Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 45, Season 1: The Drop

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Episode 45, Season 1: The Drop · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Welcomed Love Dot podcast. I'm your co host Raina Butcher
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: here with our host, doctor Sarah Ansley. Hey, Hey, hey, hey,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: how's it going.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It is wonderful today.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: I'm good.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I wish that you know, it was the weather was
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: a little bit better here in Kentucky. You know, it
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: is a miserable February is just like gray and dreary
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and sane freezing rain.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you get pegged with ice when you
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: walk out the door. This is getting pelted.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: But I am thankful that we had our little beach trip.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: It does help kind of break up the we We
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: usually do a train depression in February because Donald does suffer.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: From seasonal seasonal depression. Yeah, and so that really helps him.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: It does.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: It helps him a lot to do a winter trip.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: And so we've kind of made it a thing.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Well, let's just make it a thing from here on. Hey, yes,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: all right, Saint John's every February. Yes, John's so beautiful. Yes,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: it's gorgeous. So episode forty five titled.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: The Drop, The Drop, and you have no idea what
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: About, no clue. I'm just over here, like I have
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: no idea. What to talk about, no clue.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: So this is actually a Forest Frank song, which he's
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: a Christian rapper that I really like. It's a new release,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: it's a good song. You should check it out. But
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: it's a song about humility and humbleness, and it's a
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: song about getting to the top and then like you
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: can drop, like see how far it can drop? Because
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: and this just reminds me of my own journey this
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: last past year, you know, the journey of twenty twenty
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: four where we had again the thing that we can't
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: talk about, and just the news recently that we got
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: a couple days ago that my mom's pancreatic cancer has returned,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: which was a real shock because we were looking at
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: the five year mark, which is kind of like where
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: they feel like you're in the actual remission, right. We
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: were so close, and she's pretty disappointed. And so it's
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: really about how do you handle setbacks with grace? How
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: do you handle setbacks with strength? How do you handle
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: people that hurt you with humility? How do you stay
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: humble even when you are in a good place in
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: your life? There's so much around that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: How do you stay out of victimhood?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Staying out of victimhood, which are things that we've talked
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: about before. I have been in the lowest of low,
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: and I've seen what I consider, in my opinion, the
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: highest of high. Like I I don't care to go
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: any further. If I go further in my career, great,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: But I've been in the New York Times this last week,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I was in New York Times. I've been in the
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Washington Post, I've been in USA today. I've been on
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: national television. I've been you know, rise of a star
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: in my career.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, we're just scratching this theory.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you could be. So it's like I've
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: already reached the pinnacle and so it's fine if there's
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: more out there for me. But if there's not, that's okay.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: But I've also, i think, reached a point where I
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: did have this sort of few years of floating on
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: a cloud, feeling really untouchable, and then have something really
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: hard happen in my life and kind of be dropped
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: down to reality or drop down to earth, right, And
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I've learned some lessons through that, and I want to
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: share them because.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: That's what those hardships are.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: It's easy to be happy when everything is good. It's
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: easy to be happy when everything's gone your way. Life
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: seems like you've got it all figured out, but in
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: a millisecond it can all change.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I know that it has happened to me more than once,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: where you get life changing shocking news, and it's happened
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: to you more than once. And you have to realize
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: that it is absolutely a part of life to suffer.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: But we can lessen our suffering if we stay faithful.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: God helps us lessen our suffering if we stay humble.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Because I think it's easy to want to step into
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: this position of like, well, I'm just going to get
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: really really tough and I'm just gonna, you know, bulldoze
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: my way through this, and that's there are times where
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: you have to do that, but it should be a
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: limited period of time, right. It's really hard on the
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: nervous system to what we call white knuckle your way
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: through things, which means essentially you don't have any capacity,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: but you're just you're squeezing and trying and pushing so
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: far it is complete net or survival mode, and then
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: you have to almost take on this hardened heart to
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: keep it up. You have to take on the like,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: well f them or forget this, or life's tough, or
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of it lately because we have
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: such a divided political climate of people that are like,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: we need to be meaner, even like Kendrick Lamar's performance,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Like I love Kendrick Lamar. I liked the performance. You know,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't agree with everything that was said about it,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: But you know, people are like, I think I'm going
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: to be more of a hater. Look at what was
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: happened to Kendrick, Like he rose to fame through being
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: a hater. I'm going to be more of a hater
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: this year. And that just made me cringe on the inside.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Makes me sad.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: It makes me sad for you that you feel like
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: the way that you have to feel empowered to move
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: through difficulty is through hate and through bitterness and through victimhood.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Those things do not bring you out of the other
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: side of suffering. And what I can tell you is
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: everything in this life is on loan. It's all temporary.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: We don't own a single thing. All we do is
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: manage our lives. We don't own anything. You know, it's
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: all temporary. If you're a person of faith and you
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: believe that there's a life after this world, which I do,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: and I think that life can humble you in a
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: freaking instance. It can humble you to your knees at
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: the drop of a hat. And I don't say this
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: to put people in fear, but I want to give
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: people hope that when it does happen, because it's not.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: If it is, when you will feel like you can
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: get your resilience and your strength from things that are positive,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: like optimism and gratitude and loving relationships and not feel
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: like you have to go out and be this tough
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: person that is just white knuckling their way through life.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Because I end up seeing a lot of those clients
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: and eventually they crack. Sure, eventually they crack. And it's
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: usually when they've cracked when they come to me and
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: they said, and they tell me about all the history
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: of their trauma and how hard they've had to push
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: and how tough they've had to create their exterior to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: try to survive difficult things. But when you allow life
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: to make you hard like that, you can't be open
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: to the vulnerability of real intimacy inside of relationships, and
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: you can't ever truly relax and find peace.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hardships, I feel like we're meant to soften us,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: and I think, you know, God's That's what God's grace is.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Right when when you're allowed to look at something really
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: really hard and accept it still is this beautiful, wonderful
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: thing and as something that you know will teach you
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: or catapult you into something really awesome in your life.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Right, And it's hard to look. It's hard to keep
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: that perspective in the face of difficult news like my
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: mom's cancer diagnosis. It's hard because she had to have
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: so much tough chemo and radiation, and she had the
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: whipple surgery, so surgery is not ever an option again.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: She went through the toughest chemo of it's flu fare Knox,
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: which is they basically said, hey, we can only do
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: this type of chemo once. We know it works really
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: well for pancreatic cancer, but you can't have it twice.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: It's too toxic. And she had some localized radiation and
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: so we're trying to figure out, now can she go
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: for more radiation? Can her body handle more radiation? And
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: so there's a real reality here that you know, if
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: it reoccurs again or if the radiation or treatment isn't
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: strong enough to stop it. It's an aggressive cancer, all right,
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And so you have to be able to face the truth.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Five years ago though, if you'd gotten that news on
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: the beach, you would have been in shambles. And like
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you did. I'm really proud of you, Thank you. I'm
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: really proud of you because, you know, even Josh said,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: is there gonna be okay? Like it's you know, and
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it's going to be okay. And because
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: you handled it really, really well, not like five year
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: ago Sarah would have.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: No five year ago Sarah would have been not out.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Of mean, of course, it's devastating, that's not that like,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: it's devastating news, but you can't, you know, there's only
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: so much that you can control. And in the face
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: of these really hard things, in the face of such
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: devastating news, you still have to be It's still a
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: choice to choose joy and humility and love. Yep.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: And I made a soft, conscious decision that day because
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: my mom's like I debated calling you. I don't want
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: to ruin your vacation, but I also know that you
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: want to know, sure you know, and my mom doesn't
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: really have anybody. You know, I'm her main support system,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: so I know that she wants to talk about it
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: and not have to hold that in. You know, I decided,
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I made a conscious choice that we can't do anything
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: about it today. We can't even do anything about it
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: until we talk to the treatment team. And so if
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I allow this news to devastate me, I am going
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: to miss out on the joy of this beautiful place
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: and the present moment and the good time with the
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: people that I love. And I wasn't willing to do that.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: But I couldn't have made that choice five years ago
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: because I didn't have capacity to make that choice, because
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: my nervous system was a wreck, and all I had
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: done my entire life was white knuckle through, push through
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: this next crisis, Okay, push through, push through, push through.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: And I cracked and I will never go back there,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: because there is another option out there right, which is
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: learning to cultivate safety in your own nervous system, learning
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: to really appreciate and have gratitude for the things in
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: your life. And trust me, I was in a period
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: of life where there wasn't much to be grateful for
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: other than my kids are alive and I have shelter
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: and I have running water, but you, I mean, can parison.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: My husband says, comparison is the thief of joy, and
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: it is it is, And so when I have these
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: tough things that happen in life like this is another
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: It is a pretty big blow because at the five
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: year mark they say there's only a ten percent chance
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: of it coming back. And you have to understand that
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: my mom had a four percent chance of surviving the
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: first year, so making it to almost five years where
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: we were going to get that whole ten percent likelihood,
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: it was like we were so close, right, But at
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: the same time, the way that you get through hard things,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: if you're on cloud nine and you've been humbled in
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: an instant, you're dropped down to Earth one, you have
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: to have radical acceptance. Denial is just it's a river
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: in Egypt, and it does not serve you. It serves
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you none. To stay in denial.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: So many people are in.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, yes it's a disease. You have to
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: have radical, deep acceptance that this is the situation. Here
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: are all the possible outcomes. You have to realize what
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: you can and cannot control. Stop trying to control things
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: you can't control. That's hard to do. But people don't
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: even know how to determine what they can and can't control.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: So you got to determine what can you control and
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: what can you can't control.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: Right. I had a long conversation with my mom about
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: what's the plan, and I said, well, Mom, you know,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: this is what I would do if I were you.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: If I were you and it were me in this situation,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: here's the things I would do. But ultimately she has
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: to make that decision because I said what I would
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: do doesn't necessarily match what would be the best for
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: your quality of life. Like I told her, I would
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: get rid of all of my toxic products, like I would,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: you know, focus on getting ready processed foods. I would
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: do those things just to help my body through the chemo.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: You're she's gonna have chemo no matter what you know,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: and chemo's very toxic, So reducing your other toxic cloud
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: it is going to be important. And there is evidence
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: that doing that and stuff can help help. And but
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I said, but if you know, you're also seventy five
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: and you love your Coca cola, and if you feel
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: crappy during chemo, and you know a coke is gonna
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: make you feel better, then like make that decision and
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: don't have shame about it, right, And so that's what
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: I told her, is like, you have to focus on
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: what you feel like you can control. And if you
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: feel like, hey, it's too much to try to hyper
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: control my environment during this, then give yourself grace and mercy.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: Well, because trying to control it just does more damage.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Right exactly, and it just just regulates you. And the
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: stress is worse than the coke, right for sure. Have
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: gonna pound this into the ground. Guys. The stress and
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: trauma and not being able to cope is worse than anything.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: So you know, if you have some little crutches here
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: and there that help things, help you sustain yourself, then okay,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: it's not like you're doing awful things like getting drunk
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: every night, right, right, And so you have to control
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: what you can control. Fostering a a sense of safety
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: in yourself.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: That's a bigot.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: And you have to switch from the what if to
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: the even if. That was the biggest, most profound change
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: of my life, is going from what if, what if?
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: What if? To even if, even if this happens I'm
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I'm
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: still safe. I'm still going to be okay. And with
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: my mom, we've taken that trip down the rabbit hole
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: of okay. So you do die right one. You've made
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: it to seventy five. That's a beautiful life. I know
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: you're not ready to go, and I even said this,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I said before I even tell you this, Mom, just
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: know that your feelings are valid. I know you're not
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: ready to go. I acknowledge that, but let's just change
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: it from what if to even if, because you have to.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: If this is your time, you will transition immediately into
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: paradise where there is no pain, there is no sadness,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: there is no hurt, there's no disease. You will be
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: reunited with my dad, who will finally be a healed
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: human being, right and your mother, your father, your brother.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: There's gonna be people that are gonna show up for
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: you there in heaven that you've never you know, like,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: you're gonna be transitioning from one set of wonderful people
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: to another set of wonderful people. And you won't miss me.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I know you think you will, but we have to
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: rest on God's promises of what heaven is, and then
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: they say there's no pain, there's no tears, and so
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: so just I don't want her to fear death, and
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I know she does to some degree, But letting go
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: of my fear of death transformed my entire life absolutely,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: because even if I die now, it would be devastating
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: because my kids, I mean, Donald, we're in the process
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: of adoption.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: We have a hearing.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: But I know if I died, he'd be a wreck
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: and my kids would be a wreck. And like I mean,
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: of course, I would have to assume that they would recover,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: but I'm.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Not going to care if I have you be living
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: in the high.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because the veil will be lifted, That's right, right,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: because God will be able to hopefully show me the
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: plan for my kids' lives, which ends there. Right, because
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I've taught my kids the relate to be in relationship
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: with Jesus Christ and to always come at life from
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: the even if standpoint, even if the worst happens, even
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: if Okay, I've faced enough adversity, I've faced enough deep
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: trauma to be able to face even if.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and it completely prepares you for what I
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: mean the worst thing you could ever imagine, right, which
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: you know in my mind is like the loss of
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: a child, right it is, And it's completely devastating, and
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: to think about is devastating. And you know, even thinking
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: about something happening, you know, to Josh or Donald, you know,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: it's it's extremely devastating. But I know through my faith
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: and really just through everything that I've previously been through
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: that no matter what, like God's got my back.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: And that's a really really secure feeling.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: It is the ultimate security because nobody can offer you
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: the comfort that Jesus can, because he says, one, I'm
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: here to take away your shame, the shame of your sins.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: If you repent, if you turn towards me, your shame
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: is gone. You're wiped clean. And shame is so painful,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: and it binds us. It binds us, you know, it
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: binds us to Satan, it binds us to the worldly issues. Right.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: And then two he offers the comfort and the peace
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: of the afterlife. Like the worst thing that we think
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: about happening is death ultimately, right, right, the scariest thing.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: And when you no longer fear death, it's so freeing.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: And I know that.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Doesn't want to suffer. There's a fear of suffering. Yeah, right,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: there's a fear of pain. There's a fear of sickness.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: I saw the chemo the first time. It was brutal,
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: but she did really really well comparatively to a lot
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: of people. And I just try to tell her, Mom,
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: I will be here for you, and we're going to
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: take it one day at a time, and we are
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: not going to lose faith in God, because there's that
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: struggle with well, how can God allow these things to happen.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: He doesn't. It's not him, you know, it's not him.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: We have free will and we make decisions, you know.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: And I'm not going to blame my mom's cancer on her.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: She did smoke for like a really really really long time,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: but people who don't smoke it still still get cancer exactly.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm not saying like her cancer was caused by
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: just by smoking. But what I'm saying is like, we
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: have free will to make decisions that can hurt our body.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: But also as a society, we've created a toxic world
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: that's right, right, that we know changes our DNA and
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: puts us at risk for her answer, and so like
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: human beings have made choices that have elevated our risk
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: for disease. Right, we choose to drive cars. When we
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: make a choice to drive a car, there's the risk
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: of an accidental Right we choose to talk on shelfe
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: we make these choices. Do you think that that's God
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: being like you know, I'm going to get you into
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: a car accident? Right? No, it's human free will and
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: human error. But but God is here to be alongside
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: of us and that suffering. And the only thing that
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: ever really helped me wrap my head around this was
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: that earth is the only place we can learn limitations.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: There are no limitations in heaven. There's no limitations of love,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: of happiness, of peace, of joy, of goodness, of faithfulness,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: of all the fruit of the spirit. There's no limitations
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: to those things in heaven. But how could you appreciate
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: no limitation unless you've experienced limitation, That's right, You would
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: have no frame of reference. And so I think that
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I do not know this to be true. This is
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: my personal opinion. I think God allows this journey on
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: earth to experience limitation and to experience his love through suffering.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: We can't even comprehend what Jesus did for us. If
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: we don't suffer ourselves, we have no comprehension right of
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: the level of suffering that Christ took upon himself for
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: our release of shame, for our forgiveness of sins, for
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: the everlasting life without separation of God in heaven. And
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: so if we can't learn limitations, how can we know
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: when the veil is lifted, what that incredible joy and
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: love feels like.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm of course never rush death, but you
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: know when I think about certain things, like meeting my
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: mother in heaven and all her glory is how it
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: always envisioned her, Like I look forward to that, of course,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Like I get excited for that sure, and of course,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: like again, you know, like I never want to rush it, right,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: not today, Satan, Yeah, not today, baby, But I do.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I can't wait for those moments to meet the people
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: that you know, I missed dearly here on earth.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited to see to see Jared healed, you know,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: because he was he had a lot of demons that
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: he struggled with. And I mean, I you know, I
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: look forward to the day where I can see the
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: father of my children be a whole happy you know
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: human being in his spiritual realm. I mean, I guess
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: we won't really be human anymore. But it's really important
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: to earn your attachment security because attachment security creates the
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: deep sense of safety ingrained into your nervous system. It
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: rewires your nervous system essentially, And I don't know if
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: a lot of people understand that. That's the hallmark of
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: secure attachment is a deeply felt sense of safety in
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: your nervous system and having control over your nervous system
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: to some degree. Of course, you know, not all emotions
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: are in our complete control, but we can ground ourselves
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: in safety when those really really difficult times happen to us,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: and we can use, for example, compartmentalization to our advantage.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: On the beach that day, I had to compartmentalize it.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: It wasn't I didn't work through all those difficult emotions
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: in that moment. There was no space or time to
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: do that. So I said, you know what, I'm going
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: to take this situation and I'm going to put it
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: over here in this bucket, and I'm gonna step right
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: back over here into the joy and into the beautiful
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: beach and into the beautiful relationships with the people that
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: I love here today, in the now, and so that
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: would probably be My last tip is staying in the
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: present because in the book Eckhart tolls Power of Now
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: will change your life.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that book is profound.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: It will change your whole life because it teaches you
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: that the future doesn't exist, in the past doesn't exist.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: All you have is the present.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: So if your mind is in the future and that
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: is just regulating your nervous system, you are missing out
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: on the present. And I could never truly deeply get
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: that until I taught my nervous system to accept that.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: And that's what I try to teach other people to do,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: is to accept that there is nothing else but now.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: So what are you doing in the now? Are your
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: thoughts about those past conversations? Productive? Learn the lesson and
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: move move on. Stop going back there if you have
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: to redirect those thoughts every five seconds, okay, but you're
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: probably trying to think through something you should be feeling anyway, right,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: And the only way out, and my last tip is
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: the only way out is through. You can't want you
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: can't you can't sidestep it. And we do all sorts
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: of stuff to band aid our page.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: Oh for sure.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I think everybody I've ever come in contact with is
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: in some way, shape or form afraid of their own emotions,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: and they are looking for band aids.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: One big piece of advice that I'll never forget, that
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: says Dad gave me. And this was in the throes
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: of the craziness of our relationship, and I just, you know,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I looked at him and I'm like, you know, I'm
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: this hurts. You know it hurts, and you know what
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: do I do? And he said, you just got to
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: walk through the pain. You gotta walk through it, honey. Yeah,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: you got to walk through it to get to the
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: other side. And of course at that time I had
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: no frame of reference around.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: It, but it's so true.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And you got to you gotta accept the pain
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: as a gift, because the pain is trying to teach
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: us something.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: It is I always, you know, when I teach emotional processing,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: I tell people emotions are signals. They have signal value,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: and when you don't deal with them, you bypass the
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: signal value and they stay stuck. You can't move the energy. So,
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: speaking of moving through pain, I've had to move through
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: the pain of my stomach without my armor colostrum.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, thank thank God for Armor.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Our affiliate Armor, who has made such a difference in
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: my tummy. If you have tummy pain, which a lot
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: of hot people have tummy pain, okay, all hot girls,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: all have hot girls have stomach issues and armor can
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: be a huge help for that. It is colostrum, which
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: is you know, something that will help repair your gut.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: It will make a difference in your hair, your skin,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: your nails, just your overall health and well being. And
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: so we do have a really great discount code love Doc.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: If you visit Armora dot com you will get fifteen
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: percent off of your order. It is a fabulous supplement.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: You just mix it in your drink. There's flavorless and
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: they also have really great flavors. The watermelon is my favorite,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: but definitely worth checking out. It is a all around
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: good health game changer supplement.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: And listen, guys, Sarah and I love stuff. Okay, we
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: love love products.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: We are extremely easily influenced, yes, but then we give
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: things up very quick and it doesn't work on the
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: first go.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: We're like y, I will, I am a sucker for
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: anything that I feel can elevate my health.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Yes, at the end of the day.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: And so I've been on I've been Taking Armor for
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: now close to a year, and I was having, like
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: I said, lots of tummy issues before and it has
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: just been a complete game changer. So we're not just
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: blowing smoke here, guys. We truly believe in this product.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: We will not promote a product on our podcast that
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: we do not believe in. No, we will not do
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: it because we are absolutely authentic.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we are trying our very best, trying our very
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: best authentic selves. Which was the last episode, yes, so,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: but this episode, of course, was called the Drop. And
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: if you are feeling right now, if you're at a
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: low point in your life, just know that there is hope.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: There is hope.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: It won't the suffering does not last forever. It doesn't,
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: And there's healing. There's healing available.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: And if you need some guidance in your healing journey,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: doctor Hensley's here. I highly encourage you go to the website.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Read some of the testimonies. I read them sometimes just
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know, just to get motivated and feel good
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: because they are so so profound. What people say about
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: you specifically.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it really is sometimes I don't feel worthy, you know,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: when I get get this feedback and I'm like, my gosh, like, yeah,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I just want to be a good steward of the kingdom.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're healing people and it's I'm just again
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I always say, I'm just happy to be riding the
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: coattails of it, and I'm so grateful to be here.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: We are so grateful for each and every single one
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: of you. We could not do this without you, and
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: we it's our favorite thing to do. Guys.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, we love the podcast.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Today was a little bit harder.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie because I'm like recovering from vacation
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, but we love coming here.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: We love talking to you guys. We love being a
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: part of this community. We love that you are a
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: part of this community. There's so much more to come. Uh,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: stay tuned because we're gonna have our husbands on air.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, our husbands are coming on the pie.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, and we have this whole thing planned where we're
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: gonna ask them questions on the fly. We're not going
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: to tell them what the questions are, yep, so they
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: have to just they're gonna free flow.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Gangster like we do. Okay, so Donald will be very nervous.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Josh will be so nervous too, So
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be interesting.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: So stay tuned. We love you guys.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Please go see doctor Hensley at the website which is
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: now the lovedoc dot com. Check out her services for
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: all of our listeners. You can use love Love Doc
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: twenty seven to get twenty seven percent off her hybrid
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: group coaching program and guys, until next time, peace, love
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: and perspective