Latest / The Demia Avery Show / Too OLD for the Entertainment Industry? Let’s Talk.

Transcript

Too OLD for the Entertainment Industry? Let’s Talk. · The Demia Avery Show

• 0:00
  Hello everybody. This is Deia Avery of
• 0:02
  the Demia Avery Show. Thank you so much
• 0:04
  for joining in on today's podcast. Now
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  listen, if you are older, if you are 35
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  years old or older and you have dreams
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  to be in the entertainment industry or
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  you're already in the entertainment
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  industry and you're finding, you know,
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  finding it a little harder because
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  you're of an older age, make sure you
• 0:25
  stick around to this podcast because the
• 0:27
  industry will make you feel like you
• 0:31
  have missed your moment or it would make
• 0:33
  you feel like there's some type of
• 0:35
  imaginary deadline on your dreams. And
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  we all know that that is a big fat lie.
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  So, make sure you stick around. And
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  also, I wanted to make sure that you
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  understand that being older has some
• 0:47
  benefits. Some of the best stories are
• 0:49
  being told when you're older, the best
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  moments, um, you have more emotional
• 0:55
  experience to capture anything in your
• 0:57
  artistry. So, again, make sure you stick
• 1:00
  around and join me. Let's have some
• 1:02
  grown folks talk today. All right.
• 1:04
  [music]
• 1:06
  action. Let's shine tonight. Big dreams,
• 1:09
  big names, and [music]
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  the V's right. We'll talk passion,
• 1:15
  purpose, power, and goals.
• 1:18
  [music]
• 1:19
  Stories you ain't never been told.
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  [music]
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  It's a
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  show.
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  >> [music]
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  >> All right, guys. Thank you so much for
• 1:39
  sticking around. We got a lot to cover
• 1:41
  today. Um, if you haven't checked out my
• 1:43
  interview with Coffee Brown, remember
• 1:46
  the R&B group after the party. Make sure
• 1:50
  you go back and you check that out. Like
• 1:52
  and share, do all of that stuff. So, I
• 1:55
  wanted to do something different a
• 1:57
  little today. We're going to have some
• 1:58
  more interviews either later on in the
• 2:00
  week or next week. But today, I want to
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  talk about something that's near and
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  dear to my heart. Now, many of you know
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  that I am not 20 years old. I am not 30
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  years old. I am not 40 years old. I'm in
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  my 50s going into my 60s. And I am still
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  climbing. I'm still motivated to to, you
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  know, capture my dreams and go after my
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  dreams. And I want to make sure that you
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  know that you can do the same thing.
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  Yes, it gets hard. Yes, it's it's a
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  little different now. Responsibilities
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  are different, but it's not impossible.
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  So, I just want to share some things
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  that I hope that would help you continue
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  on with your dreams, especially maybe
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  you just started. Maybe you're just
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  wanting to start your music career or
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  your acting career or whatever career.
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  Cuz this could also be for It doesn't
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  have to necessarily be for people in the
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  entertainment industry. This could be
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  for someone just wanting to start a new
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  career in general and maybe some of
• 2:58
  these um tips or you know can help you.
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  So I'm going to have to read these
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  things because because if I don't we'll
• 3:07
  be talking to next Tuesday. So pardon me
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  for looking down. So the first thing
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  that I want to make sure that you
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  understand that you are not late. You're
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  not too late. You're just seasoned right
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  now. You know, you've lived and you've
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  loved and you've healed, you've had
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  heartbreak, just you have so much
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  experience. So
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  all of that
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  [music]
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  life experience shows up in your
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  artistry. So things that you knew when
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  you were 20 are not the same things that
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  you know now. So you can come from a
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  different place when you're acting or
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  when you um when you're songwriting or
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  even when you're performing, if you if
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  you live those moments, oh baby, you're
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  going to be fantastic, you know, and
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  stop thinking about age all the time.
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  Stop. And I know it is hard because I
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  remember there were times when
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  in my 30s [music] I was still wanting to
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  be in the entertainment industry and I
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  had been trying for a very long time.
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  And
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  I had people say, you know, even though
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  I looked good, let me tell you, I still
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  looked good. But I had people say, uh,
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  h, you know, you're getting up there in
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  age. Maybe you should think about this.
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  or
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  um oh you're fantastic your voice cuz I
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  should sing your voice is amazing but
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  you know you're just a little you're
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  you're old now [laughter]
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  you're old now but you know what we have
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  so many choices now and we're going to
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  get into that [music] but okay just
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  remember that all of that all of those
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  things they show up in your artistry
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  [music] and um
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  remember if you're singing audiences can
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  feel real life in a song. They can hear
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  when something is honest. So, yeah, it's
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  cool to get up there and and and sing
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  something that you don't know nothing
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  about or or just singing something
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  that's of this generation, but it it's
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  hard to do that and hard to relate to
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  people. I I sometimes I have I don't
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  know. Tell me how you guys feel about
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  this. I might see an artist that I've
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  loved forever and I love their music and
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  I know sometimes they have to
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  conform like they have to sing something
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  that's kind of up to date and I get it
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  just a little bit but fans you have
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  forever and now you have the we we have
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  uh social media now we have the internet
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  now things that we didn't have back in
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  the day that you don't have to rely on a
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  record label or or things like that to
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  be success successful even more so
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  um to be successful because there are
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  other ways to do it. It's just the way
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  you you think about it. And um just
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  remember your talent doesn't expire.
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  [music]
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  You didn't miss your time. You just
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  survive your training. Cuz sometimes we
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  just been getting prepared. There are
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  people that have been performing for
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  years and they don't get their role
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  until later on in life, you know. So,
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  and then there are people back in the
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  day how they used to do. People used to
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  lie about their age. Like they've been
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  out there literally grinding for years
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  and years and you never knew anything
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  about them and then all of a sudden they
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  come out and they used to lie about her
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  age. if they were really 30 something
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  then it you know they were they would
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  say that they were 20some so that people
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  would buy their
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  uh [music] their uh product but now we
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  don't necessarily have to do that. We
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  can create our own audiences now because
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  we don't necessarily have to use record
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  labels anymore and the same way in a way
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  that you can do for acting. But let's
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  just let's just get into this. Okay.
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  [clears throat]
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  So the first thing is that
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  one of the things you want to remember
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  is that now you understand the business
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  now. You didn't you were green at first
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  and you see how the industry is now. So
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  now when you were younger, you just
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  wanted somebody to sign you. [music]
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  You know, you didn't care. You you
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  didn't read the paperwork. You don't ask
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  questions. You just signed on a dotted
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  line. But at this age, honestly, would
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  you do that?
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  Probably not. Probably not. You you
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  you'll it's all about you be looking at
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  those contracts and it's all about
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  ownership and publishing and branding.
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  You have a different outlook on things
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  because you have a different way of of
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  of thinking. You have responsibilities
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  now. So a lot of times you don't make
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  those same mistakes and you don't
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  >> [music]
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  >> um buckle under pressure just because
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  you want to be a star. You think about
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  things a little different. So remember
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  that that actually now is probably a
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  good time for you to go after those
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  dreams. So don't think of it negative
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  negatively as if you missed something
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  because now hey but at 42 here it is at
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  22 you want a deal. At 42, you want
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  control. Get it? So, age bias is real,
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  but money is grown. Money is grown. So,
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  this is another thing. Let's be honest.
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  Age bias is real. People will [music]
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  put you in a category because you're
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  older. But labels chase youth. That's
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  the business. But fans chase connection.
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  So you can be older and if you have
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  those loyal fans, you have these rock
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  bands [music]
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  that have these loyal fans and they're
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  making money and [music] they're making
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  making hand over fist of, you know,
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  money because they have that connection
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  with their fans. So just remember that.
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  And grown people spend money. I know
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  people say, "Yeah, they don't buy the
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  records, but it's a different age and
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  time." And then just if you think about
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  it differently,
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  um the grown people are the ones that's
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  giving the kids the money most of the
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  time. Most of the time. Um but we also
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  spend things of value. So if we are
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  loyal to you, we are going to spend our
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  money helping promote you. That's just
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  how that goes. So don't confuse what the
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  industry markets with what actually
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  sells. Get it? Okay. So the next thing
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  is
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  your why. Your why by now, you know,
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  when you were in your early ages, your
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  why is probably different than it is
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  now. So once you remember your why, why
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  is deeper now. At this stage, you're not
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  just chasing fame.
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  You're chasing legacy,
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  healing, [music] proving something to
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  yourself. If you have children, your
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  kids are watching, you're showing them
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  what it looks like to not quit on
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  yourself. So, your why is a a lot
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  different. So, if you think of it that
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  way, this is the best time. This is the
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  best time. You didn't miss nothing.
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  Okay. So, the next thing is fear versus
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  confidence. Now, [music] yes, the fear
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  is different now. Um,
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  you fear starting over, you fear wasting
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  time, but you also have thicker skin
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  now. So, you you don't fear too much cuz
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  you've already been through a lot.
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  [laughter]
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  You've already been through a lot.
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  You're less desperate than you were
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  because you know, you know, okay, if I
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  don't like what this person is saying to
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  me, I can go over to this person. You
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  don't you don't have the same type of
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  urgency anymore. And that confidence
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  will show up in your artistry. You're
• 11:07
  like, "Okay, I know I got this and I
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  know I have options and I know I can do
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  this." You know, I mean, of course, you
• 11:15
  have things to help you, but you don't
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  have it's it's just not the same. It's
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  just not the same. So, your confidence
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  is everything. Now, social media, this
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  is the next thing. Social media changed
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  everything. Here's the beautiful part.
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  You don't need permission anymore.
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  You don't need anybody's permission
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  anymore.
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  There are no real gatekeepers anymore.
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  Like I was saying, if we relate this to
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  music, yeah, we have record labels that
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  control every single thing that you do
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  to say it and whatever. Now, you don't
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  have that. You can do and say what you
• 11:50
  want. You can perform what you want. You
• 11:54
  don't have to to to be like so and so.
• 11:57
  You don't have to look like her. You
• 11:59
  don't have to look like him. You don't
• 12:01
  have to be of something that you're not.
• 12:04
  You don't have to talk about things that
• 12:05
  you don't want to talk about because now
• 12:08
  social media has made it so that you can
• 12:10
  do and be what whoever you want to be.
• 12:13
  So remember that this it is advantages
• 12:17
  of this day and age that you didn't have
• 12:19
  back then. So understand that you can
• 12:22
  build your own audience. You don't
• 12:24
  necessarily you can still make a lot of
• 12:25
  money. You can make money through social
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  media like YouTube, Tik Tok, Instagram,
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  whatever else is out there and you can
• 12:35
  go live. You can have tours, all of
• 12:38
  that. You don't need permission anymore.
• 12:42
  I I certainly wish social media [music]
• 12:44
  was around when I was really focused
• 12:48
  [music] on my career in my early 20s.
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  Um, you can own your own land. So, you
• 12:55
  don't need to be chosen anymore. You're
• 12:58
  the choice. So, just remember that. All
• 13:02
  right. Redefine making it. Let's talk
• 13:05
  about success because making it doesn't
• 13:08
  only mean Grammys and Billboards. And
• 13:10
  that
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  that was one of the things that used to
• 13:14
  hold me up because I'm like, I got to,
• 13:16
  you know, I got to get this Grammy. That
• 13:18
  was the that was the the biggest thing,
• 13:20
  the biggest award. But now you don't you
• 13:22
  don't necessarily need that because
• 13:27
  it might mean now [music]
• 13:30
  making it might mean now consistent
• 13:33
  income from your music or artistry,
• 13:36
  regional touring, placement, teaching,
• 13:38
  owning your own masters. You don't
• 13:42
  think of making it differently now. I
• 13:46
  used to think, you know, because I
• 13:48
  wasn't out there on all these stages.
• 13:50
  Who says I got to be on the biggest
• 13:52
  stage in the world to make a living to
• 13:55
  have my fans to to do all the things
• 13:58
  that I dream dreamed of? I just You
• 14:00
  don't have to do that anymore. Making it
• 14:02
  can be whatever it is that you want to
• 14:05
  be and feel good about it and be at
• 14:07
  peace with it. [music]
• 14:08
  And that's another thing is peace,
• 14:11
  freedom. That's success, too. If you're
• 14:14
  doing something that you absolutely love
• 14:17
  and you get happiness and peace from it,
• 14:19
  that is actually success.
• 14:22
  And again, that's that's a learning
• 14:23
  lesson for me cuz I I was all about the
• 14:26
  award or the rich, you know, I had to be
• 14:31
  out there with the rich and famous. And
• 14:33
  it's not necessarily that. Create your
• 14:36
  own thing, man.
• 14:38
  All right. [music]
• 14:39
  So the other thing is now your network
• 14:42
  is stronger than it was back then. I
• 14:45
  mean, you were so busy trying to get a
• 14:47
  hold of so and so the the of of
• 14:51
  I don't know of Mottown of you know
• 14:55
  Arista or you're trying so hard to get
• 14:58
  into this and to that and and this but
• 15:01
  now by now you have
• 15:04
  [snorts] combined not combined you've
• 15:06
  already built some sort of connections
• 15:10
  of your your own you just have to
• 15:12
  utilize them. So everybody knows
• 15:14
  somebody else. Just remember that. And
• 15:16
  now for sure you know a lot more people
• 15:19
  than you did back then. So
• 15:22
  um you have old contacts, real
• 15:25
  connections. You have a business mindset
• 15:28
  which is important. People who trust you
• 15:31
  trust you. That matters. It really does.
• 15:34
  [laughter] So the next thing is protect
• 15:37
  your energy. Protect your energy. You
• 15:40
  know, when um younger when you have
• 15:44
  people around you that [clears throat]
• 15:47
  may have not always been happy for you
• 15:50
  or you have people around you that suck
• 15:54
  suck your energy for whatever the reason
• 15:56
  is. Just please hear me on this part.
• 15:59
  Now, you can um
• 16:03
  you can't have like no dream killers
• 16:05
  around you. [music] You're smart enough
• 16:07
  to recognize a person that's bringing
• 16:09
  you down. You're smart enough to
• 16:11
  recognize anything that's bringing you
• 16:13
  down and away from from what you're
• 16:16
  focused on. Your so your circle actually
• 16:20
  your real circle, I'm not talking about
• 16:22
  your fans or your Facebook friends, but
• 16:25
  your real circle should be small and
• 16:27
  solid because those are the people that
• 16:30
  you're going to depend on and it's okay.
• 16:33
  Okay. So, [music] the world needs grown
• 16:38
  voices. Yeah, it's great to to to dance
• 16:42
  and and all of that, too. But there are
• 16:44
  people out there that want to hear what
• 16:48
  a person that has life experience has to
• 16:51
  say. Just remember, life after 35, 40,
• 16:57
  you you could be in a happy marriage or
• 16:59
  whatever. And that's something to to to,
• 17:02
  you know, to talk about. But there's
• 17:04
  also divorce. There's also grief.
• 17:06
  There's also starting over. There's also
• 17:08
  healing. [music] Young artists can't
• 17:10
  tell a lot of those stories cuz they're
• 17:13
  still just learning. You can. And your
• 17:15
  artistry artistry re, you know, connects
• 17:20
  with someone else. So you have people
• 17:22
  out there that want to feel connected to
• 17:25
  you. So that's why those old slow jams
• 17:28
  and stuff like that that you listen to,
• 17:30
  they still hidden cuz they connect with
• 17:33
  what you have been through or what
• 17:35
  you're going through. So
• 17:38
  you know, hey, use it. Use it. So if
• 17:41
  you're over 35 and you're still chasing,
• 17:44
  hear me when I say this. You're not
• 17:46
  delusional.
• 17:48
  You're disciplined. The dream didn't
• 17:50
  die. It matured.
• 17:54
  So, that's pretty much what I wanted to
• 17:57
  say to you guys. Dreams do not die. We
• 18:01
  sometimes just put them aside or or or
• 18:04
  push them down or things like that. If
• 18:07
  you want to go after that dream, if or
• 18:09
  if you just want to feel that that dream
• 18:13
  and stuff, you still can have it.
• 18:15
  There's no reason you can't have it. You
• 18:17
  just might need to shake you shape your
• 18:20
  your thoughts a little bit. Cool. All
• 18:22
  right. So, if this spoke to you, make
• 18:25
  sure you subscribe to the Demia Avery
• 18:27
  Show. We're going to have more moments
• 18:29
  like this. Um, but soon we're also going
• 18:32
  to have um Jar Avery of the Avery
• 18:34
  Agency, which is my partner along with
• 18:37
  my sister. Uh, along with my sister and
• 18:40
  she is my sister. Um, we're out of
• 18:44
  Atlanta, Georgia. And she has a lot to
• 18:47
  say if you're trying to become an
• 18:49
  actress or an actor. Um, [music] that is
• 18:53
  a show coming up for you. We're also
• 18:55
  going to have Blake Cameron James, which
• 18:59
  is the young man that plays I think it's
• 19:01
  Will Will Will Hansen Hansen from uh
• 19:05
  Welcome to Dair. Well, it Welcome to
• 19:07
  Dair. He's going to be coming on the
• 19:09
  show. He him and his mother and his
• 19:13
  father, they're going to be on the show,
• 19:14
  too. So, if you want your kids, if you
• 19:18
  have children that want to get into the
• 19:19
  entertainment industry or they'll just
• 19:23
  give you a lot of tips, things that they
• 19:24
  have been through, um, we'll talk to
• 19:27
  Blake, which is an amazing young man, so
• 19:30
  so talented, but got a great head on his
• 19:33
  shoulders. Make sure you st uh tune in.
• 19:36
  So, make sure you subscribe so you get
• 19:38
  that notification bell that's actually
• 19:40
  coming up. It should be coming up next
• 19:42
  week unless something happens. I don't
• 19:44
  think it will, but it should be coming
• 19:45
  up next week. Make you make sure you
• 19:48
  subscribe. Share this for anyone that
• 19:50
  needs it. And I love you. Love you. Love
• 19:52
  you. And I talk to you later. Bye-bye.