Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / The Bunkhouse Live | Train As You Fight: JJ Hardy on Turning PTSD Into Post-Traumatic Growth

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The Bunkhouse Live | Train As You Fight: JJ Hardy on Turning PTSD Into Post-Traumatic Growth · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

0:07
There were times I was looking. At myself in the mirror, like,
0:10
dude, why are you putting on khakis?
0:16
Where Gunny Holly, who was blown up and killed, who had two
0:19
children? I lived in a reality for about,
0:23
I think 15 years. That it should have been me.
0:29
The source of strength has never been you.
0:31
It has always been from somewhere else.
0:33
It's just my belief that mine is from God and I, I choose to rely
0:37
on God. I'm far from.
0:38
Perfect. I screw up all the time, but my
0:42
life is at peace. I have found a point past the
0:45
storm where I am at peace. When things got really bad,
0:52
which they will, we all are going to have times in our life
0:55
where we just can't handle some things.
0:57
To know that reaching out for help is an option.
0:59
It's the same as going to the doctor.
1:01
When you you can't get over the common cold and it's turned into
1:05
something crazy, sinus infection, you got to go to a
1:08
doctor and get medicine. It's the same with your mental
1:10
health. Hey everybody, welcome back to
1:33
the Bunkhouse here live every Monday night at 6:00 PM Eastern
1:36
5 Central on military broadcast radio where we give veterans a
1:39
voice. If you could go ahead and follow
1:41
the links down below, share, like get on there, give me some
1:45
comments, give me some feedback. Please let me know what you
1:47
think. And as I always like to try to
1:49
shout out to is if there's anybody out there listening
1:51
tonight that's going through anything or you know, somebody
1:54
that might be going through something, please let them know
1:56
that they're not alone. They can call the crisis crisis
1:59
line at 988 Press 1 to get to the veteran crisis line.
2:02
Again, it's OK to be not OK. And let's let's talk about
2:06
things. Don't let anything distract you.
2:07
Don't let anything deter you from reaching for help.
2:09
So please go ask for help if you need it.
2:14
And before we get into bringing our guests on, another thing I'd
2:17
like to do is promote some stuff to some local veteran groups are
2:20
doing here in Eastern North Carolina.
2:22
Save 22 is putting on a golf tournament in Calabash, NC.
2:26
If you could scan the QR code, get there, look at the
2:29
information. If you're in Eastern North
2:31
Carolina, you're more than welcome to go ahead and and
2:34
register to participate in a tournament or there's also
2:37
opportunities if you want to be a sponsor, either a whole
2:40
sponsor, event sponsor. There's different tiers on
2:42
there. So go ahead and check it out.
2:44
Again, all about promoting and supporting A fellow veterans and
2:47
what they're doing to give back to the veteran community.
2:50
But before we get into it, let's get a little announcement from
2:55
Military Broadcast Radio, the station where our veterans
2:58
voices are heard. MBR talk.
3:02
Hey, thanks for supporting our channel by watching and
3:04
listening. Find us on the web at NB radio
3:07
dot. All right, now that we're back,
3:12
my next guest for tonight is going to be JJ Hardy.
3:16
Hey, JJ, welcome to the show, brother.
3:19
Oh, you're muted, brother, You're muted.
3:22
OK, well you know that's what happens when you go live right
3:25
now. It is there for.
3:26
Having me on, how you doing man? Don't give me it's been a while
3:29
since we we've gotten together. I know you've been on my pre
3:32
records that I do monthly. I've been on your show, but it's
3:35
been a while. It has.
3:38
So yeah, I'm excited to be here. No, I appreciate it man.
3:41
Could give everybody a quick little introduction about who
3:44
you are, what you did while you're in the military.
3:45
Just a quick rundown. Sure.
3:48
So again, my name is JJ Hardy. I am AUS Army veteran like John.
3:53
Even though we were in separate services, we, we both got out of
3:57
CW twos. I was a Warrant Officer.
4:00
My, my job was a little bit different.
4:02
I was, I was in transportation. So I was the guy who made sure
4:07
that large amounts of equipment and people made it from point A
4:12
to point B, whether that was 100 miles away or a few 1000 miles
4:16
away when it came time for training or deploying.
4:20
Did that for almost 18 years until the Army said I was done.
4:23
I didn't say I was done, but now I'm running a running a business
4:29
and and doing a casual podcast. Yeah, that's awesome, man.
4:33
Yeah, I, I and we talked about this quite a bit on, on our, on
4:36
our times together, man. You have a a similar story when
4:40
it comes to our time being cut short, but not because of our
4:42
own choosing, You know, and it that happens to, that happens to
4:46
a lot of us out there is like you get to a certain point, like
4:49
it's like your body gets to a certain point of stress that it
4:52
just really, it's almost like it feels like it gives up, you
4:54
know, it just stops working like it's supposed to.
4:57
It works fine, just not to military standards.
5:01
Yeah, absolutely right. You're absolutely right.
5:03
Like just like me coming from a communications MOS or like
5:07
specifically doing IT work, I could do my job, the technical
5:10
side of my job, perfectly fine. I just didn't do the Marine
5:12
Corps stuff anymore, you know, so.
5:16
Same. Same.
5:17
Yeah. I could still go out there and
5:18
do transportation logistics of any kind.
5:21
Rail, air truck, doesn't matter. I could do any of that stuff.
5:26
But as a matter, you know, when it comes to doing the physical
5:29
side, my body is not quite where it used to be.
5:33
I'm not putting a big rucksack on my back anymore, I'll tell
5:35
you that much. Yeah, I know the feeling, man.
5:40
But yeah, if you could get quick, let everybody know kind
5:42
of going through your transition and everything and, and where
5:47
did you take from your time in and, and even post transition
5:50
that kind of got you where you are today with the with the
5:53
things that we're that you're doing.
5:54
And we'll get in more detail of what each one of those things
5:56
are later in the show, but just kind of a quick overview of what
5:59
that looks like. Yeah.
6:01
So overall my passion these days is leadership.
6:04
And you know, when you, when you rewind my life back to my
6:07
military service, that's what I miss the most, is that people
6:12
actually cared for one another. And I think that's, believe it
6:15
or not, what moves the needle in in personal life and business
6:20
too. And a lot of people don't really
6:21
make those connections after they get out, but they know that
6:24
something's missing. Now.
6:26
I didn't feel the great leadership when I transitioned,
6:29
you know that I talked about that when I was on your show the
6:32
last time. I wasn't feeling the love at
6:34
all. You know, it's like I was a a
6:37
faulty piece of equipment that needed to sit in the corner for
6:39
a little while. And and looking back on it, I'm
6:44
not as upset as I was when I was getting out, but it really made
6:47
it very difficult because I went from being a so-called hero,
6:52
right? You know, I was the guy that
6:54
they called whenever they had questions for a lot of different
6:57
things, not just the things that were within my technical job,
7:00
but just I was kind of a go to guy for a lot of things.
7:04
And then the moment that they put me through a medical
7:07
evaluation because they saw me struggling a few different times
7:11
when I was out doing PT and went on a rock March one time and I
7:16
didn't do well. But you know, once they gave me
7:18
that label that it was my time to get out and it wasn't because
7:22
I was physically retiring, it was because I had a medical
7:26
issue. Well, then they treated me kind
7:27
of like yesterday's garbage. And, and I, I don't understand
7:32
how you can have so much time and service and then these
7:35
people that have a third of your time and service or less are
7:39
telling you that you're not allowed to do your job, that you
7:42
just kind of have to sit there and take up space until you get
7:45
your orders to retire. Well, because I ended up
7:48
medically retiring. Yeah, I know it's it's it was
7:52
kind of the same for me. Like I had, I had a similar
7:54
experience that not everybody I I had certain one like onesies
7:58
and twosies that didn't treat me any different, even though they
8:01
knew I was getting out, right. But they were definitely some
8:05
folks that some of my some of my leaders personally that
8:09
definitely, and even some of my peers even looked at me a little
8:12
differently. Like, you know, because there
8:15
were a lot of things that I just couldn't do anymore.
8:16
I couldn't go to the field. I couldn't stand duty.
8:18
Like there's a lot of things that I just couldn't do anymore.
8:20
And I could definitely tell that they started really separating
8:26
themselves mentally and emotionally with me and, and
8:30
even physically sometimes, you know, and it, it, it was just
8:33
one of those things that's like, and that's one of those things
8:35
like I took from a lot of those experiences into what I do
8:38
today. I don't like it does like as
8:40
long as you can still provide to your job and what the what your
8:44
actual mission is, then a that's that's really all that matters
8:47
in my opinion, you know, especially out the military,
8:50
outside the military, I should say.
8:52
Yeah, well, and I, and I challenge any veteran who's
8:54
going through some struggles after they leave 'cause I did,
8:57
you know, it wasn't just that transition itself.
9:00
Once I got out, I missed a lot of things, you know, people
9:04
coming together and doing things.
9:06
Once I once I got my first civilian job after the military,
9:11
you know, I noticed that the civilian world, man, people are
9:16
mostly for themselves and it's, it's, it's the Whitham model,
9:21
you know, it's the what's in it for me and and that you know,
9:24
and I'm not, I'm not, I was never used to that.
9:27
I mean, I, there were obviously onesies and twosies here and
9:30
there, but when push comes to shove, you kind of come together
9:35
and there's, there's like an unspoken camaraderie that you
9:38
have with other people that are wearing the uniform.
9:40
And I've noticed that even after I got out, which thankfully I
9:43
finally found my community, you know, once I got out of the
9:47
military locally in Virginia and I found them again when I moved
9:50
to Iowa. But it, it's just one of those
9:53
things where I just, there was something missing And you know,
9:59
it was the leadership, it was the people, it was all the
10:02
things. And it, it led me to a lot of
10:04
years of self discovery, probably 5 before I realize what
10:08
I actually wanted to do with my life, which is interesting
10:11
because you almost have to grow up again.
10:13
It's, it's like you're, it's like a rediscovery, kind of like
10:16
when you first became an adult. No, you're absolutely right man.
10:20
And and like I jokingly say this all the time to other veterans
10:23
soon. I think we even said it
10:25
jokingly, like when we, we on our, on our own shows, like
10:27
together is like the military does not teach us very well how
10:31
to be an adult in society, right, 'cause they take they,
10:35
and then that's what I mean, right?
10:36
Like they don't teach us how to be a civilian adult.
10:39
We are, we are taught and grown how to be an adult in the
10:42
military and how to lead. Lead for the most part, most
10:45
people learn how to properly lead.
10:47
So I'm just learn how to manage really well, right.
10:49
And we'll talk about that a little bit too 'cause there is a
10:52
there is a big difference between leading and managing.
10:54
Correct. Yes.
10:57
But yeah, and so like, like, again, we say it jokingly, but
10:59
it's true, is the military does not set us up for success on
11:03
being an adult in the civilian life.
11:05
Because you got to think, most of the folks that join the
11:08
military, they're directly out of high school, barely an adult
11:12
themselves just by society standards, and then go off and
11:16
get taught in this subculture way of living for 4 to 30 years.
11:22
And then they get out and expect to integrate right directly back
11:26
into civilian society with it all figured out.
11:30
And that's definitely not the case.
11:31
No, I mean, gosh, when you first start off you, you have a
11:35
barracks room assigned to you, unless you're married and then
11:37
you have housing assigned to you and then you move forward.
11:40
You, you actually have to get to learn how to go out and find a
11:42
place to rent. But then you're giving the rent
11:44
money every month in addition to what you're already getting
11:46
paid. And that's one thing they don't
11:48
really tell you too much of when you're going through your
11:50
transition is that now you actually have to budget for rent
11:54
out of what that salary is that you don't get that additional
11:56
money anymore. It, it should be a given, right?
11:59
But you'd be surprised how many junior people get out and
12:03
they're like, Oh my gosh, I can't afford life.
12:05
I'm making the same amount that I was in the military.
12:07
No, you weren't at all, not at all.
12:10
You were making a lot more than you thought.
12:12
But then in addition to that, they give you money for food
12:14
and, and you know, they, you have this huge support system
12:19
that supports you not just with your problems at work, but also
12:23
with your problems at home. I mean, it's like a 360
12:26
mentorship model where you're not just mentoring people in
12:30
their job, you're teaching them how to adult and helping them
12:34
through all of the situations, Bill, that you're having a hard
12:38
time paying. They tell you to go to Army
12:40
Community service or whatever the Marine Corps equivalent or,
12:43
or branch of service equivalent is that you served in.
12:45
And I mean, you have all these resources at your disposal that
12:49
when you get out, I mean, unless you have a really good
12:52
disability rating or you get lucky enough to get a medical
12:55
retirement, you get almost none of those resources.
12:59
Now you have to go find resources just like the average
13:03
civilian. And you know, if you if you went
13:06
through a long time and I hate to call it being
13:08
institutionalized, but it is, then you're used to the
13:13
resources that you had and you're not prepared for when
13:16
none of these those things are available to you anymore.
13:20
No, you're absolutely right. And, and that's one thing like I
13:22
started kind of like looking at is when after I got out, I was
13:25
like, OK, again, luckily I had some, I had some, I had some
13:29
really good mentorship and I, I, I had some, some really good
13:33
mentors that I, that had already transitioned out before I did
13:36
and, and some stuff that I talked to them about.
13:38
And it's like, these are things that people don't think about,
13:40
right? Like, like your medical benefits
13:42
for you and your entire family, you don't pay for that
13:46
essentially, right. Like that.
13:47
You don't, you don't pay for that out of pocket.
13:50
Going to the ER, going to the doctor on a regular basis,
13:52
medications, prescription eyewear, right?
13:56
All of those things are 100% paid for by Tricare, right?
14:01
Like you essentially get those things for free in the eyes of
14:05
the service member when you get out.
14:08
You don't have to pay an annual premium for medical care for
14:11
healthcare, right? For your, for your health
14:13
insurance. And depending on if your job
14:17
depends on how good of health insurance you may have, because
14:20
everybody has different programs or different vendors that they
14:23
go through. Now, I'm not saying Tricare is
14:26
the best medical like service out there, but it's, it's, I've
14:32
actually what I've seen, it's actually better than a lot of
14:34
especially depending on the company you work for, right?
14:36
If you work for a smaller company or firm, you may not
14:40
have the options to get or you have to pay more to get the
14:43
options you need to be able to support you and your family,
14:45
right? Almost.
14:46
Usually, always if you want anything extra, then what's on
14:49
that initial payment that you you have to pay for your health
14:53
insurance. Everything is extra.
14:56
I mean, you can pay down your deductibles and premiums and
14:59
all, all kinds of stuff, but you, they don't do a great job
15:03
explaining all that stuff even while you're going through the
15:05
process of getting insurance. They.
15:07
Don't. Yeah, no, but it it's way
15:10
different. You don't have to worry about
15:11
any of that. Right.
15:13
Yeah. And but yeah, I mean, it's, I
15:16
don't know. So what was I, I had a question
15:19
that is, so somebody posted here they would like to see how like
15:24
how your time in service kind of shaped your leadership if you
15:28
want to just real quick catch on that and then what kind of what
15:32
kind of move on. But yeah, your time in service,
15:34
what, how did that shape how you see and what you say is
15:37
leadership today? So what how it shapes
15:41
leadership? First of all, you actually have
15:43
to care for people. If you care for people,
15:46
everything works. But more than that, professional
15:49
development in in an organization has to be
15:54
intentional. And you know, for the most part,
15:58
all these companies I did, I work for in a company that a lot
16:01
of my clients work for, unless you explain why it's important,
16:06
it's not intentional. They there's no regular
16:09
progression. The military we had that we, if
16:12
I knew I was going to become an E5 either before I got promoted
16:15
or after, right after I got promoted, we were required to go
16:18
to NCO school. I'm sure it has a different name
16:20
now than what it was called when I was in.
16:22
It's called Warrior leader course when I was in, but who
16:25
knows what programs they have going on.
16:27
And you know, the next level, if you get promoted again, well,
16:30
it's you're expected within a certain amount of time to go to
16:32
the next level school. You get promoted again.
16:34
The next level school you get, you take special positions in
16:37
that grade. You got to go to a special
16:39
school for that. If you want to work in certain
16:41
staff positions, you got to take a certification for that.
16:43
They prepare you for everything at every level that you could
16:47
possibly want to do. And in the civilian world, they
16:50
basically give you a team and tell you to have a nice day.
16:54
Let me know if you need anything.
16:56
Oh, by the way, don't forget to show up on on Tuesdays and
16:59
Thursdays to report your numbers.
17:01
Yeah, yeah, Marine Corps does the same thing.
17:05
They, they, I, I think they do a really good job.
17:08
And I, I assume, like you said, all branches of service have
17:12
leadership courses or schools that they send their service
17:15
members to, right. And, and I mean, we start
17:19
leadership training literally at the at the bottom of the ladder,
17:23
right? It's like our E threes go to
17:25
what is called a Lance corporals course where they learn basic
17:28
introduction to leadership at the most junior level.
17:31
And then you have corporals course for the E4 sergeant's
17:34
course for the E fives. Then you have the staff Academy
17:37
for your staff, like for your staff or E sixes and your E
17:40
sixes and E sevens actually go to different leadership courses,
17:43
right. So E6 goes to what they call the
17:45
staff Academy and then you have E sevens go to advanced course.
17:49
And so like there for a while they, they, they promoted these
17:54
types of things as making you competitive for promotion.
17:56
But then everybody started doing it.
17:58
So it really became mandatory for promotion, right?
18:00
If you wanted to get promoted and move up the ranks as
18:03
leadership, like you had to do these extra things to make to
18:08
ensure that you were moving up the ladder.
18:10
And you're right, they don't have any kind of programs that
18:12
I've seen outside the military in any civilian job.
18:17
They will. They do have a budget for
18:18
professional development that they don't necessarily talk
18:21
about while you're working there.
18:22
And so if you can find a probe, most companies do not.
18:26
Now, if you're working for a small, maybe lower medium sized
18:29
company, likely they don't. But any company that starts
18:34
having a structure where there's HR and a couple staff heads, you
18:37
know, they start creating budgets for many things and
18:40
professional development is one of them.
18:42
And I didn't know that at first. As a matter of fact, when I
18:45
first started my business teaching leadership development,
18:47
I just thought that I'd be marketing to those people that
18:50
would need the, the professional development.
18:53
And I, as dumb as it may sound, I didn't realize that they
18:56
wouldn't be able to afford it anyway if they, they're not
18:59
getting paid enough money for that crap.
19:01
But you know, when you consider it, you talk to somebody, if you
19:05
let them know, hey, you know, hook me up with somebody in your
19:08
HR, you know, the head of HR, you know, somebody who can make
19:12
a decision on something like this.
19:13
And let's see if we can get not only get you enrolled in this
19:15
program, but let's get it paid for, for you.
19:17
So that I mean they not, I'm not saying that as to promote the
19:20
way I do service, but knowing that I mean, if you're in an
19:23
organization out there and you don't think there are
19:27
opportunities for professional development, then that just
19:31
means nobody's had the conversation about what kind of
19:33
opportunities you do have available to you.
19:36
Yeah, yeah. Real quick, we do have a
19:39
question from one of the viewers.
19:41
What was the hardest part of rebuilding kind of a sense of
19:44
purpose after leaving the Army? So what kind of kick started you
19:48
into getting you where you are today?
19:51
Well, you can find, you can dig into more detail on that in my
19:56
book that I wrote, it's called Speak Up, Show up lead.
19:58
But I will go ahead and say that there was an activating event.
20:03
I was lost for the first couple years after I got out.
20:08
I yeah, it was hard that it was not easy to transition from the
20:12
military. I didn't all these job
20:14
descriptions that you read out there, you know, you may have
20:18
done stuff related to a lot of the things that they said, but
20:21
this, the requirements that they had, like the mandatory
20:24
requirements, none of it seemed familiar.
20:26
So it made you feel like that you went from the most qualified
20:30
person in the world to the most unqualified person in the world.
20:36
And so that was very difficult. But what actually turned that
20:38
around is I kind of punched myself in the face after my
20:42
brother passed away. He was 35 years old, never left
20:45
the state, never went to, had multiple combat engagements,
20:49
never had an opportunity to travel overseas at all or really
20:54
leave the state of Iowa too many times.
20:56
And he passed at the age of 35. It was a, it was, it was a kind
21:00
of a kick in the balls moment, to be quite honest with you,
21:03
because I was thinking to myself, I'm over here struggling
21:08
and I don't know the religious affiliation for anybody in your
21:12
audience over here, but I, I'm, I'm, I'm a Christian.
21:16
I was a Catholic for the longest time.
21:17
But you know, now I just consider myself a good
21:19
Christian. And I thought to myself, if God
21:22
brought him home so young and I'm still here after all that
21:28
I've been through, then what the heck am I doing wallowing in
21:33
self pity? I need to go out there and do
21:36
something. And it was because of that that
21:40
I ended up really digging deep to find my purpose.
21:42
And I was relentless about it, to be quite honest with you.
21:45
And once I started working for a couple companies, it it was very
21:50
obvious what my purpose was because I helped turn their
21:53
leadership around in their companies.
21:55
I had the right conversations, my team was super high
21:58
performing and I never felt like I was doing anything special.
22:02
I was just treating them like people and making sure that if
22:04
they had any troubles, I was there for them.
22:06
And you know, there's something to be said about knowing what to
22:11
do. The military beats it into your
22:13
head. You go to sarge time training,
22:14
you go to Warrant Officer professional development, you go
22:17
to officer professional development.
22:18
They tell, they talk about all the things that people are
22:21
struggling with on their end and when you talk about how to fix
22:24
them and you know that doesn't happen in the civilian world.
22:29
And it should, it really, really should.
22:31
And it then because I knew what to do, it gave me a leg up.
22:35
I am no better and no different than anyone else in any
22:39
organization out there. I just had the right upbringing
22:43
is what I like to say. And so I decided to use that to
22:46
my advantage and it, and honestly, I may have been
22:50
digging for my sense of purpose, but I didn't find it as much as
22:54
it just kind of fell in my lap because it was quite obvious.
22:59
Yeah. I think there's a lot of us
23:01
veteran wise specifically that go through that almost that same
23:05
type of growth post services. We we starting to feel like, OK,
23:10
well, what are we supposed to do?
23:12
Like you don't, you don't really have a purpose like you did when
23:14
you're in the military. It was super, super easy to know
23:17
what the mission was. You had like explicit objectives
23:21
and tasking, like all the things were laid out.
23:23
You knew what you had to do and you get out and it's like, man,
23:26
like what would I do now? And like you said, is you look
23:29
at some of the job postings and, and in service members are the
23:33
biggest, I would say the biggest ones when it comes to imposter
23:37
syndrome. I know I, I still even today
23:39
have imposter syndrome and things right like, and I, and I
23:43
will say I am very fortunate that I had a really good boss
23:46
today at my, at the company I work for today.
23:49
Me and him have open and very honest conversations on a
23:51
regular basis. And I tell him was like, I don't
23:55
feel like I'm doing, I feel like I'm not doing enough.
23:56
I feel like I'm not doing a good job, right?
23:58
And he's, and luckily he'll tell me and he's, he's very honest
24:00
and he'll let me know when I'm not doing a good job.
24:02
But again, it's that imposter syndrome.
24:04
Like you said, you see some of these qualifications.
24:06
You're like, I don't have anything close to these things,
24:09
right? Like you want to, you want like
24:10
a master's degree and all these certifications for a mid level
24:14
job. I'm like, how, how do people do
24:17
that? You know, and you're like, I'm
24:18
never going to be sick. And you, you start getting in
24:20
your own head and think you're never going to be successful in
24:23
the workforce because you just can't meet these expectations.
24:26
But again, it's I, I've learned it's sometimes you kind of have
24:31
to force your way into the door to have the conversation to
24:35
prove that you are ready to be there, right?
24:38
A lot of times. And, and that's kind of, I think
24:42
what, what like with you, that's kind of what you've done.
24:44
You kind of, you got to a moment in life to where you're like,
24:47
what am I doing? Like I need to do something
24:49
purposeful. And that's what you did.
24:50
You forced yourself into that direction, so to speak, and and
24:54
kind of pushed your way into the audience of what your purpose
24:59
needs to be. I did, and honestly, I tested
25:04
that theory in the very last job that I worked for.
25:06
And I think I've told you this before, but I created a
25:09
nationwide leadership development program that was
25:12
centered around having conversations about the topics
25:14
that matter. And you know, for everybody
25:19
who's listening out there, I talked about this on my podcast.
25:21
But you want to return, you want to turn your retention numbers
25:24
in the opposite direction. If you want to stop having as
25:27
much turnover because you know how much, how expensive it is to
25:29
train somebody else, talk about the things that matter.
25:33
Actually take interest in your junior leaders and mentor them
25:37
through the stuff that they're having a hard time with.
25:40
Even if they don't say they're having a hard time, they
25:43
absolutely are. I mean, it's called leadership
25:46
for a reason. You can be a manager and be the
25:50
opposite of what a leader is and you can be a ground employee and
25:56
be the best leader in your company because your team
25:58
respects you more than anybody else in that company could
26:01
respect even your first manager. And so it, it's really important
26:06
to understand that talking about the things that matter and
26:09
helping people, I mean, gosh, we're, you got to help people.
26:13
People struggle, especially when they're a manager.
26:16
It's like you're walking around the, the office all day and
26:20
dealing with fires all the time. I mean, you're like riding a
26:24
bicycle with bent tires with a, with a fire shooting at your
26:27
behind or something. Like that's what it's like to be
26:29
a manager. And you know, if you don't, if
26:31
you don't help get somebody, help somebody work through the
26:35
stuff that happens as a result of having to put out all those
26:37
fires all the time, they're either going to create bad
26:40
habits, they're going to absolutely hate it, or they're
26:43
going to fall on their face and they're going to end up being
26:45
fired or demoted. No, you're absolutely right.
26:48
And and real quick, I was listening to a podcast the other
26:52
day. Most of if if you're in the
26:55
leadership or just business in general and leadership, you've
26:58
probably heard of Simon Sinek, but he was talking about and his
27:01
one of the big things I think it resonated with me was like
27:04
people don't leave companies. They leave the bosses they work
27:08
for, right? They leave the culture that's
27:10
built in that in that organization.
27:13
They don't leave the company because the company is bad and
27:16
isn't doing well. They leave because the culture
27:18
and the leadership aren't well and do not support their growth,
27:22
right? That's what really happens in my
27:24
opinion, and I agree with that 100% too, right.
27:27
I. Mean gosh it.
27:30
It's easy to understand that people will take lower pay if
27:33
they have a good work environment.
27:35
Absolutely. I mean, honestly, we actually
27:38
like looking back. I didn't realize this when I was
27:40
a young leader in the Marine Corps.
27:42
But like looking back, the Marines that when the service
27:44
members that would get out after four years, a lot of times they
27:47
left because it's not they didn't, they didn't like the
27:50
institution. Is it because they didn't care
27:51
for the institution? It's because they had some bad
27:53
leaders that really put a bad taste in their mouth for the
27:55
rest of the institution, right. And that's why they left.
27:58
It's not because of the institution itself, it's the
28:01
leaders that they had along the way that gave them the bad
28:03
taste, you know? Yep, Yep, I agree.
28:08
And Richard, to answer your question, to be on the other
28:11
side of the conversation, I just love podcasting.
28:14
It doesn't matter what side of the conversation I'm on.
28:16
I'm I'm game for it. If you have one, let me know.
28:19
I'll be on your podcast too. I love having conversations
28:25
about around things that matter. I think raising awareness for
28:30
any issue, whether it's veteran transition, struggling leaders,
28:37
self leadership, you know, trying to make it in life, it
28:40
doesn't matter. I think having conversations
28:43
around things that people struggle with is absolutely
28:46
important because you never know when somebody's going to stumble
28:48
across that conversation. And if they hear that you were
28:50
able to get through it, that could be the one thing that
28:54
pushes them to be able to get past whatever they're going
28:57
through. You're absolutely right.
29:01
And I think this is going to be a great time to take our first
29:04
break, JJ. And when we come back, we're
29:06
going to get more into the leadership lessons, kind of
29:09
learn the hard way after the break.
29:12
And just so everybody knows, during the break, play a little
29:15
bit of music here from Dallas and Alexander, he's a prior,
29:18
he's a, he's a veteran himself. He was a, he was a sniper and
29:22
has and recorded the world's longest shot at 2.2 miles, like
29:25
in combat, recorded a 2.2 mile shot.
29:28
So we'll be back here in about 3 minutes.
32:30
All right, welcome back, everybody to the Bunkhouse here
32:32
live on military broadcast radio where we give veterans a voice.
32:35
Yeah, again, that again, that was Dallas Alexander.
32:38
He's actually a Canadian veteran.
32:40
He was a sniper, got attached to some, some joint task forces
32:44
working with the US services and recorded a 2.2 mile shot, a kill
32:51
shot. Like that's impressive, right?
32:54
And again, taking everything that you learn.
32:56
And now he's making music out in Nashville and stuff.
32:59
And any time we take a break, we try to play some music and we
33:02
play music. It's all they're all for.
33:03
They're all veterans. Every bit of music we play
33:05
during our breaks are all for veterans.
33:06
So all right, real quick, Jji, think this next question that
33:15
I'm going to bring up on the screen works really well into
33:17
our next topic. We're going to talk about some
33:19
kind of some leadership lessons learned, but like the hard way
33:21
of learning those lessons, right?
33:23
And so coming in for the first time for first time managers,
33:28
what's the only leadership mistake that you see from most
33:31
that most often? And what should they be doing
33:33
differently from day one? Oh gosh, I have to break it down
33:40
into two, so OK, go ahead. I think the biggest thing is
33:46
thinking that they have to solve all these problems that are
33:48
going on by themselves. You know, you have a structure
33:53
at most companies for a reason, whether you're in a small
33:56
company and there's an owner there that that you're working
33:59
for or, or Superintendent or whatever the case may be, it
34:03
doesn't matter. It could just be a teammate that
34:06
you notice is doing a lot better than you are.
34:08
You don't have to do anything, you know, just by yourself.
34:12
If you if you just have a team and that's all you can rely on,
34:16
I guarantee that whether you're leading that team or not, I bet
34:20
you somebody has enough experience to be able to help
34:23
you along with whatever struggle you're going through.
34:26
That's one mistake 2. And I believe this deep down in
34:31
my heart is you know, you got to take radical ownership.
34:35
I think that problems happen on your team and it is really,
34:41
really easy to go up to a person that made a mistake and lay it
34:47
on them. But you know, honestly, what
34:50
happens most times in business is that the systems at work
34:53
probably failed somebody. Either they weren't they either
34:56
they didn't have something explained to them properly, they
34:59
didn't have enough people helping them with that thing
35:02
that they didn't do well. Or, you know, they asked for
35:06
help and maybe there was a policy that hindered them from
35:08
being able to do what they needed to do to get that job
35:11
done. You got to look at what you can
35:13
do. This is where the ownership
35:15
comes in. You got to look at what you can
35:17
do to influence what happened in that to make sure it doesn't
35:21
happen again. Yeah, I I agree 100%, man.
35:26
And this is this is, this is a good comment here.
35:28
This such a good example how difficult experiences can
35:30
eventually become something that helps other people.
35:32
Absolutely right. And so that's probably one thing
35:35
that I've learned as I grew in my military service, the longer
35:41
that I stayed in, the more like leadership positions I grew
35:43
into. And especially now that I'm out,
35:45
I've translated kind of what I've learned into how I am as a
35:48
leader, especially now, is that you're right, it was so easy,
35:53
especially when I was a young E5 Sergeant or a young corporal E4,
35:58
somebody messed up. It was so easy just to lay into
36:01
them, light them up like it was their fault only, like they did
36:04
something wrong, you know, and they need to figure out how to
36:07
fix it. And what I learned really
36:09
quickly is sure, you got to make sure that they have
36:12
accountability for themselves too, especially if they did mess
36:15
up. If they made a mistake, 100%
36:17
they should own that mistake. But you should also take turn
36:21
around and say, OK, well, what can I do for you or what could
36:23
have I done for you to make sure that this doesn't happen in the
36:26
future, right? Because leadership is not a one
36:29
way St. you just you have to be able to give them something.
36:32
They don't just work for you. You work for them too as a
36:34
leader, right? Like you're there to make them
36:36
successful, not just them making the business successful, right?
36:40
Correct. Yeah.
36:42
Yeah. Well, and you brought up a very
36:43
good point there, that accountability.
36:45
I did not bring that up. Of course, when you are, I mean,
36:50
you can Giaco wrote a book about this.
36:52
I mean, all kinds of people are written books about military
36:55
veterans specifically about how ownership can change your entire
36:59
interaction with everybody that you surround in your personal
37:02
and business life. But you know, when you don't put
37:05
the accountability on somebody else, if they had a part in it,
37:08
then honestly, they don't get an opportunity to learn either.
37:12
So it's important to bring that up because there's a difference
37:16
between holding somebody accountable and blaming them for
37:21
doing something stupid. And if you're just throwing
37:23
blame around all the time, honestly, you're just going to
37:26
look like the biggest jerk in the whole world that doesn't
37:29
really care about how things get done.
37:31
You just want to beat people up for making mistakes, and there's
37:34
no growth in that. No, you're absolutely.
37:36
Right. And, and one thing I've seen so
37:40
many times, and this is examples of bad leadership, is that if
37:44
somebody down in the team made a mistake or something went wrong
37:48
because of maybe they configured something wrong or they did
37:51
something and it wasn't, maybe it wasn't like a catastrophe or
37:54
anything like that. But I've seen where leaders
37:59
point to that person when they get questioned about the
38:01
mistake, right? What you should be doing.
38:05
And this is what I learned a lot too over time and as I grew as a
38:08
leader, is that as the, as the leader, I am the owner of that.
38:13
Let's say I'm a, I'm a department lead, right?
38:15
I own everything that happens or does not happen in that
38:18
department as that leader. If my boss was, say, if I work
38:23
for the CEO, because that's where that department falls
38:26
under directly. If something goes wrong in my
38:30
department, it's not the team's fault.
38:32
It's my fault as the leader that something went wrong.
38:35
But also the, the flip side of that coin is if things are going
38:38
right, it's not my, it's not, I'm not the reason things are
38:40
going right. It's the team's reason they're
38:41
going right, right. That gets overlooked way too
38:44
much. And in in military service
38:47
leadership and also in like civilian leadership, those
38:50
things get like think really kind of glossed over way too
38:53
much. What are what are your thoughts
38:54
on that? Well, there's a missing
38:57
component there, you know it. There's another way to gain a
39:00
little bit of clout with with your leadership if they were to
39:04
come to you in a situation like that.
39:06
You know, keep in mind a lot of people will actually say it was
39:11
Joe Snuffy who made a mistake and we have to fix it.
39:16
So he's given the team accountability.
39:18
He's blaming the person that did it and not taking any ownership
39:22
of it himself. And so there's a way to do that
39:26
the right way. If somebody were to address, you
39:28
know, a problem that happened in your section.
39:31
And it's honestly just to say, you know what, we made a
39:36
mistake. We've already had conversations
39:38
on how to fix it. If you want to back brief on
39:40
what we're going to do differently next time, I'd be
39:42
happy to provide that to you. We're working through it right
39:45
now. I'll get back to you on that.
39:47
And you know, honestly what that does is it you do not want your
39:52
boss or any of the senior management team or directors or
39:56
anything like you don't want anybody talking to a member of
40:00
your team. Absolutely not.
40:02
I mean, not only does it destroy the productivity level that's
40:05
supposed to be going on in your in on your team, but it what is
40:10
your team going to think of you if you pass the buck down and
40:14
they have to have the conversation rather than you
40:17
take the opportunity to help that person fix the problem and
40:21
you're doing the wrong thing? 100% you take accountability of
40:25
it. Let them know that it was your
40:27
team. You don't necessarily have to
40:29
say it was you because obviously you personally didn't make the
40:32
mistake. It was, it was my team that that
40:35
that made that mistake. We're working on a plan to fix
40:38
it and, and I'll let you know how it goes once, once we start
40:43
making progress with that. And that way you're, you're
40:45
taking the ownership, you're letting them know that you're
40:48
working on making it better. And if they really do want to
40:51
back brief, which most of the time they say they might, but
40:54
then when you come to them with it, they're like, Oh, I, I know
40:56
you got it. But just just make sure that
41:00
you're not name dropping and calling people out that don't
41:05
deserve to be called out. Because that's going to destroy
41:07
your credibility as that team's leader.
41:10
Because your job is to make your team a run efficiently.
41:14
And your role as a manager or director is to make sure that
41:20
that professional development happens and that that person is
41:23
held accountable. And if you're letting other
41:25
people in that circle and they're holding that person
41:27
accountable, then you're not doing your job.
41:31
And by the way, if you want to be considered a leader in a
41:34
leadership position, you need to be leading the person that's
41:38
calling you out and on your team and your on the people on your
41:41
team. And you need to be leading that
41:43
person that made the mistake. Yeah, no, absolutely.
41:46
And I think you bring up a good point there too, is like leading
41:48
the person that called it out from your leadership, right?
41:52
Like leadership isn't just a down and in purpose.
41:56
Like it's not, that's not, that's not just a down and in
41:59
focus. Like you can lead up and
42:01
laterally, like you can lead your peers, you can lead the
42:03
ones that you report to as well as leading the ones that report
42:06
directly to you, right? And I think that's an important
42:09
thing too, is because a lot of folks don't, I don't think, at
42:12
least again, from my experiences outside of the military, I've
42:17
noticed that a lot of people in leadership positions don't like
42:20
to have those types of tough conversations with even their
42:24
peers sometimes, but definitely not with their direct report,
42:29
right? They don't want to have
42:30
confrontation or whatever you want to call it.
42:33
But there is absolutely a, a, a, a a necessity to lead up and
42:38
have those tough conversations like, hey, look, boss, like I
42:42
feel like you're micromanaging a little too much.
42:44
I got this. Have I done something wrong to
42:47
make you feel otherwise right? Having those types of
42:49
conversations can go a very long way.
42:52
Yeah, well, you got to keep in mind that that our boss, our
42:57
boss's boss, our peers, they all have a lot of pressure put on
43:01
them all the time. So of course there are going to
43:03
be times where they come down to you, talking to you any sort of
43:06
way which you you don't want. And but on top of that, you let
43:11
them get it off their chest and then you pull them off to the
43:15
side where nobody else can hear you and say what is really going
43:18
on because this is not how we do things here.
43:21
And this is not normal. So, you know, I'm glad you got
43:24
that off your chest. But I need to know this isn't
43:27
going to happen again. So how are we going?
43:28
How are we going to fix this together?
43:30
Because I think working for you is great, but it's not when you
43:33
do stuff like this. Yeah, no, absolutely.
43:36
And and that's, again, that's that's part of the leading up,
43:39
right? Is like you having those honest
43:41
conversations. Yeah, you know.
43:42
Difficult conversations are called difficult for a reason.
43:45
Oh, absolutely, yeah. Definitely the whole time you're
43:48
doing it, your your chest is warm, your face is red and you
43:52
hate every minute of it. But you got to do it, because if
43:55
you don't, you know the bad thing is going to keep on
43:57
happening. No, it absolutely.
43:59
It absolutely will. And then we have this question
44:04
here and I think this actually really goes good into the next
44:07
piece on lessons learned. Like the hard way is what's
44:10
helped helped you JJ overcome some self doubt along your
44:14
growth and into what you become today.
44:19
Gosh, they beat this into US in the military.
44:22
They really, really did. You got to be confident in you.
44:28
If if you are not confident in you and what you can do, then
44:32
you are never going to accomplish anything of any major
44:36
significance. You'll just be a puppet in
44:39
somebody else's play all the time and you're just going to be
44:42
quiet because your voice isn't going to be heard.
44:44
And when it comes to self doubt, I still have it.
44:49
But what's stronger than myself doubt is my belief in myself.
44:56
And you know, if I make a mistake, that's OK.
45:01
But once I realize that I make a mistake, what am I going to do
45:04
to course correct that mistake? Because every mistake can be
45:08
course corrected. And if not, then you just kind
45:10
of got to embrace the suck and take the bullet, you know what I
45:12
mean? But you know, we, we make
45:17
mistakes in life. That's what we do.
45:20
Do I doubt myself? Yes.
45:23
Does that doubt matter? Sure.
45:25
Because it teaches me what I feel my limitations are.
45:28
And I just got to cross those limitations because they don't
45:30
matter. And you know, at the end of the
45:33
day, if you don't test those limitations, then you're not
45:35
growing as a person. You're you're going to be slowly
45:39
dying as a person because nobody wants to be that person who just
45:43
lets everything happen around them into them.
45:46
And I, I, I spent almost two years doing that.
45:50
I retired from the military. What a horrible way to live.
45:53
I will never do that again. And if anybody's going through
45:56
that, you know, that's watching this now or later or whatever, I
46:01
mean, just just know that if you can, if you can find it in
46:06
yourself, just to believe in you and push past your internal
46:09
objections. What's the worst that's going to
46:12
happen? It doesn't work out.
46:16
And if it doesn't work out, are you really any worse off than
46:19
you were before? Probably not, right?
46:22
So, I mean, consider that you'd never know if something's gonna
46:26
work out until you try. And if you try and it doesn't
46:29
work out, then guess what? You learned something then too.
46:31
You learned that it didn't work out.
46:35
Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
46:36
And, and something that like something I always try to even
46:40
teach my kids is like, you'll never know unless you ask the
46:44
question or you give effort to it, because anything that you
46:48
don't put effort into or you don't ask the question about are
46:51
never going to be yes or never be successful, right?
46:55
That's just, this is life engine.
46:56
Like that's a life lesson that anybody can take is if you don't
47:00
put effort into it or you don't ask the question, the answer is
47:03
always going to be no. And they're never going to be
47:05
successful because you don't put the effort in.
47:07
Yeah, with my one-on-one clients that I have because I do
47:11
coaching these days I also do consulting, but coaching is one
47:14
of the things that I do and that's actually the most common
47:17
thing that I run into. It's it's so interesting that
47:20
that person, I can't remember who it was ask that question,
47:23
but OK, I'm not going to mess your name up out of out of
47:29
respect for you. But Devon, I don't anyway, I'm
47:32
not going to do that. But I will say that that if, if
47:38
you're going through a lot of self doubt now, guess what that
47:41
makes you normal. And if you are questioning
47:46
yourself and you're letting that hold you back, there's nothing
47:49
wrong with you that that's normal.
47:53
You know, I, I still hold myself back from some things.
47:57
John still holds himself back from some things.
47:59
You can't win every single war. You can't lean forward in every
48:03
single foxhole. I mean that no person is
48:06
perfect. We're that's not our design.
48:09
But you know, when things are really, truly important, that's
48:12
why you have priorities, because if it's a priority to you and it
48:16
needs to be done, don't wait till you're motivated.
48:19
Just do it. Have the discipline to push past
48:21
what what's bothering you about that thing and just do it,
48:24
especially if it's important. If it's not important and it's
48:27
not going to change the course of anything and it's just one
48:29
thing that's going to roll off your shoulders and you're not
48:31
going to think about it, then don't worry about it.
48:34
Don't let it keep you up at night.
48:36
It's silly. No, you're absolutely right.
48:39
And, and I think this really ties really good in into the
48:43
next piece is so everything that you've been through military
48:48
service wise growing through to your transition and, and what
48:54
is, can you talk about like building your coaching business
48:59
and your consulting business? And then what that really turned
49:02
into even. We'll talk a bit about your book
49:04
here in a minute, too. Well, I so I built that
49:08
leadership development program for my last company.
49:10
I'm like, my goodness, if it was that easy to do it here and I
49:13
can go do it anywhere. And so that's why I left my
49:15
company and started a business. I'm going to be completely
49:19
honest with you. Going into starting a business,
49:24
I knew nothing. Most people don't.
49:28
And you know, you can be really, really good at your job in
49:31
logistics or in IT or in whatever, or in or in
49:37
construction. But if you go start a business
49:40
in logistics, in IT, in leadership, in construction,
49:46
guess what? You still don't know.
49:48
You know nothing about marketing, you know nothing
49:51
about sales. You know nothing about trying to
49:55
structure what you want to do to help somebody else as an offer
49:59
so that you can sell it, package it and receive money for it.
50:04
You don't know how to keep track of those customers.
50:06
Maybe you can follow a spreadsheet, but that only gets
50:08
you so far. And yeah, it, it's, there's a
50:14
lot to learn. So I could have quit almost
50:18
immediately. Building that business meant I
50:21
had to start attending. Oh gosh, I was the worst person
50:25
in the whole world for anybody's webinar because I was literally
50:28
just showing up to learn. I went to, I went to every
50:32
webinar for marketing, every webinar for sales, every webinar
50:37
for how to manage my business, every webinar for social media
50:42
outreach, every webinar. I mean, if there was something
50:46
related to coaching or consulting and how to become
50:49
successful as a business, I went to it.
50:51
I think I spent eight months just learning because I realized
50:55
that every time I went into a room when I first started my
50:58
business, I didn't know what doggone thing at all.
51:03
I could talk great about somebody's problems that they're
51:06
having in a company if they brought it up, but how to get to
51:08
that conversation when they know that you're a private business
51:12
owner who is probably selling something?
51:15
Which by the way, them just walking up to me and talking to
51:17
me probably made them want to throw open their mouth a little
51:20
bit almost immediately right off the show.
51:23
And that's OK, I can acknowledge that.
51:25
But but, you know, just learning how to do all those things,
51:31
learning how to build relationships as a business
51:34
owner and turn that into a way to market and then actually get
51:38
people help. I told you earlier that, you
51:40
know, knowing that their companies will pay for this
51:42
stuff and that there's a budget set aside for these things.
51:45
Didn't know that until, you know, probably 6 months into it.
51:48
And you know, how did I take everything that I've learned
51:52
and, and turn it into a business now?
51:55
Well, I just had an an unrelenting drive to figure it
52:01
the heck out and I still don't know probably half of what I
52:06
need to know, but I'm doing enough to more than get me by
52:11
and and I'm helping people and I love doing it.
52:15
And plus I get to do this podcast thing where that's a new
52:18
thing too. Don't think you can just go out
52:20
and start a podcast and you're going to be successful with
52:22
right off the jump. It's the same as growing a
52:24
business. It just doesn't pay you for a
52:25
very, very, very long time. Yeah, if it all.
52:30
But you know, it's just one of those things where if you want
52:33
to do something, you'll find a way.
52:37
And that's what my business journey has been.
52:39
And I, I can't be somebody who teaches leadership if I'm just
52:43
going to start something and quit on it almost immediately.
52:46
I wouldn't expect that of my clients if they hired me to do
52:49
something and I wouldn't allow it, to be quite honest with you,
52:52
I would probably recommend that they no longer be my client
52:55
because that's not the way I operate.
52:57
If you're, if you're hiring me, it's because you don't want to
52:59
quit. You, you, you have a problem
53:01
that needs to be solved and you want somebody who's going to
53:03
take it seriously. And that's how I operate in my
53:07
business. And I, I honestly operate in
53:10
life that way now. I do, I mean, those two years
53:13
after the military, I really didn't know which way was up.
53:16
But now I, I'm right back to where I was.
53:19
Maybe not physically. I wouldn't say if you hold up a
53:22
picture of me now and a picture of me when I was on active duty
53:26
that I would look the same. Maybe soon I'm working at it,
53:30
but you know, I would, I will say that the drive, the note,
53:34
the, the problem solving abilities and my, my ability to
53:39
interact with other people, it's all still there and that and
53:42
really that at the end of it all, if you can problem solve,
53:46
communicate with other people and just do the things that need
53:48
to be done, whether you want to do them or not, anybody can
53:50
start a business. Yeah, quick one from Jason on
53:56
YouTube. I want to know if JJ and John
53:58
are friends. I'm really curious.
54:00
I would say yes, we are. We haven't known each other that
54:03
long though. If you look at like the grand
54:05
scheme of things, we've only what it's been 5-6 months
54:09
probably tops maybe since we first got introduced to each
54:11
other. Yeah, if we were closer, I would
54:14
hang out with John. Hands down with definitely
54:17
would. But I mean, do we have the
54:20
ability to do that? No.
54:21
But once in a while we check in with each other.
54:23
He there are there's not a whole week that goes by that I don't
54:28
see a real pop up from John. I'm just going to be honest.
54:30
With you. So yes, we, we, we do.
54:33
We, we do interact with each other, I'll say that.
54:35
And we and I do consider him a friend if he called on me
54:38
because he needed help with something 110% and not just
54:42
because of our professional interactions with each other,
54:45
it's because I care about them. So yes.
54:48
Yeah, no, absolutely same thing. And I know if I needed something
54:51
or needed somebody to talk to, all I got to do is either
54:53
message or call JJ. He would pick it up.
54:55
We would talk for hours if we had to.
54:57
And then vice versa, if there was anything he needed, he knows
55:00
he can call me. Same way, man.
55:01
And that's, and that's part of the, the like the community that
55:03
we've that that we've kind of become a part of as podcasters,
55:07
right? Because that's, that's How I Met
55:08
you was in podcasting networks like on Facebook and stuff and
55:11
making posts to try to get guests and had you on my show.
55:14
Then I went on and it was a guest on your show as well.
55:18
But yeah, man. So yeah, Jason, we, we are, I
55:21
would say definitely we are. We are considered each others
55:23
friend for sure. We haven't known each other that
55:25
long, even though it may seem like we have.
55:28
But it doesn't matter. And you know, when, when you get
55:31
out of the military and, and you served, especially as a Warrant
55:35
Officer that probably had similar duties and had to deal
55:39
with similar crap, we have those stories to share as well.
55:44
I, I, once you're out and you don't have that commonality with
55:47
too many people around you, once you meet somebody that shares
55:50
those same values, shares those shares those same experiences,
55:54
you're more likely to bond with them pretty quickly just because
55:58
you need it. And most people don't understand
56:02
the crap that you went through before.
56:03
And so that that that level of commonality is it's more
56:09
important than a lot of people understand.
56:12
No, I'll, I'll definitely in a in a sense double click on that
56:17
one. JJ is like, you're absolutely
56:19
right. Yep, like you're absolutely
56:21
right. And there's so many of us.
56:22
Even I did this like after I got out again, like I had my podcast
56:27
when I first started before I got out.
56:29
And so like I was still doing my podcast even as I transition out
56:33
of the Marine Corps, but I, that was my only veteran interaction.
56:37
I didn't try to reach out anybody locally or make new
56:41
veteran friends locally to me. And like I really isolated and
56:44
kind of, and I really didn't even promote And I wouldn't, I
56:47
wasn't like the proud veteran, right?
56:49
Like unless somebody asked me, they would have never even known
56:53
that I was a veteran, probably just because that's just not who
56:56
I wanted to be back then. And that and we've talked about
57:01
it on my show. And your show is like that took
57:03
me down a a darker Rd. than I should have been on and and
57:08
created me to put like a pause on my show for quite some time,
57:11
three years even I took a break from my show for three years.
57:16
And that was one of the things I learned is you, you have to
57:22
create that network, right, Because again, it's that's part
57:27
of growing and even finding your purpose, getting back into the
57:30
veteran network and getting getting more into my podcast in
57:34
Roman and really honing and focusing on what I wanted my
57:36
podcast to really be about, you know, is that open me up to a
57:41
whole bunch of things. Like I'm I've now branched over
57:43
a couple different directions, but I also am a lot more what I
57:47
would consider a proud veteran. I'm I'm because I didn't want
57:51
to. It's not that I was ashamed to
57:52
be a veteran, right? It was more along the lines that
57:55
like, I didn't want to be that guy that was seemed to be
58:00
standoffish because he was so proud to be a veteran.
58:03
So I just completely turned it off right?
58:05
If that makes sense. It does, and being a veteran is
58:10
probably our biggest strength because of the experiences that
58:13
we went through, and we shouldn't shut it off just
58:15
because we're afraid of how other people are going to
58:17
interact with that idea. Yeah, no, absolutely, Paul.
58:23
Paul says that he wants to see me as a guest on JJ show.
58:29
So you definitely can. I was a guest, what, a few
58:31
months ago. So if you go back and look at
58:34
some of J JS older content on his YouTube channel, you'll
58:36
actually see my episode on there.
58:38
I was on his show. What is it like in April maybe,
58:42
maybe March, March, April time frame?
58:43
I believe something like that. Something like that.
58:45
I'd have to dig back and look, but I know you were there.
58:47
But John, if you want to come back on my show, buddy, I'm OK
58:51
with that. Yeah, no, absolutely.
58:54
Let's actually set that up. That's actually a pretty good
58:55
idea because I've came a long way since the last time when I
58:58
when I was on your show last. You're a lot more.
59:02
You're a lot brighter and your personality is shining a lot
59:07
more on screen than it used to be that there's just something
59:09
that happens once you do it more often.
59:11
It it absolutely does. So yeah, I would definitely
59:13
let's let's actually get that scheduled out.
59:14
Let's go. Let's do that.
59:17
But before we run out of time, I want to, I want you to say real
59:19
quick, where can people find all of your content?
59:21
Where can they look your business up and how can they get
59:24
in contact you and how can they get your book?
59:26
OK, so JJ Hardy, if you Google that and you get past that
59:31
baseball player because I'm not him, you'll find me.
59:36
In addition to that, if you go to
59:37
victoryleadershipcoaching.com, back slash links.
59:42
That's the that's the easiest way without having to read my
59:44
whole website. You can find all my socials and
59:48
all the links to my books. Everything is on there.
59:52
Awesome, dude. I'm going to have to like, I
59:55
feel like I'm going to have you come back on again and we're
59:56
just going to talk only about your book next time.
59:58
I think in your podcast. So we didn't really get to talk
1:00:01
about it as much as I really wanted to this time, but I think
1:00:04
we had a we had really good conversation, had a lot of good
1:00:06
engagement from the from the listeners too.
1:00:08
So like I always want to make sure that I get if they, if
1:00:10
they're engaging, I definitely want to make sure.
1:00:13
To respond back to what they're doing.
1:00:14
So no, it's been good. We had to schedule a Part 2 for
1:00:17
JJ in the future to talk more about his actual book, his
1:00:21
business, more in depth in his podcast and stuff.
1:00:23
So. Let's go, Chief.
1:00:25
Yeah, let's do it, man. All right.
1:00:29
Hey, JJ, I'm gonna go ahead and put you backstage real quick,
1:00:31
and then I'm gonna go ahead and close out and then we'll wrap
1:00:33
this up 'cause we're right at about time.
1:00:35
Thanks, John. Yeah, thank you, man.
1:00:37
Oh, come on, go back. There we go.
1:00:42
Hey again, thank you everybody out there for watching live
1:00:44
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1:00:47
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1:00:52
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1:00:58
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1:01:09
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1:01:12
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1:01:13
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1:01:16
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