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Healing from Trauma: Finding Peace in a Chaotic Mind · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody, hey.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So today, you know, diane and I have been trying to do this for a little bit and magnificence has happened and we're here, so I'm super excited.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: So Diana Sullivan specializes in energy healing modalities such as shamanic healing, reiki and access bars, guiding individuals through deep emotional and spiritual healing.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: She has helped people launch businesses, attract soulmates and achieve physical healing by addressing the root causes of their struggles, which is so important.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: She unlocks new possibilities, releasing energetic blockages that may be holding them back in relationships, health and, especially, financial success.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: She has years of experience teaching how unresolved past traumas this is what we're going to talk about today can subtly yet powerfully affect every aspect of life.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: And she's just a rock star.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Let's just call it what it is, shall we?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: So, diana, why don't you tell a little bit more about yourself that people that don't know you Sure.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Thank you, michael, I'm honored to be here.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me, and I love that we stuck with it and we got to today, so that's perfect Amen.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: As you mentioned a lot of things already, so I'm trained in different healing modalities.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I also have been a single mom since my kids were one and three, who has been a business person in the background.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: So I had a successful appraisal management company that I ran for 15 years and sold that because in the background I was working on these healing, the healing modalities and coaching and different things and that became my passion.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: So I sold my company a year and a half ago for two and a half million dollars, which was quite fun and all of that.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: And now I get to do what I love, which is help people.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic and you know your story.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Your story is very cool because of the success and how you help people.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I really you know, when you were talking about it before and I think it was with Carolyn as well they were just talking about it with you, carolyn Azuna we're in the same group, guys, just so you know what I'm talking about as well as with the Neuron Coding Institute.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: So you know it's just really cool how you change that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: You know what you're doing into what you do now.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: So will you talk a little bit more about you know what started you down the path, if you will, into what you love, and you know what you're doing now no-transcript attract things that are fun and delicious and yummy and all of the things.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: So that's where it began.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: It began because of something that was really crappy.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: You know, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Obviously it's so interesting how, when we get into a bad place whether it be emotionally, psychologically, physically, you know burnout, whatever it is, and we are like enough.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: And it's weird how then we're gonna talk about it obviously, how the new thing gets attracted to you when you say enough and you create that leverage for yourself and I want something different.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: And then here you are right.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, isn't it's?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: It's really beautiful.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: You know, for me, um, you know, I've had that multiple times in my my many years, if I wanted to go back, right, but if you know, if we hadn't been in the place with our construction company saying you know what, this isn't doing it for us anymore and let's, you know, I'm just done after 53 years of being in the same industry, I wouldn't have enjoyed the Neuron Coding Institute and I wouldn't be here with you right now.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: So it's really magical and I would.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: When, at the time, most people think you know my life's ending right, we go to all of this horrible stuff and what can be birthed out of that, the gifts, it's really beautiful.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: So, with that said, before we really get started, top right-hand corner of the screen there's a blue QR code.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Please scan that QR code.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: It takes you to empowerperformancestrategiescom, for people listening on the podcast forums later Again empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: There are eBooks, free resources that I've written.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: There are Facebook groups for both veterans and their families, there's trainings, there's all kinds of stuff and, of course, other episodes of the podcast.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: So check it out, be part of the community and, um, be part of the mission.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: So, with that said, um, let's.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Let me start with what kind um.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Your sound isn't coming through clear okay, Okay, let me try that again.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Is it better?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Now it is, thank you.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I live in the foothills, so sometimes my internet gets a little wonky.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: You're like I don't know what he just said.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: I was going to try to wing it, but I thought I'd ask that's all good.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: What sign should someone be looking for that indicate their past is still shaping their present, whether that be trauma or just thoughts?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Whatever the case may be, let's really start there, because I think that's kind of the beginning of the healing right.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, really, just taking an honest look at yourself, do you feel peaceful and calm?
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Are you anxious?
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Do you have anxiety?
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Are you able to respond as opposed to react when situations happen?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Are you self-aware, which you know, we're all.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: We're not really taught self-awareness, so it is a challenging thing.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, I even find I've been doing these things for 10 years and sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I had massive anxiety and I didn't even realize I had it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: You know, it just masks itself in certain ways.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: But, you know, is your life really working?
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Is it?
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Do you?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Are you, are you getting the things that you desire and that you want?
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: You know, or are you kind of stressed out?
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: Are you able to be present and be in the present moment, or are you always somewhere else in your head?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: You?
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: love that.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: You said that.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Let's kind of dive into that and I call it the spin cycle, right?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: And a lot of times we just don't even realize we're there and someone will say, hey, what was up with you yesterday?
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Or whatever the case may be, and this literally just happened recently.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: So when you're in that spin cycle or you know in your thoughts, in your head, and you're like you're- saying right now being unresourceful.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: What are some of the?
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I know my neuron coding tricks and I know you know Tony Robbins stuff and all those different things.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: But what do you suggest to people to say, hey, you know what, you can snap out of it and live your best life if you will.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I think one of the big things is really to just number one have the intention.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: You know we have to be intentional about it or we don't do it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: You know we can get lost and we mask it.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: You know our egos are pretty good at hiding it and masking it.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: So if you're busy being busy, and you're just too busy and you can't take a minute, and you're too busy and you're too, you know it's that, stop.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: That's the first thing you can do is stop.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Create some intentionality about.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: You know I'm going to slow down.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: You know I'm going to slow down.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: I don't have to do all of the things and they don't all need to get done, you know, immediately.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: And it doesn't have to be perfect either.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: You know, a lot of times people are striving for perfection and it's not something that exists and they feel like they're really I don't remember.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I want to say it was Joseph McClendon III who said if you're striving for perfection, you're like at a really low vibration.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: You know that sounds more like something Carolyn said.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure, but you know, when you're striving for that it is.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: It's a low vibration because it's something that's unattainable, you know.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: So instead, let go of that idea of perfection.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Let go of the busyness and just stop.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Create some intentionality.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: You know what I love my family.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I love my children.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: So maybe it's more time for more important for me to sit down and just hang out with them tonight than it is to clean the bathroom or the house or, you know, whatever it is that you had and I love that.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: And you know, when we're doing those things we're just, we're just blocking.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: You know, a lot of the times we're blocking feelings that we don't want to feel.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: You can't block the the good, you can't block the good bad stuff and have the good stuff.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: You're either blocking all of it or you're blocking none of it.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: So if there's feelings you're avoiding by being busy, you know once you do stop, some of that stuff's going to come up and you get to greet it with love and care.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: You know and love all of those parts of yourself.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I love that you say that I want to talk more about that.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Look, the questions are already out the door.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Just organic conversations with my curiosity, welcome.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: So when you're having that and it could be your body, you know feeling worn out and you know you're not listening to it, or family, or whatever the case may be, what are some some things that?
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, hey, I realized something's not right.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I'm anxious, I'm feeling pissed off, I'm in the spin cycle, I can't get out of it.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: What are some of the fastest ways that you can think of to to snap people out of it so they can get back on track and take that break and get you know what's important to them back?
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: in their life.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Breathwork, of course, would be the first thing and it's the easiest because you can do it no matter where you are, you know if people aren't familiar.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Box breathing, I think is one of the easiest you know.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Count to four, going in through your nose, hold it for four, four out, hold that, and then you picture it as a box as you go through.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just learned about through that from Gary Brekka.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I did not know about it until then.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Really, yeah, it's a great one.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: It's a great one because you're focusing on something else.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Right, right, yeah, it brings your focus because I could tell you to meditate.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: But if you've not meditated before, this idea of or even if you have, sometimes it's hard to this idea of quieting your mind just doesn't work right.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: So that's the easiest.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: The next thing, that's probably my favorite, is to go for a walk.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: You know, when you walk it actually it helps to process through the things that are stuck in there.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: You know it just automatically works to process through the things that are stuck in there.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: You know it just automatically works to process.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: And if you can be around, you know, in nature I live on 34 acres, so I get to go out and walk around here every day and it's just beautiful.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: And I mean, for me, I love to touch the trees and feel the energy of the trees.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: And you know some people think that's weird and if that's weird for you you don't have to do that, you know.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: But just being around them is really helpful too, you know.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: So getting out and walking, yeah, I love that Because anytime you have any physical exercises, mentally you're going to come out of it in a better state.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: It releases hormones and all that fun stuff.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: So you know feeling the trees, that kind of stuff.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So let me go back two steps.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I get it Okay.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: First of all, I get it because how often I don't do it enough, but I do do it.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: In fact I did it a couple of days ago going outside.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Take your shoes off, put your feet in the grass and grounding, whether that be through your feet, through the tree, feeling that energy, whatever it is.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: But how beautiful it is to sit there for a minute, be intentional, like you're saying and I love that you brought that up and really just be present there with yourself and nature and slow down for a second, whether you're walking or just grounding, whatever the case may be, and listen to the birds around you, the squirrels.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I think I had Aaron Lloyd on here.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: We talked about the turkeys, because if you have turkeys, we're on property as well, and so you know you have all this little life going around you when you slow down and really see it, hear it and feel it it really centers you.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Well, that could be in the city too.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, you've got things going around too too, but when you're not focusing on yourself, you're focusing on other things, beautiful things um, it can be really empowering right and using all your senses too you know, because a lot of times we just you know, we're just looking around so much with our eyes but you know what do you hear and what can you touch, and even the taste of things sometimes, and you know all of the things and just taking it in, yeah, yeah, Absolutely love that and it's, it's.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: We don't take enough time to do it.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think you could do it 24 hours a day and it wouldn't be enough time.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah, you know, and really one of the other things too is prioritizing fun, you know, prioritizing things that you enjoy doing.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: You know you're not too busy to find some fun time.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: If you are.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: You got to realize that if you do find some fun time, the things that are busy, they're going to go easier and they're going to go smoother and they're going to go faster because you're going to approach them from a different, from a different energy, from a different angle, and it's just going to I love that you said that, because when you do focus on those positive things gratefulness or whatever and you're doing some of those fun things, it does, it resets you, it absolutely resets you and the other things will be there.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: But if you're going and doing it in a different emotional state and different mindset, maybe you'll even have fun doing it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: It's a game changer.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: You can even make a game and have fun doing dishes.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: You can actually enjoy that.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Give me a game with dishes.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to hear this.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I have one.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: That just came up Everything can be a game, something fun, absolutely playing with you.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: How you stack them, I don't know yeah, yeah it is.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: It's actually a funny thing in my household, but no one can stack the dishwasher like me.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: No one can stack the drying rack, so it has become a little bit of a competition there you go, there you go, celebration being the reward, right yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead, you're going to say something.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Another thing would be gratitude, you know, so, having a gratitude practice, whatever it might be, you could do gratitude journaling, you can.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: I have some friends that we send each other three things we're grateful for in text every day, you know, and it's super powerful.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I'm like, oh, you know, going about my day and just kind of, and then I get that text popping and I'm like, oh, that's right, I get to be grateful, this person's grateful for this, and I, oh, I like that one and I'm going to add, you know, and all of a sudden I'm just everything shifts, you know, I love that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love that.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: I'll text you in a little while, as soon as we're done.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful we did the podcast.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Grateful we did the podcast.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: I do love that and having that community that does the same things to bring you up in the middle of the day when you're, you know, stuck in the normal world, if you will.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: That's powerful.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I love that idea.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely love it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: So let's kind of dive into some trauma stuff We've got.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: We're a little over halfway done with the show, so if we can, let's kind of dive into that.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: So you know, as far as trauma, different people have different aspects or thoughts of what trauma is.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Will you give us some of your thoughts on trauma in general?
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: You know it's interesting because it could be something so intense or it could be something small, but sometimes it has just as much of a lasting effect.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know from someone being told they were an accident because their birth wasn't planned.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: That can be lifelong and they don't even realize it but they never feel like they fit in because they were told that.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: You know to someone experiencing something awful.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: You know cancer, things like that, or people who have been in war.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: You know those.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Those are awful things to have seen.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: So what are some of the?
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: And really, trauma is an event happened.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It's the definition we gave the event and that's why we get stuck in that right and we relive it.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: The trauma happened generally.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Once Our remembering it continues and continues, and that's why it's so powerful for us.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: So talk about you, know your thoughts on that first, and then let's talk about you know ways to mitigate.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Ways to mitigate it, to bring yourself out of it so you can thrive, instead of trying to survive.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: I love what you just said too.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: That's a huge thing for me is getting people out of survival and into thriving.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: And I think number one is that you have to realize that you deserve it.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: Everyone deserves to thrive and a lot of times, because of certain things, we don't feel like we deserve that and so and you know, if you walk into a room, it's much easier to be part of a conversation where we complain and we don't get what we want.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: You know all of these things, so you have to kind of be willing to to step outside of the norm, and hopefully we make this the norm at some point.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: You know that we're talking about wonderful things instead of instead of the crap.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: But you know, when you're, when you're in a something where it's playing over and over, and you're in that loop, you have to do something to interrupt the pattern, right.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: So our computers, our brains, you know they have this thing where when we experience those things, it keeps going and it keeps playing and it keeps playing and it just we get stuck there.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: So how do you get unstuck?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: You have to interrupt the pattern, and I'm sure you probably talk about the stop technique frequently, you know.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: So, pattern interrupt.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: And then do you want me to share about the stop technique, or you know so, pattern interrupt, and then do you do you want me to share about the stop technique or do you?
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: You can do the stop technique or any kind of pattern interrupt just because we've talked about it before.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You know not.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't say that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Everybody hasn't seen every episode, but there's a possibility, so please share.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: So if you're, if you're doing the staff technique, basically you're going to, you're going to feel bad on purpose.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: So whatever that feeling is that happens for you.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I'm going to use the example of someone falling.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's someone who's fallen off a ladder and they keep it's replaying, or it's something you saw.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: You can go to something you saw in the war, because that's probably something more that's prevalent here.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: So it just keeps replaying.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: So you're going to sit down and you're going to feel bad on purpose.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: You're going to feel that feeling and I know you probably think I'm nuts right now because you don't want to feel the feeling.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: But that's part of the problem.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: The feeling wants to have its moment, it wants to be felt and we keep resisting it and what we resist persists, so it's going to keep coming up, keep coming up.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: So you give it a second and you feel it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: And then you're going to, on purpose, feel it and then pattern interrupt, so you actually say the word stop and then, if you're sitting, you stand up, you move your body and you say you could say whatever resonates with you, and maybe it's I am magnificent and you, just because you want to replace, you're creating a space, and so you want to replace something in that space and what you're going to replace it with is something that's wonderful.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: So you know, you remind yourself that you're magnificent, you're wonderful, and maybe part of that whole thing too is some judgment you have about yourself and what you did in this situation or something.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: So that's taking care of that too.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: And then you sit down and you do it again.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: So you do that a good five times and you do it three different times a day, different things.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: You know I like to go 10, depends how hard, how hard it's wired in.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: You know, sometimes I'll even go 10 times.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: So you're practicing it, so you're practicing a pattern interrupts.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: You're practicing feeling good and at the end, too, we want to say yes, because you're celebrating what you just did.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: So you can do that multiple times.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: A three times a day is what I like to do, and you know you want to commit to doing this 10 days in a row.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I love it and I just want to preface something, if we can, is it's an exercise and so the more you do it, the more you build the muscle.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Just like you've already go to the gym, you don't go to the gym one time, come back, come out and say I don't look like Warren Schwarzenegger, I failed.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Come back, come out and say I don't look like Lauren Schwarzenegger, I failed.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: You know you have to do the exercise and the more you do it, the bigger the muscle begins to build and the easier it is.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: And then what happens at the end?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Well, actually, diana, why?
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: don't you tell me why this works.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: That's okay.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: That's okay.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: So you're rewiring your brain.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: So when it comes up, when it actually comes up in the moment, you know you're just driving down the road at some average day and all of a sudden, here it comes, here's this film that plays.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: That crazy lady said to do this thing, and I've been doing it, but it's not helping.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: So that's going to happen, and when it happens, the thing that you would notice in that moment was you caught it, you know.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: So, rather than go, why is it coming up, why isn't it gone yet?
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: The first step is going to be that you're going to catch it.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: So now that I'm live in the moment of feeling like crap cause it's happening, I get to do the stop technique again.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: So in the moment and I mean I've done it in the car, when I have, like, kids in the car and their friends, and so in those moments I'm doing it in my head.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: I prefer to do it out loud and it works best out loud, but if I have a bunch of people around or something you know, then I would do it in my head and then the next time it comes up.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: I didn't judge it Now.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I just went right to the staff technique and then over time it's not going to happen anymore.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: It loses its power over you.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fantastic.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: They keep going through the whole thing.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Because here's the interesting thing Everybody does it a little bit different, so it's good to hear your perspective on it being done and that's the way we were taught.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Just FYI, everybody.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: So you know.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: One of the other things that we do talk about doing it in the car, so something I teach people as well that if you're in a meeting, you're in the car, you're whatever the case may be, you do it in your head, but instead of standing up, you just look up at the ceilings, put a big smile on your face and it automatically releases hormones and snapping you out of it, because all the muscles in your face when you smile, it releases the good hormones automatically.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Your brain doesn't know any different.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: And so when you do that in the car whatever the case may be road rage or whatever it is it's really a magical, magical process.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: So thank you for going through all that.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, so you know.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: So let's see where were we before we got there?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: So trauma, so we're, we're, we're catching ourselves Right, and so it's like okay, I did the stop technique and I'm.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I've been doing this 16 times a day, because Diana's and Mike said, the more you do it, the better I'm going to get at it.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: So what, I'm really good at it.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm really good at it.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I'm really good at snapping myself out of being in that place of starting the spin cycle, whatever the case may be.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: So where do you go from there?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Well, smile would be one thing right, Like you just said, because that's releasing the endorphins, and also celebrating when you do catch it and celebrating the little wins that you have in your life.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: You know, I think a big piece of trauma too is once we have that cloud over our head.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: Everything looks cloudy, you know, and so even doing more things to release that cloud that's over your head, doing the things we talked about before, like you know, planning in some nature, planning in some grounding, those types of things are super important.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Also, when thoughts come in of you know, oh, maybe this could happen Again, those things want to be heard.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: So if you acknowledge it and say maybe it is, maybe it could happen, but there's also other things that could happen, and just kind of open yourself up to possibilities, yeah, I love that.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: And the more you do that, the how do I say this I'm going to say, the easier it is to deal with these things Right, because trauma doesn't just go away because you say I want it to right.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: In fact, the more you think about the trauma and the more you're focused on the trauma, the worse the trauma will become, because unless you do it in a positive way, that you're breaking down the trauma.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: So I'd like to again where are we at on time?
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, I lost where my timer was.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, I lost where my timer was.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: So can you give us some tips and thoughts on how to break free of the trauma, to change the definition of what it actually meant to that person and everybody's different?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: The patterns are very similar, but the stories are different.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Right, right and interesting.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: You use the word story because we all create a story for what it meant, right?
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: So we have something happen and we have this story behind it and, honestly, there's so much research done that the way we play it back in our head is actually worse than the way that it actually happened in most cases.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: So you know, just knowledge of that.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Also, when we have these emotions that we like literally 90 seconds, you don't want to get lost in it, you know.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: So sit down and feel that anger and let it out of your body.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: You know, and this is probably not something you're going to do with a couple of kids, but you know, I felt that I think you really just released something I've gotten pretty good at it, you know or cry and it's so funny because you know there's so many people who take pride in that they haven't cried in years and it's not healthy, you know.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: So you have to be able to able and willing to let the emotions flow through and be kind and gentle to yourself in the process, and you know, doing it by yourself is great if you have, you know, a coach or someone to help you, even better.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: But your feelings for yourself are the big thing too.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: So loving yourself through that and taking away the judgment are the big thing too.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: So loving yourself through that and taking away the judgment there's so much judgment, you know.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: So the other thing is and it's probably a little bit down the road is can you reframe it?
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: You know so.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Can I reframe it and can I see that somehow this trauma was good in my life?
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I'll give you an example for me, you know I mean, we had it before.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: For me.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I was in an abusive relationship.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: I'm thankful for that at this point, because I'm doing this and I'm helping people now.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: You know, I've had a good bit of trauma in my life and I've gotten to here because of it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: So taking that, you know, because some people will be like how can you say that was a good thing?
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: You know well.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: And the other thing is acceptance.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: You know it happened and we want to.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: We spend so much time wanting to change the past and that past has such a hold on us because we keep wanting to change it and we can't.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: So if you accept that it is what it is and you kind of put it in the past and you keep your focus forward and you keep your focus on actually caring how you feel and doing things that feel good, and they'll tie together because we're like magnets, so we just keep attracting what we're putting out.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: So if I'm putting feel good stuff out, I'm getting feel good stuff back.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: You know, it's so funny how we look at our past and we're trying to escape our past.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: You know, I learned a long time ago and I just want to add to this, talking about our own stories, for a second is my past, is what made me who I am today.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I, you know those bad things.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: If you can change that perspective and reframe like Diana said, reframe it into I learned from that.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: It didn't happen to me, it happened for me, Right?
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I am who I am now and I'm proud of who I am.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Am I perfect?
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: No, but guess what?
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I'm going to learn from that too, and I'm going to be even better tomorrow.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: And if you can switch those traumas and those things into something that it made me stronger, for instance, I learned how to do this because of it.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: I learned there's resources and I help other people because of it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: You know, there's so many things that we block ourselves of goodness that comes out of bad things, or we think they're bad at the time, but really they're gifts.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And it can be a horrible thing and if you look and you have an open mind, you can find the good in it.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: You can find something that made you better from it if you're open to it.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: So I really love that you brought that up.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: I think that's huge.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: And throwing into that, too, forgiveness and I think one of the biggest people that we get to forgive is ourself First and being on here maybe there's people who you know shot someone during war and things like that, and I can only imagine how that feels, you know, because I haven't experienced that.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: But forgive yourself, love yourself.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: You know again, you can't change it, but you can love yourself.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: And if you're punishing yourself, you're typically punishing those around you too, and you're not, you know you're not doing things that you otherwise could be.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: So forgive yourself and then love yourself through that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: And I think forgiving ourselves is the hardest person to forgive.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: You said that and it's it's also you know a lot of veterans it's I wasn't there for my buddy, I wasn't there for the soldier next to me.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Something happened, but you know what it's.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: It's something happened and you know and I deal with this a lot with veterans, and so I always tell people forgiveness is number one and, like you said, Diana, it's perfect.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: It starts with yourself.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: You have to forgive yourself.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: In fact, I just had a conversation yesterday with somebody about this.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Here's my perspective on that, and I know we're already over time, but let's go, we own the place.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: So if you can look back in your life and you can say and I think everybody can do this at some point in their life I was doing the best I could for who I was at the time, that's perfect.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: I was doing the best I could for who I was at the time, For yourself first.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: And here's a powerful one, and I just got to chill.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Michelle Odette Green calls them God bumps.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I've had a lot today.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: I've had a lot, amen.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: But if you can look yourself in the mirror and say that to yourself, it's very powerful.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, look in your eyes and your soul and do it.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel emotion, so just try it and then celebrate.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: You did it every time.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Pat yourself on the back, literally dance, do whatever you need to, but celebrate it to again release those good hormones and stuff like that.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: But if we can start there and then, like you said, diana, just start with yourself, because I think that is the most powerful, and then move to other people, other things, whether it be oh, I didn't do that right with my kids and I would have done it differently.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Well, again, you know that now.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: You didn't know it then.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: And then the last thing I want to say about it is how many times have you said oh man, if I would have known that then you weren't supposed to, you weren't open for it yet.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: And give that to yourself.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: You know it now.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Use it now, because now is the gift.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: So that sorry, I went on a rant.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I think that's good information.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: So, thank you.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Thank you, diana.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: How do people reach out to you if they want to talk to you and so on, like that?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I have a Facebook group they could join if they wanted to.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: It's Soaring Heights Business and Life Coaching.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: My website is SoaringHeightsCoachingcom and my email is SoaringHeightsAtMyYahoocom.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I love Soaring Heights.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: I want to take you to Soaring Heights.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Absolutely and, if you can, I know Susan is on here, thank.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you, susan.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: By the way, my love uh for adding stuff in and putting stuff in for people.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: But, um, diana, if there's any other ones you want to put in that we didn't catch, please feel free to put in all social media stuff.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, and we're almost done here.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: We need three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Be gentle.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: Be really gentle with yourself.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: That is key.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Let go of all judgment.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: If you can start living without judgment, switch right and wrong for working or not working.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: This works for me.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: This doesn't work for me instead.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: And number three celebrate, celebrate, celebrate Even the little, teeny, tiny wins.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: You know everybody's on their own path and in a different place, and your nervous system loves it when you celebrate, and then again that magnet comes in, so it's wanting more things to celebrate, so celebrate.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: And if you feel like it's gloating or something, come on to my Facebook group and I would love for you to celebrate the heck out of everything.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Absolutely love it.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, celebration man, you know, I just it is the thing we do, probably the least that we should do the most.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: So thank you for saying that to, uh, to our audience, and um, I, I soaked that in all day long, so thank you.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: So, with that said, everybody guess what we're done.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: We're six minutes over, but it was fantastic.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Diana, thank you so much for being on today.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: You know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: We don't get it back.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you for spending a few minutes of your life with us to spread knowledge and resources and things like that.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: We're so honored.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: You're so welcome.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: All right, everybody, we're out of here.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: All right, everybody, we're out of here.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.