Latest / The North American Friends Movie Club / The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
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- 167. Texas Chainsaw Mixdown 1: Tonight on the North American Friends Movie Club. A Radio DJ. A man in search of answers. And a guy with a big chainsaw. We watched the 1986 black comedy slasher film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. So holster up your favorite chainsaw. And don't forget your extra chainsaws. Because we're the top sawcasters in sawcasting. And this show is our chain. Run da da da da da da da da Run da da da da da da da This what it sounds like when we do a podcast. We're currently doing one. This is the North American Friends Movie Club, and you might notice something about the name of our show. And that's Friends Comes Before Movie Club because it's simply more important to us. It's as important to us as oil is to a chainsaw. So I gotta ask my two little chainsaw nubbins how we cutting. We're slashing and gashing. And thrashing. Good. We said we've already said the word chainsaw so many times so. Yeah, there's at least six in the intro. Everybody take a drink of their soda every time you hear the word chainsaw. yeah. And if you did it with beer, you'll die. You'll die. do you guys want to hear what's been happening? I would love to. I was just just about to ask. Okay, so When children are little, adults often teach them songs as a way to learn important skills in life. And one song that was taught to my stepsons in preschool was Stop, don't touch me there, that is my no no square. Stop, don't touch me there, that is my no no square. Okay. So that teaches us. That no, you can't touch me in the no no square, which is the genital region. Can you point to the nono square one more time, please? For those at home, Kate made a square shape with her hands and and pointed at where the nono zone was at least four times. The song is a banger, I will say that, but I don't like the saying square. So Jules did not learn that in her school, but she has tak she took that on. And now the other night, as an as a parent, we sometimes pinch our children's bottoms. And My daughter doesn't like that all the time, which is fair. Which is fair. And she said, That's my no no square. And I said, Is it? And she goes, Well, it's my no no cube. And I was like, I like that. Yeah, she's right. Yeah. Exactly. And it makes better sense because it's correct. It's like three dimensional. Yeah, because you could come in from the side of the square if it's not a cube. Exactly. You can come to the side, you can come over, over the top. So it needs to be a cube. So then I made new words. Stop. You're being rude. You're near my no no cube. Stop. That's good. You're being rude, you're near my no no cube. Yep. Very good. There would be no amount of shame. That is the most shameful experience I can think of of someone getting that song sung to them in public. Right. I'll never kill myself unless that happens. Brent is laughing too hard at the suicide joke. And that is problematic for me. It's just funny if I got a text at like four in the morning from Kate saying God has killed himself. when you guys were in school, did they teach you about like cold pricklies and warm fuzzies or anything that about okay. so in America. Well, there was no kind of like this is good touch, this is bad touch talk. No. Certainly not that I remember. That's not either. Well, Canada needs I mean, Canada is superior. I mean I'm sure they are now. If I had to guess like who's doing it more, Canada or America, I'd be like, Canada's probably on it now. They're probably got they probably got a second and third verse to that. I hope so. Because they probably they that song probably includes hair. Like, don't touch my hair, even. Like just fucking keep your hands to yourself. Don't touch me. That's what the song is like. No, I'm not a teddy bear. Keep your hands off my hair. You gotta sing it twice. You have to do it like you have to mess up the word. Don't touch my hair. I'm not. Your terri bear. No. No, it's okay. that was backwards. Okay. No, it's still good though. Yeah, yeah. You have the right. Shoulder work. Yeah. Yeah. When I was growing up they taught warm pricklies, wait, warm fuzzies and cold pricklies. And what they were trying to do is like how people make you feel. And that's all well and good, but a lot of kids don't even know like I don't know. To me that's too esoteric. Like that's too Like what that mean? Yeah. So I really like this square and cube and like and I like that we're putting things in songs. Yep. I always love a song. speaking of songs. Now Nate brought this up with a little it's we've brought it up several times. But yesterday I caught myself singing and I realized yet again, I just have a song in my heart. You do. Yeah. I do. Yeah. Why? I don't know. Do you? Only you can answer that question. How often are you singing in the day? Maybe once, twice a week. Yeah. If you got a song in your heart, it's a more serious commitment than that. I probably be a main character in like a Disney movie. Not at this rate. Maybe Pixar. You're a main character in a different kind of movie. Yeah. But not a musical, not a Disney musical. Where I think Nate is definitely a Disney musical character. I sang probably forty-five minutes yesterday. I was spent singing for me. That's crazy. What is I mean, I got stuff to do in the day. Really singing. Like trying to doing the lady parts, trying to make my s voice sound exactly like theirs. Brent, I see and I've been doing this since a child. I will sing, and this is probably like neurodivergent stuff. But like I will sing what I'm doing. I will make up songs about the tasks I am engaging in. Give us a give us a couple bars. I gotta get out on the fucking podcast because I am late and I'm running late and I gotta get on the fucking podcast. Like that's That's how the Eagles Road Hotel California. Yeah, worked for them? Worked for Kate. I'll think about how stupid I am a lot. Like if I make a mistake. Yeah, no, if I make a mistake, I'll be like, look at this fucking idiot. What a dipshit and a dumbass. I like that too. That's actually true. I do I do sing about things I don't want to do. Like fucking hand laundry. A fucking hand laundry. And normally it's just like one, like three words that I am flourishing. I'm like Kelly Clarkson. Absolutely. What Mandy Moore. Or Mandy Moore, any one of the the babs. Yeah. I saw a cyber truck pulling a trailer full of concrete bits. And I'm he was turning in front of me, and I made sure that he saw me mouth the words. What a fucking dork. And I was like, What a fucking dork. Yeah, you really enunciated so he can he could see it. What if he was doing a favor for somebody and he had a board with their car and he does what you're doing what you guys do with the song is heart and people are calling me a fucking dork. That's what I if I had to step into the cyber truck, I'd be like Right now, everyone's gonna think that I'm a fucking idiot. And I was like, look at him, like I bet he was so excited that he got to use his Cybertruck for man work. Yeah. That like and that and I was actually surprised that it was pulling a trailer full of concrete because there's so many videos on the internet of Cybertrucks being not trucks. Like not trucking. Yeah, they're the least of trucks. They're like the baby it's like when trucks are born, they are a cyber truck and they have to grow into the big trucks. Yeah. I like the new lore. I I have a joke that may or may not make this final production, but it's like when a truck is born and it it didn't it suffered from a lack of oxygen for a couple minutes. And then it they saved it, and then it became a truck. Yeah. I agree. This that became the Cybertruck? It just that's what the Cybertruck Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? You told it in a way that is it's gonna stay. You you managed to thread that needle. The baby truck did not get enough oxygen. Mm-hmm. And so it All trucks are born equal, is what we're saying. Yeah. This one just didn't get enough oxygen. That's right. I think we saved the bit. I think we saved So now I feel bad. I feel bad. Now I'm gonna like reorient my can't relating to this, Kate. You cannot cannot make that. My empathy is coming out. Turn that empathy off. We're gonna if we're gonna be mean, we gotta be mean. Okay, and my last thing is I want to start integrating a word into my vocabulary more frequently. god. No, it's not bad. I live in the Midwest and we're country folk. And I went to buy my daily soda. And the cashier said howdy. And I was like, and I said howdy back. Yeah. And I liked it. Yeah, it's good. I like it. Also like ma'am. I that's a s that's like a s a a southernish thing that I really have adopted into my life. Like ma'am. I've been saying y'all. I I use y'all a lot. I normally I say y'all a lot and I instead of excuse me, I exclusively say pardon me. Pardon me's good. I I say the South will rise again a lot. But I'm gonna try so ask me next week. I'm gonna try to say howdy at least five times. Okay. We got a howdy count on our hands. Howdy count next week. And that's that's what's been happening. That's what that's what happened. That's what happened. okay, I'm excited about the howdy count for sure. let's bring up my list of my week. I think I don't know, last week's episode or the week before I talked about how Basically me and the B P C run the show now. So much pissing. Cork hogs. Cork hogs, so much pissing. We're missing the sidewalk. We're missing the grass. We don't care. We're just going up and down, doing our little our one point two kilometer route. that hasn't changed. Still running it. my head is sore from nodding at people. I'm even nodding and saying hi to the the the the dog, my enemy guy. He said hi to me. That's the biggest developed, I know. Big Big development. I know. He still crosses the street when he sees me, but it's still he nodded and said hello. Love it. Step one. I'm doing the silent head nod and hand up to multiple neighbors. Love it. Multiple neighbors. I'm Literally I'm one step away from kissing babies. There's babies on the street that I would be kissing them. It's just a good feeling. It's just like it's up my Psyche took a big hit when I moved because I I only moved to the other end of the street, but it's a whole different ballgame down here on the south side. Yeah. and I'm running it. I'm running it within six. Post Dune Brent. This is south side post Dune Brent. I think you should go into politics. I feel like you could be an amazing community leader. If you said you if you locked in, you could be mayor by 60. For sure. if I locked in, yeah. Considering our history of mayors that we had. Yeah. But you have no interest. I have no interest at all. Because I don't know about taxes and you'd hate it. You'd totally hate it. Yeah. It'd be Your luck, you'd get like a Jaws situation out there. Like you know, you'd find yourself like we would discover a Kraken in the harbor my second day. Yeah. Fucking Yeah. happy Thanksgiving. Happy Blade of Thanksgiving to all the Canadians. Best time for Thanksgiving, ultimate time for Thanksgiving. Everything looks like Thanksgiving outside. It's beautiful. It's not too cold. It's not three weeks away from another major holiday. it's just it's excellent. It's the best time. we had my sister had dinner on Monday. We had dinner on Sunday, a lot of turkey being passed around. Sunday we had everyone over here cooked a delightful bird. Melissa made a biscoff cheesecake. All the trimmings I made. What kind of cheesecake? Biscoff. Like the cookie. Yeah. Remember and we're keeping with if we recall, remember when I was doing that bit where I was predicting flavor trends? Yeah. I predicted biscoff. Okay, yeah. Just I do feel like your wife might collude in with that with you, so I don't know if we could also we can use Melissa doesn't take anything I say seriously. I I gotta come in and say I was Just thinking about Brent the other day because they got a hot honey sandwich at AW. I'm like, this guy is ahead of every fucking trend. He just sees it. He sees the feel. Yeah, I see it. And I then I obsess about it for a couple of days. Then I come out with what I might take. Anyway. so we were just feeling like very hostish. Most of I'm gonna go out in the garden and cut some fresh flowers. I bet. For the dining room. Love it. Go ahead, these nice purple ones. She went, cut them, put them in. and then I'm in the kitchen and she's looking through the glass door, at least the dining room. She says, We have a a problem. We have a huge problem. And I was like, God, what? I walked out, eight bees flying around the living room. All the bees were on the flowers. my god, they were napping together. I was like, Melissa, how did you not notice eight live bees? It's a good question. It's a fair question. like there's like That's a lot of bees. Sleep in flowers, I've heard. It doesn't matter. Ace One or two bees you could slip by. Yeah. Were they big bees or little guys? They were they basically had school bags on their back. They were huge. So she cut she took the time to cut the flower. She said, I haven't cut them. I shook them out. And then I'm like, yeah, as soon as they heat they were sleeping, as soon as the heat hit them, they all just fucking so she had take a a cup and a Canadian tire flyer. trap them against the wall and take each one out individually. That was her punishment. Good for Melissa for saving the bees and not murdering them. Yeah, you gotta save the bees. I would have had this fly slaughter. There would have been eight less bees if Yeah, I'm glad I'm glad Melissa was there to do the right thing. I was kind of hoping it happened during the dinner though, like my C to I was kind of hoping the the ABs flew up then. What if you have someone allergic to it though? Not my fault. Melissa brought Melissa introduced the bees to the house. You have a family a beloved family member die. You're like, not my fault. My bitch wife did it. Would never say that, but I'll let Melissa know that you said that. Okay. How big was your turkey? Twenty-four pounds. my god. Do you do you have a big enough oven for that? Yeah. We had Melissa to go buy a new roaster. She says, I'm not allowed to buy the turkey anymore. Not me, her. She's not allowed to buy the turkey anymore. She she overbuys size wise. But I like Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm more jacked about the the leftovers than the actual day of the meal. Yeah. Turkey sandwich. Turkey sandwiches, hot turkey sandwiches, hot turkey sandwiches the way you gotta boil it in the cookie. Making turkey soup this weekend. fuck yeah. I'm hungry. So she could buy big turkey as she wants. I'll send a picture of it later. She loves the big turkey. She does love a big turkey. She got herself one, I'll tell you that. I don't know if Nate brought this up, but I'm I'm gonna say it. know what show I'm really in on? Forge and fire. Did I bring this up already? Hmm. Sounds familiar. I think it's is it the a reality show where they did Yeah, it's a it's a re Yeah, it's a reality competition where bladesmiths make a a blade. For these judges, and there's three. Yeah, and there's I remember you told us there was one guy and they like roasted his ass 'cause they're like, you call that a blade? Like that's just a piece of metal and they were like really harsh on him. Like this is an insult to blade work. Yeah. It's a ch it's a time honored tradition, and these blade guys take it serious. And I'm all in on it. I wanted to be if it wasn't for like how hot the forge would get, I would love to do that stuff. It's just too warm for me. I'd be too sweaty. I feel like you would get used to it though. I feel like those foragers those blacksmith. Yeah. Bladesmiths, bladesmiths, real minds of Moria stuff. Do they use newspaper to hold the the hotness? Well they they're a little they're not like fucking back air guy. They use gloves and stuff. No, I know, but like I've seen never mind. Wet newspaper. I know what you're saying 'cause it insulates well. Yeah, I know. Maybe. I think I like a man owned stuff. I know I wanna I know all the terms. I know all the terms. D-elamination, tang. I I know all of it. I think I could judge well. I think I should be on the show somehow. What is something? Go ahead. I'm interrupting you. No, go ahead. I like the question. Go ahead. No, what is something that is important to you that maybe isn't important to other judges? The first round you have to make your signature blade out of something. And so they give you a different kind of metal and you gotta make your signature blade. A lot of people go with chomp competition shoppers and I'm tired of seeing them. I wanna see something different. And what do those look like? You know, those ever see those videos where there's like hickey guys are out at a competition and they're cutting a rope and they go cut a bottle and they cut a tennis ball. It's those things. That's what a kind and I'm tired of it. Put your balls out onto the air. Nobody's making a filet. Like that would they they they're put through various rough tests, Kate these blades. A filet knife would not last. I want to build a blind. But it would but that's not a that's not a competition part. I want the I'll give me the hardest. I want to build a blade and I want the hardest test. I want the cowbone chop, then I want the fish slice. Okay. And then I'll Yeah, you want a blade that can do bone and do it all. A freak in the sheets and the streets. That's right. Well, I would no, no, I'd stick to the classic saying freaking the sheets lady in the streets, because I want a sexy looking blade, but I also want that blade to fuck me. Blade the blade gonna fuck you up though, too. Did you guys know that I actually on Reddit last night saw a two diagrams of the different kinds of knives and blades? And what I realized is that I have a knife in my head that doesn't exist in the world. you've got a spirit blade that you have yet to bring forth from the from the blade world. The third round of the competition, the last two competitors have to build a a recreation of a weapon from history, and I guarantee you every single blade idea has been thought of. There like there's so many episodes of the show. I agree. I'm sure. However, I haven't seen it and it's not included on the typical list of bla like there's like the fifty most common knives, and it's not one of those, so it's an uncommon knives. Well, I hold baited breath to hopefully I see this blade come to a vision one day. We gotta get her in a forge. We gotta maybe you and I gotta get in the forge, Kate. You know, fire makes things stronger. Yeah, that's they they heat it up really hot and they dunk it into oil and they call that quenching, and that hardens the blade. I would call it the ripper. Ooh. Many years ago our friendship got quenched. I like that. Thank you. We are a blade. The three of us. Uh-huh. We're the beautiful ra three bladed razor. Beautiful three-bladed razor. Called the Ripper. no, that's different. Once again, that's my specific. Sorry. It's that it's the time of year where toddlers are wearing like cardigans with pumpkins on them and ghosts and bats. And I'm just out there jealous as fuck. I can't stand it. I hate it so much. I just want to wear clothes that are are cool like that. And that's all I want. And I just want to do it so bad. I hate my body. I wish I didn't look like I do in clothes. Toddlers have it all. I'm tired of it. And you should just stop growing when you're a toddler. Any toddlers listening, just stop. Here's the thing, Brent. Only you are in your way. You can wear those things. I don't think they got I don't think they got as good clothes for adults as they got for kids. Like a little cute little pumpkin sweater that's orange and maybe the pumpkin says boo. Like they don't they're not bringing that for us. I wish they were kid at the beach, he had a button-up shirt with popsicles on it in the summer. Fucking beautiful. You have mentioned that, and that for sure exists for men. I we gotta get you the big boy version. And that's how I brought in the the chubbies. Brand chubbies. Yeah, I know. And that's will never happen for me. I just don't look good at You wouldn't wear it to you wouldn't wear it. So, like what you want to wear versus your reality is there's no scenario in which you would wear what you are attracted to. If you came to me right now, I'll show you the picture. I'll send it in the group. Did you take a picture of a child, Brent? No, it was it's from Google. It's meant to be taken pictures of. If I could find that outfit in my size and look you send as good yeah, a look as good as that kid, I'd be so happy. my god, this child is adorable. it's a onesie. that's sick. That is sick. I know, right? I would love. I would love to wear that onesie in adult size. It would be. I think we're on to something here. Yeah, we might be on to something here. Well, I'm on to something you guys are just helping me now. You have the idea. Yeah, but we're gonna help you there's like have it come to fruition. What I also like is that it snaps around the legs and crotch. So you don't take the whole thing off just like a toddler. You're unsnapping the legs like tearaway pants so that you go to the bathroom without taking off the whole thing. That is a perfect transition into my last thing. Sobering moment for for Brent last week, watching the hockey game, chatting Spanish Angels. I had a bad restaurant experience of Petrura with Jeremy. I don't know if told us on the show, but I ordered ribs. I don't went to a barbecue place, I ordered ribs and chicken. I ordered I got a little maverick with and got two different sauces. The Carolina mustard and the belly up barbecue sauce. And it was just straight up mustard on the ribs. And it was slathered on with the paintbrush and it just it was bad. I think I I don't know. I I think I sent the picture in our group. Let me double check. I don't think you did. I would have remembered mustard colored ribs. Yeah, mustard ribs would stand out to me as well. One second, I'll send the mustard ribs right now. That sounds you guys know what I'm working with. Is that what's going on? Is that what's going on in Nova Scotia with your barbecue? They need a new mare. They do need a new mare. so I sent the picture and I was brave enough to send the picture to the Spanish angle. Yeah, that's no good. Also, those vegetables are chopped in both ways, physically and appearance wise. Jeremy's plate looks pretty good though. I'm not gonna lie. Jeremy's looks way better. Yeah, of course it does, because he's cool. He's cool. He's a cool guy, dunks on you every time. I don't like that it looks like what they're doing to their meat is they're like cooking their meat, and then at the very end, then they're applying sauce. Yeah. It doesn't look like that. That's what they're doing. Yeah. So I was brave enough to post this picture in Spanish Angels because that's what a good poster does. He posts the good stuff and the bad things. He's not scared to get roasted a little bit. Anyway, so this was two weeks ago. It got brought up again last week with the ribs. And then I I was accused of putting the sauce on myself like that and taking the picture. And they called me the self-sauce saboteur. I was watching the hot game. I was laying in bed. I got up to respond so quickly. I had what only could be described by one person in chat as a catastrophic seam failure in my underwear. I ripped those fuckers from one leg along the leg. Up across the crotch along the other lake, and I will send the picture of the underwear. I took a picture. You're not wearing them, are you? I could listen. If I was wearing them and sent this picture, you guys would never talk to me again. We're we'd see where the food comes out. You would s you would see you would see the whole production, Kate. That's right. pictures been sent. Yeah, you really didn't. How does that happen? Yeah. You gotta get really upset about ribs. It had to be a faulty. A faulty stitch. Catastrophic seam failure. That's what I like. I go by that. And that was sobering to rip your underwear like that. I thought I popped my ACL out the sound it made. And I'll probably sc attach the picture of the ribs and the underwear to this episode. You should. Especially the ribs. They look terrible. Yeah, some of the worst ribs I've ever seen in my life. How is the chicken? Terrible. Everything was terrible. They look bad. Yeah. We let's do the weekly report. We need to refresh. Yes. Week, week, week, week, week, week, week, week, week, weekly report. Real week, week, week, week, week, week, week, week, week, weekly report. Weekly report. Okay. I have a new dance move this week. I did all my D's this week. Yep. this this new dance move is called Marionate. It's when I pretend to be a Marionette, but I'll picture it. It's beautiful too in my head. Yeah, there it is. And I was r I like doing it really good too. I was doing like some some like ballet marionette stuff. Real like the name is so good. Awesome. So that's it creates an image. That's perfect. Yeah. I was working out in the garage quite a bit, working on lots of different stuff. Built a new contraption to make for my planer. for my power planer. Bell planer. Power planer. but I got a lot of dust on me. A lot of wooden wood dusts. And it and I went inside and I was covered in dust in my hair and my beard. And it was like a preview of what I'll look like when my hair and my beard turn white. And I just gotta say, I feel so sorry for all the forty-year-old to sixty-five-year-old women of Earth. It's gonna be it's gonna be rowdy for you guys. Woo! It's gonna be love and confidence. It's gonna be tough. I love it. It was giving boat captain. It was giving Kenny Rogers. It's it's giving Burt Reynolds. I'm Kenny Rogers as the captain of a boat. Kenny Rogers is the captain of a boat, so I just want to apologize for all the trouble that I'm gonna cause when I'm a beautiful silver fox. I'm excited for you. I like that you have a very complicated and powerful power tool on a folding table which is then supported on wheels. Yeah. I just and it's not secured in any way. I just made the box exactly the right size. So it's just a table on in a box on some wheels. Red green will never be dead as long as NADO As long as I'm here I keep the tradition alive. That is a hundred percent correct first thing I saw was the folding table. I'm like, this is this is Well what am I gonna build a whole new table? I got one. I'm you know what? Every now and then I feel like things work out for a reason. Like we had to del delay recording this podcast a couple of times before we were able to record today. And that allowed me to finish yesterday was one thousand days since I started exercise. Exactly one thousand days since I started exercising, which I announced on Congratulations. Congratulations. That's over or is it almost three years? Yeah, it's like almost three years. I think it's you gotta go like 150 days or something like that. I don't know. A hundred more days. I feel great. Math. Yeah. Everyone's math is so bad. Yeah, my math's not good. We we know it's not good. We we know it's not good. you continue. I and I had such good workout because I was so filled with Joy of knowing it was a thousand days. I was like, I danced for like 35 minutes afterwards. I'm like, Well, it's a thousand days. You know, you gotta like gotta mark the occasion. Have you ever done anything for a thousand days straight? No. Live. Maybe smoked pot. Maybe you've smoked pot a thousand days straight. Definitely that. Yeah. Definitely. Easy. It's 95 days over three years. Is it? Okay. So I said a hundred. Amazing. I feel like that's not I wasn't that easy. You said a hundred below. You said a hundred. No, you said a hundred below a thousand. I don't think I said that. you're gonna edit this podcast and I'm gonna be right and I can't wait. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. Is there something that Nate a thousand days ago would be surprised about? Well, I was had no idea I was gonna start dancing a thousand days ago. That was like no, that wasn't anywhere on the radar. Now I'm like Kind of a dancing machine, I would say. I'm like one of maybe one of the top dancers in Edmonton. If you looked at Nate a thousand days ago and say he lives his life by one motto and that's four D's, you'd be like, what the fuck? Did I get myself? I didn't know I was gonna read Dostoevsky's. I didn't know I was gonna read I hadn't I wasn't drinking milk at all. There wasn't a but there wasn't a drop of milk in the house a thousand days ago. Now I'm buying a gallon at a time. So And you started this while we started the podcast. I remember. Yeah. Right? Yep. And you said back then that you do very well when you keep track of things. Like if you have a schedule. So I think this is just more evidence. Like this podcast might save lives. Listen, I hope I ins have inspired people just to walk. Because that's how I started. I was just like, I also think that's an important part of it where I wasn't like, okay, I'm going from obese and immobile to kill yourself at the job. I I you just gotta walk, we're gonna walk. Like the first hundred days, 200 days was just I'm just going on walks. Were you obese and immobile? Well, relatively. Re No, still a stud, but like listen, some of us are athletes. You know, some of us are just the hand eye coordination, it's there. The hips, the hands, they work together. We're in we're in harmony. I was carrying a lot of extra weight. You were not immobile though. It wasn't like you had like how long was your first walk? Something like ten thousand steps. Yeah, but you're talking like you're like real fat, like stick, like morbidly obese. Yeah. No, I was it was never it's ne it was never really like that. I got a stick. Yeah. Yeah. It was like we're knocking all fucking wall down to get yet. But I will say Actually, I was noticing this the other day. Like I can now touch every part of my back. And there was like one part of my back where I was like, I've never touched this before. I couldn't get around back here to scratch here, but now I can because there's nothing in the way. I was like, that's cool. Right on. I love it. Fully sc fully scratched back. Let's go. FSB, love it. And then my final note is I owe Dante an apology. I owe Dante an apology. I I was talking a lot of shit about him last week. I was saying the purgatory is just a bunch of Italians and it's boring me to death. And it was, I'm not gonna lie. There's the beginning of Purgatory, boring, boring Torio. That's what I say. This the way this shit ends, he gets to the top of Mount Purgatorio, and he's and that's where they say Eden. Eden and heaven are two different things. This I didn't know this. I didn't know Eden, I thought Eden was in heaven. I'm gonna knock No. Eden is actually technically located, according to Dante, in purgatory. And so he's walking around Eden. He's talking actually quite a sh lot of shit about Eve. He's like, I can't believe she fucked this up for us. What an asshole. Should have known better. We could have been living here the whole time, being kind of a dick about it. and then he comes across this like spirit, and she's telling him about these this water, and one of them like makes you. clears you of all your sins, or one of them makes you remember every sin you've ever had, and then one of them like absolves you of all the sins, or something like this. So special river, you gotta drink from different sides of it. Then Dante's girlfriend, Beatrice, shows up, and this is where things get incredible because she's like, my god, you're here, Dante. He's like, Yes, I made it through hell, and she's like, I'm so glad you're here. Cheating. Son of a bitch. I heard you was looking at other women after I died. What do you got to say about that? And he is just he is an absolute he's been like caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He's like, it's scandal. It's true. I looked at two other women and thought thoughts about these other two women. She's like, I know you did. I know you did. And God know you did. And if you tried to lie about that, we would have sent you straight to hell. So you're so lucky you told the truth about looking at two other women. Like then she goes on this big rant. She's like, when we first started dating, you couldn't stop staring at me. you couldn't stop kissing me. Then I turned 25, and all of a sudden, where's fucking Dante? He's writing his books. She's like, she's just reading him to film, and I was like riveted up, like, holy shit. Soap opera. Good. This is juicy. Like the 25 was the age to feel like. my God. That's hard to live in that. It's like you turned away from me. And he's like, It's true. It's true. I'm a worm. I'm a pathetic worm. She's you are. But now you can drink the juice. You can drink the magical juice that reminds you of every sin you ever done. And then the one that makes you forget every sin you've ever done. And you may come into heaven. And that was where I left it is we're now in paradise. We're on the home stretch. It's the shortest one of the three books. I'm gonna be done this in a few days. And Dante, I wasn't for familiar with your game. I have to apologize. Wow. and that's the weekly weekly report. Well, that sounds like he we have an update on the sinners, and we speaking of sinners, we have a lot of sinners, a lot of sinners in this movie. It was Kate's pick of my month, which is the P word that makes you think of Halloween. Not pumpkin psychological thrillers. we got roasted this week by Ray, who said congrats to Kate, who finally picked a movie to fit the theme, which was Jacob Flatter. We are the best movie podcast. so it's Kate's turn to tell us about her movie. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is the continuation of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1. This is 13 years later. Dennis Hopper is a law person who has been searching for the Sawyer family who are the terrible killers. And no one believes that this family exists, even though there has been ongoing Texas chainsaw massacring. And what we see is two douchebags. Are drinking and driving to Dallas for a football game, and they call into a radio program. And during the call into the radio program, they are they play chicken against the Sawyer family, and then the Sawyer family comes back. Sawyer family being Leatherface and Chop Top. They are brothers. Chop Top has the corpse of his brother attached to the front of him. They've got chance of and they kill these two guys and it's all recorded on the radio. And so then Dennis Hopper believes the radio gal, the radio gal plays the tape of the murder to get the attention of the people, the Sawyer family, and the the dad, the uncle, the whoever it is, is a person in the community. Drake, yes. He is a award-winning Chili cook and we come to find out that he's winning awards for his chili because he's using prime beef. And let me guess, let you guess what the prime beef is. It it's people. It's people. And so they come to find the radio gal whose name is Stretch, pardon me. So Dennis Hopper's lefty, the gal, the Nita's Stretch. she's at work. Leatherface and Chop Top come to kill her. She uses her feminine wiles to try to. Leatherface ends up liking her, doesn't kill her. They kill her buddy who works there. She, for some reason, follows them back to their lair, gets kidnapped, and the most of the film is Dennis Hopper trying to dismantle the lair with chainsaws, and Stretch is trying to get out. It ends with. Chop Top dying stretch living in Dennis Hopper, I think, dying. I don't know. But that is Chainsaw. Okay. That's Texas Chainsaw Mascore. Alright. Great job, that's excellent. Yeah, it's like you were part of the writing team. Great job. let's let's talk about all the parts of Texas Chainsaw. Let's talk about all the parts of Texas Chainsaw Mask. what a fucking stinker of a movie. No. Yes. But Brent, the real you cannot imagine the relief that washed over me one minute into this movie when I realized this was a bad movie. Because I was like I put this off until literally last night. I put it off until the exact last movie. I was so mad that I had to watch it. I thought I was about to be like exposed to pure psychological. horror and terror from beginning to end. I thought it was going to like thought I was gonna have to face poverty and like bias and like all these societal issues. And when this movie starts with two guys in a car being like, hew pew pew It's like, thank God. thank God. I was like, I so I was actually in a good mood the whole movie. As the worse it got, the happier I was. As As soon as I saw the dinosaur sunglasses guy, I'm like, this is gonna fucking suck. This was almost impossible to watch for me. It took me this movies I've ever seen. I would agree. And I'm not as angry at it as I was Bean. Because Bean was like trying to do something, I feel like. This I feel like they're trying to do a dirt comedy. The acting was terrible. I was disgusted with the level of gore. I it was gratuitous in a way that I don't I just really this was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Yeah, like d I'm trying to think of a redeeming quality to say like why if you enjoyed the first one, why watch the second one? I can't I can't think of anything. I mean it wasn't scary at all. There's no scary anything it might be the least scary movie I've ever seen. It was it might be the least scary movie I ever seen. Big I was it was like you know what it was like? It's like when you're your favorite sports team. You've you've been waiting for them to make the big game and then you go they made the big game and you're getting ready to watch it. Cause I w always wanted to watch some fucked up shit with you guys, and then they lay an egg in that game and you're like, fuck. And you turn the game off just after halftime. Horrible. Just fucking brutal. It took me four sittings of different time to get through the entire less than two hour movie because I just couldn't manage it. I couldn't manage it. I will say I have a suggestion for Nate of maybe a new dance move. And it's called the Leatherface Jiggle because he's he does a lot of this. He does a lot of shimmying. And I don't understand it. I don't understand the character of Leatherface. I don't the most I will say the part in the movie where they remove her friend's face and makes her wear it is so disgusting. It it's just so goofy. Like it's it's it's like it was almost hard to like there wasn't any part of me that's like, think how that would feel if it was real. It's like, no, that's this is so goofy. And she screamed too much. She screamed too much. That's why my name is Scream Queen. This is a Scream Queen, because she just screamed. And she kept saying, Help me, help me, to the people that were actively abusing traumatizing her. It it just had such it had it's it had all it had the chassis, it had the foundation of to make this a really cool movie with like Chop Top was a cool character, but why make him a hippie? Like I get why you make him hippie, but don't make make him scary. Like if you're gonna do scary, do scary. Don't do comedy and scary. It's very hard to do. And it makes and I like the Rob Zombie movies. It makes the Rob Zombie movies look like a high art cinema. I thought the exact same thing, Kate. I was like, he did su so much better job of this. Like Yes. I I don't think I've ever watched fully the Texas Chainsaw Basic the First Part. I might have watched the whole thing, but I've definitely seen like scenes from it that were so like they're like dripping with Fear. They're so scary because of the style too. That like sort of like real life gritty, like the camera is placed in like very strange places. And like at least from what I've seen, this movie, it's like they're not even trying. They're not tr even trying. There was like that scene when he's hitting him in the head with the hammer. It was like grade eight stage play hammer work. He's like you could just see him like pulling it back so that he's not hitting the guy on the head too hard. And same with Dennis Hopper and the chainsaws, where he's like, he looks scared to be holding the chainsaw. He's like leaning his body away as he like points the chainsaw at stuff. You're like, And he doesn't know how a chainsaw works. He was using it like a chop saw. Fucking he was like when he was testing. That's what I didn't understand. And the guy that owned the store was like, Yeah! He was laughing. The human reactions to that people were having were completely wrong. It was not Why would you pick chainsaws? Like you're in Texas. Go get a gun. I get it though. I get it. Like, fuck these guys. They've been using chainsaws. I'm gonna and he had three chains. And he got those last two out and was like chainsaw holsters. And then there was a chainsaw fight. I mean, if you're into chainsaws. Let's just call it a spade a spade. Leatherface is a terrible killer. Very bad. He's scary. He's scary looking at a good concept of a scary guy. But when it comes to performing He is a mu he's like what a magician does, where it's like fifteen minutes of flourishes and then the the action. Yeah. He's he's the three thousand dollar golf club guy shaken into the woods. He has all the tools, he looks like he's gonna fucking sh fuck shit up, but then all of a sudden he one girl turns it up, he gets horny and he can't kill her. And which is are we I'm how do I how do I put this? Is there an implication here that Leatherface has like Down syndrome? Is that the issue? He's obviously not intellectually average. He's like a lenny, a mice and men lenny. They make him wear people's faces and cut people. Yeah. He's and then he just does he like sticks his tongue out to show that he is aroused. This is not progressive, this movie. It paints him in a bad light for sure. I I have a bone to pick with the With the phone situation and cars in this movie. Okay, first of all, if you are a call in radio show and you can't hang up on someone, Nick and I were yelling that at the screen. We were like, the phone. If you're the competitor, if if you're like KO ninety six, you just call in. Yeah. And take the phone off the hook for the day. That's a really diabolical. You're right. Good point. Yeah, like fuck let's like it's a bad system for a call. And then the chili truck, he had the most futuristic phone ever in that truck. We need to talk about the chili. Yes. Probably good. I mean let's let's before I even knew anything, I saw the chili, I said, that's not chili. That was brown and looked like diarrhea. It was brown diarrhea. Let's let's be honest about chili. It looks like diarrhea. No, it doesn't. It is more it's red. There is red color in chili because of the chili powder and tomato. Okay, well he probably uses different spices and that's what probably gives him the winning edge. Let's think about chili's not the most you know, we're not have like look at the people that win chili cook offs. I never had a craving for chili in my life. I've never been like, you know I could go for right now? I like chili. Chili is changing. I love chili. I'll like I'll I'll eat it. I don't like to I don't like a bean heavy chili. Well then what you're kind of stuck, yeah. Yeah. Unless you're using like a meat alternative, I feel like you you certainly could. Like yeah, these dooms that He'd use the meat alternative. I mean, I just said I wasn't gonna eat animals. I know I don't you know, I never said anything about the humans. Here's the other thing such big chunks. Such big two big of chunks for a chili. They do everything bigger in fact. Stew is what he made. He made a fucking stew and won providing a stew. He made a stew. The guy's name was Stuart. He would have been called out if he made a stew. Those chili people, they take it seriously they have in their lives. No, I felt like that was rigged. I th thought the whole competition was rigged. They're like, Is this the win in Tech is the win in Chili from Arizona? Hell no, it's from Texas. We Okay, here's the other thing. What the woman said before she called his name, and I think he's kind of cute too. Yeah. What? And then out walks the ugliest fucking guy ever. Yeah. The whole system's fucked up in this movie. They just they don't take anything serious. listen Spices are made to to cover up a lot of sins in chili, and I think it's probably good. I mean, I I'm not saying I eat it and I'm sure. Well is not getting diarrhea from that. Did you see where they're cooking that chili? That is the most unsanitary because th that's what we d That was the most unsanitary that's like making chili inside of a meat packing plant with like eighties were no running water. Eighties were do you could eighties were a different time. You could mail in a coupon and get a football phone. A lot of shit happened in the eighties. It doesn't happen nowadays. Exactly. Okay. You could eat humans. And you know what? Those people that grew up on his chili that didn't know it was humans, they were probably disgusted. But I give it a couple of years, they have a hankering for that chili again. They're No, it'll be good right now. Once you get a taste. Straightens chili. And they're all like, What? I'm like, I'm not saying I want it. I'm just saying it would be good right now. Hit the spot right now. Two time winner back to back? I have something that might what what's the word? controversial. I have a controversial opinion that I'd like to share with you about this film. More controversial than Human Jilly might be good. Yes. We'll we'll see. Okay. No, not as controversial as that. But I think that they were really kind to their elderly grandfather. And not just You're right, Kate. I agree. They wanted they really wanted him to feel like a part of it. Yeah. They went out of their way to make him feel like he was a part of the whole thing. Kate, don't want to remind me of but how nice everybody was and they wanted him involved is when you were pregnant and you had to go to the theme park and they put you in a wheelchair. And they didn't put me in it. I chose it. Well, I'm just saying. It was a zoo, but it was the zoo. They put the hammer in your hand and close the fingers around the hammer. And they were like helping him hit the woman on the head. Yeah. And he was so excited to do it. I think he was a really appreciative of like participating. Yeah. They had reverence for him. They had reverence for their grandfather for sure. People a lot of there's a lot of murderers out there, a lot of famous murderers, and a lot of them just killed the people and went about their business. At least the Sawyers are like repurposing their kill. Using every part of the kill. Like a lot of hunters live by that motto. They seem to think of it as a business. They kept talking about like he taught us the business of killing people and making them into chili, like the family tray. Family business. Yeah, the family business. And then at the end we see the grandmother who has died, and they have created a shrine for her at the top of something, and she has a chainsaw. And so the chainsaw must be an integral part of it. Like they have Yeah, it's not just about the murdering, it's about the chainsawing. Like that's a very important part to this family is you gotta use the chainsaw. You need a calling card. Everyone needs a a thing. And like Michael Jordan with his with yeah, Michael Jordan had his tongue hanging out when he jam on you. Yeah. These people chainsaw. And that chainsaw starts coming, you who's coming. Yep. I also wanted to clarify what I was saying before. So Trap Top's brother died in the first film, and I can't think of his name. Hold on, let me so Chop Top, Leatherface, and the other guy died in the fur the other guy, the other brother died in the first film. And that's who Chop Top keeps around as like a puppet. His full body Chop Top and that brother are twins. So he keeps his twin around and then he puts his hand in his head and like uses it as a ventriloquist doll. Same as when like it's crazy eat the other swim in birth in like in the womb. And then at one point, Dennis Hopper sees his brother or one of his relatives that was killed in the first film. it was the disabled the Maybe it's his niece and nephew or something like that. I can't remember exactly the family relation, but the nephew was pair So in the first one, one of the gu one of the characters is his nephew that is in a wheelchair. And that's how we know he was like, What my god, there you are. And then he like turns the flashlight on. Like, Dennis Hopper I don't know if he's a good actor. He certainly wasn't a good actor in this film. No, this felt very much like his career was falling apart and they're like, You have to work. You got an ex-wife or something that there's bills that need to be paid. So get your ass to Texas Chainsaw Mask and Jew. Because he's barely in the movie, too. He's like he shows up for one scene, disappears for like 45 minutes, 50 minutes, then shows up again at the end with the chainsaws. They're gonna they're gonna pay you mostly in cigarettes and tequila. Like it's just Most of his scene is just walking around this like abandoned fair ground, chopping beams, just going. Bring it all down. Bring it all like he says it like twenty times as he chops wood. It's like this is a very strange choice. And it's not even camp. Like it's all elo like I don't know. Like there's a way to do it. I don't know. I don't think they knew what they were doing. The tone is so. We're at the point like the discussion of this movie where I compare s the the twins as one eating the other like him using his brother as a puppet. I compared it to using or one fetus eating the other fetus in birth and nobody made a noise, nobody said no or said that's stupid. Both of you guys went like this. Yeah, I mean both both Nate and Kate nodded to that statement and that's what made me laugh. I did laugh out loud at two parts, two of my favorite lines in the movie. the very start where the young frat guys are getting chainsawed to death by chainsaw guy, what's Leatherface? their introduction to Leatherface is Leatherface with a dead body on his head, wielding a chainsaw and yelling at them in a speeding truck. And the driver says, What's that? And the guy at the dinosaur sunglasses says, It's some kind of geek. Yeah, I did like I did like that. And then my second line is when Stretch first met Dennis Hopper in the hotel room, doesn't know him from a hole in the wall, barely knows, just maybe said six sentences to each other. She yelled to him, You can't do this alone. Like like his the one thing missing in his investigation is a part-time radio DJ. You make a you bring up the the there's a car chase, or it's not even a car chase. So Their truck that Chop Top and Leatherface are in is driving backwards while the sports car is driving forwards. And the entire time they're going the same miles per hour. Yeah. And the boy who is being attacked by a chainsaw doesn't even consider maybe using the brakes. Didn't tap it once not a single tap. It's also very funny because it's like that scene takes so long, but the Bridge isn't that long, so it just feels like the longest bridge in the world. Yes, what's going on here? That's what I was my god. He had so many options. He could either hit the brake, side swipe them, or went faster. Because trucks don't go that fast in reverse. But anyway, we digress. Can we talk about how abrupt the ending is? I was like, I was like, it was so shocking when the movie ended. I was like, What? It just like it it is like we had some realization, like we gotta get Fuck out of here. The end. Like it was almost refreshing though too. I was like, okay, good. Like thank you. Thanks. Finally. Alright, so now that we talked about all the great parts, you guys ready to do the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Seven? Yes. Yes. Going Kate first, Nate second. My favorite character, Chop Top, has a metal plate in his head. Which quadrant of his dome is the plate in? Back left, back right, front right, front left. His his left or right, correct? His left or right. Okay. My turn. Yeah. It's on the right side. Front or back? I'm gonna say front, and if I'm wrong, I'm gonna argue. I'm gonna say back. He was taking that coat hanger back. He was taking it to the back right quadrant. Yes. quadrant was a big part of that question. Probably the key part of that question. And Nate is correct. The disdain on Kate's face. Because you can see it when he's looking at you. So how could you say that is a back quadrant when when he's looking at you, you can see it? I don't know how to argue with the Yeah, there's no answer to that. Whatever. Question number two. Whatever. Question number two. It's very clearly back right. Anyway, question number two. Speaking of Chop Top, he has some little fancy sunglasses with some shaded lenses. What color are the lenses? Were they blue, red, purple, or green? That's a good question. I would have said yellow. So I'm gonna go green. I'm gonna go red. Much like Prince appears Choptop's favorite color is purple. purple. That's a point for the old quizmaster, the old QN. Gone forever. Dalton the Cook, Sawyer. He was the two-time chili cook-off champion. Two-time, two years in a row. What years did he win it? 85 86 84 85 83 84 86 87 I'm gonna go with 83 84. 84 85. That's another point for the QM. He won it in 85 86. Gone forever. They really turned this movie out fast because it was released in 86, so they really turned it out. I know, that's why I said it's a good question. That's why I knew it was a good question. Alright, let's not get too excited here. the radio station that our friend stretch worked at, what was the name of it? Was it K O K L A? K O T X K O K A or K T E X? K O K L A. Yes, I agree. K O K L A is correct, which was weird because this was a Texas station, but that's an Oklahoma thing. I thought I was I thought it looked like koala. That's why I remembered. Very perceptive about you guys. Good job, guys. I didn't like that they didn't have a W. I feel like all radio stations have a W in their names. W K R P in Cincinnati. Maybe the K means something. We should look into that if we were a good show. Killer. I like it. That's it. But don't you find it weird that's OK LA? Like Oklahoma? Yeah. Oklahoma's above Texas. Yeah. Our friends from our old friend from Twitter, Brace, he lives in he l lives in Texas, but he just moved from a different part of Texas. But the part he lived in Texas was so up north, it was almost in Oklahoma. And I said that he was I tell him all the time he's closer, he's more Oklahoma than he's Texas. And he'd say why. And I say, because you're closer to Oklahoma than you are to Texas. He's like, but I'm in Texas. Yep. Like that doesn't make sense. It does actually make perfect sense. Yeah. We're not gonna lie to you. Because he's in Texas. It's like living in water and being like, you're basically in air. The little no, but I live in the little bugs that live in the water just on the shore, they live on the shore. Okay, so like there's nothing you can do today, Brent, that's gonna be right with me. I feel so much agitation and anger because of the that first question. Yeah. like that has set the tone. Just take a look. Just take a look. speaking of two time chili cook off champion, the cook, he won the trophy. The trophy was a little chili pot on top of it. Which this is which direction was the handle facing? Sorry, Kate, another quadrant question. Was it front, back, left, or right? His front, back, left, or right. So he's standing next to it. He's got it up in front of him. It's a little pot up top and there's a handle on it. Is the handle hanging over the front? Hanging over the back, hanging over to his left or hanging over to his right? Is it my turn or Nate's turn? that would be your turn. your turn. Well Reasonably it would be No, I think it's to his left. But I also want to say it's to the front. You know what? I have nothing to lose. It's to the front. To the right. Well, I hope that sustain and agitation wears off because it's to the front. my god. She's back. Good job, Kate. She's tied it. Three way tied it. Because I remember when the diarrhea came off the front of it, it was like Obstructed and it was gurgling over a handle, it was burbling like a waterfall over a handle. So gross. It wasn't diarrhea. It was chili with human meat in it. Looked horrific. That was the scariest part of the movie. That chili was the scariest part of the damn movie. Imagine eating that chili. You think it would taste good? I don't. We talked about this in the show. It it's delicious. We are in the show. We're currently in the show. Stretch goes to visit Lefty at his hotel room to tell him that you can't do it alone. You need my help. And he doesn't want her help. He's sitting there like an old grizzled cop would do. He's sitting there drinking. What's he drinking? What's he drinking? Is he drinking whiskey? Is he on the beers? Is he drinking some vodka? Or is he drinking tequila? What's friend Lefty doing? I think he's drinking beers. I think he's drinking burst too. You think he's on the beers? Yeah. our man Lefty's not a beer drinker. That man's a hard liquor drinker. And unlike this show, it's not. It's not the brown liquor. It is two worm tequila. Gone forever. That's it. I remember that now. Well, you you you named three out of the four. Well, I now that I know the correct answer, I remember it. Yeah. Do we have a score update going into the Brent has three, Nate has two, Kate has two. Brent is in the leader. This is the closest two. There's two questions left? No, one question left. Okay. No, this is not a closest two, sorry. if I wanted to buy Rick the Prick's reptilian sunglasses for my Halloween costume this year, how much would it put me back? Would it put me back fifteen, sixteen? Seven no, sorry, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen or nineteen dollars. Where are you buying them? From a reputable website. What's the website address? It's a website that sells Halloween accessories. Don't put your phone down, you fancy handle. Okay, is it my turn? yeah. I'm going to 18. Inflation nineteen. That's correct. It's nineteen dollars from Rick Rick's reptilian glasses. We have a tie now. Kate, you have to come up with a question for Nate and I. Okay, I don't like that those glasses cost $19. I know. shot. He bought them for a dollar back then. A hundred. That's for sure. Well that he put them on the map. Him and that poker player. Okay. Because it's Halloween time. Mm-hmm. There's evidence by the year 800, churches in Ireland and Northumbria were holding a feast commemorating all saints. On this day. So this date. By the year 800, all the churches in Ireland and Northumbria were holding a feast to commemorate All Saints' Day. Okay. So what date? Can I can I say it? Okay. October 30th. Okay. October twenty-eighth. Correct answer is November 1st. Thank you. Because it all hollows Eve. Eve. Yep. So then they would do it the day before. So are we giving that to Brent? Yep. Yeah, but he was closer. I was further away. Okay. Congratulations, Brent. You have won the quiz. That's a Texas chainsaw. Ring ringing for you. It was destined that I win the worst movie quiz. Yeah, it was. It was destined. you can either have constructive criticism, a compliment, or your name spelled. What would you like? I would love to hear some constructive criticism. Okay. No. Are you serious? Yes. Okay. Okay. Nate, you do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first? If you're ready, you go first. I gotta think I gotta think. Well, I'm gonna tie in my compliment with constructive criticism. Okay. Brent, you have a hard life in regards to your physical health. You have physical pain and you have wonderful ideas and you get excited about them. Yeah. And I love that. And I love that you can balance optimism with the reality of your situation. Mm-hmm. And my constructive criticism would be to try to hold yourself more accountable because your ideas are so good. Yes. I understand. And that is very true of me. I get excited and then I lose that excitement. The ideas go to the wayside. You're very correct. Thank you for that, Catherine. That shows me that you're a true observant friend. my constructive criticism for you is you must control the hounds. the hounds are running the house right now, and you gotta control those hounds. you're the hound master. Not the I know. I have zero control over the hounds. You're very correct about that. That's very true. It's it's I saw I watched a man yesterday stand in the field by my house with a little he had a little treat holder on his belt and that dog did everything that man asked. And I spent I spent the weekend telling Melissa that Eddie was sick, he has a cold, and I was soaking him extra the whole weekend. It was bad. But you're right, you're both correct. I enjoy the constructive criticism segment and I will may will dip my toe into it sometime in the future again. Thank you. Well, congratulations on the win. And thank you. I give you both a gold medal for that quiz. Would you guys like to give some medals to the actors in this film? So many. This is gonna be like picking turds out of the toilet. Well, I have a definite gold medal and then everybody else is I don't know what the fight, I'll start. I'll go with Jim Saidal, who played Drayton Sawyer, the chili cook, the cook. he you know what? He found a way to win. And he got the upper hand, and family is family, and he ever it was a family operation, the chili cook-off. He had a fucking pimped out Chili Cook off van, which you don't see a lot, the truck. so good for him. I guess I'll give my bronze to Bill Mosley, who played Chop Chop, who attended Yale University. wow. So you too can star in movies such as this if you go to Yale. I'm gonna go with Sprint on this one. I'll go with Jim Sideout. He's like really hor horrifying and kind of bugs bunny fucking over the top. He's really but he has all the best lines. Yeah, I'm gonna give him my bronze medal. Alright. Good choice. Venita Stretch, Caroline Williams. She gets my silver medal. she was good. I mean she screamed a lot, but she survived. She had nice outfit. She she was fine. She was in the Grinch, how the Grinch stole Christmas. The Jim Carrey. As what? As what? Must have been some sort of who. I would assume. Tiny Who Woman. That's what it says. She was a tiny who woman. Well, I'm no wow, I bet I bet she had an i she has an in with all the special effects people from all these movies. And they were on that movie and they're like, Come along to work with me today. We'll find something for you. Sure. I like that story. Who gets your bra silver, Kate? Jim Siddell, the the cook, the Drayton sour sour sawyer. Sawyer. Sawyer. Thank you. Sawyer. See? I I like the way she Kate says it because it says like I'm gonna saw your head off. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I'm giving mine to Bill Mosley and he was in those Rob Zombie movies. Did you know that? I very much so not. I'm I didn't know he's like Bill or something in those movies. Like he's like the main guy. he has long hair though. That's why I didn't recognize him. Yeah. But that's that's kind of fun. That is I thought he was good in this movie, actually. I thought like he the they don't They didn't give him a lot of good lines, like the story so bad, but his performance is like very like weird and strange and interesting. So I'll give him my silver. What's his name in those movies? I'm just everybody calm down. I'm gonna talk about him in my goals. Okay. Well it's now's the time. Gold medal. It's going out to Bill Mosley, the king of horror. Let's put some respect on the man's name. Let's he's Otis B. Driftwood. He's member of the Firefly trilogy, along with Sherry and the late Captain Spaulding. Excellent, excellent movies. I know my man Nick agrees with me when he talks about we talk about the Rob Zombie movies. Otis B. Driftwood is a great character. Bill Mosley. He got to play Choptop. He did a great job as Chop Dop. Fun character. Dog shit movie. But Otis B. Driftwood gold medal. My gold pose shoe Bill Johnson, Bob Elmore, or Tom Morga as Leatherface? Whoever played Leatherface. Whoever shucked their whoever shuck shook the middle of their gut. He did so much acting and like, what are you doing? I don't know, but I wanna give it a gold medal. Sure. Sure. Less is more, I feel like if you're a leather face. That's what I would have said. Just the direct area. I don't need the whole like He did the dance in the Goonies on top of the truck. Mm-hmm. The Truffle Shuffle. Yeah. I'm giving mine to Carolyn Williams. I thought she is the only one who's doing acting in this movie, in a way. I also thought she was very beautiful and she w Wore the hell out of those jeans shorts. And she did lots of good screams. And she looked very scared. Leatherfa. So the third installment is Leatherface, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. And let's see who plays Leatherface. Or a different guy. So it's not even the same. Like. Yeah. They have made a lot of these movies, if you like. There's at least I can count them for three, four, five, six, seven, eight. At least eight Texas Chainsaw massacres. That's too many. I think I think we got it, guys. I think we got it. I think we've done what we're gonna do. So and there's a new one coming. Great. Who is the guy who made Obsession is writing it? The kid, the 27. okay. He'll he the he he he'll he'll probably do something interesting. Mm-hmm. while I give you both a 10 out of 10 for your excellent medals. Would you like to give this movie a rating? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's rate the stinker. The script for this movie. It's terrible. I it's worse than bean. Bean has laughs. Bean has pathos. Bean has family at heart. This movie This movie gets a f it it gets a four. It gets the script gets a four. It's it's a bad movie, and the worst part of the movie is the script. It gets a four. Is it a bad script? Yeah. Yeah. It's very light. Like there's I don't yeah, I didn't like it. I'm only giving it a five because of the chili cook off aspect of it. Sure. This movie has some of the best ideas. A guy with the plate in his head that scratches it with a hot coat hanger. Okay, that's good. And then eats it. Yeah. Yeah, it eats it. Humans in the chili. Leatherface is just iconic by himself. Three. I don't know how you fuck that up. Yeah, how do you do it? Someone came to if I'm a movie guy, if someone comes to me and say, here's my three main f ideas for one movie, I'll be here is fucking fifty million dollars. Go shoot it right now. Don't fuck it up. They had seven million in nineteen eighty five. That Which is basically probably fifty million now. Yeah. They spent it they spent it all on fucking Shangzah's. On lamps in that they get there's too many lamps in the Pit. I don't know how you fuck those those y you have three of those concepts and you fuck it up. Three. It's like so interesting. Actually, I'll say this in the next category. The next category is art direction. The sets, the props, the costumes. The way this movie is shot, it's like they have chairs that are made out of skeletons. Should be one of the most disgusting and terrifying things you could ever see in your life. And it feels like walking through Spirit Halloween. It's like They it's like they had too many lights on or some shit. It's like turn the lights off in here. I can see how shitty everything looks. Like, what the fuck are you doing? That guy I can see that guy holding a string. Yeah. Nothing has any weight to it. They keep bumping into the set and the whole set moves, it feels like. Like this gets I don't know, four. It gets is it looks like sh it looks like shit. I agree. And I don't like that the dead bodies like there were dead bodies that were not decaying that had been I don't I just the science doesn't hold up for me. I'm gonna give it a four-two. There was one part where he like cuts open the wall and then a bunch of meat just slides out of it. But the best part is there's like a gap. It's like it slides out and then there's a like a little pause and then more slides out like they were pouring two different buckets. my god. It was very clearly old chicken breasts, that meat. I can spot the chicken breasts. I shouldn't be able to spot that's chicken breasts, and you can tell some guy was just a Behind the pouring it from a bucket. Again, I I go back to all these cool concepts they had. The futuristic carophone in the chili truck, the brown chili cate's right about the color of the chili. It's way off. That's simple stuff. That's that's day one stuff you gotta nail. Color of the chili. Get a chili expert on the set. Come on. Don't eat just you just gotta look up a picture of chili and you're fine. I'm gonna stick with my three. Would you give it Kate? A four. it's gonna make a run for it. This is gonna make a run for it. the music in this movie sucks so fucking bad, man. It's it's like it's not even hard to make scary music because, like, and I'm like so susceptible to it too. Like, if you do a weird, eerie sound, if you do a like something a little spooky, that's all I need to feel scared. Is like I like when I was a kid. There was like some Mozart songs that were too scary for me. That's how easy it is to scare me with music. This music is like on a keyboard like it sucks so bad, man. It's horrible. I thought there was one moment was like it's gonna get good when Dennis Hopper first hops into the pit and he's got all his chainsaws and these drums start. I'm like, okay. Like maybe we're about to do something. It was just drums for 10 seconds, and then it goes back to this gets two. It's horrible. It sucks. It sounded like if we if you can remember the Princess Bride where there's the sword fight at the top of the mo the s it's that kind of music. So that's extremely good poll. Eighties like weird like I'm not like we got no money, get the synthesizer. It was like the eighties bad budget. I'm in a Casio keyboard. Exactly. What'd you give it a four? She gave it a four. You gave it a four. Okay. you're kind of hemmed in when you make a scary movie. You have to make scary movie songs and scary movie noises. but they tried to do a comedy, so that just opens it up to you can do fun songs, and they chose neither. Big whiffs, whiffs all around. She works at a radio station, a rock radio station. And they played shitty rock songs. And I was hoping the guy, and just for the fact that you can't hang up on the Colin show, music Colin show, that seven or three, sorry, three. This is a black comedy slasher. It's gotta be a black comedy and a slasher. I mean, it is a slasher. It's dark like the black comedy exists. It's not that it's like not present, it's just it it's it strays into goofy. It strays into goofy. And as a slasher movie, like I said, they're not everybody's like doing pulling their punches and like pretending to hit it like a s like a little kid stage play level of slashing. It's a mess. Three. Yeah, so like in this you would think of like scary movie or like American Psycho is a black comedy slasher. You know, there's like you can do this. This is Scream for sure. Yeah, this gets this gets a three. Yeah. yeah, we talked you guys just mentioned movies that did it. they tried to do it and the parasite laughed out loud. Funny, we're not meant to be funny with some kind of geek and you can't do this alone. That's just bad rating. Didn't have wasn't part of trying to be Comedy. When you think of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you think of Leatherface and a big scary guy. You should be scared. This dismissed the whole fucking mark with that. Three. The theme for this month. It's October. It's the the the P word for October, not pumpkins, psychological thrillers. As far as if you were not pumpkin psychological thrillers, what would you guys rate this film? So I feel like I was psychologically harmed having to it was a thrilling psychological event for me to have to watch this. but this film is a zero psychological firmware. Zero in NAFMC history. the most thrilling part of my psyche when I watched this movie was pressing pause and seeing I had seven minutes left. That was thrilling. I was like, Okay, this is almost over. I've been consistent with my three because my th the three cool concepts they had, so I'll stick with three. The radio DJ i experiences some psychological trauma from a guy with a chainsaw and a guy with a plate in his head being scary in the station. She sees her friend get his face chopped off. That was psychologically traumatizing. Three. That's that's it's just as far as it gets. They'll never do it again, guys. We'll never get here again. This movie ge do you guys wanna guess what this movie got? No. I don't want to overshoot it. I want to be surprised. This movie got a 15.7. A 15.7. Woohoo! Quite possibly the worst movie I've ever watched in my entire life. It deserved it. I would rather watch Bean a hundred times in a row than this one. It's like literally ha almost half of what Bean got. Half a bean. You got a half a bean? Half a bean. Half a bean, bro. And the problem is, like. The problem is these people that were in this movie still go to Comic Con inventions and I'm sure people love this movie. There has to be a cult following or something. That's my point. Comic Con nerds are if there are any Comic Con nerds that listen to the show. Shots fired. Yeah, shots fired, and they're gonna like this is not everything has to be and they're gonna shit on us and say that. That's why you're a Comic Con nerd. I'm sorry, but this movie was made for you. And congratulations that you love it and that's great and it's perfect. But as a professional movie reviewer podcast, we have to have some fucking standard bonus. Yeah. Standards. We have to stand on what we say. We say we're the best movie podcasts. Yep. And if this movie gets a half a bean, this movie gets half a bean. That's right. I was more scared by Ernest Scared Stupid. I thought that during watching this, I was like, I was way more scared. Earth A Kit was way scarier than Leatherface in that movie. Yeah, I would have been more terrified. I'll go to say that even though I posted a picture to you guys in the group and no one responded to it, Garfield and Odie and the Garfield Halloween special, that scared the shit out of as a kid. Scarier than this. That's scarier than this. So I don't want to hear from anybody. 'Cause you want the full Brent, you'll get the full Brent in the reply. That's right. And things will be say that once the cat's out of the bag, the cat's out of the bag. I'm into it. That being said, that being said, last week I mentioned how you guys should definitely leave a review and tell your friends about the show, Comic Con Nerds that does involve you. Yeah, talk tell us talk about us at the Comic Con. Give us a review, tell your friends, hit all our socials, North American Friends Movie Club, you'll find it them somewhere. Right the hell out of it. well, I give you both a ten out of ten for your ratings. And like you said, it's the best movie podcast that has ever been made and will ever be made. A hundred percent. You'll never tell me different. Yeah. And next week, there's still one more Thursday in October. We have a very special surprise episode. A surprise? So You guys are gonna love it. You're gonna be. So surprised when you figure out what's happening next week. And that means all that's left to do is say goodnight, Kate. Good night, Kate. Good night, Kate.