Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Kindness Can Save Lives

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Kindness Can Save Lives · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete: Hello, welcome into another exciting episode of Pete for Excited. Before we get started, as always, let's give a shout-out to my partners over PsychPal. link will be in the description, as always, guys. You know, you get 20% off if you speed at checkout. you know, go check them out. Really great. We are moving to the Google and Apple store as well, guys. So I'll keep you posting that. With that being said, my guest today is a two-time author, podcast host, psychology graduate, and mental health and chronic chronic illness advocate. She's almost 20 years old, but she is also pursuing her master's in psychology. And she is the host of Take Care of Your Body by Rye. The one, the only Rye is here. Rye, how are you doing today? ry: I'm good. I am so sorry for that laundry list of titles behind my name. Pete: That's listen, there's there's been more, trust me. There's people to have longer ones. I'm just like keep going and like, you know, But but right, it listen listen, I think it's amazing, like we were just talking about that you're almost twenty years old, but you've achieved so much. You're a two time author, podcast host, you're you've already graduated psychology. I know you said you graduated high school at fifteen. Like, ry: I did. Pete: like is this always been a passion of yours? I mean, for you to be fifteen in your graduate high school and then you decide to get in psychology, is it something you've always wanted to do? ry: I think life kind of wrote a lot of this for me. I mean, graduating high school at fifteen, obviously I had the ability to do so, but I struggled Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: really bad with chronic asthma and here in Florida where I live, mold and mildew is abundantly present. So as a kid I was really, really sick. going to school. I was on a lot of medication and when COVID hit I decided like I didn't want that path for myself. I decided that I wanted to pursue online learning and really, you know. get get on my academic grind and I by the time on person in person learning happened I was fifteen and I was a senior and I also was a yoga instructor and I was really into health and wellness and I was like Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: I have this whole business plan ready for me. I'm gonna graduate and I'm gonna do this and I I girl bossed. So I'm I'm really really grateful for everything. a lot of this path has become circumstantial, like stuff that I've struggled and instead of like sitting on the floor, eating ice cream, crying about it, I've turned it into something that can help other people feel less alone. And I'm really, really grateful for it. And I think that's what makes me so authentic and relatable. Pete: Yeah, yeah. But it's amazing though. So why psychology though? Psychology always been something you're fascinated by? ry: Well, actually I wanted to be a registered dietitian and but the Pete: okay. ry: time about the time that I really was like, okay, it's time to like figure out what I want to do my master's in, I realized how much math that required and I was like, That's not me. No thank you. Pete: Yeah, no, I agree. ry: so I've always loved mental health and wellness. Obviously, like I struggled really bad with anxiety as a kid. What teenager doesn't, right? If you don't Pete: Yeah. ry: have You're lying. especially in the world we live in. So I was like, you know what? I think I'm very empathetic by nature. I love conversations. Thank God for my podcast. It kind of really showed me that side of myself. And I was like, Pete: Yeah. ry: you know what, that's like a natural aspect of my personality. And every single day as I've studied psychology and as I've done this whole career, I've never thought once like I'm gonna be a horrible psychologist. I've thought I'm gonna be an amazing psychologist. And I can't say I didn't think that when I was pursuing the registered dietitian route. So I'm really grateful for it. And I think this is really what I was passionate and meant to do with my life. Pete: So let's talk about the two books, okay. So wha what are the books titles? Give us a little taste for what they are. ry: So my first one is called Once Upon a Time, I Survived Myself. And that Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: one is a poetic memoir written about my life for anyone who's been through anything hard. I talk a lot about chronic illness, heartbreak, self-identity struggles, mental health, really all these things any human being is gonna, you know, go through throughout whatever time of life Pete: Yeah. ry: they're on. and that one that one kind of was in the works for years. Obviously it's Written about 18 years of my life. I've been through a lot and I decided like I want to write this book to make people feel less alone. And it has done that and it still does that, which that's like so fulfilling as an author. I I see people tag me in like highlighted pages of my book. I'm like, holy crap, I wrote that and it's helping someone feel less Pete: Yeah. ry: alone in this horrible time of their life. so that book is it's it's personal and I love it. But my second Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: book Is called Everything Was Here But You. And this one is a little different. It talks about love, loss, grief, and this weird feeling of I'm building this beautiful life. Why do I feel alone in it? And Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: that one's really relatable for me. Like I still relate to it. I probably always will. I mean, unlike my first book, it's like, hey, here's 18 years of Ryland's trauma. Pack it up. Like I'm never gonna relate to that one in that entire way. Again, everything was here but you is like something that I probably will always relate to because when you're building something so big and beautiful, you're often gonna feel like, Why do I feel like I could do more? You know, that's a human feeling. So I love that book so much and that one has related to people in such a different way because it's a lot of relational poems and, you know, circumstances where it's like life goes on a different path than what you expected and I I love that book so much. It's my favorite one. Pete: Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna have to check it out though for sure. The the eighteen year old I ry: Thank you. Pete: don't know. I may have to check 'cause I'm always curious about people's stories of their life. Cause you know, 'cause I've always been a curious person. When I started the show originally, you know, I I had no idea this thing was gonna go where it went, you know, like I had an idea, ry: Wow, yeah. Pete: I started it, the first day I posted about it, I had 150 responses of people just wanting to talk about this conversation, you know, it's all because I did a men's mental health episode with another podcast I was doing. and it kind of just shocked me because where my age range is, I'm I'm close to four I'm 41 now. But when I did this, I was 39. I was ry: He only look like you're twenty six, excuse me. Pete: that's what a lot of people tell me. I think it's hilarious. It makes me laugh when people say I'm younger, but I'm like, no, but I'm an old guy. But ry: Hey. Pete: yeah. but you know, it was just like you didn't realize how powerful a conversation is until now two years, almost two years later. Now I've had God, I don't even remember. I've had so many different people on this show. You know, that have had so many accolades that are just it's and I keep it casual for that reason though, because you get the best side of people when you just have a casual conversation. Like these guys do interviews all day and they get drilled all day. But I'm like, where are the people just having a conversation? You know, you have doctors respectfully had their podcasts and things, you know. But then I when I came with this concept, a lot of people at first kind of like, you know, you saw the listenership go up a little by little. Now I've hit forty K downloads, it's like I've only been doing it two years and it's just like I'm like, wow, you know, like people really are buying like really like what I'm doing. And then this other guy I told about it, he was all about it. He's Really? You have a podcast? You know, and things like that. I tell you all the time I have a podcast. My own boss told me I'm not allowed to quit my job if this takes off another. So Right, there you go. Right. So ry: I mean, just just have him be your co host, you know what I mean? Like, come on, that's why. Pete: I said, listen, I said I was gonna take the whole team with me. I said we all could just quit together and y'all come work for me. But ry: Yeah, but yeah. Pete: So question though about your podcast. When you started it, what was that moment where you're like, you know what? I want to do a podcast. Because a lot of people I walk talk to these days are like, well, man, I think about starting a podcast. I always encourage them to do it. I'm like, go for it. Why not? You have your own authentic voice. So how did yours start? ry: So you're gonna laugh because the person that I is sitting here in like you're interviewing right now, like I used to not be this way. I was so quiet in school. I Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: never would raise my hand. I was not a conversationalist. Like you would be lucky if you got like five words out of my mouth. I was so shy and quiet. I had a high school journalism teacher in that in that one year of high school who really I think implemented and shaped me as the writer and you know journalist girl that I am Pete: Yeah. ry: today. I would not be who I am without her. She sat me down and was like, you need to start a podcast. You have so many things that you've been through and ideas that you have that people could relate to, especially this young generation. And I laughed and I was like, absolutely Pete: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. ry: not. but through my own journey of struggling with POTS, which is a cr a chronic illness, I'm not sure if you're familiar with it. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yep. ry: for anyone who doesn't know, it stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. So essentially my autonomic nervous system, which runs basic functions in your body, you don't have to think about doing, glitches and causes me to feel like crap sometimes and have to take a bunch of salt, wear compression pants. Hydrate, you know, it's it's a whole Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: lovely thing. But I was struggling with that and getting a diagnosis, and I was really, really upset. I was crying. I left a doctor's appointment in tears. I had a doctor tell me it was all in my head, it was just anxiety, and I said, Absolutely not. I'm crying. I have this, it I had a sweatshirt on that said, take care of your body. And I was like, bye Rye, here we go. I'm gonna record it right now in my car. crying and I did not think it was gonna become what it became. I literally thought if you listen to my first episode, I'm like my mom and the dogs are gonna listen, that's all, no one's gonna care. And people Right. Right. Pete: Yeah, see that's the same thing I thought too. I was like, Who's gonna listen to this crap? We'll sign out, you know? But yeah. ry: And people started relating to it and that journalism teacher actually passed away due to mental health struggles and I did it in her honor and I'm forever grateful that I started this podcast. It's changed my life. Pete: Yeah. ry: Honestly, I would not be this version of me without it. I'm such a little chatterbox. I'm a walking podcast. I'm like, what do you mean? I used to not to not talk and I don't shut Pete: Exactly. ry: up. but I'm really grateful for it 'cause it gives you this opportunity to connect with so many different people and, you know, put words to feelings that they might not know themselves. And I think that's what I love about podcast and writing. It's You know, you take your experience, you share it, and then suddenly someone sees their own in whatever experience you're sharing. And I think it's really beautiful. Pete: Yeah, I think it's amazing. I think it's really been fun. ry: Thank you. Pete: I like I said, I encourage people. I've encouraged two shows actually ry: Great. Pete: to do it. Two people reached out to me, said they one was inspired by me, said she does it, because one called Wanda Wonders. she she ry: Yeah. Pete: kind of done it on and off a little bit, but she struggles with BPD. So a little bit different for her, you know, ry: Yeah. Pete: and things like that. And then another one called Looking Through the Glass. They just hit 15,000 downloads. So congratulations to them. we just filmed the two year anniversary episode ry: Yeah. Woo! Pete: of the show. suicide awareness between we had a bunch of different shows get together, two of them which are my mentores, that I've that got into the game because of me. One of them actually she I told her I was gonna interview. She's send her all my way. I'm like, Yes, Maren, I'll send her your way. Yep. You know what I'm saying? Like ry: there's there's enough Rylin to go around, I promise. Like sometimes I'm like that's a little too that's a little too much Ryland, but you guys can have her. Like we'll we'll we'll split me up. Pete: You you know what I'm saying? Like in the first year of this show, right, I got someone mentioned my podcast name. It was on a show called Mentally Mentally a Badass. the young lady that ry: I Pete: runs that show, Justine, she's amazing. She and another friend of mine who runs a podcast called Emotionally Unavailable were talking, and she asked her, Do you know Pete for Sanxiety? And then the other girl, the other woman's like, yeah, I Pete. I was like, wait, they're talking about me. What? And like this was in like the first six months of the show. You know what I'm saying? The first six months of the show, I mentioned it. ry: Go sign some autographs, Pete. Come on. Yeah, go sign some autographs. Pete: Ha ha. ry: No, and I think it's crazy because it's like suddenly it's like you're getting emails and you're getting reached by people Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: PR agents, whoever it might be, and you're like, Holy crap, how do you how do you find me in the podcast world is just insane. Like suddenly Pete: Exactly. ry: you're on all these platforms and you're like, I didn't sign up for, you know, my show to be on this one and this one, but it's it's crazy. You reach people that like you would have never been able to connect on your own and it's it's insane. But congratulations Pete: It is. ry: on the show and what you're building here. I, you know, before we hit record, I really, I really share this with you. But I think the younger generation especially really needs what you're building. And what Pete: Yeah. ry: I love about your show, it's like, yeah, you have these doctors and you know, really respected people on, and maybe that's intimidating, but you listen to the episode and it's a normal conversation. And then, you know, if you're really listening, you're like, holy crap, that answers the question that I've been thinking or the experience. Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: I've been going through and we really need more of that. This like less pressured way to think about your own mental health and your own struggles. So thank you for Pete: Yeah. ry: what you're doing, Pete. Pete: I appreciate it so much. Thanks, Rai. I pr especially somebody with with such a massive download base. Like for all you don't know that Rye has five million downloads, but she's the she like you know ry: Can I hide? Pete: saying, like I was shocked when I read that. I was like, five million. I'm like, holy you you'd be you're the you're the ry: I'm shot, I'm shot when I saw Pete: biggest person on the show, but it's always really cool to get people that are in that range, though, because then you get ry: Yeah. Pete: to see how real of a person they are, though. Like you're this ry: What is that? Pete: same authentic person you're seeing in these videos because me and Rye met through one of her posts she was doing for Suicide Awareness Month. I loved it. I posted it and Rai reached out and then we got in this conversation and I didn't know any of this before I even booked her to come on the show. And then she lays that out I'm like, well that's an interesting turn of events right there. ry: You're like, I didn't realize young Sheldon looking like Barbie was gonna come on my pod. Okay. Pete: You know what? I was gonna say young Sheldon for sure because of the how fast you're you're working through things. You're learning on a masters now and you know, and that's that's awesome. It's great. Plus plus we get that fresh perspective of people in the eighteen range of what what you guys are thinking about these things. Because with mental health you have the internet and we didn't have the internet back then. Mind you, we I grew up in the nineties, so we didn't have the internet was still something new. AOL was your only access literally to the internet at that point. You didn't have Facebook, you know ry: I love that movie. You got mail. That's like such a good movie. Pete: You know what I'm saying? Like you got you don't got anything else of that sort. Now versus where you guys are now, you have Snapchat and everything else you can list. you know, it's it's harder for y'all because you know, a lot of parents report that 45% of parents actually say that the internet is very negative for for people to have young people have social media, but we still let them get on it. TikTok, all these other things, you know, and like don't get me wrong, I'm not demonizing TikTok. I love TikTok. You meet great people. You know, anywhere you go, you meet great people, but it's like it's it's so hard for you guys because there's a lot of things juggling. And now that we know more about mental health than we did before, you know, anxiety is coming up an awful lot for people because a lot of us deal with that every day. You know, it's like a lot of people say, I have anxiety, you know, and they're not wrong. They're really not wrong because that's a lot of people what they get diagnosed with. ry: Right. No, I'm like, can we please just like write each other letters and like, you know, be normal? Like I can we Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: delete social media. It's gotten to this point with like AI and you know, editing Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: people's faces and bodies like social media. I just was doing a podcast actually with the plastic surgeon and I was talking to him about this, like it's insane. I I read all these articles and it's like This amount of teens hate the way they look and I'm like, they're beautiful, but I understand why 'cause you go on Instagram and you see these, you know, influencers or you even see your friends when you see these like Pete: Exactly. ry: highlighted reels of their life and you think that's reality 'cause they're, you know, using AI or using Airbrush or using whatever. tool now to make their life look perfect. And they're spending five minutes putting the boat picture and the, you know, grocery picture with their friends and the movies and the whatever, but you don't see them crying upset at grandpa's funeral, the horrible moments. And I'm like, of course I understand why we all hate ourselves and, you know, think we're the Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: person ever. I mean it's kinda hard not to, but it's insane. We need more awareness. We need more shows like this and we need more hard conversations because there's some kid out there thinking reality is sunshine and rainbows when it's when it's not. It's not. And we Pete: Yeah. ry: we need them to know that. Pete: No, I agree. I the one thing I don't don't like and I've brought this up several times is these suicide videos where they're like, Well, after you take your life, you know, things will go on. And it's like I wonder if you think about what you're posting when you say those things to someone because you don't know what their state of mind is. Because if they're ry: No, totally. Pete: over the edge, they're not listening. If they're right there, you just push them over the edge by telling them that their life really doesn't matter at all. And I'm like What the fuck, man? Like stop posting these things. And then people are like, yeah, I know and all the people that comment things and it's like, do you all have like that far a grasp that you have no idea what the hell you're talking about? Because like at this point you make no sense. ry: Well and I'm I'm scared because going back to the post that you found me on, like you Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: know, obviously suicide awareness is so important because once you take your life, you don't get it back. That's that's it Pete: Yeah. Mm-hmm. ry: at the end of the day. Like that's not, you know, a light switch you can turn back on and be like, okay, like I wanna realive myself. No, once you take a life, you don't get it back. And I posted that and God the comments were so some of them were so dark and deep. Someone was like, This makes me want to take my own life more. I was like, What's I am so sorry that you're so deep in your struggle that you, you know, can't even see the good in my post. And then some people were like, you know, I've I also haven't met all the people that are gonna treat me like shit. And I was like, my goodness, like please, please help me God. Please help me God. And then my little Pete: no. ry: my little cute sunshiny self is trying to reply. And some of them are like, This makes me feel worse. And I just report them as a, you know, struggling person to Instagram. Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: I'm just like, I'm gonna go live my life. Now I tried. Pete: Yeah. You know, the comment section is worse. You know, like I do remember I was listening to the podcast Two Bears One Cave, and Bert is very open about his mental struggles. And he ry: Right. Pete: said that was the one thing, like he looks at the comments, he doesn't look at the positives, he looks at the negative ones only. And that was one of his biggest things. It's like I stare at those comments and see these people saying horrible things. Like you could say a million nice things to me, but that one thing you say, and it's like, wow, for someone that successful that's a comedian, which you know. They're they're an interesting breed though, because a lot of people use humor, dark humor, and things like that to get through certain situations. I do sometimes, you know what I mean? But for them to just get like take it and run, it's like yours is a better video of how the message should be displayed versus some of those other ones I'm talking about where they just start listing things and it's like, yeah, like there's there's worse fit. Trust me, if you think this is bad, you shouldn't go watch some of those other videos. But for them to just say wild things and it's just like a chat more chat message board just gone wild, like, you know. ry: No, it's insane. And it's like Pete: It is. ry: again, you feel bad for these people because it's like, I'm so so so sorry. You're so deep Pete: Yeah. ry: in the struggle that you can't even see the light in it. And it's it's heartbreaking. But you know, it it makes you really think like how many people out there are struggling. And yeah, that that video performed well. It helped a lot of people, but also like it didn't help everyone. And I think like just like therapy, you know, you can go see five different therapists and they're all gonna have a different Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: approach and that's the same thing with social Pete: Exactly. ry: media. We have five different creators, put in a room, there's gonna be a different approach and not everyone's gonna wanna follow the same creator. And that doesn't mean any of them are bad. They're all just different. And I think when you when you realize that you're like it's less to do with me and more to do with whatever this person needs in their time of healing. You know, it takes away some of that pressure. Pete: Yeah. So Ryan, let me ask you something though, since you're in that range of almost twenty, for the most of my listener base is usually in the thirties to forty range, somewhere in there, a lot of them. If they're s they feel like their teen's struggling, or you know, or maybe, maybe it's just some things that they could look out for to maybe know if their teen's struggling, how would you say they'd approach to them? You know, since you know, you have the younger perspective of this, maybe you can give them a little insight like how to better approach a teen to but that way we can try and avoid some of these things that are happening. ry: I honestly think like when it comes to, you know, even kids younger than me, like you wanna kind Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: of get on their level. Like you wanna have a normal conversation. You you don't wanna feel like it's an interrogation or you're yelling at them Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: or you know, make them feel guilty. Cause I think, you know, a lot of times with young adolescents, like if your parents kind of make you think something's wrong, you're not gonna tell them. You're gonna keep it secret. You're gonna hide it from them. And if your if your parent says don't use social media, guess what that kid's gonna do? That kid's gonna download every single Pete: Social media, yeah. ry: social media platform known to man. And I think setting some boundaries, talking to them and being like, look, you can use social media, but I want you to know if you see something that makes you uncomfortable, if you hear something that makes you think these thoughts, you know, bring up suicide or, you know, say like sad, angry, whatever thought might be coming to your mind. Please, you know, talk to me or talk to someone that you trust. And I think approaching it as if you're their friend, getting on that level will really make the kid or young teen feel less alone and be like, okay, my mom is actually on my side. She's not the person that's trying to take away this amazing platform that I talk to my friends on and, you know, sometimes still come across dark things. Cause I think, Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: again, social media. It sucks. But it's also a really beautiful place. And I know Pete: Yeah. ry: you can agree as a creator. I mean, we wouldn't be talking if it wasn't for Instagram. Pete: Yeah. ry: you know, you wouldn't be connecting with all these amazing creators spreading good things about mental health. But on the other side of the coin, it's like then we wouldn't also see these comparisons or, you know, these negative messages or whatever else it might be that's not so positive. So I think sitting down with your kid talking to them like they're, you know, your friend. Obviously like having some authority, but not making it, you know, like they're this like G.I. Joe Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: soldier. Like we don't want that. Come on. We don't want to like put mom, you know, as the the monster. sitting down talking to them and and letting them know like what is going on, what they might find and saying like, I'm a safe person for you to talk to. I think that's really, really important. Pete: Yeah, I've tried to talk to my kids. They know me as the mental health guy now. They when I started this podcast. ry: Ha ha Pete: I was a horrible person before, though. For for the little bit you don't know about me, though, but I was abandoned at 10. and I struggled for 30 years. My my mental health was bad. my ex-wife and I my ex and I split up, their mom split up, and I was horrible to her too. Like, you know, she didn't deserve all the moments where I got upset over things, you know, because the combination of things, you know. And I verbally, you know, got went after them and and all the other things I've I've done to those poor kids, man. Now, full circle after doing this show, they've they've seen a different side of me. They're Well, you're different than you were before. And you know, it's been an interesting journey from doing this show to where I'm now, you know, like like my beginning episodes were fucking terrible. Like I could tell you right now, they were horrible. But then I I kept pushing, kept going, kept, you know, and in the first season I did a hundred episodes and they were all live episodes I recorded, okay. I even had John DeCakis from CNN. He's 22-year journalism and everything else tell me that he appreciates the way I interview and things like that. And it took me a little bit to do it, you know, and things like that at first. Cause it was hard. I didn't want to open up about myself. But when I did, it seemed like more people of the emails just started overflowing when people started hearing how real it got with me. You know, I talked about my own suicide struggles. I talked about, you know, my ex-wife and I, when I told her I was going to kill myself, she told me, make me the 13th reason why. And she was serious about it too. You know, things like that too in in, you know, when I struggled when I when I separated from her. You know, and people knew I wasn't right. And I went on some of these other friends of mine shows and was talking about it, you know, but now it's it's like, you know, people know me for be the mental health guy and things like that too. I love talking about it all day with people. I always get people messaged me telling me, you know, like they're struggling, these or that. And everyone always sends them my way, says, yeah, go talk to Pete. He's got you and things like that too. You know, and and it's been great though, because I've made new friends, new connections. I I wouldn't have known half these people that I know now, you know. Hell, I've got Kimberly Lou, who's more successful than most people, that works as CEOs and things like she was messaging me directly, hey Pete, how you doing? I enjoyed being on the show. You know, it's that feeling like, you know, you're like, wow, like, you know, that's how powerful this conversation has gotten. You know, and we do need more. Honestly, we do. People that ry: Yeah. Pete: say that we're talking about it, we we may be, but we're not talking about it enough. We're not talking about it in positive aspect of like, you know, people just need a safe space to come in. And discuss these things. Like, you know, they just want to come in and not feel judged. I've had some shocking moments in this studio here. Last season we had the girl who came on and told us she slit her wrist, drank bleach, and all these things. And it there was a whole nother story that went with that too, that we came up to that. You know, and it's it's great to see how honest people will be when they know that they're not going to be judged in a space, you know, especially some of these things they deal with, you know. I've had the the expert, Dr. Jen Bellinger come on, who's an expert in BPD come on too. I'd been following her since day one I started this show. And then I caught her on TikTok and asked her to be on the show and she said yes. I damn near fell out of the chair. But it's like that's how I that's how I get a lot of these people though, though, because I'm just shocked because people are saying yes. So like I'm a little podcaster first, you know, and to where I'm now then people always ask me that how are you so successful? I don't know. I just keep pushing. Like you to consistency ry: Keep going. Pete: and everything else, you know what I mean? It's podcasting is tough, man. Like I I had a conversation with other podcasts. They were asking me about that. They're like, Yeah, hey, how do you how do you how did you get so successful? What are you doing? I'm like, I'll be honest, yeah, just record the show. I keep it consistent, you know, I change up things to see what's working, watch the numbers. and I go out and post clips everywhere I go, things like that. I'm on everything, Spotify all the way down to you know, Pandora Radio. I'm even on a radio station in in Pennsylvania as well, because of that other show. you know, and it and they're like, Well, the numbers. I'm like, Yeah, you can't worry about the numbers so much. You just gotta keep going, man. It it's a tough thing. ry: No, a thousand percent. And I feel like if you sometimes attach yourself to numbers, I mean I do this all day. Like if if I lose an Instagram follower, I'm still trying to work on this in my own therapy. Like Ryland, that didn't change your books, your podcast, who you are. It's some Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: bot probably or someone who's jealous by your light. I mean, darkness gets threatened by light, you know? That's just kind of how it goes. Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: And I think when you attach yourself to these numbers, you tend to change your own personality and you become the numbers. And you just want to show up as you on your show. Pete: Yeah. ry: That's what people like. That's what they want to come back for. Authenticity. You know, Pete Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: Rylin. Like not, you know, Pete with this many streams and downloads and Rylan with this many streams and downloads. I mean, yeah, it it it matters in some sort of conversation. I mean, you know, in in some room, but you're not the amount of streams and downloads or the Instagram followers. You're the kind of person you are. And I think that's what we all Pete: Yeah. ry: need to remember. Pete: I think we do. Yeah. The authenticity is big in this space, especially. That was the ry: Forget it. Pete: one advice that's the one good advice Max wife gave me. She said, if I'm gonna get into space that I need to be authentic, there's there's no room for bullshit because people could read through that. And I was like, Okay, cool, gotcha. You know, and that's the ry: Yeah. Pete: one thing that did stick me. That too. And then another guy I met, he was doing the come on man podcast. He's a men's coach. he had told me to just be consistent. So ever since then, and then he came on the show, and that was awesome too, by the way. That was in the within the first that was after the first year anniversary we did. He came in close to December. He literally waited to come on the show because we met through a matching service. And he's listen, man, I've been sitting on this service waiting to come on your show. For somebody to say that to you, it's like, wow, you know, and and I never looked at the numbers. I never did. I only looked at them recently because I was just curious, you know, just to see how it's going and just like that's how I planned this new season out. Was like, you know, I'm gonna take away one day, I'm gonna go with the days are stronger. You know, that's the only time I really stared at the numbers, but you know I just noticed I was close to 30 And then I was close to 40. I was like, that's a massive jump in seven days. Okay. Well, that's interesting to see. You know, but it's like, I don't I don't worry about the numbers either. Like, it's just interesting to see how many people are listening. I'm just curious to see what people are listening to. So I know what like what better I angle we can go with. But you know, it's it's always an interesting ry: Thousand percent. Pete: conversation. I had an I actually had a conversation with an oncologist the other day, named Dr. Hart. my God, ry: Ooh. Pete: it was phenomenal. She was phenomenal. Like, you didn't even need this conversation coming. She was just going. We were just having a casual conversation. And that's that's ry: I love it Pete: why I aim for it to be like that, though. Like I said, though, I just love being casual. Don't, I don't like, I know I've been on shows where people ask me a bunch of questions and things like that too. And I'm okay with that. But I'm like, that's not how I do things. And that that's my message to people. If you want to get into podcasting, is to be your authentic self. Like whatever works best for you. there's tons of people in that space. That's cool. There's X amount of hours in a day. There's X many days a week, X amount of day any days in a year. I guarantee that someone's not putting out three hundred and sixty-five days worth of content all day, 24 hours. That's just insanity. No one's doing that. You know, and I think a lot of people get intimidated by that too. And then it's like, you know, pick whatever you're passionate with, just go for it. Like Rye did. Just start sharing your story with people. You never know. Someone out there is gonna hear it and be like, Wait, whoa, I connect with that. That makes sense. I I feel that too, you know. And And it's not like you know, and then like they said, don't worry about the numbers. God, stop looking at the numbers. It's horrible. Easy even the follower thing. ry: please. and it's so bad, Pete. I'm like, my god, this person that I don't even know. Like 'cause in hindsight it's like if someone doesn't like you and they unfollow you, are you actually gonna care about them unfollowing you? Probably not, 'cause like you don't like me, you don't like my content. Please go. But like Pete: Exactly. ry: Why do we like deep down think like I suck, my content's bad? It's maybe it triggered Susie from Savannah, Georgia because she hasn't seen a therapist Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: or come, you know, come to terms with her own mental health, whatever struggles, Pete: Yeah. ry: chronic illness, whatever. You know what I mean? Or maybe it's simply someone is, you know, scared that you are sharing your story and you are showing up Pete: Yeah. ry: as yourself and they think they can't do that. And instead they're gonna hate on you eating chips on their couch when in reality everyone has the ability to do what we're doing. Come on, guys, it's not Pete: You know I'm saying? Like, but I I think you made a good point there though, with sharing your own story. But when you do it on the internet though, like you were saying, the comments, I think that's a lot of people to ry: Yeah. Pete: worry too much about what the comments say. Like it just if it's a negative comment, just block it or just move it and go, man. Like, don't let it get to you. Like these people are out to get those are what trolls do. That's the whole point of a troll is to upset you in some form or fashion. They want to upset you and say wild things to you. And it's like, look at what they're saying. You know, think of what they're like, like, what are you so mad about them? ry: Zero followers and no profile picture always too. Pete: Exactly. Exactly. That's the ones. Yeah. Or you're on TikTok and they come in randomly and they're just sitting in there and like you're live and they start saying like wild things to you. take off your shirt. Huh? Like like what? Like I got a friend on there. That's what she she does a lot of digital creating on there. she's been on the show a few times actually. So my my good friend Whitney coming on. Like I go sit in her chat sometimes and I want to be entertained because there's things they just say, Hey, stand up. Hey, that I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you all? Just quit, man. Like ry: What is what is wrong with these people? Like God forbid I'm trying to do my live stream and you're trying to make it something else. Like there's other platforms for that. Pete: You know, and and my biggest fear is what your generation is seeing, though, because you guys are like you said, you don't know what everybody puts up is a mirror. Okay. ry: Right. Pete: The difference between us and them is that we're more we're just real about it. There's nothing wrong with them if they don't want to share their personal lives. I get that. Respectfully, ry: Right. Pete: that's your choice. I knew what I was getting into when it is. When I the minute I decide to walk I woke up that day and decided, you know what, fuck it. I'm just gonna let it rip. I knew my life's on the internet. So anybody that gets involved with me, I tell them, listen, I'm on the internet. I just want to let you know right now. If you haven't ry: Right. Pete: looked me up or Googled me, you you can see my whole life is on the internet. Like I just want you to understand what you're getting. You know what ry: It's intimidating. Pete: I'm saying? Like I just want them to know ahead of time. Like I may mention you here and there in a in an episode or things like that. you know, I did when I was dating ry: Read a book about you. Pete: a young lady with by with that was BPD and had bipolar and things. And you know, I mention just because of the aspect of that. You always see them get demonized. Like I watch these videos ry: Okay. Pete: on TikTok where they're like, they're such a horrible person. But are they really though? You you have this great thing called a phone. You don't use it for anything but to be hateful. You can't research what these individuals are dealing with, you know? And then like it's like people forget that at the end of the day, we're human and how to just be nice to somebody. Like one compliment can make somebody's day. Like that's all it takes. Like you don't have to be rude to everyone. If you don't like something, fucking scroll, man. Like just scroll, please. Just scroll. But I love it though. I love the trolls, honestly. I'm waiting for one to come visit me because I just like. I'm ready. Like I'm the type of person I'll go back and forth them all day. Like, you know, and it to me it's like I'm not nothing really bothers me. I don't really I I'm very open because my like my brother, you know, he's transgender, so I've dealt with that community too. I've been as big as a support system since day one. You know, always happen, you know, and ry: What's Pete: things like that. So, you know, it's never phased me. My own daughter is is, you know, bisexual too. And she came and told me the day she was like, Dad, I'm I like girls. Okay. What do you want me to love you less? I mean, like, literally, what do you want me to say to that? ry: yeah. It's so sad how much hate that community, the LGBTQ Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: plus community gets. Because it's like, Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: why are you hating on someone for loving, for doing, whatever makes them happy? Life is so short. That's what I've learned. Pete: Exactly. ry: especially like I feel like losing Dolly Parton, like, was I the biggest fan of her? No, but like you respect her and eighty years doesn't seem that long. It truly does, and I don't think there's ever enough time on this book. Right? Pete: W Dolly did so many things in the back scene too. She was you know, people forget, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah. ry: She did. But it's you know, yeah. But it's like we're here for such a short amount of time. Why are you gonna hate on someone for loving who they wanna love, for being who they wanna be, for doing whatever makes them happy? That's not your life. Live your life the Pete: Exactly. ry: way you wanna live. If you wanna, you know, do whatever you wanna do, please do it. But don't hate on, you know, someone for deciding they want to be transgender or bisexual or gay or whatever the choice might be, you know? It's just get a risk. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's crazy. The things that those people do with the mental health status for a lot of them, because all the hate they get for all that, it's just like, why, man? If you're not ry: What? Pete: if you don't like what they're doing, then cool, that's cool with you. They didn't ask you to be a part of it, you know, and and things like that. It's crazy. Mm-hmm. ry: Be a good k be a good human being. Right. Just be a kind human being and walk about your day, whatever. You know, scroll, whatever the case may be. But it's twenty twenty six. Just let people make the choices they wanna have. Pete: Yeah, if I wanna dress up like Batman, I'll dress like Batman, goddammit. Let me do it, okay? ry: Real literally like, please. I mean with the world of AI, like, come on guys, we can accept AI and all this weird, you know, movies, actors being AI generated Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: and AI AI songs, but we still can't accept LGBTQ plus community. Like, what's wrong with us? What the hell? Pete: Yeah, speaking of movies, there's there's some gruesome ones that come out. We can accept that stuff, but someone two guys kissing really upsets you. Okay, cool. Yeah, you know, like that doesn't affect you. They're not asking you. Yeah. ry: God forbid, right? Like go seek a therapist. Go seek a therapist 'cause what's what's coming out in you that that bothers you so much? Like please go unpack that therapist right. Pete: You know what I mean? Yeah. It it's the craziest thing ever, though. You know, and it's it it just makes me laugh when you see that. Or like the transgender girls that post things, and it's like, they're beautiful. This is this is funny, you'll get a kick out this one. So this girl that posts, you she's just transgender. I was you know, she's beautiful or whatever. These people literally started commenting back. So I got about maybe 800 responses now. I've responded to every single one of them to this thing. They all calling me all these nasty names. that's awesome. that's so great. I'm so sorry you feel this way. Because it's like all I did was make one comment and then everybody just starts on, okay, cool. Listen, this is my entertainment for the day. All right, let's go. I'll go back and forth with you. It's cool. Like all I said to her was that she looks beautiful. That's it. I made her a compliment, went on with my day. Though lo and behold, the world didn't like that too much. These guys would just start yelling at you. ry: Well and it's like you never know what someone's going through, especially like within Pete: Exactly. ry: that community. She probably needed that compliment. Like, you know, and I think like if you see something beautiful in someone, please let them know. Like they're probably Pete: Exactly. ry: battling something, they're probably dealing with something. Like that c that kindness, that compliment could go so far. And I think I often think about this like when I'm out in public getting a coffee or, you know, going to school or whatever, like you never know what the person on the side of the street or next to you in the coffee shop is dealing with and maybe they're Pete: Exactly. ry: They're dealing with suicidal thoughts and that compliment that you just gave them about their shirt or their smile or whatever is gonna be the only reason they're gonna stay alive that day. And you never know. So it's like if you are nasty to that person, maybe that's the reason why they end it all. You know, we need to really, really think about how we act with strangers Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: because we never know what they're battling. Be kind. It's not that hard. Pete: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That that's why I always end the show the same thing. It's always be kind to somebody, one kind of act to save somebody's life. Because you don't know the exact reason. They could be going through something and that one positive moment kept them going even longer. Because you remember, hey, that person said they like my shirt. Hey, they like this. Hey, they like that. You know, and and things like that. We're not asking you to go out there and, you know, goon or whatever the term you want to use for and and whatever. We're not asking. We're just saying be nicer to people. See somebody struggling, just say, Hey, listen, I hope you're You you know, well, you see somebody with cancer, don't make them feel weird. You know, say, hey, listen, I think you look beautiful. You know, you know, they they they have no hair due to radiation, you know, just tell them you think they're a beautiful person. You know, that could lift their spirits, you know, just a little bit that they need it to keep going. And you like I said, like Rye said, you didn't know what people are going through. That's the crazy thing. I've had several conversations start like that, where I'm like, Hey, how you doing? They're like, You really wanna know? And the conversation went ways you didn't even expect it to go. You're just like, well, wow. You know. ry: Right. Pete: And then a lot of people would come back to see me for that reason. Like, listen, hey, how's it going, man? Hey, yeah, you know, I'm I'm doing this. And then, you know, there was one guy before we start wrapping up though, I did meet him. He came in where I worked, I was in Texas in the Texas area. He came in and he was like telling me about his friend. He lost his friend in a shooting incident, you know, and he was like litting the car in front. I guess the car rolled past. It's a whole wild story. So like I didn't know this individual, but I gave him I gave his friend, you know, hey, listen, send some thoughts and prayers for me. He didn't know until he saw it. This dude came in and lit up the room because he was like, my God, man, I'm so thank you so much for doing that. You didn't have to. You're right. I didn't have to. I chose to because you know what? In that moment, you came and told me you were struggling. You could tell you were struggling. And you decided to share it with me. And it's like, I'm just going continue spreading the positivity. And, you know, hey, send some love and prayer for this guy's family. You know, unfortunately, they lost somebody. It's a good friend of yours, you know. I chose to do it for myself. And I said, Hey, listen, man, watch this and see. And he was watching the show. And he didn't see it because it was a live episode. So I say sent him the playback and he was just ecstatic. He was like, my God, I showed it to his family and things like that. It's like, yeah, man. Like, you know, that and then all I did was to record a message. I didn't he didn't ask me to do anything. I chose to do it, you know. And then that's that's what we're saying. Just simple things make it a really easy way to just, you know, brighten somebody's day. ry: Truly. And it's Pete: All right. ry: it's crazy. We don't do that anymore. Pete: Right. Well, right, we're at that part of the episode where I asked two questions. Okay. So you ry: Ready? Pete: might have if you've heard a whole episode, you probably know what question is coming first for you. So if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? This is a fun question. ry: Ooh. Honestly I love I love this question. Oof, honestly, like I I love I Can Do It With a Broken Heart by Taylor Swift. I just think that's so Pete: Okay. ry: mean. Like you struggle with something and instead of like letting it define you, you pick back up and you keep going. Pete: Yeah, yeah. I think the best answer to date though so far is the guy said ran o what it grandma got ran over by a reindeer. That what ry: I love that. Pete: still makes me die to this day. It still makes me laugh my ass off every time. ry: I'm I'm too logical for that. I'm too logical for that. Pete: I dude, I didn't see it coming. He was Yeah, grandma getting rid of your reindeer. I'm like, what did he just say? I'm like, what did you just say? Yeah, ry: You're like Pete: you or me. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? It was great ry: okay, that's so funny. Pete: though. So, Ryan, we are at the last question of this interview. And the reason we started I started this podcast is if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, what I'm asking you is that something you want people to believe, or many points you want people to stop believing, what would you say that one thing would be? ry: I hate the whole stigma of men don't struggle with their mental health. That really bothers me. as a girl, I think the most attractive thing a guy can do is cry, show emotion, and talk to someone about their feelings. I don't understand why we've given mental health a gender. there's Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: nothing wrong with a guy having anxiety, depression, BPD, whatever it might be. I think we all are human beings and human beings feel and we shouldn't try to isolate ourselves from that. So I think we need to realize everyone struggles with their mental health. There's no gender and people need to feel supported and seen. And if someone says that men don't struggle with their mental health, I want to ask them how how have they ever struggled with their mental Pete: Exactly. ry: health? Like let's let's talk about the generational thing. Like, you know, let me turn the coin. And I think when you realize that it's like every human being has struggled with their mental health. Some people just want to avoid it more than others. But yeah, everyone struggles and we all need to feel supported. And also it's hard for someone to talk. I hate when people are like, just talk to me about your feelings. Well, if you're not a safe person for that individual, that person's not gonna want to talk to you. So I mean, you Pete: Fantastic point, yes. Yes. ry: need to make sure that you are being aware of the spaces and conversations you're fostering with your loved ones. Because for any parents out there, maybe your kid is scared to open up to you. Maybe your best friend's scared to tell you something because they haven't marked you as a safe person. Pete: Exactly. I think that's a fantastic point and a great way to end this interview. Right, thank you so much for coming and hanging out. It was an honor having you. ry: Thank you. Pete: It's great getting your perspective from a younger, younger age group to see what you guys are thinking. But you know, like I said, you're you're impressive near no nothing else says any less that you're just nothing but impressive. You're almost you're on your way to getting masters, you have your podcast, you're not two time author, all these great achievements. Where can people find you? Where where's the best place for them to come find you? ry: You're so sweet. When I'm done with school and I'm a therapist, we'll have me back on and I can be therapist Pete: Definitely. ry: Rylan. so if you wanna check out my books, just search Rylan Rosano on Amazon. So that's R Y L I N R-O-S-S-A-N-O. They're only $9.99. Let them be a part of your healing journey. My podcast is on all podcast streaming platforms. It's Take Care of Your Body by R Y. The podcast Instagram is Take Care by Rye. I talk a lot about mental health, wellness, healing, and I'll sometimes throw in fun recipes because when you're struggling with your mental health, you don't want to worry about what you're eating. I mean, come on. Pete: Mm-hmm. ry: Like you want quick recipes to be able to Pete: Exactly. ry: grab and go and fear and nourish your body. And then if you wanna get personal with me, you can follow my personal Instagram, which is R-Y-L-I-N-R-O-S-E-E. Thank you so much for letting me join, Pete. This was so healing and really motivated me to keep doing what I'm doing. We need more of this. Pete: I appreciate it so much, Ryan. And guys, I got invited to come on Ry's show, so you will hear me on there eventually. We'll figure that all out. So I'm I'm so excited to go be there. Guys, and with that ry: I'm so excited. Pete: being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete Fritz Anxiety. Guys, don't worry about fine. I'm Pete Fritz Anxiety. I'm on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Rayo. And if you're in the Pennsylvania area, we are on the Pep Radio Network. You also can find me TikTok all the way down to X Guys. And as always, say it costs absolutely nothing nothing to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can can save some life hell you can make their day. I'm Pete Fritz Anxiety signed off saying, Don't ask how your day is today. Say hey. What's your mental health?