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Learn Why Saying NO Provides Freedom And Opens New Boundaries For Greater Success · Speak In Flow

• 0:05
  Melinda Lee: Hello, welcome to the Speak In Flow podcast today
• 0:09
  I have Hanna Bankier. Hannah and I met several years ago at
• 0:14
  graduate school, we were in school to get University. And
• 0:18
  she walked in, she always said something bright, smart, fun to
• 0:21
  say, and the dark chocolate.
• 0:24
  I told her, you remember that. And so we both got our masters
• 0:27
  of industrial psychology together. And I brought her on
• 0:31
  because she's just full of insight. She started her Working
• 0:35
  Solutions Group. She's a founder, CEO now and she has so
• 0:39
  much wisdom and expertise to share, especially around saying
• 0:43
  no, so most of us think we're unleashing our voice. And so we
• 0:46
  got to speak more. And that also comes with how to say no, and so
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  she's going to share with us some of her expertise. And
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  before we get into that, Hannah, can you just tell us a little
• 0:57
  bit more about your, what you do with Working Solutions Group?
• 1:01
  And what are you passionate about?
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  Hanna Bankier: Absolutely, thank you. Yeah, I love being part of
• 1:08
  people's journey where they find their voices when they get
• 1:12
  aligned with their values where they get to live their purpose.
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  And I call it connecting people to possibilities and exploring
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  your potential. And I do that in a few different ways. So I do it
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  as an executive coach, where we I work one on one with people, I
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  go into organisations, and I do organisation development work,
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  hold a bunch of workshops. I am a content creator, I have online
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  courses, and I'm also a speaker. So I speak on topics like
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  feedback is a gift or hack your mind or conflict is a feature
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  not a bug, or the topic that we're talking about today. No is
• 1:51
  a complete
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  Melinda Lee: sentence. Well, let's dive right in. No is a
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  complete sentence and why is it what is a reason? What is
• 2:00
  important about saying no. Especially in our world,
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  everybody's used to saying yes, and we're celebrating SS.
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  Hanna Bankier: Well, there's there's a lot to unpack. There's
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  the socialisation that primarily as women have been, you know,
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  fed into we've been trained to be people pleasers and saying
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  yes, and taking on the brunt of people's baggage, I say like put
• 2:22
  down your bag these bags, they are not yours to carry. And the
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  power and the wisdom of the saying no isn't to become a
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  naysayer, we're not looking to say no, no, just to say no. But
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  rather that no is your vehicle for more? Yes. Like what did you
• 2:39
  want to say? Yes, to what? And whom do you want to be doing?
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  Who do you want to surround yourself with? Where do you want
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  to spend your time and your energy? Because that feeds
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  that's your life before. And it's easy to get bogged down and
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  like automatically saying yes to this and saying yesterday, maybe
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  you want to be in charge of your kids at schools bake sales for
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  the fifth year in a row. And maybe you rather being used
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  ceramics studio, or maybe you want to help a friend putting
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  together their birthday party, because that feels connected.
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  And that's really juicy for you. And maybe use that to just show
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  up as a guest. Like we have more choice than we think. And one of
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  the cruxes that we believe often that we just have to say yes.
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  What are people going to think? For me and my journey? I used to
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  be a yes, they are too. And I felt like that was in my power.
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  And I could do it all and I can work 5060 hour work weeks and
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  have a husband who was on the road 10 days of mines and be
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  home with two little kids and like bring it and I thought that
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  was my power. And I really no come to realise that's not my
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  power. My power is Yeah, I was exhausted. I realised I was
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  exhausted and started impacting my house. And I also realised
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  that long term it didn't serve us as a family. So I started
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  handing out pink slips to my family and saying I no longer
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  theory, I will not keep track of all things and all you know,
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  where are you going to be? Have you brought your cleats? What's
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  your homework for tomorrow? When a soccer practice and I started
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  saying, Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make that
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  information readily available to you and then I need you to go
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  find it. So it was hard for me, right? I am one of those kids
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  that in class back in the day, like, Do you know the answer?
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  I'm gonna say me, me I know. But now I realised that if I always
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  have the answer, I'm not teaching them to have the
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  answer. So it was also really, really hard. Yes, I'm sure
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  identity. That's been my autopilot. Yes, default setting.
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  But I realised that I wasn't going to move into college with
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  my kids at Don't think they wanted, I don't want it. So they
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  need to get these and start flexing these muscles on their
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  own. For the next time they came, and they were my cleats.
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  And I'm like, I'm not serious. I don't know, why have you looked
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  and really had a back the responsibility where it belongs.
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  And it turns out to be a win win situation for our family,
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  because these are alignment with my parenting values, and they
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  got to start flexing their muscles. And I got some of my
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  time and my energy back.
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  Melinda Lee: Right? Well, this, you said something really key
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  here, because that was your identity, right? having all the
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  answers being the mom that could do it all. And, and you could
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  and you can, it's almost it's an identity. And so I can relate to
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  that. And I, I know that there's a lot of people out there right
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  now who they are so capable, they're leaders in their field,
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  they're leaders in the organisation, and it becomes an
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  identity that you can do it all. And then so and then, but for
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  you had to like some health issues started to come up.
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  Right. And so what can we do? What are some of the key
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  challenges? That it is like? How do the challenges of letting go
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  this identity? Or why is what is the reason why it's so
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  challenging? Let's just
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  Hanna Bankier: melted into many, many reasons. Yeah. And for me,
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  I think the identity is a huge part. And I you know, I refer to
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  myself as a recovering type A, I used to be very, very
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  controlling. And part of that was I needed to let go of that
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  control, to get other people to step in in that place. So when
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  it comes to learning, flexing your your no muscles and learn
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  to start doing that. There's a lot of things that come up. And
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  some of the reasons why it's so hard to say no, it could be that
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  we've been socialised into saying yes, and where people
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  pleasers could be the word control freaks. And I know how
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  to do it better than you anyway. So I might as well do it on my
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  own. It could be I'm really afraid of the reaction or the
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  response. What happens if I say no, it could be that I feel
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  guilty, which is, you know, a whole whole could be a podcast
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  on its own about the misplaced guilt that we often feel. And so
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  there's a lot of different reasons why, why it's hard to
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  say no. And I think that's where we really have to take a step
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  back and looking at I'm not saying no, again, to just say
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  no, I'm saying no, to be able to say more, yes. But when we're
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  not clear on what we want to say yes to, then it's so easy to get
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  stuck in this, oh, I'll just do it by autopilot, it's becomes
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  the default setting. I've one of my clients. That's how she, she
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  describes it. She's like, it's my default setting. I just say
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  yes. I don't stop. I don't pop. I don't feel like is this gonna
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  be good for me? Am I feeling complete and directed by this
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  app that came to me? And I'm just going to push through? So I
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  think there's a lot of that identity piece of who am I in
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  this world? Who do I want to be? And for me, there was a lot
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  about the external validation. I was the good girl, oh, my God, I
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  can do it all. And I thrived upon that external validation.
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  And now that's what gets my juices going anymore.
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  Melinda Lee: Well, what if they're in the organisation,
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  many of the audience members here are in organisations or
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  corporate leaders. And it's they just keep on getting piled and
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  piled and piled to so many projects, because they're very
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  capable. And it has become their identity, where they're capable
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  leaders, and then they feel suddenly overwhelmed. Because
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  they're doing they're working really hard. And then someone
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  comes in says, Why didn't you do this? How come you didn't get
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  this done? And then, then it becomes a huge problem, because
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  they can't say no, because they've had this identity of
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  saying, yes. And then have you ever experienced that? Or?
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  Hanna Bankier: Yeah, for sure. And I think this idea that what
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  you're saying is they can't say no. If it's a false sense, yeah.
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  Because we have so much more choice than we think. Right? And
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  we're feeding into this image of, I can take on more, or this
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  is what I do, okay? It's what you do also, right, but it
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  doesn't have to be all that you are, right? It could be like,
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  Okay, I'm really going to excel. And I'm going to take on these
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  things. Because if you talk about the work setting, these
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  are the places that's going to take me to where I want to go in
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  my career. So I'm going to lean into those and I'm going to take
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  that on and there's going to be other things where I'm not the
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  best person for this. Right? Because I have capacity doesn't
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  mean that that's where I'm my highest best self. Right, right.
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  Or we can flip it and say if I continuously take on and do all
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  of these things, who else is not And I'm getting a chance to do
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  it.
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  Melinda Lee: Right, right. Like you said, people don't sit down
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  and really think about what am I saying yes to. They're really
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  they're just feeding into this vicious cycle really not
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  thinking because they're just going, going going. And so
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  pausing and thinking about what is the strategic? What makes the
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  most sense, like who am I? What what projects will cultivate the
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  strengths that I want to bring out? Is that right?
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  Hanna Bankier: Yeah, absolutely. Who am I in this time? In this
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  context? Uh huh. All right, I might be a different version and
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  more in game to take on things when it has to do with my kids,
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  then I might be at work or the wife Versa, or with my extended
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  family, or in my community, or my spiritual setting, whatever
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  that is. And it's like, okay, this is what I want to do right
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  here, right now, in this chapter of my life. And it doesn't mean
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  it's like that forever. You can, you know, write your next
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  chapter, you can switch, you can take another storyline, and you
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  can grow here. But this idea that we don't have choice and
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  really want to challenge, we have so much more choice than we
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  believe. And I think what most of us forget that you are
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  ultimately the CEO in your life. Right? Right. You decide, I love
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  that. And is there fear coming up? What happens? If I say no?
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  Am I gonna get punished? Are they not gonna like me, and this
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  is where I go back to FOMO, that fear of people's other people's
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  opinions, there's really none of your business. You are not
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  responsible for their reaction, you're not responsible for their
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  emotional response. If they have work to do if somebody gets
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  angry at you. Okay, they have work to do. That's not how we
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  conduct ourselves in a professional setting. Right? And
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  that's not your responsibility.
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  Melinda Lee: Right? Right. There is their emotion, their anger,
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  because they're frustrated for Whatever their reasons are. And
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  I love that you're the CEO of your own life. And you're the
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  CEO of your own feelings and your reactions to what they're
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  bringing to you or what's coming around and what's going on in
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  the world. Right. There's a lot going on. And so you ultimately
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  have the choice of your reaction, your feelings, and the
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  choice of whether to take things on or not because of yourself,
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  and listening to your body. Right? I mean, because you said,
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  you had to go through some health issues. And you know, and
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  so I think a lot of people don't take the time to really listen
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  to also to what is my body saying in this,
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  Hanna Bankier: that know your body communicates with you all
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  the time, right? If your back hurts, or if you're constantly
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  walking around with a headache, or like, it's telling you
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  something, it's not in alignment, something's off
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  quarterly, you're either not living according to your values,
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  or you're stretching yourself your battery's drain, if you
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  don't sleep well, and you wake up in the morning, it's like
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  grabbing your cell phone, and you start with 70% battery in
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  the morning, right? If that was your phone, you would be like,
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  Oh, no, I'm not going to tolerate that. But when it comes
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  to you, right, you start off at 70%. At the end of the day, you
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  come home, you spend time with your family, your loved ones,
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  this can not be a lot left. Right? So this really being
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  mindful of who and what is going to get your time and your energy
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  today. And how do I take care of me? So I have time and energy
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  for the things that really matter to me.
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  Melinda Lee: How do you help people identify how do people
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  start to identify what matters to them?
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  Hanna Bankier: Yeah, that's that's so crucial. Like when I
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  walked through this process, I started with that with a why,
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  you know, why is it so hard to say? No, like recognising your
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  pattern? Is it because I'm a people pleaser? Is it because
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  I'm a No at all? Is it like, what is it? And then we go into
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  the why? And we really spend time identifying what brings you
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  joy? If you were to remove everybody else's opinions, and
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  if you were to do it, like what is it that you really want to
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  say yes to? Do you want to go hiking every Sunday morning? Do
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  you want to be in this relationship? Do you want to
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  spend time with this person? Do you want to go for the
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  promotion? Like what do you want? What's your lifeforce?
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  What's your juice, like? And then we're looking at like, okay
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  to get to that. There needs to be some shifts. Right? And are
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  you ready to make those chairs? Pretend to just be where you are
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  today. Maybe you're fine. Maybe you just decide like, I don't
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  want to make this shift. And then just own that. If your
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  content and be content, I'm not going to tell you you're wrong,
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  right. This is your life. I want to set you up for success.
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  Right? So we go through the why the why and then we dive into
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  the how and really these strategies like how do I start
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  flexing these muscles and I think that is crucial.
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  Understanding, we're not going to flick flip a switch here.
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  Right? These are muscles, I call them the no muscles. So most of
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  us have not engaged since we were like maybe two or three
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  years old. Right? Anybody spending time with their
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  toddler? No, they have no problem using their no muscles,
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  right? You want to put PJs on? No, you want to eat your piece?
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  No. And then as we grow older, we lose, those muscles just
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  atrophy and we don't use them. So nobody would go to the gym
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  once and expect to walk out with a six pack. And I think it's
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  much like to come to flexing those diets, right? When it
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  comes to flexing those no muscles is like, yeah, it's
• 15:44
  little by little, and you're going to see incremental change,
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  and you're going to try out maybe low stakes thing, you
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  notice something or somebody where it doesn't feel super,
• 15:54
  super scary, right? And then you're gonna wrap it and you're
• 15:57
  gonna find your voice. And you're gonna be like, This is
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  what I want this congruent with me. And it might be something
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  that I am really passionate about, like, I love to dance,
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  okay, you don't have to go dancing, right? But that's
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  what's important to me. And we're all unique individuals,
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  and we all have our values, we all have our priorities. So
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  allowing ourselves realising what happens if I don't say no.
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  I'm going to continue being in the space where I'm not content.
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  And I feel drained and depleted and overwhelmed and exhausted.
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  And if we can switch that to a place of ease, and well being
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  keeping your sanity, like not running yourself ragged. And
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  just like that is that is your life. And you can have that for
• 16:50
  the rest of your life. If you start making those switches
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  right now.
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  Melinda Lee: What if, for me, I'm thinking about I want to
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  take more vacations, I don't take enough vacations. And I
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  also thinking there's a conflict because if I take too many
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  vacations, I'm spending more money, and then I'm not working
• 17:07
  on my business and I'm losing money there. What do you do when
• 17:10
  there's a there's a fear, I'm going to lose the something over
• 17:14
  here. And usually when you're saying yes to something, you're
• 17:16
  you are losing something, you're saying no to something. So I'm
• 17:19
  saying no to my work, which equates to money in the bank?
• 17:22
  What what do you do with that?
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  Hanna Bankier: Yeah, it's so true. You're totally right on,
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  like, by saying yes to something we say no to something else. And
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  you know, we have 24 hours, all of us every day, it's not 32
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  It's not 28. It's the same 24. So where and how do I want to
• 17:39
  spend that? And I think in this particular example that you're
• 17:43
  bringing forth is what kind of occasion and or rather like, how
• 17:48
  do you restore and rejuvenate and rest? And is that an
• 17:53
  everyday? Is that making sure that the weekends are protected?
• 17:59
  Is that three weeks in Bali? Like what does that look like?
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  And how can you then figure out because there's this natural
• 18:08
  tension between I want the restore and rejuvenation, and I
• 18:12
  want the financial safety? And how, what's the hierarchy there?
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  And it doesn't become an either or becomes a both? And so is it
• 18:24
  worth for you to put in like three weeks of 60 hour work
• 18:27
  weeks and run yourself ragged to then be able to take a week
• 18:30
  vacation? And is that then actually giving you the
• 18:34
  restorative riveting rejuvenation that you're looking
• 18:37
  for? Are you just so exhausted that when you come home from
• 18:40
  your vacation, you need another week because, you know, the
• 18:43
  runway is is off? So it's about finding that, you know, I have
• 18:49
  mixed feelings about work life balance, but I would say work
• 18:52
  like integration. And how do you get the restorative? And how do
• 18:58
  you get the financial security because when you're stressing
• 19:01
  about money, it's very hard to rely. Right? So in this in your
• 19:08
  particular case, I would say what's the hierarchy? And is it
• 19:11
  about saving up time and money to be able to do one long trip a
• 19:15
  year? Or is it to take every other Friday off or let it get a
• 19:19
  long weekend and measuring that and I think there are times when
• 19:22
  we do little spreads and work and especially as a business
• 19:25
  owner, you do your spreads your nose down, and you're focused
• 19:29
  like like a laser beam and you just do it, but that's not
• 19:32
  sustainable to do for months and months or years on end. So
• 19:37
  figuring out that ebb and flow and then also, which is
• 19:42
  something I really admired what you do really well is this,
• 19:45
  trusting the process. It is there and it's gonna come and if
• 19:52
  you take, you know, a Friday off, that's not going to derail
• 19:57
  the path that you're on or the impact that you're have a right
• 20:01
  it's there. Oh, yeah, be fine.
• 20:04
  Melinda Lee: I'm in full belief. And the interesting thing is
• 20:06
  when I used to run myself ragged and keep on pushing, pushing,
• 20:09
  pushing, I noticed that not only am I exhausted, I don't know,
• 20:14
  yeah, I'm not sure if it really got me faster, quicker. And then
• 20:19
  I realised that when I do pause, I do allow for spaciousness. In
• 20:25
  just allowing the fruits of my labour, I just did an XYZ for
• 20:29
  two weeks. A lot of times the results come in the following
• 20:33
  week, oh, people are calling me the right people are calling me
• 20:36
  like allowing for that to just happen. And that's what as
• 20:39
  women, we need, like we will receive it, we receive the magic
• 20:42
  or we receive the opportunities and being more open to that,
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  because I think going back to just how we've been conditioned,
• 20:49
  is always pushing, pushing, pushing, and what we want to
• 20:54
  start to help people understand a shift. And I believe that too,
• 20:57
  even with just speaking, when we say something, when we speak
• 21:00
  something allowing for the opportunities that come when but
• 21:04
  noticing them opening your, your heart and your mind to it.
• 21:09
  That's what I'm hearing.
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  Hanna Bankier: Absolutely. And I think you know, you, you and I
• 21:12
  both know, like, in and we all are wired with negativity bias.
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  Yeah, because every five seconds, our brain goes and just
• 21:21
  looks for the negative stuff. And then we make up stories and
• 21:24
  we fill in the gaps and, and that negativity bias was served
• 21:27
  us for 1000s of years like this is why we're still here as human
• 21:31
  species. But it doesn't necessarily serve us in our day
• 21:34
  to day, when it comes to what is that next stress level? What am
• 21:39
  I going to do? So finding ways to calming your nervous system?
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  Really focusing? How do I charge my battery backup every day?
• 21:48
  Little by little? Do you need, you know, 20 minute nap at three
• 21:51
  o'clock? Do you need a meditation? Do you go out for a
• 21:55
  walk? Like, what are those things that really serve us?
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  Like I've been meditating for, I don't know, 1015 years by now
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  like, and people are like, I don't have time. And I said, I
• 22:05
  would not have time not to do it. Right? Because it centres
• 22:09
  me, I'm clear, I make better decisions. my stress level
• 22:14
  doesn't go up and I wasted tonnes of energy on some stress.
• 22:17
  And I can just come back to the moment and be here with you. As
• 22:21
  opposed to thinking about like, what am I going to cook for
• 22:23
  dinner today? Or am I gonna pick up my kids? Like, no, I'm, I'm
• 22:26
  here, right now, though, the charging the battery to really
• 22:31
  then make those wise choices and the decisions. And that goes
• 22:35
  back to this thing of saying no. How do you spend your time and
• 22:38
  your energy? Not every opportunity that comes your way
• 22:42
  is the right opportunity for you
• 22:44
  Melinda Lee: No, definitely not.
• 22:45
  Hanna Bankier: Definitely every ask that comes is going to be
• 22:48
  the right thing. Right, you know, and then having like when
• 22:52
  people go through my programme, they walk away. And they have
• 22:55
  you know, a few ways of saying, you know, I give them about 40
• 22:58
  of them. And then you have a couple of say pick two or three
• 23:01
  of your favourites keep them in your back pocket.
• 23:04
  Melinda Lee: Which what's a one a couple of your favourites?
• 23:06
  Yeah,
• 23:07
  Hanna Bankier: well, you know, it is is fascinating. In the
• 23:10
  English language, we have this word, it is two letters. It's
• 23:14
  called No. And it really is a complete sentence, right? And
• 23:18
  somehow it is one of them or just wants to say a word, it's
• 23:22
  not even hard to pronounce. So if you're in that space, and you
• 23:28
  have this clarity, and somebody brings you an opportunity or
• 23:31
  request or an Ask, and you just know, it's it's no, then just
• 23:37
  say that. Well, the key in that point is to how do you deliver
• 23:42
  it? Right? And are you calm? Are you clear? Are you kind? Are you
• 23:48
  concise? All of these things were communication skills,
• 23:51
  because how you deliver your know, really is going to impact
• 23:55
  the response you're getting. So there's there's a lot there. But
• 24:00
  another one is
• 24:03
  Melinda Lee: Can I just go too quick. And I think that what
• 24:06
  you're saying is when you have your y very clearly defined,
• 24:10
  then you can bring in that know with such certainty and
• 24:13
  kindness. Because that's the key because a lot of times we we've
• 24:17
  been saying yes for so long. And finally we say no. And then all
• 24:21
  this anger and frustration come up and then everybody else gets
• 24:23
  angry. And so that's what we remember about those noes. And
• 24:27
  that's how we associate with those nose is all those times
• 24:30
  where we had been frustrated and the other person gets upset. And
• 24:33
  so and so when you take this time right now to understand
• 24:36
  your why and be so clear about it, and then having all the
• 24:40
  strategies under your belt then you can just say no with this
• 24:44
  call kindness. And then people feel that calm kindness and
• 24:48
  they're like,
• 24:48
  Hanna Bankier: Okay, yeah, and people respect you in a couple
• 24:52
  of different ways. There's nothing to argue with because
• 24:54
  you don't start in this defence mode. Right? You start in like,
• 24:58
  No, right? On Fridays, we have dinner as a family, I'm not
• 25:02
  available, like whether you choose to explain it or not. But
• 25:05
  these are my values. And our values is that on Friday nights,
• 25:09
  this is what we do. So I cannot do that. You know. So going back
• 25:13
  to like some other easy example, sometimes if you just want to
• 25:17
  buy yourself some time to say that, even if you don't know,
• 25:21
  necessarily, or it feels awkward or tricky to say in the moment,
• 25:25
  it's just like, let me check my calendar, or I want to check
• 25:28
  with my with my partner, and I'll get back to you. I think
• 25:31
  key here is to really do get back to people and not leave
• 25:34
  them hanging, right? We're not looking to start ghosting
• 25:36
  people, but to just say it, and then maybe that next step
• 25:40
  communication is via text or an email, and it might feel easier
• 25:45
  to communicate it that way. Right.
• 25:47
  Melinda Lee: Okay. Got it. Yes, yes. Yeah. So if you're not in
• 25:50
  for the person, then you use a text or email.
• 25:52
  Hanna Bankier: Yeah. And just like, hey, I checked, sorry, I'm
• 25:54
  not available. Yeah. You don't need an explanation. Yeah.
• 25:58
  Anybody is free to ask you. Yeah, that's great. We need
• 26:03
  help. We need things from other people. We're social human
• 26:06
  being, but you don't owe them an automatic. Yes. And if that's
• 26:12
  having dinner with your family on Friday is more important than
• 26:14
  doing something else, then that's your value. That's fine.
• 26:18
  You're good. That's all you need. Because you know, you,
• 26:22
  right? And sometimes we say yes, because we don't want to
• 26:25
  disappoint others. But my question to you then is what's
• 26:28
  worth? Disappointing somebody else, or continuously
• 26:33
  disappointing yourself? That's powerful. And you wouldn't do
• 26:38
  that. If that was your best friend, you wouldn't constantly
• 26:41
  walk out and disappoint your best friend. No. Are you your
• 26:45
  best friend? Right, right? Yes, you're looking out for you. What
• 26:49
  do you need in this moment? Right. And you're good, right?
• 26:55
  less
• 26:56
  Melinda Lee: powerful, so powerful. And I know my mom is
• 26:59
  here, because she barely said, Yes. She's here today with this
• 27:04
  teaching. Her immune system was not she just barely said yes.
• 27:07
  And so it did not do well for health. So no, one last
• 27:11
  question. Yeah, the key ingredient to help us unleash
• 27:17
  our voice and say, No.
• 27:21
  Hanna Bankier: What do you say? I would say? Yeah, I would say I
• 27:23
  mean, I tend to have ideas, but to just name a couple, I would
• 27:27
  definitely say claiming that like, if you know, what's right
• 27:32
  for you, you know, so claim that. And then secondly, again,
• 27:39
  you need to start practising. Without the practice, it is not
• 27:42
  just going to come like that, as much as I wish that for you. It
• 27:46
  is going to be an intentional shift. And then you're going to
• 27:49
  be knowing, and when you're in that power, you're not going to
• 27:54
  be questioned the same way. Because you're not explaining
• 27:57
  yourself. You're not coming up with excuses. You're calm,
• 28:01
  you're kind and saying this was available for me, this is not
• 28:04
  available for me. And then you have it.
• 28:09
  Melinda Lee: And it takes muscle, it takes work. I'm
• 28:11
  thinking about my mom, there's it was so hard for her. And a
• 28:15
  lot of people especially because we care, we want to care about
• 28:18
  our people, and we want to support people and and so when
• 28:21
  people need help leaders need help, which I'm sure that they
• 28:24
  would just like they need help at the gym with the trainer. How
• 28:28
  do they get a hold of you? What do you tell us more about what
• 28:31
  you have going on, Hannah?
• 28:32
  Hanna Bankier: Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I want to just say one
• 28:35
  more thing, it is so true that we have, it's easy to just like,
• 28:39
  I'll do this. And they'll do this. And I'll do that. But
• 28:41
  here's the honest truth. If your car is running on empty, you
• 28:46
  cannot pick up more passengers. Right? There. It really starts
• 28:51
  with you. There's no you're gonna just drain and you're
• 28:54
  going to exhaust and then you have in this place where all
• 28:57
  these people are dependent on you, they haven't started
• 28:59
  flexing their own independence muscles and you haven't put down
• 29:01
  their bags, you carrying it at all. And then when you go out,
• 29:05
  the entire system is gonna fall apart. Totally starting with you
• 29:09
  is really like the key. But yes, so what am I doing I am super
• 29:14
  passionate about this, like, this is one of my absolute jams.
• 29:18
  So coming from that place, I'm inviting any listener who wants
• 29:22
  to take a deeper dive. And I'm going to make it specific offer
• 29:27
  a special offer for the speaking flow listeners, which is a 20%
• 29:31
  discount code to my online course called no is a complete
• 29:35
  sentence. And you will go to my website called Working Solutions
• 29:41
  group.com and you'll find it there and then your discount
• 29:46
  code is called Speak in flow 2023 And it will be available
• 29:51
  for another two weeks to buy at that awesome price. And then
• 29:56
  really making that investment in you like you can start that
• 29:59
  shift To end it's going to be worth, it's gonna pay off
• 30:02
  dividends over and over and over again. And you're gonna get your
• 30:05
  joy and your time and your energy back. And I really want
• 30:08
  that for you. So buy it in the next two weeks. And then you
• 30:13
  have till the end of the year to take the actual course, and it's
• 30:15
  self paced, and it will you can do it in three weeks or less.
• 30:19
  And if you want to like up it, you can then also combine it and
• 30:22
  take it with individual coaching sessions with me to really
• 30:28
  figure out like, are you getting stuck? Or are you getting stuck?
• 30:30
  And how are we going to bridge that? And it makes for a perfect
• 30:33
  gift. Because I'm sure you like I we all have some people that
• 30:37
  we know that would be benefiting from say, you know, to take care
• 30:41
  of themselves.
• 30:42
  Melinda Lee: Oh my gosh, so many people, so many people are
• 30:45
  running on overwhelm anxiety, and they are they're just keep
• 30:49
  on going and going and they're renting that's like their day to
• 30:51
  day. And so stop the madness, like get, you know, help you
• 30:55
  help yourself help others. I know, my mom wish she could have
• 30:58
  done that for herself. And she passed away in 2016. Because she
• 31:03
  was always saying yes, I know that. I mean, I'm not gonna say
• 31:06
  that. That's the ultimate reason. But I know that that was
• 31:09
  not good for her health, constantly doing for others
• 31:13
  constantly not speaking up enough. And so you're worth it.
• 31:17
  You're worth in real life, you're gonna look back, you are
• 31:21
  the CEO or the CEO of your life, blow your look back in life and
• 31:24
  say, Wow, I did it. I did it. And I was healthy. And I was who
• 31:28
  I wanted to be living this life and people around me were
• 31:32
  supporting me and helping me and allowing them to do that for
• 31:36
  you. We deserve that. Yeah. That's so amazing. Thank you,
• 31:41
  Hannah, for sharing that amazing gift for our audience members.
• 31:44
  And so go ahead and grab that discount code. Hurry up. And
• 31:49
  we'll see you on the other side. Thank you, Hannah, on the show.
• 31:53
  Thank you so much. It was super fun.
• 31:55
  Hanna Bankier: Thank you for having me. I had a blast. Yay.