Latest / Never Too Late to Dream / E2: Coming Alive: From Powerless to Purposeful with Robyn Harris

Transcript

E2: Coming Alive: From Powerless to Purposeful with Robyn Harris · Never Too Late to Dream

• 0:02
  Caroline Buist: Welcome to Never Too Late to Dream, the podcast
• 0:06
  for anyone who's ever shelved a dream, talked themselves out of
• 0:09
  one, or let fear, doubt, or life itself get in the way. Every
• 0:14
  episode, I'll be talking to real people, late bloomers, slow
• 0:19
  burners, and plot twisters who dared to pursue their dreams
• 0:23
  later than supposed to. We're talking about the messy middle,
• 0:28
  the wobbles, the moments of what the hell am I doing, and the
• 0:33
  extraordinary things that happen when you keep going anyway.
• 0:37
  Because here's the thing, there's no expiry date on a
• 0:40
  dream. The world's full of people who found their groove in
• 0:44
  their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, and they've got stories worth
• 0:49
  hearing. Each guest will share their dream, what stopped them,
• 0:53
  how they got unstuck, and what they'd say to anyone still
• 0:57
  waiting in the wings. I'll also be asking everyone what their
• 1:00
  dream's theme song is, because every good story deserves a
• 1:04
  soundtrack, doesn't it?
• 1:07
  Hello, and welcome to episode two of Never Too Late to Dream.
• 1:13
  Today, I'm joined by Robyn Harris from Wild Wellbeing, and
• 1:17
  she's the author of "Take a Walk on the Wild Side", as well.
• 1:21
  Welcome, Robyn. Nice to see you here today.
• 1:24
  Robyn Harris: It's brilliant to be here, Caroline. Thank you so
• 1:26
  much. I'm really excited to see where our conversation is going
• 1:29
  to take us today.
• 1:31
  Caroline Buist: Yes, because I haven't really revealed what I'm
• 1:32
  going to ask you, so it could be quite interesting. So, before we
• 1:37
  get into your story, can you tell us, our listeners a little
• 1:42
  bit more about what you and what you do.
• 1:45
  Robyn Harris: So, my business is Wild Wellbeing, Wild being an
• 1:49
  acronym, which isn't so much a set of steps, but through my own
• 1:55
  healing journey, I went from being miserable and just feeling
• 2:01
  like if this was different, and if that person was different,
• 2:04
  and if I could change that, and if that was better, than my life
• 2:08
  would be fine. So, I was looking outside all of the time and
• 2:12
  blaming and just wanting everything to be different, and
• 2:16
  then I realised I can't change any of those things. They're not
• 2:21
  under my control, but what is, is me, my thought processes, my
• 2:27
  perspectives, how I see myself, see the world, and engage with
• 2:32
  the world. And it really came down to that quote from Wayne
• 2:37
  Dyer, who says, "when we change the way we look at things, the
• 2:41
  things we look at change." So, I realised that it's down to me. I
• 2:48
  get to, not I have to, but I get to take the reins and make the
• 2:55
  choices that will best serve me. Because in doing that, then I
• 2:59
  can show up as my best self, and we all, I believe, have our own
• 3:04
  unique gifts. So, when we're in our best place, when we feel
• 3:11
  that we are regulated, and we were in flow, we can give of our
• 3:15
  best, and if I do that, then I can support others to do that
• 3:20
  too, and that was where Wild really came from, to get that
• 3:25
  sense of spaciousness and respons-ability, agency, freedom
• 3:35
  to be who we are here to be, and that's what I love to share.
• 3:40
  Caroline Buist: Love that, Robyn, but obviously that's
• 3:44
  where you are now. So, before you got to that point, did you
• 3:47
  have a dream that you wanted to pursue, and why did you want to
• 3:52
  pursue it?
• 3:53
  Robyn Harris: Right back at the start of my journey, I didn't,
• 3:55
  because I didn't even know was this possible, but as I started
• 4:00
  to learn all of the amazing things that I've learned, and
• 4:04
  realise our body has so much wisdom within it. And when we
• 4:09
  listen to it, it's so empowering, and it radically
• 4:15
  transforms who we are, how we live, how we relate to life and
• 4:21
  to those around us. And then my dream was, "can I support others
• 4:28
  who are where I was?", because I look around and I see people who
• 4:32
  are finding life difficult. I hear about people who are
• 4:36
  struggling, and I wondered, "can I support them to find their way
• 4:44
  to navigate their lives?", so that they too can get to the
• 4:48
  point of waking up feeling joyful and excited and looking
• 4:53
  forward to the new day and all of the things that they might
• 4:56
  learn and encounter on that day. So, that became my dream. is
• 5:01
  that something that I can do? And that then came into Wild,
• 5:05
  and as you said, into writing my book.
• 5:08
  Caroline Buist: Great, so I'm a great lover of music, and it's
• 5:14
  something that I've put into my own book. So I am going to ask
• 5:21
  every guest, if your dream had a theme song, what would it be,
• 5:26
  and why?
• 5:29
  Robyn Harris: I can't actually remember the title of the song
• 5:31
  that I thought of before, and that I've mentioned to you, but
• 5:35
  it's the one from The Greatest Showman.
• 5:37
  Caroline Buist: It was "Come Alive", wasn't it?
• 5:39
  Robyn Harris: Yes, it was Come Alive because I just love the
• 5:43
  soundtrack for that movie. I think there are so many
• 5:46
  uplifting and empowering songs, but that particular one, it
• 5:51
  starts off where I was at the beginning of my journey, feeling
• 5:55
  like what's the point? what's it all about? where am I going? and
• 6:05
  at the end it is that coming alive, realising there's so much
• 6:11
  more potential and possibility than I had ever thought
• 6:16
  possible, from where I was before, with the lenses that I
• 6:19
  was looking through at the beginning of my journey compared
• 6:23
  to what I can now see, and how that can just feel so much more
• 6:29
  alive. I think I've been exploring a lot of stuff
• 6:33
  recently, and it is all about that sense of not just slogging
• 6:39
  through every day, but really coming alive, feeling alive, and
• 6:44
  living and thriving.
• 6:47
  Caroline Buist: So, what stopped you from pursuing your dream at
• 6:49
  the beginning?
• 6:51
  Robyn Harris: I think I couldn't initially pursue my dream,
• 6:54
  because I just didn't feel that it was possible, and that I had
• 7:00
  the power to do it. I think I felt I had so many limiting
• 7:04
  beliefs going on, and I just felt powerless to affect any
• 7:11
  change, and that sense of, well, it's never going to get any
• 7:14
  better. I think hopelessness was a massive thing for me, and now
• 7:20
  turning that around, one of the big things for me that I long to
• 7:24
  share with others is a sense of hope, a sense of possibility, a
• 7:28
  sense of spaciousness, room to expand and change and grow,
• 7:34
  whereas before I felt stuck in a little box.
• 7:37
  Caroline Buist: So, how did you get unstuck then? How did you
• 7:42
  tackle your lack of belief?
• 7:45
  Robyn Harris: Well, I had a rather interesting start,
• 7:49
  because I decided I had to do what was right, what was proper,
• 7:57
  which you know we're told if you're not well, you go to the
• 8:00
  doctor. So I did, and I was prescribed medication and
• 8:05
  referred for counselling, and I kind of knew that wasn't what I
• 8:10
  wanted, but I thought, well, I just have to do what I'm
• 8:14
  supposed to do. I'll tick those boxes, and I took one of the
• 8:19
  pills that I was prescribed, and I was so spaced out that I swore
• 8:23
  I'm never going to take any more of those, and the counselling,
• 8:28
  it was fine, but I didn't feel it was moving me forward. I just
• 8:32
  felt I was going round and round and round in circles, so that
• 8:37
  left me with, what else do I do? Where can I turn from here? And
• 8:42
  I'm a bit of a bookworm, so the internet wasn't quite as big a
• 8:47
  thing back when I started my journey. So, I went to books,
• 8:52
  and it was reading quotes like the Wayne Dyer one that I
• 8:56
  mentioned earlier, "when we change the way we look at
• 9:00
  things, the things we look at change", and another quote I
• 9:03
  came across, which said that "we don't look at things as they
• 9:09
  are, we look at them as we are", which is kind of the same thing
• 9:13
  just said in a different way. It's the lenses that we look
• 9:16
  through that determine what we see. So it's my thoughts, my
• 9:21
  beliefs, my perceptions that cause the filters that determine
• 9:28
  what I see. So, if I was to ask you on your way in your next
• 9:33
  journey, when you're driving your car, I want you to notice
• 9:38
  all the red cars, and the next time we speak, let me know how
• 9:41
  many red cars you saw, and then if next time I see you, I say,
• 9:46
  right, so how many blue cars did you see on that journey? You
• 9:49
  didn't ask me about blue, your filter for one thing, so you
• 9:54
  didn't see the others that have passed by, and they'll have been
• 9:58
  there, but your brain won't have registered them because your
• 10:01
  filter was so fixed on red cars. And it was the same for me. I
• 10:05
  wasn't seeing any of the good things, because I was so focused
• 10:08
  on how miserable my life was. But when I read those two
• 10:14
  quotes, and then one from Bruce Lipton, who said, "the moment
• 10:19
  you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the
• 10:22
  chemistry of your body", and at that time I was having a lot of
• 10:27
  kind of niggling health issues, nothing major, but just when
• 10:31
  they were all stacked up, they were making my life bit
• 10:34
  uncomfortable. So I had IBS, eczema, was borderline for
• 10:39
  diabetes, borderline for fibromyalgia, borderline for a
• 10:42
  thyroid condition, and the doctor was basically saying if
• 10:46
  nothing changes, you're going to have all of this, you're going
• 10:50
  to have the diabetes, you're going to have the fibromyalgia,
• 10:52
  you're going to have the thyroid condition, and I was thinking,
• 10:56
  what kind of a future is that going to be for me? I just felt
• 11:00
  my body was letting me down. It was falling apart. Was I going
• 11:04
  to be able to work? What was my long-term future? I'd already,
• 11:09
  when I was in my late teens, early 20s, had been in a
• 11:13
  wheelchair for a while, and then confined to bed, and I thought,
• 11:16
  I don't want that to be my future, I don't want to go back
• 11:19
  there. So, reading that quote from Bruce Lipton, I thought, if
• 11:23
  I change my perception and that rewrites the chemistry of my
• 11:27
  body, can I feel better? Can I avoid being diagnosed with
• 11:34
  full-blown fibromyalgia, diabetes, or the thyroid
• 11:37
  condition, and be put on medication for the rest of my
• 11:39
  life? So I thought, well, I've got nothing to lose, and
• 11:46
  thinking that, well, I can't change anything out there, but
• 11:50
  if I change my perception. So, I start to look at what I'm
• 11:54
  thinking, look at what I'm believing, and basically take my
• 11:58
  glasses off, give them a good old clean, put them back on, and
• 12:02
  see, is the world a brighter place? Can I find some joy? Can
• 12:09
  I take back that sense of, I did that, I get to choose. I have
• 12:14
  agency, I have respons-ability.
• 12:17
  I make the choices, I get to make those choices, so I kind of
• 12:22
  played with that for a while, and just on a small scale,
• 12:27
  because I didn't have belief that it was necessarily going to
• 12:32
  make drastic changes. So I'll just try little small things
• 12:35
  that maybe other people won't notice, and I won't be too
• 12:38
  accountable then, because they won't be checking up on me, and
• 12:41
  things started to shift, and it kind of, you start off with
• 12:46
  that, and it becomes habit, it becomes normal, and you think I
• 12:48
  could easily add something else, and just adding and adding and
• 12:52
  adding, and then somebody said to me one day, "you know, you
• 12:54
  are so different from how you used to be", am I? I don't think
• 13:00
  I am, but then looking back, that's when you see actually I
• 13:05
  started here, I'm now here, I've come quite a distance. Inside,
• 13:09
  changes were happening in a very small way, but every day, and
• 13:14
  they were stacking and growing and building, so I didn't really
• 13:18
  notice, but then when they said that, that challenged me to take
• 13:24
  a look and see, oh gosh, yes. When that used to happen, I'd
• 13:28
  get really upset, and it would be like playing around in my
• 13:32
  mind for days. Now I kind of go, yeah, and I know how to support
• 13:38
  myself back to balance now. If I feel like I've been knocked off
• 13:42
  kilter, it takes me a lot less time to get back, and sometimes
• 13:46
  I just kind of step back and go, okay, you can have your drama
• 13:49
  for a moment, and then get over yourself and just move on,
• 13:52
  because it's not a big deal, and I get to laugh with myself
• 13:57
  rather than where I always used to feel I was being laughed at.
• 14:02
  Now, whatever you think of me is what you think of me, and it's
• 14:06
  actually none of my business. And sometimes it still does, you
• 14:10
  know, that little voice still plays in my mind. But now I get
• 14:13
  to go, yeah, you're just in your drama, and you canvjust go and
• 14:19
  sit quietly in a corner, because I've got this. I'm making
• 14:22
  different choices now, because that I know doesn't work for me.
• 14:26
  It doesn't serve me. It leaves me feeling pretty rubbish. I
• 14:29
  don't want to feel rubbish, whether it's right or it's
• 14:32
  wrong. I don't want to feel rubbish, so I'm going to choose
• 14:35
  what I think, and it actually ends up working out much better.
• 14:40
  Caroline Buist: So, knowing what you know now, what advice would
• 14:43
  you give your younger self?
• 14:46
  Robyn Harris: It's difficult when you look back and you think
• 14:48
  I went through what I went through. I know why my thoughts
• 14:53
  and my beliefs were what they were, and they were rather
• 14:56
  limiting. I think what I would love to say to my younger self
• 15:01
  at an earlier stage was don't take it all so seriously. One of
• 15:06
  the other things that I came across in all of my book reading
• 15:10
  was Abraham Hicks, Sylvester and Jerry Hicks, and Esther
• 15:15
  channelling the collective of Abraham, and that's one of the
• 15:19
  things that Abraham says, you take yourselves way too
• 15:23
  seriously, and I so think that's true. I took life so seriously.
• 15:30
  My life was grey, my life was a slog, but I realise now that was
• 15:38
  just because of how I was looking at things, my glasses
• 15:42
  were filthy. It was the glasses that were grey, not the world.
• 15:48
  So, when I realised that, and I was able to give them a good old
• 15:51
  clean, then it was that. So, I think it was, don't take life so
• 15:57
  seriously, don't worry so much about what other people are
• 16:02
  saying and doing and thinking, and how they're behaving,
• 16:04
  because that's none of your business. It's outside of your
• 16:07
  control. Look at all that you have, listen to your body, tune
• 16:15
  in, let it guide you, because it knows what's right for you,
• 16:18
  because it is you, and you are the only person that's ever
• 16:23
  walked in your shoes, lived your life. Other people can advise
• 16:26
  you, other people can share their stories, but although you
• 16:32
  can listen to that, don't feel you have to follow it. If
• 16:38
  something resonates, great, but if it doesn't and honestly
• 16:42
  doesn't, then you can just put it down and carry on your own
• 16:48
  path, because they don't know what it's like to be you.
• 16:52
  Caroline Buist: Yeah, absolutely. So, with the benefit
• 16:56
  of hindsight, is there anything you would do differently?
• 17:01
  Robyn Harris: That's hard to say, because you go through what
• 17:04
  you go through, and you're learning what you learn when
• 17:08
  you're ready to learn it. So, with the knowledge that I have
• 17:14
  now, I might have made different choices then, but I didn't have
• 17:17
  that knowledge then. So, in that respect, I try not to look
• 17:21
  backwards and regret, but to take lessons from what has
• 17:26
  happened and think along the lines of, if I had what I know
• 17:31
  now, then I would have made different choices. So, let's
• 17:34
  stick with what I know now, and make sure I use that information
• 17:38
  to make the best choices going forward, because I can't change
• 17:41
  the past and I don't want to spend any time in regret,
• 17:47
  because it's not going to get me anywhere.
• 17:50
  Caroline Buist: Yeah, and it obviously shapes how you are
• 17:52
  now, doesn't it? So your experiences shape how ive now,
• 17:56
  and you know, you see is with the benefit of hindsight. So
• 17:59
  that's a difficult question to answer, but I just thought it
• 18:02
  would be quite an interesting one to ask. So, what does
• 18:06
  success mean for you?
• 18:09
  Robyn Harris: That's always an interesting question, isn't it?
• 18:11
  Success for me, I think, is that I live by the lessons I've
• 18:17
  learned, and I don't spend time worrying about the past or
• 18:23
  worrying about those things that I used to worry about that kept
• 18:26
  me small. So, all of the wonderful things that I've
• 18:31
  learned to put them into practice and to allow them to
• 18:37
  shape my future, create my future that I want to be living,
• 18:42
  I think that's success for me to be who I was born to be, to step
• 18:47
  into that more and more and more. I think it's a lifelong
• 18:52
  journey, a lifelong process, and to enjoy that.
• 18:56
  Caroline Buist: So, do you feel you're there, with the sort of
• 19:00
  success that you've got now,
• 19:03
  Robyn Harris: Like I was saying, I think it's a lifelong journey.
• 19:05
  So, hopefully I'm pretty good with where I am right now along
• 19:11
  that path. I'm in a pretty good place for all that's been and
• 19:16
  all that's still to come, but hopefully I've still got quite a
• 19:20
  lot to learn, and a lot of growing to do, because I'm one
• 19:24
  of those people who just loves every day's a school day. I love
• 19:27
  learning, I love growing, I love challenges, I love having
• 19:33
  conversations like these to explore these things, to kind of
• 19:36
  put them out on the table, and look at them from all different
• 19:39
  angles, and see, ooh, what have I not seen yet, and I love that,
• 19:43
  you know, if you go for a walk and you might go on a regular
• 19:47
  route, but you go on it the same way, and then if another day you
• 19:51
  decide I'm going to go from a different direction, same route,
• 19:55
  but I'm going to go backwards, or whatever, and suddenly you
• 19:58
  notice things that you never noticed before, just because I'm
• 20:02
  now walking past that way rather than that way, and just that
• 20:07
  different angle opens up things that you've never spotted
• 20:11
  before. So, yeah, I hope that I still have a lot of learning and
• 20:15
  growth and challenge ahead, and hopefully I embrace that, and I
• 20:22
  know sometimes things are challenging, as in, that's a bit
• 20:26
  uncomfortable, but I hope I can embrace it and just take the
• 20:31
  best bits.
• 20:32
  Caroline Buist: So, where do you see yourself in the future? Do
• 20:35
  you have any new dreams that you'd like to pursue?
• 20:38
  Robyn Harris: I'm working on several collaborations at the
• 20:42
  moment, they're still in their very early stages, but I'm
• 20:46
  excited to see where they might take me. They are largely in the
• 20:52
  world of wellbeing, but wellbeing in different aspects
• 20:57
  of wellbeing. So, I'm working with one group on a conference
• 21:01
  that's coming up in October that's all around community
• 21:04
  wellbeing, suicide, and bereavement, because I do quite
• 21:07
  a lot of work around grief and loss. I'm working with the deaf
• 21:11
  community, because unfortunately for those who are fluent sign
• 21:15
  language users, and that's their first language, there's not an
• 21:18
  awful lot of resources out there in sign language, there's a lot
• 21:23
  in English. You can get leaflets, you can get websites,
• 21:27
  but if that's not your first language, that can be a real
• 21:31
  barrier. So, being a fluent sign language user, I love to be able
• 21:37
  to bring what I do to the deaf community directly, rather than
• 21:41
  having to rely on it going through an interpreter, I am
• 21:43
  also an interpreter, so I do understand that's a really
• 21:48
  challenging role, but I believe strongly that information for
• 21:55
  the deaf community should be provided directly, one to one,
• 21:58
  where at all possible, so I've been working with a local deaf
• 22:01
  organisation to bring workshops and stuff to the community
• 22:06
  there, and various other bits and pieces. I'm doing more
• 22:09
  speaking, being on podcasts, and I love all of that. So, yeah,
• 22:15
  more of that is what I'm looking forward to.
• 22:18
  Caroline Buist: Great, look forward to seeing more of that,
• 22:21
  so what would you say to somebody who's put their dream
• 22:25
  on the back burner?
• 22:29
  Robyn Harris: I would encourage them to listen to what their
• 22:37
  heart is saying and to what lights them up, because when we
• 22:44
  can tune in to what lights us up, and make space and time,
• 22:48
  give ourselves permission, know that we don't have to earn that
• 22:54
  we are worthy of bringing more of that into our life, and that
• 23:00
  allows the light to come back on, the colour to come back into
• 23:04
  your life. If you're currently feeling that your life is a bit
• 23:09
  grey and a bit drab and a bit of a flog, like I was saying
• 23:12
  earlier, but when we see ourselves as worthy of having
• 23:20
  that joy in our lives, I think there's a huge knock-on effect.
• 23:25
  It really shifts how we see ourselves and how we see the
• 23:29
  world, and it allows other good things to come, and I like the
• 23:34
  idea of manifestation and the secret and law of attraction
• 23:40
  when we see ourselves as worthy of that joy and that fun, and we
• 23:44
  start bringing more of it into our lives, it attracts more, and
• 23:49
  anything that we're grateful for, and we're enjoying, and
• 23:53
  we're bringing in all of those high vibration emotions, the
• 23:57
  universe kind of is going, "Whoa, you really like this, do
• 24:01
  you want some more? Whereas, if we are where I was, oh,
• 24:06
  everything's grey and it's lack, and it's bad, and I can't do
• 24:10
  this, and I should be doing this, but oh, I don't like it, I
• 24:14
  don't enjoy it. The universe is saying, gosh, you're spending a
• 24:16
  lot of time in that energy, if you like that, I'll give you
• 24:20
  more, so it's whatever we focus on. So I would say to people,
• 24:27
  focus on what your heart is calling you to, and do those
• 24:32
  little steps, and it will grow even without you realising it,
• 24:38
  because it's like that plant that you're watering regularly,
• 24:41
  you're giving it food, you're giving it the right conditions
• 24:45
  that it needs, and when we do that for ourselves, we blossom
• 24:47
  too.
• 24:49
  Caroline Buist: Great advice. So, finally, how can listeners
• 24:54
  find out more about you and what you do?
• 24:58
  Robyn Harris: I hopefully am fairly easily found. My website
• 25:03
  is Wild UK. That's W dash I dash L dash d.uk not.co.uk, just.uk.
• 25:18
  My email, then, is robyn@wild.uk. I'm also on
• 25:28
  Facebook, just my name, Robyn Harris. On LinkedIn, same, my
• 25:33
  name, Robyn Harris. I have a YouTube channel, which is Wild
• 25:38
  TV, and a podcast, which is the VIG podcast, vulnerability,
• 25:44
  introspection, and growth, and I'm on Substack as Wild
• 25:47
  Whispers, so any of those, but if you go to my website, and
• 25:52
  then the tabs across the top, hover over resources, get the
• 25:56
  drop-down menu, and there's a links list there,
• 26:00
  Caroline Buist: I will add all your links in Robyn to the show
• 26:02
  notes as well, so people can find out more about what you do.
• 26:06
  But thank you so much for being my first guest on this podcast.
• 26:10
  It's been a real pleasure speaking to you. Thank you for
• 26:14
  your insights and your wisdom.
• 26:16
  Robyn Harris: Thank you so much, Caroline. It's been a joy and an
• 26:18
  honour to be your first guest. Thank you.
• 26:24
  Caroline Buist: And that's it for episode two of Never Too
• 26:26
  Late to Dream. And what a great conversation that was with Robyn
• 26:30
  Harris. Next month I'll be joined by Maria Newman. And if
• 26:35
  you don't want to miss that episode, don't forget to
• 26:37
  subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and if you do like
• 26:42
  what you hear, please share, like, and leave us a nice review
• 26:46
  if you can. Finally, don't forget that it's never too late
• 26:54
  to dream. It really isn't.