, I wrote that
37:13
down, like not everyone does that type of research or you never know, they're still
37:23
doing their research and part of their research is being on that call with you.
37:30
And so I don't know what space you're in, but I work a lot
37:34
with coaches and consultants.
37:36
That's my niche.
37:37
And one of the things that stood out for me is, oh my gosh, how do
37:41
we tell where people are in the buyer's journey, in their journey.
37:45
So a lot of times we know what, you know, our journey looks like.
37:49
We know what we want them to do, we know where we're leading them
37:54
to and all of that good stuff.
37:56
But the question is, how well are we able to assess like
37:59
where they are in their journey?
38:02
And so one of the stats that I found was very interesting, and I heard this
38:07
a couple months ago, is that it takes for someone to consume seven hours of
38:16
content, 11 touch points across four platforms, before you're able to convert
38:26
that person who's just a prospect, that person who's interested into
38:31
a paying client or paying customer.
38:35
Okay.
38:36
And when I heard that stat that changed the way, how.
38:41
I look at things because people are doing their research.
38:46
Mm-hmm.
38:46
And so the question becomes how well are we able to put in front of them
38:54
the things that they need to allow them to make that buying decision?
39:00
And so when I take a look at social media, this is why I talk about social selling,
39:06
like it's a whole entire process and we get a chance to use social media as the
39:13
wonderful tool that it is to do all of this research, you know, to do all of the
39:19
listening, to provide the touch points, to take people along, you know, the journey.
39:24
So ultimately, by time we're in the conversation because I get it Constance,
39:29
like that's your time right there and you want to make sure that you give you and
39:35
that person the best opportunity to move forward when you're in that conversation.
39:41
So it's all about what are the other things that they get a
39:45
chance to experience before they get on that call with you.
39:50
So when you're on that call, it doesn't turn out to be an investigative call
39:57
where they're trying to vet you because that's what people are doing, right?
40:01
Mm-hmm.
40:02
Just like how we're vetting them.
40:04
Mm-hmm.
40:04
They're vetting us.
40:05
They're like, well, how do I know?
40:07
Like they say that they're gonna do what it is they say that
40:11
they're going to do or they can do.
40:13
Mm-hmm.
40:13
So it's how do we create that environment beforehand, so when
40:18
we get on a call, we have the best possible outcomes for everyone.
40:22
So I love that.
40:23
I just wanted to commend you on your honesty and your transparency
40:27
for bringing to the cost.
40:29
So good.
40:29
Well, thank you for breaking down that, you know, for both of
40:32
you alerting me to the fact that everybody doesn't buy the way I buy.
40:37
And I appreciate that because I'm thinking you are me, you know that client is me.
40:45
So I appreciate that.
40:46
Yeah, I've gotten away from the sting of rejection, but I think that I've
40:53
gone too far in the other direction.
40:55
You know, I kind of like come to the call like, Connie, you realize that they may
40:59
not buy your services and that's okay.
41:02
Especially when we get to the money.
41:04
Like, I'm really sensitive about that because what I've found is that the people
41:12
who hire me don't even hear my price.
41:16
Right?
41:17
They don't hear that.
41:18
What they hear is, you can help me, and whatever that cost is, I'm buying it.
41:24
It's like those shoes at Nordstrom's, you know, I can't afford those
41:29
shoes, but I'm buying them.
41:30
Right?
41:31
I want you guys to speak on this.
41:33
When it comes to like asking for your worth, like, I'm firm on that now,
41:38
but that's a sensitive, you know, that's a tough hurdle to jump over.
41:44
Yeah.
41:45
Yes.
41:46
So first I wanna add a refront.
41:47
Well, really quickly before I dive into that stance, I just
41:50
wanted to add to Turiya's data.
41:52
And I just got this today so it's fresh.
41:54
Remember that only 3% of your target market is actually ready to buy now.
41:59
Ready?
42:00
Wow, wow.
42:00
That only 3 percent.
42:01
3 percent.
42:02
That's a whole nother 97.
42:04
Yes.
42:04
That are at different stages.
42:05
The only 3%,
42:09
Oh my gosh.
42:10
Are ready to buy right this second.
42:12
So that really starts to reframe.
42:14
And again, going to Turiya, that's why you're, the content you put out the
42:18
marketing and all of that helps those others work through their process.
42:22
3% are ready to buy right this second.
42:24
Wow.
42:25
3%.
42:26
Yeah.
42:26
That's it.
42:28
Yeah.
42:28
Isn't that scary?
42:30
Isn't that...
42:31
Yes.
42:32
Yes.
42:33
I don't wanna say worrisome.
42:34
It helps to reframe even, you know?
42:36
And I get it.
42:37
You have those conversations, you want people to be ready.
42:39
That's why the work that three does is so important because all of that really
42:43
is part of the selling the sales process.
42:46
It's not just that conversation.
42:47
So all the things that you're doing prior to that help impact
42:51
the results or the outcome.
42:53
Right.
42:53
Of that.
42:54
So, yeah.
42:54
Wow.
42:55
But to your money question, one of the things that I want to say is we
42:59
talk a lot about charging what we're worth and that whole money thing,
43:03
but I want us to remember and write this down if you must, that we can
43:09
never charge what we are worth.
43:11
We are priceless.
43:14
We can never charge enough.
43:15
I love that stage again.
43:17
We can never charge enough.
43:19
We can't do that.
43:20
So we have to learn to separate our self-worth from the work that we do.
43:25
Yeah.
43:26
Now I know that that is easier said than done, so that's why I want you to write
43:29
it down and repeat it as many times as you need to till it hits your soul.
43:33
Getting it done.
43:33
I can never charge what I am worth because I am priceless.
43:39
Yes.
43:40
So then that leaves, how do I communicate the value of the work
43:44
that I do and the impact that it has on my clients so that they understand
43:51
that value and then the investment to work with me is a no brainer, right?
43:55
Those are two different conversations.
43:57
My word, you can never charge enough for me.
44:00
Right.
44:00
But I do bring this value to the table and the work that I do has this impact.
44:06
So think about how your client's different.
44:09
How does that ripple effect happen?
44:12
Because a lot of times we not only take what we learn, but then we share that
44:15
with others, whether it's our children, our families, like, I don't know the work
44:18
that you do, but I know that there is some sort of ripple effect that happens even
44:23
from you working with a single client.
44:26
Mm-hmm.
44:26
So start looking at how are people different?
44:29
What are all the different ways that they are different?
44:33
And start to tie that back and to the value that your products
44:38
and services provide to them.
44:40
Mm-hmm.
44:41
But that is separate from constants.
44:44
Mm-hmm.
44:45
That's excellent.
44:46
Thank you so much.
44:47
You're welcome.
44:48
Is indeed excellent.
44:49
Mm-hmm.
44:50
And going back to our keyword, we are gonna have to pause probably till Friday,
44:56
but before we pause to continue on Friday, May 30th and Saturday May 31st.
45:03
I wanna still give the audience, we have had some great interaction with
45:07
Constance, but I'm just wondering if there's anyone else in the
45:11
audience who may have a question.
45:12
Before we do that longer, pause till Friday.
45:17
Yes.
45:17
No?
45:17
I love it.
45:18
All right, so Constance, thank you so much for all those questions you asked.
45:23
They are indeed priceless.
45:25
I love what we heard from Dr. Nadia.
45:27
We can never charge enough as business owners for what we are
45:32
worth because we are priceless.
45:33
But there's a difference between the value bring and our worth.
45:39
We need to understand that.
45:41
And you know, I as a podcast coach, tell that to my clients all the time
45:47
who are like, how can I start a podcast?
45:49
What will I speak about?
45:51
And I always say to them, you know, think about your value.
45:55
Think about what you are bringing to the table.
45:57
Think about the conversation that you can have.
45:59
Like this in itself is a podcast, but we've spoken about things
46:02
that are valuable to each one of us here and the audience.
46:06
And so as a podcast coach, one of the things I tell my clients is to
46:11
embrace authenticity and imperfection because people wanna hear that.
46:16
They don't want you to be too scripted.
46:18
They don't want you to sound like you have the answer to everything, because
46:21
then why will they listen to you?
46:23
They listen to you to feel that, oh, they're someone who understands
46:27
me, but I can learn something from they listen to you because.
46:31
You're bringing them a service that probably they've been looking for
46:34
and they haven't been able to find.
46:35
They listen to you because they can relate to you, they can identify with you.
46:40
And so as a podcast coach, my session on now is gonna be Saturday
46:46
because we had to have make a change.
46:48
It's the Power of Storytelling: Communicating your Value with Impact.
46:54
Impact is important, but your values even more so because people
46:59
always do business with those.
47:00
And Turiya always finishes this off for me 'cause I always get it
47:03
wrong to those who they like and who they feel comfortable with.
47:09
There's a business phrase.
47:11
Turiya, you always remind me.
47:12
They know, like and trust.
47:13
That's it.
47:14
I knew you would do it for me.
47:15
They do business with people who they know, like, and trust.
47:21
That's a big part.
47:23
A very big part.
47:24
So before we close off today, again, I want to thank all of those who joined.
47:29
And also the reason that we came on today is to encourage people, those
47:34
listening, 'cause we are gonna put this out to join us on Friday and Saturday.
47:39
That's May 30th and 31st from 9:00 AM until 2:00 PM Eastern
47:44
Standard Time for the Empowered to Excel Virtual Summit, which is a
47:49
two day virtual event for women.
47:52
Men can join us too.
47:53
Don't feel that we are excluding you, but we only say women because
47:57
there's more of us women here, right?
48:00
So it's for women entrepreneurs, for professionals and leaders
48:03
who are focused on actionable strategies in business, leadership,
48:08
finance, marketing, and wellness.
48:10
And Dr. Nadia Brown joined us today so you could get a taste of what
48:15
to expect on Friday and Saturday.
48:20
We have so many speakers.
48:22
I mean the three of us here because each one of us here is gonna be speaking,
48:25
but they're 11 more who will be speaking on either Friday or Saturday.
48:31
So please join us to have as invigorating, exciting, and empowering
48:38
conversations like you had today.
48:40
We are going to drop the link in the chat for those of you who are here with us.
48:47
Oh, it's already there.
48:49
Gotcha.
48:49
Oh, you've already dropped it in?
48:50
Yep.
48:51
Alright.
48:52
And also, have you dropped in for those who count attend, who are listening
48:56
or who are in the audience and who are saying, oh my gosh, this is gonna
48:59
be so valuable, but I can't be there.
49:01
We also have a VIP package.
49:04
Turiya, have you dropped that in the chat?
49:05
I'm gonna do it right now.
49:06
I got it.
49:07
This gives you lifetime access to all the recordings, the workbooks,
49:12
and access to the speakers.
49:17
And she's about to drop that in the chat.
49:22
Oops.
49:22
It's two o'clock already.
49:23
So for those of you, again, I'm pausing.
49:26
In the audience, is there a parting word?
49:28
Is there a question that you've been burning to ask but you just haven't had
49:32
a chance or haven't felt the courage?
49:35
'Cause I know coming from a background where I was petrified of public
49:40
speaking and sometimes I still get nervous, giving you an opportunity to
49:43
ask the question related to the summit and if not related to the summit,
49:48
related to life that we can address.
49:50
Of course.
49:51
Don't ask any medical questions, please.
49:56
Anybody?
49:57
Okay, I see the three.
50:00
Okay.
50:00
These are what you have put in here.
50:03
Okay.
50:04
Ade, you say Thank you for so much the knowledge.
50:07
This knowledge is relevant in all aspects of our lives and business.
50:11
These techniques are very helpful.
50:15
Thank you.
50:15
You said you've definitely learned a lot from this session and I'm
50:18
looking forward to the summit lesson.
50:20
Thank you, Ade.
50:21
We are looking forward to you joining us, and please invite as many people
50:25
as possible because you know, as I said, , I learn something new every
50:28
day and I'm sure everyone else does.
50:30
I'm not that different am I?
50:34
So thank you.
50:36
Dr. Nadia, thank you so much.
50:40
Thanks for having me.
50:41
So happy you, I'm so excited about Friday.
50:44
Your talk on Friday.
50:45
Thank you.
50:45
And Turiya, the social seller mastery person expert.
50:56
Thank you.
50:56
Thank you.
50:57
Thank you for being my co-host on this summit.
50:59
I couldn't have done it.
51:00
Awesome.
51:00
You're welcome.
51:01
Thank you.
51:03
So if there are no more questions.
51:05
Should we say bye?
51:07
For now, it's just a pause.
51:09
Yes.
51:09
It's just a pause.
51:10
A pause.
51:11
Friday.
51:11
And Friday.
51:12
Yes.
51:13
Yes.
51:14
Till we meet again.
51:16
Till we meet again.
51:18
Thank you.
51:18
Thank you ladies.
51:19
Thank you.
51:19
Thank you.
51:20
You're welcome.
51:21
Thank you Constance.
51:21
We'll see you Friday and Saturday.
51:23
Yes.
51:24
Take care.
51:25
Alright.
51:25
Take care.
51:25
Bye-bye.
51:25
Have I forgot anything Turiya?
51:27
Anything else you wanted to add?
51:29
Oh, no, just like you said, make sure to register, grab your
51:33
VIP all access pass because I'm pretty sure I could stake on it.
51:37
We have some amazing women.
51:38
They're all givers, so the resources and everything will be boundless.
51:44
So these are things that you could not just take away for the two days, but
51:49
you could implement as time goes on.
51:52
I'm pretty sure that we'll all be able to call on the resources that will be
51:56
shared over the two days of the summit.
51:59
So make sure you register, make sure you tell your friends, your
52:02
colleagues, your business besties.
52:04
Get them on here because it's gonna be life-altering.
52:08
It'll be.
52:09
Thank you again, everyone.
52:11
And bye for now till Friday.
52:15
Till Friday.
52:16
See you Friday.
52:17
Bye-bye.