Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E38 - The Re-Return of Dr. Rhinostein

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S2 E38 - The Re-Return of Dr. Rhinostein · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house, that is.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Johnny, thank you so much.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: And Jeff, what a pleasure to be back in the big studio and back with another show.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_05: It is.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_05: It's wonderful.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_05: And how are you doing, Steve?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_05: How's it going?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Been a fairly typical week, but I am so excited to look at part two of that Dr.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Reinustein episode.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because I, you know, I know in that episode that's where we saw the results of his work, the nose reveal.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_05: See, I don't remember enough about it, but I'm hoping that I'm gonna feel good about this and it's not gonna bring back nightmares.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_05: And for Dr.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_05: Reinstein, I don't know if he's gonna be watching or listening to this.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_05: I had heard that he is in Joliet uh performing.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_05: Did we even mention that maybe last week that he's performing surgeries in Joliet as an inmate?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_05: Is that what you heard?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: He's in he's not just in Joliet, he is in the prison in Joliet.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: He is at well, yes.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, he's uh not just in the city of Joliet walking around.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: He is in fact in Stateville, and they have TV there.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of depends if Days of Our Lives is on against our show.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: They may not be able to watch it, but you know, hey, could be, could be.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_05: So, yes, I am excited to listen to this again, to revisit it.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_05: In retrospect, I think we made some good decisions.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_05: I'm glad that we went Jennifer Aniston's nose instead of uh any other member of Friends like Joey.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_05: Uh that was important.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh you may as well have just kept your nose.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: I mean Joey's nose.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, come on, new, dude, no, no, no.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, you definitely made the right choice.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: I know that you have said often that self-improvement is very important to you.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I I've always said really, but you have said that self-improvement is very important to you.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I know you were talking about doing other types of surgery.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: Have you done any other or looked into having other types of surgery done after this nose job?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let me clarify here.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_05: Self-improvement, when I define that, when I when I say that, what I'm really talking about is paying for procedures to be improved.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not talking about like running a marathon or exercise or taking classes in computer science, that kind of shit.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_05: I'm talking about just buying my way into being better.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you're not looking for the internal growth, the interior man.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: You're looking for something you can buy to slap on the exterior man.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_05: I think that's the most important part, don't you, Steve?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, it is the part you can see the inside of you.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_05: Well, that's exactly right to the outside.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: It is the part people see.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so, hey, to say that's not important would be would be wrong, would be not accurate.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_05: When you're asking me, are there things that I've considered doing, they're pretty obvious.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_05: I think you could probably guess.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I could come up with several things.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean, they're they're right right in front of you.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_05: There you go.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_05: That's right.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_05: Plain is the nose on your face.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, in addition to the nose on my face.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_05: One of them, of course, uh is the hair transplant.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, you know, and I and I was thinking maybe I could get a a discount if if they use the hair off my back.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they probably could, assuming that they could gestate that in the scalp.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: See, I don't know.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: There might be subtle skin differences between the scalp and the back, where back hair won't grow on the head, head hair won't grow on the back.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't know.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's not an exact science.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, it's not.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm interested in that leg extenders.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: This is something that I've you know, my whole life I've wanted uh wanted to be taller, like you, Steve.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_05: You're yeah, kind of a hero.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and then of course, and then of course, butt tighteners because butt tighteners, yeah, but tighteners, but tighteners, but tighteners because I want people to see me, you know, when I come towards them, I want them to see the big head of hair, the how tall I am.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_05: But when I'm leaving them, I also want them to check out my ass.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's legit.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's a legit concern.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's so much more important than building the internal man, the interior man, the interior growth.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, they would have to talk to you for hours to understand, you know, your philosophical views.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I don't have any of those anyway.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_05: Well, right, right, you know, yeah, but the reason I haven't had any of that done is because I don't know if those things really work.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_05: Because if they worked, I'm assuming everybody would have had them.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_05: But there are still bald people who are short, who have, you know, floppy asses.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know how what the term, the official term is for that, but it doesn't look like a lot of people are doing it.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm a little concerned that it may not be that I could get ripped off or that it wouldn't work.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I haven't had a biology or anatomy class since sophomore year in high school, but I think the correct medical term is flop butt.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: As I remember, I think that is it.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you are so right though, you do have to be careful with the surgeries, and you really have to be careful because a lot of oh, a lot of people tell horror stories about surgeries that went wrong, and and they were just forced to take all kinds of drugs to to try to counteract it, and they got and even worse, they got hit with costs, their insurance wouldn't cover it, and oh it's it's a mess.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: What did you do?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_05: Well, you're kind of bearing the lead if they if if they do a lot of drugs, I'm kind of in for that.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_05: But interestingly enough, Steve, I did have something done, and it was at the top of my bucket list just to kind of spit it out.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know any other way to say it.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe spitting it out is not the right thing to be spot, the right terminology, but no, it may it may not be, but I got my member enlarged.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um some would call it a penis or when you said member or uh when you said member, I thought you have a club and you've got more members now.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that oh, oh that.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, of all the enhancements that you've considered, I would think that one is really expensive and and probably pretty risky.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's risking, it's a very high-risk area.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and the traditional ways that you that you generally do it, I mean, everyone's seen those billboards, you know, at two in the morning.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_05: They've watched, yeah, you know, when whenever there's like porn on or whatever, and then they go to the commercials and they talk about take these pills.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_05: And if you take these pills, you know, your penis will be so much larger.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, you know, in fact, there's a billboard on the Dan Ryan that is so graphic, they had to put two billboards together just to show the enlargement.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's really pretty amazing.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_05: Why is it and Kathy always says to me, Why are we taking the Dan Ryan all the time?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we don't even live anywhere near.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: What are we doing?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_05: We're not even going in that direction, so yeah, you have to be careful.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_05: The side effects are really bad, but I had it done, but I wasn't gonna do the pills.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, the pills were too dangerous.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: I heard that the surgery though is it's risky, but if it works, it's it's pretty effective, the way I understand it, right?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and I would have it done by a licensed doctor like Dr.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_05: Rhino, but he's you know, in he's he's not available for the next five to ten.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_05: I don't think I want to trust it with the stranger, and and it would be very costly.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: It strikes me that having that kind of surgery with a stranger is kind of like random, unprotected sex with with strangers, you know.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_05: It's just again again, Steve, you're trying to sell me on this and you're doing a pretty good job.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_05: You're painting a good picture, but not that there's anything wrong with that, you know.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_05: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_05: But yes, I had something done, and I also didn't want to pay a ton of money, you know.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna pay a lot of money and have somebody inflict pain on me.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I will, but not a lot of money, right?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_05: You know, some money.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, so I did have something done and I avoided the top two most popular ways to do it.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I'm dying to hear about it because I, you know, I'm I'm always thinking about maybe I could use another inch or six.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: Uh Steve, I'm not saying you knew.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_05: I actually haven't looked lately to see if you do.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um and that's very subjective, you know.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_05: Steve, it is, yeah, it is, you know, one man's ceiling's another man's floor, right?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_05: One man's six is another man's twelve.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_05: One man's brats is another man's uh cocktail wiener.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_05: You got it, yeah.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_05: But I did have it done, and you're gonna be shocked to hear this.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_05: But instead of paying thousands of dollars, tons of pills, painful surgery, it only cost$9.99.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_05: And it was completely painless, non-invasive, and it was reversible, which is the best part because it's not that I would reverse it, but if I wanted to add to it, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I could do that.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_05: But and for 10 bucks, what do you have to lose?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_05: And what do you have to gain?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_05: I think we know what oh, yeah, absolutely.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: So you sent it in and they and they sent you what'd they send you?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: They sent me a magnifying glass.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, I bet I bet that would work for me too, you know.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, I bet a lot of guys in our audience would benefit from that magnifying glass.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're looking for merch.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: That could be the Stephen Jeff magnifying glass.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_05: I think you're right, and it's not just for men, I think there's applications all over the place.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_05: Men could use them with women or women could use them on men.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_05: Because a lot of guys, I think I think we know that a lot of guys think they're large, you know, or large enough.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_05: And so maybe the woman, the the wife or the girlfriend, she should buy it, and then she can just use it without having to convince her man that he needs to hold it up so she could do it herself.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, exactly.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we don't need to limit this magnifying glass to the male member.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it could be used for all kinds of different things.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_05: Now you're heading in the right direction.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_05: What do you what do you have in mind?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like reading newspapers or you know, if you don't feel like putting your glasses on, you got to read a prescription label, you know, it says may cause drowsiness, may cause nearsightedness.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, whatever.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just it it could really have a ton of uses.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_05: I think that's a good idea.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sure there's lots of applications for it.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_05: I I don't know if magnifying glasses were created originally as penis enlargers.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_05: So I whatever those original.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, they might have been.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure they were because they predate the printing press.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: The Gutenberg press was well after the first magnifying glass.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: And we know that because there was fire before there was a printing press, and fire was started with a magnifying glass on dry grass.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone knows that.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, just speaking of procedures that make you look better.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we do have this show where your beautiful new nose is revealed.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was a great experience.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was a while back, I've forgotten some of it.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: I maybe let's let's give it a listen.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I just realized I'm holding this magnifying glass up right now, and I don't think I want to do that when we're looking at noses.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_05: That could be even scarier or bring back bad memories.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, yes, no, no, no.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's the whole point of the surgery.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: So put those down.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, put the put the glass down.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: All right, okay.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Johnny, give us that nose reveal episode.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: We are getting so many fans.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: My phone's been ringing off the hook.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's ringing, it's ringing right now.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you can hear it.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, it's it's collection agencies, but but the phone's ringing.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's the point.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: The phone is ringing, and I'm getting a lot of mail from you know the same people.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: But it's I think we're a phenomenon, Jeff.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_04: Why did you say Steve?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_04: I can't hear you because I'm covered with this mask.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_04: But I think you said something about you went to Florida.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's in the future.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: I went to Florida, but we'll we'll we'll talk about my experience here.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: I brought you something back from the future, but oh good, good, okay.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Those of you that have been following the podcast know uh Jeff had some plastic surgery.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff had a nose job, a rhinoplasty, I think that is called.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: And we don't really know how it turned out.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: We've got Jeff is still in the bandages, but Jeff, we have a special guest tonight.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: Would you like to introduce your guest?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Or should I I can introduce him if it's too much with the bandages and all?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_04: Can you do that for me?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: I can't really see him or her.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I I'm I'll be surprised too.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff just recently had his surgery uh at a red roof in here in uh suburban Omaha and was in a medically seduced coma, which I think you're you're mostly out of, it seems like I remember that.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_04: I remember, yes, I've been out for a while.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: And we have in our studio, right through that glass, and I probably can't see him, but he's right over there.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: We have in our studio Dr.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Will Rhinostein, who is the surgeon who did your did your nose job.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein, welcome back.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, thank you.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I I appreciate you taking the time to to talk to me and and and giving me the chance to explain.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you did such a wonderful job, we think, on his nose, and and we just wanted to have you on when he takes those bandages off.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's really where the the rubber meets the road, if you know what I mean.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it was mostly plastic, but I want you to know that I I did my very best.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am, after all, only a human, and my efforts were were Herculean, but the results are what they are.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and Doctor, before we get to Jeff's nose, I gotta ask you.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, since you've been on our podcast a couple weeks ago, have you noticed people stopping you on the street saying, Oh, you must be Dr.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Will Reinerstein?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: Has your business picked up?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: But more people called to have plastic surgery?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, uh, yes, yes.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Many, many have called.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they asked about the surgery.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I didn't tell them very much, you know, because I don't want to reduce possible business, but I told them I put in every effort.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I really want you to know that I I did what I could.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_04: Uh uh, Dr.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: Will, I want to apologize because I was one of the people who called you and I had forgot you had already done my surgery.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_04: I I thought I was supposed to call you to set it up, but turns out you already did the surgery.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_04: So I apologize for that.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we gave you a very good cocktail of drugs.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: That that I can say.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can say with uh confidence you got the best cocktail of of drugs that we had available.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: I like when you do twilight drugs, you do twilight drugs.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, I do it it almost went from twilight to midnight, but we made it back.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I was gonna say he's uh he's still kind of uh sunset over there, I think.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: But Jeff, I don't know if you're ready.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready to reveal what the nose looks like to our listening audience who, of course, can't see this, but we can describe it.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_04: You want me to set up doctor?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we did a um subduranial incision and then a um removal and uh replacement of uh various uh sinus and uh non-sinus tissue, and then we reconstructed it the very best we could.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: We were working off various various models and uh drawings and sculptures, and um, I did I did I really did do what I could.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: And and there will be some residual swelling, so don't don't assume what you see is is all there is.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it may get better over time.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and doctor, wouldn't it be fair to say that you're somewhat limited by the material that you have to work with?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm only one man.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and this is only one nose, however big, it's only one nose, right?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: As a conservationist and environmentalist, I tried to use the best recycled plastics I could find.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, Jeff, you're ready to show us here in the studio uh and all those listener show those listeners at home uh what your nose looks like.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, Jeff.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I gotta tell you, Doctor, that's an amazing nose.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, you look like Jennifer Aniston.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do like it.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, I could see.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Jeff, I think really to complete the look, and doctor, maybe you could help him with this.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Could you can you get a Rachel haircut?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: Now you'd need a transplant.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I could do that, it would take quite a lot of time.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're you're better off just finding a uh a good wig maker, but you know, it it actually turned out better than I thought it would.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, Dr.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_05: Will, I think it looks fine, except there's a lot of swelling, and in some ways it looks bigger than it did before you did the surgery.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_05: Is that normal?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh was that not what you requested?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_05: No, I didn't want it bigger, I wanted it smaller.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, he gave you Jennifer Aniston's old nose, not her new nose.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_05: I guess did you take my old one away or did you just put it on top of it?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: As I said, I I use the best in recycled plastics.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: I um injected and incisionated and uh definitely did um a very good quality job.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I I can't say enough about how hard I tried.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Steve, you think looks okay?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it it you know it does.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: I got a question though, Doctor.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think his face will adapt to the new nose, will grow to fit the new nose, kind of like like a graph where it changes the tissue around it.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And and and I I think I prescribed extra pudding uh for the duration of his life.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: So uh I think that should help also.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's always been a big fan of pudding.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: I me too.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I do have a question.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, this is just one I've been wondering about for the last couple days.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_05: When I woke up, it appeared as though there were crumbs on my stomach and there was dried yogurt on my thighs.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm just wondering because I how many days was I out?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_05: I was out like five, six days.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_05: Is that normal to to have that kind of stuff on my body after surgery like that?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh, absolutely, absolutely.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: It is the operating table, but you know, it is a multifunction table, and um that was probably more Tzeki than uh than yogurt.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so you guys have some Euros, guys are eating Euros in the operating room, that's kind of cool.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: We try to keep it interesting, yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: Always a big fan of Euros, too.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, very good.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I just gotta ask now since you gave him Jennifer Anderson's old nose, his old nose is somewhere, right?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: Where does that go?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: What do you do with that?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well, we'll we we will preserve it for the time being, and then um when someone requests a nose uh that fits his description, we will uh then transplant that and that that nose will then go on to another patient.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: And um it's it's um it's like a it's like a shell game around the world.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, that's interesting.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: When somebody else gets his nose, will they somehow, I don't know, be able to talk to him or have a sense of him?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, it's called the sixth nose sense.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, six nose.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know about that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, or phantom smelling, yes.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_05: Well that I oh I feel that already, and I was wondering where that came from.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_05: I'm glad that Steve asked.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_05: I'm uh interested in you know, wearing it and using it.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_05: One other question I had, Steve mentioned that I don't look like Jennifer because I'm bald, and that it takes a little bit of a leap of being your imagination to to kind of see that.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_05: But the one place where I'm growing a lot of hair was in my nostrils, and I know uh every time I would go to like to get my hair cut, they would they would trim my nostrils and a lot of hair there.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_05: When you were removing my nostrils, my old nostrils, any way that you could transplant the hairs within my nose to my head.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, and and we have several financing options for that.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you can take out a reverse mortgage or a um more or a more predatory mortgage, and um just and we can work on the hair transplant.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: We can we can move hair from all different parts of your body to your head, and we can we do it in little sections, and the the patches will be consistent.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna take a lot of hair to really restore.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, for a rachel on him, it's gonna take it's a pretty big job.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, Doctor, speaking of financial, has Jeff paid you yet?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's that's that's a matter that I I don't like to discuss publicly, but no, no, he's not.
• 20:15
  unknown: Okay.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_05: I I don't I don't really remember.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_05: I thought I had, I thought I paid somebody.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_05: I know that my wallet was gone when I when I woke up from the surgery.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_05: I thought maybe maybe you or one of the uh people working at the red roof, you know, maybe you maybe you took your fee because I know I was out for a number of days, but you're saying you didn't get paid?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: No, we we just took enough for the euros.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_05: Ah okay, yeah, well, that makes sense.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you gotta, I mean, you can't operate on an empty stomach.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, Jeff, I may have something that'll help you with that medical bill because we got a new sponsor.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Good, and you know who you know who that sponsor is?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_05: It is is it Jennifer Aniston?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you're close.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: It is Dr.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: Will Rhinostein.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: He's gonna have to heard of him.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know how like an old television, early television, they would have like the people in the show would actually do the commercial, like as almost as like part of the show.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: They just like act it out.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna do that here.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: He's gonna do the commercial right here in the studio, right now.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I can't wait.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh, so doctor, if you're ready, let's go to commercial.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, I'm plastic surgeon Will, Dr.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Will Rhinostein, and I make you look better.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let's face it, good looking people have more fun, they have better-looking friends, they get better tables in restaurants.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a fact.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, why not be good looking?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: I can get you a table by the window, whether you need a new nose, fall or love handles, or one of the many designer handcrafted breast documentation.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Eight out of ten Rhinostein patients are no longer upset about their plastic surgery.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Need more than one thing done to make you look better?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: With the Rhinostein bundle, you can have as many changes as you can stand for one price, which some consider low.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you can have confidence in my work.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I graduated near the top of my master's in fine arts class.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Many say that I put the arts in surgical arts.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was accepted into the American Board of Surgery for a while, and I was the first one to take grafting beyond skin into money.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of money, don't worry about it.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I accept any insurance that accepts me.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I can provide easy financing at non-competitive rates with uh User's Bank of New Jersey.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Certain conditions may apply.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: So make the decision to have that excision.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Lose those wrinkles.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Get the nose of your favorite celebrity or the entire face of your face off procedure.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: But don't take my word for it.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to the unsolicited testimony from an actual nose job patient.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, who could argue with that?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Call today and get an appointment in three years.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: That I'll tell you, Jeff, you know, we run enough of those commercials.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: We'd probably have to run a few thousand of those commercials, but I think we can.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think we can if the podcast lasts long enough.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: I agree.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I'm starting to kind of like the nose.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_05: I have to be honest.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_05: It's starting to sort of wear well on me.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_05: I'm feeling a little more comfortable with it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it looks good.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: It looks good.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's I'm I'm thinking I'm, you know, I'm I'm almost thinking that maybe I'd like to get one of those face-off things.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know we we talked about that in your last your last appearance on the show.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: We talked a little bit about the face-off.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, this Jennifer Anison knows is could I get like a like a David Schwimmer face or Matthew Perry?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: Matthew Perry, because all those quizzes say that I should be Chandler.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I can get a like a Matthew Perry face.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's certainly possible.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: You can't say he's using his too much these days.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: No, well, cool.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_05: I think it would be great.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_05: We would have this kind of friends thing going.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_05: You know, the only thing I would be concerned about is we don't want another talk show podcast person to, you know, switch faces with you.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I'm not gonna name names, but the last thing I'd want to do is to walk into the the studio and see somebody that doesn't really, you know, who's not funny, who's who's who's popular now but won't be popular soon, and doesn't, you know, makes more money than us, but won't in the future.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_05: I don't want to see that.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, though, think about this.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: That that could be fun because if I had his face, people might think this is his podcast, and we'd get big sponsors.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, you turned me completely around on that.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: Doc, maybe we're on to something here.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you you could you could get all kinds of sponsors, like um, and I and I I I do sell some products that I could spot, um, diet pills, um pills for other mail enhancement, um pills that make you feel like a rhinoceros.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's a variety of pills that we could we could uh have shipped in from China and sold on your podcast.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, and uh doctor, do you sell that Twilight cocktail we were talking about a few minutes ago?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, yes, but no money back guarantee.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't think I'll need a guarantee on that one.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds pretty good.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_05: And Steve brought up a good point, you know.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_05: Doctor, I'm feeling pretty good.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_05: It's been a few days, but the truth is I maybe the worst of my pain is gone, but I think there's still some there.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_05: Is it possible I could get a renewal on that prescription at least for the next oh 60 days or so?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_05: Good.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and I I guess I should ask too, doctor, is there is there a warranty to your work?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, is there any kind of you know, 100,000 mile guarantee or anything like that?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's an excellent question.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: I am glad you asked that.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is no.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, okay, okay.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's fair.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Doc, I gotta ask you, you know, since we're we're talking about Jennifer Aniston's nose, I I gotta ask, what's your favorite Jennifer Aniston movie of these three?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is it Horrible Bosses?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: Is it Horrible Bosses Two or Friends, the reunion movie?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's that's a that's a very interesting question.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: And even though I haven't seen them, I will go ahead and say Horrible Bosses 2 is my favorite.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: That is the popular favorite.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: It may seem seem like an odd question, but I'll tell you which movie you pick determines your personality.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's or reveals, I should say, your personality.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's already been determined, I suppose, but it reveals your personality.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: So that's that's absolutely and that does seem to be the popular favorite.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and to be honest, I interviewed a few other people for the surgery, and uh most of them picked the first horrible bosses movie.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_05: And I knew that Dr.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_05: Reinerstein was the guy with you know, he's got good taste, and that's what I want.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_05: I want somebody with good taste.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you know, I gotta tell you, because you know I I'm from the future, I came here from the future, right?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: And you chose wisely because some of those guys aren't gonna be around much longer, but Dr.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein has a great future ahead of him.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: You just trust me, I've seen it.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen it, doctor.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: You're you're gonna do great.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna do great.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm glad to hear that.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: And and Jeff, I am so happy that that nose is growing on you.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: Not too much though.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's uh that would be bad.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Looks like it's already grown a little, I think.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, oh god, do you think?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm sure it'll be fine.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_05: I'm glad you have a sense of humor since I haven't paid you yet.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff, that was quite an experience, and you know, it looks like everything came out fine.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm looking at your nose right now.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: It looks it looks good.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's better than I thought.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_05: And yes, there's been some adjustments that had to be made along the way, but for the most part, I mean the price was right, you know, it's Red Roof and it was free.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_05: Well, it wasn't free, but we didn't pay for it.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_05: So I guess it is free.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's effectively free.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was it was an add-on.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like the coffee maker that they include.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, this was an add-on, but hey, if you don't pay for the add-on, it's free, right?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_05: For those who have watched this episode and say to themselves, I I need a nose job.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_05: I just want to, you know, warn you ahead of time there.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_05: There are occasional follow-up procedures that are not covered under the free category that uh that are occasionally so you have to read the fine print on that.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_05: But yes, I'm I'm pleased with it.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_05: I enjoyed listening to it, and I kind of like my nose, and it's maybe a little too large, but oh this is the magnifying glass.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_05: So put that thing down.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: At this point in the show, we usually have Johnny tell us what gifts are we're gonna give to the guest.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, as we talked about last time, we can't give gifts to Dr.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein, who's in Stateville, Stateville prison.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: And Jeff, we'd give them to you, but hey, you just got all those beautiful, valuable prizes last week.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: I love them.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much, Steve.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I talked to our good friends on both sides at Farmer Brute because we had referenced placebox in our last show, and they said, you know, run an ad for placebox, and we will donate from every bottle of placebox that is sold from that commercial, we will donate three cents from every bottle to the prison commissary so that prisoners like Dr.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: Will Rannerstein and like really both of your dads can enjoy cigarettes and chewing gum and you know, razor blades and shivs and various other things they need in prison.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Johnny, play that placebox commercial.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, I can enjoy walks in the country again, thanks to Placebex.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: Placebex designed to make you feel better about any situation for any reason.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: I used to hate the morning commute coming out here and getting stuck.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: Now I love coming out here and just sitting.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's so relaxing.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Placebex designed to make you feel better about anything.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Placebex contains nothing that could be considered harmful.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, place contains nothing at all, other than cornstarch.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Placebex is designed to do absolutely nothing at all, while making you think that it is.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Any positive medical results are completely coincidental.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: Frequent or prolonged use could result in stupor, boredom, ignorance of reality, anti-vaccine ideation, belief that life was better in the 10th century, addiction to television, appreciation of Rick Astley recordings, and death.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do not use placebox if you are in a coma or expect to be.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: Some patients have gained weight and lost brain cells in clinical studies, not to be used by those with cornstarch allergies or who live in southern New Jersey, may cause drowsiness or not, has been linked to certain political ideas, but the makers of placebex make no specific candidate endorsements other than those we have previously bought under the provisions of federal election law.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: Do not use placebex if you are a methamphetamine user.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: Just don't.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Before placebox, I had pain all the time.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I just have pain most of the time.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: Placebox can be expensive, so ask your doctor about the placebox affordability program.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: It might make your placebox prescription as low as$350 a week.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I used to be an old and bitter man.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: I still am.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: But now I'm good with that.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, placebox.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Ask your doctor if placebox is right for you.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: Placebox, new from PharmaBrute.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: It does nothing, and sometimes nothing is exactly what you need.