Latest / The Catholic Current / Helping Women in Recovery (Carol Berry) 9/22/26

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Helping Women in Recovery (Carol Berry) 9/22/26 · The Catholic Current

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This is The Catholic Current with Father
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Robert Matthei. We do have to recover the sense that the Fathers
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had of the danger of being Christian, because it is dangerous.
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This is real struggle that we're facing today. It may not be persecution,
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but man, something's going on, and we better respond the
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way our Fathers did. Well, yeah, and you know, because otherwise we become God's
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frozen people. And you know, I think of Nietzsche, who was a madman but
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not a stupid man, and he said, I'd be more inclined to believe in the
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Savior if the Christians, if the Christians looked and sounded sounded like they were saved.
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Praise be Jesus Christ. This is Father Robert McTague of the Society of Jesus,
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your daily host for the Catholic Current, where we bring Christ to the world and
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the world to Christ. You're listening to us from the Station of the Cross Studios,
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your local radio station, and the iCatholic Radio mobile app,
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where we proclaim the fullness of truth with clarity and charity. As always,
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let's start with prayer. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.
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Almighty God, through the intercession of Saint Ignatius Loyola, we ask that you pour forth
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your Holy Spirit upon us, a spirit of discernment. I might hear your voice and
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obey your command. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy
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Spirit. Amen. Well, you know, friends, we talk about difficult
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things. We talk about painful things. We talk about things falling apart.
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Every now and again, we need to hear some good news.
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People who faced hard times with courage and with
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faith and with help and are rebuilding
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their lives. And that's a story that I want to
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be able to tell today. There is an organization
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that I, whose work I respect, and it's called the Restoring
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Women Outreach. So we're going to talk about helping women who are in
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recovery and are in difficult times. And we have the executive director
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and founder here with us today, Carol Berry. Welcome to The Catholic Current. Thank you,
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Father. I'm so happy to be here. Carol, tell us about the organization,
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how it came to be. I mean, when you were a little girl, did you
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say, when I grow up, I want to lead a women's recovery group, it'll be
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great, I want to do that kind of apostolic work? Is that how it happened
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to you? Oh no, not at all, not at all.
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Um, it actually came through suffering, uh,
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through my own children, actually. So I
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have 2 children at the time that were in the throes of
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addiction and was just looking for peace,
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you know, like, like in the scriptures in John 14:27,
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I think it is, says, peace I leave you, my peace I give
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you, not as the world gives, but, you know, and, and to not
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hearts be troubled. And I was searching for that
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peace. And, um, I at the time was actually
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a Protestant, and, uh, I found that peace on
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my knees in Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic
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Church in Coleman, Alabama. So, amen. Um, it was there that
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the— I felt the Lord calling me to do this ministry,
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to start something. So I founded, and I'm still
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the executive director of Restoring Women Outreach in 2011.
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And it's been a— it's— I always say, if it
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never helped any women, um, it's helped
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me more than anything. Um, I'm not in recovery myself.
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I'm just— I think when, when the Lord was calling me to
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do this, I had just finished the book How to Grow an Addict, and I
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was like, are you kidding? I can grow addicts apparently, but I,
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I can't— I can't help them. And, uh, through, through the
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guidance of a a very good priest, Father Patrick Egan.
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He just— the Catholic faith is, you know, being Catholic
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has taught me how to suffer, if you will.
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I think that as a Protestant, I didn't have that knowledge
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like I do in my faith today. So, okay, it was through suffering.
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Okay. You know, this— God is so powerful and God
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is so good that he can take our losses, our pains, our bad
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choices and turn them around and help them
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to become redemptive. I mean, I've worked with people in
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a variety of addictions. Sometimes it's, you know, substances like alcohol
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or drugs, or sometimes it's behavior like gambling or pornography.
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And, you know, these are children of God. They're made in the image and likeness
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of God, and there but for the grace of God go I. And our
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Lord does want to set the captives
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free. And, uh, it's a wonder in our eyes to behold.
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You, you mentioned the book, uh, How to Grow an Addict. Is this by— I'm
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looking it up online now. This is by J.A. Wright. Is that the book that
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you're referring to? Yes. Yes. I believe so. I'm not familiar
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with that, but the concept sounds interesting. Can you tell us about that,
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please? Well, it was just, you know, honestly, you know,
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in Restoring Women Outreach, we work the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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AA, right? And I find that has the,
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the history of success and has a
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beautiful story behind it. But there's also a part of that
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that's called Al-Anon, and it is for those that do not suffer
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from a substance use disorder, but it—
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we suffer with our loved ones. And so it
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was— it's more that type of a book. It talks about
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codependency, and, um, you know, addiction is
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not just the person addicted, it is a family disease.
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It really is. It affects everyone, and we as
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family members can make that better or we can make that worse. So it
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was under that concept and kind of took you along the way. I would say
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it would be very like the Al-Anon literature,
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you know, and things that I've learned in Al-Anon. So something like
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that. Okay. And, you know, I'm glad you mentioned that. You know,
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I worked as a hospital chaplain in a trauma center chaplain for
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a year and got involved in medical ethics. Patients don't
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exist in isolation. They're not just individuals
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cut off. I mean, they exist in systems. They exist in networks of
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families and relationships. And, and, um, and people
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who are addicted do have friends and family and people who love them.
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So the experience of addiction can radiate out to,
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uh, to, to a whole system, and some
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people try to help and some people enable it.
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Addiction is a very complicated business. There's an element of
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mystery involved in that. You said some that
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you're— you had family members who had experienced addiction
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and stuff. I'm very scrupulous about respecting people's privacy, but can you give a
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very brief outline of what that experience was like for your family?
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Yes, and I have both my children's blessing to share
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their story. And they are fine with that.
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So I have, I have a daughter named
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CJ and a son named Andrew, and, and they were just in
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the throes of addiction. And I can tell you, Andrew's story
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started when he was, um, 17 years old.
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Um, he in the South, so he worked in the summer and he
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was hauling hay, hurt his back, and he was given a Lortab.
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Again, we know nothing about addiction at this
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time, and, you know, didn't understand what
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that opens the floodgates sometimes. Okay. So there's
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a lot of medical research that you can do on addiction
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and things, and, and it's also— you're in your DNA,
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you know. It's, it's a very— it runs through bloodlines. I mean, it really
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does. And so there's a lot of things that
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come into play, like you said, for addiction. It could be those 2
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things, or it could be environmental, right? I mean,
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there's just a lot that goes into it.
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I think there's an old saying that says it doesn't matter
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how the donkey got in the ditch, just get him out, right? So we
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try not to focus so much on that as we do— you know,
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of course you want to try to find someone, a therapist or something
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like that, to get them some good counseling if that's needed.
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But again, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous really take
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you through uh, that spiritual growth and that healing,
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if you will. So that being said, you know,
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as a family member too, you have to, to walk
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that journey with that loved one. So we
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started— he was, um, president of his senior class, had a scholarship,
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and his life fell apart very quickly.
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Um, and he got clean in 2022.
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He has almost 5 years clean. And he is actually
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working in the industry, and he's doing very
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well, helping a lot of people now, you know. So I'm
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very thankful to God that that is his journey.
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Um, he still works his recovery every day. Um,
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good. Our daughter CJ, um, she struggled
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since she— I think she was about 14, and, um,
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Unfortunately, she had been— had bouts of being clean
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and being sober and, you know, doing really good.
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But she would come back, you know, they both
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had children, and so they would come back to our
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hometown and we had nothing really to support
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them here. So that was why I felt like the Lord was
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calling me to do something, to put something in my hometown
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so that these women that you try to help, like my daughter,
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could get a job and, and sustain
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her, her family when she got her child back, right?
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So that, that was our purpose. So, you know, it was a
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painful thing to watch their children's journey also,
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right? It's just heartbreaking.
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So, um, unfortunately CJ passed
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away from an overdose on February 27th.
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Of 2022. And, um,
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I can tell you though, you know, my faith, you know,
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it doesn't remove my suffering at all, right? Right.
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But it definitely has changed, uh, in what
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I believe God can do with it. Um, you know, he can,
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he can just— he's, he's so good.
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I want to interject here because we're coming up on a break.
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Uh, God is powerful and God can intervene and God can
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take the worst of our lives and make
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it redemptive, letting it be an occasion of healing for
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ourselves and others. Friends, when we come back, we're going to continue our conversation with
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Carol Berry. She is a founder of an apostolate called
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Restoring Women Outreach. We're talking about helping women
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in recovery. Remember, our rallying cry here at The Catholic Current is Christus Mundo,
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fund programs that defend our Catholic faith. We're talking about helping women
12:56
in recovery. My guest today is Carol Berry, founder of
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Restoring Women Outreach. Carol, there are times
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when we see a need and we say, gosh,
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somebody ought to do something about that, and the Lord gives us
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a nudge and says, I I, I think you're the somebody.
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Is that what happened to you? Yes. As I mentioned earlier,
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Father Patrick, um, I had went to see him again.
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I'm not Catholic at the time. I was, uh, contemplating,
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you know, conversion. And he had
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me to come to his office, and we talked about my children
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and what was going on in my life. And Father Patrick
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spoke truth to me through the Holy Spirit. And he— the Holy Spirit had already
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been moving me to start something in my hometown. And Father Patrick
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said, I don't think your kids want your help, but you could go help someone
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that does. And I remember getting chill bumps, and I said,
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okay. So I, I started off, and I,
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I just went and created Restoring Women
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Outreach. But I didn't have a house to put them ladies
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in. And I met a little lady that was a little Baptist
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lady that had went to seminary in the '70s, which was very uncommon.
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Very educated woman. And she had been going into the
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jail since the early '70s,
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and she knew that women needed something more than jail.
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And so she gave me the first house for a dollar a month,
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and we started one little house and 4 women. And today,
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last year, we housed 122 women,
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served 252 children of
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those women, and Um, you know, we,
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we again ask them to work the steps of the 12 steps
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of Alcoholics Anonymous. That's a big part of our program.
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It is the probably the largest part. And we ask them
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to, um, you know, we help them re-enter the workforce.
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So out of that 122 women, 119 entered
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the workforce and were actively at employment.
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Um, we do take indigent people and people that are not able to work,
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so we did have a few you, you know, that we're able to work
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with that, um, you know, not about money. I will
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say that, right, right. You know, money makes the world go around and we have
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to have it, but sure, we do try to take people that are indigent and,
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and things like that. So we get them to go back into the
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workforce. We give them classes like GED,
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skills training, um, through Wallace State, which is
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a local college here. And then we also give them, uh,
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parenting classes, anger management management, conflict resolution.
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We, you know, have so many other programs going
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within RWO and great partnerships
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with our local community. So it's wonderful to watch
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these ladies come in so beat down and broken and end
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with life again. Okay. Yeah. Is there a
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typical age range or do you have the full spectrum?
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No, Father Ed, we've worked from— with people from 18 years
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old. Our oldest, um, was probably in
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her 70s, and she actually just,
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just left the program, uh, and she was actually
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on a walker. So, you know, addiction knows
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no boundaries, right? Um, it doesn't matter. You know, I have
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a lady that still comes and does morning Bible study or,
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uh, with the ladies every morning. She'll be 80.
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Next year, and the first of next year.
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And she is a graduate of RWO, and she
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was a college professor at the University of Alabama, and she
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is just a walking light now.
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And she was in her 60s when she came into RWO.
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So, and it's— so we work with all different ages.
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Okay. All right. I think that that's important. So I
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know that the The fundamental step, the big first step when you're dealing with
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an addiction is to admit that you have
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a problem and it's something that you can't control.
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It's not just willpower and gritting our teeth and saying,
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this time it'll be different.
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And my friends who have been in recovery all
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say that without a divine intervention,
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there's no way forward. Can you talk about that, please?
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Yes, I agree 100%. If you
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do not have the spiritual awakening, um, I believe
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that's what they call it in the program, it's not going to work.
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You know, it, it takes that. You have to truly
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just surrender to God. And we do
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not say we are a faith-based program at all.
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Because if we have people that are atheists that
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come through our program, and I've never had someone leave
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as an atheist, thanks be to God, but don't discriminate.
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You know, my faith is a big part of my life, and but if
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we— I would say we only right now, we only out of the women
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we're serving, 42 women, I think only one's Catholic.
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So we're not, you know, we all we do is introduce them
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to a loving, merciful God through
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the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. And we let
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the Holy Spirit do what the Holy Spirit does. We have morning
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Bible study out of the Recovery Bible. We have,
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um, you know, that is a planned program, if you
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will, that we go through each year. And And we
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give them everything that we can to instill
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in them a relationship with God, but that is clearly
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on them. They have to have that spiritual awakening.
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They do. Sure. Yeah, I have found that
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when people realize there's nowhere else to
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turn, that can be the first opportunity to say, gosh,
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I'm not enough to handle this, and I do need
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help, and I need human help, and I need something else.
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Something more. And if you open that door to God
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Almighty, God will certainly come in. Can you tell
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us, again, respecting privacy and so on, kind of
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a typical before and after story? When you first
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meet the, the women who, who come to you, are they coming out of a
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hospital? Are they coming out of the justice system? Are they coming in
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from the curb? How do you begin to meet them? Them? All 3 that you
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said. I would say the majority of our people,
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our ladies, they can't— they come in through the court system.
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So the judicial system is where they would come in.
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We do take from detox units, which are medically sent
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to us. We also take just off the street.
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The problem now with taking someone off the street is ODing,
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or, um, you know, alcoholism is probably the scariest
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for us to take off the street. So we're gonna see a problem
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there, we're going to try to get them into a detox unit and let
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them come back to us. It's just safer for everybody
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if we do that. But that's the 3 ways we get those,
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those women. We also take re-entries from the,
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uh, prison system here in the state of Alabama. We also
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make diversion, uh, which they are a state inmate,
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but they would do their time with Restoring Women
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Outreach. So we have different ways of doing that,
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um, and we have success across
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the board on those. I think the
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problem with someone coming in that is not court-ordered,
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let's say, is getting them to stay the 12 months.
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Because this is a 12-month program, um,
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but we try to keep them 24 months.
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So that's even a larger challenge because statistically,
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if you look at the national average, if you stay 12 months,
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it's a 50/50 if they're going to stay clean. Okay, okay.
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Our numbers are not much better than that. For last year, they were like
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at 63%. But if we can
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keep 24 months, if we can encourage you to stay
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with us 24 months— nationally,
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if you— someone stays in a program 24 months, 80% success
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rate. We're running in the 90s. We have a great success rate if we
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can keep 2 years. I have ladies that have been with
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us— we have 6 houses spread throughout our community,
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and I have 6 ladies that have been with us over 7
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years. Wow. So, you know, and that's why we're
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a staff, paid staff of 2 people, because our women
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come back and give back. You know, Miss Dorothy that I spoke of earlier
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opened a door for me to open a door for these women.
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And now as I'm watching these women come back and open the door for others,
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it is— I love my job. I'm so thankful
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I get to watch God's hand move every day.
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Every day. Wow. Wow. Oh, thanks be to God. You know, I,
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I think that's, that's so important. Um, you know,
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um, the process of healing, it's not just one
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and done. It, it's kind of a pilgrimage, isn't it?
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It's, uh, there's a path and you have to stay on the path
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or you don't get to the destination. And a pilgrimage involves
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other people walking with you, companions and guides.
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Is that a fair image of how the process works? That's a beautiful
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image. Yes, it is exactly what we try to do
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at RWO, at Restoring Women. We, we try
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to encourage those ladies to come back, and the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
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also does that. So, um, you know,
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I, I say all the time, I just keep the lights on and
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the, you know, all the things like that, right? The women
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are there. That are in the trenches with these ladies,
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they're, they're the real game changers, you know. Sure.
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And I think that's what you see, you know. If, if I could
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say one thing to someone struggling with addiction is you are
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struggling with addiction because you have a gift. You know, that grief, that addiction,
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that failure, all those parts of your life that you want to rewrite—
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God is waiting for you to do that because those
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are the people that are going to change the world. Our mission statement
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says, helping each woman become all God created her to be.
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Again, when I came up with that mission statement, I was a Protestant.
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I'd never heard of Saint Catherine of Siena. But if you think
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about her quote, it— she has that quote. She says,
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if you become all God created you to be, you will set the world on
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fire. And that's what I'm saying.
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And Catherine was saying, expanding that insight as we come
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up onto the break, the addiction would
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rob us of that.
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You know, God's enemy is our enemy too and wants
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to distort the image and likeness of God embedded
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in us. So addiction offers help but
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is in fact a liar. And what I'll talk about in the next segment
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is how we begin to expose that lie. And then the step-by-step
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process of embracing the truth. Friends, we come back, we're going to continue our conversation
25:00
about helping women in recovery. My guest today is Carol Berry.
25:03
She is the founder of Restoring Women Outreach.
25:07
After the broadcast today, go to thestationofthecross.com, get our
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26:51
We're talking about helping women in recovery. My guest today is Carol Berry,
26:55
founder of Restoring Women Outreach. Carol,
26:58
one of the things you said in the last segment was that the ideal
27:02
length of the program is 24 months.
27:06
I didn't realize it was that long. The numbers are in
27:10
your favor. There's certainly a practical wisdom there. It takes a
27:14
while to restore and build a firm foundation. Can you
27:17
walk us through what a 2-year stint with your
27:21
program would look like? Yes, I can, Father.
27:24
You would begin in our first home, which— that home is called
27:28
the Hope House. And, um, the women come
27:32
in, there's a larger group, have a large bunk
27:36
room, if you will, and those women come
27:39
in they are introduced to the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous,
27:44
and they're also introduced to a very structured
27:48
routine, um, from what time they get up
27:52
to the morning Bible study. Every part of their day is mapped out for
27:56
them. They will stay in that house 3 months.
28:00
This gives them time to reach milestones in
28:04
the recovery so that they're able to move
28:08
to the next part of the program, which includes the
28:12
move to a different house. And in that house, each time
28:16
you're given more freedom,
28:20
more responsibility,
28:23
and you hit another milestone.
28:26
I call them the humps: 3, 6,
28:30
and 9 months. Okay. And usually around
28:34
those those milestones, those humps,
28:37
is where someone's either going to make huge mistakes
28:42
and leave or get kicked out, or they're— you're
28:46
going to see that light click on and they're going to
28:50
really start living life, and they're going to be hungry and
28:54
eager to move on. So again, their day
28:58
is— their day is structured for 12 months.
29:02
Every house purpose and has its own routine.
29:06
So we ask our women to— I
29:10
spoke earlier about the parenting classes, the GED classes.
29:14
We have women that are getting scholarships through the
29:18
local college here to go on to a secondary education,
29:22
and, and a lot of them have been very successful in that.
29:26
So if you're, you know, in a third house,
29:29
that may be part of your day that now you're, you're trying to move
29:33
your education forward. Um, again, they get a job
29:38
within the first 30 days. So each house has a purpose up
29:42
to 12 months. At 12 months, they do graduate our
29:46
program, and then they would move on to an aftercare
29:49
program or three-quarter living program.
29:53
That program is— again, those women are still on
29:57
a very structured schedule but they have a lot of freedom
30:01
now. You know, they're able— if they have children, their children
30:06
are able to come and spend a weekend with them.
30:09
And if they have cars, they have
30:12
all the freedoms normal people would, if anyone's
30:16
normal. And so, right, yeah, um, you see the growth
30:20
there. But what they're asked to do is come back and serve
30:25
the women in the other houses. So you're going
30:28
to see the women that have been there working on their second year
30:32
going back to that Hope House, the very first house,
30:36
and serving those women. Our program administrator,
30:40
Miss Kim Tidwell, she's a graduate of ours.
30:44
And Kim asked those women— they pull their money together and
30:48
they cook a huge meal once a month, and they
30:51
give their testimony to those women, and they serve
30:55
those women. So it is, it's it's beautiful to watch
30:59
each house and, and the growth that they have there
31:03
to move on to the next house. And, um,
31:07
we were just gifted 5 acres and 5 buildings, and we
31:11
are going to be able to double our capacity up
31:14
to 84 women a month. Wow. And this house,
31:18
this, this is an old, actually,
31:22
church A campus is what it is.
31:25
And in this property now, we'll be able
31:28
to have— that first house will house 20 women.
31:33
And so having these ladies that are on their second year
31:38
that have to go back and give back, they will be
31:41
instrumental in this new property being
31:45
successful. And in their 2 years,
31:49
when they get to that, again, they're structured, but they don't
31:53
really move houses. They kind of stay in the house that they're in.
31:57
And but we also ask the ladies to do community
32:01
service. So every lady, from the first 30 days you're there,
32:05
you're going to give back to our community. We feel like that's important.
32:10
And we also ask them to give back,
32:13
you know, within the program also.
32:17
So it's important for them to understand
32:21
that they can be of service. We are different,
32:25
and I don't know of another program in the state of Alabama
32:29
that does this, but once you get a job,
32:32
our program fees are kept very low because we
32:36
rely on individuals. I've— we've never taken a state or
32:39
federal grant. Good for you. So for us,
32:43
it is individuals. It's that grandmother that has a child in addiction or
32:47
grandchildren in addiction that sends us $50 a month or
32:52
$25 a month, right? Sure. That are keeping our doors open.
32:55
And those, those people, um,
32:59
we, we ask our women— because we're providing all
33:03
your food, we're providing a shelter for you— we
33:07
ask them to pay back their debt to society. So that
33:11
may be restitution on a crime you've done, it may be child support
33:16
where someone else is having to raise your children for you you while
33:19
you get healthy, or that may be, uh,
33:22
fines in court or probation.
33:25
So we asked them to pay that, and last year,
33:29
just in our local community, they paid back over
33:34
$192,000. Oh my goodness. Wow.
33:37
That's so far in debt because of the judicial system,
33:41
it's the way it's set up, right, that they
33:45
come thousands of dollars, if not tens of thousands
33:48
of dollars in debt. And we see women leave in no
33:52
debt, or— okay, or, or at least they leave
33:56
knowing they can pay their debt. They're used
34:00
to paying that from 30 days in. So when you leave
34:04
us, you know you can pay that. So it's, uh, very different
34:08
in the state of Alabama. The judges will set that aside. So let's
34:12
say you're having to pay $400 a month for restitution, fines,
34:16
And the judge says, okay, for the 12 months you're with Restoring Women Outreach,
34:21
you will not have to pay that. But it's just sitting there gaining
34:25
interest, right? Sure. Yeah, yeah. Profession before I started
34:29
this was an accountant. That made no sense to me. Oh,
34:32
okay. So yeah, you said you wrote our program different. We were
34:36
like, oh no, no, in 30 days you're going to start paying, right?
34:39
So, you know, it works and And, and it,
34:42
it gives them what we call accountability,
34:46
but is accountability with love and direction,
34:50
right? We're helping them learn to manage
34:53
their own finances. Okay. And, and we
34:57
hope with this opening of this new building, we will
35:01
have a classroom space that will be dedicated to their finances.
35:05
Oh, that's so important. And we also have
35:08
a program dedicated to the family members So if your
35:13
wife, daughter, sister,
35:16
whatever that looks like, is in our program, you will have
35:19
free access to a program for you and your, your family to
35:23
come to. Because if we can have the family healing while
35:27
the woman is healing, their chance of staying clean is going
35:31
to be so much greater. And so we're very excited
35:35
about that too. So sure, sure. See, this,
35:38
this all sounds very, very positive to me, and I know that this
35:42
kind of— I mean, any kind of work to improve your
35:46
life, to get healing, to learn skills,
35:49
there are ups and downs. And some days the victories are obvious,
35:53
and sometimes the victories don't seem to be found anywhere. I'm sure that
35:57
not every day is Christmas morning for you. What keeps
36:01
you going on the hard days, on the days when the alarm goes off and
36:05
you want to hit the snooze button? Button, what gets your feet on the floor?
36:08
Prayer. Amen. And I took,
36:12
I took a little 2-year break. And I actually, I worked
36:17
as the assistant to Abbot Marcus Clark here in Coleman at
36:21
the St. Bernard Abbey. So I was, I was in a cloistered abbey
36:25
for 2 years with— I was the only woman with all
36:28
my monks. And, and it was a wonderful time in my life.
36:32
And, and I thank God for that, because I do kind of draw back to
36:35
that. That, you know. If I'm having a hard time, I can go to daily
36:39
Mass. Um, I can go and talk to,
36:43
you know, a spiritual director or one of the monks or one of
36:47
the priests, because that is such a solemn,
36:50
beautiful place. And I'm so— we're so lucky to have that.
36:54
We're only about 12% Catholic in, in my small
36:58
town, but we have 2 Catholic— well, we 2
37:03
Benedictine monasteries, and then EWTN of Mother
37:06
Angelica Shrine is here in my area. Yeah, so I have
37:11
a lot of places to go and, and, and re-recoup
37:15
and, and have some time with God. Adoration— my husband and I
37:19
are weekly adoration. We do that on Tuesday nights.
37:23
So that's, that's how we reset. I have to stay close
37:27
to God, um, and And it's hard sometimes. I,
37:31
I don't do as much of the day-to-day. I'll be honest
37:35
with you, Father, it gives me the shingles. Sure. Yeah, very, very hard.
37:39
But I, I've always— the Lord had led me to say
37:43
that I need my program director, those women in the trenches,
37:47
they're all in recovery because I don't understand
37:51
what they go through because, right, I, I'm not
37:55
in recovery. So I leave that to those women. Um,
37:59
but it is is, it is hard, you know. And seeing
38:02
someone do really well and, and then fall off the wagon, it,
38:06
it is heartbreaking. But of course, God is good,
38:09
and we've seen redemption over and over again. So he,
38:13
um, he gives us hope in the women that are, are still
38:17
there and still fighting the good fight. So, well, you know, I, I think that,
38:21
that is, that is so important. I, I've written about
38:24
resilience, that a lot people think resilience just means gritting
38:28
your teeth and putting your head down and powering through. But resilience
38:33
also includes the good sense of saying, I need
38:37
to rest, I need to recharge, I myself
38:41
need to be restored. And, and no one
38:44
of us is, is a superhero. And if we have this inclination that
38:48
somehow it is all on me, then we take our eyes off
38:52
God, and then problems happen that way.
38:57
We've got about a minute left. Where can people find out more about
39:01
your good work? You can go to our website, which is
39:06
rwualabama.org.
39:11
Okay. And yes, we would love people to do that.
39:14
All right. And I hope there are ways that people can make donations
39:18
and support your good work as well.
39:21
Carol Berry, thank you so much for a fascinating conversation,
39:26
an uplifting conversation.
39:29
I tend to look at the cloud around every silver lining, and your
39:34
testimony gives me hope about God's fidelity and God's
39:38
power. God bless your very good work. Thank you, Father, and I appreciate your time.
39:42
I'm Jesuit Father Robert McTaggart, host every day of The Catholic Current. It is
39:45
a Timely Tuesday. You know what that means. The next segment
39:49
is you and me sharing timely thoughts, reflecting on what we've heard today.
39:53
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40:03
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40:07
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40:11
Father. Do you know someone who fell into addiction and came
40:15
out the other side? Someone who's still carrying that cross?
40:18
Have you yourself struggled with addiction? We want to hear your
40:22
testimony— what helped and what did not help.
40:27
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40:30
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40:34
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41:20
Praise be Jesus Christ. This is Father Robert McTeague of the Society of
41:24
Jesus, your daily host for the Catholic Current, where we bring Christ to the world
41:28
and the world to Christ. You're listening to us from the Station of the Cross
41:30
Studios, your local radio station, the iCatholic Radio mobile app.
41:33
We proclaim the fullness of truth with clarity and charity.
41:37
It is the last segment of a Timely Tuesday. You know what that means?
41:40
You and me sharing timely thoughts, reflecting on what we heard today. My guest
41:44
was Carol Berry, and we were talking about her good work called Restoring
41:48
Women Outreach. So women who've gotten out of hospitals
41:51
or gotten out of the, the justice system and gotten out of addictions and have
41:55
gotten sober, and they live and work and pray together so
42:00
they can rebuild their lives. And it is a very noble
42:03
and very honorable work. And remember, our Lord said, whatever you do
42:08
to the least of my brothers, that you do to me. I want
42:12
to make a distinction between pity and compassion. There can be a good
42:16
sense of the word pity, you know, Son of David, have pity on me,
42:20
and that's okay. But I want to contrast a negative sense
42:24
of pity with a proper sense of compassion.
42:28
There is a sense of pity that is a condescension
42:32
in the worst sense of the word. There is a kind of pity that
42:36
says, isn't it awful that you're you? I'm really sorry
42:40
that you're you. I'm certainly glad that I'm
42:43
not you. You know, take this donation and then go away
42:47
so I don't have to think about you and how awful you are. And of
42:50
course, that's, that's horrifying. We don't
42:54
want that. On the other hand, there is compassion.
42:59
And compassion, real robust Catholic
43:03
compassion, isn't just, gosh, I have bad
43:07
feels for you because you're in pain or struggling or have
43:12
been injured or wronged, etc. Now, some people would
43:16
bring to your attention that the word compassion comes from
43:19
compassio. To suffer with.
43:23
So I want to expand on that using the work of my
43:27
mentor, the late great Dr. Paul Weiss, in particular
43:31
from his book The God We Seek, where he talks about pity and compassion.
43:35
So summarizing and amplifying what Dr. Weiss said,
43:39
real compassion is to suffer with the person
43:42
who is suffering, to— and
43:46
I'm not going to use the horrible phrase— meet them where they're at, but to
43:48
get down to where they are. And insist you
43:53
have an identity, a dignity, and a
43:57
destiny beyond this present darkness.
44:03
And I extend to you my hand and my help to get
44:08
you back on your feet, and then say, join the
44:12
pilgrimage towards healing. Join the struggling
44:17
church, the pilgrim church, the church militant, On the
44:21
pilgrim's path to healing, let's walk in the bloody footsteps of
44:25
our Lord together. Let's enter through the
44:29
narrow gate together. And sometimes we stumble and sometimes
44:33
we fall. Sometimes we get discouraged and we pick
44:37
each other up and we say, let's keep walking.
44:40
Let's keep moving. Let's not stop
44:44
here. And that's one of the reasons why I like her program,
44:48
Carol Berry's program, uh, Restoring Women Outreach.
44:51
Because these are women who, who've suffered.
44:55
Some of them have been abused or violated. They've all suffered the
44:59
outrages and horror and indignity of addiction.
45:02
Some of them have been in the legal system,
45:06
which is not a party, and they have
45:10
decided to not roll over.
45:14
They've decided not to let their pain, their grief,
45:19
their poor choices and the things they've suffered to
45:23
define them absolutely. I think
45:27
that one of the things we have to be on guard against
45:30
is self-pity. It is okay to
45:36
acknowledge one's pain and grief and loss.
45:41
I, I think it's healthy. No one is well served
45:45
by denial. It's okay to
45:49
say, objectively speaking, I'm doing objectively
45:52
difficult things in objectively unfavorable
45:56
circumstances. It is okay to do that.
46:00
And then we have decisions to
46:04
make. We can wallow.
46:09
We can just roll over and say, I can't,
46:12
I can't, I can't. Or we can make a choice
46:17
to do all that we can. And there is no shame
46:23
in asking for help. And a principal
46:28
work of the Christian
46:31
community is to offer very
46:35
practical help while offering spiritual help
46:40
and resources as well. As you listen to this, I celebrated Mass
46:45
in honor of St. Thomas Villanova,
46:48
Augustinian friar, Spanish bishop. And 2
46:53
vignettes about him. St. Antonio María Claret,
46:56
who was a saintly bishop himself, said this about
47:00
Thomas Villanova. He said, Spain produced great conquerors
47:05
who won empires for the crown, but she
47:08
produced no greater conqueror than Thomas of Villanova,
47:12
who conquered human selfishness through the pure
47:16
love of Jesus Christ. And that's why I admire Carol
47:20
Berry and her work with Restoring Women Outreach,
47:23
is that they are motivated by the love of our Lord to
47:27
help these women in great need. And I want to add to that,
47:31
uh, Saint Thomas Villanova's observation, because you
47:35
can look at, at Saint Thomas of Villanova see what a heroically
47:39
generous and faithful bishop he is. You should read about him.
47:42
His, his zeal for souls and his charity is astounding.
47:48
And this is where we might be tempted to say, sure, we'd like to see
47:52
more of that, and then start looking around and making at least mental lists of
47:56
who's not like Thomas of Villanova. And Saint Thomas of
48:00
Villanova says this, he says true reform begins with
48:04
the self. Do not seek to correct the flaws of the church until
48:08
you have purged the altar of your own heart.
48:12
So says Saint Thomas Villanova. So when
48:16
we realize that people are not stepping
48:19
up, when we realize that pastors aren't
48:23
always very pastoral, when we start drawing
48:26
the list of 10 things everybody else needs to do to
48:31
make the church better, we have to start
48:35
with ourselves. We have to look
48:38
in the mirror and say, is it I, Lord?
48:42
And while our hearts can break for these poor women who've,
48:45
who suffered from addictions— some
48:49
of their suffering was self-inflicted, some was not—
48:54
we have to admit that we ourselves have
48:58
our own addictions, our own disordered
49:02
attachments, our own inclination to put
49:06
God not first.
49:10
And when we realize that and we repent of that, one of the
49:13
ways that we can show that we've learned our lesson
49:17
and we're going to be a good steward of what God has given us is
49:21
if we help help people who are themselves in very
49:25
great need, like these women from the Restoring Women Outreach.
49:29
So friends, pray for those who are in need,
49:33
intercede, you know, but also we
49:37
need to step up, even if it's just the 2 coins of the
49:41
widow. We need to step up. We have to be willing to get our
49:44
hands dirty to help those in need because our
49:48
Lord is going to be asking about that. Did you
49:52
extend yourself for those who are in need? I want
49:57
to be able to have a good answer to that question, and I hope you
50:00
will too. I'm Jesuit Father Robert McTeague, your host here every
50:04
day, The Catholic Current. Join us tomorrow for another lively episode of The Catholic Current.
50:08
Great topic, great guest, great conversation, because that's how we roll
50:12
here at thestationofthecross.com and the, the Catholic current
50:15
where we strive to be so very much more than merely
50:19
relevant. After the broadcast today, go to thestationofthecross.com,
50:23
get our resources list, download our audios, podcasts. Wherever you can find audio,
50:28
you can find us. Take this to your family and friends. Together we'll take it
50:31
to the whole world. Through the intercession of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, may Almighty
50:34
God bless you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Go in peace,
50:38
and please do pray for me, for I am A sinner.