Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when you ignore a narcissist?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about what do narcissists think
- 0:06when you ignore them? When you ignore a narcissistic
- 0:10person? I know it made you think, didn't
- 0:13it? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:14Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:15narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:17of the narcissist. Coke.
- 0:35Boom. Welcome back.
- 0:36Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:38Yes, yes, yes. The Mind of a narcissist when
- 0:43you ignore them. Before we hop into today's
- 0:46episode, y'all join my mailing list.
- 0:48My very first course, understanding the seven stages
- 0:51of a narcissistic relationship is coming out this week.
- 0:54Newsletter e-mail list link is in the description of every
- 0:57video I post. But yes, y'all, yes yes yes.
- 1:02Oh, ignoring a narcissist. Let's just start off by saying
- 1:09this. They don't like it.
- 1:11Most narcissistic people do not like being annoyed.
- 1:16Yeah, they they hate it. It can drive them crazy.
- 1:18Because if you're ignoring me, that means that in my the way my
- 1:23mind works is if you're ignoring me, that means you're
- 1:26entertaining someone else. They can all they they can only
- 1:30be. They can be damn damn near.
- 1:31The only reason why you would ignore me is if you have someone
- 1:35else. That's what.
- 1:37That's where a narcissist mind goes all the time.
- 1:39Yeah, it damn near automatically goes to you having someone else
- 1:43because that empowers them right there.
- 1:45That makes them feel a certain type of way right there.
- 1:47Because like it, it just allows them to escape any type of
- 1:51accountability. It's just like, well, you must
- 1:53have someone else and no one, no reason because because you can
- 1:56move. On so quickly.
- 1:58That's. Why I had some, that's why I
- 2:00have someone else, that's why. I'm.
- 2:02I started a new relationship. That's why I'm doing this.
- 2:04That's why I'm doing that. That's where their mind goes
- 2:07right there. Y'all that's literally the the
- 2:10part of the that's that's where their mind goes in this space.
- 2:13They automatically go to the fact that you they automatically
- 2:15think you have someone else you know.
- 2:18And when you ignore them, they try to look.
- 2:20A lot of times when you ignore narcissists, they try to force
- 2:22their way back into your life. You know, they'll say they'll
- 2:26send you a picture of a hospital bracelet or something like that,
- 2:29just like you know. Or they'll post it online trying
- 2:34to get somebody to reach out to you.
- 2:36Can't believe I'm here right now.
- 2:38Can't believe they're not feeling too good.
- 2:41Wish I had somebody by my side. Or they'll just take a picture
- 2:44of a hospital bracelet, you know?
- 2:46Or picture like they have some tubes in their nose and it's
- 2:49just like a picture. Like, they like they have some
- 2:51tubes in their nose and it's really just some Airpods, you
- 2:54know, or the Airpods, the the the headphones with the wire in
- 2:58them. It makes it look like it, you
- 2:59know what I mean? They sit over there in the
- 3:02hospital with with the cable. They they know like this, try to
- 3:06make it seem like they need some help because they want you to
- 3:09stop ignoring them. They want you to reach out.
- 3:11They want to see if you still care.
- 3:13They want to see if you'll still be there.
- 3:14They want to see if they still have access to you.
- 3:16You know they're planting seeds. Don't take the bait.
- 3:20Don't take the bait. Because when you take the bait
- 3:24of narcissists and talk to people, this is what happens.
- 3:26This is the end result of taking the damn bait.
- 3:30Like seriously. That's why I just tell.
- 3:31I try to tell as many people as I possibly can to not take the
- 3:34bait. Because once you do, that's when
- 3:37they get you. Y'all, let's just be realistic.
- 3:38Let's just keep it hot and ready.
- 3:41When you take the bait they think that you are.
- 3:44They think you know they still will always have access to you.
- 3:47They hate being ignored. Y'all.
- 3:48They hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it.
- 3:51You know, I know. Blocking, blocking and ignoring.
- 3:54Like narcissists. Most narcissists hate being
- 3:56blocked more than being ignored. But ignored, then ignored sets
- 3:59them off. You know, being ignored.
- 4:01Just like, OK, I can still see what you have going on, but
- 4:04you're not. You know you're not
- 4:05acknowledging my existence. They feel entitled to your
- 4:09acknowledgement of their existence.
- 4:11Like you have to acknowledge my existence.
- 4:13Because I because I'm me. I don't care how I treated you.
- 4:17I still you shouldn't ignore me. And then look, this is what some
- 4:19narcissists will say during this period right here.
- 4:21Y'all they'll just say, hey, look, I know I cheated on you.
- 4:24I know I put my hands on you. I know I stole from you.
- 4:26I know I manipulated. I know I lied to you.
- 4:28I know I gaslighted you. But I never ignored you.
- 4:32You're what you're doing right now is much more worse than what
- 4:34I did to you. Much, much worse than what I did
- 4:36to you. I would never ignore you.
- 4:39And look at you ignoring me. Wow.
- 4:41Wow, wow. You see, they'll try to make it.
- 4:44They'll try to to make it seem like you are doing them worse
- 4:46than they did you by you just ignoring them.
- 4:50How ignorant does that sound? Y'all.
- 4:52You know how ignorant does it sound like?
- 4:54They like, yeah, I hate it. I used to hate when my y'all
- 4:57know I had a narcissistic ex. I hate when she ignored me.
- 5:00We used to work together. Yeah, we worked together.
- 5:04I hate talking about this. I hate talking about this woman,
- 5:06but I need to sometimes, you know, because it helps me heal.
- 5:08But it really just, you know, we work with somebody y'all dating
- 5:14or whatever, and then y'all just she ignoring you, you know, only
- 5:18talks to you when they needs help with a customer or
- 5:20something. Yeah, it just sucks being
- 5:22ignored. I know it it gets on your
- 5:24nerves, you know? And it did turn out that she did
- 5:27have someone else. But yeah, that's part of it.
- 5:31Y'all I know it's. I know I sound bitter like you
- 5:33sound bitter like you sound like you're hurt.
- 5:35I. Am it did hurt.
- 5:37Damn. I'm allowed to hurt you.
- 5:39Allowed to hurt. I'm allowed to hurt too.
- 5:41Damn it. But yeah, that's how it goes.
- 5:46That's why I. I.
- 5:47Do seriously want child to win. Like I'm rooting for every
- 5:51single one they got out there. So if you were ignoring a
- 5:54narcissist, you might want to transition to blocking them.
- 5:56I know everybody can't ignore them, but everybody can't block
- 6:00them because you might have kids together.
- 6:01It might be court ordered or whatever, but they, like I said,
- 6:05when you ignore them, they are going to try to get a reaction
- 6:08from you. You know, you want to transition
- 6:10to their blocking because blocking is the final step in
- 6:12healing most times. But you they hate being ignored
- 6:16too. Like I said, I hate being
- 6:17ignored. Like some of them will pop up at
- 6:19your job. They will try to force
- 6:20engagement. They will try to force you not
- 6:22to ignore them. They'll pop up at your job
- 6:24because they feel like they're entitled to.
- 6:26They'll stalk you, they'll follow you in your car.
- 6:28They might not like, they might not even say anything to you.
- 6:30They might just be following behind you.
- 6:32You know, they might, you might be going, going to work in the
- 6:34morning and you see them outside and they'll just sitting out
- 6:37there, sitting outside or whatever, looking at you, You
- 6:40know, they said I'll try. They're sitting outside your
- 6:43house just looking at you. Like what up, You know, just
- 6:47messing with you, trying to get into your head, trying to get
- 6:49into your mind, your mind brain trying to get into your head.
- 6:54That's what they do. That's part of it.
- 6:57Y'all like, I so want everybody to win.
- 7:00I so want everybody to have this experience where you're growing
- 7:03and healing and thriving and whatnot.
- 7:05But like, they will try to pop up on you.
- 7:07They'll try to get scary. You might have to file
- 7:09harassment charges or, you know, go down to the Police
- 7:12Department. If you don't want to file
- 7:13charges, just go open up a file some.
- 7:15Some police departments I heard will let you come open up a
- 7:17file. Just say, hey, look, I'm being,
- 7:19I feel like I'm being stoked. I don't want to press charges
- 7:20right now because it might set them off.
- 7:22I just need to let y'all know what's going on.
- 7:24Some, I think some departments will let you do that because
- 7:26they hate being ignored. Y'all.
- 7:27Some of them will react very, very negatively when they be
- 7:30ignored. You know, like I said, they'll
- 7:32start reaching out to your family members and friends.
- 7:34I just want to make sure that you're OK.
- 7:36I want to make sure that the dog, I want to make sure that
- 7:39the dog that I never. Cared about when we were
- 7:41together. I want to make sure Fido is OK.
- 7:45The cat that I kicked a couple of times that hates me.
- 7:48They will hiss at me when I walk by.
- 7:49I just want to make sure that cat didn't get out.
- 7:52I haven't heard from you. Just let me know that you're
- 7:54safe. Please, please let me know
- 7:55you're safe. They are.
- 7:57You are safe. Y'all you know, Sometimes, like
- 8:00I said, sometimes you might have to send if you are planning on
- 8:02trying to get a restraining order.
- 8:03Sometimes you might have to send that final message saying hey
- 8:06please leave me alone. You know you had to put out
- 8:08there into the universe that you've asked this person to
- 8:10leave you alone, right? Because sometimes it doesn't
- 8:13work. It doesn't happen that way.
- 8:14Sometimes, like if you don't have the evidence the people
- 8:16would like I just get dot your IS and cross your TS.
- 8:20But also, y'all. Remember earlier I said some
- 8:23narcissists, but most narcissists hate being ignored.
- 8:26There are some narcissistic people that will.
- 8:29This is a rarity right here. But there are some narcissists
- 8:32that take being ignored as kind of a weird badge of honor.
- 8:36You know what I mean? They take being ignored like
- 8:38they got the and this is not good.
- 8:39Let me preface this by saying this.
- 8:43This is not me telling you to not ignore them.
- 8:46Because at the end of the day, who cares what they think as
- 8:49long as they're not trying to hurt you or harm you or
- 8:51something like that, right? But some of them, some
- 8:53narcissistic people, Y'all when you are ignoring them, they take
- 8:57that as a as a as a good thing for them.
- 9:00It actually builds their ego up. I know it sounds strange, but it
- 9:03actually come it actually builds their ego.
- 9:07Their ego actually amplifies. Like, look, I made you ignore
- 9:10me. I hurt you so badly because some
- 9:13narcissistic people like hurting you.
- 9:14Let's be real. I hurt you so bad that you're
- 9:16ignoring me now. You can't take anymore.
- 9:18I punish you. Enough.
- 9:20You can't take it anymore. So they ignore.
- 9:23They're ignoring me. They blocked me.
- 9:27Yes. I triggered you so badly.
- 9:30I hurt you so badly that you blocked me.
- 9:32Yeah, I feel great. I feel amazing that I got
- 9:35blocked. That's the mindset of some
- 9:37weirdo, narcissistic people. But that's them trying to
- 9:40justify it, you know? That's them trying to justify a
- 9:42lot of things, a lot of their actions and trying to feel good
- 9:45about something, having something to feel good about.
- 9:48You know, some of them take pride in being ignored and being
- 9:50blocked because they know they've that they know they've
- 9:52harmed you or they know they've damaged you.
- 9:54And again, this is not me saying to unblock them or not to engage
- 9:58with them. Hell no, That's not what I'm
- 10:00saying. Y'all don't twist my words.
- 10:02That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying that at all.
- 10:06Right. So what I am saying is that this
- 10:11is that the way the mind of a narcissistic person works,
- 10:13right? You know it.
- 10:16It's the way the mind of a narcissist or a toxic person
- 10:19works. It's like how things go within a
- 10:21dynamic within that space right there.
- 10:23Like, they hate being ignored. Most of them hate being ignored,
- 10:26you know? But some of them will take pride
- 10:28in the pain that they put you through, the suffering that they
- 10:29put you through. And some of them will absolutely
- 10:31let you know that they they, they take pride in that.
- 10:34Yeah, because the mind of a narcissistic person works weird
- 10:37like being being ignored. It's like you're like when you
- 10:40ignore them and they don't like it.
- 10:42The ones that don't like being ignored, it's like you're
- 10:44cutting off a form of supply for them.
- 10:46So they hate that. They hate when you cut off that
- 10:49supply for them. They hate when you do that type
- 10:52of stuff right there. You know, they.
- 10:54Yeah, I'm just telling you, they absolutely hate when you cut off
- 10:57that supply. When you ignore them, they that
- 11:00you're giving your supply to someone else.
- 11:03You know, they think that you're giving the validation that they
- 11:06get from you. They think you're getting it.
- 11:07They think you're giving it to someone else and they hate it
- 11:10with a raw, seething passion. They absolutely do.
- 11:15This is one of those things that they really load, load, you know
- 11:19what I'm saying? LOATHE low da, low da.
- 11:24You know what I mean? But yeah, that's why I'm just
- 11:26telling people, I tell people this all the time.
- 11:28I try to help people, helping help with business people as
- 11:30possible, just because who cared?
- 11:31Like at the end of the day, how they feel when they're being
- 11:35ignored should not have an effect on your life.
- 11:37Don't let them feel. Make you feel bad for being
- 11:40ignored. I'll see my cat back there.
- 11:42Sometimes you hate having a black cat.
- 11:43It's a black curtain, a black couch.
- 11:45He just be merging into stuff. Oh my goodness.
- 11:50But yeah, they hate it. It's like it doesn't affect your
- 11:53life. Don't let your empathy be
- 11:55weaponized against you because they will take your the way that
- 11:58you feel about them. They will use it against you in
- 12:00the end. They would.
- 12:01Most narcissistic people want to do anything that benefits them
- 12:04in some way, shape or form, you know, and they don't want you
- 12:06giving your supply to someone else even.
- 12:08And it's going to sound crazy, I know, I said.
- 12:10When I every time I say this, I have the preface it right.
- 12:13It's going to sound crazy. It's absolutely going to sound
- 12:16ignorant, but even if they have someone else, even if they have
- 12:20moved on or in a relationship with someone else, even if they
- 12:23have a new BFF or a new employee, whatever it is,
- 12:26whatever the role they play in your life, even if they have
- 12:29that, they still might hate being ignored by you.
- 12:31They still might feel entitled to your space.
- 12:33Oh wow, you with someone else. I see how it is right now.
- 12:36Thought we could be friends. What you with?
- 12:38Somebody else? Don't get me sorted on that.
- 12:41Y'all. But anyways, y'all.
- 12:43I'm super grateful for every single one of y'all.
- 12:44Again, make sure y'all subscribe to the newsletter.
- 12:47My course is coming. I have a course video series and
- 12:50then I also have a community that I'm active, super active in
- 12:53a healing support community as well.
- 12:55That is going to be the community is going to be
- 12:57amazing. Y'all I promise you.
- 12:59It's a small healing. Well it's not small, it's going
- 13:00to be big. But thank you so much for tuning
- 13:02in. Like subscribe more, but tell
- 13:04them this is that piece. Thank you so much for making it
- 13:07to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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- 13:25Thank you. I will see you in the next
- 13:26video. Peace.