Latest / Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan / The Sarashina Diary Part 2
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- 0:00Section two of Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan. This is a LibriVox
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- 0:10to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Diaries of Court Ladies of Old
- 0:16Japan by Sarashina Murasakishikibu etal. Translated by Annie Schepliomori and KOCHIDOI the Sarashina Diary,
- 0:25Part two. After some days, one of my relatives sent me a
- 0:29romance entitled the Prince Yearning after the Buried, with the following note. The
- 0:34late lady had asked me to find her this romance. At that time I
- 0:39thought it impossible, But now, to utter to my sorrow, some one
- 0:42has sent it to me. I answered, what reason can there be that
- 0:47she strangely should seek a romance of the buried buried? Now is the seeker
- 0:52deep under the mosses. My sister's nurse said that since she had lost her,
- 0:58she had no reason to stay and went back to her own home weeping.
- 1:03Thus, death or parting separates us each from the other. Why must
- 1:07we part? Oh world? Too sad for me? For remembrance of her,
- 1:12I wanted to write about her. Began a letter from her nurse,
- 1:17but it stopped short with the words ink seems to have frozen up. I
- 1:22cannot write any more. How shall I gather memories of my sister? The
- 1:27stream of letters is congealed. No comfort may be found in icicles, so
- 1:34I wrote, And the answer was like the comfortless plover of the beach in
- 1:38the sund printing characters soon to be washed away, unable to leave a more
- 1:45enduring trace in this fleeting world. That nurse went to see the grave and
- 1:51returned sobbing, saying, I seek her in the field, but she is
- 1:55not there, Nor is she in the smoke of the cremation. Where is
- 2:00her last dwelling place? How can I find it? The lady who had
- 2:05been my stepmother heard of this and wrote, when we wander in search of
- 2:09her, ignorant of her last dwelling place, standing before the thought, tears
- 2:15must be our guide. The person who had sent the prince yearning after the
- 2:20buried, wrote how she must have wandered seeking the unfindable in the unfamiliar fields
- 2:25of bamboo grasses. Vainly weeping Reading these poems, my brother, who had
- 2:32followed the funeral that night composed the poem. Before my vision, the fire
- 2:38and smoke of burning arose and died again to bamboo fields. There is no
- 2:46more returning. Why seek there in Vain? It snowed for many days,
- 2:51and I thought of the nun who lived in Mount Yoshino, to whom I
- 2:54wrote, snow has fallen, and you cannot have even the unusual visual sight
- 3:00of men along the precipitous path of the peak of Yoshino. On the sociable
- 3:06month of the next year, Father was looking forward with happy expectation to the
- 3:10night when he might expect an appointment as governor of the province. He was
- 3:15disappointed, and a person who might have shared our joy wrote to me,
- 3:20saying, I anxiously waited for the dawn with uncertain hope. The temple bell
- 3:27roused me from dreams and waiting for the starlit dawn. The night alas was
- 3:31long as our one hundred autumn nights, I rode back. Long was the
- 3:38night the bell called from dreams in Vain, for he did not toll our
- 3:43realized hopes. Toward the moon hidden days of the rice rout month. I
- 3:47went for a certain reason to a temple at Higashiyama. On the way,
- 3:53the nursery beds for rice plants were filled with water, and the fields were
- 3:58green all over with a young growing rice. It was a smile presenting sight.
- 4:02It gave a feeling of loneliness to see the dark shadow of the mountain
- 4:06close before me. In the lovely evenings, water rails shattered in the fields.
- 4:14The water rails cackle as if they were knocking at the gate. But
- 4:17who would be deceived into opening the door? Saying our friend has come along
- 4:23the mountain path in the dark night. As the place was near the Raizan
- 4:28temple, I went there to worship. Arriving so far, I was fatigued
- 4:32and drank from a stone lined well beside the mountain temple, scooping the water
- 4:38into the hollow of my hand. My friend said, I could never have
- 4:42enough of this water. Is it the first time I asked that you have
- 4:46tasted the satisfying sweetness of a mountain well drunk from the hollow of your hand.
- 4:51She said, it is sweeter than to drink from a shallow spring,
- 4:56which becomes muddy even from the drops which fall from the hand which has scooped
- 5:00it up. We came home from the temple in the full brightness of evening
- 5:04sunshine, and had a clear view of Kyoto below us. My friend,
- 5:10who had said that the spring becomes muddy even with drops falling into it,
- 5:14had to go back to the capitol. I was sorry to part with her
- 5:17and send word the next morning, when the evening sun descends behind the mountain
- 5:24peak, will you forget that it is I who gaze with longing towards the
- 5:28place where you are. The holy voices of the priests reciting sutras in their
- 5:33morning service could be heard from my house, and I opened the door.
- 5:39It was dim early dawn, mist veiled the green forest, which was thicker
- 5:44and darker than in the time of flowers or red leaves. The sky seemed
- 5:48clouded this lovely morning. Cuckoos were singing on the nearby trees. Oh for
- 5:55a friend that we might see and listen together, Oh, the beautiful door
- 6:00in the mountain village. The repeated sound of cuckoos near and far away.
- 6:04On that moon hidden day, cuckoos sank clamorously on trees towards the glen in
- 6:12the Royal city. Poets may be awaiting you, cuckoos, Yet you sing
- 6:15here carelessly from morning till night. One who sat near me said, do
- 6:20you think that there is one person at least in the capital who is listening
- 6:26to cuckoos and thinking of us at this moment? And then many in the
- 6:30royal city like to gaze on the calm moon. But is there one who
- 6:35thinks of the deep mountain or is reminded of us hidden here? I replied,
- 6:42In the dead of night moon gazing, the thought of the deep mountain
- 6:46affrighted, Yet longings for the mountain village at all other moments filled my heart.
- 6:54Once towards dawn, I heard footsteps which seemed to be those of many
- 6:58persons coming down the mountain. I wondered, and looked out. It was
- 7:02a herd of deer which came close to her dwelling. They cried out,
- 7:08It was not pleasant to hear them near by. It is sweet to hear
- 7:12the love call of a deer to its mate. In autumn nights, upon
- 7:15the distant hills, I heard that an acquaintance had come near my residence and
- 7:20gone back without calling on me. So I wrote, Even these wandering wind
- 7:26among the pines of the mountain, I've heard that it departs with murmuring sound.
- 7:31In the leaf falling month, I saw the moon more than twenty days
- 7:35old. It was towards dawn. The mountain side was gloomy, and the
- 7:42sound of the waterfall was all I heard. I wish that lovers of nature
- 7:46may see the afterdon waning moon in a mountain village. At the close of
- 7:51an autumn night, I went back to Kyoto. When the rice fields,
- 7:56which had been filled with water when I came, were dried up, the
- 8:00rise being harvested the young plants in their bed of water. The plants harvested,
- 8:05the fields dried up. So long I remained away from home, twas
- 8:11the moon hidden of the God's absent month. When I went there again for
- 8:16temporary residence, the thick grown leaves, which had cast a dark shade,
- 8:20were all fallen. The sight was heartfelt. Over All, the sweet murmuring
- 8:26rivulet was buried under fallen leaves, and I could see only the course of
- 8:31it. Even water could not live on. So lonesome is the mountain of
- 8:35the leafs scattering stormy wind. I went back to Kyoto, saying that I
- 8:41should come again the next spring. Could I live so long? And begged
- 8:46the nun to send word when the flowering time had come. It was past
- 8:50the nineteenth of the ever growing month of the next year, but there were
- 8:54no tidings from her, So I wrote no word about the blooming cherry blossoms.
- 9:01Has not the spring come for you yet? Or does the perfume of
- 9:05flowers not reach you? I made a journey and passed many a moonlight night
- 9:09in a house beside a bamboo wood. Wind rustled its leaves, and my
- 9:15sleep was disturbed night after night. The bamboo leaves sigh, My dreams are
- 9:22broken, and a vague, indefinite saddness fills my heart. In autumn I
- 9:28went to leave elsewhere and sent a poem. I am like dew on the
- 9:33grass, and pitchable wherever I may be, But especially am I oppressed with
- 9:37suddness in a field with a thin growth of reeds. After that time,
- 9:43I was somehow restless and forgot about the romances. My mind became more sober,
- 9:50and I passed many years without doing any remarkable thing. I neglected religious
- 9:56services and temple observances. Those fantastic I ideas of the romances? Can they
- 10:01be realized in this world? If Father could win some good position, I
- 10:07also might enter into a much nobler life. Such unreliable hopes then occupied my
- 10:13daily thoughts. At last, the father was appointed governor of a province very
- 10:18far in the east. He said, I was always thinking that if I
- 10:24could win a position as governor in the neighborhood of the capital, I could
- 10:28take care of you. To my heart's desire, I would wish to bring
- 10:31you down to some beautiful scenery of sea and mountain. Moreover, I wish
- 10:37that you could live attended beyond the possibilities of our present position. Our calmer
- 10:41relation from our former world must have been bad. Now I have to go
- 10:48so distant a country after waiting so long. When I brought you you were
- 10:52a little child, to the eastern province, even a slight illness caused me
- 10:58much trouble of mind in thinking that should I die, you would wander helpless
- 11:01in that far country. There were many fears in a stranger's country, and
- 11:07I should have lived with an easier mind had I been alone, as I
- 11:11was then accompanied by all my family, I could not say or do what
- 11:15I wanted to say or do, and I was ashamed of it. Now
- 11:20you are grown up, and I am not sure that I can live long.
- 11:24It is not so unusual a fate to be helpless in the capital.
- 11:28But the saddest think of all would be to wander in the eastern province like
- 11:33any country woman. There are no relatives in the capital upon whom we could
- 11:37rely to foster you. Yet I cannot refuse the appointment which has been made
- 11:41after such long waiting. So you must remain here and I must depart for
- 11:48eternity. Oh, in what way may I provide a way for you to
- 11:52live in the capital? Distantly night and day he lamented saying these things,
- 11:58and I got all about flowers or maple leaves, grieving sadly, and there
- 12:03was no help for it. He went down on the thirteenth of the seventh
- 12:07month, ten thirty two. For several days before that, I could not
- 12:13remain still in my own room, for I thought it difficult to see him
- 12:18again. On that day, after restless hours, when the time for parting
- 12:24came, I had lifted the blind and my eye met his, from which
- 12:28tears dropped down. Soon he had passed by. My eyes were dim with
- 12:33tears, and soon I concealed myself in bed. A man who had gone
- 12:39to see him off, returned with a poem written on a bit of pocket
- 12:43paper, a message from her father. If I could do as I wish,
- 12:48I could acknowledge more profoundly the sorrow of departing in autumn. I could
- 12:52not read the poem to the end. In the happier time, I had
- 12:56often tried to compose halting poems, But at present I had no word to
- 13:03say. Never begun to think in this world even for a moment from you
- 13:07to part alas no person came to my side, and I was very lonely
- 13:13and forlorn, musing and guessing where he would be at every moment. As
- 13:20I knew the road he was taking, I thought of him the more longingly
- 13:24and with greater heart Shrinking morning and evening, I looked towards the sky line
- 13:28of the Eastern mountains. In the leaf falling month, I went to the
- 13:33temple at Uzumasa to pass many days. We came upon two men's palanquins in
- 13:39the road from Ichijo, which had stopped there. They must have been waiting
- 13:45for some one to catch up with them. When I passed by, they
- 13:48sent an attendant with a message, flowers seek go We suppose I thought it
- 13:54would be awkward not to reply to such a slight mutter, and answered thousand
- 14:00kinds to be like them in the fields of autumn. I stayed in the
- 14:05temple for seven days, but could think of nothing but the road to the
- 14:09east. I prayed to the Buddha, saying, there is no way to
- 14:13change the present, but grant that we may meet again peacefully after this parting.
- 14:18And I thought the Buddha would pity in grant my prayer. It was
- 14:24midwinter. It rained all day. In the night a cloud turning wind but
- 14:28terribly, and the sky cleared. The moon became exquisitely bright, and it
- 14:33was sought to see the tall weeds near the house broken and blown down by
- 14:37the wind. Dead stalks of reeds must be reminded of good autumn days.
- 14:45In midwinter depths, the tempest lays them low, confused and broken. A
- 14:52messenger arrived from the east, father's letter. I wandered through the province,
- 14:58going into every shinto shrine, and saw a wide filled with a beautiful river
- 15:03running through it. There was a beautiful wood. My first thought was of
- 15:07you, and to make you see it, And I asked the name of
- 15:11that grove, the grove of longing after one's child was the answer. I
- 15:18thought of the one who had first named it, and was extremely sad.
- 15:22Alighting from my horse, I stood there for two hours after leaving. Like
- 15:30me, he must have yearned sorrowful to see the forest of longing after one's
- 15:35child. To see that letter is a sudder thing than to have seen the
- 15:41forest the grove of longing after one's child left. Father caressed mountain hard eastern
- 15:50way, the grove of longing after one's child. Hearing of it, I
- 15:56think of the father caress mountain towards it. Hard is the eastern way for
- 16:03a child left here alone. Thus I passed days in doing nothing, and
- 16:08I began to think of going to temples making pilgrimages. Mother was a person
- 16:14of extremely antiquated mind. She said, oh, dreadful is the hat you
- 16:18said, temple? What should you do if you were caught by some one
- 16:22at the narrow ascent? Ishi Yama too said, ki Yama pass is very
- 16:29dreadful. Kuramasan, Oh dreadful to bring you there? You may go there
- 16:33when father comes back, as mother says, So, I can only go
- 16:40to kiyomidyu. Temple. My old habits of romantic indulgence were not dead yet,
- 16:45and I could not fix my mind on religious thoughts. As I owed
- 16:49in the equinoctial week, there was a great tumult of festival, so great
- 16:55a noise that I was even afraid of it. And when I lay asleep,
- 17:00I dreamt there was a priest within the enclosure before the altar, in
- 17:03blue garments, with loose brocade hood and brocade shoes. He seemed to be
- 17:08the intendant of the temple. You, being occupied with vain thoughts, are
- 17:15not praying for happiness in the world to come, he said indignantly, and
- 17:19went behind the curtain. I awoke, startled, yet neither told any one
- 17:25what I had dreamt, nor thought about it much. My mother had two
- 17:30one foot in diameter bronze mirrors cast, and made a priest take them for
- 17:34us to the hutchus a temple. Mother told the priest to pass two or
- 17:38three days in the temple, especially praying that a dream might be vouchsafed about
- 17:44the future state of the women. For that period I was made to observe
- 17:48religious purity. The priest came back to tell the following I was reluctant to
- 17:53return without having even a dream, And after bowing many times and performing other
- 18:00ceremonies, I went to sleep. There came out from behind the curtain,
- 18:03a graceful holy lady in beautiful garments. She, taking up the offered mirrors,
- 18:11asked me if no letters were affixed to these mirrors. I answered,
- 18:15in the most respectful manner, there were no letters. I was told only
- 18:19to offer these strange She said, letters are to be added. See what
- 18:26is mirrored in one? It creates pity to look at it. I saw
- 18:30her weep bitterly, and so appear in the mirror shadows of people rolling over
- 18:34in lamentation. To see these shadows makes one sad, but to see this
- 18:41makes one happy. And she held up the other mirror. There the missu
- 18:45was fresh green, and many colored garments were revealed below the lower edge of
- 18:49it. Plum and cherry blossoms were in flower. Nightingales were singing from tree
- 18:56to tree. I did not even listen to his story, nor questioned him
- 19:00as to how things seemed in his dream. Someone said, pray to the
- 19:04heavenly illuminating honored Goddess, And my reverend mind thought, where is she is
- 19:11she a goddess or a Buddha. At first I said so, but afterwards
- 19:15grew more discreet and asked someone about her, who replied, she is a
- 19:21goddess and takes up her abode at Isse. The goddess is also worshiped by
- 19:26the provincial governor of Quai. She is worshiped at the Ancestor Shrine in the
- 19:30Imperial Court. I could not, by any means get to is. How
- 19:36could I bow before the Imperial shrine? I could never be allowed to go
- 19:41there. The idea flowed through my mind to pray for the heavenly light.
- 19:45A relative of mine became a nun and entered the Sugaku temple in winter.
- 19:51I sent her a poem, Even tears arise for your sake when I think
- 19:56of the mountain hamlet, where snow storms will be raging. Reply, I
- 20:02seemed to have a glimpse of you coming to me through the dark wood,
- 20:04when close overhead is summer's growth of leaves. Ten thirty six, Father,
- 20:11who had gone down towards the east, came back at last. He settled
- 20:17down at Nishiyama, and we all went there. We were very happy.
- 20:22One moon, bright night, we talked all the night. Through such nights
- 20:26as this exist, as if it were for eternity. I parted from you,
- 20:32how sad was that autumn? At this Father shed tears of happiness abundantly
- 20:37and answered me with a poem. But life grows dear and is lived with
- 20:42rejoicing, which once was born with hate and lamentation. My joy knew no
- 20:49bounds when my waiting was at an end after the supposed parting for eternity.
- 20:55Yet my father said, it is ridiculous to lead a worldly life when one
- 20:59is very old. I used to feel so when I saw old men,
- 21:03But now it is my turn to be old, so I will retire from
- 21:07social life. As he said it, with no lingering affection for this world,
- 21:12I felt quite alone. Towards the east, the fields stretched far and
- 21:18wide, and I could see clearly from Mount Hille to Mountainari. Towards the
- 21:26west, the pines of the forest of Narrabigaoca were sounding in my ear,
- 21:32and up to the table land on which our house stood, the rise fields
- 21:37were cultivated in terraces, while from them came the sound of the birds carrying
- 21:41clappers, giving me a homely country sentiment. One moonlight evening, I had
- 21:48a message from an old acquaintance who had had an opportunity to send to me,
- 21:53and this I sent back. None calls upon me, or remembers me
- 22:00in my mountain village, on their reeds by the thin hedge the autumn windsor
- 22:04sighing ten thirty seven. In the tenth month, we changed our abode to
- 22:11the Capitol. Mother had become a nun, and although she lived in the
- 22:15same house, shut herself up in a separate chamber. Father rather treated me
- 22:22as an independent woman than as his child. I felt helpless to see him
- 22:26shinning all society and living hidden in the shade. A person who had heard
- 22:32about me through a distant relative called me to her, saying it would be
- 22:37better to be with her than passing idle lonely days. My old fashioned parents
- 22:41thought the court life would be very unpleasant and wanted me to pass my time
- 22:45at home. But others said, people now days go out as ladies in
- 22:51waiting at the court, and then fortunate opportunities for marriage are naturally numerous,
- 22:56why not try it? So I was sent to the court against my will.
- 23:02I went for one night. The first time I was dressed in an
- 23:06eightfold tou chiegy of deep and pale chrysanthemum colors, and over it I wore
- 23:11the outer flowing robe of deep red silk. As I have said before,
- 23:15my mind was absorbed in romances, and I had no important relatives from whom
- 23:19I could learn distinguished manners or court customs. So except from the romances,
- 23:25I could not know them. I had always been in the shadow of the
- 23:29antiquated parents, and had been accustomed not to go out but to see moon
- 23:33and flowers. So when I left home, I felt as if I were
- 23:37not I, nor was it the real world to which I was going.
- 23:41I started in the early morning. I had often fancied in my countryfied mind
- 23:47that I should hear more interesting things for my heart's consolation than were to be
- 23:52found living fixed in my parents house. I felt awkward in court, in
- 23:56everything I did, and I thought it sad, But there was there's no
- 24:00use in complaining. I remembered with grief my nieces who had lost their mother
- 24:04and had been cared for by me alone, even sleeping at night, one
- 24:08on either side of me. Days were spent in musing with a vacant mind.
- 24:14I felt as if some one were always spying upon me, and I
- 24:18was embarrassed. After ten days or so, I got leave to go out.
- 24:23Father and mother were waiting for me with a comfortable fire in a brazier.
- 24:27Seeing me getting out of my palanquin, my niece said, when you
- 24:33were with us, people came to see us. But now no one's voice
- 24:37is heard, no one's shadow falls before the house. We are very low
- 24:41spirited. What can you do for us who must pass days like this?
- 24:45It was pitiful to see them cry when they said it. The next morning,
- 24:49they sat before me, saying, as you were here, many persons
- 24:53are coming and going. It seems livelier. Tears came to my eyes.
- 25:00Think what virtue I could have that my little nieces made so much of me.
- 25:04It would be very difficult even for a saint to dream of his prenatal
- 25:08life. Yet, when I was before the altar of the Kiomija temple,
- 25:14in a faintly dreamy state of mind, which was neither sleeping nor waking,
- 25:18I saw a man who seemed to be the head of the temple. He
- 25:22came out and said to me, you were once a priest of this temple,
- 25:26and you were born into a better state by virtue of the many Buddhist
- 25:30images which you carved as a Buddhist artist. The Buddha seventeen feet high,
- 25:36which is enthroned in the eastern side of the temple, was your work.
- 25:41When you were in the act of covering it with gold foil, you died,
- 25:45Oh, undeservedly blessed, I said, I will finish it. Then
- 25:49the priest replied, as you died, another man covered it and performed the
- 25:55ceremony of offerings. I came to myself and thought, if I say with
- 26:00all my heart the Buddha of the key of Mitu Temple by virtue of my
- 26:03prayers in this temple in the previous life. In the finishing month, I
- 26:08went again to the court. A room was assigned for my use. I
- 26:12went to the princess's apartment every night and lay down among unknown persons, so
- 26:18I could not sleep at all. I was bashful and timid, and wept
- 26:22in secret. In the morning, I retired while it was still dark,
- 26:26and passed the days in longing for a home where my old and weak parents,
- 26:30making much of me, relied upon me as if I were worthy of
- 26:34it. I yearned for them and felt very lonely, unfortunate, deplorable and
- 26:40helpless mind that was graven into my thought, And although I had to perform
- 26:45my duty faithfully, I could not always wait upon the princess. She seemed
- 26:51not to guess what was in my heart, and attributing it only to shyness,
- 26:56favored me by summoning me often from among the other ladies. She used
- 27:00to say, call the younger ladies, and I was dragged out in spite
- 27:04of myself. Those who were familiar with the court life seemed to be at
- 27:10home there, but I, who was not very young yet did not wish
- 27:14to be counted among the elderly, was rather neglected and made to usher guests.
- 27:19However, I did not expect too much of court life, and had
- 27:23no envy for those who were more graceful than I. This, on the
- 27:26contrary, set me at ease, and I from time to time presented myself
- 27:32before the princes and talked only with congenial friends about lovely things, even on
- 27:37smile presenting interesting occasions. I shrank from intruding and becoming too popular, and
- 27:45did not go far into most things. Sleeping one night before the princess,
- 27:49I was awakened by cries and fluttering noises from the water fowl in the pond.
- 27:55Like as the water fowl pass all the night in floating sleep, they
- 27:59seemed to be weary with shaking away the frost from their feathers. My companions
- 28:04passed their leisure time in talking over romances with the door open which separated our
- 28:10rooms, and they often called back. One who had gone to the prince's
- 28:14apartment. She sent word once, I will go if I must, intending
- 28:18to give herself the pleasure of coming. The long leaves of the reed are
- 28:23easily bent, so I will not forcibly persuade it, but leave it to
- 28:27the wind. In this way we passed the hours talking idly. Afterwards,
- 28:33this lady separated from the court and left us. She remembered that night and
- 28:38sent me word that moonless, flowerless winter night. It penetrates my thought and
- 28:45makes me dwell on it. I wonder why it touched my heart, for
- 28:49I also was thinking of that night in my dreams. The tears of that
- 28:53cold night are still frozen, But this I weep away secretly. The princess
- 29:00still called my stepmother by the name of Kazusa, Governor's lady. Father was
- 29:06displeased that that name was still used after she had become another man's wife,
- 29:10and he made me write to her about it. The name of Asakura in
- 29:15a far off country. The court now hears it in a divine dun song.
- 29:21My name also is still somewhere heard, but not honorably. One very
- 29:26bright night after the full moon, I attended the princess to the Imperial Palace.
- 29:30I remember that the heaven illuminating goddess was enthroned within, and wanted to
- 29:36take an opportunity to kneel before the altar. One moon bright night, I
- 29:41went in privately, for I know Lady Hakaseah, who was taking care of
- 29:45the shrine. The perpetual lights before the altar burnt dimly, she grew wondrously
- 29:52old and holy. She seemed not like a mortal, but like a divine
- 29:56incarnation. Yet she spoke very gracefully. The moon was very bright on the
- 30:02following night, and the princesses ladies passed the time in talking and moon gazing.
- 30:07Opening the doors of the Fujisubo, the footsteps of the Royal Consort of
- 30:11Fumsubo, going up to the King's apartment were so exquisitely graceful as to excite
- 30:17envy. Had the late Queen been living, she could not walk so grandly.
- 30:22Some one said, I composed a poem. She is like the moon,
- 30:27who, opening the gate of heaven, goes up over the clouds.
- 30:32We, being in the same heavenly palace, passed the night in remembering the
- 30:37footfalls of the past. The ladies who were charged with the duty of introducing
- 30:41the court nobles seemed to have been fixed upon, and nobody notices whether simple
- 30:48hearted country women like me exist or not. On a very dark night in
- 30:52the beginning of the God's absent month, when sweet voiced reciters were to read
- 30:56sutras throughout the night, and another lady and I went out towards the entrance
- 31:02door of the audience room to listen to it, and after talking, fell
- 31:07asleep listening leaning when I noticed the gentleman had come to be received in audience
- 31:12by the princess. It is awkward to run away to our apartment. We
- 31:18will remain here. Let it be as it will, so said my companion,
- 31:22and I sat beside her listening. He spoke gently and quietly. There
- 31:27was nothing about him to be regretted. Who is the other lady? He
- 31:33asked of my friend, He said, nothing rude or amorous like other men,
- 31:37but talked delicately of the sad sweet things of the world, and many
- 31:41a phrase of his, with a strange power, enticed me into conversation.
- 31:48He wondered that there should have been in the court one who was a stranger
- 31:51to him and did not seem inclined to go away. Soon there was no
- 31:56starlight, and a gentle shower fell in the darkness. How lovely was its
- 32:00sound on the leaves. The more deeply beautiful is the night, he said,
- 32:07The full moonlight would be too dazzling. Discoursing about the beauties of spring
- 32:12and autumn, he continued, although every hour has its charm, pretty is
- 32:16the spring haze. Then the sky, being tranquil and overcast, the face
- 32:22of the moon is not too bright. It seems to be floating on a
- 32:25distant river. At such a time, the calm spring melody of the lute
- 32:30is exquisite. In autumn, on the other hand, the moon is very
- 32:35bright. Though there are mists trailing over the horizon. We can see things
- 32:39as clearly as if they were at hand. The sound of wind, the
- 32:44voices of insects, All sweet things seemed to melt together. When at such
- 32:50a time we listen to the autumnal music of the Kotto, we forget the
- 32:54spring. We think that is best. But the winter sky froze all over,
- 33:00magnificently cold, the snow covering the earth, and its light mingling with
- 33:06the moonshine. Then the notes of the hichiuiki vibrate on the air, and
- 33:10we forget spring and autumn. And he asked us which captivates your fancy?
- 33:16On which stays your mind? My companion answered in favor of autumn, and
- 33:22I, not being willing to imitate her, said, pale green night,
- 33:27and flowers all melting into one in the soft haze everywhere, the moon glimmering
- 33:32in the spring night, so I replied, And he, after repeating my
- 33:38poem to himself over and over, said, then you give up autumn after
- 33:44this, As long as I live, such a spring night shall be for
- 33:47me a memento of your personality. The person who favored autumn said, others
- 33:53seemed to give their hearts to spring, and I shall be alone gazing at
- 33:59the autumn moon. He was deeply interested in being uncertain in thought, said,
- 34:05even the poets of the Tank Empire could not decide which to praise most
- 34:09spring or autumn. Your decisions make me think that there must be some personal
- 34:15reasons. When our inclination is touched or charmed, our souls are imbued with
- 34:21the colors of the sky, moon, or flowers of that moment. I
- 34:25desire much to know how you came to know the charms of spring and autumn.
- 34:30The moon of a winter night is given as an instance of dreariness,
- 34:35and as it is very cold. I had never seen it intentionally when I
- 34:38went down to is It to be present as the messenger of the king at
- 34:43the ceremony of installing the virgin in charge of the shrine. I wanted to
- 34:47come back in the early dawn, so went to take leave of the princes
- 34:52in a moon bright night after many days snow half shrinking to think of my
- 34:57journey. Her residence was another worldly place, awful even to the imagination.
- 35:02But she called me into an adequate apartment. There were persons in that room
- 35:07who had come down in the reign of the Emperor Anew. Their aspect was
- 35:12very holy, ancient and mystical. They told of the things of long ago.
- 35:16With tears, they brought out a well tuned forth stringked loot. The
- 35:22music did not seem to be anything happening in this world. I regretted that
- 35:27day should even dawn, and was touched so deeply that I had almost forgotten
- 35:31about returning to the capital. Ever since then, the snowy nights of winter
- 35:37recall that scene, and I without fail gaze at the moon, even though
- 35:42hugging the fire. You will surely understand me, And hereafter every dark night,
- 35:46with gentle rain will touch my heart. I feel this has not been
- 35:52inferior to the snowy night at the Palace of the Easy Virgin. With these
- 35:55words, he departed, and I thought he could not have known who I
- 35:59was. In the eighth month of the next year, we went again to
- 36:04the Imperial Palace, and there was in the court an entertainment throughout the night.
- 36:08I did not know that he was present at it, and I passed
- 36:12that night in my own room. When I looked out, opening the sliding
- 36:15doors on the corridor, I saw the morning moon, very faint and beautiful.
- 36:21I heard footsteps, and people approached, some reciting sutras. One of
- 36:27them came to the entrance and addressed me. I replied, and he,
- 36:30suddenly, remembering, exclaimed that night of softly falling rain I did not forget
- 36:37even for a moment. I yearned for it, as chance did not permit
- 36:42me many words. I said, what intensity of memory clings to your heart?
- 36:47That gentle shower fell on the leaves only for a moment our hearts touched?
- 36:53I had scarcely said so when people came up, and I stole back
- 36:58without his answer. That evening, after I had gone to my room,
- 37:01my companion came in to tell me that he had replied to my poem.
- 37:06If there be such a tranquil night as that of the rain, I should
- 37:09like in some way to make you listen to my lute playing all the songs
- 37:14I can remember. I wanted to hear it, and waited for the fit
- 37:17occasion, but there was none ever. End of Section two