Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Mental health coversation w Dr Whitney ( the return of whitney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Transcript

Mental health coversation w Dr Whitney ( the return of whitney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Welcome to an exciting episode of Pete for Siding. Before we get started today, go ahead and check out my partner PsychPAL guys. Go check out the link in the bio by the way too, because you mentioned Pete in the checkout process. You get 20 % off your first month subscription. With that being said, let's please welcome back the return of the one, only from episode number 65, the one, the only Whitney, Dr. Whitney in fact. Whitney, how you doing doll? Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. Natalie: Hola, I'm doing good. How are you Pete? Pete: ⁓ man, I've been fantastic. I've been busy as hell. But it's so great you're back. I know we had a great time the first time. So why don't you tell me what you've been up to since then? peter: Show ⁓ Pete: It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Natalie: Since then, what was that last year? Pete: Mm hmm. That was really odd. 65 is around what do you got 300 now? Jesus, we're far into this thing. Natalie: I know, right? I have since ⁓ left my dad's house. I know that was a big thing that was going on in the last kind of podcast that we were a part of. And I have a home that my kids and I live in now. ⁓ am recently, I just opened up my own salon and then actually closed it. Because the process is really hard. ⁓ And then I'm still doing hair just on. TikTok just trying to live the dream pretty much. So that's it. Pete: Right? Well, that's good. So I know when we were talking though, you mentioned a lot of people reaching out after our first interview. So what was it like? Was that very shocking for people to start messaging you? Like, ⁓ God, people saw this? Natalie: It was like it was shocking, but at the same time, very humbling. I never really thought that my story would reach out to people, not to mention the fact that it reached all the way to the UK. That was really, really, really cool that, you know, I got the opportunity to possibly in the future do a podcast with somebody in the UK. That was really cool. A lot of my friends on TikTok, know, a lot of people that I interact with every single day didn't even know. that I was struggling with my mental health ⁓ on a daily basis and ⁓ kind of let me know that things are gonna be okay. And then Ashley asked me questions about their own mental health. So it was very humbling, very eye-opening, and at the same time, kind of, I mean, it makes you feel good that you're doing something good. Pete: Yeah, because you're telling your story, you're not sure how people are going to react to it, know, and things like that as well because... Natalie: Yeah, I thought was gonna be like a little bit of negativity. People would be like, ⁓ you're crazy. It was all positive. exactly. I mean, I get it now ever so often, like when I go live, but I mean, who's gonna really? Pete: Or they say, ⁓ you're playing the victim and all that other shit they like to say. Yeah, fuck them. Yeah, your chat, your chat, don't just, yeah, anyways, your chat something else down there, man. It's like the, the savagery that goes on in there. It's just, it's just amazing the way people act about things. And they're just like, well, she's a pretty girl. So now I'm going to insult her. I'm like, I don't think that's, this is not the one guys. I don't think so. Natalie: I know. I speak to myself. Yep. What don't hurt you makes you stronger. So there you go. Pete: Right. So, you know, when your friends are asking things, did you find any that had any similarities to stories like you had or anything like similar to you that kind of matched up? Natalie: Yeah, ⁓ a lot of BPD, a lot of BPD that did not know that they had BPD. And you guys, bless Pete's heart, I'm really not a real doctor. I know, I think I am, allegedly. But no, just the process with BPD and learning about my own BPD, know, BPD is not cared by ⁓ any kind of medicine. ⁓ It's strictly therapy. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: Like you got to go talk about it and things like that of that nature. And it's, and it stems from your childhood. ⁓ so a lot of people were just blaming their parents for how they were feeling. And so that's the main thing that I got with a lot of BPD. Of course, the bipolar comes with a lot of people don't want to be associated or labeled as bipolar, but the more I talk to some people, you kind of know the symptoms and the signs, but that I feel like Pete, like that. Pete: Yeah. Natalie: literally take somebody else to find that out for themselves. I don't feel the need to tell somebody, hey, guess what? I think you're bipolar. I don't think that's very fair. But the BPD, definitely I can relate. Offer them like, just go to therapy. It makes a world of difference. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. You know, with BPD, a lot of people always associate it as a horror moment and all the bad things you hear about it, you know, and the girl I was talking to recently before we started talking, she had BPD as well. You know, it's just it was fascinating because we had an expert on the show. So when we seen each other, I had an expert in the field that has actually that's what she specializes in. BPD was one of the things that she would really talk about. So she came on the show and we were talking about it for a bit. But, you know, it's Natalie: Mm-hmm. Pete: I think that it gets a bad rap, honestly. think a lot of people just don't realize what you guys deal with on the other side of the coin. And I know me and somebody else were discussing this too, it just like, it's like, a lot of people don't want to put in the work. They don't want to do the research and understand like what it is that you're dealing with. And then, you know, cause everything that you guys do is magnified. You know, they're like, ⁓ she's overreacting. But is she really though, are you really not understanding the fact that how she's it from her perspective, you know? Natalie: Mm-hmm. Pete: ⁓ And you know, it has to be hard when you're dating people too, because like you tell them that you're, I have BPD and then they look at you like, what is that? And then you have to break it down for them. You know what I mean? Like they look at you and then you're like, they're like, wait, what? Huh? Natalie: especially that like because people just think that you just don't like your parents or you don't like your childhood. ⁓ In my case, I mean, I'm very upfront with people that I date or that I'm, you know, that I'm, I'm, feel like I'm going to be in a relationship with about all of my mental health struggles and things that I've been diagnosed with. mean, I just got re-diagnosed with ⁓ complex bipolar. So not only am I manic, but now I'm also depressive. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. ⁓ okay. Natalie: Not, but probably three months ago, I took a break, not even three months ago, maybe a month ago. I took a break from TikTok and I remember thinking, why would you take a break? It's really not that serious. But honestly, I took a break from TikTok because I just needed to get my mind right. I actually put myself in the hospital. Like it's just, ⁓ with my mental health, I needed to be re diagnosed with some things. So I have complex bipolar now. Pete: Mm-hmm. Natalie: ⁓ I spent a whole week in bed not doing anything, not even being able to get up, barely taking my kids to school or taking care of them in fact. And these are literally all, these are daily struggles of people with bipolar BPD. have OCD, what did we say, LNOP last time, anxiety, depression. ⁓ do, I mean, it's all these different things and... ⁓ I don't it's not a label to me. It's breaking it down to where I can look it up. And not only with my therapist or my doctor, which I do have a psychiatrist and I have amazing therapists who are finally somewhere in my life. It takes it takes a long time to get that right antidote. And even still to this day, we're still switching out my meds, trying to figure out like what works, you know, things like that. And I don't Pete: Yeah. Natalie: I was heavily medicated in the beginning, I think because they were trying to figure out exactly what it was that was pinpointed that needed to be addressed. ⁓ Now going from nine medications when I finally learned what was going on in my head, like now I'm only on three. I'm only on. Pete: Jesus, I can only imagine the side effects you had with nine of them. Like my co-host that you'll meet, my co-host that you're gonna eventually meet though, she had like, I think she said she had 18 of them or something. We'll have to discuss it when we see her again, how many it was exactly. She had a lot too though, but that's crazy. You went nine to three. I mean, three is better though, honestly. That's great though that you're constantly working on it though. Natalie: ⁓ my gosh. Well, I have a seizure. Yeah, over... Mm-hmm constantly and like we just switched out my ⁓ Anti like and just because I'm on an anti-psychotic doesn't mean I'm psychotic like it's just all these words and things like that that I think that's why they Do the shortness bipolar BPD OCD because when you hear them loud and clear with what like, ⁓ you know ⁓ Behavioral what is it ⁓ BPD is ⁓ I can't even think right now Pete: borderline personality disorder. Natalie: personality disorder. That sounds like you got about five or six personality personalities, and it's nowhere near that at all. That's not even what it means. So same thing with bipolar, like you have complex bipolar. Well, now she's even complex, like, you know, so it's just, I think it's more or less what happened the last time that I was on here is the people reaching out and saying, Hey, I think I might be this or that that you spoke about. It's really eye opening. And I was glad that I could kind of low key kind of help those people. Pete: Yeah. That'd be nice though, because you're connecting people you've never met and they're like, hey, listen, I saw your episode. The fact that they saw it, that means a lot to me always just because like I get emails now, people are like, hey, listen, I watched your episode with so and so. You know, it's usually a guest pitch coming right afterwards, but it's great to hear that people are actually listening to it. You know, and when you were telling me that, was like, that's awesome. I'm glad that people reaching out to you. And you were saying that they're reaching out to your friends too and how to get ahold of you as well. Like, hey, listen, how do I get ahold of her? Natalie: day out. my friends that were in here that day, because it was live the day that we shot the last one. And I had a few friends in here, you know, like, think six came in or something like that. ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, wait a minute. I think you had actually you had like 15 people. You still hold the record the most people in the room. I think somebody else got close. Our friend Wanda from another podcast, she is no longer doing, but she came on and she almost had it too, because I was mentioning the number to her as we were going. I said, just, know, the most people ever in this room while we were actively live was 15. It was held by you. And she was like, we were mentioning them to as we go. I'm like signaling to her as we go people, people are showing up. And she was just excited because all these people are coming to listen because she has BPD as well. Natalie: They just go. Mm-hmm. Pete: You know, it's interesting because you had it and then somebody 14 episodes in the original series had it too. She was the lead singer of a band. She's doing like a million downloads now. God, what is she doing? Touring now? But she had BV as well. That's the first time we had somebody come on that mentioned it. And then when you came on, you made it very great. You made an interesting statement at the end of the show. And I use that as a clip for everybody. I I want you all to listen to what she's saying right now. And you said it. You're like, you said, I have these things. They don't identify me as a person. Natalie: Mm-hmm. Thanks Wow, that's healthy. Yeah. Pete: which is a powerful statement because you're telling it, well, guess what? I have these things, but that doesn't identify me as Natalie. This is just me or whatever, you know? Natalie: Yep. And I feel like ⁓ they don't identify you. A lot of people wouldn't even know. They would just think I'm like a fun girl, lucky girl that was maybe a little crazy, you know, which is fine. But when it comes down to it and I get off of, you know, TikTok or social platforms or whatever platform I may be on at the time, a lot of people don't know the struggle that you have. And it has really honestly nothing to do with actual social media. Pete: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Natalie: It's just what you've known basically. I was talking to a friend of mine on TikTok the other night. People put certain things in your head as to what, how you're supposed to act, how you're supposed to be on these, these certain things that you're labeled as. And that's really not what it is. ⁓ We all deal with our own struggles and our own right. And I feel like coming out and speaking about bipolar. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Natalie: BPD, OCD, anxiety, even the smallest of things as a panic attack, which is not small in anybody's brain when you're actually going through it. It's huge. But at the same time, it's okay. Like you feel like at the moment you're not going to get through it, but you do. Do you what I'm saying? I, yeah, as a community and a mental health community, I mean, it's huge right now. Mental health is ginormous. And ⁓ I was actually, Pete: Yeah. Yeah, no, I get you completely. Mm-hmm. Natalie: I was actually going to tell you ⁓ about like a little bit about the story that like had a rise since or has become even a little bit bigger in my life. ⁓ I think I mentioned it in the last one, how I got arrested. ⁓ Pete: ⁓ yeah, yeah, we talked slightly bit about it, but that's it. I don't think we went deep into it, so. Natalie: It's huge right now and in my life, it's kind of taken over. That was another reason why I kind of got off social media as well. I just felt like me talking about it maybe wasn't the right time, but now ⁓ dealing with some of the things that have come up about it ⁓ is just not right. ⁓ Like we spoke the other day about how there's a DUI task force. DUI, ⁓ so. Pete: Mm. Natalie: Do you want me to back up a little bit and just kind of remind them or? Okay, so in 2023 I had gotten pulled over ⁓ for allegedly ⁓ a Well, I did not maintain my lane because my phone had fallen. Of course, you know how that goes I didn't know where I going. I was lost my directions were on the floor now in my car And so I kind of reached over to get my phone on a two-lane highway and there just happened to be a police officer behind me He pulled me over Pete: You go ahead if you want to, Yeah. Natalie: ⁓ and pulled me out of the car and couldn't believe that like I swerved off the road like that just because of my phone and ⁓ asked me to do some sobriety checks. So I complied. I did the sobriety checks. I did the breathalyzer. did the whole, you know, walk the line and da da da eyes and whatever. He was asking me why my eyes were twitching all odd. Pete: ⁓ yeah. Natalie: And I had mentioned to him, said, well, you're not the first one to say that because I am bipolar. I'm on certain medications. And at this moment I was on gabapentin. If you know anything about gabapentin, it's, I mean, it is what it is. You have your own, you know, kind of, I guess, notions about it would be the word. I don't, opinions, whatever. Mine since this time has not been that great. caused me to have a seizure. ⁓ Finally, I found that out not too long ago. ⁓ I am now epileptic because I took it for so long. ⁓ But anyways, the officer asked me why my eyes were twitching so bad and I couldn't give him anything because I didn't know at that moment that it was due to gabapentin. ⁓ so he, long story short, I actually got arrested for DUI when I wasn't told what I blew into the breathalyzer. I was not drinking that night. I know for a fact I was not drinking that night. My story has never wavered. My story has been the exact same story since day one. ⁓ Same, you know, just the same things that happened that night. And the officer has not turned in his paperwork that he didn't even fill out. Just like all these different factors that have happened through this. But like we were speaking the other night, I think if there was a mental health, not advocate, but officer, that knew the signs maybe of ⁓ medication that you could be on for your mental health because it is such a big, I don't like to say issue because it's not an issue, but such a big ⁓ community involvement. Yeah. Right now people are finally recognizing mental health. Like I love it. Like I'm here for it all day, but maybe they could call an officer just like they would a DUI officer out. Pete: It's big thing though, know, like we talked about. Yeah. Natalie: to maybe see, I think maybe I wouldn't have gone to jail. And I think maybe a lot of different people wouldn't be in jail or dealing with the legal issues that they are right now. ⁓ Because they're still trying to say that somehow I was on something and ⁓ I refused to blood draw. So that's why I went to jail. And when I got to jail, they didn't even give me a blood draw. So it was just, it's just a huge ordeal and I am on the verge. I didn't even tell you this, Pete, you're gonna die. I'm on the verge of not even dealing with a lawyer and doing it myself because I have gone through and looked through so many different cases that this is an issue. Just a lot of people don't recognize mental health, the side effects of maybe their medicine. Now, I'm not saying if you're on Xanax or something, get in your car and take it down a two lane road and then say, ⁓ I'm on the mental health medicine. you know, like that's really not what I'm trying to say. But you have to take it from a person's perspective like me. I'm on zero narcotics. I don't take any narcotics for my mental health, things like that. I feel like what we talked about the other day is a huge, like I really feel like I. Pete: Yeah. Well, you know, I did interview a lawyer from Florida that does mental law. I'll have to ask him if he knows anybody in your area, if he by chance knew anybody that way. But he was telling me some wild stories. He said in Florida, though, if you're not careful, you could just you could just disappear into the whole system. I was like, you can disappear. I was like, it's crazy. Natalie: what it's almost four years two thousand and twenty three years two thousand and twenty three no it'll be four years in September So almost, it's just like, and I just don't, feel like the mental health officers need to come on out just like a drug, like a DUI or drug task force or whoever. Pete: No, I agree with you. I think that was a great point you made there, though, you know, because I know that I believe in our town, we have one there's somebody that specializes in that. If in those situations they've come out and run out and they'd handle those issues, that kind of thing. So they bring them in because they're ready for it. I think you have a real great point. They should be training somebody for these situations to come out and handle those kind of situations because you don't know like what they're about to get into. At least that person's ready to go at hand. You hey, listen, Colin, so and so this is an issue falls for them, you know, and have them come out and handle it because, know, like you said, Natalie: nothing like that. Pete: your drugs were giving you the side effects, you know, and you were taking it. You were taking a crazy ass amount to always like 2400 you said. Natalie: Oh my God, at that moment I was actually on 1600 milligrams of gabapentin a day, like three times a day I was taking like 600 milligrams or something like that. And that's a lot. And then shortly after that had happened, I had a seizure. So if that is to tell you anything, I mean, an unprovoked seizure, which I've never had in my entire life, a seizure. And so yeah, I just don't, I don't. Pete: Jesus man, that's insane. Natalie: I feel like in my town, I know there's nothing like that. And it's even hard to get my lawyer to even kind of go with the mental health thing, which is really sad. Pete: Yeah, you you've you figured there'd be some more lawyers that do that. Like I said, Mark is the guy we met from Florida. And when I saw his because I was looking through my profile site where I book people now to and that came across, I said, Mark, I want you to come on. And I told him I pitched him. say, Mark, I you to come on and talk about this because we don't you don't hear people talk about these things at all, you know, and things like that. And Mark was really cool, though, man. He was like he said he's one of those people in Florida that they don't want to talk to. He's like my firm every time it pops up. Natalie: Mm-hmm. Pete: You better believe somebody's worried about what's happening next because they know I'm coming in fighting hard for these guys. You know, and it was great. You know, so like I said, I'll have to ask him if he knows anybody in your state that he could suggest, you know, things like that too, because, know, he was the first one actually got on like that because I was like, damn, you know, lot of people don't talk about these things. You know, what about mental flaws for people? Because it gets complex because, you know, a lot of people with different disorders have like different things that they react to, you know, and they act it was like people like, you know, multiple personality sort now is called D.I.D. now. Natalie: Great, yeah. Pete: you know, I met somebody the other day, I was talking to and they said they knew somebody that had it, you know, and they stay through it. Unless you knew what to look for, you wouldn't know, honestly, is what her her ex-sponsor. She's like, unless you really knew what mannerisms to look for, because it's not really like so much like a whole nother person is kind of hold their person. But it's like those little twitches that happen that you can see like certain looks in people's faces, you know, little mannerisms. And you know, she was telling us about like, hey, watch out for one of them. Natalie: we would ever know. Pete: because they're dangerous, which was similar to a story a girl I met after we interviewed. Another woman told me she had sent me this interview, this little girl who's like, was she like 18 or something? had to go get her mom help. The way she did it, she had to interview 25 different personalities her mom had just to get her help because nobody believed that she had multiple personalities at the time. And it was a wild interview too, because you're listening to this girl talk about it. And she said 25 different personalities, 25 different handwritings. I was like this. Natalie: Wow. Pete: It was an interesting story to hear because when I interviewed the woman that had done it with her, she was talking to me about it. And I was like, dude, I got to hear this. This is crazy. And it was, it was like, I'm listening to this thing. This little girl is having to go through this whole thing just to get her parents some help. it's insane. You know, and the other thing too is that a few people I was talking to, we were talking about how they can't even afford their medicine most times because it's like $3,000 for this stuff. Natalie: while That's wild. be no way I would be able to afford my medicine. One of my medicines, like my Depakote for my seizures is $75 like a month. There's no way like that's I mean, and that's cheap compared to a lot of the things that other people, you know, take or whatever. And I mean, the fact that like, yeah, I'm only on three meds, but they're three pretty like pricing. Oh, my gosh. Pete: Mm-hmm. Well, three is better than where you were. Let's be honest, man. You know it down by a lot. Natalie: Like it literally was me Pete, like it was literally me just trying to like, so you know that something is going on, like where are you? Some of them just are just there to just take. feel like they're not coinciding with all of them. Like now I can tell if I don't take this and then this is going to co co act with this one and then if I miss this or whatever and It was not like that. Like I was just taking whatever just to be and that's all you do. You're just numb. Not living life. Not like insane that you can't live life because you have all these issues, mental health issues or it's not true. Like it's really not true. And, and, and I'm telling you, you guys F all the meds. Like if you can therapy, therapy is huge. Like I'm not saying I can't Pete: Yeah. Yeah, no. Natalie: There are certain things I can't, like I have no lithium in my body and my brain. ⁓ You know, that's what the doctors say. And Depakote keeps me from having more seizures. So thinking of the fact that I drive with my kids in the car and that I could have a seizure at any moment, I kind of have to stay on those two. ⁓ And then the other ones are just like anti-psychotic meds. I mean, it's just... Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: to kind of keep me from having anxiety and staying in the bed and not being able to take care of myself or my kids or anything like that, because it does happen. But more or less, like therapy is huge. Just talking about it is huge. Pete: Yeah, in lot, well, know, in therapy is big for most people nowadays, there's hypnotherapy, there's, there's a whole list of things nowadays you can do, which is great though, because if that therapy wasn't working for you, there's other options out there. Natalie: hard to. Mm-hmm like I've done the ketamine therapy Pete: Mm-hmm. Natalie: It's like you have diarrhea of the mouth when you're on that thing. And it's like, it's very, it's, you have to have somebody come pick you up. mean, obviously it is straight, it is ketamine. And ⁓ you literally just lay there and you have a therapist in the room. It's great for BPD. It is great for BPD. Like it's amazing. And anything else that could be associated with your past, like any kind of childhood trauma where if it's, you know, Pete: Yeah. Natalie: God forbid molestation, rape, anything of those sorts. It helps so much. And yes, is an narcotic. Yes, it is that kind of labeled kind of thing. But the mind clearance that you have afterwards is, well, it's amazing. Pete: Yeah, especially after the first time we met in the story you told us in the roller coaster. We took a ride on. Let me tell you what. Yeah, that's great to hear, because the first time we met, God knew that we had no idea what we were about to get into this conversation. ⁓ Natalie: ⁓ my god. Nobody does like literally nobody does and like Pete: It was legendary. I'm going to tell you right now, you had the number one spot for the wildest story ever told in this show until season three's opener just blew it out the water. And we talked about that when we talked the other night. I was telling you a little bit about it and I was just like. Natalie: Yeah, I hate them. I listened to like a little bit of it. Yeah, that's wild Pete: telling him I'm telling him. You know what saying? Like, you know, it's crazy because you never know I met this girl and she was real sweet. You never knew you had not a single clue these things that she went through, you know, and that's why you know, it goes to say that you know, a lot of people when they make judgments other people on social media and things like that. It's just Natalie: ⁓ God, like you deserve it. Look at how you look. Look at how you, that's what I get. Look at how you dress. Look at how you look. Don't you think? Pete: Yeah, that whole thing too, the whole stigma around being just being a pretty person because I always tell people like, you you have my friend Whitney. So let me tell you, she blow you away. But the conversation to have with you, everyone automatically go based on what stereotypes say about her. But she is nothing like that at all. And I always told everybody the same thing. I was like, yeah, you got to meet her, man. She's really cool, man. And ever since we met, since the first time we met, you've always been like well spoken. We remember the first, in fact, the first time we talked, we had a real great conversation the first time we even met, though. Natalie: Two hours long, like, it's not longer. Pete: You know what saying? Like, you know, and that was the thing. It's like, you know, but you, you see these people and the things they say and all these crazy things they say. And it's like, you know, even they just stereotype you completely. But I'm like, you know, no, think you guys are writing her off too much. And I knew there was something there when we were started talking. I was like, okay, and everybody kept saying, oh yeah, you need to talk to her. And then when we interviewed and afterwards, I was just like, holy shit, dude, like this poor girl. Natalie: Yeah, I don't, I'm not gonna lie and not saying my story is any better than anybody else's. don't think it's like any kind of competition for anything, but like it's just, you cannot judge a book by its cover. That's, that's the oldest living kind of quote. I think that to me there ever is. And it's just, you, you can't do that because I struggle if every day with, with everything. And it's just like, Pete: ⁓ no. Mm-hmm. Natalie: you know, the things that I've done in the past, stupid decisions I make now, like, you know, like it's just, ⁓ but I know one thing is that if you feel any kind of, that you need help, go with your gut, like literally just go with your gut because I've had ideations, I've had all kinds of things, you know, it's just, it's not the, I'm just trying to plug my, my. Pete: Yeah. Natalie: suicide kind of thing. It's not because I have lost two people since we spoke the last time to to suicide due to mental health that they Pete: Yeah, that's horrible. So question for you, how many them were guys? Natalie: Actually, one of them was. The other one was transitioning to a girl. So actually they were part, but ⁓ we didn't really associate with her. She was just so, and these come with, ⁓ to tell you the truth, I've never even met these two people ⁓ in real life. So it's all on social media or a platform or some sort of. Pete: Okay. The only reason I ask you that... ⁓ Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: of social media. Pete: Yeah, yeah, but it's still hard because it's guys, because if you look at the statistics, the one I for it was 80%. Usually it's 80%. You'll see you so far we're at like 140,000 in February at least due to suicide. The rates in young gentlemen at the age of 10 to 14 is on the uprise. You know, so yeah, that's. Natalie: That's a lot. Mm-hmm. And they were young 20s 20s. I remember my 20s. I didn't know shit in my 20s But you think you know everything and that's what actually I think I told you to the other day that there is a little boy in cases in my son's school Who had committed suicide ⁓ like an elementary age because it all yelled at him like Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Natalie: what in the world? Like that's allegedly that's what was said. And wrote this best of his note that he could and saying that my mom yelled at me and I felt like I disappointed her pretty much. He was afraid. And then at that age, they don't like guns or anything. They're like taking their sister's shoelaces or whatever and like hanging themselves. Or things like that. It's awful. It's awful. And for my son to have to deal with that in the school, please, like I was going to say too, I didn't think I told you my daughter had her first panic attack her senior year in high school. And that's a lot. And it is genetic. I feel like I don't know how you feel about that comment, but Pete: Damn. Yeah. I think some of the things aren't genetic though. I do know that it runs in the genes or whatever. ⁓ But my question though for you though is for your son, are you concerned with the rise of that number going up though? Is that an everyday concern for you? you don't, do you have open conversations with him about mental health right now? Do you talk to him a little bit and check in with him and say, listen, I'm asking you and explain why. ⁓ that's good though. what mean? Natalie: do actually I so he plays his little games on his phone and things like that. And I can tell when he gets kind of agitated with the games because he'll go upstairs because he does the whole like kind of trying to control his anger but it still comes out really loud. And I try to like you have to like try to go up there don't ignore it. Please God don't ignore it. Like anytime that your child is getting angry at any kind of game that's really not Pete: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: to them, it's everything, but in the big picture, it's not. So please just try to talk to them. literally I go all the way, take my ass, I get up, I go all the way upstairs and I sit on the bed with him. like, what are you? And he'll tell me, I'm not mad at my game. Like, of course, you know, they don't want you to think, and they even know it's wrong to get mad at these games because they tell you they're not mad at them. And so I think if you talk to your kids and say, well, can I, I ask them like, Pete: Yeah. Natalie: Tell me how you're feeling about it. It's that simple. Like, and for them to know that you care, instead of just screaming, don't yell or dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Like I've been at a friend's house and she just is like, that's inappropriate. Like just screaming across the house at her kid. Do you know what I'm saying? Like if you go upstairs and ask them like why they're getting so angry at a game, at least let them know to me, this is how I feel that you care. Pete: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: about them being angry about something, that you're not just yelling at them for making a noise. Pete: Yeah. And you're noticing that something's wrong, too, is the thing as well. So they feel like you're you're seeing them and they're being upset because, know, like I said, we me and a few other podcasters got together, we had a discussion. And in fact, we looked at the statistics of social media for kids. And it was what was he said, like over 58 percent had recorded that it was negative effects on their mental health. Now, my following question to you is, you do limit his access to social media like that? I he plays his games online. Natalie: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Pete: But he's not on any of these other sites or anything, is he? Natalie: No, he does not have any social media. ⁓ he does not have any TikTok, no Snapchat, no, and he is 11 by the way. ⁓ but, ⁓ he has none of that. ⁓ and I monitor his phone anytime that he download or tries to even download anything. It comes straight to my phone to where I can see either I can approve it or not approve it. ⁓ and then on top of that, anytime anybody, you guys, these things are available on your phone. Pete: That's good. Natalie: I promise you so much. It's takes a lot to call Apple because nobody answered but Nobody will answer I promise you if you say you're trying to get your child's phone To where you control it. I promise you somebody won't answer you ⁓ So because they don't want to be liable for that crap. That's what I've come to figure out But my son cannot even speak to anybody on roblox ⁓ Minecraft nothing like that Pete: ⁓ yeah, yeah, that's Tor, yeah, I remember we were talking about that. Yeah. Natalie: without it coming to me first. And that I'm talking about, he was just at the lake, which is about three hours from us. And I can see that somebody had messaged him on Roblox and it came to me first and not to him, whether I approve it not, because he does have friends on Roblox. know, other people that I get on social media with on TikTok, ⁓ our kids are friends on Roblox and I prefer it that way because I know their parents and I know what kind of people. Pete: Yeah, yeah, because we were talking about that. Remember how there were predators hidden on roadblocks and then one guy was getting in trouble for calling them out. And then he got a cease and desist to quit. I'm like, well, why roadblocks? Why are you going to stop him from pointing out the fact that your predator is hiding in your website that is meant for children? You know, so now now the reverse question now is for your daughter. Are you worried about her access to soldier mean? Do you have open conversations with her as well? Because I know you guys talk about like everything. Natalie: AR. Mm-hmm. That's wild. Mm-hmm. We do talk about everything. My daughter is 17. ⁓ She will be 18 here in a couple of months and be a grown up early. Like I can't do nothing about nothing by the time they turn 18. You can forget it. ⁓ So, and she graduates this year as well. I feel like once they graduate high school, they might as well be 18 because they feel like they're their own person. But no, my daughter has all the social media and I have tried. Pete: Yeah. Awesome. Right? Natalie: to talk to her. Her generation is so. I guess my son and her are the same generation. I'm not sure. They are. Pete: Yeah, they probably would be in the phone the same one probably. Yeah. Natalie: So seven years is it or how many years of it? Pete: I think we're right in the right range from them being the same generation, honestly. Yeah. Natalie: So it's really close whether or not one or the other and I feel like cases if they are different I feel like this latter age of my daughter generation is more old-school more loving more Caring more about people's feelings, which is great because my daughter generation they About what they you know what I'm saying, you know ⁓ Her social media is very much Pete: Hmm. Yeah, yeah. Natalie: monitored by her dad. Pete: ⁓ okay. I don't blame him though. mean, because the things that go on social media, the things that get said to these younger girls is disgusting because like there's this girl I saw this video that was that she was talking about going to my first dance or show the dress up. There's grown men in the comments going, well, I bet you dress so good on my floor. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. What? Natalie: ⁓ It is You know, it's crazy is that like, so I don't know where, what kind of friend group that she got ahold of that where they don't even have their comments on. Like it's very rare that they have a comment on like where you can leave a comment on TikTok or on Instagram. And then on top of that, you see things in the media about like nudes or this or that the girls are sending. They're like, I ain't sending nothing. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: Number one, because somebody has come in my daughter's school and scared the shit out of them about child pornography. If you send an ⁓ undisclosed nude to even somebody your own age, that's still child pornography. And I don't know if you know how many years in prison that is. It's a lot. And you're labeled a sex offender. Pete: Yeah. Oh, there's a lot. It's a lot. It's something you don't want to be because you have to live you have to register as a sex offender too for that kind of thing. Oh, that's off. Yeah. Natalie: for the rest of your life. Yeah. So please reiterate that to your teenagers 100 % if you even feel I don't feel like my daughter's doing that. But at the same time, you never know if they get infatuated with somebody there's no telling but her dad has a pretty good hold on her social media to where she only has five or six posts up at a time on anything. But I did let her know that I found her little Snapchat that was not part of anything that we had known about. And I did not appreciate it. You, at this day and age, you have to approach them as adults. You can't approach them as children to me. That's my opinion. ⁓ Pete: Yeah, but did she take the conversation well when you approach her as an adult versus treating her like a kid? You see what saying? It's about how you approach them though. I mean... Natalie: See you guys. It is about how you approach them. have to approach them like not like you're trying to be their friend, but the same thing. And you do have to lay down the facts to say, you know, I mean, I guess the way I go about it is I'll make her every time I watch like, like something I'm obsessed with true crime. So anytime it's about somebody about her age or anything like that, I'm like, come here and listen to this real quick. And like, Pete: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ no. Natalie: It does kind of open their eyes up a little bit because these are true stories. ⁓ And it could happen anyway. Do you think her mom woke up and thought she wasn't coming home that day either? No. You know, like just stuff like that. And I think that she's stopped writing in certain cars with people. ⁓ She has stopped ⁓ posting certain things like without me ⁓ in them. I guess if that makes sense to you, like there are certain posts like ⁓ Pete: Yeah. Natalie: like dances or whatever, like I'll come in in the middle of it and be like, you know, like kind of being like, this is not okay, but she can still do the post and still do the trend, but let people know, don't comment on this shit, cause I'm gonna come after your butt too. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, so I feel like with, especially as a girl, I could say about a teenage boy, I don't know that part. I will soon if you want to come back. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Natalie: But like, I feel like with a teenage girl, you do have to approach them super duper different. And then on top of that, in my heart of hearts, I really feel like my daughter will have a struggle a little bit with mental health as she gets older. ⁓ But I will be, unlike my parents, I will be right there by her side letting her know that it's okay. Pete: Yeah, but you're more educated than your parents, right? We're back then. And we got to remember when your parents were parents, it was a shit system then in the 90s, or the fucking wreck out there. There's just it was everywhere. you know, you're you're Yeah, and then you know, speaking your experience, so you've been through it too. So you can relate to a little more of these things. So it'll come off a little better for her because it's like, okay, listen, I've dealt with these things, I can tell you my own experiences, you know, make her not feel so alone because you know, Natalie: you 80s, 90s, ⁓ god forbid. ⁓ yeah. Pete: That's what our biggest problem for a lot of us is that we feel like we're alone because no one else understands us. Natalie: And that's why it took me how many six years to tell my mom that I had been molested by my uncle. I mean, because of the way that she just spoke about how that would ruin people's families and da da da da da da da da. And then my cousins that were also molested, like they never even came forth until they were like in 18, 19. You know what I'm saying? So it just, do let her know about things like that, God forbid. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: Something like that happens to her, but it is very different nowadays. So so so so so different. Pete: Yeah. Well, it sounds like, you know, dad is really big into it, too. And it sounds like you're not you're not trying to do this alone. You have him monitoring her as well to make sure. Natalie: This is... I think it's more of a control issue for him, but it is what it is and I don't mind right now Pete: But I mean, but you got to look from the aspect of his that's his little girl right there. You know, someone says the wrong thing to him. It's like, listen, I'm polishing my gun at the table right now. Would you like to come see it with me? Kind of. I can only imagine those conversations, you know, because I remember. Natalie: ⁓ I'm one polishing the gun and he's the one trying to talk to her. Literally, I'm like what you? Know so sorry Like that have reverse for for him and I he is more of the talker and I'm more of the doer Pete: It's like, hey, oh, don't mind me. I'm just cleaning my gun right now. Oh, what's your name again? Okay. And you're just carving into the back of the book. You know what saying? No, I've been there though. remember. She's like, I'm getting ready to kick in the door here. You're gonna tell me to stop right now. Natalie: I mean, I have showed up at some of her place. She's not supposed to be, ⁓ just to try to, and she gets mad. What are you going to do though? I mean, I could have saved her from something outright and then I could have totally embarrassed her and she's going to hate me for what? Like two weeks, which is what just happened to us too. So we had our huge first huge fight. think we've done pretty good for not fighting like this, ⁓ for Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you know... Yeah. Natalie: you know, 18 years. Yeah, she had a bunch of friends over and I did not appreciate how they were acting in my home. And I told her that they all had to go and she was really upset and she left in the middle of the night. Pete: ⁓ Jesus almighty. Natalie: But you have to understand as a parent you have to let my opinion You have to let them go. I did not speak to her that entire time. I Did not try to contact her And she came back to me and said mommy I'm really mad. I'm really mad at myself for being mad at you You know and things like that and I think you just have to let them learn on their own because that's what they want to do anyways So what them? That's what I say. Let them like literally with everybody, my kids, people around me, my mental health, my own brain, let it like just do you know what I'm saying? Pete: You mean you you raised us you raised a good one though because she came back and said mom I realized I fucked up I'm sorry you know she she she knew where she messed up and you know it's you just have to raise him and hope that you can teach him everything you can because you can't protect them from everything unfortunately and you know God forbid you know knock on wood over here you don't want anything to happen to that poor girl you know but it Natalie: on your social media like you've got to monitor your children. Pete: Yeah, well, good point. Okay, so very good point of that one, because you know, the things that get said in these comments and things like that, too, and the statistics that we were looking at is just like, there's no positivity to it at all. A lot of them are just like, you know, they are they're reporting at like 58 % plus that they're they're having these problems. And it's not positive. You know, in your right, a lot of people used to make fun of people want that, ⁓ you're helicopter pairing them too much. But no, you're doing the right thing. In fact, as you're monitoring what they're doing, you're limiting their access to these things, you know, in Natalie: turn them on the notifications if she gets a if I leave a comment which I do on everything if she has them on even I get a notification and you guys that happens if you leave a comment guess what you get a notification after every comment on that post so I don't know if y'all know that or not it comes with the social media you don't even have to put it in there it just happens Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Natalie: Any time you comment on something, you get a notification on the comments, whether you want or not. ⁓ you can turn it off. ⁓ certainly, but I don't know if anybody knew that or not. Cause I certainly did not, ⁓ until I started commenting on all of our stuff. And then I get it. I get a notification every time somebody comments on it. And then yeah, I'm like, ⁓ shit. And it'll even say like, who's, you know, who's social media it is, whether it's your. Pete: Right? She's like, ⁓ let's go see what they said now. Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: hers or anybody that you've ever it's annoying because you have to leave it on for everybody but Pete: Yeah, touch me. know you should. My phone goes off 24 7 people sending me messages and everything else. ⁓ fucking Christ, dude. Natalie: I can't even imagine your phone. I would be. Pete: I'm right now in the last 10 minutes, my phone's gone off like five or six times. I can see it the corner of my eyes. It flashes at me too. Like people are constantly messing like, what are you doing? Natalie: Mine's two, and I'm like, that's two too many. Pete: Right? You know what saying? Like people always asking me what I'm doing. Oh, when are you recording? Oh, I don't want to bother you. I'm like, I look at my phone constantly. It doesn't matter. Like if I'm looking off camera, it's usually because I'm looking at something, you know, because I'm on everything. I'm on X all the way down to fucking shit. Tick tock. get messages from anywhere. You know, people are like, oh, where's the best way to contact you? Whatever. What do you choose? What do you prefer? Because at this point, I'm on every single thing possible. Natalie: I'm hungry. And then like, and you've gotten so big, like I can't even, in a year from now it's gonna be crazy. You're gonna have have somebody manage that shit. Pete: Yeah, right. Somebody told me I need an assistant. I'm like, I'll find I'll find one for you. Trust me, we'll find one because that's the rate I'm going shit. You know, because like I get emails every day. People are watching the episodes. People are pitching me things. That's how I got the partnership with Psych Pal, though, because he Jules had reached out to me and me and him are we were emailing back and forth. You know, you're like, no, you haven't told me how do you like it? Natalie: You should. Correct. I've already used it. Did I tell you that? like it a lot. Like they go in depth like chatty beauty ish like Pete: Okay, so the story behind it is, I met Jules on, me and him actually had a video call the other day and we were discussing it a little more. He actually created it for his daughter originally. So he had, he's a programmer and he created this app and he was like, you know what, I'm trying to figure out something to help her better, you know, and he's like something that she could use. And his daughter came up with the idea of putting the schedules in there and all these other things like that too. And the cool thing is that you can, you can loop your therapists into it too. There's an option. If you go to the last portfolio part, it'll send them all the things that you're doing. It'll pay attention to what you're doing. You know, and Jules is constantly working on new things he was telling me. So he's going to keep me updated as new features show up on there and things like that, too. We troubleshoot the first person we got to sign up that one of my other friends signed up, too. And she was like, yeah, I'm trying to sign up. So I was messaging him, telling him what was going on. It was great because, you know, he's a he's a one man show right now trying to program this thing and he's working on it. He's constantly evolving. And like he says, even he uses it, too. In our conversation, he was like, yeah, I use it myself. I ask him, you know, so it's really cool. Yeah, see, there it is. everybody watching there you go don't forget the link in this description will have that right there you guys can try it yourself and you know like I was telling telling what I was like I'm trying to get everybody's testimony so I want people real feedback on it you know I told you I told you exactly what was doing some Natalie: You guys are f**** even know what I asked it it was literally something so precise you guys and it was like all these and it's not just one scenario it's not just one helpful comment it's like paragraphs like I'm talking like way more than chat GBT whatever kind of Pete: It can interpret text messages too as well though, so. Hmm? You know, and it's funny, we talked about that because he said that his goal set out was to not be like chatgypd from the aspect of that. If someone was struggling with something that it would direct them to go call 988 or respectfully, whatever, what's up there in Canada. don't remember their numbers, but I was telling him about a few of the other places that we had like, the help up that coach is a great one since we talked that I met the creator of that one. And then there's the mind something I can't, looked it up there and it was one of the guys in Canada, a guy named Matthew. Natalie: ⁓ Mm-hmm. Pete: has one that's similar, it's for the Canadian, you know, for everybody in the Canadian provinces up there. And then I met another girl the other day we interviewed this week. ⁓ She has something similar in the UK and things like that as well too. So it's really interesting when you hear all these people are putting these databases together for people, because before we were looking for help, didn't know where to look, but this at least gives you a one stop shop. ⁓ The helpup.co though is really great because Lisa Sugarman took everything possible. She took every angle you could think of, put it into a one website for you, like even religion. Natalie: No. Mm-hmm. Pete: This woman went to the religions of what these religions don't allow or different ethnicities wouldn't allow. These Mexican homes look at things differently. So she catered to fit for them. So it's great that if people need help, they can go look at these sites and start getting a little more what to do next. And then Psych Pal came along. I love how when I did, I set up the ad read, I made sure to point out the fact it's not a replacement therapy because the chat GPT thing is interesting because the kid that ended up taking his life. That's what he was doing. was texting chat GPT and chat GPT was telling him, okay, well, and gave him the idea of how to do it. was like, and, Jules said that was the one thing he didn't want to happen. He was like, Oh, in hell no. He's like, I catered our AI to avoid that at all costs. And you know, I don't know. Everybody goes like, well, it's an app. You're a crypt. Okay. So Jules wanted to let you all know this thing is encrypted so good that even he can't even get into it. He came and see your information. He literally cannot get into your information even if you need him to. Natalie: Yep. Do. Pete: just because he kept wanting to make sure it was so encrypted that people's data was saved. Especially with that, you know, because you're sharing your innermost thoughts with this thing, you know, and it's nice because it will cater to you, the person, versus being a cookie cutter for everybody else. It literally learns who you are and then it will help you respond and interpret things, you know. And, you know, I was trying to get people at BPD to do it though, because I was like, I'm kind of curious how it reacts to them. So we'll have to keep in touch with that one. Natalie: Thank you. That's one thing I asked it. That's what I asked it. I said, why are my parents? I wish it was up there. ⁓ It says, I think I said something like, why do my parents not understand about my mental health struggles and things like that? Why do they push it aside? And then it asked me specifically for my parents' birth dates. I don't, yeah. And then it went into what you were just saying about how they're kind of, when they're growing up and things like that were not. Pete: ⁓ Yeah. ⁓ yeah, dude, it was shit back then. They were slinging drugs up the right of people. That was a whole nice story. Natalie: Okay to talk about and so you know Oh Yeah, and then if you were even remotely were told that you had mental health issues you were automatically committed That's pretty much what it said you were in a psych ward or drug to win Bolted down to a bed basically and my parents were born in 56 and 54 So you have to think that was like late 70s or psychedelics were coming out people were crazy. Anyways Pete: Mm-hmm. God, yeah. Natalie: And then like in the 80s when feel like I think if you it's kind of like AIDS like back in the 80s. Pete: Yeah, since the 80s, AIDS came out in the 80s is when they first discovered that whole epidemic. Yeah. Natalie: Yeah, and so did my brother. Yeah, if you think about it, you're sick. We don't don't touch her. Don't touch him because you'll get it or something like that is kind of how my parents thought of it. And then here they have kids, me and Pete's age that like we struggle with it every day and we don't find out till we're 36 38 years old because our parents are like, no, no, no, because they don't want to literally think that something that they could have done. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Natalie: might trigger things like that or whatnot. don't know. Pete: They make things awkward, know, the way they handle things afterwards and people make it weirder. Oh, yeah. Natalie: parents think I'm They're like, you're crazy. And I'm like, I know, I'm trying to tell you. ⁓ Pete: You know, and people that get like, they think it's like we're making jokes or not, you know, because there's a guy I met a little bit after we interviewed, he teaches people humor about their own mental health. That's what he does. He's a comedian. And I love comedy. So this guy was right up my alley. We had a fucking blast. We were making fucked up jokes. Okay, we made fucked up jokes to everybody else around us when we were doing it. But it was really because me and him understand Dave Marl when I understood exactly what's going on. It's just like you're you're laughing at your own Natalie: Thank you. ⁓ please tell me. Pete: your own issues, not making fun of other people's, you're making fun of your own issues, but you're making light of it because it's how you're dealing with it. And Dave teaches class, yeah. Natalie: Kevin Hart. His number one best-selling comedy special right now is laughing at my own pain. Pete: Yeah, you know, well, you got to think though, Bert Kreiser is another one that's really been big about his mental health kind of thing. He would talk about it all the time and his anxiety is really bad. And he tells you about it. You never know. This guy, this guy goes on stage, takes his damn shirt off, for Christ's sake, and goes out there and says the wildest things ever. You know, saying like, Bert does all these things and it's like you never know unless, know, like if you listen to his podcast, it's interesting because he'll bring it up all the time. He goes to therapy and he's a big advocate of it and things like that, too. There's a couple other ones, too, that you just hear them all talking about it. Natalie: I'm done. Mm-hmm. When I met her that chick is so upfront about her mental Pete: Mm-hmm. I love it. Yeah, I love bunny bunnies great. Her show is awesome. Natalie: amazing. And she's so and I told her I said I when I met her, I went to her book signing. And, ⁓ and, you know, I was just like, thank you so much for speaking about your mental health and the struggles that you and Jason got through and things like that jelly. And yeah, because it's like they've been through it. I don't know if you guys have known that but like, it wasn't even her it was him. And she's just Pete: Yeah, generally, yeah. Yeah. Natalie: the most amazing. Pete: Yeah, but you know, it's like when you meet these people in person, though, she said she was pretty cool in person. So which is great because a lot of these people see on camera, sometimes you meet them in person. I think it's more like a lot of people get a bad rap like that. You me and some of us were discussing this, too, is like how you approach celebrities is really what it comes down to. Like you didn't go up there screaming, yelling like, you know, you you told her, hey, listen, I appreciate everything you do. You know, what was it? The one guy told me he said he ran walk past one of the guys from the food fighters and he just tapped on the show and said, hey, listen, I appreciate everything you do. I love your music, big fan and just walked off. And he knew the guy respected that because he was like, okay, cool. This guy's not crowding me asking me for autographs and things like this, you know. Natalie: Yeah. That's cool. I feel like I kind of took her back because like when I had hers she was like signing it and then she was like kind of signing it and she goes ⁓ thank you like looked at me like I'm you know like kind of like Pete: Yeah. You know, because she seems like the type of person like she's the same person you hear. And you just confirmed it is because a lot of those people, that's what it's like. Some of them are just not like that, though. But it's like you have to understand it's like how you approach a lot of people like, you know, like wrestling was a big thing for me in the 80s and 90s. And you hear a lot of stories. These guys like people run up to me in airport and, you know, little kids all signed stuff for me because it's kids, know, little kids. All right, cool. He's like, they're going to ask me, they're waiting for me. I'll tell them to go fuck off, basically. And you got to understand their mentality is like, dude, you know, like they get all this attention all the time, but it's like they still need to have their own space, you know. And it's the same thing with the NFL, though. You know, we had the Cowboys player that killed himself. And then we had recently had the Minnesota Vikings guy they found dead in his own house. It inflicted gunshot wound himself, too, which I heard about that recently. You know, so it's like, yeah, it was I didn't either. So I saw I was looking up something on the look up something and I came across and I was like, that's the problem. We're not talking about these things because we the kid from the Cowboys. Natalie: Yeah. No, yeah, totally I didn't Pete: But you you figured Jerry Jones who likes to talk about things, he would have jumped all over that. Natalie: They have everything like literally that kid from the Cowboys had I forget his name Michael You have to look and see he ran from the police so he was clearly not stable and so Pete: God, I don't remember the poor guy's name. I'm butcher, I'm pretty sure, but yeah, he was... Well, don't see the data back story knew much I knew about it was that he's lost his mom a year ago. The girlfriend mentioned he had severe mental health issues. So I'm wondering like, what what were you? What was this live day to day life like? Like, did he show signs of things? Like, there's so many other questions I'd have. Natalie: Like you have to think like just because you have everything like that, but like when does it get too far Pete to where people? Need to say something Pete: Exactly my point. He's an NFL, has access to these things. He wrote to the team and told them all he was sorry and goodbye and things like that. clearly he was struggling. And why aren't we doing, like why haven't we just thought about doing like psych evaluations with some of these guys just to see how they're doing, to check in on them see how they're doing. Natalie: And they're getting pummeled day after day after even when in practice. Pete: In that and all the spotlight and the pressure of everything too because my junior sale was one of them they early on that he had a lot of issues from Concussions and things that's what they made up modified the helmets because people like him Steve Young had a chronic history of concussions the guy from the Minnesota dolphin or the money Leave Tom Brady long case. Stop time Tom. Tom is something else. ⁓ But you know, it's like Natalie: ⁓ my God, yeah! Look at Tom Brady, he's not right. I'm sorry. He brought me some. Pete: It's just like, think about it, like Lawrence Taylor, he had a lot of drug problem usage, you know, in the eighties, they were doing a lot of drugs and things like that too. Uh, Emmett Smith, I think touched on it a little bit, you know what I mean? And it was just like, I think we're not talking about it though. It's like, because it happened. And even the thing with the kid in the Minnesota Vikings, don't really knew about it. It's like, why are we not talking about this more than if this is another going, another young guy, same situation, NFL, you know, the, the NLBL for everybody's dream. Everyone wants to be a player, everyone, know, things like this played for different teams, you know, Natalie: These are people our kids will- You tell your kids to look up to these people and then this happened. I know a bunch of I know. I mean you like what if I told I mean what about who had a huge ⁓ Darrell strawberry. Dude when I was growing up. Pete: Fantastic point. Look at her go, look at her go. Beautiful and knowledgeable sports guy. She better watch out now. She's a, this a powerhouse going right here, you know, but you know what it's saying though? Natalie: Love the Braves. from Atlanta, obviously. So my Braves will always be my MLB team no matter what. My team, period, other than the Georgia Bulldogs. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. Hahaha! Natalie: But but like I mean at J. Darrell Scharberry I was like well if he's doing cocaine look at how great he is like maybe I'm just saying I wasn't like that Pete: No, you know, to think of like Babe Ruth, Babe Ruth ate himself, like ate, got himself to unbelievably horrible condition. Lou Gehrig, you know, was right down there, had his own disease. And then you had, you know, all these other guys that struggled with things. Chris. Natalie: Like Dave Mira even what the world like these are skateboarders Definitely kids are looking up to I mean if anything my son knows who Tony Hawk is. Thank the F God So, you know like for skateboarding like he's amazing. I don't he's like not real I don't think he's a I've been a our whole lives, but I'm just kidding ⁓ Pete: Well, he had all those video games. So Dave Meier was, you know, but you know, you're right though. It's not just just NFL, but it's the fact that nobody's talking about these things, you know, and then it's like, then what was it? The Crispin Watt thing where he went crazy and just, you know, because he was doing all those steroids and things like that. But I don't think that was the only case. Maybe he had other issues that we don't know. There's a possibility. We don't know. You know, there's there's a lot of crazy things. But it's the thing is that we all deal with something regardless of what status in life we're in. Natalie: Yeah. Pete: You know, the guy, what is it, the guy from the Ellen show too, the guy from the Ellen show, can't think of what his name was either. He was, he was another one that, you know, we lost the same way. And it was just, it's crazy. Natalie: But when you say. ⁓ my little brother when he when he played for LSU and then you know tore shoulder, roteir cuff, whatever have you. that was a huge hit. I mean, he was playing every game. You know what saying? In college baseball LSU at that and then huge hit and he had to go to San Jacinta. Like what they just shipped him off. Like you don't even think that that thank God like Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Natalie: he's more stable sibling, like, like, it's still like, what kind of downsizing would you do to like a player or anything like that? Yeah, kids still see them as playing in the NFL or whatnot. But then this happens, but then around the top of their. Pete: Yeah. It's funny you say it's funny you say baseball because there is a guy that came on the show first the first half of the first year first year the show the last episode of 2024 he came on he's he was on TikTok and he was a baseball player said he tried to kill himself seven times and no one ever knew good looking dude got picked up by a prospect team he was going to play for one of the major league teams he got picked up for but no one understood how bad he struggled and then when he came on the show the same thing happened with you is that Nobody knew his real story of what was going on and people's jaws hit the floor and they found out how many times he, how bad he was struggling. You know, uh, I haven't, I haven't heard from him in a little bit. I check in him every so often. The last I heard from me, he was doing pretty good, but you know, it was crazy because the following week was the guy that came on the show 15 minutes into the live broadcast and was telling people that he had thought about killing himself that morning. He had the gun in the hand, singing the age of bed, you know, and it was like, it was, it was a freaky moment because people were fucking panicking because they're like, Oh God, is this guy serious? Natalie: Yeah. Pete: Is he okay? Is he alive? like, I just I went in, I was telling him like, I had to go tell you because I was living living in shock. Because I'm like, did he just say what I think he just said? Because then I had somebody go back and listen to and he goes, ⁓ yeah, he said it. He said it twice. Natalie: on your ⁓ show. ⁓ lord. Pete: Yes. So anybody that wants to know, go check out the interview with Brian. Um, it was right at the beginning of the year, Brian and I had sat down and talked. Okay. So he was sitting there and he goes 15 minutes into the conversation. He said, Pete, can I tell you something real casual too? When he says this, he goes, you know, I sit at the bed this morning, you know, got up, you know, I'm sitting at edge of my bed. I have my gun in my hand thinking about, you know, just, you know, shooting my, I take my own life. You know, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? He's talking. Natalie: I because I have an interview, like what the hell? Pete: He's like right before this interview, he's like, you know, then it came, he's like, I'm glad it came and talked to you because you know, I'm getting these thoughts out of my head. And Brian was working on an app for people to, for younger kids, they're mostly regularly like 15 minutes a day. I know he's still working on it because I've seen him recently on, he goes live on Instagram sometimes. So I catch him when I can and come say what's up to him and talk to him things like that too. And I, I'm going to invite him to come back on and see how he's doing now. But you know, at the time he, he scared the fuck out a lot of people. A of people were freaking out cause we. Natalie: Mm-hmm. Pete: Me and Alex's episode was pretty rough too, but then it was like we got into that and then this dude was talking with that morning he was having the ideations and he was close. In fact, he was really close and a lot of people were freaking out because they didn't know how to handle that conversation and I was just like, ⁓ shit. Natalie: That's fine. ⁓ I don't think a lot of people pay attention, but when is it one more thing that I want to bring up that was like my last point is that ⁓ When is it for women to, you're talking, know, ⁓ for as a mother. It's not okay for me to be mentally ill because I can get my kids taken away. Do you what I'm saying? Like very weaponized. I am petrified to tell my doctor. Sometimes there's a questionnaire every time I go online with my doctor, cause we do zoom calls. I don't ever really go see him. ⁓ same thing with my therapist. Have you ever had any ideations this week? Da da. And sometimes I want to be like, yeah, I have, you know, like I've had a really bad week. Like we're just because I think about it, don't mean I'm going to do it, but that's a huge thing that my doctor needs to know. Pete: Yeah, it's weaponized and it's... Natalie: because something in my medicine might not be working or in my therapist, something I need to talk about that she needs to pull up out of me that I can't exactly tell her like, but I'm so petrified at times, Pete, I don't want them, especially with Kate, with my son, because I'm his only caregiver. You know, I'm his only guardian. ⁓ So when is it okay to be, you know, to have mental health issues as a woman, as a mother? and be honest with your physician and with your therapist without being scared that you will have defects or CPS caught on you. Pete: Yeah, it's a good question though, because like we said, it gets weptonized to you really quick instead of people understanding what's going on. Natalie: It's wild! ⁓ Yeah, it's wild. It's seriously a big ordeal just because I wake up and I'm like, ⁓ feel like shit I can, you know, unalive myself. Don't mean I'm going to do it. But then I want to tell my physician without being compromised as a mother that I said that to myself because obviously somewhere I'm not happy. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's. Pete: Yeah. Natalie: And it could just be because it's 8 o'clock in the morning, my kids like, get up, we gotta go to school. you know, it could be the kids having a bad day. Pete: You know, it's like that too, because I tell people that like it's when I talk about it to people, people understand how bad I struggle sometimes too. And I talk about it, make jokes about it. Everybody thinks it's funny. But I'm like, I think you all to understand right now, someone starts joking about those kind of things. I would take those conversations serious because you don't know if they're trying to tell you they need help. Like I told people I was going to dig a hole in the front lawn, lay in the ground. Natalie: for your state. Pete: Lay in the hole and be closer to the Grim Reaper is what I kept saying, you know, and they kept thinking it was funny. But one person reached out the other day was talking to me about it. It was like, yeah, you need to stop saying that shit because it's not cool. I know exactly what you're doing and you need to quit. If you're having some, you need somebody to talk to, call me and talk to me and do something. And I was like, you know, and I was like, you know, I just, it's just a thought I have though. Like, you know, she didn't say it when I was there, but I was like, I made comments about when to play in traffic is what I said too. And somebody attacked me about it. They were coming into my life telling me, ⁓ I went, you you're using this, you're trying to manipulate people or you're, or you're, what is it? Oh, you're narcissistic was the other thing I got told. And I was like, that's great. You keep throwing on that word, but you really know what it means. I'm like, you don't. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's overused. People just think everything's not, oh, that's not, I'm like, it's really not. Natalie: Fuck. No, lot of people don't do it. ⁓ I'm guilty of it. I'm guilty of it just as much as the next person until I actually figured out what the hell it meant or gaslighting like I say everybody's gaslighting this gaslighting that Pete: Yeah, but you you figured out what it was and you realize your own faults. You know what saying? Like you're here saying now it's like I realized I fucked up and made the wrong mistake. You know, and it's hard when you have to admit that you're wrong about the end. That was my biggest fault too, is that I can never admit I was wrong anything. Girl, I couldn't admit to shit. Like I had to have a like come to Jesus talk to myself. And it went a lot better though. Now things are lot different. Like my kids and I have a relationship now. Natalie: out. but it makes you feel so... Just like it either. Yep. amazing. Pete: We weren't talking, but, I went through this whole phase where I just owned up to everything I said, instead of blaming everybody else. Like their mom had their part in it. Yes, but I didn't help any better with it, too. And I couldn't blame her completely for me avoiding the fact that she'd always told me the same thing, go get help. And I refused because I never thought I had a problem, you know. And then, you know, for some to turn around and saying and someone say like, they tell me that I'm I'm manipulating people. I'm trying to play the victim. I've never asked for sympathy from any of you ever. Natalie: That's all I did. Pete: In fact, when people try to tell me that shit, I'm just like, I don't want to hear it. Natalie: I don't understand that part. don't never... What the hell? ⁓ Pete: Well, you know, because the aspect of like, you know, you're thinking from this aspect of people like, you're trying to say, like, like if I was I really depressed during season one, the live recording of the show, I was fucking depressed every day. I home and I didn't tell people because I don't want to hear, ⁓ I hope you feel better. ⁓ I'm so I don't want to hear that. Natalie: But we could tell. Like, I mean... Pete: You know what saying? You would know because you can tell, unless you knew something was up. You know what saying? Natalie: Because I have the same issues. Yeah, I mean like you can help like have I cried once during this? No, because I'm not so hurt or like I'm not like really like dude I would boo hoo and stuff. Whoa, I couldn't even get some things out sometimes the first Pete: ⁓ no. Stop listening. But your statement was powerful. Let's admit that those statements you made at the end of the show was that powerful that when I shared it to a lot of people, I said, I want you to listen to what she's saying. And that statement alone, it was very impactful to a lot of people because a lot of people heard that. mean, emotional or not, it was was how you felt, though. You came out and literally said made a very powerful statement when you said that, you know, because it touched a lot of people's hearts. As we've seen, people have been reaching out saying, like, hey, listen, I saw your episode. I heard it. Natalie: Yeah. Pete: You people reach out to your friends. means that, you know, you reach somebody and like we always tell everybody is if you hit one person, that's all matters. So. Natalie: Yep, seriously. I've had people like tell me I saved them. One girl did on my Snapchat. was like shortly after the I think she saw Kimmy reposted it. I think I told you this, but she was like I was literally going to off myself that weekend when I got like I was able to get a hold of and for some reason we had the same story and to this day. Pete: Yeah. Hmm? Natalie: That girl is my very best friend on TikTok. So yeah. And if you know anything, if you know, know who I'd be hanging out with all the time on there. So yeah. But, and I feel, yeah, it is. It's really great. And I had no clue. I mean, you just don't know. Don't have a clue. I would have never guessed that about her and that she still struggles and that she still has certain things that her parents throw at her. Pete: So I'm saying. That's awesome though. Exactly. Natalie: like about the whole situation because they're just not nice people. But ⁓ yeah, I just, I like the weight that was lifted off of my shoulders after that first podcast was, ⁓ God, it felt so good. And even though it lasted for so long, you guys, doesn't last forever. And that's because you have to talk about the issues that you're having. Like literally you have to talk to somebody professional. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Natalie: It's one thing to talk to your friends about things, but you've got to seek professional advice if you literally feel yourself having any kind of mental health crisis or issue. Pete: 98 it's a great one to if you need it 98 or could talk to their trained professionals there and all that kind of stuff you can text them if you don't want to talk to them, ⁓ you know, and things like I'll tell you a little story about that when we get off to hear about it something but it's like it's really great because somebody tried to argue the point to say that 98 wasn't effective and then somebody with the statistics and who she had to her words on that one because she was like, ⁓ wait, here you go. Ninety seven percent of people say that 98 was very effective in saving their lives. And it's like they're just sitting there watching her and she's just like Natalie: 90. Go. don't know what it is. I've used. ⁓ Go. Pete: ⁓ it is and then try to change the narrative. ⁓ no, you know, it's such a great. No, no, you just sat there and told me 98 wasn't as effective as it should be. And now you're trying to turn on and say something else. And it was funny because the girl doing the statistic checks, which, you know, it's Natalie: Yeah. I used to I had to use it after my grandfather passed away cuz You know, I talked about last time I lost my grandmother and then in May of last year I lost my grandfather and even though I'm happy that they're finally together It's like they both raised me so it's like your parents are your real parents are gone and now I'm stuck with like two siblings that don't like each other that I still have to deal with Kind of sort of thing I AKA my parents. So it still is very, hard, but it's like at the same time, 988 is a literally lifesaver. Pete: Right? Yeah. Yep, I agree. All right, we're at that part of the show. I don't know if you've watched any of these newer episodes through to get to this question I ask everybody. So this one comes credit to a good friend of mine I met during the second season of this show. She runs a podcast called The Shit That Goes On In Our Heads. So her question to me and my question to you is that if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? This is a great one, I'm telling you, telling you. So we had Andy this morning recording with me. What did he say his first one was? don't, God, I wish I remembered it because it was great. His second one is, it's a beautiful morning. He started singing it, you know, things like that. So you can break it down however you want. Natalie: Really? Okay, you want me to explain? Okay, my mental health, only because I am such a loving and caregiving person, it would have to be halcy. Pete: Okay. Natalie: You can't blame even though I'm Pete: Yeah, Halsey's good though. mean, I like her though. My ex-wife was big into her. I heard a lot of her music through her, you know. Natalie: Literally, that is she covers everything in your mental health that she could in the first line of the song. ⁓ that would definitely. And that's so funny why I laughed because I was just thinking about this the other day. I was going to do a post on my tick tock and I was like, God dang, this is my mental health issues right here. All of it. Because I'm really bad at love. I'm awful at like trying to figure crap out like that. mean, whatever it is, what it is like. So. Pete: ⁓ my god, here we go. ⁓ yeah? You think that's what it is? Okay, so we're to the main question now and the reason this podcast started. My question to you is that if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, when I am asking you this question, I'm asking you from the aspect of the thing that pisses you off the most, your people say, what would you say that one thing is you want them to stop believing? Natalie: No, I'll agent. That Bible or people are really crazy Pete: I mean it's a true statement, okay? Natalie: mean, literally quit labeling people with mental health issues. At least we're trying to get help where most people that have mental health issues sit there and waller in their own mental health issues and they wonder what's wrong with them. They wonder why they can't get jobs, why they can't have relationships, why they can't have things like that, why they can't have peace, peace within themselves. Trust me, if you would just... try to figure it out and not care about what anybody else says, it makes a world of difference. Pete: And with that being said, guys, we're going to wrap up this episode of Peter and Sally Whitney. Thank you so much for coming back and hanging with me. was so excited when we ran into them. So before we sign off, do you want to leave a powerful statement this time like the last time? have anything great you want to tell everybody at home? Anybody that you have any advice and encouragement? What do you got for us? Natalie: Thank you much. Literally what you said earlier, do not take for granted what people say about their own mental health. Don't overhear anybody. Don't try to wipe it out of your mind, but also don't pressure them. Just try to understand each and everybody that you meet on a daily basis because we're all going through our own struggles. Pete: I it. I absolutely love it. All right, guys, with that being said, we're going to wrap up this episode of Peter Excited. Whit, do you want to tell them where they can find you? What's the new TikTok name this week? Natalie: My new tick-tock name is dr. Whitney's pink drink. D R a N K this week, but you can always find me at NMC two names on. Yep. Pete: You Right? Guys, listen, go. Guys, ahead and check my girl out. Give her some love. Let her know you saw her here on the show, guys. And as always, thank you so much again for coming. It was great hanging out with you as always. You're always welcome to come back any time you want and hang out with us. know, Whitney actually said she wants to come co-host maybe some episodes. So we are going to look at that. We're going to see about having her come back and hang out, meet some new people with us. And with that being said, guys, we're going wrap this episode of Pete First Anxiety. Guys, you're going to find me on Pete First Anxiety on X all the way down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify all the way down to Panda Radio. And as I always say, it costs nothing, absolutely nothing to be kind to somebody. Natalie: Yeah! Pete: One kind act you can can save his life or hell, can make their day. I'm Pete for SinxietySentout saying don't ask how your day is today, say hey, how's your mental health?