Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 51 - Why Doing Life Alone Is Quietly Breaking You

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EP 51 - Why Doing Life Alone Is Quietly Breaking You · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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  Isolation doesn't usually feel dangerous at first.
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  In fact, it often feels necessary.
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  It feels like space, like breathing room, like protection.
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  After a hard conversation. You pull back.
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  After being misunderstood, you keep things to yourself.
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  After getting hurt, you decide it's just easier to deal with
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  things on your own. And if you're being honest,
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  there's a part of you that likes it.
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  No expectations, no awkward conversations, no risks of being
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  misunderstood. Again, just you managing life on
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  your terms. But here's the problem.
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  What starts as protection slowly becomes a prison.
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  Because isolation doesn't just keep the pain out, it keeps the
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  healing out too. And the longer you stay there,
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  the harder it becomes to see clearly, think clearly, and live
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  freely. Today, we're going to talk about
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  the cost of isolation. Welcome to Unmasked, where we
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  take off the filters and we get real about faith, failure, and
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  finding freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
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  Farnsworth, and this is episode 2 of our miniseries Breaking
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  Free. In the last episode, we talked
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  about the lie of self-reliance, the belief that you should be
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  able to handle life on your own. And today we're taking the next
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  step because self-reliance doesn't stay neutral, it leads
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  somewhere. It leads to isolation.
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  Isolation carries a cost that most people don't fully
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  understand until they've been living in it for a while.
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  So today we're going to talk about what isolation actually
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  does to us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and
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  why stepping out of it is one of the most important moves that
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  you can make towards freedom. So take a breath, pull up a
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  chair, and let's get real. This is unmasked.
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  You see isolation. It doesn't normally start loud.
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  In fact, it rarely begins with a big decision.
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  You don't wake up one day and say, I'm going to disconnect
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  from everyone. It starts small.
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  You stop sharing something that's bothering you.
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  You keep a conversation surface level.
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  Instead of going deeper, you tell yourself, I'll deal with it
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  later. And in the moment, those choices
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  don't feel significant. In fact, they may feel
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  practical. They may feel like that you're
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  just managing your life. But over time, those small
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  decisions compound. You start opening up less.
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  You start trusting less. You start letting fewer people
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  into what's really going on. Before long, you're living a
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  life where most people know you, but very few people actually
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  know what's happening inside of you.
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  And that is isolation. Not necessarily being alone, but
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  being unknown. See, there's a difference
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  between solitude and isolation. So let's be clear about
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  something here. Solitude is not the same as
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  isolation. Solitude is healthy.
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  Solitude is intentional. It's a time alone with God.
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  Time to think, time to rest, time to reset.
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  Jesus practiced solitude. He could step away from crowds,
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  from ministry, from pressure, and spend time alone in prayer.
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  Solitude strengthens you. Isolation, however, it does the
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  opposite. It weakens you because isolation
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  is not chosen for growth, it's chosen for protection.
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  Isolation says that I would rather deal with this alone than
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  risk letting someone in. And the problem with that
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  mindset is that it slowly disconnects you from the truth.
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  Because when you're isolated, your perspective becomes limited
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  to your own thoughts, and your thoughts are not always the most
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  reliable. In fact, one of the most
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  dangerous effects of isolation is how it changes the way that
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  you think. See, when you're isolated, your
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  struggles feel a lot bigger. Your fears feel more convincing.
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  Your assumptions go unchallenged, your narrative in
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  your head, it starts to take over.
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  You begin to believe things like no one would understand this
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  isn't that big of a deal, I should be able to handle this.
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  I'll deal with it eventually. And because there's no one
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  speaking into your life consistently, those thoughts go
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  unchecked. Isolation removes perspective,
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  and without perspective, small issues grow into big problems.
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  Things that could have been addressed early become patterns,
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  patterns become habits, habits become strongholds.
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  And all of it is happening quietly in the background.
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  No announcement, no warning, just a slow drift.
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  See, isolation doesn't just affect your thinking, it also
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  affects your emotional health. Because when you carry
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  everything alone, there's no release, there's no place to
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  process, there's no place to be fully honest.
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  And so the weight builds, stress builds, frustration builds, and
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  eventually it shows up. Sometimes it shows up as
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  irritability. You find yourself snapping at
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  people over small things. Have you ever done that?
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  I know I have. Sometimes it shows up as
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  numbness. You stop feeling the way that
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  you used to. Sometimes it shows up as
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  anxiety. Your mind won't slow down and
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  you can't turn things off. And sometimes it shows up as
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  exhaustion, not because you're doing, not because you're doing
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  too much physically, but because you're carrying too much
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  emotionally. And the hard part is when you're
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  isolated, you don't always recognize what's causing it.
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  You just know that something feels off.
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  But there's another area of cost that isolation brings.
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  It also costs and affects your spiritual life, because when you
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  disconnect from people, you often begin to disconnect from
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  God as well, in subtle ways. Not necessarily completely, but
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  gradually your prayers become less honest.
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  You stop bringing the full weight of what you're dealing
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  with. You keep things surface level.
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  And over time, your relationship with God starts to feel distant.
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  Not because he moved, but because isolation has trained
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  you to hold on to things, to hold them in.
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  And holding things in is the opposite of surrender.
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  First, Peter 58 says to be alert because the enemy prowls like a
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  roaring lion. And here's what predators do
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  They isolate. They look for the one that's
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  separated from the group because isolation makes you vulnerable.
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  When you're isolated, you're easier to deceive, you're easier
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  to discourage, you're easier to overwhelm.
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  And that's why isolation is so, so dangerous.
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  It doesn't just affect your circumstances, it affects your
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  ability to see clearly. So if isolation is so harmful,
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  why do we stay there? Well, we stay there because it
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  feels safe. It feels controlled, it feels
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  predictable. In isolation, you don't have to
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  explain yourself, You don't have to risk being misunderstood.
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  You don't have to deal with uncomfortable conversations.
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  You don't have to let anyone see your struggles, and in the short
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  term that's easier, but with what feels easy now often cost
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  you later, because the longer you stay isolated, the harder it
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  becomes to step out. The walls get thicker, the
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  habits get stronger, the fears get louder, and eventually the
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  isolation it starts to feel normal.
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  At some point, though, we all hit a turning point.
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  We had a moment where isolation stops working for us.
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  It might come through a conversation or through burnout.
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  It might come through a realization that you're tired of
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  carrying everything alone. But something shifts, and you
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  begin to see things differently. You realize that what felt like
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  protection has actually been holding you back.
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  That moment is important because it creates an opportunity.
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  An opportunity to step out. Not dramatically, not all at
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  once, but intentionally. Breaking out of isolation does
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  not require a huge move. In fact, it starts small.
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  It starts with honesty. It might look like telling
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  somebody that I've been struggling.
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  It might look like answering honestly when someone says how
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  are you doing. It might look like joining a
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  group even when it feels uncomfortable.
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  The goal isn't to tell everyone everything, it's to stop
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  carrying everything alone, because the moment that you
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  bring something into the light, it loses power.
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  James 516 says to confess your struggles to one another and
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  pray for each other so that you may be healed.
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  Healing does not happen in isolation, it happens in
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  connection. So let me ask you something.
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  Where have you been isolating? Where have you been carrying on
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  your own? What have you been carrying on
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  your own? What conversations have you been
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  avoiding? And what would it look like to
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  take that one step out of isolation this week?
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  Not a big step, just one. Because freedom doesn't begin
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  with a crowd, It begins with connection.
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  Next time on Unmasked, we're going to talk about the power of
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  brotherhood. Because stepping out of
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  isolation is one thing, building the right relationships is
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  another. We're going to talk about what
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  real community actually looks like and why the right people in
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  your life can change everything. If this episode resignated with
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  you, would you take a moment and share it with somebody that came
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  to mind while you were listening?
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  And remember, this isolation may feel safe, but it will never
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  leave to freedom. Freedom is found in connection,
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  and it begins the moment that you stop walking alone and you
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  choose to live unmasked. God bless you.