Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Why You Should Give it Two Dates, Red Flags + All Things Love, Dating & Relationships with Nick Viall & Natalie Joy

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Why You Should Give it Two Dates, Red Flags + All Things Love, Dating & Relationships with Nick Viall & Natalie Joy · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: pretty This is pretty smart. Today is a very very
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: special episode and day I am launching a product that
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I've been working on for two years. It's called Question Everything,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: fifty two cards for deeper conversation. You all know I'm
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: obsessed with questions. I've studied the art of conversation for
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: a decade. I can tell what lights people up, what
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: makes them uncomfortable. So I put together eight hundred of
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the questions that I've asked authors, celebrities, entrepreneurs, politicians and
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: got them down to my very favorite fifty two questions.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: These are questions that have provoked the most insightful and
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: me meaningful conversation, and not just my career, but also
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: my relationships. Questions are an accelerator. There are way in trust, intimacy, connection,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: all things. Relationships are built on curiosity. These fifty two
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: questions will help build any relationship. So today you have
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: the exclusive link to purchase the card deck in the
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: notes below. I wanted to launch them first on the
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: podcast and give you first DIBs because you all are
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: my people. I also wanted to incorporate them in the
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: episode because we're coming up on Valentine's Day and love
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: and relationships are on the mind. I thought it was
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: only fitting that we speak with a man who really knows.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: About love and relationships.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Nick Viile has been a contestant on not one, not two,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: but three Bachelor franchise shows, and he's appeared on two
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: different seasons of the Bachelorette. But he actually became known
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: for his relationship advice and now he hosts a really
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: popular podcast, Vile Files, where he helps listeners navigate the
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: complicated world of dating and love and relationships. And after
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: years of searching, Nick found his person. Nick and his
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: girlfriend Natalie are here today to talk about dating situationships,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: grand romantic gestures, red flags. I think they also schooled
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: me a little bit to be honest. And then Nick
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: and Natalie are going to play some of the cards
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: in question everything. So, Nick, you've fallen in love on
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: TV more than anybody else I've seen. How come you
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: don't get credit for that?
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I don't know. That's a great question. Have I though
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: more than anyone?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: More? Than I've seen. I just feel like you should
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: get credit for it, you know.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Thanks.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Well, I kind of love that you went on all
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: these shows and then the person that you've fallen in
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: love with is completely off camera. Natalie'rs surgical technique, which
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: is so awesome. And I heard that you slid into
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: nixt DMS. I did, yes, all right, so I'm very single. Okay,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: what did you say?
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: It wasn't anything smooth or funny, a joke. It was
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I think I just said you're unreal, or you're hot,
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: or you're I just compliment.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: It was nothing.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was nothing creative.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was nothing creative.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: I did not think much about it at all.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I just sent it. Yeah, what were your first impressions
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: of each other from social media? From social media?
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously that's very attractive, that I was unreal, unreal.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought she was attractive, which is obviously when
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: you're someone sliding in your DM, it's it's a visual platform.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: I was always kind of cautious because you don't really
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: know who's who, and so my first was wondering like
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: if she was real or I didn't know who she was.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: You don't know who they are where they're from, and
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: so it was a cautious optimism.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, and Natalie, how about you like why Nick? Why
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: slide into his DMS?
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: I honestly, well, I mean that's how I made friends
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: in LA. I just slide into people's DMS. I have
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: no shame whatsoever. And so I just saw him on
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: my Explore page and thought he was very attractive and
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: was like why not.
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  Speaker 1: And just yeah, I just shoot my shot. I don't know.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: So a lot of my girlfriends are scared to shoot
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: their shot. They don't want to be the ones to
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: say something first. So is that a.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Stigma or like is it? Are they afraid or they
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: think they shouldn't.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I think they feel nervous. They're not like I think
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: they're not. They're nervous because.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: They think that they won't reply or like they're My
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: take on that is like when I sent it to Nick,
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  Speaker 4: I'm like, he's either going to see this and respond
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: right or he's not, and I will think that he
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: just never saw it, you know, Like I didn't think
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: that he would accept my message, show me that it says,
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: and then.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Not reply, So I just figured he didn't see it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: If he didn't reply, I like that. So it's just like,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I think blind confident totally. That's good. And then you
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: kind of mentioned you were a little hesitant. Yeah, and
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: then you changed your mind. What changed your mind?
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean I was hoping, Yeah, I mean I
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: thought she was interactive. Yeah, it's Instagram, so yeah, I
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: mean as much as you'd want to be. Like, I
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: read that one caption and I could tell immediately she
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: was the smartest person in the world. I thought she
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: was attractive, And I replied, by.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Did it Natalie? Were you apprehensive at all that Nick
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: had been on reality TV?
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  Speaker 4: I was not aware.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Really, it's not aware. Did you live under a rock?
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Nobody released me? So you just found him on Instagram,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: thought he was hot and slid into his direct Yeah,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: this is fascinating.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I didn't believe her at first either, but she really
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: doesn't watch The Bachelor.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: So then when you found out, I'm guessing on like
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: the first or date.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: The first time we were together, we were in New
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: York and we were with two friends of his, one
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Shirley and Andy. Shirlen had been on the show, and
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: so they're kind of like talking about it, and I
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: have Malouf, I have no idea what you know, I'm
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: not prying, so I'm just like listening.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Later on, we're walking to go to a bar or
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: something and I was like, oh, so, how did how
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: do you and Nick know each other? And she was
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: like we were on the same show. I'm like show
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: I'm talking about, like The Bachelor? Nick was the Bachelor.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: I was like, but it made so much sense because
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: we had been in New York all weekend and people
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: were non stop stopping him, like asking for photos and
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: being like hey Nick, And I'm like, how did people
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: know who you are?
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: It's like, I have a podcast? Am? I tell her?
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I know, I don't like to assume
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: that's fair. So yeah, you showed me what a podcast?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I try not to leave her.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: You know, it's very interesting to me, like meeting you,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: because the bad is usually like this really over the
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: top sort of character, and you're the opposite. You're like
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: really chill, mellow with you know. Were you like that
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: back then?
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I've always been like that. Yeah, yeah, I mean
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: because it's you know, The Bachelor, It's it's a controlled
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: atmosphere and then add music and you know, and I
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: have like a different side, but my resting state is.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Kind of palm. Yeah, do you still recommend that people
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: go on the show or do you think the hey
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: day's over?
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: It really depends. I think I am far more. If
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I have male friends, I prep them on being cautious
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: about doing it. I just think, and it's a combination
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: of the way they still like the show hasn't really
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: evolved that much. Like they have their recipe. It works
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: for them, and so you know, yeah, they've gotten better
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: at diversity a little bit. They were kind of essentially
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: forced to improve that, but their playbook is their playbook.
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  Speaker 3: And meanwhile, the you know, society and dating and relationships,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: and we're becoming more enlightened about boundaries and expectations, and
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I just think it can be a trickier world to
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: navigate if you're a guy. I think being the Bachelor
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: is I mean, you look at now you know Clayton,
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: who's seems all like a nice guy. He's doing everything
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: what any other bachelor orform has done, and he's getting
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: a ton of heat for it and it's not really
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: doing anything wrong. But I think the people watching the
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: show are watching it through a different lens. But the
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: show hasn't really changed, and I think it's can be
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: an uphill climb for guys sometimes in terms of how
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: they're perceived. It's a show primarily enjoyed watched by women,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: not exclusively, but I think with the heighten expectations and
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: standards that we as a society are certain to have
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: when it comes to dating and relationships, sometimes it doesn't
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: always go well with how you don't have control in
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: terms of your edit and so it can be a
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: little bit more of a landmine field for guys. So
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: it really just depends on what people's intentions are. Nowadays,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: there's a hope for a career out of it, and
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I think when I went on that what death didn't exist.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: It was more of the experience. You know, social media exists,
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: but not what it is now. People come in with
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: a clear you know of them have like half of
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: them have a team.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: But don't you think the interesting part of that is
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: like when you were on, careers happened and now I
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: think it's so saturated, like I don't know who any
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: of the contestants are.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: It's impossible to be you know, for all to talk
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: about right reasons, it's virtually impossible for anyone to go
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: on with sincerity. You now have a perception of success
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: after the show, where when I first went on it
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: was like, I'll be on TV and sure people will
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: recognize me, and you know, you think, oh, that would
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: be fun to have a moment. But I mean I
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: went right back to work, and it's very different.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: What feels different about this relationship to both of you
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: feel safe? I feel.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: At home just being with him, not necessarily in our.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Home, but his heart and his soul feels like my home,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: which is something that I've never had before. Yeah, damn, okay.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: So and she's eloquent.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: I feel like she stole that from me. I mean
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: similar answer. Yeah. I mean, you know, you always want
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: to feel like you can be your truest self without
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: the fear of judgment. I think sometimes it's hard, sounds cliche.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: You know, you want to be yourself, but how do
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: you do that in a relationship? And you're always like,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: if I in myself, will they accept me? And I
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: suppose on depending how you look at it. I come
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: with baggage, do you think? Again, depend how you look
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: at it. And she never makes me feel like it
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: is So that's nice. Also, I don't we don't fight
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: all that often, not that we never do, but I've
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: you know, I've had girlfriends in the past and like
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: the fights would drag out longer than I think. There's
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: something that is age, you know, when I was younger
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: or whatever. But they think there seems to be a
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: healthier level of communication for me in the past relationships.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it takes two people to have that.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Also, we don't compete. That's for me.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: That's a big You don't compete.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: I've yeah with each other, which I think is I've
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: felt like in the past, I've I don't like I
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: felt like they were competing with me, or when we
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: would fight, I felt that there was like the sense
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: of of competition, you know, not like and we weren't
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: like doing the same thing per se, but it was
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: it went like whether it's win fights or yeah, there
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: was just a it's hard to describe, but I feel
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: like people can relate to it. Sometimes you just feel
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: like you're competing with your partner. And I don't feel
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: that with her, which.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Is nice way to go.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: She has her own stuff, which is a big deal.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, back to these tattoos. Okay, so I have viewer
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: questions want both of your opinions twenty twenty two. Who
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: should pay for a date?
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: You both offer Yeah, I mean I don't think anyone should.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: You should go for a free height out.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Obligation is a funny thing when it comes to
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: a data. You know, ideally no one feels obligated, and
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: then whoever pays the other person.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Feels, you know, like there's a trade kind of.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, obligation takes away like love language. I think there's
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: still an expectation that men pay.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I think there is too. I actually went on this
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: whole sort of thing a few years ago where I
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to go on a few days
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to pay and see how I feel.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: It's funny thing. You know, we've become again more enlightened
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: now and I both considerself feminists in the traditional sense.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: But yet, you know, I'm not someone who like what
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: does that mean? It means the different things to different people,
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: but you could there's still people who have progressive points
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: of view but still hold on to traditional kind of
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: ideologies and seems to continue.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: It's like one of the ones that persists through all
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: of the progress.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: So you know, I don't.
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: Like, like I have friends who are complete like believe
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: men and women aren't equal on all fronts, and they're like,
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: but he should pay for the day.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not sure that works. I don't think
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: that goes together.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know it doesn't. But honestly, it's like one
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: of those things I don't think we really need to
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: try to change too much. I think it comes down again,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: like the obligation. It's just like it all depends on
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: how you interpret it too, you know, like there's plenty
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: of men who also want to pay right. They might
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: feel emasculated or something like that, or maybe that's there
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: that's their way of showing love, like the gifts or whatever.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: If you kind of get if you're thinking like a
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: love language as long as someone can afford it, you know,
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: like it always gets messy when like a guy is
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: trying to like spend more than he can afford or
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: and things like that, but as long as the two
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: people are happy, you know, you know, I always kind
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: of joke like on it, like on a first date,
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: you just want like the insincere like grab for the purse,
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: like we both know, like I got this digging per
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: can't find it. So I think in twenty twenty two,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: all all guys, really, I think they just want the
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: They just don't want the the thank you for dinner
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: before the guy gets an opportunity to say I this, Yeah,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So like even this stuff,
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: it's like we both going to pretend to grab my purse.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: I think that's for most guys.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: That's all they really, that's all they appreciate.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: And then like once in a while, you know, it's
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: just like, you know, I got this.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You are many women's hero sliding into dms in real life.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: What do you think a good opening line is? If
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: you see someone at a bar at an airport, like
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: a cold open, what do you say?
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I used to feel like I was so smooth.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: I used to be a bartender, and I remember these
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: cute guys would come in and they'd come up and
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: order drinks and I'd be like, oh, like is this
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: one for your girlfriend? Like no, I don't have one, okay, cool,
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Like no, they've got it, but I don't know, like.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: If you're in an airport or I don't know where
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: you had, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I got.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Like a longer winded answer I think in twenty twenty two,
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: like the landscape's different, especially for men. You know, you
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: go on TikTok and you'll see it, like I literally
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: have some seeing these tiktoks where there was just one
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: viral TikTok where this woman got it like in her
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: car and she's like, guys, you know she's speaking to
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: all men. She's like, stop approaching women you don't know,
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: like you in general, just in general, like I just
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: stop it then in general, and it went viral. Her
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: message was like, you know, it can be uncomfortable. It
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: can be you know, a lot of creepy guys doing
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: inappropriate things. I kind of always say, like if young
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: men ask their sisters or their friends who are women
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: about experiences with men, like every like one hundred percent
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: of the women if you were like, hey, have you
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: ever had an experience when some strange guy approaching in
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: public where you ever felt like uncomfortable or unsafe, like
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent of women will be like yes, multiple right,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: at least one right. And so you appreciate empathize where
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: women might come from when they say like I don't
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: I'm at the grocery store, like I don't want to
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: have to like turn you down, and then you see
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: tiktoks for guys are like we're never talking, yeah, because
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be called weird or creepy. I
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: don't want to make you feel that way. And then
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, well, how is that sustainable? Because people are
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: constantly calling it and being like I don't want to
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: go on dating. I want to meet people, like, you know,
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: at a coffee shop. And I'm like, so, like, how
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: do we do this? And so I think especially men,
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: but I think it works with women too. I Mean,
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: the big thing is like, you don't want to be
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: afraid of rejection, and the reality is that when and
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: sadly it's more more specific to men, is that men
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: can get toxic and nasty when they feel rejected. Sometimes
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: you know, it's uncomfortable, so they know they might say
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: something rude or mean, and we have no you know,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: if you're walking up to a stranger, you don't know
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: what their days like. You don't know what they're going through,
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: what kind of day they had, their situation, their status,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: their moods. So I think the way to do it
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: is try to do it in a way where you're
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: not expecting something in return, you know, and so like
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: you just you find a way to like talk to
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: someone with a sense of gratitude. So like you could
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: just say, hey, I just want to say, like running
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: into you made my day and Nick, I hope you
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: have a good one, and like it's a kind of corny,
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: but listen, if they're interested, they will smile, they'll stop,
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: they'll ask your name, and if they like keep walking
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: and ignore you. You didn't get rejected, you didn't ask
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: for their number. But it's a weird thing, like you
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: shouldn't approach, especially Matt. I don't think you should approach
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: a stranger with a question or an ask or an
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: expectation or something that you deserve. You're just like, oh
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: my god, like you just made my day. I just
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: got to run into you by the way up, Nick,
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: and I hope you have a good day. And I'm
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: sure of the women who are interested, they will stop
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: and say, well, what's your name, or they will smile
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: or give you like an opening.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Now I see why people call into your podcast. You're
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: really good at this.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Just a thought. I don't know, I've never done it.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: But it's a good thought. I'm very impressed. This is
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: right before valance, and say, what is a romantic gesture
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: that really impresses somebody is meaningful and significant, but feels
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: like a little bit more than just like I'd like
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: to take you to dinner.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: She's much better at gifts than I am. It's not
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: my strength or love language.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: I'm just flowers, and like I big gestures, I don't
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: I guess I've never had one. I don't really know
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: like what that feeling would be like, but I love
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: just a bouquet of flowers.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Like I was just thinking of you saw these.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: They're beautiful, and I wanted to get them for you,
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: or just like I remember you mentioned this the other day,
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: and so I went and picked it up.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: That type of stuff is the stuff that I love.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Nick is very good about.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: I have to be at work super early in the mornings,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: and so those mornings that I have to be at work,
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: he wakes up with me. It makes coffee so that
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: while I'm getting ready for work, the coffee's ready, I
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: can get it in a to go cup and I.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Can go and yeahs nice, yeah, yeah, sure.
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: It's nice to like be getting ready and not look
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: back and see him peacefully snoozing, you know, when I'm
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: so tired.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: He does a lot of things like that. It's really nice.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I'm not a good gift giver, doesn't come naturally. I
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: love a good like Amazon link from a girlfriend saying
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: get this for your girlfriend. Those are my favorite. I
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: always joke in Natalie like her, she's all the love languages,
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: like she'll take love anyway you're willing to give it,
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: but which makes makes it easier and harder? Sometimes?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Do you give love and acts of service because that's
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: how you want to receive love?
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not really sure how I receive love. Does
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: it seem am I heart of love sometimes? But definitely
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: how I give love. I've realized that more by dating her.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: I've always done that, but well, I think, you know,
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: love languages has been something that's recently been really talked
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: about the past few years, like everything else. And I
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: ultimately have been for the most part single for a
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: while before Natalie, and so I never really thought about
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: it in my earlier days. But it's definitely something I
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: realized that I do and I like to do, and
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I like emotional support. I don't what would.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: That be words of information.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Maybe, Yeah, I guess I don't know.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's not.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I like feeling safe. It's a big deal for me.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not normal.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I think that's super normal.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: No, I mean, I like in general, like I just
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: feel like my brain works a little bit differently and
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: so and I recognize that. So I like to still
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: be able to be myself around her. Yeah, and so
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: that just makes me feel safe. Safety is a big
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: thing for me.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: It sounds like it is for both of you. How
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: many dates do you give it before you decide you're
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: not interested.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: I feel like I feel that on the first one
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: if I'm not.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: But don't they always feel like give it a second date.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: So if I don't, if I get a vibe that
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: I don't, I'm not.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I know I'm not going to mesh with the same
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: way I'm going to get out of here.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Women talk about the lot.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Not even an ick. It's just sort of like an't.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: I think most people, if they were being honest, would
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: say they know right away. And there's a lot of
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: truth to that. I think it's a terrible thing to do. Yeah,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: especially and I think it's becoming more and more terrible
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: because we're getting it's we have infinite access to people.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: I know, it feels like there's no good options. That's
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: no different than feeling like there's nothing to watch on Netflix.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: There's a ton you know, you.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Think I have a lot to wear in my cause
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're like attacking me.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: You have a lot to I don't. I don't know
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: what your hot it looks like, but it's a good
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: bad that you have, like, and it's just dating is
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: harder and harder, and I think you know, you get
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: that paralysis a choice. I think you think of all
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: the reasons why a first day could go badly, most
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: of which like you're nervous, things can be a little awkward.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Everyone's looking for the spark, and you know, now we're
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: becoming aware that like maybe the spark is just like
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: a trigger of our ego being like that person can
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: validate you, which is definitely not like something to shoot for,
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: like you want to get excited. Sure, but and so
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: if that's the case, and then you feel safe and
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: like you know they're not rude and you have like
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: a decent time or you're just like, I don't know,
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: they're just kind of it's kind of boring, like go
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: out again, you might as well try and see.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: You feel like attraction can grow.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: I think chemistry can grow. I mean, it depends what
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: you call attraction. If you're not physical attraction against this
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: physical attraction, and I think there's a little bit of
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: wiggle room there. But I think people are often going
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: on dates with people they find physically attractive and then
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: just goes downhill from there. So I think it would
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: serve single people well to just be a slightly more
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: willing to try a second or third date. They have
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: nothing to lose. My mom tells you, yeah, you just
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: never know. And when I met Natalie different parts of
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: the country and for different reasons, but it wasn't like
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna date this girl. I was like, she's an
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: attractive girl who seems cool. And by the end of
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: the time, we spent like a whole weekend together and
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, she seems really cool, but like
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: she wasn't even on my radars like something.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: But you wanted to learn more. Like if you go
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: on a date and you're like not wanting to learn more.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: I mean I had my I guess guard up for
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: different things, but I get what you're saying, and there's
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: definitely was an interest there. But I think a lot
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: of people, and I would use myself as an example,
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: is we all create these reasons of why it can't work,
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: and most of it is just the kind of self
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: limiting beliefs. And while I felt like I had valid
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: reasons at the time to be like Natalie is not
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: an option, clearly she was right, and it took a
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: while for me to feel you know again, it's different,
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: and I came from it, you know, I was a
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: little more guarded and like I didn't really try. You know.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: It's like she joked about like when she was She's like,
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: I don't really want so about sher and I was like, okay,
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: you know, which I kind of honestly thought saw as
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: a red flag. So it was and then I was
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: like she doesn't, you know, And so sometimes you just
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: got it. It takes time to let your guard down
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: or you know, we're it was back in the day
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: people were falling in love and then just get married
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: and whatever, and now like it's a good thing. We're
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: not feeling the pressure of getting engaged or married. At
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: twenty four to twenty five, twenty six, But as a result,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: we now come with I use the word baggage lightly
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: like exes and past trauma and heartbreak, and we try
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: not to carry those things into our new relationship. But
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: like we all do to a certain degree, and I
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: think we often have to get over our own bullshit,
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: and sometimes going on these dates is pro a way
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: for us to like get over our own bullshit. And
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: then they're bringing their own bullshit in the relationship and
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: just you might be passing on a decent thing.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: All right, fine, I'm like, get out of it on
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: the first try.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So red flags the game I'm gonna play with you.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: We'll see if we disagree or agree. Okay, so mirror
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: pick on a dating profile. It depends on the pick.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: If it's like a red flag, it's like a bathroom,
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: like you're alone and you're like, it's red flag.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: But if you're at the pool or.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Like out of beach, I don't.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Think it's red flag.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question? Yeah, I'm like going
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: off topic. Do you think it's possible. I'm gonna come
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: at you a.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Little bit, come at me. I like it.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: Do you think it's possible? You sometimes confuse pet peeves
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: and non negotiables, like you treat pet peeves like non negotiables.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, yeah, no, yes, I feel seen okay, maybe yeah.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: My mom says I'm looking for a perfection, so maybe
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: that's part of it.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: That's the But high standards are great to have, I think.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: So just as long as you know the difference between
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: petpeos and non negotiables.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: We'll discuss, Okay.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: To answer your question, of course, these are all like
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: like cringe or whatever, but like especially when it comes
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: to guys like mirror selfies or shirtless selfies or selfies
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: in general. I mean, like if you were to ask
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: me before going on TV, like my Instagram would embarrass me.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: It does embarrass me from a certain level. But then
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: like you know, I do it. I treat it like
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: a business or a certain degree. Half the guys are
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: just like I guess should I do this, Like I
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: don't know, miror selfie look and like yes, there's definitely
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: come across a profile like this guy's way too like
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: good at this or but I think sometimes you know,
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: they're more like yellow flags because like who knows, you know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: maybe this.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Is getting a different color.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: So it's like, you know, it's more like it's like
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: a red flag for like douche qualities, but like every
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: what do you do you? What do you like? What
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: do you both think? Like? I think most most men
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: that women find attractive right have been a douche or
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: acted like a douche at some point in their life
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: and they learned how to not. You know, then there's
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: people who are like helpless in the douche department. It's
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: who they are at their core.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: But there's a lid for every pot. Some woman will
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: be into that, yeah.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: For sure. But like one, you know, one mirror selfie,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: He's that's all he's got.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine, I'll take my red flag. We'll give it krin.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: It's like maybe his buddy is like, I don't know
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: how to take pictures of you guys, and he's just like,
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: all right, mirror.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Fair, Okay. They don't like labels when it comes to relationships.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Red flag messages back and forth for several days on
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: an app and doesn't ask to meet in person.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: So let's have a red flag and more of this.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Like what people are doing.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: It's such a waste of time.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: It's a waste of time, but it's you got a
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: bunch of women being like not making the first move,
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: you know, and then you know you have a bunch
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: of men I don't know what they're doing, you know,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: just crasing a bunch of matches or whatever. And if
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: guys are still like generally like hey, like you know,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: I yeah, menomen can both pay, but like first date,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: you know, so like I'm going to pay, you know,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: you live in a major city. Like every first date,
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: even for drinks, is it's a hundred bucks totally, So
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: it's just like, who do I want to spend one
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars on? Is basically a thought process. I'm sure
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: a lot of guys are thinking, right right, there's.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Ways around that. Though you get a coffee for four
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: of us.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: I agree. I also like people think I'm nuts when
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I say this, but like zoom dates, I agree. Especially
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: I feel like women always look at me like, eh,
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: I would never do that, and I'm always hearing from
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: women how like and I get it too, like safety
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: is such a big concern, like who might like I
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: have to go in and meet the stranger at a
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: bar and it's awkward and like I don't want to
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: get drussed up, And guys are like I don't know
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: if I want to drop all this money. You know,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: if you're being traditional and like no one wants to
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: agree to go Dutch, that just takes some potential romance
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: out of it. But like you can learn so much
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: by like a quick zoom call. Do they find them funny?
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Do you like their voice? Do they have a weird tick?
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Do they you know?
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know, and they like you can literally be
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: like oh, Internet disconnected and never talk to them again.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: They don't have your phone number, you can make up
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: a fake email address just for zoom. Such an easy
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: way to like qualify.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: It makes it very easy to you match with someone
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: on a dating app, send them to your Google Voice
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Zoom date. Okay, they don't have a lot of.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: Friends, potential red flag, but you know, people are different.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: You got introverts and extroverts. You have, you know, no friends,
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: little army, like not a ton of friends. Just maybe
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: they're maybe not good at making friends. They're better one
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: on one.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't mind. I don't mind that.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: It's more like I would find it to be more
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: of a red flag if they like they have a
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: lot of acquaintances but no true friends. I'd rather have
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: someone who has like one or two ride or dies.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: They don't talk shit about their friends. It's more like
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: how they are with people rather than like the quantity
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: of people they have around them.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Their sex drive is really low. Depends on your sex drive, yeah,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: the match, I guess.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: I mean for us, we would say red flag. But
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: there's plenty of people who don't, and there's plenty of
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: men who don't have a high sex drive.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. They post about you on social media often once
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, often like is it like not
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: a lot? No, like a lot.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: It just totally depends on the couple. Yeah, I mean
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I think friends see it as a red flag when
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: you have their friends and like, oh someone sells in
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: love again.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I think I refuse to post you red flag.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Oh I just don't post that much. Like I just
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: like really like I never read on Instagram or my
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Instagram's for work.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: Right, It's such a balancing act. It's such a balancing act.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: The social media thing is just a whirlwind to me.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, because one way to do it and one
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: extreme right. You have the friend who like falls fast
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: and over the course of three years like their friends
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: behind their back. Kind of make fun of them because like,
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: oh they're in love again because they get through this
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: period of dating this new person, and all over their
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Instagram with all these like right, that's one extreme. And
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: the other extreme is the person who like it's work,
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: like living together because they don't want to. And and
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: the way social media is, it's so invasive, it is
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: you know, people are judge people judge people for having xes.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: So I see the balance. I see the balance, I think.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: But if you have a if you have a zero time,
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: if you don't post at all, it could be a
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: red flag. But as I always say, social media is
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: not a love language.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Their profile mentions they don't want any drama.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: Oh god, anyone who's like dramas.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: That person loves drama.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: They insure the conversation on an app by saying something
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: like high, you're cute, not.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: A ourk flog but I didn Yeah, it's not creative.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Very little information on their dating profile.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: I always find it weird if someone has like.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: A lot, Yeah you took the time. How don't they
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: want to cook for you at their place instead of
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: going to a restroom.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: If it's a guy on a first date, I think
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: it's a red flag. Yeah, I agree, save that for
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: like the third date or whatever.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's meet in public first.
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: I think men need to be aware of what it's
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: like to date as women, not do you want to
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: come to my place? And yeah, whatever.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: This one's interesting to me. They tell you about their
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: last breakup and it sounds really messy.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: It depends on when on a first date.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: First few dates.
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: I'd say red flag first date because like and they're
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: like really going into detail. You're like, you are obviously
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: not over this, like you obviously still need some more time.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Do they bring it.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: Up, Yeah, because a lot of questions about the scenario. Yeah,
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: he wants to make sure he gives a correct red flag.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Well, these things matter. If you're just like, hey, so,
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: like when was your last relationship, they're like six months ago,
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: and you're like, well, how was it. You're like, well,
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: I'm being honest, it was tough. It's kind of messy.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: That's different than like they're like full on explaining detail
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: for detail about this messy relationship.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: First day, red flag. Right, if you were out with
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Natalie on first date, she was like, my ex cheated
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: on me and so I slashed his tires and.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's top's that's what if you're like, it.
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: Was just bad, and then a couple of dates later
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: you're like, so why was that?
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Like, right, it was messy when we're slashing tires. It's
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: where like if your date slash their exes tirres. Red flag.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, this one's very interesting. They talked to you and
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: their messages like they already know you. No, I think
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: so too.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: It's not so much as a red flag as it's
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: like dumb they give me a dialogue. No one likes
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: when you assume you know about that.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: It feels insincere.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like a line or whatever. I think
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: we'd be great together. I don't think we were, you know,
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: like it shows a lack of interest, ask questions, don't
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: assume or.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Like hey babe, yeah I don't know.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Again, I don't call it a red flag. It's more
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: like I wouldn't advise. It's a turn off dating protocol.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, they love their mom so much?
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: Well, how many o's are on the sew it can be.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: It's more like does not like how long has it
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: been since their mom did their laundry?
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Oh that's a better Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: That was it for my red flags. We have one
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: more game and then you're done with me. Okay. So
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: I came up with this card deck called Question Everything
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Too and Harvard Business Review to study the number one
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: complaint people get after a first day, first meeting, first
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: interview is I wish they'd ask me more questions. So
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: I was like, I asked questions for a living. I
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: think sometimes it just feels like awkward to enter a
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: conversation or you don't know what to ask, so like,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: why not gamify it? Yeah, so I want to play
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: with it totally.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: It looks so good.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you? Okay, Natalie, what do you want to be known.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: For being kind?
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: It's really nice. It's kind to people.
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: I want people to be like I met her and
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: she was so kind.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Nick, how about you? How are you going to top
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: that one? That was good?
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: That would be insincere if it's nice. I mean, I
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: like it when they think I'm kind. But what I
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: do want to be known for loyal I guess you.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Know when I ask people that question, they often think
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: of it in terms of legacy. I think it's interesting
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: that you both came up with character traits. Oh yeah,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: it's really nice. What is the biggest sacrifice you've made
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: on your path to achievement? Losing track of myself?
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: You know, losing the end goal, losing sight of where
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: I was got you know, I guess just like being lost.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: My own I sacrifice a lot of time and personal
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: interactions and moments with people because I chose not to
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: get out of my own way.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: And the last time you felt rejected last week probably.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: What happened Nick, Well, you know, like I have a
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: podcast on a show and you want to get big guests,
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: and you know, shooting your shot. I mean, like, you know,
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: rejected that way. I also, like, I am not afraid
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: of rejection. So come from a sales background and an
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: athletic background, and I respond well to failure.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: So it's important or.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: Feeling rejected by your audience, you know, rejected by a
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: point of view.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: Rejected by our dog Jeff, because he truly loves Nick
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: so much more than me, and he he chooses Nick
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: straight to my face, like, no, he has no shame
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: in being like I don't want to hang out with you.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: I want to be with him.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: It's the only person we know that likes me.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: More than Yeah, what's the best thing that you've ever quit?
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: All my girlfriends? Yeah, yeah, And I say that was
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: love for them. They're all wonderful people, but they don't know.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, messy, what would younger you not believe about your
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: life today?
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: My? God? Everything?
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah? Wow? Out of all the extraordinary people you've encountered,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: who made the largest impact or left a lingering memory?
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: My mother, Like, my mom is just a very strong,
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: independent woman that I've just feel like I've learned so
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: much from her that I will never forget, Like I
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: will take her in my brain with me forever, and
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: I hope to pass it down to my children.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: My parents are also awesome.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: So much so you tattooed them.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: However, I think I've been lucky to have a lot
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: of people well yeah, like a lot of people have
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: an impact on my life. But I guess like i'd
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: have to like pick like a like my high school
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: track coach or someone like that who impacted me at
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: such an early age carried forward because like they, I've
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: always had a strong work ethic, but they pushed me
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: to find another gear, another level, and so much about life,
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: even like heartbreak is learning expanding on your limits and
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: what you think you're capable of doing. And I'm very
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: thankful for the people who pushed me really hard.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, last thing, give me a book that should be
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: required for every human being to read.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Power of Intention is a good book.
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: I just recently finished My Body by Emily Reradizawski, which
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: just opens up so many.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: View into just so many women and what so many
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: women have gone through that I think it's very relatable.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: In eye opening, and I think men can get It's
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: been great takes from it as well.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd say that one. That's a good one. Yeah,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: it's so wonderful. Thank you, thank you, Thanks for your
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: time and your honesty, and you guys were both so sincere.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for having.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Us all right.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Today is a good day. To have a good day.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.