Latest / Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH / I survived September 19, but 9 years later I still haven’t gotten my home back. Valerie Sirgo

Transcript

I survived September 19, but 9 years later I still haven’t gotten my home back. Valerie Sirgo · Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: History repeated itself. On September 19, this time in 2017,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: the earth shook once again. Six years after the earthquake,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: thousands of people are still waiting for the homes they
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: lost in 2017 to be rebuilt. Six years of waiting.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Six years of being unable to forget. This is the
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: story of Valerie Sergo and her family. They lost their
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: apartment in that earthquake. It is now 2023 and they
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: still have no solution. And this is Libro Abierto. My
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: name is Valerie Sergo. I'm 48 years old and I'm
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: a preschool teacher. Okay. So that means you probably remember
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: the 1985 earthquake since you were about 11 years old, right?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: What do you remember about that earthquake?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Chaos. I don't really have very vivid memories, so to speak.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I have flashes from that time. I think it's more
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: of an emotional thing because my mother was very afraid
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: of earthquakes. Very afraid. I think that earthquake made her
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: fear of them even worse. For me, at that age,
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: it wasn't really that important. I remember we were at
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Amores and Jose Maria Rico because she used to take
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: us to school very early and the shaking started while
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: we were stopped at the light at Jose Maria Rico
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: and Amores. She still made the turn, we got out
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: at school, and we didn't have cell phones. There was
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: no way to find out what was happening. They received
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: us at school. I don't remember seeing the teachers in
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: a state of panic or having them convey to us
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: what was actually happening outside. I remember the sounds of helicopters,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: and that's about it. A little while later, I don't
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: know what time, my parents came to pick us up,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: and we went back to where we lived on Gabriel Mancera.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: We went up to the penthouse where Mario, a former neighbor, was,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: and they invited us to watch the show. It sounds
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: really messed up, but from one of his terraces you
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: could see that one of the Televisa Chapultepec towers was
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: no longer there, and you could see the smoke. At
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: that moment, my mother was having a breakdown because they
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: were reporting things on the radio. There was no television,
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: it wasn't working. And they were announcing that a building
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: had collapsed in Tlatelolco, a building where her favorite uncle lived,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: my grandmother's brother. So there was this whole crisis that,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: as a child, you don't understand. You're seeing smoke. Your
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: father is explaining what's going on because he worked at
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Televisa Chapultepec and one of the towers is missing, but
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: you had never seen three towers before anyway. And your
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: mother is screaming because they can't find her uncle, and
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: they're saying the Nuevo Leon building in Tlatelolco collapsed. There
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: were no phones. So you experience it through other people.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: You don't exp. Reince it firsthand, you experience it through
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: what the adults around you are going through. You really
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: don't understand the magnitude of it. That night there was
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: an aftershock, and I remember my mother fainting. That affected
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: me because of the fear. Seeing that she was so
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: afraid that she actually fainted. The movement of the building
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: was incredible. The cracking sound, that I do remember. I mean,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I think that's one of those things I will never forget.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: The cracking sound of the building was incredibly loud. It
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: was shocking for an 11-year-old girl. They packed a few things,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and we went to Echigerae to stay with an aunt
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: who lived there, and then to satellite with another aunt
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: while we figured out what was going on, because my
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: mother didn't want to stay in the building. The building
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: on Gabriel Mancera is a couple of blocks away, maybe
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: three blocks, from Roma. So the earthquakes felt horrible there.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: My name is Valerie Sergo. I'm 48 years old, and
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I'm a preschool teacher. We went towards satellite and stayed there,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: and after that, honestly, I don't remember anything. I remember
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: my father would go check on his photography studio. His
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: studio was on Avenida Chapultepec, across from the secondary school
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: that collapsed. So he wanted to go see what the
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: area looked like. Obviously, he couldn't get through because the
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: tragedy at that school was devastating. The children had been there.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: He would come back and tell us about it. I
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: think back then they didn't protect us as much, you know?
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Not the way people protect the information they give children today.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: We got it raw.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, tell me something. Jumping ahead to 2017, before 2017,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: had you ever been afraid of earthquakes? No. Honestly, I
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: never developed that fear. I didn't adopt it or make
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: it my own because of what happened in 1985. whether
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: in terms of my family, or nationally, let's call it that,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: or in terms of what happened in Mexico City. Honestly, no.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I've never been afraid of them. I mean, it's not
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: like I jump up and down going, oh, there's an earthquake.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: How fun. Because it isn't. But it's something we have
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: to live with in this city. Now, Valerie, tell us
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: in as much detail as possible about September 19, 2017.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: And not just the earthquake itself. Tell us about your
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: entire day, from the moment you woke up, where you went,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: the earthquake drill, the earthquake itself, what happened afterward. Tell
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: us everything about that September 19.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Wow. It's funny. I think I've told this story so
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: many times that sometimes I tell it as if I
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: wasn't actually there. I think I've already put up some
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: kind of barrier. But anyway, I woke up like I
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: did every day. I had moved back to Gabriel Mancera.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: My parents had come from San Miguel de Allende. My
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: mother had some medical checkups, if I'm not mistaken. My
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: father was teaching a course at Patricia Reyes Spindola School,
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: or giving a talk or something like that, in the
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Roma neighborhood. I took Emmanuel to school. Emmanuel is my son.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: He was in secondary school on Avenida Coyoacan. I left
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: the car in the parking garage. I used to leave
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: it downstairs, in the basement level of the parking garage,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: and I walked to my school because it was right
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: around the corner. The morning went by normally. We had
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: an earthquake drill. I teach the third year of preschool,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: so the children are five years old, about to turn six.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: We did a completely normal earthquake drill. At dismissal time,
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I was on duty. Come to think of it, I
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: think I've been on dismissal duty my entire life. But
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: that particular school year, I was assigned to what we
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: called the lane. The cars come in, drive around an
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: internal lane, pick up their children, and leave through another
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: garage door. So I was standing in the middle. The
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: cars were coming in, and suddenly the owner of the
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: school came running out, extremely agitated, saying that the earthquake
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: was terrible. I hadn't felt the movement because I was
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: used to feeling earthquakes from the fifth floor of a
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: building with hydraulic supports. At ground level, to me, an
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: earthquake was like, oh, please. You can't even feel it.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: She came out behind me, and the moment I turned
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: my body around to stop the parents who were coming
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: through the lane... the movement hit so hard that it
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: threw me against a car, onto the hood of the car.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I thought, oh, shit. This one is stronger. Obviously, the
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: poor woman inside the car was already feeling the violent shaking,
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: and then suddenly I flew Olga. Inst her car. I
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: scared the hell out of her. They got out of
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: their cars, and we moved them toward the two safety
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: areas we had. One was in the elementary school courtyard.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: and the other was toward the garden where Kinderland, the
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: preschool area, was. As I was walking, honestly, I couldn't
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: feel the shaking anymore. But I remember perfectly that I
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: turned around and looked at the building. There was the
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: school garden. Imagine I was standing here, and between the
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: buildings I could see the building where we lived. I
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: could see the fifth floor balcony perfectly, and I saw
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: it moving. But in the end, it still looked fine.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: My priority was getting to my class because my students
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: were with the teachers on duty, but they didn't have
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: their own teacher. I ran into a couple of coworkers
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: who were a little shaken up. I kept walking, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: while I was walking I tried to contact anyone in
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: my family. It didn't matter who. Obviously, the phone lines
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: weren't working. But because I could see the building and
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: it looked fine, and because I was used to earthquakes,
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I really didn't give this one the importance it deserved.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: To me it was just, oh, another earthquake. Then mothers
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: started coming in in a state of shock, screaming that
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: a school had collapsed, the Rebsamen School. But because they
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: were saying, a school collapsed on Rebsamen, and Rebsamen Street
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: is very close to us, my first thought was, I
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: know there's a school about three blocks from here. And
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: suddenly the mothers started saying. Buildings are collapsing. A building
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: on the corner almost collapsed. That was when I started
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: to understand the magnitude of what was happening. But I
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: had a group of 16 children. So I was trying
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: to calm the children, trying to calm the mothers, many
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: of whom had two or three children with them. I
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: tried calling my father. I tried calling my mother. The
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: first person I managed to speak to was Emmanuel. And
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: the only thing I said was, Stay there. Stay there.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Don't move. I'll come get you at some point. Then
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I got a call from my father. He said, valerie
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: get in touch with your mother she's hysterical i said
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: she's not answering me please try to reach her and
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: i actually answered him i'm working i don't know what
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: part of me shut everything else out and went into
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: this mode of this is where they need me right
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: now i had already spoken to two of them i
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: was missing one but i knew that one person was
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: fine because the building was still there Nothing was wrong.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Then either I managed to reach my mother or she
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: managed to reach me. I don't even know whether the
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: call came in or went out. And I hear my
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: mother screaming. The building is coming down. And I actually
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: tell her. No, it isn't. I'm looking right at it.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: The building is not coming down. Stop exaggerating. She says.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: valerie the building is coming down i asked where are
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: you she said i'm on gabriel mancera they got me
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: out of the apartment i said okay come to the
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: school i told my father the same thing and emmanuel
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: was still at his school the front door of our
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: apartment on gabriel mancera was a huge wooden door very
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: large They had trouble getting my mother out because the
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: door had jammed. The floors had buckled. So obviously, the
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: sixth floor had pushed down onto the fifth. They had
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: to break the door open, well, not exactly break it.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: They had to pound on it until they managed to
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: open it. After that, it didn't exactly open or close
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: properly anymore. So at that point you start thinking. Hmm.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: This isn't great. My mother arrived. My father arrived. And
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: my mother kept repeating. You have no idea how loudly
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: it cracked. The building is coming down. Out of sight,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: out of mind. It was that simple. I told them. Okay.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I still have to finish working here, and then I
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: have to go get my son. So just sit down
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: and stay calm. My preschool director was there, and the
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: mother of one of my co-workers also arrived and stayed
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: with them. So I felt much calmer knowing my people
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: were where I was. They were being taken care of.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: My son was okay. I was about to go get him.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I finished handing over the kids and asked my boss
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: for permission to go get Emmanuel. That was when I
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: realized what was actually happening. I left the school, which
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: was at Gabriel Mancera and Morena. and I don't think
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I had ever walked that fast down Gabriel Mancera in
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: my life. Why did I walk along Gabriel Mancera? Because
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I walked out and Gabriel Mancera was right there, so
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I just kept going all the way to the Glorieta
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: de la Virgen del Transito. I went up, and I
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: remember perfectly that I turned around and saw one of
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: the fathers from our school trying to cross around División
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: del Norte, Avenida Coyoacán, and Amores. That's why there's an
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: underpass there, because crossing that intersection is difficult. And I
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: remember yelling at him from above. Sir. Calm down. Th.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: E children are fine. Everything is okay. I just didn't
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: want him risking his life. Once I saw that he
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: had crossed, I went down toward Avenida Coyoacan. I got
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: to the school. It was, and still is, a Catholic
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: school run by nuns. And I remember one of the
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: nuns greeted me and said. You should be very proud
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: of your son because Emmanuel helped his classmates get out.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: He carried some of the girls. He stood on the
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: stairs guiding everyone. He stayed calm. And at that moment,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I was so proud of him because I thought, of course.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: In a way, that's what he had seen. So we
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: quickly walked back to my school. When we got there,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: my mother was much calmer. Emmanuel was pretty shaken up.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: My father, my father has always been an extremely calm person,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: but I could see something was wrong with him. He
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: looked completely unsettled, like he was there and not there
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: at the same time. I asked them to go back
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: to San Miguel de Allende. But first, we had to
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: recover my father's SUV. His SUV was in the Roma neighborhood.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: So it became. Okay, fuck. What do we have to do?
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: First of all, my son couldn't leave wearing his secondary
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: school uniform. So I told myself. Focus. Put your thoughts
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: in order. If they're going to evacuate, then let them
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: evacuate properly. I asked them to wait for me at
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: the school. I went back to Gabriel Mancera and looked
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: at the building. From the outside it looks strange, but
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: according to me, there was nothing I hadn't already seen
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: after other earthquakes. Some plaster had fallen. A window was cracked.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: The neighbors were hysterical. The problem was that the building
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: had been cordoned off. And once you see your building
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: cordoned off, suddenly it's not so funny anymore. Then I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: turned around and there was another building nearby that looked
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: like it was partially collapsing. I swear I still didn't
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: understand the magnitude of what was happening. It was almost
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: as if I were watching it from outside myself. Actually, no.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: My father came with me. My father came with me
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: because he said, I'll go with you. I need to
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: bring a few things down. So my father and I
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: went upstairs. And as we climbed, yes, there was a
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: hole over here, the staircase moved, there was no wall
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: over there. You could tell it wasn't a safe place
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: to be. But anyway, there we were. We went inside.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I packed a bag for my son. Then we came
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: back downstairs. I was still wearing my uniform. I even
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: went down into the basement of the building and got
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: my car out. Somehow. I. Drove my parents and my son.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: I made it as far as Merida Street. I don't
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: remember the exact cross street, but I left them there.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I said. Okay, you can make it from here. Patricia
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Reyes Spindola's school was in the Juarez neighborhood. They had
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: to cross Avenida Chapultepec, and they told me. Yes, we'll
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: make it. My son put on his backpack. My father
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: carried the three things he had brought down, personal belongings,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: his checkbook, things they needed. And they left. I watched
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: the three of them walk away and thought. Okay. Now
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: I have to go back. Getting back to the school
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: was a nightmare. I finally got there, but I kept
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: seeing people going in the opposite direction from me. And
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: I was like. What is going on?
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: In one of those zombie movies where everyone is going
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: one way and you're the hero with the rifle, bullets
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: strapped across your body, going against the crowd. And I
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: kept thinking. What the fuck? I got to the school
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: and parked the car because my car was already running
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: on fumes. After driving back through Roma, in Sagentes, closed
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: streets whatever route i could find just to get there
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: there was basically no gas left and believe me my
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: joel could handle anything but it had no gas so
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: i left it there and thought no fuck i don't
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: have anything i had gone upstairs to get my son's
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: things but i didn't have anything of mine my degree
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: my son's passport my passport Everything was still upstairs. So
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: I thought. Oh. I'm going back up. I left the car,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: turned around, and went upstairs. There were civil protection personnel
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: checking the building, and at that point they were saying
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: that it was severely damaged, that it wasn't safe to
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: go upstairs, that there was a gas leak. So I
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: went upstairs anyway. I remember I even recorded video and
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: took pictures. I could see through the staircase. I was
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: jumping over steps. But to me, nothing had happened yet.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Nobody had really said anything.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: No. Honestly, I never developed that fear. I didn't adopt
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: it or make it my own because of what happened
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: in 1985, whether in terms of my family, or nationally,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: let's call it that, or in terms of what happened
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: in Mexico City. Honestly, no. I've never been afraid of them.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I mean it's not like I jump up and down
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: going oh there's an earthquake. How fun. Because it isn't.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: But it's something we have to live with in this city.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: When I went inside I was alone in the apartment.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Because when I had gone in earlier with my father. honestly,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: it had just been. Grab three changes of clothes for
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: your son so he doesn't have to leave wearing his uniform,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: let him change in the car, and let's get out
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: of here. We had to leave. Obviously, when I went
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: back upstairs alone, it was different. That time, I actually
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: gave myself time to look at what had happened. There
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: was a hole in the living room. There was a
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: hole in the bedroom. Everywhere you looked, there was a hole.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: That was when I thought. Hmm. This didn't happen in 1985.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: In 1985, the plaster fell. Yes, the walls got damaged.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: You gave the place a little renovation and that was it.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: It was plaster. Here, I could literally see through the
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: wall of the living room. I went inside and thought. Okay,
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: a backpack. That's the easiest thing. I put the folder
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: with our documents inside. I put in two guns that
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: we owned. I put in the ammunition for those guns.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Don't ask me why I took them. I could have
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: taken other things, but for some reason they seemed important
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: to me. I think I grabbed three other completely stupid
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: things that fit inside the backpack, and I don't even
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: remember what they were. What mattered to me were the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: two guns, the ammunition, the documents, and a box of
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: my father's watches. So I took that. I took one
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: of my own watches, put it in, closed the bag,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: looked down at myself, and thought. Oh, I'm still wearing
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: my school shoes. I'm going to put on sneakers. I
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: came down to Gabriel Mancera and thought. Where the hell
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: do I go now? I called Jose Luis. Jose Luis
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: was my partner at the time, and he lived in Pedregal,
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: around Jardines, Paisios del Pedregal. I called him and said,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Guess what? I can't stay on Gabriel Mancera. They say
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: the building is badly damaged. He said, Come over here.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: He couldn't leave because the school area and all of
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Tlalpan were blocked. So he couldn't get out, and I
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: couldn't take my car anymore to get there, and I
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: didn't know. whether I would even make it. So I
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: guess I walked. I don't know why I chose a
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: route as if I were driving rather than walking. I
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: took Marina, Amores, Avenida Colonia del Valle, in Sagentes. The
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: funniest thing is that I could have come here, but
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: my mind had erased everything. I think I was in shock.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: It was like being in a movie. Even now, I
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: can't believe everything I saw along the way. there was
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: a young guy who had been run over right here
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: on the corner because everybody everybody was desperately trying to
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: get somewhere where i don't know but nobody gave a
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: damn about pedestrians nobody gave a damn about traffic lights
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: nobody gave a damn about ambulances people were getting run
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: over i think i saw about two people who had
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: been hit while i was walking Because when I passed Coahuila,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: there was a woman in a car, and some young
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: guys drove past in another car. I remember perfectly that
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: one of them leaned out and said, Here. It was
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: a bottle of water. At that moment, I realized I
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: was thirsty. I also hadn't eaten anything, but I wasn't hungry.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: I was thirsty, though. The funny thing is that I
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: didn't want to drink the water because then I would
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: have to pee. And where the hell was I supposed
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: to stop and pee? No. And I also didn't want
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: to spend too much time standing around in the street because,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: for whatever reason, I was carrying two guns. Plus my
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: father's box of watches, plus my own case with my watch.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: So when I got around Los Almendros, my mouth was
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: completely dry. But again, I didn't want to drink water
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: because I knew I would have to pee. So I
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: bought some chewing gum. And I remember the man actually
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: gave it to me for free. He said. Teacher, where
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: are you coming from? And he started talking to me.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: He said. Sit down. He let me sit on the
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: bucket he had been using as a seat. I told him.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I'm coming from Colonia del Valle, right next to Roma.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: He said. Sit down for two minutes. I remember sitting down.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: I don't think I even stayed there for two full minutes.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I got up and said.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: No.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I have to keep walking. I have to get there.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Get where? I don't know. But I had to get there.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: So I walked and walked and walked and walked. By
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: the time I realized it, it was already night time.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I reached the area around CU and each 10 and
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: suddenly Jose Luis was right there in front of me.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: He had left his house and started walking toward me
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: so he could find me. Then we walked together. We arrived,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: and I remember perfectly that I sat down. His mother
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: came outside. The entrance to Jose Luis's house is one
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: of those old houses with those Mauricio Garces-style staircases. I
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: sat down on one of the steps with the backpack
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: beside me. I took off my sneakers. And the first
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: thing I said was. My feet stink. He said. Are
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: you crazy? And I said. Yes. His mother asked me.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Would you like something to drink? I said. Yes. A tequila.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I drank a tequila. Then she asked. Do you need
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: something to eat? Should you eat something? I said. No.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: The tequila is fine. I stayed there waiting for my
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: parents to call. They called very late. They made their
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: way to San Miguel de Allende. But there were two
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: moments that gave me an incredible sense of peace. The
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: first was when I found out they were already on
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: the highway and they managed to contact me. The second
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: was when I found out they had arrived. Because I
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: knew my son could not have been better cared for
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: than he was with them. And he wasn't with me,
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: walking around and seeing everything I was seeing. Even so,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: you worry. Because I didn't know how they were going
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: to get out of Roma. The first thing that came
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: to mind was 1985 and everything that had happened. A
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: tower from a Catholic school had collapsed onto cars, balconies
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: had fallen. So mentally, I went straight back to 1985.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I hadn't really experienced 1985 firsthand the way many people had,
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: although I did eventually see things on television. But this
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: time I was right in the middle of it. Then
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Jose Luis's sister called and told us to go to
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: her house. She had a bedroom there. We went over there. Obviously,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: she lent me pajamas, underwear, and clothes. I took a
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: shower and dropped like a rock. I don't know what
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: time it was. I just shut down. The next day,
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: all I wanted to do was go BA. CK to
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Gabriel Mancera and find out what had happened. So I
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: went to Gabriel Mancera. There were people from the Mexico
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: City government inspecting the buildings. And the first building they
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: put red tape around was the one on Gabriel Mancera.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: The others had already collapsed. So they put the tape
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: around it, and my neighbors started saying.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: No.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: The building is fine. How is that possible? No, it
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: isn't going to collapse. It survived the 1985 earthquake. A
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: friend sent a structural engineer to inspect it. He went upstairs.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: When he came back down, he said. Valerie, this building
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: is going to collapse. I don't care what your neighbors say.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: It is going to collapse. You should not be going inside.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: And I said. Okay. Fine. Then a Televisa camera crew arrived.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: They caught me there, I gave them my name, and
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: obviously they heard my last name. And I started saying. Listen,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: this building is going to collapse. The building is damaged.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: The building is this, the building is that. And one neighbor,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: who is just such a classy person, started calling me
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: a liar and saying it wasn't true. I said. Okay. Fine.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: My engineer already told me this building is going to collapse. Period.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: There's no way to save it. I mean, obviously, he
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: was in denial. You only had to look at the
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: building to know it was going to fall. I think
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: the separation I created in my head was. I'm not
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: the victim because I didn't lose the property. My parents did.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: He was losing his own property. And I think anybody
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: in his position might have reacted that way. Maybe differently.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe more politely and with more respect. But I think
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: anybody could have done it. I was worried about my
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: parents because they had worked their asses off their entire
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: lives to own that apartment. It was our inheritance, but
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day it belonged to them. Well,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: it belongs to my father. So I started going upstairs
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: to see what could be saved. But the funny thing
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: is that I wasn't worried about what I could save
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: for myself. My thought was. What can I save for
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: my parents? So suddenly I would go up with the backpack.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And bring down my mother's jewelry, valuables. Then I would
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: get a call from my father. Get the documents, the deeds, this, that.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: And I would go back up. I did that over
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: and over. I don't even know how long. Until I
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: went back to work, I was constantly going up and down,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: up and down, carrying things. My mother would call me. Valerie,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: my purse. Valerie. And I would go upstairs for the
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: purse and bring the purse back down. There was another
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: concern for me. My school was there, and there was
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: another school behind us. Schools began reopening about a week,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: maybe a week and a half later. We couldn't reopen
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: because the Gabriel Mancera building could collapse. Because the Gabriel
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Mancera building still had a full gas tank. Because the
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Gabriel Mancera building. It's not that I felt guilty, but
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I needed to work.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I needed something to distract me because all I could
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: think about was wanting to go back upstairs. Looking back now,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: it wasn't okay for me to keep going up there.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: And I did it alone.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: How many times did you go up and down from
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: your apartment?
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: And for about how long did you keep doing that?
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Even after we went back to school.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Weeks. Weeks and weeks and weeks. Because after I had
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: been staying at Georgette's house and they finally gave us
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: the green light to go back to school, my son
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: came back from San Miguel. My best friend from school
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: at the time, Enrique, lived on Zola. He said. Valoran,
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: how are you going to keep going back and forth,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: back and forth, back and forth? Come live with me.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: And I said. Emmanuel, bring him here. That's how it went.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Then a mother from Emmanuel's school. the mother of his
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: best friend Paco, told me. Don't worry. I'll take care
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: of Emmanuel. I think it was about a month or
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: so that we lived like that. Well, Emmanuel stayed with Paco,
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: and I stayed with Enrique until I found an apartment.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: That was in the first days of October. No, sorry.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I signed the lease around October 27, and Emmanuel went
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: to live there. So I was calm because the parents
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: would take the boys and bring them back, and I
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: would walk to school. But while I was staying there,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I remember perfectly that I sent a message to Nneka,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: who was my director. It was 6.30 in the morning.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: I said, Hey, Nneka, I'm just letting you know. I
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: have to go to Gabriel Mancera. I need to look
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: for something. I don't remember what. She said. Valor, are
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: you crazy? I said. NECA, I'm going upstairs at Gabriel Mancera.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I would arrive, and we still had police guarding the
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: building because, again, it had red tape around it. It
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: was in danger of collapsing. So I would sweet-talk the cops.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: I'd bring them a little bread and coffee. Will you
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: let me go upstairs?
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, miss.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Come on. Look, I promise I'll only bring down whatever
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: fits in my backpack. That's all I'm bringing down. I promise. Oh, alright.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: And I would go up with a flashlight. So add
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: debris all over the stairs to the fact that every
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: time you climbed them, the staircase shook. I would climb
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: five floors and come back down five floors with a flashlight. Again,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: what did I bring down? I don't remember. It's not
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: as if you could say. Wow. Valerie, you managed to
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: empty your entire closet. No. My closet stayed there. They
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: demolished it. Friends of my sister, mothers from the school,
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: friends of my mother, everyone who knew us sent clothes
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: for both Emmanuel and me. Not because they didn't care
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: about my parents, but my parents had a closet full
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: of clothes in San Miguel de Allende. My co-workers gave
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: me uniforms. I remember writing to them and saying, Hey,
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: we're going back to work and I only have the
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: smock I was wearing when I left. Does anyone have
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: a smock I can borrow? I received I don't know
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: how many smocks. I still have one of them. I
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: still wear it. I don't know whose it originally was,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: but I still have one of those smocks. And the clothes, honestly,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I received so much. I kept what Emmanuel could use
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: and what I could use. Anything we couldn't use, I
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: took to donation centers. I would fill the car and
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: take everything over. I also started collecting children's clothes. I
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: would take them to Pestalozzi, where there was a donation
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: center receiving things for children. I would take them there.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: And like I said, every single day I went up
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: and came back down. Until one day they told us.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: You can't go upstairs anymore. The Mexico City government and
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: the structural engineers told us. We're going to give you
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: one hour. You can bring down as much as you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: can physically carry and nothing else. Obviously, you cannot do
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: a full move. You cannot do anything like that because
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: we are seriously very close to this thing collapsing, even
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: if some of you still refuse to believe it. I said. Okay.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: I called Enrique. I said. Enrique, will you help me?
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: He came. When he got upstairs, he looked at me
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: and said. I really love you, and if there's one
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: thing I have to throw in your face, it's that
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: you're a fucking idiot. You risked your life I don't
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: even know how many times, Valerie. None of us knew
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: where you were climbing up or coming back down. And
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: then the husband of my former boss, I don't know
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: how he found out, but suddenly he was climbing up too.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: When he saw what it looked like, he said. How
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: many times have you come up here? I said. I
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: don't know. He said. Valor, you must have a huge
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: guardian angel because from what Nekka has told me, you've E.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Then come here before dawn. And I said. Yeah, but
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: I only brought down three little things. He said. No.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: It's not about what you brought down. It's not about
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: how much you saved. It's about the condition this place
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: is in. Obviously, there was no electricity. So we went
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: up and brought down the rest of my mother's bags.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: I brought down a couple of suits for my father
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: because he needed suits. I brought down valuable things that
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I believed had emotional value for them. Their cameras. The
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: two camera bags. I brought down Emmanuel's video games. And
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: I didn't bring anything down for myself. At that point,
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: they tied my hands. There was nothing else I could do.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Some time later, they told us they were going to
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: demolish the building. And yes, every time I went upstairs
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: I noticed either that the cracking noises were louder, or
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: the holes were bigger, or there was more debris on
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: the stairs, or that the thing I held on to
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: between floors when climbing the stairs moved more than it
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: had before. the building was deteriorating as time passed. At
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: that time, Mr. Collins was at INVA, and he was
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: a parent from the school. His son had attended the school.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: His daughter had been Emmanuel's classmate, and they got along
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: very well. The mother of one of the school coordinators
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: had also lost an apartment in Tlalpan. It was an
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: apartment she rented out, not one she lived in. She
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: did us the favor of getting us a meeting at
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: INVI to see whether there was a possibility of demolishing
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: the building and putting something new up, or rebuilding it.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Because my neighbors swore up and down that the building
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: was perfectly fine. That it only needed a couple of beams.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: He gave me the appointment, and the first thing he
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: said was. Everyone has to agree. If even one person
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: says no, I can't do anything. Okay.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Fine.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, going from having nothing to having you help
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: us as earthquake victims was already something. And my parents
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: had told me. You handle it. You make all the decisions.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Handle it if they demolish it. Handle it if they
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: rebuild it. You make every decision about that apartment because
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's going to be yours. Okay.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: So we went. And because we are very refined people
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: from Colonia del Valle, right? With our very fancy zip code.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: The moment they heard the building was going to be
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: handled through INVI. It wasn't going to be 156 square meters,
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: the way it should be, because that's what we had before.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: It was going to have fewer square meters. The finishes
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: weren't go. ING to be luxurious like the original 1970s ones.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: They were going to be social housing finishes. But you
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: could change those later. If you didn't like the Home
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: Depot door, you could install whatever door you wanted at
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: the end of the day you would still have your
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: property and you wouldn't have to put in a single
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: peso my neighbors said no and the whole thing fell
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: apart so add that exhaustion to the fact that you
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: don't have a roof over your head You're paying rent
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: when rent was never something you had budgeted for. You're
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: going back and forth to meetings with INVA, the borough government,
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: the neighbors. Nobody agrees because everybody wants their fucking 156
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: square meters. They don't want to lose their four fucking
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: parking spaces. They want their huge walk-in closet. But of course,
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: they don't want to put in a single peso because, well,
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: we're these very important people and we're earthquake victims. I
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: brought a very close friend of my sister and my brother-in-law, Hugo.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: He works in something that isn't exactly construction, but development,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: real estate development. I brought him to a meeting to
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: present a proposal. The proposal was presented. We were going
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: to lose square footage because we weren't going to have
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: the four parking spaces, the penthouses. Okay. Then one of
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: my extremely refined neighbors brought in a man who had
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: worked on the airport project. Not Felipe Angeles Airport. The
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Mexico City Airport, the one that had always been there.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: And this man gave us an entire lecture explaining that
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: the building could be saved. Of course it could be saved.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: We would only have to pay I don't know how
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: much per apartment. And sure, absolutely, it could be saved.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Except there would be a beam running straight through the
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: middle of your living room from here to here. And
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: another beam running from there to there. And then two
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: beams across your windows. Because, of course. And instead of
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: two elevators, because one elevator shaft was already failing and
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: was very old, there would be. And I was the
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: one who said no. Then I started talking to my neighbors.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Every meeting they held, I attended. I kept saying that
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: keeping that building was impossible. That it was going to collapse.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: And of course, I told my parents everything. And my
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: parents would always ask. Well, what do you think? And
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: I would say. This building is going to collapse. And
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: forgive me, but if your plan isn't to live there,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: if the plan is to sell it and buy something else,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: imagine me, whoever I am, who walked past Gabriel Mancera
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: 325 times after the earthquake and saw that monster that
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: was about to collapse. Suddenly someone tells me they're selling
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: an apartment there. I would say. That's the worst investment
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: of your life. I wouldn't buy there. I wouldn't.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: If I wouldn't live there, do you really think I
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: would buy there? Do you still have hope that the
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: building will be rebuilt, that the property will eventually be
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: useful to you again? No.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: What I think might happen is that everyone eventually becomes
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: so exhausted that maybe the land gets sold. But as
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: far as actually rebuilding something there today, I've lost faith
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: in that. I'm going to keep working, and that may
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: sound very selfish on my part. My father keeps working
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: for himself. Of course my father probably still hopes to
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: have his property back, and I applaud him for that.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: And I truly hope he gets it. For him. Because
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: it would seem incredibly unfair to me for him to
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: die without ever seeing again what cost him so much
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: work to obtain in the first place. That would hurt
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: me deeply. But me? So project after project after project
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: after project fell apart. There was always an objection. Always a, but.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: And don't think it was everyone. Honestly, if I really
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: think about it, it was two neighbors, maybe three neighbors,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: who kept putting obstacles in the way. This happened in 2017.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: And today, it's an empty lot that fills with water
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: every day.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: So when did they finally demolish the building?
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: When they finally gave up on their whole, yes, we're
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: going to rebuild it, idea because they realized it wasn't feasible.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: The borough government sent structural engineers again. I was there.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: When they came back downstairs, they were pale. They said.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: This building has to be demolished because otherwise it is
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: going to cost you much more during the next earthquake.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: This thing is going to collapse. and it will cost
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: you dearly if someone happens to be walking underneath it
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: or if it falls onto the building next door. Because
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: the people next door couldn't even go back to their apartments.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: That monster was still standing there, and nobody knew whether
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: it was going to collapse. A lot of people did
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: go back and live there. And even to this day
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I tell them. You were brave. Because you would look
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: over and think. That's a four or five-story building next
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: to an eleven-story building. it really was like are you
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: fucking serious you're going to move back in there when
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: this thing could fall on top of you that took
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: balls so the borough government gave us an estimate and
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: told us get yourselves organized there's going to be one
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: day i don't remember whether it was one day or
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: two when you'll be allowed to do a move and
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: by move they didn't mean furniture not heavy furniture You
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: could bring down the dining room chairs. Maybe the chest
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: of drawers, grandma word, chiffonier. Maybe the refrigerator. Of course,
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: the refrigerators had all had food sitting inside for two
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: or three years. I don't remember whether the building was
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: demolished after one year, two years, three years. I don't know.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: But all the refrigerators were rotten. I think it was
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: after about a year that they finally let us go
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: back inside. That day, my mother went and stayed downstairs
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: in the parking area. My father insisted on going upstairs
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: with me. I honestly wasn't very happy about that because
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: that time when we went up, the building was three
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: times worse. He went up. He looked around. He said,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: I'm only going to ask you to bring down this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this.
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: Then he would go back downstairs, check things, and stay alert. Valerie.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: A gust of wind is coming up there. I laugh
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: because honestly, it felt horrible. And obviously my father was
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: terrified having me up there. But I was more afraid
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: of him going upstairs and having to come back down
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: those stairs. So he would sort of go up, sort
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: of come back down. I would sort of kick him out,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: sort of try to keep him from staying. But anyway.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: I remember perfectly there was one bottle that hadn't broken.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Everything we had in the bar had fallen. So I
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: was looking around and suddenly saw this bottle.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: I thought.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, this one didn't break. And it was tequila. So
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: I took a couple of swigs. We hired movers who
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: specialized in lowering things from buildings using ropes. Honestly, they
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: were very good. What I did was pack everything belonging
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: to my parents. I asked Emmanuel to make me a
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: list of what he wanted. I packed practically everything for him.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: And I remember opening my own closet and saying. I
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: don't need anything from here anymore. A year had already passed.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: I was still wearing the clothes people had given me.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: My co-workers had organized a collection. Every payday, they would
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: put some money together for me. With that, I gradually
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: bought clothes. Another co-worker, someone from elementary school that I
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: wasn't even particularly close to, immediately thought of something. Her
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: husband is a pilot. She arrived and said. Here. It
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: was a bag. And I swear it made me happier
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: than almost anything else. It was a bag full of
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Victoria's secret thongs. And I was like. Wow. She told me. Look,
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: it sounds stupid, but I know you probably need these
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: because nobody is going to think about giving you underwear.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: And she was right. So at the end of the day,
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: when I opened my closet and looked at it, I thought.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I don't need anything from here. I took a couple
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: of paintings. Photographs. Obviously, my childhood photo album. Emmanuel's albums.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: My mother had asked me to bring down all the albums,
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: so yes, obviously, photographs mattered. And I left everything else.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: I left Emmanuel's bedroom. I left my bedroom. People had
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: already donated a couple of mattresses to us. I didn't
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: need anything else.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: Valerie, what does it feel like to have people donate
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff to you? You were used to
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: your grandmother coming back from a trip and bringing you something.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: were your parents going away and you saying, bring me something.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: You had never lacked anything. No.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: I had never lacked anything. My mother always made sure
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: her daughters were the prettiest, the best dressed, the most,
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: you know. I never lacked anything. And then suddenly, that night,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: you arrive somewhere and say. I don't have pajamas. Well,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: I don't sleep in pajamas anyway. But still, I didn't
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: even have my favorite t-shirt to sleep in. And then
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: people start arriving with clothes. And more clothes. And more clothes. Honestly,
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: it was suitcases and suitcases and suitcases and suitcases. The
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: mothers from the school opened a bank account in my name.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: When I realized how much money they had deposited, it
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: was like. You realize how much people care about you.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: How much affection you have earned through your work. In
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: the case of the mothers, you realize they don't only
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: appreciate you as their children's teacher, the person their kids
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: spend part of the morning with. They appreciate you as
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: a human being because of what you've done for their children.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: Or for whatever reason. But sometimes I would take the
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: clothes out and, first, they weren't your clothes. Second, they
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: were used. Some of the clothes were in very, very
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: bad condition. Those I didn't even donate to the collection centers.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Then there were other things where I would think. Seriously?
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: They're giving me this? Like? Do they actually know what
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: they're giving me? You're seriously giving me this? My brother-in-law's
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: family got together, cousins, aunts, and suddenly I was receiving
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: brand new clothes with the tag still on. And I
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: would think. What is this? It was very difficult to
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: realize that one day you have everything, and the next
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: day you don't even have a glass to drink water from.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Then Gabby, my best friend from the CA, you know her,
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: came over and said. I'm not bringing you clothes. I'm
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: bringing you two wine glasses. I'm bringing you three drinking glasses.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: You guys gave me a set of dishes. That's how
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: the apartment in Narvart, the one on Petten, came together.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Everything in it came from donations. But I never felt
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: like it was really mine. It wasn't like I had
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: chosen the picture frame that was sitting there. Someone had
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: donated it to me. Still, I was incredibly grateful because
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: my family was together again. My parents could come back
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: to the city. My father could work. My mother could
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: come for her medical checkups. They had a roof over
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: their heads. My son had his own bedroom. I had
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: my own bedroom. And I had a closet full of clothes.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: As the situation went on, you realize you shouldn't take
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: anything for granted. And I never really knew how many
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: people were concerned about whether Emmanuel and I were okay.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: I will always be grateful to all of those people.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: My coworkers. My friends. My family. Because more than friends,
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: they became family. Because my actual family was going through
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: it too. Do you understand what I mean? It wasn't
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: like this had only happened to me. Tanya had just
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: moved to Chicago. Tanya left on July 27th of that year.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: So she had just gone. She couldn't come back. She
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: did whatever she could from there.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Okay. I imagine there were people who showed up for
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: you when you never expected them to, and there were
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: probably people who didn't show up even though you thought
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: they would. No.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: I never expected anyone to show up. I wasn't sitting
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: there thinking. Marta Elena is going to help me. Who
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: is going to come through for me? Honestly, with a
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: lot of what was donated... Clothes, objects, let's call them that,
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: and money, I never knew who gave it. I don't
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: know if that makes sense. Nobody raised their hand and said. Valor,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: I helped you. It was anonymous. It was anonymous. So
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: who did it? Thank you. That's all I can say.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: Seeing so much, sometimes you almost think. Seriously? Me? I
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: don't know if I'm explaining myself. Somebody bought a mattress
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: and had it delivered directly. I could pick up the
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: phone and say. Dude, I need an appointment for this.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: And somebody would get it for me. It wasn't all
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: material help. There were other kinds of help too. So yes,
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: the response was incredible. Maybe something you don't expect because
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: you also never expect to find yourself in that situation.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: For me. whatever it was mattered. A peso. A sock.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: A pair of underwear. A jacket. For an entire year,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: if I had shoes, if I had jackets, if I
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: had sweaters, if I had uniforms, it was because of
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: other people. The money people gave me went toward renting
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: an apartment. Toward the move. Why? Because there were expenses
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: that simply hadn't been planned for. Going back to Gabriel Mancera,
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: time kept passing. Projects kept being rejected. And now, after, fuck,
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: I don't even know how many years it has been,
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: after six years, I don't think I have almost anything
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: left from that period. I have one purse. I have
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: the jacket my boss gave me. I have a blue
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: set of dishes. I got rid of the mattresses. I
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: managed to have my own things again. Do you understand
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: what I mean? I became myself again. I'm not talking
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: about my parents because, at the end of the day,
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: there is a storage unit full of everything I brought
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: down for them, all their belongings, and they haven't taken
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: them out. Funny enough, now that my son is leaving,
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: he got rid of everything I brought down for him.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: And today I've learned that I've fallen so many times.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: This last move was my tenth move. And I have
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: always come out the other side. Always. So that earthquake
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: that left me asking people for underwear or a jacket
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: taught me that we're not taking any of this with us.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: That you don't have to cling to things. And it
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: taught me that you always make it through. And that
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: there will always be somebody there to help you. Always.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: Whether it's one person, or fifty, or one hundred. And
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I don't think about the people who weren't there. Because
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: they aren't worth giving that time to either. I'm not alone.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: I've learned that too. I also think this is the
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: responsibility of my sister and my father. I can't carry
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: that responsibility by myself. I carried it for a very
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: long time. And I kept climbing into a collapsing building
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: for my guns even though nobody asked me to. Nobody
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: forced me. Nobody put a gun to my head and
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: told me to go upstairs. I did it because I
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: wanted to. But today, I think all of us could
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: take responsibility. Not just me. So, well, what can I
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: tell you? There's nothing there. They could put in a
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: parking lot. They don't want to because then they would
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: have to fill in the hole, because it's basically a pit.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: So you can't even make money from it. But anyway.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: Nothing can be done.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: Valerie, beyond everything you just told us, beyond the fact
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: that you no longer feel attached to material things, what
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: happened with your family? Did it change the way they
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: see life in any way? Did the earthquake change you
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: as a family?
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: My sister. I don't know. Because I don't think she
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: really experienced it directly. She experienced it through us. I
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: think Tanya experienced 2017 the way I told you I
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: experienced 1985 through my mother. I don't think my mother
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: saw it very differently from the way I did. My
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: mother took ownership of the situation emotionally, so to speak,
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: without having actually experienced it here because she wasn't here.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Do you understand what I mean? She felt the grief.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: She felt the pain of losing her property. And again,
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: that's not. I think I divorced myself from that part
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: of it in order to function. Maybe being able to say.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: It belongs to them, and I'm going to fight for
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: what belongs to them. Not for me. Because, like it
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: or not, my parents are older, and I can create
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: my own assets. My concern was them. I think my
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: mother saw it more from a material perspective. And my father?
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: I don't think my father has ever been very attached
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: to material things anyway. I think that's partly why I'm
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: like that too. My father was already not very attached
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: because he went through certain circumstances in his childhood that
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: taught him that lesson all at once. And after this,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: it was just like. That's it. And he tells you.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: With what I have right now, I'm fine. And I
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: still say to him. Dad, you have clothes in storage.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I can go get them for you. And he says.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: What I have today is what I need, and I'm
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: fine with that. But your jackets. But I brought them
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: down for you. I don't need them. One jacket. One
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: pair of pants. One suit. One shirt. One tie. And
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: that's it. I don't need anything else. So my father
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: is very much in that place of. What else can happen?
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: I've gotten back up once.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: Twice.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Three times four six eight times it doesn't matter are
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: you afraid of another earthquake no there will always be
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: earthquakes and i'm not afraid of the consequences either I've
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: already lived through them one way or another.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: Are you afraid of death?
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: No. I'm not afraid of death as long as it's
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: my own. I don't like saying goodbye to other people.
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: I don't like people leaving. But if you mean me dying,
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of death itself. I'm afraid that I
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: won't have accomplished what I want to accomplish with my son.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: And what do I mean by that? The day my
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: son is in Australia, living his own life, I'll stop
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: having that fear that I won't be there for him.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: I know my death is going to cause him enormous pain,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: and I wouldn't want that. Obviously, what else can you
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: ask for? You'd like to simply fall asleep and not
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: wake up. I wouldn't want to have some horrible agony
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: or end up trapped underneath three bricks. But am I
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: afraid of death?
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: Not my own.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Valerie, on Libro Abierto we always like to close with
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: something powerful. What would you like to close with?
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: The book is still open. There has been no closure.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: There has been no solution. There is an empty lot.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: On a personal level, there was growth. I matured. I learned.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: And I let go. That's it.