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Freedom From the Shame of Needing External Approval and Validation · The Hypnotist

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  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, Demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Adam Smith in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's Adam here. Now, I'm pretty sure that you
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  like the approval. Of other people.
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  You like to be validated. You'd like compliments, You like
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  to be known for being good at what you do, and who doesn't?
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  But here's the key thing. Do you need it?
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  Do you really need it? And there is a big difference
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  between liking a compliment and needing a compliment of liking
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  validation and craving and needing validation.
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  They're big differences. And the.
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  Client I was working with in this particular session you're
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  about to hear, they had reached the point where they felt
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  ashamed that they really needed it and they craved it and they
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  had to have it. And this is designed to get them
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  to a very different place where they can like it and appreciate
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  it but not need it. And there's something very
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  liberating and empowering of not needing to be liked, but liking
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  to be like not needing the approval of other people, but
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  quite liking when you do get the approval of other people.
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  It's a game changer. So if the if you can connect and
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  resonate with any of these things I'm talking about here,
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  you might get some real value from this session.
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  Now, it was created for an individual, some of the things
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  are going to be very relevant for them and not quite relevant
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  for you. So if you like the idea of
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  working with me, I would encourage you to look in the
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  description. And there what you'll be able to
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  do is to take a suitability tests or watch a quick webinar
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  where I explain all the elements of what it would be like to work
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  with me. And that webinar is completely
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  free, so check them out. They're in the description of
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  this episode. For now, though, find a quiet,
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  comfortable place where you won't be distracted or
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  disturbed. Relax.
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  And enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
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  you breathe in, breathe in a wonderful feeling of calm
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  relaxation. And as you exhale, allow
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  yourself to release not just tension, but any feeling of
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  expectation pressure. Just allow it to leave your body
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  as you breathe out. And when you breathe in, breathe
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  in deeper than you normally would.
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  But imagine breathing in a bright colour that represents
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  worthiness. Pure, distilled worthiness.
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  Maybe it's a bright colour, like the colour of the sun, or maybe
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  a different colour, but bright and vibrant.
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  And as you imagine breathing in that distilled worthiness, it
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  starts to melt away Unworthiness.
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  Some people have stories. Stories as to why they're not
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  valuable enough, good enough, important enough, educated
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  enough. And as you breathe in bright,
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  distilled worthiness, imagine it melts those stories away.
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  And just imagine what's left of those melted stories starts to
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  leave your body in your outward breath and make that outward
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  breath longer, a long exhale and those feelings of unworthiness
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  leave your body in your outward breath.
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  Some people believe that the body keeps the score, that
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  moments of deceit or shame are kept inside the body, and I want
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  you to scan your body for any clues as to where that shame or
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  unworthiness is hiding. Sometimes it's in the chest or
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  the gut, sometimes in the head or the heart, and maybe you can
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  notice where it is, or just allow your unconscious to find
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  it for you. But as you breathe in that
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  distilled worthiness, imagine releasing echoes of shame, of
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  sadness, of inferiority, and again, allow it to leave your
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  body in those long outward breaths.
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  And then it means that the deeper you breathe, the more
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  worthy you feel. And the longer you exhale, the
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  more you get to release echoes of the past.
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  You are not your past. You are not your childhood.
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  You are you. And as you release the shame,
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  the criticism of the past, perhaps it feels like you're
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  getting lighter. And sometimes you might detect a
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  twitch or a sensation, a movement in your body.
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  And that might be because that's where that shame or unworthiness
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  is hiding somatically in your body.
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  So as you release it, you can feel lighter, less rigid, more
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  released. The deeper you breathe, the more
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  relaxed and aligned you feel. And the more relaxed you feel,
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  the deeper you breathe, breathing in more of that
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  distilled worthiness. As your body relaxes, your
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  imagination awakens. And I want you to think of a
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  moment in your past that you did feel worthy.
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  You did feel enough flow back to that memory and see that version
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  of you. Imagine observing that worthy
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  version of you and notice that you didn't need to be any more
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  educated. You didn't need to be slimmer.
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  You didn't need to be anything more than you already was.
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  You were enough, exactly as you were.
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  And when you're back at that memory, observing that worthy
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  version of you, let me know by nodding your head.
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  That's it. Just find that worthy version of
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  you. And then, as I countdown from 5
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  to 1, imagine stepping into a time when you've never felt so
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  worthy. You've never felt as enough as
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  you did in that moment. 5. Getting closer, 4.
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  Observing your facial expressions and posture and
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  three, touching that version of you, and then two, walking
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  inside that version of you and one embodying that version of
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  you. Feel what it would feel like to
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  be worthy enough, sufficient, accepted.
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  Notice how you breathe when you're worthy.
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  Notice there is no desire to embellish, exaggerate, or
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  fabricate when you feel enough. You don't need the validation,
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  approval, or attention of other people when you already feel
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  worthy and enough. But let's change a pattern
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  that's been harming you, eroding your confidence and self esteem.
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  I want you to think of a memory in your past where you lied, you
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  fabricated, perhaps to get the approval, validation or
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  influence of someone else. But to begin with, go back to
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  that memory and just observe what happened.
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  Not changing it, just observing it.
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  What did you say and how did you say it?
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  And just observe that version of you in your past telling that
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  lie. And when you've seen what
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  actually happened, let me know by nodding your head.
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  Observe it like you're someone invisible in the room, just
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  watching you, not in your body just seeing it.
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  And then rewind it. Rewind it, step into that
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  version of you, and then imagine saying the same thing.
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  Not different, exactly the same. I can imagine the moment that
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  that lie, that fabrication leaves your lips.
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  I want you to feel a sense of responsibility tied to a
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  decision and you standard that you will hold yourself to.
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  A standard that you will never lie, you will never fabricate to
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  enhance the perception that others have for you.
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  But that standard is only a standard when you take
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  accountability. When you break that standard.
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  So imagine saying whatever you said back then, and then
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  publicly apologize for it. Imagine the words leaving your
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  lips. That wasn't true.
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  I made that up. I don't know why I said that,
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  but it wasn't true. Just allow yourself temporarily
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  to feel that awkwardness, embarrassment, accountability
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  and responsibility. It's how you hold yourself to
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  that higher standard. You will only share stories that
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  are truthful and authentic without exaggeration or
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  embellishment, and only if you choose to.
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  You don't need to, and therefore if you do lie or fabricate, you
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  will apologize fully and completely in doing so teaching
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  that part within you. There is no benefit to using
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  deceit to generate false validation and approval.
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  Rewind that moment one more time and imagine saying something
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  that is true, honest and authentic.
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  Not to impress, but just to connect.
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  Doesn't have to be something special or impressive.
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  Just a moment, an experience. Just sharing what happened in
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  your life. And if your unconscious is
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  willing to hold yourself to that higher standard, imagine what
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  your future will look like. Your unconscious will quickly
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  believe that you don't need to lie to impress other people,
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  because you're already enough as you are.
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  If you want to become better, more knowledgeable, more
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  accomplished, it's not to impress other people.
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  It's because growth feels good. Accomplishment feels good.
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  Allow yourself to set the intention of doing something
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  impressive and not telling anyone about it.
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  And that would mean you get to hold on to the pride rather than
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  lie to hold on to shame. You are not your mother.
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  You are not your past. The way to break a generational
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  pattern or curse is to hold yourself to a higher standard
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  and stick to that standard. And as you hold yourself to that
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  higher standard, imagine days turning into weeks turning into
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  months. Imagine confidence and self
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  esteem growing. Imagine seeing yourself happier
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  and less stressed. I imagine that as confidence
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  grows, you treat yourself better, being more active and
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  eating better quality food and less of it.
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  When people really love, respect and take pride in themselves,
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  the quality of their food is proportionate to how much they
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  value who they are. To imagine that as weeks turn to
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  months, your body shape changes because you like yourself more.
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  And see how that would change in your workplace over the next few
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  months. More confidence, more self
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  acceptance. You're feeling comfortable in
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  your own skin, no need to fabricate or embellish.
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  You share what's real, what's authentic, with no agenda to
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  impress. The less you impress, the more
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  you carry. All of those qualities within
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  you are enough and you don't need to be seen.
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  The only person that needs to acknowledge your progress is
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  you. Just imagine floating back to
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  your present, taking these changes with you.
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  A wonderful feeling that you are willing to hold yourself to a
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  higher standard. And each time you listen to
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  this, you will think of a different memory where you've
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  lied. You will feel the shame or
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  embarrassment of apologizing for it, and you will make a
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  resolution, a promise with yourself to hold yourself to
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  that higher standard. Never lying, never trying to
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  impress others with things that aren't true, and only sharing
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  real stories with real people that are real, authentic and
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  genuine. And choosing to be humble and
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  having humility if you decide to do it.
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  Floating back to the present, Take a deep breath in through
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  your nose and out through your nose.
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  Wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
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  Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I now count
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  from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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  Starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8.
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  Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910 wide awake.
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  Wide awake. Wide awake.
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  Thank you. So much for.
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  Joining me on today's episode of The Hypnotist if you've enjoyed
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  this episode or got some value from it.
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  Please give it a. Five star rating and review and
• 20:53
  maybe you know someone that would also benefit from this
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  particular episode, in which case share the episode with them
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  so they can also get the benefit too.
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  And if you would like to listen to this episode where it's just
• 21:07
  the hypnosis, so no. Intro No outro.
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• 21:17
  You can subscribe at a very low cost and only get access to the
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  hypnosis O if that's of interest.
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  Please check that out. Thank you again.
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  For being a regular listener of the hypnotist.
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  And I'll see you again soon for more.