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Matt Green -Balancing Ambition and Fatherhood · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad's show.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Hey everybody, this is Casey Jaycox and welcome to season five.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: I'm very excited for this episode.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: I'm also very excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor to the podcast our friends Lauren Jones and Rob Mann over at Leap Advisory Partners.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: I could not be more excited and thrilled that you're going to be sponsoring this for the next 13 weeks.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Let's hear a little bit more about what you guys are doing from Lauren.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Leap Advisory Partners is proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Our first core value is empathy, always, and that's why we're proud to sponsor the Quarterback Dadcast for the most authentic discussions around failure, success, leadership, empathy, leading with empathy.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: If you're not familiar with Leap Advisory Partners, we are your technology partners to help you build with excellence, change your process and adopt your most important investment.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Now let's get to today's episode with Casey Jaycox.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Well, hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: We are in season five and, for those that are watching this on video, thank you for not just listening in your car but actually going to YouTube or wherever you consume your video podcast.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: But I'm glad that I did not let the start stop me from changing and trying something new, and so I'm really loving the video aspect.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Hopefully you guys are too.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: But our next guest is someone I'm very excited to talk to.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I've heard about him and his company for a while and and and and.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Don't hold this against him, but he is friends with Keith Waitman, a former guest in the podcast that might have teared up, but so did I tear up recently, keith, on a recent episode, so you can make fun of me too.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: And also a new friend named Todd Capone.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: He'll be a future guest and Todd's a really good friend of our next guest, which his name's Matt Green.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: He's the chief revenue officer, founder of Sales Assembly, which is a company that I think is doing fantastic work for helping sales teams teach a lot of stuff.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: That doesn't come easy, but they make it look easy, so we're going to learn more about that.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: He's a Seattle U grad.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: He's an investor but, more importantly, he's a dad, and we're going to listen and learn from Matt how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his house.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: So, without further ado, mr Green, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: I appreciate you having me, casey, I'm really looking forward to this.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Keith has said amazing things about you and about his experience here, so, yeah, I'm really excited to join and thank you for creating this environment for dads to come and jam with each other.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's important.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: I think it's important that we as dads I know some men are still stuck in the 1920s where they're like you can't cry, you wussy, and like it's just this rough and tough.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: But I mean so last week I'm now a week out from dropping my son off at college and for the first two days it was like I watched the saddest episode of Punky Rooster every day.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I mean just watershed and I mean I could give two shits Like I mean I miss, like I could give two shits Like I mean it's I miss my dude, you know.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: And for all the dads who have gone through it, you know what I'm talking about, for the parents who don't slow down, enjoy the moments.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Um, I know they're cliches, but when you get one that goes out of the house, it's it's different everybody.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: So I would just warn you about that.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: But anyway, before we get, too far into this.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: we always start each episode gratitude.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Um, you know I'm I'm probably biased.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Well, number one I'm grateful that I am a dad in general.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: I mean just that that in and of itself is something that, um, yeah, that I'm extremely grateful for.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: And you know, if I spend any time with a little bit of self-introspection, you know, it's seems to be and I'm sure I hope that a good amount of dads feel this way it's like one of the few things if the only thing if not the only thing that I feel as though I was kind of built to do.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: I think I'm halfway decent at it.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: So there's that in and of itself, and you know my wife and I chat about it all the time.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: We're extremely grateful that our son is so awesome, right, you know?
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: Now, fingers crossed, he just turned 12.
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: And sure you know, with throughout the course of those 12 years, there have been challenges, like you know, like any other family and any other growing kid.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: Um, but, uh, but yeah, so far, net net, he's been just a pleasure to to be around.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: So again, fingers crossed it it remains that way you've kept him out of jail, so you're proud of that is what you're saying.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so far that might just be right around the corner.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: You never know know If I jinx you dude, it's so my fault and I apologize, but I think he's going to be safe.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: So what I'm grateful for?
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: So this past we're recording just after Labor Day, everybody.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: And this past my daughter turned 16.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: In a couple of days.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: She got a new whip which she was all loving about.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: So we got her a nice used and I just realized what a whip was like two years ago for the record from dad's at their home.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Um, I was like why would you get a whip?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's a car.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Um, but what I'm grateful for is we had five of her closest friends um spent time with us in eastern washington and the laughter.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Uh, and this group of this group of girls who are like so eclectic and different interests and some are athletes, some are not, and but it's like they it's it was such a cool, like something to watch, cause like they put all that aside and they just accept each other for who they are and none of the other stuff matters.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: And they just had like old school fun, from laughing, from doing stuff in the pool to just acting like girls, like goofy girls without technology, and just like it was the coolest moment.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: My wife and I were just watching like man this is.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I don't remember seeing a group of girls that get along this well.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Even I asked her.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I said, right, do you ever have like drama?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: She's like no, dad, we zero.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: It's just like we all.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: So it's like you know like drama.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: She's like no dad, we zero.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: It's just like we all.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: So it's like you know, like that's something to like.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: I was like I'm striving for like keep surrounding myself with people that make me better, that challenge me to be the best version of me, um, that put me in spots where I can be vulnerable to say, hey, man, I'm struggling, or I'm, I'm god, I was a dipshit today, or I, god, I didn't like how you know, like and I and can do that.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: So it was really, it was really neat to just to watch from afar as a dad.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: No, that's, that's great to hear.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: I do have to say, however, speaking of being an addiction, how do you not know what a whip is Like?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Even I know that.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, if we're talking about, like Riz and you know Sigma and you know some of these other terms that the kids are thrown out these days, that stuff goes over my head, but I thought that whip was well-established.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely knew what a whip was a couple of years ago now, but I joked with her this year.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I was like man, what's a whip, honey?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And she was like dad, I'm joking, but literally a couple of years ago when that first came out, I'm like why do they call a car a whip?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Actually, I learned it from get a song called ghost, ride the whip and uh, you're gonna learn.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: You gotta learn from the best you know.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Right, exactly my guy from seattle.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Um, all right, man, well, bring me inside the matt green huddle.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: You're the.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: You're either the quarterback or the general manager.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: I'm guessing your wife's general manager most great marriages.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I hate that.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: She's uh she's the she's the board of directors so bring me inside, uh, the huddle, tell me a little bit about, um, the family dynamics and uh.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: And then I'd love to learn how you and your wife met.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, um, god, where to begin?
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: So, family dynamics you know it's God, it's pretty simple and straightforward.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: I mean, we only have one child.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: You know, our son, liam.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Um, my wife Tabitha.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: We met during the end of my second year, the end of her third year, at Seattle.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: U met at a party and, yeah, we've been together ever since, got married young, so I'm 42.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: We just celebrated our 20th anniversary back in May of this year.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, so we've been together for a while.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: And yeah, family dynamic I mean that pretty broad.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, what if you could give me a little bit of direction?
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: Like, hey, you know you'd like to learn more about this or that.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, west, I'm just going to ramble all day long about stuff that neither you nor anybody listening is going to care, Rambling sometimes.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Good, You'd be surprised, but I'll put up the bumpers.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: I always like to learn.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Tell us a little bit about Liam and things he's interested to.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: What does a day in the life look like for the greenhousehold?
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: And if there's a story of how you and your wife met at that party that the audience might find interesting, go ahead and feel free to share.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I'll start with a story.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: So we're at a party that yeah, that I was not planning on going to because it was towards the end of the year and studying and plus, I'm just not like a party person in general.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: A couple of my friends convinced me to go.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: She was there, she was heavily inebriated.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: The first thing that she did and I never met her before she had just come up and kissed me.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, okay, well, it's going to be, you know, going to be a halfway decent night.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: You know the trick has been just, you know, keeping her enumerated for the past.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: You know, 25 years it's a long buzz, yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: But no, that's how we met and you know we just kind of hit it off from there.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Liam, yeah, what to say about Liam?
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I mean, he is, you know, when you think of and again this will sound like I'm bragging, but to be clear, I don't think that I play really any hand in this he's just an all-around good kid and you know he does well in school.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: He plays a handful of sports.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: He's one of those kids that's not great at any sport but he's, you know, average to slightly above average at a few of them, soccer being the one that he's, you know, stuck primarily with.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: But you know he's not going to get a scholarship, you know, for any of the sports that he plays, but you know he remains active.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: You know he reads a lot, but he has this really great group of friends.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: He seems to be extremely popular in school because they keep voting in class president.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: You know, I think he was yeah, last year was his fourth year of being elected class president.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: Again, all while just you know does well in school.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Class president Again, all while just you know does well in school.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: He, like I said at the top, he's not more, or you know, he's not more trouble than I presume any other 11, just turned 12 year old boy is in this day and age.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: I mean he.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: So, again, you know, he's, he's perfect.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: So when going back, circling back to the top about gratitude, I know that I'm extremely grateful for that because I know from friends that I have, or just in my travels in general, that some people they, you know that they deal with more challenges with their kids in different areas of their lives and I like to think that so far we've been fortunate enough to not have to deal with many of those challenges.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: No, I love it, man.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: That's something to really be grateful for.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I definitely, when you said that made me think about friends I have in my life where they didn't do anything different from afar, but they're dealing with some difficult times.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: I even think about my family dynamics growing up Like you got one child.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Does this one child does that Like from afar?
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: Parents did the same thing, but is it maybe how we're wired?
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: You know, I think yeah.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: I'm a big believer.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: That's why I mentioned before I don't take any credit for this.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: I'm a big believer and, to be clear, I'm not a lot of things Last.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Thing.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: I am is a scientist or a geneticist, but I think that kids are who they are, right by and large, and parents I mean to to use the term that you threw out a few moments ago you could put bumpers right in different areas, but they're going to be who they're going to be.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean, you know I'm one of three brothers.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: We're all wildly different.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: You know my younger brother right below me I'm the second oldest.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: He you know by well, not my son's age, but maybe a couple of years ahead of my son.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: Again, you know he was getting arrested.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: You know he was getting expelled from school, Right?
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: So you know he.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: You know my parents and him had to deal with a lot of challenges and, as you mentioned a moment ago, it's not like.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: You know he was the third of four boys.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: You know my parents didn't dramatically raise him different in the same household.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: You know that.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Uh, that they did for any of my other brothers, that's just.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: You know, people turn out differently.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Um, I have a family member that we married into, like one of the one of my.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: One of them was a, like you know, B stud executive, uh, high up in law enforcement, and then his brother has been in the big house for like 40 years.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: It's like what in the hell makes no sense, but it's um it's happened, it happens, it's yeah, well, I've not gone to the big house yet and I don't want to, and I hope you don't spend any time in the future either.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: Let's.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: Let's just get that out there now, before people start thinking we're in jail, like doing this interview from from the big house, which we're not.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: Um, okay, so, tabitha, I love the fact that you threw her, said that she was just completely blitz when you first met, and that's fantastic.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: I can only imagine my wife was I, don't?
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: She not, not a bit.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And I was not blitz Cause we met in seventh grade.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: If she was blitz, that'd be a totally different interview for different podcasts.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: But, but we got married young too Um 20, I was 22 as well.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, wow.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: And then, yeah, it's crazy, but, um, anyway, well, cool.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Well, you mentioned your.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: You got three brothers.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Um, I love.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I always like learning from my guests about what was life like growing up and to talk about the impact your parents had on you, now that you're a dad and and all these things you're doing.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: So maybe share what was life like growing up with the three green brothers and then share a little bit more about what your mom and dad did.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, growing up, well, like I said, I mean we're all extremely different, all four of us my older brother, who's now a teacher and a school administrator.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: Younger brother below me below me, um, works in a welding really great with his hands.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: Youngest brother went to NYU film school and now he, you know for a lot of the trailers that you might watch when you go to the movies.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: You know he and his company, you know they edit, you know they put together a lot of those trailers, which is a which really cool.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: But, um, growing up, yeah, I mean, we all were, just again, wildly different.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: We did very different things.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: The one common thread of connectivity or thing that at least brought us closer together physically and not necessarily in a good way, is my younger brother, andrew, and I, the one who went through some challenges.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: Uh, there was maybe god, I'd say a four or five year period where just every day something would set us off and it'd just be he and I just get into fistfights, right and you know in retrospect, it'd be just stupid teenager shit.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: you know you walk home it's like, hey, you know you're looking at me the wrong way.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: It's like, all right, well, let's, you know, let's duke it out.
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: Or like you know, you fouled me too hard in basketball, so let's, you know, start rolling around on the driveway.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: But you know my parents, you know they yeah, they were both working nonstop.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: You know my dad started he barely graduated high school, didn't go to college, was kind of an old hoodlum.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Him and his buddies back when he was growing up I think it was his mid-20s got a job as a bank teller and then, slowly but surely, over the course of 40 years, worked his way up just in that industry to retire at the age of 65 or so at a senior level position within Bank of Hawaii.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: My mom worked for a really interesting company called California Microwave, which was basically like you know, we might want to consider a contractor for the CIA and NSA.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: So I mean, she had purview just as a secretary, right, but you know she had, you know, purview just as a secretary, right, but you know she was surrounded by a lot of really cool stuff.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: But then, you know, later on in life, you know, just kind of bounced around like hey, you know, I'm going to be a real estate agent, I'm going to do this, going to do that just as a way to make money, which we didn't really have much of.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: She did end up getting a job as the secretary to the principal of a small private school where we grew up, which afforded my brothers and I free tuition, which was great Because, yeah, outside of that, although we had what we needed we had clothes on our back, food in our belly, all that good stuff didn't really have much money at all.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: So if there's one thing that I saw my parents or that you know, I like to think that I took away from my parents and I'm hopefully trying to find ways to instill in my son is just the work ethic and the value of hard work, because, yeah, I mean, my dad especially was, yeah, just work like a madman just to make sure that my three brothers and I had whatever it was that we needed, within reason, of course.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: So when your mom went to work for the school, was that strategic in the fact that, or did it just like she get the job?
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh wow, I get this too.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: This is amazing.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, more of the the latter, just happenstance Right.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: And then you fast forward a couple of years.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: It was not at all embarrassing when her son gets expelled from that school while she works there.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: But again, you know that's.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: That's a different story.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Your mom, she's a saint, uh, four boys and uh, but like, think about the patience, though, and the forgiveness I mean that.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Have you ever thought about you and your brothers ever talked about that Like the, the power of forgiveness?
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, we, we did a little bit.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: So my, my mom, passed, it's about two years ago, a little over two years ago, and you know it was very sudden.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I mean, you know it was just here today, you know, gone to tomorrow, sort of thing.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: And you know, I think the suddenness, you know, as does I think any death in a family right, especially with parents, you know, would bring siblings together and you start talking about things that maybe you didn't feel were important enough to talk about before.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: On the concept of guilt and forgiveness, my younger brother, andrew, who I mentioned a few times before, he took it the hardest right and you know, because he had all those challenges, or maybe caused all those challenges to my parents during his teenage years and into his early 20s.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: But you know, even despite that, you know they had invested a good amount of time and resources into getting him therapy.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Long story short, you know they realized that.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: You know he was just depressed for a long time and as they were able to work through that he became better and they had a really great relationship.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: So they had a really great relationship for, you know, 20 years post that, that troubling period, but still, I mean when you lose a parent, especially suddenly, it's natural for everyone especially my brother, you know to just internalize like crap.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: You know why was I such an asshole, like you know, even though we, we knew we loved each other.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: You know I didn't have a chance to apologize, you know, one last time that kind of stuff Right.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: So you know, situations like that, you know, did provide us or maybe did force, see each other occasionally on holidays or we'll text each other on each other's birthday, but outside of that we don't maintain really close ties with each other for no good reason whatsoever.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: It's just not a motion that we ever settled into.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you wish it was different?
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: You know I do sometimes.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: Um, yeah, I mean I.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: On the one hand, I don't think about it a lot, but on the other hand, when someone like you asked me the question, it's like, yeah, sure, because what would be the downside of being closer with uh, with my brothers, and, by extension, having my son be closer with his cousins, for instance?
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: yeah, I, I ask, I mean I, I have a, I have a sister and we're not super close.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: We, I mean we're great growing up, um, but just, I mean we could talk about two different peas in a pod Like we couldn't.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: There's so much we're alike.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I mean like we're, we both can quote pretty much every line of Caddyshack, which is a useless skill but a very great skill to have in life.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: Not useless, just to be clear.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: But yeah, thank you, I'm going to update LinkedIn later today then with that, but, but there's so many things I wish that, like you know, that the kids don't have, like the the aunt, we don't see her close to, we don't see each other often, um, you know, same thing, text on birthdays, text on holidays, um, you know, and as a dad with a you know son in college now and a daughter's junior, I, they're really close, um, they snap and text each other all the time and they soup, you know, goofy personalities, but I, I just I hope I, I mean, as they keep in order, we just I'm just encouraging them to, like you know, one family, you know, and just like, embrace these relationships.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: And you know I can't, I can't want it for them, just like in business, you can't want it for your teams, but they have to.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: So I try to like ask the right questions, to like create the future state of what.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: So I try to like ask the right questions, to like create the this future state of what, what I want them to realize, which is, you know with more I obviously more mature than them, but like thinking about like hey, you got aunts and uncles and vacations maybe, and you know when she turns 21, are you going to be there to support her or her if she goes and plays hoop or he goes, whatever you know, whatever he is he's, I'm hopeful that my kids are closer than my, me and my sister.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: Just I think it's.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: I think with relationship, usually nothing.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: If they're good relationships, those are good things that have in life, um, but um, yeah, but even if they're not necessarily good relationships, you know what?
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: so my son again is an only son.
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: Um, you know we, we had planned on, you know, grandmaster, plan was having more than one.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: You know at least two.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: And I remember someone, a friend of mine, said something to me.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: This was right after I had my son and I was talking with him about you know the reasons why.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: You know we're, you know, going to essentially kind of forced to stick with with one.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: And you know he made a good point tying this all one.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: And you know he made a good point tying this all back together to you know more of a topic, you know death of a parent.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: He said, hey, you know I get it, but he's like you know my you know, my dad just died.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: You know, I think it was six months prior, and he's like if I didn't have my brother to share that grief with right, even though he and his brother weren't necessarily close he's like it would have been exponentially tougher on me.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: And you know, and stuff like that, I mean intuitively, like add, it makes sense.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: It's even even if there is a lack of a really strong relationship that is the kind that you and I were chatting about before, like hey, perfect world, everything would be like this.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: There is still a relationship right that people could potentially lean on.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I, I were.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: He made me think of another story.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: So, like, I was there.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: Well, one, I'm sorry about your mom.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I've lost a parent too.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: I know what that's like.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: My, my, yours sounds like it was sudden, mine was, my dad was like a slow, like I hate to use a phrase like a paper cup, but just like a just a slow uh, declining health from really my for my whole married life.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Um, and my dad finally passed away in 20, december 29th, 2021, um of a rap sheet of of stuff, but I was there for his last breath and I'm grateful for that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: And um, you know, I, I sometimes I worry for my sis because she was not there.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Um, she didn't she want to come up.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: She was, she was for a lot of multitude reasons, but, um, I think those are one of those things you, you, I mean I can't, I don't want it.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Everyone's got their own decisions to make, but, like you know, dealing with my dad had dementia and Alzheimer's and so like trying to reason with the unreasonable at times.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: And you know, I mean at one point, my dad accused me of stealing all of his money to build our house in 2014, which is not true everybody, but like having that, to be able to kind of like separate that from like reality and you know, like whatever this is my dad's somewhere in there still, and trying to like just process that was a challenging thing.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: So I'm sure that as we're talking about this, I'm hoping there's a dad or mom or someone listening at home that says, wow, we've gone through similar stuff too, and that's really the big thing.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: When I started this podcast five years ago, matt was a great space for have conversations, that we all got stuff and as much as you know, investors, cro, things I'm doing.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Like in the end, our kids don't care, like I'm a big believer that they don't.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: We as dads sometimes think so because our ego gets in the way, but in the end it's their writers like hey, dad, I'm going to go to Jackson's.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Or hey, can we go shoot?
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: They don't want to.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: Hey, dad, how was your podcast today?
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: How many books you sold today, dad?
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: They could give two shits.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, you know.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: So how are?
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: your meetings today I'm like, oh good, yeah, thanks for asking, right, but yeah, outside of that, I'm sure you could care less about.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm doing and jamming about day to day.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny when we work from home.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: During the COVID shenanigans, I remember I felt like my son and daughter were like almost like my sales manager.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: They'd be like, hey dad, how many calls you have today?
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what's with the metrics?
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Jesus, leave me alone.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: It's called accountability right and it lasts forever.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: So you should be proud of that.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: They sent me a report, they said my words per minute typing were down and they put me in the backseat of the car and just let me have it Top talk-listen yeah, the talk-listen ratio right, that's good.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's room for improvement there.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I got to be honest.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I'm the Director of Talent Management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way call center distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: He lives what he teaches.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about Cowork Staffing, please visit our website at CoworkStaffingcom.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, so your pops you said you learned a lot from his work ethic and to going from barely graduating high school not going to college to a retired executive is pretty cool story.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Describe where do you think that grit and resilience and fortitude came from and what really kind of resonated with you now that you're a business leader.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: I think part of it is necessity, or at least maybe that you know.
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: I presume that I'm correct, but I also admit that part of that might just be my projection.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: I mean, and I'm sure you probably feel, as you know, the in a very similar way.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, and I'm sure you probably feel, as you know, in a very similar way.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: I mean, when you're a father or parent, it's like you're just automatically handed in my opinion, blessed but you're handed this enormous sense of responsibility, right and accountability to be, honest.
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: If we did want to talk about generational shifts and how people thought about their responsibility in the household, right, you know my dad was born in 1946.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: So you know he was raised by people it was like, no, I mean, you know you gotta like your number one job as as a man is going to be to provide for your family, right, and you know that and I'm sure maybe you could tell me.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: You know I'll ask the question how you feel about this.
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: I feel as though that's kind of hardwired into me as well.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: Right, and that's proven by the fact that you know there have been more than one instance in my life where I've been you know it's my role how I bring in income has just suddenly, just gone away, and what I felt at the time was less about less being upset at the company or any individual.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: It's more of a sense of embarrassment.
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: Right, you know, well, you know I got this responsibility right, you know how.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: How am I going to?
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: How am I going to make sure that I'm doing my number one job as a father, which and you know, by extension, you know father as the male head of the household, and I hate it if that sounds like old fashioned, but it's, you know, the male head of the household and I hate if that sounds like old fashioned, but it's you know honestly how I feel the responsibility to provide for that household and to be clear, even though my wife works, she's a great professional, she has an amazing job, she does well all by herself, but this is still, for better, for worse.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: I still look at this as my responsibility.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Right, and you know, I think that that is, you know, a crystallization of what I was able to take away from my dad, because I'm 99% sure he felt the exact same way, either due to how he was wired or, again, just the ecosystem in which he was brought up, where every male that was born in 1946 in post-World War II America, right, it was like no this is your number one job when you get married and have the family.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, I think I definitely agree.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: You know there's, but there's.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: And you said the word embarrassment.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: The first thing I thought of was, like I think I think there's, there's.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: How do I say this?
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: I think there's there's ways to like we got to embrace what we're really good at but also get comfortable what we suck at.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: And, like I used to get really embarrassed at my lack of handyman skills.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: I am not handy.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: I wish I was.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I wish I got buddies who can fricking drywall and sheet rock and fix anything.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: I mean I look at it like I'm the guy that puts something together and there's three parts left.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: I'm like, well, shit, what are these things?
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Throw them over my shoulder.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this thing still works.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: But you know I'm, I work my ass off.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: I, if we do like a product, like I built an outside shower with a buddy, and once they kind of see what he's talking about, I'm like, oh, that makes go to the hardware store and like, build this thing, there's not a chance in hell that thing's going up.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I mean it would.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: And I was like God what.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: You know, my I wasn't around that stuff growing up.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: My dad wasn't.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: He was kind of handy but didn't involve me a lot.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Now I'm not like bitter about it, but I wish I was.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: But I finally kind of gave myself just I hate to say the word almost like like grace or forgiveness, like that's.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: That's okay to not be good at everything, I'm barely good at a few things, but like that's when I really suck at.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: My wife, on the other hand, is really really handy.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: Heard that my father-in-law is like MacGyver.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: I mean he was a pilot um Navy, um, flew on aircraft carriers and he would just, he just super, super handy dude and I used to be like God.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: One of my kids must think I'm just worthless.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: But instead of like thinking of a negative, I'm like, hey, let's celebrate Carrie, my wife skills, and let's make the kids realize hey, honey, just because she's a girl, she's a beast.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: This stuff, she can fix half stuff more Like I can.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Um, like we have a boat.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: My wife loves driving the boat more than I do.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: I could have this old school.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: No, girl is my boat.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: I'm on a boat.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: You know, don't you ever forget, you know, to quote my friends at Lonely Island, but like I didn't.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: And now my daughter loves driving the boat and she's a beast, and so like, to me it's like that's where I feel, like I think, like this, the head of the household, it's we are, it's our job to provide.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: But I think sometimes my my opinion, fair, unfair is sometimes our ego gets in the way of and and and so like, how do we, how do we like still take that ownership of, like, yeah, we're going to be provide for our family yet, dads, but we also got to check our ego, like, so there's sometimes where maybe our wife or a friend or someone else is going to be better something than us, and how do we like just kind of let that go yeah, and no two things.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: Number one I'm um, if you're not handy, I'm probably even less handy.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I was.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: I was built unlike my brother, like I was born without that part of the brain and also, like you, I didn't grow up around that kind of stuff.
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: Right, you know, my father was the same way like I.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: You know I couldn't change oil or do any of that crap.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: But to your other point, and yeah, to be perfectly clear what I said before, as far as I feel my responsibility, heather the household.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: There is a sense of egotism in that Right.
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: And, to be clear, on the one hand, I'm saying like it's not that my wife could not do that, right, she could.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: And I know that intuitively.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: If you ask me like, yeah, of course you could do that, it doesn't mean that my ego which you know, for I was going to say for lack of a better term, but it is probably true does not prevent me from still feeling that way.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: It's something that I do actively try to work on, but at the same time, if I'm being honest with myself.
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: I don't think it's ever going to go away.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: I think about that just through the way I was raised and again going back to the way that I'm wired, plus seeing my dad like that is always going to be something that is permanently hardwired within me for better or for worse.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: Like you talk about, you have a job loss, surprise, whatever it may be.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Well, you got to compete.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: That's where your grit and resilience come from.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Having the mindset of almost like for me it's like a chip on my shoulder, it's just constant.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I think when we talked about, before we even recorded, was like the power of curiosity To me.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: Being curious and a curious person keeps me grounded to always.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: There's always someone smarter than me, there's always someone better than me, there's always a better dad, there's a you know.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: So like be curious, why like what?
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: We'll find out what they're doing.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: That I'm not that and not that I'm not like, not comfortable in my own skin, but it's like it's just describing of like you never want to be the smartest in the room.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: I mean you never want to be the smartest in the room.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean my son and I talked about that this recently.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: He's he's on a college, he's playing golf in college and he's around kids now that are like really, really good like and one of his roommates one of the biggest match play events in the state of oregon.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: He finished like this it's this grueling like five-day event.
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: The last day is 36 holes and he finished second.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: He's almost won the thing.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Kid got a home one in in this 36 hole match play event yesterday and and I'm like this is I and I told I keep telling myself I'm like this is what's about, dude.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Like you're now around people that are going to like iron sharpens, iron you know, it's, it's like so.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I mean I think we could take this conversation like forever, cause it's like that.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: That's the it's just fun to think about, cause I think data dad's a hope if you're listening or taking notes, like I am.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: These are, this is what I'm I'm hoping to create space for, and you don't need a microphone and our friends at Zencaster to uh to have these conversations.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: It takes this time.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Time is one of our best assets, and shout out to Todd Caponi.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: Todd writes about that in his book Transparent Sales Leader.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: He just I love the fact that time is.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: It's all we got.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: We got 1,440 minutes a day.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: It's no one gets more, no one gets less.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: And so, as dads, to slow down do you think about what Matt and I talk about?
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Or to find out ways to be more present, whether it's one less phone call, one less email, to be more through kids or vice versa.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: Maybe sometimes you got to do the opposite to Matt what you're saying about.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: If there's days you got to provide and compete and do what you got to do, then go do it, yeah.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: And have you on that note about time?
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: Have you read or heard of the book?
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: 4,000 Weeks, uh-uh, okay, so 4,000 weeks, so blow your mind.
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: If you live till the age of 85, that's how long you have from birth to death.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: 4,000 weeks, it's not a lot of time, right you know?
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: When you frame it that way, just you know.
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: 4,000 weekends, right you know?
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: Maybe put it into a little bit more of a microcosm.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Yes, so that book, which I read, I think, maybe about 18 months ago, really helped reframe my thinking as far as, exactly like we said, like what is most important, extra 10 minutes that you spend writing that last email after five o'clock in the evening permanently and infinitely closes off any other avenue, right that that you could have had if you had done something else during that 10 minutes?
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: up to and including spending time with your kid or one of your kids doing something else.
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: Don't have to go into you know the whole thing about it now, but in the book wasn't necessarily meant to be geared towards parents.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: It's meant to, you know, sort of deflect and move people away from the whole time.
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: Hacking phenomenon Like hey, you know, wait, you know five minute increments, do this, that and the other thing.
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: It's more of a philosophical overview of choices that you make throughout the day and the ramifications, both positive and negative, of those choices as it relates to work, as it relates to parenting as it relates to anything that you do.
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: So after you get done reading Todd's book, maybe pick up 4,000 weeks Cause it's um, it's a pretty interesting read.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: I wrote it down and, to hold me accountable, I will follow up you afterwards to let you know what.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: I think, Um, how that last, how you just described the book, made me think of a book called this, um, something very similar, called the slight edge by Jeff Olson.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, not familiar.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like he talks about this.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: There's a fork in the road in every day.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: Every decision you got is a fork in the road.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: And for the older dads, you might remember this the Choose your Own Adventure books.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: When I was a kid, you read this, you jump to page.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: This.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: It's very similar If you work out in the morning, if you have maybe a smoothie instead of six donuts Weird, your belly isn't as big in two weeks.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: You know those types of things, but I, yeah, I love books like that.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Um, one thing I want to talk about I remember, before we recorded, you had once said that you and um, you and your wife and family have a passion for travel.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, talk about uh, cause I think what I thought was interesting, that I think some dads at home might learn, is, yeah, you guys travel, but you got some creative ways you go about leveraging your travel experiences.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: So we do love travel, and this is and going a step further we love traveling or at least I love traveling I'm sure my wife does too with our son.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: And part of that was me sort of overcorrecting for the fact that I didn't have the chance to travel anywhere until I was 30.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: Because growing up we didn't have any money, we didn't go anywhere.
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: When I went to school we could only afford one plane ticket for me.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: So you know, my parents didn't even, you know, come with me to drop me off to college.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: You know that that kind of thing uh, which was all paid by student loans, of course, but that's you know, that's a whole other story.
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: But, yeah, I mean I, yeah.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: So when my wife and I traveled on our own outside of the country when I was around 30, 30 or 31, she was pregnant with Liam.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: At the time, I'm like, oh my God, this is amazing, we should do this more.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: And hey, I want to overcorrect for the fact that I didn't have a chance to do this by making sure that we took our son anywhere and everywhere.
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: So we've been fortunate enough.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: You look at our passports We've been to 23 countries.
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: Since he was born, he's been to 22 of them.
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: We made the mistake I made the mistake of leaving him with my parents, I think when he was like eight or nine months old.
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: And you know, my wife and I went on a trip on it and I couldn't stand it the whole time.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: I'm like shit.
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: You know, we got to get back, I mean what am I doing?
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: here, Um, but uh, but yeah, we, um, we understand that.
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: We're fortunate enough to be able to do that.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: But to your point, um, you know the.
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: The way I found out how to do this was just by hacking and leveraging credit card points, Right?
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: So you know, all the travel, by and large, is basically free, Right?
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: You know hotels, the flights, all that good stuff, and all we pay for is food.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: And you know whatever?
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: We three trips per year to different countries, different cultures, and making sure that my son, number one, just has that experience and is able to experience different types of environments, different types of cultures, to hopefully make him a much more well-rounded, well-rounded human.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: I love that, well, I think, I think it's it's.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: It's cool that you just for everybody at home, I, I, you kind of ground me maybe think of the points guy at someone on Twitter.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: I think it's.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: You don't just because you don't have x money, there's still creative ways to go about traveling and start somewhere.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: And, um, I think it's.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: My wife is very frugal and she's very, she's very smart with travel and she gets very similar to what you just said she has.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: She does it kind of like for us.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, how did you figure that out?
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: And um, it just kind of like keeps creating these opportunities.
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: Um, I'm curious so, 23 countries, how, when you guys think about planning the next trip, how, how often is it almost like a fantasy draft, like, uh, you know liam's up and he gets to say or how do you guys go about deciding where you want to go?
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know it's so this has turned into.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: I have very few hobbies, right.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: This has turned into like a big hobby of mine where it's like I'm spending time outside of work and everything else and I'm just going to poke around and plan some, some trips, because I get a kick out of it.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: And again, I know that this is going to sound terrible and a sign of our privilege, but again, see above credit card points we pay for literally close to none of this.
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: But we're reaching a point where we're starting to double up on places, because when you put together a list of, like hey, here's all the places that we want to see, with a few exceptions, we've seen all of them.
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: The one big one that we haven't done yet, that my son really wants to go to, is Japan.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I mean I'll, I'll ask him.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: You know, I'll ask my wife like hey, where do you want to go?
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: They're like I don't care, I just go.
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: You know, go, go, plan it.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: You know my wife, there will be trips where she doesn't know where we're going until like a few days before it's because she's like no, I mean, matt takes care of all that.
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: I mean I know that we're leaving this day and we're coming back this day and I've taken, you know, vacation time at work, but you know she'll come to me 48 hours before the fight.
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: I was like where are we going Again?
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: it's like oh you know we're going here, here and here.
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I'll always solicit their feedback, but you know they they've proven to be close to zero help.
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: Every time I asked him it's like fuck it, I'm just going to, you know, pick, where I think we're all going to enjoy, and so far we, uh we haven't had a place where we've come back and it's like that was kind of a crap trip, right.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: Um, we've been lucky so far.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: What's that?
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: Tell me your favorite place you've gone so far what's uh tell me your favorite place you've gone.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: So far my favorite place uh has been uh has been jordan.
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: Um, yeah, we, we went to jordan when my son was about five, um, and yeah, we loved it.
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: Great culture, some of the nicest people that we've ever met, especially and you know, a lot of people might have misconceptions about that part of the world, and understandably so um, especially as an american, we were treated extremely well.
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: As an american with a young kid, we were.
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: I mean, there would be times where it's walking down the street and random strangers would come and like, pick up my son and, of course, me is, like you know, nervous america, like what the fuck you know, put down my son, but we're taking them.
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like no, like, pick up my son and of course, mia's, like you know nervous.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like what the fuck you know?
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: Put down my son.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: We're taking him.
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like no, they pick him up.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: You know they pinch his cheeks.
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: I was like you know, thank you for coming to our country.
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: You know, like that kind of stuff, that was mine and if you ask my son, liam, that would probably be Jordan, and we went to Iceland about a year ago and just the other worldly nature of that and just being out in nature the entire time.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: He really enjoyed that.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's so cool, I mean, I think.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: I think I'm sure you probably know it now, but as he gets old, you'll be so grateful you did this.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: And we have that in common too, that we didn't have a lot of money growing up.
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: Our vacations were camping, the one I think I went on two plane rides before I got married.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: And one thing I worry about as a dad is I don't know if worry is the right word I'm very cognizant of it is making sure I'm reminding my kids that we've been able to travel a lot more than that, and I'm very it called privilege, called luck, whatever you want to call it.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: I'm very grateful for that and I but and I always tell my like my friends or like my buddies, or don't work people Like I don't want my kids, I don't want them to know that's normal and um, that's what we talk about gratitude and humility.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: A lot in our family Like hey, our gratitude and humility.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: A lot in our family Like hey, this is hard work and we got right place, right time, get able to afford this stuff.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: And when you get married, you're not starting out like we're starting out.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: You're going to start out with, like you might be minimum wage someplace, you might hopefully a little bit higher than that, but maybe you're not and if these, if the life that we've given you, if it's something you've enjoyed, there's a lot behind the scenes that got us to this point, and the more we're here to answer questions as you guys get older and you want to learn how mom and dad did it, we're more than happy to share.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: But, um, you know, I think it's cool that you're, you already have kind of probably a built-in story like you, you're, you're, you might be able to afford it, but you're still doing, creatively, ways to go about still getting the travel done, which I think is just.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: I think it's a really, really cool thing you guys are doing.
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: It's a means to an end, if nothing else.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: Well, I know we're, we're getting close on time here.
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: One of the questions I was like asking dads is is an area of your dad game that maybe you don't quite like where it's at, but you're, you're, you're willing to look yourself in the mirror and say, hey, man, matt, we got to get better at this?
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: Tell me an area of your dad game where you're working hard to become that ultimate quarterback, or better leader of your home.
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: You know I start running.
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: You know help run a business takes up a lot of time.
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: You know there are times where I don't lead by example and can't be distracted when you know when I meant to be spending time around my son.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: And.
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: I have been making a conscious effort to get better at that and I think that I have, but there's still plenty of room of opportunity for improvement, and you know.
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: Another thing is you know I was reminded of this recently.
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: You know, as my son has gotten older and, as I mentioned before, he's 12, you know I, you know I'm starting to.
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: You know I would start to get the feeling as though he doesn't need you know his old man.
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: You know he doesn't need you know his mom as much as as he used to and, to be clear, he doesn't.
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: But you know it's not binary, right, it's not like, okay, preteen teen, like you know, they're not interested in in being around mom and dad anymore.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: They want to do their own thing.
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: You know, as you know, we I was reminded of this recently and again you know I on the one hand, I don't like that.
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: This made me feel you know better about myself, but but it did.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: If I'm just being honest with two situations.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: Number one, when we're traveling, relatively recently, we're staying in an Airbnb and you know, in bed you know, two different bedrooms, of course, for my wife and I, my son, my son got up in the middle of the night and you know it's like, of course, for my wife and I and my son.
• 50:41
  Speaker 4: My son got up in the middle of the night and you know it's like pitch black in his bedroom.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: He's trying to find the door to get out and go to the bathroom and he couldn't find it because he's not used to the room and it's pitch black.
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: So you know he got a little bit freaked out and he was 11 at the time or just about to turn 11.
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: So you know we hear this pounding on the wall and you know he calls like dad you know, you know I'm like half asleep so I wake up, like what?
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: you know what the hell is going on.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: And you know he pounds again and he's like dad.
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: So I go in the room, you know, check on him.
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: You know he's a little bit freaked out and again, you know, I don't know if it's his ego or something, but you know the fact that he called for his dad.
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah not his mom right not that I don't want him to call for his mom, but the fact that he called for his dad not once, but twice, it's like yeah, you know, I need my old man to you know, to kind of protect me yeah or if I'm scared, like I'm gonna go to my old man, like that, um, in a weird, that kind of meant a lot to me.
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: And then recently he was at a sleepaway camp for a couple of weeks.
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: And you know, because he's 12 now, whenever he's around his friends but, um, you know, I can't even drop him off at school.
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: I got to drop him off like four blocks away so he could walk, so that no one gets sight of me.
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: Um, so you know he's away at sleepaway camp for two weeks, no contact.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: He's just out in the woods.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: We go to pick him up and I'm usually good about when he's in front of his friends Like.
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: I'll you know I'll give him, you know the.
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: You know the handshake.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: And then you know the bro hug, which is what he likes doing.
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: So you know I saw him.
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: You know he's coming out for the first time.
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: All of his friends were around.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: So I go to give him the handshake and the you know the little bro, the quick bro hug thing.
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: And you know he starts giving me a big hug.
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: I'm like, oh yeah, you know good to see you too, buddy.
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: And then, um, I read, you know, as I was going to like like hey, I don't want you to get embarrassed, like we don't have to hug anymore.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: He wouldn't let go.
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: And I realized he was crying and at first I'm like you know you sad to leave your friends.
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: I mean, you know you're, you're upset because your mom and dad are here, cause he would stay there all summer if you wanted to.
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: And you know he said like no, I had to miss you.
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: And he was just sitting like holding on to me in front of his friends, just crying for for a good few minutes.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: And I don't like my son crying.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: I don't like him being upset.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: But if I'm being honest with myself again, as he's turning 12, going into this transition, there's teenage years when I'm thinking like, hey, you know, my son's not interested in his old man anymore.
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: Um, it's not true.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I love it, man.
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: Those are the stuff.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: That's that type of emotion I celebrate, I think it's great and, um, I mean, that's that's what you want, man, raw, and it's crying is normal, I think, and crying is healthy and saying you want, I want my kids to say I love you so much every day.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: I mean my daughter's almost getting her license in two days.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: She drove to school, I gave her a hug, I jumped in her car, drove sorry jumped in her whip, then drove home.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: You know I love that.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: Well, I know we're short on time here.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: I want to make sure we give you time and I want to make sure everybody, specifically me we learn and our guests I'm sorry and our listeners tell us about Sales Assembly.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: How can they find you?
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: How can they learn more about the business and really, who is it for?
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no thanks for asking Sales Assembly.
• 54:02
  Speaker 4: What we do is we provide all the day-to-day skills training for the go-to-market teams sales and post-sales of B2B software companies work with a few hundred of these companies today.
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: We just train all the AEs on how to get better at negotiation and train the CSMs at how to get better at multi-threading within accounts.
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: And Keith Waitman, who you mentioned before his company Bullhorn, is one of our longtime clients, so we have fun working with him and his team.
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: They could always find out more about what we do at salesassemblycom and I do highly encourage anybody and everybody to connect with me on LinkedIn.
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: We'd love to be any fellow dads or non-dads out there, of course, just any listeners that, uh, that might want to, uh, might want to bridge a connection and hop on a call and get to know each other, cause that's, uh, that's what I'm about.
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: Love it.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: Make sure you follow him.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: It's his content's fantastic.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: Um, everybody I know that's coming, coming and coming across or work with sales, some of them.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: They rave about them.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: So please make sure you guys check these these folks out.
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: Um, we are short in time, but I do got to go through the lightning round real quick, yep.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: So this is your job Answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: My job is trying to make you giggle.
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: All right, fair enough.
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: Uh, true or false?
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: Your next trip is to Uranus.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: Uh, false, false.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: We're not going there.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: Okay, if there was to be a nice dinner that you're going to cook for me tonight I'm coming to Chicago.
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: What are we going to have?
• 55:24
  Speaker 4: Steak and butter cake.
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, that sounds really good.
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: Favorite comedy movie is oh crap, god, that's a tough one.
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: I know that it's meant to be a lightning round.
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: I got to say and if we're just talking about the original time that we saw it Borat, the original Borat, just cracked me up Solid.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: Who are you watching?
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: Vince Vaughn, okay, chicago guy, makes sense.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: Don't Take Life.
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: Too Seriously.
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: You're not getting out of it alive okay, love that title.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: Now you are the casting director in hollywood, netflix, you, hulu, youtube they're all fighting for it.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie.
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: Uh fred savage.
• 56:13
  Speaker 4: Uh, due to the physical resemblance?
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a wonder.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: Years, baby he is.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: The wonder years of Chicago, the wonder years of Sales Academy Lighting round's over.
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: We both got a little bit of a giggle.
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: We'll call it a tie.
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: This has been a blast getting to know you, matt.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: I'm so thankful for your time, so grateful for the conversation.
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: I know it's not the last time we're going to talk.
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to meet you in person when our paths do cross.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: Thank you for all of our dads supporting us each and every week.
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: Thank you for our sponsors for your continued support of the quarterback, dad cast and again, keep doing what you're doing, brother, and I'm grateful again for Keith introducing us to each other.
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the first time he's ever done something right with his life, so I appreciate him and I appreciate you having me on, keith, and thank you for all you do, you bet.