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What If Power Is Something You Stop Giving Away · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:50
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way podcast.
0:56
Cassandra: And for those new listeners out there, I'm your host, and my name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
1:02
Cassandra: And also, for those new listeners that may not know, the name of my book is titled Is Your Way in Your Way.
1:11
Cassandra: It's a self-discovery guide for women on how to restore yourself, learn from your experiences so that you may be your true self again.
1:20
Cassandra: And we talk about topics related to what I say, uh self-improvement, empowerment, and also to give you an opportunity to reflect on some things that have occurred in your life.
1:32
Cassandra: And also, my prayer has always been that when someone listens to one of my podcasts, they'll all of a sudden pivot and say, you know what?
1:40
Cassandra: I'm gonna get out of my way and I'm gonna do something that I've always wanted to do.
1:44
Cassandra: And so today I have a special guest, and we're gonna talk about get unstuck by reclaiming your power.
1:53
Cassandra: But let me ask you this what if the reason you feel stuck isn't about fear, but because you gave away your power, you gave it away quill by quill.
2:04
Cassandra: So today's guests know exactly what that feels like.
2:08
Cassandra: Deborah Weed went from producing million-dollar shows for the world's biggest brands to being dead written by a devastating misdiagnosis.
2:18
Cassandra: But her story didn't end there.
2:21
Cassandra: Out of the ashes, she gave birth to Paisley the Musical, a heart contour, couture, Broadway spectacle that's now not just a show, but a call to reclaim your voice, your work, and your dreams.
2:37
Cassandra: If you ever felt like the world told you to stay small, stay silent, stay still, this episode will reignite that fire that you have.
2:48
Cassandra: So let's welcome the powerhouse, the creative visionary, and the spark behind the global self-worth revolution.
2:56
Cassandra: Deborah Weed.
2:58
Cassandra: Hi, Deborah.
2:59
Deborah: Hey, Cassandra, thank you so much.
3:01
Deborah: That was awesome.
3:02
Deborah: I was like, who was that?
3:03
Cassandra: Who is that?
3:03
Cassandra: I know who is that person?
3:05
Cassandra: That's right.
3:06
Cassandra: That's right.
3:07
Cassandra: Well, I am so happy that you're on the show, and I am looking forward to the insight that you're going to share.
3:14
Cassandra: And I'm certain there's some things about your story and how you overcame them, will resonate with many of my listeners, and that will enable them to, like I said, pivot and say, okay.
3:27
Cassandra: Now, I have well, let me, I want to read a little bit, just a little more about you, uh, because I think this is important.
3:35
Cassandra: Now, but instead of surrendering to your defeat, you reignited your inner spark and created Paisley, the musical, the Broadway bound heart couture production dares women to reclaim their creativity, their voice, and self-worth.
3:54
Cassandra: And we talked about your million-dollar production and how you are leading a global movement to help others recover the quills, the quills that they have given away, those symbols of identity, purpose, and power.
4:10
Cassandra: So your story is a living testimony of what happens when you stop dimming your light and start designing your own dreams.
4:19
Cassandra: Deborah, let me ask you, I want to know about your backstory a bit.
4:26
Cassandra: And I and because this information is going to parlay into what we're going to talk about, because I believe it was something in your backstory is the reason why you're doing things in this day and time.
4:42
Cassandra: So tell us a little about because you you staged the sticky bun bandits as a youth.
4:47
Cassandra: So that means something was going on.
4:49
Cassandra: Tell us about that.
4:51
Deborah: Yes.
4:51
Deborah: Well, first of all, if you can imagine, I was tremendously sensitive and an empath, as so many women are, or little girls are, right?
5:00
Deborah: So when I got older, I was like, I'm gonna go corporate.
5:04
Deborah: I am gonna go, I am gonna go show you.
5:07
Deborah: You call me sensitive, you have the audacity to call me sensitive.
5:13
Deborah: I'll show you.
5:14
Deborah: So I became the director of development for Citibank 19 branches and worked on a $26 million pavilion for Tejan Korea.
5:22
Deborah: But when I was there, Cassandra, in the corporate world, taking a sensitive soul and putting it over here, it didn't work.
5:33
Deborah: I didn't smile, I didn't smile at all.
5:37
Deborah: I I wore the corporate outfits and I had the attitude, but this is where my creativity started to call me back.
5:46
Cassandra: Well, let me let me ask you this before you go further.
5:48
Cassandra: When you were younger, who called you sensitive?
5:53
Cassandra: Like, where did that come from?
5:55
Deborah: Oh my gosh, everybody, every all my friends, my friends, because I was I was a natural social worker, I was that type of kid that just wanted to make sure that everybody was okay.
6:09
Deborah: And by doing that, it was perceived as sensitivity, and I, as a child at least, wanted to overcome what I thought was a weakness.
6:22
Deborah: Now I don't.
6:23
Deborah: Now I think it's power, all right.
6:24
Deborah: Power.
6:25
Deborah: But at the time it was like, let me get into corporate until I realized I'm an artist.
6:32
Deborah: I am an artist of in my soul.
6:36
Deborah: I love storytelling.
6:38
Deborah: My mother, this is kind of like um uh interesting factoid, one of the first people in Miami to have a talent agency.
6:48
Deborah: Oh.
6:49
Deborah: So ever since I was 16, I was always coming up with uh musicals, interactive theatrical things, murder mystery weekends.
7:01
Deborah: She would actually put them together, but I was the one creating them ever since I was young.
7:07
Cassandra: Wow.
7:07
Deborah: One of the things that that recreated with the Sticky Bun Bandits, which was one of my first productions that I ever did, was every single show or musical that I did for children was always for a reason.
7:23
Deborah: And the sticky bun bandits, the reason is I wanted to teach little kids about how what solutions meant.
7:31
Deborah: So every song, every action was to uh to really give them the idea that they could come up with a solution on their own and how empowering that would be.
7:46
Deborah: Talk about pivoting.
8:21
Deborah: Yes, talk about pivoting.
8:24
Deborah: I didn't even have a choice.
8:25
Deborah: I went from the top to having uh uh being misdiagnosed and in bed for three years, and that is what set me on a new course to find myself.
8:37
Deborah: I think if that hadn't happened, I would have probably stayed in the realm of corporate because I didn't know at that time period that there was a difference between self-esteem and self-worth.
8:51
Deborah: Self-esteem is like, wow, look, I'm the I'm the director of Citibank, 19 branches.
8:58
Deborah: Isn't that cool?
8:59
Deborah: But I'm always thinking about what I'm done or what I have to do, and that's what gives me the self-esteem.
9:08
Deborah: I learned in bed when you have nowhere to go, but just your creativity or thinking that self-worth is only something that I can say what I'm worth on my own.
9:23
Deborah: I'm the only one that can claim that.
9:25
Deborah: We always look on the outside for um evidence of who we are and validation, yeah.
9:31
Deborah: And yet it really is an inside job.
9:38
Cassandra: I like that.
9:39
Cassandra: Uh, so why does self-esteem?
9:42
Cassandra: We talked about self-esteem and self-worth, kind of it gets confusing.
9:48
Cassandra: So, why does it matter based on what you said?
9:52
Cassandra: Why does that matter?
9:53
Deborah: Oh my god, it really that's a great question.
9:56
Deborah: It really matters because as long as you're on the self-esteem train, right?
10:04
Deborah: You're you're trying to produce things, you're trying to you're trying to go sometimes.
10:10
Deborah: You're trying to go above and beyond who you even are.
10:13
Deborah: So you're you might not even be doing your soul's calling, you might be so interested in the self-esteem, so that you can say, look at what a good job I did or do that.
10:26
Deborah: You totally forget who you are.
10:29
Deborah: That's what okay.
10:31
Deborah: Self-worth, on the other hand, is going back to who you are naturally as a child.
10:38
Deborah: Okay.
10:39
Deborah: I being sensitive was an artist and a little social worker.
10:45
Deborah: I wanted to make sure everybody was okay.
10:47
Deborah: And here I'm on corporate, corporate.
10:50
Deborah: Now I was good, I was really good, right?
10:54
Deborah: I was so good, but I I'm too invested in inspiring people rather than getting to the bottom line of business.
11:05
Deborah: And those two things, at least for me, didn't meet my personality or suit my personality, right?
11:14
Cassandra: So it took something, a trial, you know, uh a tribulation or something for you to somewhat pivot, you know, and a lot of us are doing things that we we're okay with, but we know that's really not who we are.
11:32
Cassandra: And then you think about the part when people say, Oh, she has low self-esteem.
11:36
Cassandra: Do they have low self-esteem because they're not doing what they are ordained to do?
11:42
Cassandra: You think because you hear that a lot.
11:44
Cassandra: Her self-esteem, you don't hear a lot about self-worth as you talk about.
11:50
Deborah: Okay, you just hit the nail on the head, and let's put an exclamation part uh on that because that is exactly correct.
12:01
Deborah: You know, when we're saying to somebody, wow, that person doesn't have self-esteem, that's exactly what we're saying.
12:08
Deborah: We're saying that they can't prove, they can't prove how competent what their worth is because they're not doing anything, right?
12:20
Cassandra: Exactly.
12:21
Cassandra: What their worth is and what they're currently doing.
12:24
Cassandra: So that's what you're saying sounds like that constitutes some low, low self-esteem.
12:30
Cassandra: Right.
12:31
Deborah: Well, it would when I was in bed, I had horrible self-esteem because I had gone from the tops of the mountains, you know, to the to despair.
12:42
Deborah: But that's where I had to find out what self-worth was.
12:46
Deborah: I had to find out a lot of new definitions I didn't know.
12:49
Deborah: I'll give you another one that I discovered there.
12:52
Deborah: I didn't know that healing, when I looked up the word heal, it means whole.
13:01
Deborah: And what I mean by that is most of us try to get away from the parts we don't like about ourselves.
13:10
Deborah: So I don't like my anger, I don't like my frustration, I don't like my sadness.
13:15
Deborah: I'm going to that down and I'm going to make that as if it doesn't exist.
13:44
Deborah: Have I healed?
13:47
Deborah: Am I whole?
13:50
Cassandra: Yes, that's good.
13:51
Cassandra: Wow.
13:53
Cassandra: Okay.
13:54
Cassandra: So okay, so you were bedridden for how long?
13:59
Cassandra: Three years.
14:00
Cassandra: Okay, for three years.
14:02
Cassandra: How did so while you were bedridden, you said that you did a lot of thinking, soul searching.
14:32
Cassandra: What happened to get you out of that bedridden state?
14:40
Cassandra: Because you you sound like you got up and you start doing things that you knew that you were somewhat born to do, and a lot of it maybe had to do with when you grew up.
14:51
Deborah: I when when I was it when you get misdiagnosed, and especially with what happened with me, I had doctors giving me all kinds of diagnoses that were incorrect.
15:03
Deborah: Um, I had been in excruciating pain, Cassandra.
15:07
Deborah: Excruciating pain.
15:08
Deborah: I couldn't move, I was weak.
15:10
Deborah: And I one doctor would say you have MS.
15:13
Deborah: Then the next doctor said you had Lou Garrett's.
15:16
Deborah: Then the next doctor said it was all in my head.
15:18
Deborah: Now I am a very smart person, have been in corporate, and now I'm not being heard.
15:23
Deborah: Talk about power in a way.
15:27
Deborah: My power was like it somebody took it and ran, and it felt like I had nothing left.
15:36
Deborah: So during that time period when I was in bed, I also had something else that transpired.
15:42
Deborah: And I think it happens to so many women, and that is that because I had no definitive doctors, three of them, two of them saying the same thing, every single one of them was saying something different.
15:56
Deborah: My family and friends also abandoned me.
16:00
Deborah: So now I don't have the support system, I don't have the doctors, I don't have anybody, and my rescuer was a penny and creativity.
16:12
Cassandra: Okay, a penny, a a penny, uh penny, okay.
16:20
Deborah: Literally, okay.
16:21
Deborah: So I learned while I was in bed uh that a there's a penny that could be worth a million dollars.
16:30
Deborah: This is true.
16:31
Deborah: This is not this is not made up.
16:33
Deborah: A 1943 pure copper penny could be worth a million dollars.
16:41
Deborah: So I'm thinking to myself, look, if people won't even bend over to pick up a penny because they think it's worthless, right?
16:51
Deborah: Then what am I worth?
16:53
Deborah: If I think I'm that penny that nobody's going to pick up, yeah, what kind of self-worth do I have?
17:01
Deborah: And the penny was made by mistake.
17:04
Deborah: Usually they used to put steel into a penny, like in the middle of it.
17:09
Deborah: Oh, pennies got worked pure copper, 15 of them got through the process, and that's what makes them so valuable.
17:18
Deborah: So that got me started as the founder of the Self-Worth Initiative, and my first book and musical from you know, after the Citibank and the professional stuff, was to teach young children what self-worth meant through the eyes of a penny.
17:39
Deborah: And in that creativity and in that process, my mind stopped being focused on solving the problem because I think my biggest addiction my entire life has been trying to solve a problem that's solvable, and then go to people who don't listen and want to speak up louder, realizing that that was not working.
18:10
Cassandra: Okay, because in the beginning, like you indicated, that the sticky bun bandits, yeah, that was all about solutions.
18:16
Deborah: It was all about solutions.
18:18
Deborah: It was all about uh um uh in the in Sweetland, there's an aunt, and he comes to Wicklesnacker and the grandkids because the sticky bun bandits are making sticky buns and taking all the sugar from Sweetland, and it's a whole storyline where the kids have to figure out and it's the music was amazing.
18:39
Deborah: We did it everywhere, but the kids have to figure out um when the sticky bun bandits used um uh the dough to make a wall, a wall, so that Wicklosnacker and his grandkids and the big aunt can't get in there, then they have to come up with a solution of how they'd be able to do it, and every kid did, and every adult did it.
19:03
Cassandra: Hmm, okay, that was the solution.
19:05
Deborah: Yeah, so it's like so.
19:08
Deborah: If I was asking your audience, let's take a second, or your listeners.
19:12
Deborah: Okay, so there's this this wall of dough, there's a sticky bun bandits inside, and the wickle snacker and big aunt and his grandchildren need to get in.
19:22
Deborah: How would they do it?
19:23
Cassandra: How would they do it?
19:25
Cassandra: Wow, so would you say everybody figured out the solution eventually?
19:30
Deborah: Yeah, the answer is that they'd eat their way through, and that's how the kids get it, and they you know just loved it.
19:38
Deborah: But when you hear the music and you understand how much of an impact, it was like a fun way to teach solutions to young kids, and then the next one with a penny, a fun way to teach self-worth to kids in their families.
19:54
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
19:56
Cassandra: So, music you think has a lot to do with uh retaining their learning or it enables them to be more creative, you think?
20:06
Cassandra: What is this about music?
20:07
Deborah: Because you've done musicals, subconscious, it's subconscious programming.
20:12
Deborah: Think about when you I don't know if you've gone to Wicked, I don't know if you've gone to any musical or anything that you love.
20:19
Deborah: How often, when you're in a problem, do you sing uh define gravity?
20:23
Deborah: You know, how often do those songs that are imprinted in your mind, you are if I tell you, well, you know what, Cassandra, this is what self-worth is.
20:34
Deborah: And and let me tell you, you know, mentally, you'd be like, Yeah, okay, what whatever.
20:38
Deborah: And it's not gonna retain.
20:40
Deborah: If I give you musical and story and you go on a journey, guess what?
20:45
Deborah: You're gonna be singing those songs over and over if you love them, if they're fun, and these were, so you're gonna be thinking about it over and over and over again, and you're reprogramming your brain without even knowing it.
20:59
Deborah: Instead of me being instead of being like I love to inspire, that's my favorite thing to do, and I do feel like I can do that on my own with my own voice.
21:09
Deborah: But trust me, when you are, you know, when you're laughing and then crying and then singing, yeah, it it actually changes the cellular, you know, components of your body.
21:23
Cassandra: Wow, that could be why I was so in love with the wizard of oz.
21:27
Cassandra: Yes, yes.
21:28
Cassandra: And know all the songs, and yeah, that's wow.
21:33
Cassandra: I'm dating myself, but I love the Wizard of Oz and still do.
21:38
Deborah: I have I have a big thing uh in my place that has the Wizard of Oz and the Ruby slippers and everything else.
21:46
Deborah: I mean, Paisley the musical, when we get there, is I'm I'm wanting to have that same kind of effect where it's just like, but mine is in in with you because it's all about reclaiming power.
22:00
Deborah: Yeah, the next chapter, the Paisley chapter, okay is all about reclaiming power.
22:07
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
22:08
Cassandra: So you said that your thing is you like to inspire individuals.
22:15
Cassandra: Um, did that inspire?
22:18
Cassandra: Well, let me say this: you had a few life-changing incidents in your life, but yet each time you back, you bounce back.
22:26
Cassandra: Like, for example, uh, the precipice that got you up was you had the a tumor.
22:32
Cassandra: That was one of the things that when you were bedridden, they found it.
22:36
Cassandra: And then another thing is there was a needle that's supposed to have gone in a vein.
22:40
Cassandra: I could be wrong, but yet they stuck it in your arm by mistake, right?
22:45
Cassandra: Um, as opposed to the vein.
22:48
Cassandra: And then the COVID, your your father passed.
22:51
Cassandra: So we're talking about inspiration and and the and the title of this is is um get unstuck by reclaiming your power, right?
23:01
Cassandra: So through all those incidents, what was it that got you unstuck?
23:09
Cassandra: Well, let me ask you this.
23:10
Cassandra: What was okay, when you were young, you were sensitive.
23:13
Cassandra: Yes, all right.
23:14
Deborah: Stillian.
23:16
Cassandra: Okay, and but what that quill to quill, what is your power?
23:22
Deborah: Oh, my superpower is creativity.
23:24
Deborah: My superpower is, I feel like imagine this, imagine this.
23:30
Deborah: Imagine that when we have a lot of stuff that's happened, trauma in our lives, yeah, that it's like that boulder, right?
23:37
Deborah: So it's a big, big, gigantic boulder, and sometimes we're pushing it down.
23:41
Deborah: We don't want it to be seen because we're going after the self-esteem.
23:45
Deborah: When you are creative, creativity comes from the divine, let's call it, and it's almost as if it comes in from up top, and it's almost like water that smooths away that boulder, and you're no longer focusing on how to solve the problem, you're now focusing on how to express the energy, the unbelievable energy that's flowing through us.
24:16
Deborah: And I have found for myself that so many times, every time that I have fallen down, uh, usually unusual health scenarios, um, it would take somebody down and and they might never get up.
24:29
Deborah: If you look at like the with the vein thing, what happened is they instead of they were giving me gadolinium.
24:35
Deborah: Gadolinium is a like a uh contrast, it's almost like mainlining mercury, but instead of get hitting my vein, they actually put it in my arm, my arm swole, it's in my body, and I'm you know, but each time a new story came up, each time a new purpose came up, each time, like I'm now Cassandra, I am now at the point there's no holes barred, I'm not afraid of anything.
25:02
Deborah: I can go for a Broadway musical, a Broadway-bound musical, you know, and all heart.
25:09
Deborah: You know, I don't have the big budget.
25:10
Deborah: This is all heart, yeah.
25:13
Deborah: I have nothing to fear.
25:15
Cassandra: Wow.
25:16
Deborah: Once you've gone through and stood up over and over and over again, it's almost like, okay, what's gonna scare me about talking to anybody that I perceive is better than me after what I've gone through?
25:29
Deborah: Yeah, this is a piece of cake, yeah.
25:32
Cassandra: And the beauty of the things if you've gone through where everybody on this that's listening has been through something.
25:41
Cassandra: Yes, and if they have not, then I always say live on because you will.
25:47
Cassandra: But you had something whereas you bounced back.
25:50
Cassandra: What enabled you to bounce back?
25:54
Cassandra: Because I have individuals listening that you know gone through things, but yet that they're still mulling over it, they're still um ruminating over it.
26:06
Cassandra: What was it that had you to bounce back?
26:09
Deborah: Okay, I'm gonna answer that question, but then I want to circle back to something you said.
26:13
Deborah: It was my dad.
26:15
Deborah: I had a very sage dad who was so creative and how he explained things to me, and that is that's another one of my superpowers.
26:24
Deborah: For example, for the people that you just mentioned, I felt like that many times.
26:29
Deborah: And my dad said to me, Deborah, you know what?
26:33
Deborah: Disappointment is the quasi-emotion that takes people down every time.
26:39
Deborah: And I'm gonna tell you why.
26:41
Deborah: He said, the reason why is because when when you're excited, like I'm working on something, I'm really excited about what it is.
26:49
Deborah: I've got adrenaline in my body, I've got endorphins in my body.
26:54
Deborah: I am so excited.
26:55
Deborah: It's chemicals.
26:57
Deborah: I'm a walking chemical factory, right?
26:59
Deborah: But when I hit a wall, all the feel-good chemicals leave my body.
27:07
Deborah: Yeah, and when they leave my body, I'm not conscious of it.
27:11
Deborah: I call it failure, but it's really a chemical reaction or chemical depletion.
27:19
Deborah: But I don't know it, so I get back up and I try again, and I'm now I've got all the feel-good chemicals going on, and I'm like, okay, this time I got it.
27:27
Deborah: Yeah, and I walk again, and guess what happens?
27:30
Deborah: All those feel-good chemicals get depleted, and when they get depleted, if this happens enough times, yeah, we in society say you failed or you you're a failure, or it's never gonna work, or whatever, because we want to protect ourselves from the chemical reaction, yeah.
27:52
Deborah: And so then I'm like, Well, Dad, if that's the case, how do you overcome that?
27:59
Deborah: What do you do?
28:00
Deborah: I know he said to me, This is where it's the fake it until you make it, because if you understand that can't this is just that the the reason you don't want to ever try again, yeah, just because you don't like the depletion of the chemicals, then at least you can try again because at least you know.
28:22
Deborah: So my dad was my super weapon, I guess you would call it, because he would always come up with.
28:28
Deborah: I mean, like, I've got so many of these quirky things that he told me that I had never heard before, and it's like, wow, that is so true.
28:39
Cassandra: Wow, I like that.
28:40
Cassandra: I like that.
28:41
Cassandra: You're right, because like you said, some of them can't get up or or or you fight it because you don't like the way it makes you feel, you know.
28:50
Cassandra: But um, but what your dad said, it sparked something in you, especially when when things get got tough, yeah.
29:00
Cassandra: Really remember the things that your dad shared with you.
29:04
Deborah: Oh, yeah.
29:04
Deborah: And I'll tell you the best one.
29:06
Deborah: You tell me when to say it, and I'll tell you another one because this one I think is really powerful for any listener.
29:11
Cassandra: Okay, well, I want to hear it now.
29:13
Deborah: Okay.
29:14
Deborah: So when I was in despair in bed, and I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, Cassandra, I'm one of these people, I'm kind of like a natural muse.
29:23
Deborah: I can see somebody, I see their talent, and I'm able to help them fly.
29:27
Deborah: And I have helped so many of my friends fly, and yet I'm in bed.
29:32
Deborah: And I came come to my dad in total despair, going, How could this happen?
29:37
Deborah: How could I want to do such good in my life?
29:40
Deborah: All I want to do is good, and then I'm in bed, stuck in pain, not knowing what's wrong.
29:46
Deborah: And all my friends are out there living their best lives because I helped him.
29:51
Deborah: I'm not saying it's because of me, but I was a good champion, a good cheerleader.
29:56
Deborah: So he said to me, Okay, Deborah, uh, go get uh um a bowl of water and some food dye.
30:06
Deborah: And I'm like, Dad, I just told you I'm in despair.
30:10
Deborah: Uh-huh.
30:11
Deborah: You're asking me to get a bowl of water.
30:16
Deborah: What is this?
30:17
Deborah: But I did as he said because I know him well.
30:19
Deborah: So I get the water and he tells me, take the food dye.
30:24
Deborah: I want you to put, I pick blue, of course.
30:26
Deborah: I want you to put some food dye in there.
30:28
Deborah: I put in two or three drops, and he said, Now I want you to go ahead and stir it.
30:33
Deborah: So now I'm stirring the water and it's all blue.
30:36
Deborah: And he says to me, Okay, my daughter, now what I want you to do is I want you to get those three drops of blue that you put in the bowl.
30:45
Deborah: And I'm like, Dad, it's impossible.
30:50
Deborah: Yeah.
30:51
Deborah: And he's like, Exactly, it's impossible.
30:56
Deborah: Every time you encouraged somebody or made a difference in their life, there's three drops of you in that person, so you don't think that you're lying in bed, but you're saving the world, you're doing your thing because every person who you've touched or inspired has that part of you in them, and it's impossible to take that out.
31:25
Deborah: And every person who's touched your life is the same thing.
31:31
Cassandra: I love that.
31:32
Cassandra: I love that.
31:34
Cassandra: That was that was that was beautiful.
31:37
Cassandra: Thanks, Dad, right?
31:39
Deborah: Thanks, Dad.
31:41
Cassandra: Yeah.
31:41
Cassandra: Wow.
31:42
Cassandra: That's amazing.
31:43
Cassandra: Cause you're right.
31:44
Cassandra: Can't yeah.
31:45
Cassandra: Wow.
31:46
Cassandra: That was a powerful statement, I tell you.
31:50
Cassandra: Um let me.
31:53
Cassandra: So as you indicated, you think about things, things your dad said will come back to you in many instances, and that will reignite you based on the things you've been through, right?
32:09
Cassandra: Totally, yes.
32:10
Cassandra: Okay, okay, that's that's good.
32:13
Cassandra: Now, um let me talk about the your power, reclaiming their power.
32:26
Cassandra: You know what your power is.
32:29
Cassandra: Their listeners, even though we have this as reclaiming your power, is not sure.
32:35
Cassandra: How did you know your power?
32:38
Cassandra: And whereas that may help somebody listening get to know what theirs is and hold it and recognize it and claim it.
32:47
Deborah: Well, okay, so I have to go a little bit into Paisley and a little bit in the musical so that so that I can swing back to that, because I always think in metaphor that this is how I roll.
33:01
Deborah: And I needed a character that would really show what giving one's power away would be.
33:10
Deborah: And for me, it was a porcupine, and the reason why is because porcupines usually they put their back to the world, right?
33:19
Deborah: They put their quills up to protect themselves.
33:23
Deborah: But what about if you have a uh porcupine who dreams of being a fashion designer?
33:31
Deborah: But in the animal fashion world, she has to use her quills as pins to pin up the couture designs of uh diva, couture diva.
33:42
Deborah: Yeah, and she's giving away her quills until she's down to her last quill.
33:49
Deborah: So go on.
33:51
Deborah: I needed that metaphor to really show that we are the only ones, nobody can take our power from us.
34:00
Deborah: Nobody, it's impossible.
34:02
Deborah: We are the ones that give our quills away or our power, either because we have something that we need to prove or we do it out of love.
34:11
Deborah: Okay, and that is like a big distinction.
34:15
Deborah: So usually we give away our power because we want something in return.
34:22
Deborah: But here's the danger sign.
34:24
Deborah: I hope everybody can hear me right now.
34:27
Deborah: Please hear me so you don't have to go through some of this stuff I have.
34:30
Deborah: Yeah, the more you lose your power, the louder you get talking to people who can't hear you.
34:41
Cassandra: Break that down for us.
34:43
Deborah: Write that down.
34:44
Deborah: I don't know where to write it down, but I said break it down.
34:48
Cassandra: Break it down.
34:49
Deborah: Break it down.
34:49
Deborah: Yes.
34:51
Deborah: So what I mean is this we're we're the only person.
34:55
Deborah: Let's say, let's say that we want that we we're in a relationship, yeah, and we feel unloved, unsupported, whatever.
35:05
Deborah: So now we are going to take our quills or our power, and we're gonna do one of two things, or maybe things, but I'm gonna mention two.
35:14
Deborah: One is we're gonna try harder, we're gonna be sweeter, we're gonna get more, we're going to do everything that we can to entice the person.
35:23
Deborah: Okay, another thing we're gonna do potentially is we're gonna give anger just because it's not working out, because we'd be misunderstood, because things aren't going right.
35:33
Deborah: But we're literally taking a piece of ourselves and and trying to like do something with that power, and we're literally giving it away because a lot of times with the person we're in relationship with, they might be the reason we're trying giving our power away so much because we're not feeling heard, right?
35:54
Deborah: We're not feeling understood, we're not feeling loved, and so we're getting more to try to compensate.
36:02
Deborah: And at the end of the day, we might be left with one quill.
36:07
Deborah: I'll give you another example that might be easier.
36:09
Deborah: You have a boss who's uh you know really tough, and they're saying I know it all, I've got it all, and you don't, you know, nothing.
36:20
Deborah: So once again, we're giving, we're trying to overcompensate to meet their expectation rather than know our power and make a choice of where to put it.
36:37
Cassandra: Because if not, our energies drain.
36:41
Deborah: So and our quills are gone until we're la down to the last quill.
36:46
Deborah: Going, well, I stood for everybody else, I helped everybody else.
36:51
Deborah: Where are the people to help me?
36:53
Deborah: And then that's where, you know, at least for me, um, there's been tremendous sorrow to realize that I did it to myself.
37:03
Cassandra: Right, right.
37:04
Cassandra: It's kind of like, and I'll use this little analogy.
37:08
Cassandra: Many of my listeners are aware that when I was in corporate, I I I actually grew up doing the civil rights movement, and I became uh what some people call tokens.
37:22
Cassandra: I was hired because I was African, I was black.
37:26
Deborah: Oh, really?
37:28
Cassandra: Not so much that I was qualified, and so I I I climbed the corporate ladder, even though I was able to do the job.
37:39
Cassandra: But what I did, because that's what people thought, I gave away my power over compensating to prove that I was qualified, and I got burned out.
37:54
Deborah: Exactly.
37:55
Deborah: That is exactly what I'm saying.
37:58
Cassandra: So, what you're saying is you know your worth, so you don't have to prove anything, just do you.
38:04
Cassandra: Yes, okay, I like that.
38:07
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
38:09
Cassandra: That is amazing.
38:10
Cassandra: So that's why you say reclaim it.
38:13
Cassandra: That's why you talk about the penny, pennies worth millions, right?
38:18
Cassandra: Right, claim it.
38:20
Cassandra: No, know that.
38:21
Cassandra: Um, and I tell you, I have a friend that collects pennies, and whenever he sees a penny, he saves it, he keeps it.
38:29
Cassandra: And the reason he keeps it because it says, and God we trust.
38:33
Deborah: That's what I know, me too.
38:35
Deborah: Me too.
38:37
Cassandra: So that energy just rises, like, okay, God and I, the divine and I are connected, and that just brings him life.
38:47
Cassandra: So I get it, and I know uh my listeners are now based on the metaphors you use, the analogy that they're getting it.
38:56
Cassandra: So no need for low self-esteem, just demonstrate your worth.
39:02
Cassandra: Exactly.
39:03
Deborah: Know your worth.
39:04
Deborah: Because here's another here's another thing, Cassandra.
39:09
Deborah: Just anybody can think of this and it will immediately it's my it's my favorite, one of my favorite metaphors.
39:16
Deborah: Think of Picasso.
39:17
Deborah: Think of Picasso.
39:20
Deborah: If you went to your child's school and it was hanging up there, would you think it was done by a child?
39:27
Deborah: Like a lot of the faces, the faces absolutely, absolutely, yes, just beautiful, and he said it's worth a million, and guess what?
39:39
Deborah: And it is paying a million.
39:41
Deborah: Who determined that?
39:43
Deborah: He said, if he had said this is worth two dollars, you know, all I did was go, then that's where your worth is, and it's so hard to claim it, it's so hard to say, you know what?
39:58
Deborah: I'm not gonna define myself by the way the world sees everything.
40:03
Deborah: I am going to say, I am worth a million.
40:06
Deborah: Yeah, I could be a penny.
40:07
Deborah: I'm worth a million.
40:08
Deborah: I can uh give my power, I don't have to give away my power.
40:13
Deborah: Yeah, I'm a porcupine with quills up, quills up.
40:17
Deborah: I'm ready to reclaim everything that I have.
40:22
Cassandra: That's beautiful because when that energy rises, it kind of helps you understand that power, it comes to you, like you said.
40:32
Cassandra: You know, when you went through all those incidents, that's when the divine said, Oh, I got something else for you, girl.
40:42
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah.
40:44
Cassandra: That's why that um the Paisley, the musical, oh that is simply beautiful for my listeners.
40:56
Cassandra: Those pictures, oh, they're breathtaking.
41:01
Cassandra: So not only so you in other words, you like that that uh self-worth to me is a movement, and yeah, and that's what what Paisley's going to do to the world.
41:14
Deborah: Yes, I'm still in development.
41:16
Deborah: So the picture, you know, but the thing is, is that at the end of the day, I want people to walk out and actually get, oh, I experientially understand how to reclaim my power through the eyes of this porcupine, in this, you know, because because I've done a children's book, uh last quill.
41:40
Deborah: I illustrated, I did it, it was a tremendous success.
41:43
Deborah: But all the moms were saying, What about me?
41:45
Deborah: I like that better than they do, because I need to take my quills back.
41:49
Deborah: And so this is like in the realm of wicked or the lion king, it's magical realism that will appeal to all ages and just hopefully knock their socks off.
42:02
Deborah: The music, by the way, is gorgeous.
42:04
Deborah: A couple of people in my inner circle, I had them hear it, and and even with the first song, they were crying.
42:10
Deborah: And these are these are some powerful women, so this is not like you know, I know to trust that.
42:17
Cassandra: Well, I tell you, this is why I it's interesting, and I'm gonna say this because I could talk to you all day, but we can't, yes.
42:26
Cassandra: Um, you know, another way that I look at things and I'm looking at your life.
42:32
Cassandra: I don't know all that happened, but I know enough that you've been, you know, it's just a lot that's been going on, and I really think it was something that someone was hopeful that it would stop you from the movement that you're going to do.
42:49
Cassandra: And I applaud you that that creativity is in you for a reason, and it's kind of like whatever was stopping you, ain't no stopping you now.
43:01
Cassandra: I don't care what's going on in your life, it's no stopping.
43:04
Cassandra: So I just want you to keep it moving, and I'm gonna look for that musical because I want to see it.
43:12
Cassandra: The pictures are breathtaking for me, and I wish I could show them, but I love that movement to inspire individuals to start reclaiming their power based on all that's going on now.
43:28
Cassandra: What a this is a time that is needed, and I thank you for that.
43:32
Cassandra: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
43:34
Deborah: Thank you.
43:36
Cassandra: Yes, yes.
43:37
Cassandra: Um, I'm we're gonna have to wrap up.
43:41
Cassandra: And I just wanted to know another thing, I I read something about you, and I was so on it.
43:49
Cassandra: How one can also express themselves through their unique fashion, yes, and that connected with the porcupine, the paisley, and all of that.
44:00
Cassandra: So, you know, it's it's kind of like uh I got this quiz the other day, and somebody wanted to, you know, if you want to be an individual that don't want to look old, how would you want me to dress you, right?
44:15
Cassandra: Yeah, and it's amazing.
44:18
Cassandra: And I'm like, well, I don't really think I need that because I have my own style, you know, and I'm okay with who I am.
44:25
Cassandra: It's not about self-esteem, it's about self-worth, you know.
44:30
Cassandra: So that it reminds me of that, but that is so true how one can express themselves through their own fashion, and we're judged by it.
44:38
Deborah: That's why I picked that one with the body positivity, all the things that women go through that men don't have to encounter.
44:46
Cassandra: And we sometimes we put on the dress, but it's what's underneath, exactly, and inside you're so right on.
44:54
Cassandra: Thank you.
44:56
Cassandra: So, listen, we're gonna wrap up.
44:58
Cassandra: And my listeners, man, I know you got a lot of nuggets from this conversation, and I would like for you to share this podcast with someone that is struggling with low self-esteem or not even sure what their power is, and help them reclaim it because that's gonna be the energy to get them to start doing whatever they were stuck with, because whatever you were stuck with is something trying to stop you from moving forward for you to give to the world what you were here and created to do.
45:37
Cassandra: Powerful, powerful.
45:41
Cassandra: So, Deborah, thank you so much.
45:44
Cassandra: I appreciate you and listeners.
45:48
Cassandra: Again, like I always say, bye for now.
45:51
Cassandra: God bless, and again, Deborah, thank you so much.
45:58
Deborah: Thank you, Cassandra.