Latest / Letters from Jeannie: Hosting and Intentional Living / 24 Years Ago, I Rolled My Eyes

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24 Years Ago, I Rolled My Eyes · Letters from Jeannie: Hosting and Intentional Living

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, it's Jeannie.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Letters from Jeannie.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Last Sunday's letter was one of the most loved letters I've ever shared.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So many of you wrote to me about your own little voice, and I read every single one.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted you to hear it in my voice.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is the letter I wrote to my husband, Joseph, for our 24th wedding anniversary.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's called, 24 Years Ago I Rolled My Eyes.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Grab your coffee.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: 24 years ago, I rolled my eyes.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: He was spitting.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, whatever, boy.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what happened next.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Joseph, tomorrow will be 24 years as the doctor's hathorns.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I have to confess, I did ignore you on the day we met.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was so self-absorbed, I couldn't see the blessings right in front of me.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was Team Jeannie, period.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what made me listen to that little voice that nudged me to stop
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: and look at you differently.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I hadn't and decided not to start a medical practice in central Louisiana,
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: we would not exist today.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our lives would be completely different.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't imagine and never want to know what my life would be without you and
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: the little family we created.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the real deal.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I came to central Louisiana for a job interview and eventually started
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: an OBGYN practice, the only female OBGYN in the area.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You are a young ER doc, one year out in private practice.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: We were introduced by the hospital recruiter, who was clearly playing matchmaker.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: She kept enthusiastically mentioning you to me.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even remember talking to you.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Evidently, you were smitten.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Me?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I couldn't have cared less.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: My focus was getting paid,
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: establishing a successful medical practice,
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: traveling to Paris, and building my first home to start.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I certainly did not have any time for any foolishness,
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: especially for a man who probably could not understand my ambitions.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: We spoke maybe twice before I moved to Louisiana.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: The moving day comes.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Ann, who shows up at my door to check on me and my mother, you, asking if we were okay.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: If we needed anything, taking us to dinner, just smiling.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Me, my eyes rolled, started, and my whatever attitude dominated.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: In my head, I kept thinking, I do not have time for foolery.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Bye, boy.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: My mother knew what was going on.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: She got mysteriously ill on the spot.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I gave you the eye roll once more, but this time with pursed lips and a couple of sighs.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Two weeks later, we had our first date.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: It lasted 16 hours.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Have the town watch because small town folks are nosy,
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: especially my neighbor whom I caught peeping through her blinds.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: A month later, we were engaged.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: On October 5th, 2002, we were married.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The beginning sounds sweet and that's what most people really like, but let's get real.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: A marriage has its moments where a couple has to decide whether to stay in or leave
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: the marriage.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody was happy for us.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your mother didn't like me.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't see me as the one going to church several days a week
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: and giving large sums of money to make the pastor happy.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: My independence and aspiration were a disturbance.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Her son, her only son, had brought home some girl.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: That girl wasn't going anywhere, and your sisters were just the same.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I put up with a few years of nasty comments,
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: indifference,
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: and disrespect just to keep the peace until I realized that nothing would change
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: unless I set boundaries.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Man, oh man, did I ever.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: The boundaries were too high to cross, but we needed the space to grow as a couple.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: The wind?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: No one's opinion matters in your marriage but the two people in it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: We fought for our home and held it.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: We built first, together.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Before marriage, fiscal responsibility was a focus.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: We both started paying off our educational loans.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: While most of our friends were bawling, we lived on one paycheck.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: The other one went straight to the loans initially.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: There were no fancy cars or designer bags.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't keep up with our peers.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: We postponed international travel and expensive vacations for many years.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: We paid those loans off and under three.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then we kept living on one paycheck because we were saving for the family we wanted.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: The dream home we talked about and the investments that will one day give us
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: the choice to retire early.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody carried it alone.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: We sat down together with Together, we made the plan together and held each other accountable.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: When one of us wanted to splurge, the other one kept the assignment clear.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: The win,
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: everything we enjoy now,
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: our home,
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: the freedom,
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: and the options started with two young doctors who were willing
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: to delay gratification for the now.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Two doctors, one marriage.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It had just been us for nine and a half years.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Creation of medical practices,
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: long calls, different schedules, missed dinners, and social engagements.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: We did things that most people said were too risky to do.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: We always said being uncomfortable leads to growth.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, there were quite a few of those moments.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when we lost a lot of money and it took us an extra year to get over it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: More calls, longer hours.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: We ate out less.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: No vacations, too.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Both of us did what was necessary to cover that loss.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: The victory.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: It paid.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: We learned early on to build with each other, not next to each other.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That discomfort became opportunities we could not imagine.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Babies at 40, I birthed our daughter when I was 40 and our son three years later.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: We entered the season of parenthood.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I remember the fear in your face when our daughter required some resuscitation at birth.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I could see the tear in your eye when you heard her cry and held her in disbelief.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: At that moment, you said, I never thought I would be a dad.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: That gratitude you showed was touching, overjoyed, worn out.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Scared and mystified by our mighty preemie girl that we love so dearly.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: We ignored the opinions of others who felt we were too old to start a family.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: But when,
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: at our ages,
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: we were ready and able to provide our children with the best life possible.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We had the time to do it right.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: In sickness and health, we faced illnesses that could have been fatal.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Joseph, I stayed by your side while you had a major surgical procedure during COVID.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: COVID visitor restrictions made it impossible for me to spend the night in your room.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: But thank goodness for FaceTime.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I watched and prayed over you as you slept at night.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I will never forget your optimism and unwavering faith.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: You knew our family would prevail.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: The wind, Joseph, is healthier than ever, and we are stronger together.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Losing people too soon.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: We've buried people we weren't ready to lose.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: You witnessed the passing of your mother and I lost my brother most recently.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Grief can push two people into separate corners, but we had each other to hold on to.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: The win, we grieve together, not apart.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're a team still.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: We may bicker, but it doesn't last long.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: We practiced for years not to listen.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: When one of us needs room to grow, the other steps back.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: When one of us needs support, the other steps up without hesitation.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: A smooch here and there in front of the kids is cool and done on purpose.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: They need to see what a strong, loving marriage looks like.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: 24 years later, I said yes again.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Happy anniversary, babe.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, friends, for listening.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Jez and I celebrated 24 years last Monday,
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: and I'm still grateful I listened to that little voice.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Moments like that are exactly why I named my candle line Pivotal Moments.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: The yes that changed everything.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: The date that lasts at 16 hours.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: The anniversary dinner at home.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: When I light a candle, I'm marking a moment.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, my favorites are Mystic Pumpkin and Smokin' Vanilla.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: They make my home feel like fall the minute I walk in.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can find them at justjeannie.shop.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to celebrate your own love story at home,
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: my cookbook,
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to My Table, is full of recipes I cook for the people I love most.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's on my website at justjeanniejacobs.com.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: If this letter meant something to you,
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: share it with someone who This week's letter is a confession.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can't stop organizing my refrigerator.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's about letting go and why we as women feel we have to do it all and do it flawlessly.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of you will see yourselves in it.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Until next Sunday, live with intention.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Love, Jeannie.