Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / Real Doctor Special with Dr. Jonathan Fader

Transcript

Real Doctor Special with Dr. Jonathan Fader · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Here's some stories about shore. We made about a bunch
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: of doctor nurses. Stories. Yato around here, are Yato around here.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I gotta tell y'all, I got this song in my
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: head and you're gonna love it. It's an old standard, Joel.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I know you're gonna feel it. I can't. I'm ready,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: ready or not? Here I come? You can't hide, Gonna
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: find you and take it slowly, yes, foojie's ready or not.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: It never goes out of style, Joel. I've been singing
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: it all morning. Whole album still hits. You know, when
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you got a song in your head, you wake Do
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: you guys wake up with a song in your head? Sometimes? Yeah?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Sometimes certainly have. I very often will wake up and
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I'll just be like, ready or not? Here I come.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: That's not always that song, but maybe I was dreaming
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: about it or something. But this morning I woke up.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: My dog licked my face, and I was just like,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: you can't hide. Gone up? He said, you're ready. You
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: can't run away from these tears I've got. Oh baby,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure the lyrics right hold on. I
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: looked him up because I did not want to mess up. Ye,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I don't think you got one wrong yet. Wait wait, wait,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I looked it up because, for those of you don't know,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Lauren and I went to high school together. Lauren was
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: at my bar Mitzvah. Yes, Lauren, there's a bar mitzvah
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: game you called called coke and Pepsi, which is basically
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: just kids running around the dance floor, but you have
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: to have a partner, and Lauren was my coke and
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Pepsi partner at So just you know this, this runs deep.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I want to get that one part she sings, you
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: can't run away from these styles. I got, oh baby,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: hey baby, because I got a lot. Oh yeah, anywhere
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: you got that's too hot anywhere anyway, anywhere you go
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: my whole crew gun no, oh baby, hey baby. You
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: can't hide from the block. All right. Listen, Donald's not
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: here today, guys. So I had to do the loud singing.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So I'm done. That's set. The audience who hate singing.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: That section is now over singing. Oh no, no, I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: just don't know, you know, listen, people hate everything. So
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I once saw a video on YouTube. I once saw
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: this is I once saw a video on YouTube that
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: was to this day one of the sweetest things I've
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: ever seen in my life. It was a father playing guitar,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: singing with his probably four year old and they like
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: new harmonies and it was it brings a tear to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: my eye thinking of it. And there were like this
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: is back when they would show down votes. There were
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: like thousands of down votes, and I was like, if
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: that isn't the ultimate example, wow, I hate joy. That's
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: the interwebt But somebody was like, took the time to
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: be like this adorable father and toddler singing to themselves. Nope,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: thumbs down, not entertaining to me this. Wow. Um, well,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: let me explain the audience. What's happening. We're doing a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: special episode today. Um. Donald, don't worry, kids, Mommy and
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Daddy aren't getting divorced. We're not breaking up. Um our
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: our friend Donald is shooting his new show and he's
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: loving it and it's amazing and he's having the best
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: time and he's getting that work and so we're so
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: happy for him. Um. But I felt like, you know,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: we hadn't done a show. We did the Florence one,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: which was so well received, Thank you for all the
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: love on that one. But we were going to be
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: off this week, and I just said to Joel, and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Joel said to me, we were like, let's do something.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And so I came up with an idea kind of
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: inspired by Jonah Hill and his amazing doc stunts, which
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: you haven't seen is really good, um, where he brings
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: his therapist on and sort of talks you know, and
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: shares some of you know, what he's gotten from his
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: therapist and just sort of shared the information. His was
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: done in a very artful documentary way. But I thought
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: we are called fake doctor's real friends. I do have
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: a coach psychologist who has helped me with a lot
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: of my life and certainly is the reason I was
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: able to write this movie. And um, I just thought
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: we could have him on and all shoot the ship
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: and it could just be a conversation about mental health.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: It could be a conversation about anything anything we wanted
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: to be Joel and Daniel, I want you guys to
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: participate and steer it wherever you want. What do you think?
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: What do you think about that very here? Of course,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: did you hear the doc is in bringing the doc there?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: He is the whole team. Yes, So doctor Fader, meet
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Daniel Goodman and Joel, Monique l and Joel. Nice to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: meet you both. How's it going, Doctor Fanner, Happy to
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: welcome to the program. Um. So, as I was saying
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: to the audience, you know, we don't have Donald because
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: he's working, and I really wanted to thank you the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: audience from the bottom of my heart. The the audience
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: response to a good Person has been just monumental. I
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: think it currently has a ninety five percent audience rating
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: on Rotten Tomatoes, which is just pretty unheard of and rare.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: And I just you know, this audience, you guys who
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: are listening, guys and gals, have been with me the
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: whole journey. If you've been listening to this podcast. I
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: started writing this when we started this podcast, and so
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: you know, I really have a journal, in the sense
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: of an audio journal of my process. The whole time
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I was doing this podcast, I was writing this movie.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: So it feels so great to share it with you.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And and also I just thought I would go a
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: little bit. The idea behind this podcast, since we don't
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: have Donald and can't do an episode of Scrubs, was
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: to put out something and and talk a little bit
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: about the process of writing it. M and I thought,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: who better to have on than doctor Fader, because he
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have done this without him, and I so
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: much of the things that I'm accomplishing in my life
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have done without him. And I first met
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: him about seven years ago. I believe there's a very
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: successful person in my life who will obviously remain anonymous
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: who I was just killing it. And not only was
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: he killing it, but he always seemed happy. And I
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: And he was killing it in his career, he was
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: killing it in his relationships. He was happy, always happy.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And I said, bro, what is the secret? And he said, well,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: lots of things, lots of work, but also I really
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: recommend my coach, my my psychologist, doctor Jonathan Fader. And
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: so we started working together and and I don't know
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: what to say. I mean, I have plenty to say,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: but I just want to welcome you to the show. Dude. Hey,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: thanks man, and thanks for all those those kind of words.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You know, I genuinely feel that this is something that
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: we've done fully together. And I think your courage and
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the hard work that you put in, I mean, this
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: is hard work to change yourself and it's hard work
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: to get started, it's hard work in the middle, and
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: it's hard work all the way through. And you've worked
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: really hard. Well, I couldn't have done it without you
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and I and I I guess I want to just say,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: you know, will you explain just for you know, some
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: people on this podcast are familiar with different types of therapy,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: and some don't know anything about it. Some have it
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: in their lives, some it's been you know, it's looked
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: down upon in their families. You know, we have people
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: who listen from all over the world and from all
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: walks of life. So will you just generally explain to
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the layman what the difference is between a traditional psychologist
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: or traditional there I think of old school therapy, but
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: and what you call what you do, which is being
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: a cognitive behaviorist, because and I've been in therapy since
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I was a little kid and seen all sorts of
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: therapists because I had OCD as i've shared on here,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: and depression and anxiety. But I really feel like I
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: started to make some some and now all that's been helpful.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I don't mean to minimize any of it, but I
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: really feel like I started to make some some more
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: some larger shifts when I started working with you and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: your style of working. So can you explain that in
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: basic terms for people? Yeah, I mean I think that
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: most people have a misunderstanding about what therapy is to
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: begin with, and that you know, just because of you know,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: watching the Sopranos or watching the show, you begin to think, hey,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: this is really about not not the killing part, but
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: you know, you begin to think that this is about
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: only about the past. It's about understanding your past and
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: going really deep psychologically into who people are. And this
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: comes from like, you know, the history it's for it's
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: the beard, it's the pipe, it's lying on a couch.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: But that that way of doing things is that old
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: school way has really evolved over the years. And the
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: kind of therapy that that I do is based in
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: cognitive behavioral therapy, which really means two things. It means
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: we focus on the here and now, we focus on
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: changing behaviors and actively together in a collaborative way, changing thoughts.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: As we were saying before too, it's it's not just
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: a one person kind of thing where someone just talks.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: We talk together, and so it's much more like coaching
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: where you're jumping in. You're thinking together about which thoughts work.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: We tell ourselves these stories. You know, we're all from
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: from birth right as soon as we learn to talk,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: we tell ourselves stories about ourselves. And this work is
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: really about examining those stories, seeing which stories work and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: which don't, and then how in a partnership you begin
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: to change those stories so your life begins to resemble
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the story that you want. That's so well said, and
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: it jumps right into what I want to say. Is
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: one of the one of the biggest things I've got
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: out of working with you and the readings I've done,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: is that you're going to make up stories. An experience happens,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: and then your brain instantly goes to work making up
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: a story and an interpretation of what just happened. And
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: if you're an anxious, depressive person, that that could instantly
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: go to worry and negativity and the worst possible interpretation
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: of that experience. But you just but one just totally
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: made all that up and instantly accepted it as the truth. No, absolutely,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, as you know, I mean, I work with
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: you know, exceptional performing artists and like the one hosting
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: this show, but I work with a lot of athletes,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: tons of athletes. You know, I've worked for many years
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: in the Major League baseball in the NFL. One of
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: the stories I wrote about in my book is exactly
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about. You know. There's a pitcher who's
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: in the major leagues for the first time, first time
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: in the big Show. He's up there, he's pitching, and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, he notices that his pitching coach
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: looks a little bit disturbed. He just sees it in
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: in in, you know, down in the dugout, and he's
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: up there and he's starting to think about, like, what
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: is this guy? What is he thinking about it? Right now?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: He's just sucking totally. You know, he's really suspicious of me.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: He's got all these stories going in his head, and
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: he actually kind of gives up a home run, has
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: a terrible outing, comes back in the dugout, and the
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: pitching coach he's saying, how are you doing all right?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, But part of it is like your
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: attitude towardsman. He's like, dude, I've had I've had terrible
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: gas all day. I've been you know, I don't know
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: what it was. The burritos last night. So you know,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: you're right, man. We have this constant story that we
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: tell ourselves and it's very evolutionary, right. I mean, no
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: one gives you the handbook on on what it means
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: to be a human, right, we learned it along the way,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: and so CBT cogon behavioral therapy and to some degree,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: performance psychologies. It's all about giving people a better manual
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: about how to live as a human, how to change
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: your thoughts, how to interpret stories in a different way.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: We need training on this, you know, and you never
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: we obviously never get a manual we get, you know,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: we get, we learned. None of this is taught in school,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you know, we have In my school, we had to
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: take we had to learn. I always I always reference
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: proofs as the dumbest thing I learned because it was
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: like and I know some kids needed to be exposed
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: to mathematical proofs to go on and be math geniuses.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: But I remember learning like therefore by the associative property,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: whatever the fuck it was, being like this, my time
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: would be so much more valued with a communications course.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And actually my high school, I'm sure it's long gone,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: but in the early nineties had one communications class and
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking, even at the time, thinking like, this
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: is pretty progressive for a public high school, and it
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: was amazing. It was it was about sharing, it was
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: about listening, it was about all this stuff, and most kids,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: this is my me rambling going so much of what
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I've learned, and and in late in life it would
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: be so valuable. I always think when I have some
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Eureka moment with you or with a book, I'm like,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, imagine I knew this in high school.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Imagine someone exposed me to this in my teens. How
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: much easier I could have navigated all all my emotions
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: and all my insecurity. You know. Yeah, And there's something
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean, Zach, it's really it's interesting you're
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: saying that, because there is some movement towards that, like
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: there's a whole social and emotional learning that's happening a
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: little bit more in school. But I agree with you,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, I agree with you. I think that fundamentally,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: you know, what we need to learn is how to
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: understand our emotions and how to understand our thoughts and feelings.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: And we don't really learn that, right. We spend a
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: lot of time learning things that aren't that value of
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: all those proofs you're never gonna use again. But wow,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: if people just learned how to listen better to other people,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: if that's what was taught, Like if you were taught
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: how to empathize and how to listen, which is a
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: really hard skill to learn because we all listen to
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: reply and so how to I mean, it's one of
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: the most powerful things I got out of all of
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: this is like that interpretation, that negative thought you're having
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: is not the truth, and it's and it's not even
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: who you are. It's just this trigger response to an event.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And in my case, because I'm a warrior and I'm
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: anxious and i have OCD, the trigger response is negativity
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: and worry and fear and and I've been learning with
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: you that, Like that's just totally the web usepun like that.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: The facts of what happened are our X. Okay, you know.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: The fact is the pitching coach looked like he was frowning.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: That is a fact. But my experience of it is
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: he's saying I suck. He's swirming, he thinks I suck.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Everyone in this fucking stadium thinks I suck. I do suck.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Why am I here, I shouldn't be here, and then
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: of course the next day you learn he just had gas.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: And I do that every I do that a thousand
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: times a I mean, even with the work I'm doing it.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I'm actually trying to work on this. I'm obviously catching
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: myself now, but I'm still it's still a trigger response,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? No? Absolutely, And that's
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: what's so great about you know, you talking about it
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: and being open about it, because you know everybody listening
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: does that. You know, it's evolutionary. You know we all
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: have this negative bias. It grew because humans need to
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: be negative in order to survive. Let's take a break.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. So the
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: rule of threes is a really interesting rule. It's it's
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: about survival. How long can you survive without food? I
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: want to take a guess, like three days, right, you
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: can survive longer, Actually you can survive. You're you're actually
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: thinking about about water. You can survive for three weeks,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: But you're right, it's three days without water and it's
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: three minutes without air. So three weeks out without food,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: three days without water, three minutes without are basically right,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: and so you're you really we have this conception that
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: we need that those things, but we can survive longer.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: But how long can you survive if you fail to
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: recognize a predator in your environment, if you don't notice
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: something dangerous, how long will you survive? Could be no
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: time at all, No time at all, we're dead. So
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: if you think about how our brains evolved, they evolved
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: to notice the thing that was wrong. Right, That's how
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: we're built. We're built to notice the thing that's wrong.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: When I give a talk, I mean, you know, or
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: give a talk to a thousand people whatever, I go
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: up there, the first person I notice is the person
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: looking at their phone. Yeah, first person I know. Oh
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: my god, I did a Broadway show. Dude, I did
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: a Broadway show. And I would perform to two thousand
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: people or I don't know, something like that, and I
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: would I would see someone yawned, and it would fucking
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: ruin my whole show. Absolutely, absolutely, one person. I'm ignoring
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: the nineteen the nineteen hundred and ninety nine people that
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: are are hopefully enjoying it, and I see the one
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: dude yawn and I'm like, I suck, this sucks. We
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: suck totally, right. I mean, that's and that and that's
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: something that's universal and so you know, so the way
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I talk about it, and you know this, you know,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: is that there are three parts to being a human thoughts, feelings,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and actions, and that we spend most of our time
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: focused on feelings, when feelings is a thing that we
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: control the least. You can't directly if you're feeling shitty
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: and someone says, hey, cheer up, what do you want
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: to do? Punch the person in the face, right, Like,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: that's you know, the worst thing you could say to
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: someone who's anxious has calmed down, right, that you can't
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: you can you really, you just you can lose your mind.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: So what are the things that we can affect. We
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: can affect thoughts, and we can affect actions. The one
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: thing you directly control is what you do. And so
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of behavior of therapy is thinking about that
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: with people and as you know, doing experiments. You know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: there's this myth that we have to feel a certain
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: way to act a certain way, and it's just the reverse.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: You know, by behaving a certain way, you can you
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: start to feel a certain way. And I think that's
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: hard to do. Without some coaching, right, that therapy doesn't
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: have to take forever, the myth of you know, sitting
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: on a couch and talking about your past for ten years. Look,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I mean therapy can be really effective done in short duration,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: in six weeks, in eight weeks, and twelve weeks, if
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you're really working with someone who's focused with you and
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: who's jumping in and helping you to as you were saying,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: examine right, put into a record these thoughts. I always
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: tell people when I'm working with them. Look, you know
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: in your head there's a district attorney and a public defender.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Only when we get depressed and anxious, the district attorney
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: is like Harvard train. They're ready to go, right, they're
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: attacking every moment, right, But you need to beef up
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: that public defender. You need to school them. You need
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: to give them instructions about how to examine these thoughts.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: You know, humans have these two errors that we jump to.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: One is blowing things out of proportion and the other
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: one is jump into conclusion. And so as we were
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: talking about before, what a great coach, a great therapist
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: is going to help you do is to examine the
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: evidence and put things in perspective. The more you do that,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: you know you're gonna have a different relationship to the
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: events in your life. As the famous quote says, things
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: are not as they are, they are as we are. Yeah,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. I also feel like
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: you know, Um, and some of this, by the way,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: not to plug shrinking, but some of this is happening
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: and shrinking. If you're watching shrinking. Um, there's a there's
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: a running joke called called boop where where they refer
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: to as a pattern interrupt And what I got out
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: of that is you can change the way you're being
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: with someone instantaneously and and they can't help but shift.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: It's almost like in tennis, Um, if you if you,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: if you hit the ball cross court, the opponent has
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to has to there's no choice, has to shift to
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: the other side of the court. And aren't impressed. Talkingment
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: of sports enalogy. But by the way, I didn't realize.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize until last night in the bath, as
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I was thinking where I have my greatest revelations, I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: was like, how funny is it that of all of
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: the therapists in the world, I have a sports psychologist
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: as why But um, yeahs like neither of us, neither
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: of us have credibility in that department. Well, you're you know,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: you're not an athlete. They're terrible. That's I think that's
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: the thing that makes me good. Weren't you like the
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: weren't you like the psychologist for the Giants? I was
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: a psychologist for the New York Mets for nine years
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: and the New York Giants for two years. Yeah, so
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: that's amazing that you don't know anything about sports. I mean,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I know about it, but I can't. I mean, the
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: most you must need to know more than I know,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: because I just know, like you're trying to get the
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: ball with the bat as far as possible. I mean,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I think where I needed my own own techniques is
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: when I was asked to play catch with these guys
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: like on the field, and they saw what I was
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: really made up. That's funny. Um, but um this idea
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: of a pattern interrupt that you can change who you're
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: being and like the person that you've I hit cross court,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: the guy has to the guy or gal has to
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: move to the other side of the court. Well, in
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: micro ways, you can do that anytime you choose in
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: your life. You've been Let's say you've been reacting to
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: a certain person's behavior. Your go to reaction is a
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: certain way, and then you try a pattern and drop,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: and you just change who you're being in that in
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: that relationship and they have to move to the other
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: side of the court because your reaction is different. Do
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Can you explain that more
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: particularly than I just did? No? I think you're explaining
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: it well. I mean, you know Marshall Lenahan, who's a
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: really you know, an innovator in the field. She has
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: a quote which she says, like, you can't think yourself
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: into a new way of acting, You have to act
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: yourself into a new way of thinking. And I think
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: a pattern disrupt the way we talk about that is
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: an experiment. And what I find to be really effective
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: is you know, once you start to do experiments in
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: your life, right, you know, once you start to try
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: something that's different, Yeah, you get a different result, and
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: that result is reinforcing. There's nothing more powerful than reinforcement
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: when we do something that A pattern destruct works because
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: usually when you do when you do a different action,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: you have a different result, and if that result is reinforcing,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: it's really powerful and it makes you want to do
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: it more. That just lights me up so much because
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I want our audience to hear something that's so powerful.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Is like, that's instantaneous, that's not years of therapy. That's
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: something it takes. It might take courage in your situation,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: and definitely might take vulnerability in your situation, but it's
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: literally something you can do instantaneously, which is I no
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: longer will accept just making up example, you talking to
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: me that way, the way that you're talking to me
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: is no longer acceptable, and my reaction to it will
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: now be why even though for a decade it's been X.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: And of course that takes courage. This is all about
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: courage and vulnerability. That's the theme of the whole wall
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: of working on yourself. But it is something you can
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: notice instantaneously, right, Doc, Absolutely, I mean I think you know,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: to use the shrinking term. You know it is trying
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: those boops in your life. You know you're worried about um,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: you know what someone's going to think of you if
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: you you know, behave in a certain way. Try that behavior.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: What I tell people all the time, And this comes
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: from a long history of science in what's called exposure therapy. Yeah,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: you know, exposure therapy. You know, so much of life
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: is by you know, finding ways to stop avoiding things.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Avoidance is the enemy of all progress, and finding ways
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: to stem avoidance is the key. So I mean really
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: simply with or without therapy, kind of making a list
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: of the things that you're avoiding and just in the
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: smallest ways attacking those things is a disruptive pattern that's
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: going to help you achieve. That could be a huge
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: conversation that you're avoiding. That could be asking for a
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: raise at work, that could be changing, you know, starting
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: your screenplay, it could be starting your business. I mean,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: it could be something small like a conversation, or it
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: could be something big like starting a business right entirely.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: And I think you know the thing about I mean,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I was just you got me thinking about shrinking. What
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I love about that show is you know, it's a parody, right,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: so he's just going and just telling everybody what he thinks.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: But what I think is great about that is this
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: is he's just confronting avoidance. You know, what you find
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: in your life is when you start to do the
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: things you're afraid of, you get unusual results and positive reinforcement.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Positive re enforcement is so much more powerful than anything
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: that you could any kind of other reward. There's a
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: story I tell about positive reenforcement. So one of the
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: biggest people who's evolved the field of psychology was this
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: guy BF Skinner, Right, he was a guy who changed psychology,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: came up up with these ideas of positive reinforcement. He
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: used to do, you know, experiments with where he'd look
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: at how people will respond to it. And one year
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: his class decided they were going to actually respond to
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: him and use positive reinforcement operating conditioning with him. And
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: so what they decided to do is while he was speaking,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: they were going to just reinforce his behavior, try to
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: get him to move to the left side of the room.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: That's the behavior they were encouraging. And so they did
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: it by reinforcing him in the way that presenters like
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: to be responded to. So, how do you what do
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: you want to see when you're presenting? You want to
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: see smiles and applause and nodding yeah exactly. So that's
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: all they did. He had no idea what was going on.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: When he moved to the left, one step to the left,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: they just nodded and smiled, and then when he stopped,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: they stopped. That's it. B. F. Skinner, legendary psychologist, spoke
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: tucked into the left harbor wherever you were speaking, right,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And so you know, it's simply you know, making getting
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: And this is what depression is about. Whatever one people
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: want to say about depression, depression is about the lack
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: of reinforcement in your life. You're not getting enough positive reinforcement.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: And so what a great therapist is going to help
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: you to do is forget about what happened in the past. Okay,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: let's talk about getting you in a position to receive
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: reinforcement in your life. Where does that come from? Not
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: inside your apartment? Right, just not there, right, You're never
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: going to find that reinforcement. Like you know what, I
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: always jove of people a quarter to people come in
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: to tell me, Hey, I want to find a romantic partner.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I can tell you one thing where they're not.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: They're not in your apartment. You're not going to find them, right,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: So like, we gotta we gotta get out, We got
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: to start moving and shaking, and we're going to figure
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: out ways to do that. That dove tails with another thing,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: not just looking for a partner, but I am I feel,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: you know, one of the things I've been asked. I
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: just finished the giant press tour for a Good Person,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: and one thing that kept coming up was, um, what
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: are the themes in overarching themes that that that journalists
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: were seeing in my in my three films, UM, Garden State,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: which I was here, which I always mentioned, I wrote
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: with my brother Adam, who's a brilliant writer, and now
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: the latest one A Good Person, And so it's caused
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: me to examine. It's something I really looked at. But
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I was again thinking about it in the tub last night,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: where I do my great thinking, and I was thinking
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: that for me, it's it's about looking for The theme
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: is looking for human connection, and it really comes out
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: of my my my loneliness. UM that I've felt my
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: whole life very even even when I'm surrounded by people
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: and friends and others, I have felt different and other
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: than and very lonesome. And so I think all three
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: films are are are about yearning for a deeper connection
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: to someone hmm. And and I think the response to
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: this film, um, since it's come out, and and and
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: the messages the beautiful, heartfelt messages and commons I'm getting
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and and and other social media platforms. I'm
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: seeing this connection to that obviously to grief and to
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: addiction and to but I feel people really tapping into
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: that yearning for a deep connection to other human beings. Yeah,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, all your films are certainly about that. For
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious, though, you know what, what's your hope
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: for what this film does? How does it? What does
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: it bring out in people? And what will what will
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: how will they walk away after seeing it? I hope
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: that they feel less lonesome, I mean, or or just
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: or just that they see themselves in the movie. I mean,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: the movie is obviously an extreme it's it's it's no secret,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: it's in the trailer. It's about a vehicular manslaughter and
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: and and how that affects the lives of these two families.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: And now, God willing the audience won't have something that
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: extreme in their in their life, but they will. Everyone
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: grieves something, Everyone has a pain in their heart about something,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: and I and I hope that they that they that
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: they go and experience it and um and and feel
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: less a little bit a smige and less alone that
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: there's other people, Because when I'm really depressed and anxious
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: and lonesome and I just feel I just feel like
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I'm the only one feeling those things. I know in
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: them in the macro that's ridiculous. I know that we're
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: all human beings, but but but that's what you feel,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: that's what's overwhelming feeling. So I hope that people see
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: this and feel um see themselves and feel seen and
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: feel less lonesome. That's what I really hope. Yeah, well
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I'm you know, what do you think people would be
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: surprised to know about you that that led to this film,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: that led to this coming out, and led to this
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: come into fruition. I think probably that I've suffered from depression.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I mean that's something I just spoke about him really
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: openly for the first time on the Rich Role Podcast,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: which is a podcast I really recommend everybody. It's my
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: favorite podcast other than this one, obviously, But Rich Role
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: is just a fantastic interviewer, and he's he's just a
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: guy who wasn't addict and he turned his whole life around,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: and then he became like one of those marathoners who
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: runs like insane marathons, and now he's just I don't know,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: he's just a I saw him the other night and
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I said, you're like my rabbi, Like I think I
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: was like, I think you're I think what you do
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: for me in my life is what a rabbi is
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: supposed to do for Jewish people, because I just find
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: him so inspiring. And but anyway, I'm rambling. Um, that's
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: what I think that people would be surprised to know.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Because I'm known for being a a comic actor. I'm
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: known for being silly. I come and do this show,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: for example, and you know, throughout the pandemic, there were
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: times when I was really, really really depressed. Um, you know,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Nick was dying, Amanda's was fifty feet away in my
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: guesthouse in a ball crying, and I was very very sad.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: And I would psych myself up to to be funny
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: on this podcast because I want to entertain people. I
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: get joy. I do get joy from making people laugh
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: and entertaining them, and I get I get a dopamine
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: high from feeling like Donald and I and Joel and
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Daniel were funny, and I hopefully made people laugh and
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: made them feel good. But I certainly. Um. I think
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: that's the biggest surprise people would probably think, is that
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: I you know that I've suffered my whole life from
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: from depression and anxiety and and and it's actively working
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: on actively working on it with you to to be
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: able to tackle it better. I mean, I'm just listening
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: to what you're saying about the Rich Role podcasts and
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: the marathon and what he does, and I just think
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: of you and your life, and you certainly have run
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: a marathon through COVID and through all those things that
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: you experienced. What what has allowed you to do that?
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, how have you, in our work and on
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: your own been able to get through that and then
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: use that to produce I think, thank you. That's a
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: great question. I think I really just focused on. You know,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you a story I'd never told anyone, and
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: that is that I don't know why this is my
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: answer right away, but I you know this, but no
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: one knows this. I was super sick in the beginning
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: of January. I got so I got strapped throat so
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: the worst I've ever had. It was so painful, I
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: couldn't even swallow water. I mean, I didn't know you
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: could get strapped, throught this bad and think I think
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I had scarlet fever because I had a rash on
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: my stomach and I was like googling, Yeah, I was
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: googling rash. I finally was like rash and the strep
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: throat and it said scarlet fever. And I was like,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I got a fucking scarlet fever. And I tried to
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: convince my doctor. I was like, he's like, you wouldn't
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: get scarlet fever. That's for children in This's like rare.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I have fucking scarlet fever, dude. Anyway,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever convinced him, but anyway,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: so I was so sick and I was so sad,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: and I was so alone, and I remember just lying
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: on this heating pad because it was the only thing
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: that felt good. I didn't even have my dog with
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: me to I mean, I was just it was a
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: low point. And anyway, I put on this Burnet Brown
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: YouTube ted talk about vulnerability, which has gone viral for years.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: If you haven't seen it, it's it's it's what broke
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Brenee Brown as a self help guru if you will,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you call her but she's amazing.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: And it was her first TED talk and it was
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: about vulnerability and I just started sobbing. I just started crying.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Granted I was very sensitive and very sick, but I
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: just what she was saying about being vulnerable and having
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: the courage to be vulnerable. Um, I just felt this tears.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I cried for the whole thing. And uh. And so
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I think that that obviously tapped into something for me.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: And that's where it's a similar place that the movie
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: came out of. It was like, what if I, you know,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: just wrote something that was incredibly vulnerable. You know, the
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: story of a good person is not my exact story,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: but all the emotions and the feelings and the everything
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: that's that is the support structure of the plot is
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: my story. Yeah. And I think in what you've made too,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, it just it speaks to the fact that
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: everybody has a struggle, um, and that it speaks to
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: the fact that we're all experiencing and have experienced over
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: this past couple of years loss. I mean, if you haven't,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: if you haven't experienced loss in the past couple of years,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: in some way, you probably weren't awake to what was
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: going on, Well, wasn't even men. You needn't even be death. Um,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: it could be just the the this. I think we're
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: all in, I mean, this PTSD from what happened, and
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: we're all moving on, like, Okay, that was crazy. And
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I really think. I was talking to my mom about this,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: who's also a psychologist. She's been on the podcast, and
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I was talking about last night because we were trying
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: to analyze this and this beautiful audience response, and my
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: mom was saying kind of like, I think that there's
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: a there is a collective grief in society that that
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: people might not even know is there within them, and
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: that that could be from their very real life experience,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: of course, or or it could be just from the
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: experience of the trauma of COVID. I mean, you know,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I think what's what's the story within the story here
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: is you know, you were asking me about changing behaviors
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: and about dealing with grief and about dealing with depression
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and overcoming it and how cogn behavioral therapy is a
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: method for that. But the whole arc of making this
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: movie was in fact all of that. For you. It
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: was it was quite a journey, you know, and and
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: it's this audience has been along for the whole ride,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: you know, guys, Joel and Daniel I started talking when
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: we started the podcast. I thought he was telling even
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: writing it for a long time. Let's take a We'll
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: be right back after these fine words. You guys have
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: any questions for the doc, I don't mean to hog
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: expensive doctor's time. You guys, it was really fascinating to
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: hear the two of you talk, so please to apologize. Yeah, yeah,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: so okay, I, similar to Zach, have depression. Um I
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: noticed it at like sixteen, but I also had add
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: which was also undiagnosed. So I got diagnosed with depression
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: when I was thirty and with add when I was
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: thirty one. And when I started therapy. You know, my
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: first therapist was a lot like you. She was like,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: all right, let's figure out what the problem is. Let's
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: really make a plan, let's go get it. And I
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: was instansed. I was like, I'm hurting, I don't know
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: how to start trying. I'm so angry and still confused,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm still trying to get medicated despite being diagnosed.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: It was like a whole process and it was frustrating
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: for me, so I went through two years of just
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: the emotional kind of therapy, the let's just dive deep
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: and just talk about your past and all of that stuff.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: And then at some point I was like, this is
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: not changing anything. So like on a new therapist, cognitive
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: behavioral therapist who helped me change and grow a lot.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: But I say all that to ask, is there a
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: headspace you need to be in or a thing you
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: need to have done in order to be ready for CBT?
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: This is such a great question. I really I love
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: this question. I'm already married, but I would marry this
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: question if I wasn't there. I love this question because
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: you know, I think by our discussing this, you're really
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: going to help a lot of people. Look, the main
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: advice I have about therapists is if you feel like
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: your therapist doesn't like you, fire them. And not to
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: say that this therapist and you didn't get along, but
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you know, if there's not mutual likability, meaning you don't
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: feel understood, forget, it doesn't matter what kind of therapy
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: they do they can do. You know, I don't know
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: scarlet fever therapy. It doesn't matter very like they're not
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: the right person, and so what the research the science
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: shows us is the biggest effect of therapy is feeling
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: understood by the therapist and that there's mutual well you know,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: likability and positive regard and so that's just like, you know,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: it's like when I there was this club, the Palladium
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: that I in New York City growing up, and I
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: would go there. They'd be these amazing drag queens out front.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I would go up to the front and try to
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: get in, and they'd be like you you and look
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: at me and dead in my face and be like
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: not you. So you know that later on Zach will
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: worked that out with me. But anyway, so they have this,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: they have these these little ropes, right, the velvet ropes.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: You can't get into a great therapy relationship unless you
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: get past that. And the entry fee is empathy. You
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: need to be able to show and demonstrate understanding of
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: the person and connect with them. It doesn't matter what
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: kind of therapy you do, right, And so I would say,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: you know, to me, it's sort of seventy percent that
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: to your point, and thirty percent the techniques, right, and
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: so you know, you should find a therapist that you
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: feel like understands you. And a lot of the research
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: also shows because is such a great question, I could
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: nerd out on this forever and I think it's really helpful.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you got to be able to
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: do two things as a great coach. You have to
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: first be able to connect and demonstrate an understanding and
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: the hurt. Acknowledge the hurt, and show the person you
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: get the hurt. Only then will you be able to
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: teach or give skills. I'll tell one other story about this,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: because your your question like unfull, you know, sort of
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: opened a door. But I was once in the clubhouse
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: of a professional sports organization and I was there and
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: there was a rookie. He was really struggling. This is
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: a guy who's just starting in sports, right, it's really struggling.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: And I was newer at the field, and I was
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: just going after him. I was like, hey, man, why
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: do you try this? Why do you try that? Why
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: do you try that? And there was a veteran there
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: who knew me right and for a long time, and
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: he just sauntered over. Afterwards, the kid was like listening
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: and he was like, you know, playing my game, and
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: then he walked away and the veteran just like, look, Fader,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: people have to know that you care before they care
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: what you know, and that just like stuck with me.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: It's a cool I think Roosevelt said it or something,
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: but that's stuck with me forever. To your point, well,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: like this isn't even about therapy, it's it's about teaching.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: You know, if Daniel's teaching someone else audio video stuff,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: It's like if the person doesn't feel like you really
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: care about them, it doesn't matter what you say. It
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter the instruction, it doesn't matter the thing. So
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: your question is also just like a hammering home point, like,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: find someone that you feel like cares about you and
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: that you care about you can develop relationship. There's instant
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: good feeling. Well within the first meeting, I feel that
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: you care very much about me, and I do. Man,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I trust you, and I feel like you're rooting I do.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, the coach analogy is so strong. I feel
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: like you're rooting for me. Another really powerful thing that
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: I get out of our relationship is that I feel
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: accountable to you. I'm not going to let you down
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: because I know. It's like just like an athlete doesn't
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: want to let their coach down and their team captain down.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want to let you down. So if I
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: committed to you that I'm going to write, you know,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Monday through Friday for three hours a day, and then
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: I'll text him like I did it, or I'll send
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: him pages. We have this relationship where it's like I'm
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: not gonna not send him pages because I don't want
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: to disappoint him. And I think that's really great, a
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: really powerful thing. And you don't have to you know,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: you don't have to be in therapy to do it. Obviously,
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: you can do it with your partner, you could do
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: it with a friend. But if you're trying to start
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: a new habit really being accountable to another person that
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: you don't want to let down, that you can made
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: a commitment to. Let's say you're trying to do sobriety
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: for a month, or you're trying to um, you know, write,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: or you're trying to you know, eat less. Whatever your
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: thing is that you have some sort of person. It
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: could be a therapist, it could be a parent, it
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: could be a friend, it could be a partner that
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: you're accountable to and that you don't want to disappoint
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: and that obviously you're honest with because if you're lying
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: with the hell's the point, right, Yeah, I mean you
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: know what you're saying is so valuable, Zach, because not
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: everybody listening is going to go to therapy for whatever
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: reason right now, well some can't afford it. We should
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: say we we we advertise better help on here, which
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: I think is a is a new and affordable way
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: for people to seek out therapy. So obviously, um, you know,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I have a great privilege in being able to have
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: you in my life, so I do want to acknowledge that.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: But there are ways to reach out to people and
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: and sometimes for those who can't, um, it could be
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: as simple as reaching out to a friend, not not
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: a friend who's going to give you bad advice. You
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: know who that person is, don't sort of you everyone
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: listening knows who's the friend not to go to. But
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: but but but just being in communication and sharing and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: being honest and authentic that I've gotten just so much.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: You know. My sort of word for my year now
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: is is vulnerability. Obviously, releasing a movie to the world
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: is the most vulnerable thing I can do is in
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: my profession, and it's it did take a lot of
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: courage to to just release something and then you know,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: have and just show it to the world and have
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: everyone way in on it. But anyone who's listening's life,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: whether it be as small as having a scary conversation
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: you're dreading or or you know, it's all about vulnerability.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: It's all about saying, I'm going to do this because
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be authentically myself and I'm going to
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: allow myself to be vulnerable and I'm going to do it. Yeah,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean I had I had a therapist
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: actually who once said to me, this is maybe twenty
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: years ago, who said, look, you know people people often
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: regret the things that they didn't do, not the things
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: they did. And um, and that made a lot of
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: sense to me. And I think, you know, what do
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: people who regret later in life? Mostly there are regrets
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: around relationships. Um. And when you speak about the word vulnerability,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: you know, we all have someone in our life that
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: we could you know, finish this podcast and and be
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: more authentic too. Maybe they're a friend, maybe they're a partner,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: But you know, I think there's so much My experience
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: has been that that finding the people that you can
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: build a little bit more clear already in vulnerability with
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: It's just such an enriching part of our lives to
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: be able to do that. I just a question for you,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: and don't know, maybe maybe you cut this and this
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: is just a real we never talked about this, but
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: you know, how do you know that I care about you?
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: What are the things that that happened that make you
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: feel that way. I feel that you're authentic, and I
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: feel that you're genuinely interested, and I feel that you're
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: rooting for me, and I feel no matter sometimes I
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: fall down and I don't come through with something I
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: committed to you that I was going to do, or
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: I tried every technique you gave me and I still
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: felt depressed. But I always feel like you're You're in
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: my corner. You're like you're in if I was a boxer.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: You're the guy that's pushing that weird thing on my
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: forehead and whatever that things. I don't even I don't
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: even know what that thing does. I get the sponge,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I don't get that weird push down on your forehead thing,
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: but um, I don't know. That's it. That's it and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I and I and I know that you are because
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: um you you root for me. I feel like you
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: you're You're one of my biggest champions, so I want
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: to thank you. Don't worry everyone, We're going back to
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: a comedy podcast. Some of the fans right now are like,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: oh fuck, no, I promise you this will not be therapy.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: Next week we're gonna have Donald back and we will
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: be playing the bong hit noise on the sound effects
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: just to prove it to you. You're gonna kick off
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: the real doctors. Hold on, I gotta get the bong
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: effects so every no one freaks out talk one second.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah there it is every the show here in honor
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: of Donald's what you're trying to get into one day,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: shoon what you're trying to do. All right, we'll be
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: back being funny next week. I want to think, doctor Favorite.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I do want to plug your book because you've an
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: awesome book. Um and uh it's called remind me what
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: it's called, because I forget Life is Sport and I
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: know you're writing a new one, Um, but check out
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Life is Sport if you want to read some of
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: these amazing wisdoms from this gentleman who's helped me so
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: much I genuinely did from the bottom of my heart.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have written this film without you, and so
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: thank you. And I couldn't have written without this podcast
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: to be honest, Joelle and Daniel, because um, it made
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: me laugh and it was a hit of dopamine every
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: every week when we do it. So thank you guys
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: and audience. Um, thanks for listening, and thanks for a
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: welcoming doctor Fader into our community. And um, check out
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: a good person. If you haven't seen, it'll only be
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: in theaters a little while obviously, and then and then
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: it'll come on streaming. But I do think, um, there's
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: something really powerful about seeing it in the theater. It is.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: Um there's something communal about about experiencing the emotions that
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: come up with this with friends, with family, with a
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: partner in a in a movie theater setting. So you'll
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: only have a couple of weeks in order to do that,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: and um, it just expanded this weekend tonight, I should say,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: because we're airing this on the thirty first of March,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: right DAYLD. So that's it. We love you. Anything else
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: you guys want to say, no, come back next Tuesday.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: We'll be here, you know. What actually I think. First
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: of all, this is thanks so much for having me on.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: It was really great to talk to all of you.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: And you know, I love the questions that you had. Actually,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I think it would be helpful, Zach, just briefly if
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: you want to talk about the behavioral things you did
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: to write the book. I think that would be really
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: interesting to people. I mean, to write the script. I
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: mean yeah, I mean I think, you know, just talking
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: a little bit about what, you know, what were the
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: ways that you got it done. Everybody, everybody who's listening here,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: you know, almost to a person is trying to get
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: something done right. They're trying to lose weight, they're trying
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: to quit drinking, they're trying to speak differently their partner,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: they're trying to write their own screenplay, whatever it is.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: They're trying to get something done. And you know, you
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: you really became a master of some of these techniques
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: that you and I worked on to well master no
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: by no means master, but thank you. Um. I just
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: practiced what you taught me, and that was some one. Well,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: the biggest, most basic thing is is committing making a
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: commitment to do it every day. Um, just like you
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: make you make a commitment, an important commitment to to
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: do anything in your life. When you know you commit
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: to someone in marriage, it's a serious commitment. UM. I
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: committed to doctor Fader and to myself that I was
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: going to write five days a week for a certain
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: amount of hours, and that even if I was staring
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: at the blinking cursor and and saying to myself, you suck,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: this sucks, I suck that I was still going to
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: show up and be vulnerable. And some days it would
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: go great and some days it wouldn't. Um, But I
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: always I was keeping my commitment. I I and I
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: would say to him, and he Doctor Fader always says,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: there's there's great power in a streak. Meaning if I've
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: done that commitment and I've really wrote five days in
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: a row, on Monday, I'm gonna I'm gonna start again
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to mess up my streak. If
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: you're trying to go sober and you made it five days,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: you don't want to mess up your streak. It's exciting,
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I've told I think I've spoken about this
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: on the podcast before, where I would take something as
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: simple as a paper calendar. You guys can do this
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: for free, and you don't. I use stickers, but if
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: you don't want to pay for stickers, use a pencil.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: And I would just go. I would give at the
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: end of the day. When I was when I was
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: first attempting uh not you know, not drinking from month,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: I would uh, I would give myself a smiley face
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: at the end of that day. And I would see
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: all the smiley faces and I'd be like, I'm not
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: sucking up my smiley face streets. So it's so simple.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: And I told I sold this to rich Role and
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: he was like, it's so funny, how reptilian, he said,
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: our brains are. It's just that we want that. We
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: want that, We want that fucking smile. It's like when
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: you're potty training your kids, you know, I know people
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: use stickers, like if you you you get a sticker
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: on the day, if you use the potty or whatever.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: We still my brain, at a pretty six at the time,
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm not fucking not getting that smiley face.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I want that. So even stuff like that really helped
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: me going for a streak. Getting affirmation, sending the pages
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: to to friends and then getting feedback from them always
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: felt good. When I would people in my writing community,
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: I would send a scene to and be like, hey,
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: can I get your thoughts? And so getting that feedback
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: was helpful. It would it would inspire me when they
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: were like this is great, oh my gosh, keep going.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: But really showing up, you know, showing up every day,
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: no matter how I felt, was was the key. It's
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: so huge. I mean, the gamification of your task is key.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, people of what I've done with
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: some people, just have them order a light bright you know,
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: twelve dollars online and just every day that you do
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: your thing, you put a little light bright key into
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: the light right right, No, it's good. It's the cheapest
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: you can do it. So this money money can't be
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: your excuse if you don't want my free version. If
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: you don't want my free version, no, my mind version
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: is free. Everyone should have a pencil. If not, just
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: pick your finger and use blood. I'm just kidding, but
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: you can. Anybody can print a paper calendar off the internet.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: But but if you want to spend seven bucks, you
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: can buy a light break. Go ahead, doctor Fader, Yeah,
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: do it. And I mean I think, look, the reality
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: is that you know just by having simple gamification and
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: also connecting it. You don't have to have a therapist,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: radio a therapist of coach, but finding someone. The science
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: shows if you say out loud to someone what you're
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: intending to do, and they hear it and they know it,
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: you're much more likely to complete it. And so just
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: those two simple things or things that anyone listening here
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: can do and make it much more likely that you're
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: going to complete your goal. All right, On that note,
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: m I know that we only had you for the hour,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: So thank you so much. You're incredible. Life as Sport
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: is the book. Thank you, doctor Jonathan Vader, I love you,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: dwelling dal And that's our show, Bob six seven eight
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: stories about show we made about a bunch of doctor
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: nurses and a janitor who learned him. I said, he's
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: the stories natural should know. So gada around you here,
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: are YadA around you here? As free watch shows that
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: no mm hmmm