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Lifting the Curse of Unworthiness - A Fairytale Metaphor · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's Adam here. You're about to listen to a
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  hypnosis session all about lifting the curse of
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  unworthiness. I've been doing this way over a
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  decade, seen thousands of clients.
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  And one of the things that I've seen is that a lot of adults
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  that feel unworthy or not good enough quite often had
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  childhoods and upbringings where they had to earn love, earn
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  validation. They were criticized frequently.
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  And if they did something wrong, that was used as a weapon
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  against them. If they didn't do what they were
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  told, that was used against them.
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  And the client that I work with in this session had that kind of
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  upbringing. And what it meant is that into
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  adulthood, they didn't really feel that they were worthy of
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  healthy relationships. And therefore that made them
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  more dependent on the toxic relationships that they had with
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  their family, which created the very conditions that kept their
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  worthiness low, that stopped them having healthy
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  relationships. And it's not uncommon to see
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  these self fulfilling prophecies.
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  This uses a fairy tale metaphor of kingdoms and castles and Once
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  Upon a time, you know, type of narratives.
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  So that the fairy godmother in this metaphor is her current
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  self going back seeing her childhood and seeing how a curse
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  was almost like a spell was cast over a child and they started to
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  believe things that weren't true.
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  And then she gets to release and grant A wish to release this
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  curse, to lift the curse. And that facilitated healthy
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  relationships with mutual respect and consideration and
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  kindness and healthy boundaries which are respected and
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  understood, and that they felt worthy of that.
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  And part of being worthy is also figuring out what you won't
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  tolerate. If someone is disrespectful and
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  deceitful and you allow them to continue to be a friend or a
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  partner, you're kind of saying that you tolerate this and
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  therefore you can expect more of it.
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  So one of the key things that is absolutely essential for healthy
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  relationships actually is healthy boundaries.
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  And this covers both lifting the curse of the old belief systems,
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  but feeling empowered to have these healthy boundaries and
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  healthy boundaries doesn't mean you're a dictator and saying,
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  right, you have to do this or I'm out.
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  That isn't a healthy boundary. Healthy boundaries are
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  communicated from a place of clarity.
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  Hey, this is really important to me.
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  What's important to you? You know, those kind of
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  language. It doesn't have to be
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  dictatorial. It can be very casual.
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  But if you have a boundary or a need, that's absolutely
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  important and someone disregards that and there is no
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  consequence, Expect more of that thing that you want, and then
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  you're no longer in a healthy relationship.
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  You're in an unhealthy relationship, so if you couldn't
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  connect or resonate with any of these concepts and ideas, you're
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  probably going to get some value from this one.
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  It was created for a client. They happen to be female.
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  Some of those references are used in this hypnosis session.
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  So if you like the idea of a bespoke session, check out a
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  consultation call that you can schedule with me.
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  The details for the consultation call are actually in the show
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  notes, the description of this episode, so check that out.
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  For now though, find a quiet, comfortable place where you
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  won't be distracted or disturbed.
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  Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
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  you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
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  relaxation. And as you exhale, give
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  permission to release all of that heavy draining emotions.
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  You know the ones, the ones that have been holding you back,
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  questioning yourself, questioning your value to
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  breathe out those heavy emotions and breathe in a wonderful
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  feeling of pure, distilled worthiness.
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  And the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you feel.
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  And the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe.
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  As your body relaxes, your imagination awakens.
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  And I want you to think. Think of an old story book.
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  Perhaps you could imagine finding a bookshelf filled with
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  children's fairy tales. And I want you to imagine seeing
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  a book with the title called The Curse.
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  You just imagine picking up that book, opening it.
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  And with every good children's fairy tale, there's pictures.
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  And I wonder if you could imagine seeing a fairy tale
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  castle in a fairy tale Kingdom and imagine what it would be
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  like to float into the pages and discover a small child, perhaps
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  just four or five years old. And I want you to imagine, I
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  want to imagine that you in this story are a fairy godmother with
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  magical powers. And I want you to go back and
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  see that child, see the house they grew up in there within the
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  Kingdom, what that child was told.
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  How much love they received and what the love was unconditional
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  or came with conditions like doing what they're told, not
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  questioning, not being too demanding.
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  And I want you to get a sense that that child was hearing
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  things throughout their childhood.
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  You can't trust anyone. You can't depend on anyone.
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  You can only depend on me. Some people believe that words
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  with emotion become spells. And what if those spells slowly,
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  over time, created a curse? The curse of unworthiness, the
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  curse of distrust, the curse of dependency.
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  And I want you to see that child getting older, what they
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  experienced to make this curse feel real.
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  See what they were rewarded for and what they were punished for.
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  I want you to get a sense then. It was almost inevitable this
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  child would have been cursed. Because what if the curse was a
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  belief? A belief that was never true,
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  but the child grew up thinking that that belief was real?
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  That they had to earn worthiness.
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  They had to do things or be someone to receive love or
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  affection. And I want you to see that child
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  getting older, starting to defy that evil mother.
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  And the moment they did, that mother that said you can trust
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  me, you can count on me, suddenly took back that promise.
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  The moment that they weren't willing to do what the evil
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  mother was asking them to do, because the evil mother didn't
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  want healthy boundaries, mutual respect, consideration, that
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  mother wanted loyalty, obedience.
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  That mother wanted the daughter to be subservient, to be weak.
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  Because when they were weak, they could be controlled.
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  And you've been watching all of this time as this fairy
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  godmother invisible. And I want you to see see the
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  time when that daughter leaves that Kingdom to find a new
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  Kingdom, hoping that the curse will be lifted if they find a
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  new place. And I want you to see that that
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  child left the people but took the curse with them because the
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  curse was the beliefs that they were trained to believe.
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  But you're the fairy godmother. You follow the child into the
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  new Kingdom, a Kingdom with more sunshine.
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  And I want you to see that some of the things that happened
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  before are repeating again, not through lack of intelligence,
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  but simply because they are believing what they believed
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  before. Creating a self fulfilling
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  prophecy where they don't feel worthy to have boundaries, so
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  boundaries get eroded, so self worth diminishes and they feel
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  less able to communicate their needs.
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  And this whole cycle continues. But you are the fairy godmother
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  and you're willing to give a wish.
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  And I want you to see that that child has become a woman.
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  And I want you to ask, ask what they wish for more than anything
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  else. And maybe all they want is not
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  treasure. What they want are healthy
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  relationships. Is that too much to ask?
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  And of course, you, as the fairy godmother say not at all.
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  I will grant your wish. Imagine waving that magic wand,
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  seeing energy, magic and sparkles flow from the wand to
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  the child that became a woman. See a glow of energy around
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  them, and maybe they look like you look now, but see something
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  change when the magic happens. Like a switch has been clicked,
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  like a door has been opened, like a new idea has taken root.
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  And then, as the fairy godmother, tell them you are now
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  worthy and deserving of healthy relationships.
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  Relationships that might be friendships, a romantic
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  relationship, even a work relationship.
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  But you are worthy of relationships that have mutual
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  respect, healthy boundaries consideration you for them and
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  them for you. And they also give you the power
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  to communicate your boundaries, communicate your needs to be
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  vulnerable and yet vigilant. It's true you can't trust
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  everyone, but it's also true that you can't trust nobody.
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  But it's better to trust and then re evaluate when people
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  through actions and words prove unworthy of trust.
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  That is, to give the benefit of the doubt and take that trust
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  away when people aren't worthy of it, than to keep trusting
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  when they've proved unworthy, or to never trust and therefore
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  never know if they were worthy of that trust.
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  Because people unworthy of trust will let you down with the small
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  things before they let you down with the big things.
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  And that's why one of your boundaries is that you don't
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  want a relationship where you will be lied to or disrespected.
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  And if you see it, your boundary is to make a decision that this
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  is not a relationship that you desire.
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  You can only do that if you feel worthy of healthy relationships.
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  And here's the paradox. If you don't have any healthy
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  relationships, you will crave an unhealthy relationship just to
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  meet that human need. But when most of your
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  relationships are healthy relationships, you won't
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  tolerate disrespect, deceit, indifference, manipulation.
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  Why would you? Someone that's starving will eat
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  rotten food. Someone well fed will turn down
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  food simply because they're not hungry.
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  When you feel like you don't need it, then you can decide if
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  you want it. And if from the perspective of
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  that fairy godmother, you can see that the curse has been
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  lifted, that they are now worthy of healthy relationships.
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  Let me know by nodding your head and I want you to see what that
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  looks like in their future. Being worthy of healthy
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  relationships means having a standard that you refuse to
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  accept. Unhealthy relationships.
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  Bad things happen to good people.
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  You get what you tolerate, not what you deserve.
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  And I want you to see that version of you where the curse
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  has been lifted with more confidence, more self esteem,
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  higher standards, and a refusal to beg for the crumbs.
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  You'll either find what you're looking for or you're happy to
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  keep looking. And when you see that version of
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  you, see it in your personal life, friendships, a romantic
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  relationship, see it in your work life, You no longer
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  tolerate disrespect, indifference from colleagues,
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  see it in your family, those that are considerate,
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  respectful. You invest in those
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  relationships and those that prove uncapable of doing that.
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  Your boundary is to create distance.
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  Distance in location, distance in time, distance in
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  communication channels. It's simply harder to connect
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  with you if you've decided this is not a relationship that can
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  be healthy for you. It's your criteria, no one
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  else's. And then shift perspective from
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  the fairy godmother into that version of you where the curse
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  has been lifted. And imagine you're no longer in
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  this fairy tale Kingdom. You're in your reality, but
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  still feel that the curse has been lifted.
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  And imagine now what you will or will not tolerate in a friend,
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  in a partner, in a colleague, in a family member, and think back
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  when the curse was there, how much you did accept.
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  And now the curse is lifted what you refuse to accept.
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  And the curse is lifted because you no longer believe what you
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  were told as a child. That's why it doesn't work
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  anymore. You can hear the words, but the
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  wires have been snipped. It simply doesn't trigger you in
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  the way that it used to. If anything, it makes you smile.
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  You see what they're doing. These cult like techniques don't
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  work. The moment you know what those
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  techniques are, it's time to leave this fairy tale.
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  But leave the curse way behind. You're different now.
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  A wonderful door has been opened to wonderful new, healthy
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  relationships because you are worthy of them, deserving of
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  them, and are no willing to tolerate anything less than a
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  healthy relationship. So as you float back through the
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  pages of a fairy tale back into the present, take a deep breath
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  in through your nose and out through your nose.
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  Wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
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  Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I count from
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  1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you. Starting to count. 123 waking up
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  456 more alert. 7-8 open your eyes.
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  Open your eyes, 910. Wide awake, wide awake, wide
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  awake. Thank you so much for joining me
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  on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it,
• 25:26
  please give it a five star rating and review.
• 25:29
  And maybe you know someone that would also benefit from this
• 25:33
  particular episode, in which case share the episode with them
• 25:37
  so they can also get the benefit too.
• 25:40
  And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
• 25:44
  the hypnosis, so no intro, no outro, no explanation, just the
• 25:49
  hypnosis and completely ad free, there will be a link in the
• 25:53
  description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
• 25:57
  only get access to the hypnosis O if that's of interest, please
• 26:01
  check that out. Thank you again for being a
• 26:05
  regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again
• 26:08
  soon for more.