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045 - Not All A Dream · North and South

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  Speaker 1: Chapter forty five of North and South. This is a
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  Speaker 1: LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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  Speaker 1: For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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  Speaker 1: Recording by le Anne Howlett. North and South by Elizabeth
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  Speaker 1: Cleghorn Gaskell, Chapter forty five. Not all a dream? Where
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  Speaker 1: are the sounds that swam along the buoyant air when
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  Speaker 1: I was young? The last vibration now is ore, and
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  Speaker 1: they who listened are no more. Ah, Let me close
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  Speaker 1: my eyes and dream w s Landor The idea of
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  Speaker 1: Helstone had been suggested to mister Bell's waking mind by
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  Speaker 1: his conversation with mister Lennox, And all night long it
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  Speaker 1: ran riot through his dreams. He was again the tutor
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  Speaker 1: in the college, where he now held the rank of fellow.
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  Speaker 1: It was again a long vacation, and he was staying
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  Speaker 1: with his newly married friend, the proud husband and happy
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  Speaker 1: Vicar of Helstone. Over babbling brooks. They took impossible leaps
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  Speaker 1: which seemed to keep them whole days suspended in the air.
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  Speaker 1: Time and space were not, though all other things seemed real.
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  Speaker 1: Every event was measured by the emotions of the mind,
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  Speaker 1: not by its actual existence, for existence it had none.
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  Speaker 1: But the trees were gorgeous in their autumnal leafiness. The
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  Speaker 1: warm odors of flower and herb came sweet upon the scents.
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  Speaker 1: The young wife moved about her house with just that
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  Speaker 1: mixture of annoyance at her position, as regarded wealth, with
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  Speaker 1: pride in her handsome and devoted husband, which mister Bell
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  Speaker 1: had noticed in real life a quarter of a century ago.
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  Speaker 1: The dream was so like life that when he awoke,
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  Speaker 1: his present life seemed like a dream. Where was he
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  Speaker 1: in the close, handsomely furnished room of a London hotel.
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  Speaker 1: Where were those who spoke to him, moved around him,
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  Speaker 1: touched him, not an instant ago, dead, buried, lost forevermore,
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  Speaker 1: as far as earth, for evermore would extend. He was
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  Speaker 1: an old man, so lately exultant in the full strength
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  Speaker 1: of manhood. The utter loneliness of his life was insupportable
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  Speaker 1: to think about. He got up hastily and tried to
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  Speaker 1: forget what never more might be, and a hurried dressing
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  Speaker 1: for the breakfast in Harley Street. He could not attend
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  Speaker 1: to all the lawyer's details, which, as he saw, made
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  Speaker 1: Margaret's eyes dilate and her lips grow pale, as one
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  Speaker 1: by one fate decreed, or so it seemed, every morsel
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  Speaker 1: of evidence which would exonerate Frederick should fall from beneath
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  Speaker 1: her feet and disappear. Even mister Lennox's well regulated, professional
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  Speaker 1: voice took a softer, tenderer tone as he drew near
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  Speaker 1: to the extinction of the last hope. It was not
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  Speaker 1: that Margaret had not been perfectly aware of the result before.
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  Speaker 1: It was only that the details of each successive disappointment
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  Speaker 1: came with such relentless minuteness to quench all hope that
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  Speaker 1: she at last fairly gave way to tears. Mister Lennox
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  Speaker 1: stopped reading. I'd better not go on, say he in
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  Speaker 1: a concerned voice. It was a foolish proposal of mine,
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  Speaker 1: Lieutenant Hale, and even this, giving him the title of
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  Speaker 1: the service from which he had so harshly been expelled,
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  Speaker 1: was soothing to Margaret. Lieutenant Hale is happy now, more
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  Speaker 1: secure in fortune and future prospects than he could ever
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  Speaker 1: have been in the Navy, and has doubtless adopted his
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  Speaker 1: wife's country as his own. That is it, said Margaret.
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  Speaker 1: It seems so selfish in me to regret it trying
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  Speaker 1: to smile, and yet he is lost to me, and
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  Speaker 1: I am so lonely. Mister Lennox turned over his papers
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  Speaker 1: and wished that he were as rich and prosperous as
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  Speaker 1: he believed he should be some day. Mister Bell blew
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  Speaker 1: his nose, but otherwise he also kept silence, and Margaret,
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  Speaker 1: in a minute or two, had apparently recovered her usual composure.
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  Speaker 1: She thanked mister Lennox very courteously for his trouble, all
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  Speaker 1: the more courteously and graciously because she was conscious that
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  Speaker 1: by her behavior he might have probably been led to
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  Speaker 1: imagine that he had given her needless pain. Yet it
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  Speaker 1: was pain she would not have been without. Mister Bell
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  Speaker 1: came up to wish her good bye. Margaret said he
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  Speaker 1: as he fumbled with his gloves. I am going down
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  Speaker 1: to Helstone tomorrow to look at the old place. Would
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  Speaker 1: you like to come with me? Or would it give
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  Speaker 1: you too much pain? Speak out? Don't be afraid, oh,
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  Speaker 1: mister Bell, said she, and could say no more, but
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  Speaker 1: she took his old gouty hand and kissed it. Come come,
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  Speaker 1: that's enough, said he, reddening with awkwardness. I suppose your
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  Speaker 1: aunt Shaw will trust you with me. We'll go tomorrow
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  Speaker 1: morning and we shall get there about two o'clock. I
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  Speaker 1: fancy we'll take a snack and order dinner at the
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  Speaker 1: little inn the Lenard Arms it used to be, and
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  Speaker 1: go again an appetite in the forest. Can you stand
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  Speaker 1: at Margaret. It will be a trial, I know, to
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  Speaker 1: both of us, but it will be a pleasure to
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  Speaker 1: me at least, and there we'll dine. It will be
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  Speaker 1: but doe venison if we can get it at all.
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  Speaker 1: And then I'll take my nap while you go out
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  Speaker 1: and see old friends. I'll give you back safe and sound,
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  Speaker 1: barring railway accidents, and i'll insure your life for a
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  Speaker 1: thousand pounds before starting, which may be some comfort to
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  Speaker 1: your relations. But otherwise I'll bring you back to missus
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  Speaker 1: Shaw by lunch time on Friday. So if you say yes,
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  Speaker 1: I'll just go upstairs and propose it. It's no use
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  Speaker 1: my trying to say how much I shall like it,
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  Speaker 1: said Margaret through her tears. Well, then prove your gratitude
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  Speaker 1: by keeping those fountains of yours dry for the next
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  Speaker 1: two days. If you don't, I shall feel queer myself
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  Speaker 1: about the lachrymal Ducks and I don't like that. I
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  Speaker 1: won't cry a drop, said Margaret, winking her eyes to
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  Speaker 1: shake the tears off her eyelashes and forcing a smile.
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  Speaker 1: There's my good girl. Then we'll go upstairs and settle
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  Speaker 1: it all. Margaret was in a state of almost trembling
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  Speaker 1: eagerness while mister Bell discussed his plan with her Aunt Shaw,
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  Speaker 1: who was first startled, then doubtful and perplexed, and in
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  Speaker 1: the end yielding rather to the rough force of mister
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  Speaker 1: Bell's words than to her own conviction. For to the last,
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  Speaker 1: whether it was right or wrong, proper or improper, she
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  Speaker 1: could not settle to her own satisfaction till Margaret's safe return.
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  Speaker 1: That fulfillment of the project gave her decision enough to
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  Speaker 1: say she was sure to had been a very kind
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  Speaker 1: thought of mister Bill's, and just what she herself had
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  Speaker 1: been wishing for. Margaret as giving her the very change
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  Speaker 1: which she required after all the anxious time she had had.
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  Speaker 1: End of chapter forty five, recording by Leanne Howlett