Latest / DA CREW Podcast / WHOSE BODY IS IT? | LET THE HEALING BEGIN | APOSTLES LEE & KIMBERLY THOMAS

Transcript

WHOSE BODY IS IT? | LET THE HEALING BEGIN | APOSTLES LEE & KIMBERLY THOMAS · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Hear in this place we hungry, band our hats away.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Speak to us now. There is no time here. Only
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: your presents show what should glow? Speak to us? Now
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: speak to us.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Now what hear in this place?
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Spe a hot way way speak loud.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: There is no time.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: Only your praends space.
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: Speak to us a.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Holy speech, holy spirit home the spirit.
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: You hearing say, be hound about a heart.
• 1:24
  Speaker 6: Lady, speak to us now, there is no time.
• 1:29
  Speaker 7: Only pass short.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Speaks the spirits to us.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: Man, we have been need to here?
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Was you.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Just a little woman? Want to.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Speak to us?
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: Your ears speak.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: To us now, he taught.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: Marriage isn't always perfect, but healing is always possible. Welcome
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: to Let the healing begin. With your hosts Apostles Lee
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: and Kimberly Thomas. This podcast tackles real life issues with
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: raw truth and a powerful his and her perspective. We
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: talk marriage, we talk sex, We talk lost love and
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: relational challenges. Couples don't always say out loud. If you're
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: ready for honest dialogue, faith filled insight, and a practical
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: wisdom that restores connection and strengthens your marriage, you're in
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: the right place. Come journey with us as we let
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: the healing begin.
• 3:05
  Speaker 8: Name good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome, welcome
• 3:10
  Speaker 8: to let the healing begin. We are your hosts and
• 3:15
  Speaker 8: Kimberly Thomas, and we are so glad that you have
• 3:18
  Speaker 8: joined us tonight for let the healing begin. We have
• 3:22
  Speaker 8: some information that we want to share with you tonight,
• 3:24
  Speaker 8: very hot topic.
• 3:26
  Speaker 7: But before we.
• 3:27
  Speaker 8: Get started, we want to put this disclaimer out there.
• 3:31
  Speaker 8: We do not do not, do not, do not claim
• 3:35
  Speaker 8: to have master this thing called marriage, nor do we
• 3:38
  Speaker 8: have the monopoly on marriage. But what we do have
• 3:41
  Speaker 8: is a marriage, and as of the twelfth we have
• 3:45
  Speaker 8: a marriage of twenty four years and a thirty three
• 3:51
  Speaker 8: long year love affair. That's right, yeah, So we have
• 3:56
  Speaker 8: a marriage, we have experienced, and most of all, we
• 3:59
  Speaker 8: have a mandate from God to share with you on
• 4:04
  Speaker 8: your journey in life in this thing called marriage. So
• 4:08
  Speaker 8: we are here for it tonight and we are ready
• 4:11
  Speaker 8: to let the healing begin tonight. We have a very hot,
• 4:17
  Speaker 8: hot topic and as you can see, we both have
• 4:20
  Speaker 8: on rent, but we have on two different shades of rent.
• 4:23
  Speaker 8: Because this topic may be a little bit hotter or
• 4:27
  Speaker 8: a little bit fiery then for some than others. So Tonight,
• 4:33
  Speaker 8: we are going to talk about something that a lot
• 4:36
  Speaker 8: of couples do not like to talk about, do not
• 4:40
  Speaker 8: like to entertain a lot. And this is something that
• 4:43
  Speaker 8: you know, and people who know me know that I'm
• 4:48
  Speaker 8: not a very vocal person. I don't talk a lot
• 4:51
  Speaker 8: about you know, stuff that happens behind closed doors. But
• 4:54
  Speaker 8: tonight we're gonna talk about some stuff that we need
• 4:57
  Speaker 8: to talk about in marriage, because there are some things
• 5:01
  Speaker 8: that we need to understand about marriage.
• 5:04
  Speaker 7: So we are going to open up tonight with a
• 5:07
  Speaker 7: very hot topic. Whose body is it? Anyway?
• 5:11
  Speaker 8: Whose body?
• 5:12
  Speaker 9: Yeah, whose body is it? Explain that I'm gonna let
• 5:17
  Speaker 9: you start.
• 5:18
  Speaker 8: Off with that, all right, So tonight we actually we
• 5:22
  Speaker 8: went to bed last week or talking about this topic
• 5:29
  Speaker 8: because there's so much misconception and so many things that
• 5:34
  Speaker 8: deal with this particular topic, especially in marriage. You know,
• 5:38
  Speaker 8: in marriage we have joined together as one, we are one,
• 5:43
  Speaker 8: But when it comes down to whose body is it?
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: Who does this body really belong to? We have a misconception.
• 5:51
  Speaker 8: So tonight we're gonna go to the word first so
• 5:54
  Speaker 8: that we'll have a clear understanding of what the word
• 5:57
  Speaker 8: tells us about who the body along suit. So when
• 6:01
  Speaker 8: we look at this, listen. I want you guys to listen,
• 6:06
  Speaker 8: because this is scriptorial based. And so for those of
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: you that say we weigh off, we're not.
• 6:15
  Speaker 9: We not.
• 6:15
  Speaker 7: This comes from the word tonight.
• 6:17
  Speaker 8: The word says in One Corinthians, chapter seven, verse number five,
• 6:24
  Speaker 8: it tells us do not do not deprive one another
• 6:29
  Speaker 8: except with consent for a time that you may have
• 6:33
  Speaker 8: given yourself to fasting and to praying and come together
• 6:39
  Speaker 8: again so that Satan does.
• 6:42
  Speaker 7: Not tempt you because of the lack of self control.
• 6:48
  Speaker 8: So when we find ourselves in marriage and it comes
• 6:54
  Speaker 8: down to all folks, business that takes place in the bedroom,
• 6:59
  Speaker 8: and we're talking about sex tonight starting off, but we're
• 7:03
  Speaker 8: going to talk about the whole topic of whose body
• 7:06
  Speaker 8: is this? So when we even began to look at
• 7:09
  Speaker 8: the fact that even if we go up a few
• 7:13
  Speaker 8: verses above verse number five in One Corinthians, chapter seven,
• 7:18
  Speaker 8: if you start looking around three and four, it tells
• 7:22
  Speaker 8: you that we share.
• 7:26
  Speaker 7: Authority. We share authority on each other's bodies.
• 7:33
  Speaker 8: So in actuality, when you become one, when you become
• 7:38
  Speaker 8: husband and wife, the husband's body belongs to the wife,
• 7:44
  Speaker 8: and the wife's body belongs to the husband. So when
• 7:49
  Speaker 8: we start thinking about this topic, whose body is it? Anyway,
• 7:57
  Speaker 8: we are not supposed to withhold ourselves.
• 8:01
  Speaker 7: From each other, But why.
• 8:07
  Speaker 9: Do women do that? One just meaning lots of experience,
• 8:19
  Speaker 9: control and manipulation beat better and bruising. It's another one anger.
• 8:35
  Speaker 9: So you say, okay, and I just don't want to.
• 8:46
  Speaker 8: So in all of that, in all of that, when
• 8:51
  Speaker 8: we do that, we're dead wrong. We're dead wrong because
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: we have stepped outside of the word of God. We
• 9:00
  Speaker 8: have stepped outside of what God has intended for marriage
• 9:05
  Speaker 8: to be. So when we start thinking about it, when
• 9:09
  Speaker 8: we start thinking about this thing that goes along with
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: marriage that's called sex, the Lord tells us that we
• 9:20
  Speaker 8: are to actually we are to satisfy one another's pleasures.
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: So when we start using sex as a weapon, we're
• 9:30
  Speaker 8: dead wrong. When we start using sex as a way
• 9:33
  Speaker 8: of manipulation and commit we're dead and wrong. And you know, ladies,
• 9:37
  Speaker 8: sometimes we get angry, and I'm gonna say, I'm saying
• 9:44
  Speaker 8: we as the population of women because this has never
• 9:49
  Speaker 8: been my thing. But when you get so angry to
• 9:54
  Speaker 8: the point to where it's all about, okay, well, we'll
• 9:59
  Speaker 8: exchange set for paymental bills.
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: We'll exchange sex for money.
• 10:04
  Speaker 8: Okay, well, you know, just putting the money on the
• 10:07
  Speaker 8: on the table for the bills or whatever, and then
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: that's when the sex comes into play.
• 10:12
  Speaker 7: You're there wrong because at that point you just became
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: a harlet.
• 10:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah, you just became a harlet with your husband, because
• 10:21
  Speaker 8: that is not how things are supposed to go. The
• 10:26
  Speaker 8: word tells us that we are we are mutual owners
• 10:32
  Speaker 8: of each other's body. We have the authority, we share
• 10:37
  Speaker 8: the authority on each other's bodies. And so this is
• 10:42
  Speaker 8: this is very important because this is why a lot
• 10:45
  Speaker 8: of marriages are breaking up. This is why a lot
• 10:49
  Speaker 8: of marriages are seeing extramarital affairs. And you're seeing your
• 10:55
  Speaker 8: partner go out and find somebody else that they want
• 10:59
  Speaker 8: to or that they find because there are many loose
• 11:04
  Speaker 8: women out here and they're just waiting. And let me
• 11:08
  Speaker 8: tell you, they're watching. They're watching.
• 11:12
  Speaker 9: Why Why why do you think that men step outside
• 11:18
  Speaker 9: of the relationship whenever sex is involved.
• 11:29
  Speaker 8: They're they're different reasons, they're different reasons. I believe I
• 11:34
  Speaker 8: believe that when a man steps outside of a relationship
• 11:39
  Speaker 8: where sex is involved, it is because he is being deprived.
• 11:46
  Speaker 7: By the one that he is joined to.
• 11:49
  Speaker 8: And many times people women walk around and use sex
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: as a bardening. It's marking chip. So if I'm pissed
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: off with you, then ain't no rubbing, touching, patton, don't
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: none of that. You stay on your side, the feet
• 12:11
  Speaker 8: over here, because that's just the way that some handle it.
• 12:19
  Speaker 7: So I'm mad.
• 12:21
  Speaker 8: So when I'm mad, I shut the door to sex,
• 12:24
  Speaker 8: because I know you want sex. So I'm gonna shut
• 12:27
  Speaker 8: the door to that.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: It is, it is, it is.
• 12:34
  Speaker 7: I'm not gonna argue.
• 12:35
  Speaker 8: I'm not gonna argue about that that is abused. And
• 12:40
  Speaker 8: the thing is a man only takes so much. A
• 12:44
  Speaker 8: man can only take so much, and some men will
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: only no only take so much. Because maybe you know
• 12:52
  Speaker 8: you have these You have so many, like I said,
• 12:55
  Speaker 8: you have so many loose women out here. You got
• 12:58
  Speaker 8: women that are watching you when you least expect, and
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: some of them are so brazen and bold that they
• 13:06
  Speaker 8: don't care about you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 7: You and your man could be out in public, and
• 13:09
  Speaker 7: it happens to us all the time.
• 13:11
  Speaker 8: And I know that, I know, I know that I
• 13:16
  Speaker 8: am a foot shorter, a foot in an inch shorter
• 13:21
  Speaker 8: than his I know this, but one thing about it,
• 13:26
  Speaker 8: I know you see me too, because I'm too big
• 13:28
  Speaker 8: for you not to see me. So there are plenty
• 13:31
  Speaker 8: women that are so disrespectful and they are so brazen
• 13:35
  Speaker 8: that they do things.
• 13:37
  Speaker 7: We were recently in Walmart, and I know this.
• 13:41
  Speaker 8: Lady saw me, and so she just goes Holly Dolly,
• 13:46
  Speaker 8: just flaunting her little happy hips around.
• 13:49
  Speaker 7: So I moved to the side and I went and
• 13:52
  Speaker 7: I'm like, okay, I'm gonna look at this over here.
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: And as soon as I.
• 13:56
  Speaker 8: Moved, she made her beeline right where he was looking
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: at the T shirt. So she's gonna get across the
• 14:04
  Speaker 8: hour from him looking at the T shirt. She ain't
• 14:07
  Speaker 8: want no durn T shirt.
• 14:09
  Speaker 7: She's trying to get in his face and look at
• 14:11
  Speaker 7: his face. I said, I know darn well, and.
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: She looked she didn't know what to do because she
• 14:17
  Speaker 8: thought I was gone, and so she starts looking all
• 14:22
  Speaker 8: crazy in the face.
• 14:24
  Speaker 7: But some people just don't care.
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: We have been together, people have literally been walking with us, supposedly.
• 14:34
  Speaker 7: Part of our group that we were with, And you have.
• 14:39
  Speaker 8: These females walking in front of ushising up they clothes
• 14:43
  Speaker 8: and stuff.
• 14:44
  Speaker 7: People do not care.
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: Ladies don't have no respect for the well, no, yeah,
• 14:48
  Speaker 8: I'm gonna use that ladies, because the word says he
• 14:50
  Speaker 8: created a woman. So ladies don't have any respect for themselves.
• 14:55
  Speaker 8: When they see something they want, they go after. They
• 14:58
  Speaker 8: don't care whether it has the ring or this finger
• 15:00
  Speaker 8: or not, so it does not matter. So when you
• 15:03
  Speaker 8: start depriving the one who has ownership of your body,
• 15:12
  Speaker 8: then the floodgates open. They're already out here on the problem,
• 15:18
  Speaker 8: but then they start coming out like wildcats.
• 15:23
  Speaker 7: We got some cats in our neighborhood and they just
• 15:25
  Speaker 7: be all over the place.
• 15:26
  Speaker 8: We don't own cats. I don't care for cats, but
• 15:30
  Speaker 8: that's how they come out. They come out like like wildcats.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: And so you have to be.
• 15:37
  Speaker 8: Careful because the Bible tells us that we do not
• 15:42
  Speaker 8: with whole sex because of the simple fact that when
• 15:46
  Speaker 8: we with whole.
• 15:47
  Speaker 7: Sex too long and we don't come back together, we
• 15:50
  Speaker 7: leave room for the devil to come in.
• 15:54
  Speaker 9: You do a lot of times, but I think a
• 15:59
  Speaker 9: lot of it has to do with the way you're raised.
• 16:02
  Speaker 9: You know, men, they tend to want to be with
• 16:07
  Speaker 9: you all the time. They tend to be more aggressive,
• 16:13
  Speaker 9: and once a female sees that you're that aggressive, you know. Okay,
• 16:18
  Speaker 9: that's a form of control for me. So when I
• 16:21
  Speaker 9: get angry at you or man because you didn't do this,
• 16:23
  Speaker 9: that or the third, then I'm gonna cut that off. Okay,
• 16:27
  Speaker 9: I feel that that's cool. All that's good for just
• 16:30
  Speaker 9: a moment, you know, because the older women say, don't
• 16:33
  Speaker 9: go to bed mad with your husband, don't do this,
• 16:37
  Speaker 9: but this after you done got older. But what happens
• 16:40
  Speaker 9: when you're not older? You know, because I feel like
• 16:43
  Speaker 9: you got common sense. You know. If the man happens
• 16:49
  Speaker 9: to see somebody talking on by and he looking around,
• 16:53
  Speaker 9: then also he get that type right because you know
• 16:57
  Speaker 9: you look at but oh you like what you see.
• 17:00
  Speaker 9: But if I'm not receiving what I desired at home,
• 17:03
  Speaker 9: and I say, well, I like to see this and
• 17:06
  Speaker 9: I like to see you and dad, you know, why
• 17:09
  Speaker 9: don't you do it? You know, because a lot a
• 17:13
  Speaker 9: lot of men be like, you know, I asked you,
• 17:15
  Speaker 9: I did this, I did that, And then the women
• 17:18
  Speaker 9: follow along the lines bot, well that's not me, but
• 17:22
  Speaker 9: we used to do and you did all that to
• 17:27
  Speaker 9: get me, you know, and I say that was provocative
• 17:30
  Speaker 9: or nothing, but you know, hey, like what I say,
• 17:32
  Speaker 9: you know, and now you went from yeah to cankles
• 17:37
  Speaker 9: and I know y'all don't know what I'm gonna help
• 17:39
  Speaker 9: y'all from the next to the ankles. Cankles, you can't
• 17:43
  Speaker 9: see nothing, zer all.
• 17:47
  Speaker 8: Since the ALBUMA brought up a very valid point and
• 17:49
  Speaker 8: you and I talked about this a little bit earlier
• 17:53
  Speaker 8: before coming on about this this very thing. Why is
• 17:58
  Speaker 8: the bedroom excited before marriage, but then after you get married,
• 18:03
  Speaker 8: you become a missionary.
• 18:04
  Speaker 7: And that's what we were talking about the cackles.
• 18:08
  Speaker 8: Because there are times when you know, you would wear
• 18:12
  Speaker 8: the little provocative clothes and you would, you know, be
• 18:15
  Speaker 8: a little flauntcy and things of that nature. But then
• 18:18
  Speaker 8: when you get married, there's a difference. You know, you
• 18:22
  Speaker 8: used to go to bed, you know, all yeah, and
• 18:25
  Speaker 8: then now you dressed like a missionary. You wrap from
• 18:29
  Speaker 8: your head to your toes. And so this is the
• 18:31
  Speaker 8: stuff that we have to think about. We have to
• 18:34
  Speaker 8: think about the fact that there's so much stuff that
• 18:39
  Speaker 8: is happening that we can't we can't just flip the script.
• 18:46
  Speaker 8: We can't flip the light switch on and off. And
• 18:49
  Speaker 8: that's one of the things that we talk about often
• 18:53
  Speaker 8: because me, I'm old school.
• 18:56
  Speaker 7: I was raised old school. I was raised by my grandma.
• 18:59
  Speaker 8: So you know, I'm the one that wears a T
• 19:03
  Speaker 8: shirt or a chemosol all year long. I'm the one
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: that wears a slip with every kind of dress. It
• 19:10
  Speaker 8: does not matter what kind of dress I have on,
• 19:12
  Speaker 8: I have on a slip.
• 19:13
  Speaker 7: I'm that one.
• 19:14
  Speaker 8: And so there are some things that he likes and
• 19:18
  Speaker 8: he would love to see me in, and I may
• 19:20
  Speaker 8: even put it on, but one thing about it.
• 19:23
  Speaker 7: I'm not gonna have my girls all pushed up up
• 19:25
  Speaker 7: here choking me under my neck. I'm not gonna do that.
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: I'm not gonna have something on that so short that
• 19:32
  Speaker 7: you can see the rim of my tail.
• 19:34
  Speaker 8: I'm not gonna do that or my pawns. As as
• 19:37
  Speaker 8: all people saying I'm not gonna do that, I'm not
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: gonna do that. And I understand, and he understands that. Now,
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: there are some things that he likes that are form fitty,
• 19:47
  Speaker 8: and I'll put it on and I'll be like, oh, yeah,
• 19:49
  Speaker 8: this is cute. But when I look in a full
• 19:53
  Speaker 8: body leap mirror.
• 19:55
  Speaker 7: I'm like, no, I'm not gonna wear this. And he's like, well,
• 19:58
  Speaker 7: what's wrong with that?
• 19:59
  Speaker 9: I like it.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: You know, I'm your husband.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 20:01
  Speaker 7: I like to see that. I want to see that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 7: You know, you got a good figure, you got this
• 20:07
  Speaker 7: going on, you got that right.
• 20:10
  Speaker 8: No, no, no, let me explain, because I'm sure there's
• 20:14
  Speaker 8: some women out there that will they can attach to
• 20:17
  Speaker 8: what I'm about to say.
• 20:19
  Speaker 7: So in that, yes, it looks very nice, it's cute.
• 20:25
  Speaker 7: It's a cute outfit.
• 20:26
  Speaker 8: But to me, because of what I've been through, because
• 20:29
  Speaker 8: I was abused and molested, certain things I'm just not
• 20:35
  Speaker 8: going to wear because there's that stigma. If I put
• 20:38
  Speaker 8: this on, it's gonna cause attention to me. I don't
• 20:41
  Speaker 8: wear anything that's gonna draw attention to me. And so
• 20:46
  Speaker 8: that's something that.
• 20:48
  Speaker 7: I had to get over.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 20:49
  Speaker 8: Now I wear certain things, but I know how to
• 20:52
  Speaker 8: wear them modestly, and so that's what we have to understand.
• 20:56
  Speaker 8: There's a way to wear things, and you wear it
• 20:59
  Speaker 8: modis the the Bible even tells us to wear modest apparel.
• 21:02
  Speaker 7: You don't just come out with everything hanging out when
• 21:05
  Speaker 7: you are when you are a married woman.
• 21:07
  Speaker 8: And I understand that our husbands like these things, and
• 21:11
  Speaker 8: oh yeah, that's my wife or whatever. But then that's
• 21:15
  Speaker 8: kinds of stuff causes at tension that sometimes causes other
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: problems because, as you stated, somebody else might see something and.
• 21:24
  Speaker 7: They got the type right ahead, and that's not gonna
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: be good for you.
• 21:27
  Speaker 9: Wait oh, wait all that wait. I don't have no
• 21:32
  Speaker 9: problem with them looking that's you with me. I already
• 21:36
  Speaker 9: know what it is. They gonna know too. You know, look,
• 21:40
  Speaker 9: I care about you. Look at that's mind. But my
• 21:43
  Speaker 9: thing is, let's get back to the rear. Meetia and
• 21:46
  Speaker 9: prop what your man desires. When your husband or your
• 21:53
  Speaker 9: significant other, however you want to put it, wants to
• 21:56
  Speaker 9: see you in this, that and the third, y'all need
• 21:59
  Speaker 9: to talk about that. You know me, I wont okay.
• 22:01
  Speaker 9: She old school. I'm older. I like my woman sexy.
• 22:06
  Speaker 9: I like I'm married you because that was you was
• 22:10
  Speaker 9: what I like. But don't try to the missionary. You know,
• 22:16
  Speaker 9: I got a big T shirt. Put it on, you know,
• 22:20
  Speaker 9: keep me excited. I like that bedroom. I love all that.
• 22:23
  Speaker 9: Be that for your husband. Now, I understand when you
• 22:26
  Speaker 9: go out the door, it's another thing. But you know what,
• 22:29
  Speaker 9: the older you get, the closer you should get.
• 22:33
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 22:33
  Speaker 9: The older you get, the more. You supposed to be
• 22:36
  Speaker 9: a little more. Uh, Let's I put it this way,
• 22:40
  Speaker 9: nurturing for the simple fact y'all haven't seen no kids
• 22:44
  Speaker 9: in my house. Hey, that mean they're grown and gone.
• 22:47
  Speaker 9: We'll get played, learn to play again. Let's enjoy each
• 22:52
  Speaker 9: other's company, you know, because if we're gonna go to
• 22:57
  Speaker 9: the old school way and the way your husband like,
• 23:00
  Speaker 9: we're gonna have to come to a compromise. All right, outside, Okay,
• 23:05
  Speaker 9: I can go with some of that, but inside, that's
• 23:08
  Speaker 9: all I mean. Ain't nobody in here but me. What
• 23:11
  Speaker 9: happened back then was then then you just say she
• 23:15
  Speaker 9: can't count thirty four years? Yeah, y'aught to be all right,
• 23:20
  Speaker 9: But if you ain't all this right here, and you.
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: Scared, right, not scared. But Alva also brought up another
• 23:31
  Speaker 8: good point with it. Don't share what goes on in
• 23:34
  Speaker 8: your bedroom with other people, with other women. That's very
• 23:40
  Speaker 8: important because that's what happens when you see a lot
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: of friends start breaking up in friendship because they become
• 23:51
  Speaker 8: too friendly with the other partner. And so it's very
• 23:56
  Speaker 8: important to keep that kind of stuff to yourself. That's
• 23:58
  Speaker 8: stuff that should be have it. You should not be
• 24:02
  Speaker 8: talking about that. We had a conversation on Mother's Day. Well,
• 24:06
  Speaker 8: somebody else had a conversation. We were just party to
• 24:10
  Speaker 8: the conversation which they were talking to us. But you know,
• 24:13
  Speaker 8: certain things, certain things you don't say, and certain things
• 24:17
  Speaker 8: you don't entertain, because when you begin to entertain that.
• 24:21
  Speaker 7: You are then welcoming people into your bedroom.
• 24:25
  Speaker 8: Whether it's what you participate in in the bedroom or
• 24:28
  Speaker 8: whether it's not, it's not anybody's business.
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: But the thing is your bedroom should be sacred to
• 24:35
  Speaker 7: you and your mate.
• 24:37
  Speaker 8: It's nobody else business what is happening when you go
• 24:40
  Speaker 8: there and you close those doors.
• 24:42
  Speaker 7: So that's one of the things that we have to understand.
• 24:45
  Speaker 8: But when we talk about it, and you know, you
• 24:47
  Speaker 8: think about sex, and I remember the first comment about
• 24:52
  Speaker 8: sex before marriage, because sex before marriage is exciting, it's
• 24:57
  Speaker 8: fun because right now and and for a lot of
• 25:01
  Speaker 8: people today, they don't understand there are so many people
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: out here. When you're having sex before marriage, they are
• 25:10
  Speaker 8: sex They're not just sexing it up with you, baby,
• 25:13
  Speaker 8: They sexing it up with any mad everybody that would
• 25:16
  Speaker 8: give it to them, and some of them giving it
• 25:19
  Speaker 8: to them out of both draws legs.
• 25:20
  Speaker 7: So you know, you just got to really be be
• 25:24
  Speaker 7: mindful of that.
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: But then when you try to start laying claim to
• 25:29
  Speaker 8: people and you know, well, well, we're dating, okay, you're dating.
• 25:33
  Speaker 8: You're co cohabitating while you're dating, which means that you're
• 25:37
  Speaker 8: living together and you're counicating. But one thing about that,
• 25:41
  Speaker 8: and people, I want you to stop saying this, because
• 25:44
  Speaker 8: you know all this stuff about we done been together
• 25:47
  Speaker 8: all these years, and so we might as well be married.
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: You not, You're not married, And yeah, you might.
• 25:54
  Speaker 8: Be living like somebody that's married. But when it all
• 25:58
  Speaker 8: boils down to you as a man or a much
• 26:03
  Speaker 8: right man, and she as a woman is a much
• 26:07
  Speaker 8: right woman, that means any other man or woman has
• 26:11
  Speaker 8: as much right to him or her as you do,
• 26:14
  Speaker 8: because there is no honor in girlfriend and boyfriend living together.
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: But there isn't.
• 26:20
  Speaker 9: Somebody said, what does it mean that the bedroom is
• 26:24
  Speaker 9: underfil Okay, whatever goes on behind closed doors and you
• 26:32
  Speaker 9: both agree to whatever you're doing, that's you because that's
• 26:37
  Speaker 9: your business. That's what's going on back there. You're pleasing him,
• 26:43
  Speaker 9: he's pleasing you. It's underfiuled, right, it's only the file
• 26:48
  Speaker 9: whenever you bring it outside the room and if you've
• 26:54
  Speaker 9: grown past twenty one and over twelve the light bullshit
• 26:58
  Speaker 9: come on because this one of our friends said, that's
• 27:01
  Speaker 9: a good thing. Okay, your good thing or your whatever,
• 27:04
  Speaker 9: that's your thing. Trust that, keep that that is something
• 27:08
  Speaker 9: that you hold sacred and silent. See this, this podcast
• 27:14
  Speaker 9: right here is very shocking to a lot of people
• 27:19
  Speaker 9: about her because this is way outside the knowing for
• 27:22
  Speaker 9: her to actually speak and talk on these topics. But
• 27:26
  Speaker 9: you know, after a while, you know, you got to
• 27:27
  Speaker 9: come to the consensus that you know, we're grown and
• 27:31
  Speaker 9: it's life for real, and you need to help somebody
• 27:33
  Speaker 9: because this what what's allowed to hear your ears. Don't
• 27:38
  Speaker 9: help somebody because this is a mistake that you don't
• 27:41
  Speaker 9: have to make exactly the Bedrooms under Fire. But you know,
• 27:44
  Speaker 9: some some people go outside the rim of that. And
• 27:46
  Speaker 9: I'm speaking about some of the men that I was
• 27:49
  Speaker 9: spoken to before this show or the Bedrooms under Fire.
• 27:53
  Speaker 9: The Bedrooms under Fire, No, you had like a pedophile.
• 27:57
  Speaker 9: That's what I feel like, you know, because something you know,
• 28:00
  Speaker 9: you're going overboard, you know what I'm saying, and that
• 28:04
  Speaker 9: is a form of control. But we need to do
• 28:07
  Speaker 9: what we're doing together behind the door, and we agree
• 28:10
  Speaker 9: together that that's what we're doing. You know, we don't
• 28:13
  Speaker 9: have to go outside this old whack dot crazy stuff,
• 28:15
  Speaker 9: you know what I mean, But that's under foul. But
• 28:19
  Speaker 9: on the outside of that, don't tell nobody what's going
• 28:21
  Speaker 9: on in your room. And then be aware of the
• 28:25
  Speaker 9: people that you call friends. You know, because some of
• 28:28
  Speaker 9: your friends only come to get close to you to
• 28:31
  Speaker 9: see what's going on in your playroom. And a lot
• 28:34
  Speaker 9: of things don't have to be said because the way
• 28:35
  Speaker 9: I look at her and the way she look at me,
• 28:37
  Speaker 9: the first thing in their mind is, oh my god,
• 28:39
  Speaker 9: I know what's going on with that? Do you? No,
• 28:43
  Speaker 9: you don't.
• 28:46
  Speaker 7: We talk with our eyes, but we don't talk like
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: that with our eyes.
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: But anyway, just to piggyback on what was said about
• 28:56
  Speaker 8: the bedroom being under filed, I want to take it
• 28:58
  Speaker 8: to a little more in depth of a level. When
• 29:02
  Speaker 8: we talk about the bedroom being under fouled, that means
• 29:05
  Speaker 8: that it's honorable. It's honorable, and not only is it honorable,
• 29:10
  Speaker 8: it should be it should remain sacred. And so when
• 29:14
  Speaker 8: the bedroom is underfouled, it is what God has ordained
• 29:20
  Speaker 8: as married between a husband and a wife.
• 29:25
  Speaker 7: That means a male and a female, nothing else, nothing else.
• 29:30
  Speaker 8: There is no there's none of this new found thing
• 29:33
  Speaker 8: where you got two men talking about my husband or
• 29:36
  Speaker 8: my wife that the devil is.
• 29:38
  Speaker 7: A whole lie and the same thing with two women.
• 29:41
  Speaker 8: No, that is not what That is not honorable, first
• 29:45
  Speaker 8: of all, and that's not what God has ever intended
• 29:48
  Speaker 8: to be. So so when it talks about the bedroom
• 29:52
  Speaker 8: being undefouled, it's the honorable thing between a husband and
• 29:58
  Speaker 8: a wife.
• 29:58
  Speaker 7: And what you can say are honorable correct within.
• 30:03
  Speaker 8: The scopes of your marriage. So it's very important for
• 30:07
  Speaker 8: us to understand that first. It's honorable because marriage is honorable,
• 30:13
  Speaker 8: because the marriage between a husband and a wife is
• 30:16
  Speaker 8: honored by God because that's what He has ordained. So
• 30:21
  Speaker 8: we have to we have to make sure that we
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: understand that and we take all of it into consideration
• 30:28
  Speaker 8: when we are even talking. Because that mutuality that comes
• 30:33
  Speaker 8: into the bedroom or even into the marriage, you have
• 30:37
  Speaker 8: to understand that you have to first of all, have
• 30:40
  Speaker 8: mutual respect for one another. Because there are some people
• 30:44
  Speaker 8: they don't care ryding and walk and they just they
• 30:46
  Speaker 8: married by title.
• 30:49
  Speaker 7: When they get behind closed doors, they like cats and dogs.
• 30:52
  Speaker 7: They don't like each other.
• 30:54
  Speaker 8: They talk to each other any kind of way, and
• 30:57
  Speaker 8: sometimes even in public that's how they treat one And
• 31:00
  Speaker 8: so you have to understand that what what God has
• 31:06
  Speaker 8: joined together Because some of us put our own marriages together,
• 31:10
  Speaker 8: some of us.
• 31:11
  Speaker 7: Have went out. We chose people that we thought.
• 31:14
  Speaker 9: Was was gonna be the one because of the situation
• 31:18
  Speaker 9: and circumstances. We could obtain all these different things and
• 31:23
  Speaker 9: we can have a nice home, the nice car. We
• 31:25
  Speaker 9: got some money, and you look good, I look good.
• 31:28
  Speaker 9: You got a good position. I got a good position.
• 31:30
  Speaker 9: But and all of that we was obtaining things of
• 31:33
  Speaker 9: the world, not as a relationship one another. You know,
• 31:38
  Speaker 9: once I took the time to really look at you
• 31:40
  Speaker 9: and you look at me.
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: Who are you exactly?
• 31:43
  Speaker 9: You know, who are you exactly? And that's the whole thing.
• 31:47
  Speaker 9: We got to understand who we are as a couple,
• 31:50
  Speaker 9: but most of all as a person, your own individual.
• 31:55
  Speaker 9: Because we started off this way you said earlier. Sex
• 31:59
  Speaker 9: was fun, Yeah, because we liked each other. But as
• 32:03
  Speaker 9: we got together, other things came into the mixed. Children,
• 32:10
  Speaker 9: life itself, because life be life in with you know,
• 32:14
  Speaker 9: house note car notes all these things that we desired
• 32:18
  Speaker 9: and obtained and then think about why we was getting
• 32:20
  Speaker 9: them instead of maybe one or two things at the time.
• 32:23
  Speaker 9: So we both could have money, we both could you know,
• 32:26
  Speaker 9: go take each other out to eat, or take ourselves
• 32:28
  Speaker 9: out to eat, or even just buy yourself nice blouse
• 32:32
  Speaker 9: or pass slacks of some of that nature. But whenever
• 32:34
  Speaker 9: you stretch yourself so thin, all that comes to the
• 32:37
  Speaker 9: play in your household, in your marriage, and your relationship
• 32:41
  Speaker 9: far as the sex goes. Because you know what, one,
• 32:44
  Speaker 9: I'm tired because I had to work this overtime to
• 32:45
  Speaker 9: make sure I can have some extra money now, and
• 32:48
  Speaker 9: now you've been here all day. You come home and
• 32:51
  Speaker 9: then I'm like, what's up? And you know, well you
• 32:54
  Speaker 9: ain't cook? I mean cook, I mean you was doing
• 32:56
  Speaker 9: all that before. Let's let's go back here. I don't
• 32:59
  Speaker 9: want to, but the Bible say that body belonged to
• 33:02
  Speaker 9: me and said, what's the problem that that body don't
• 33:04
  Speaker 9: want this? Bout it right now? Because I don't want that,
• 33:06
  Speaker 9: but that don't want this, All that come into blade. See,
• 33:10
  Speaker 9: we have to think about all that. It's a whole
• 33:12
  Speaker 9: gaming of things. But we have to really take the
• 33:14
  Speaker 9: time to really think about this and it also comes
• 33:18
  Speaker 9: in too that right there, I gotta look at you,
• 33:24
  Speaker 9: you gotta look at me, and we gotta talk. Not
• 33:27
  Speaker 9: get angry and talk at each other, talk to each other.
• 33:30
  Speaker 8: Yes, And on that note, we are going to take
• 33:34
  Speaker 8: a break and we will be back in a few
• 33:37
  Speaker 8: moments to continue this hot topic, hot topic. Whose body
• 33:43
  Speaker 8: isn't anyway, We'll be right back.
• 33:48
  Speaker 7: Save me to.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Have much my heart, it's my own.
• 34:04
  Speaker 9: Take me to.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: Truth is.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I'm tied.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Hoptions of I'm trying to pray, but where I'm all church.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Hurding of you. I can't pay what.
• 34:39
  Speaker 9: To do? Come?
• 34:42
  Speaker 6: Truth is? I'm new, no strength to fa, no tea
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: is to crack. Even he I tried, but stim so
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: refuses to die.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, who want to?
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: Who will change my note?
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: Take me to the keys?
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: I don't have much to breathe.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: My heart's torn in peace, said, it's my all.
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: For read.
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: Today.
• 35:49
  Speaker 9: I'm not gonna mention your name, but you said you
• 35:51
  Speaker 9: was looking for mister goodbye and you gotta sniggle. Okay,
• 35:56
  Speaker 9: Maybe have you with God just a little bit. First
• 35:59
  Speaker 9: of all, we have this thought or this this perfect
• 36:03
  Speaker 9: individual in our mind, and you know he can be bronzy.
• 36:08
  Speaker 9: You know, he can smile, laugh, carry on a conversation.
• 36:12
  Speaker 9: But did you ever think for one half a second
• 36:16
  Speaker 9: that you gave him the ammunition to get to you?
• 36:20
  Speaker 9: Because the first thing is that what you like? What's
• 36:23
  Speaker 9: really happening with you?
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: Man?
• 36:25
  Speaker 9: Yeah? Pretty, teach all this and ye and then all
• 36:29
  Speaker 9: of a sudden, okay, well tell me some of the things. Well,
• 36:34
  Speaker 9: I like movies, I like this, and everything you say
• 36:36
  Speaker 9: you like. But in the first two weeks you getting
• 36:39
  Speaker 9: all that all the attention. Ain't no way he gonna
• 36:42
  Speaker 9: be this nice. But I'm going by what I see.
• 36:44
  Speaker 9: But if you listen to me, I hear what you say,
• 36:50
  Speaker 9: but I see what you don't say. Or I hear
• 36:52
  Speaker 9: what you say, but I'm listening at what you don't
• 36:55
  Speaker 9: say and what you don't do see, because one thing
• 36:59
  Speaker 9: for showing two things for certain the real you will
• 37:02
  Speaker 9: show up if you're really looking. Don't look to see
• 37:06
  Speaker 9: the bead in them, because it's already there, because it's
• 37:08
  Speaker 9: certain things you like. You know, when you get off work,
• 37:11
  Speaker 9: you tired, but you told John Boy he could come by,
• 37:14
  Speaker 9: so you rush home, put on this new game face.
• 37:17
  Speaker 9: And then when you come in and it's all good
• 37:21
  Speaker 9: you think of Lord, have mercy. I gotta go to work,
• 37:23
  Speaker 9: and the moody he just won't go home because you
• 37:26
  Speaker 9: didn't tell him. Look, bro, I work an eight hour job.
• 37:31
  Speaker 9: All these bills belong to me. I'm not trying to
• 37:32
  Speaker 9: get rid of you. I like you and all this
• 37:34
  Speaker 9: right here. But this is how it's going down. So
• 37:38
  Speaker 9: maybe Thursday we can get together about say such and
• 37:43
  Speaker 9: such a time, and I'll meet you there. See, there's
• 37:48
  Speaker 9: nothing more than a man that wants that that woman
• 37:51
  Speaker 9: can stand on her own. And at that point you
• 37:54
  Speaker 9: really find out something too about the man that's in
• 37:56
  Speaker 9: front of you, because he gonna meet you halfway. Okay,
• 37:59
  Speaker 9: first of all, I got to come and meet you there. Two,
• 38:03
  Speaker 9: I don't have you coming to my house or therefore
• 38:06
  Speaker 9: you not even made my privacy because when I leave you,
• 38:10
  Speaker 9: I can leave if I want you to come. When
• 38:12
  Speaker 9: we get together, I can. I know this now, not
• 38:16
  Speaker 9: after I get into the midst of this, and oh
• 38:17
  Speaker 9: my god, I should have never did this. See, you
• 38:21
  Speaker 9: have options. And then if he says, oh, hold on,
• 38:25
  Speaker 9: hold on, I got this, he said, no, no, I
• 38:28
  Speaker 9: got my hand. No, no, I got this. It's the way,
• 38:31
  Speaker 9: he says it to let you know I got this. Okay, cool.
• 38:37
  Speaker 9: You have to put yourself in a position to where
• 38:41
  Speaker 9: you can see exactly who this individual is. Things are
• 38:44
  Speaker 9: not like they used to be. Shival read they said,
• 38:46
  Speaker 9: Shiv read there. But two days ago we were at
• 38:50
  Speaker 9: no yesterday, Yeah, yesterday, we went to get something to
• 38:53
  Speaker 9: eat after we went out and did all the sales
• 38:55
  Speaker 9: and stuff, and I opened the door for my wife
• 38:58
  Speaker 9: and somebody drove by, and then they call me and say,
• 39:01
  Speaker 9: you know what, I'm glad to see chivalry a dead.
• 39:03
  Speaker 9: But see that's my queen. But the only way you're
• 39:06
  Speaker 9: gonna get what you want is you put yourself in
• 39:08
  Speaker 9: that position. You know, this is the way I want
• 39:10
  Speaker 9: to be treated. And I'm not taking anything less. Count
• 39:14
  Speaker 9: yourself as a hundred, right instead of ninety nine, because
• 39:18
  Speaker 9: that ain't gonna do.
• 39:20
  Speaker 7: And that's so true.
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: And I want to address the mister goodbar and the
• 39:24
  Speaker 8: snicker on a different level because there's so many times
• 39:28
  Speaker 8: as women we are looking for mister goodbar, but we
• 39:34
  Speaker 8: lower our standards and that's why we end up with
• 39:38
  Speaker 8: a snicker, because we will fall for or go with
• 39:43
  Speaker 8: whatever mister Snicker is putting down for a substitute. You know,
• 39:50
  Speaker 8: I've heard it said before, and when I first heard it,
• 39:53
  Speaker 8: I really didn't understand it. But I understand it better now,
• 39:57
  Speaker 8: and some of you may understand what I'm saying. When
• 40:00
  Speaker 8: you are looking and searching for mister Goodbar, a lot
• 40:04
  Speaker 8: of times you just want a fire to be put out,
• 40:06
  Speaker 8: so you really just want a fireman.
• 40:09
  Speaker 7: You want a fireman, and so when you get your fireman,
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: you end.
• 40:14
  Speaker 8: Up with mister Snicker. But mister Snicker was able to
• 40:17
  Speaker 8: put the fire out, so okay, well I'll deal with that.
• 40:21
  Speaker 8: I'll deal with that until the next fire starts a blazing.
• 40:25
  Speaker 8: And so now you've lowered your standard just to have
• 40:28
  Speaker 8: that fire extinguished. And a lot of times when we
• 40:32
  Speaker 8: failed to realize is that mister Goudbar is really there
• 40:36
  Speaker 8: and he's waiting, but he's waiting in the balance because
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: he is watching you, and we don't realize that we're
• 40:44
  Speaker 8: being watched it. So sometimes just when mister Goudbar is
• 40:48
  Speaker 8: getting ready to step forward, here you go and you
• 40:52
  Speaker 8: let your guard down to mister Snicker.
• 40:54
  Speaker 7: He got a good rep game.
• 40:56
  Speaker 8: He know how to to you know, he know how
• 40:59
  Speaker 8: to get his verbs and his nouns all wrapped up
• 41:04
  Speaker 8: here together. But you know, he got real good conversation.
• 41:09
  Speaker 8: He knows just what to say because he's been watching
• 41:12
  Speaker 8: you too. And most of the time, mister Snickers really
• 41:14
  Speaker 8: looking for a way to get with mss KitKat so
• 41:18
  Speaker 8: that he can go ahead and just do whatever it
• 41:21
  Speaker 8: is that he want to do, because really, sometimes it's
• 41:23
  Speaker 8: a hot meal that he looking for. Sometimes it's just
• 41:26
  Speaker 8: he want to be able to extinguish somebody fire and
• 41:29
  Speaker 8: move on to the next saying.
• 41:31
  Speaker 7: He just want to see how easy it is to
• 41:35
  Speaker 7: get through you.
• 41:36
  Speaker 8: And so right, and so this is the stuff that
• 41:39
  Speaker 8: we have to understand because a lot of times when
• 41:41
  Speaker 8: we end up with mister Snicker, we have dropped our standards.
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: And that's because mister Snicker's been looking at you, and
• 41:47
  Speaker 7: he's looking at saying, you know what, I could never.
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: I could never talk to her. I could never. You know,
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: she's she's too high class and she she really is
• 41:57
  Speaker 7: all that.
• 41:57
  Speaker 8: And you know, missus Snicker has this image of you
• 42:00
  Speaker 8: in his mind and so now it's like a conquer
• 42:04
  Speaker 8: thing and when you drop your guard, hey check yeah, I.
• 42:09
  Speaker 9: Mean it's a checklist. When I met my wife. She
• 42:15
  Speaker 9: ain't like me at all, period at all. But I
• 42:20
  Speaker 9: had to tell her this the man you're looking for
• 42:23
  Speaker 9: you talking to your husband. She told me whatever, And
• 42:26
  Speaker 9: I did, like dirt on somebody's shooting, I don't.
• 42:29
  Speaker 7: Say that, I just say dirt on nobody shoot.
• 42:32
  Speaker 9: She called me the dirty old man.
• 42:34
  Speaker 7: I did. I did dirty old man, not dirt on
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: nobody shootes.
• 42:38
  Speaker 9: What's the difference?
• 42:39
  Speaker 7: You were dirty?
• 42:42
  Speaker 9: But the thing of the matter is, I asked a question.
• 42:46
  Speaker 9: I said, you looking and you can't see me. I said,
• 42:50
  Speaker 9: but here's the deal. I clean up very well. I
• 42:53
  Speaker 9: even brought my brother them by and a few other guys,
• 42:55
  Speaker 9: and they said the same thing. She at your class,
• 42:58
  Speaker 9: she at your nigga. I said, you must be looking
• 42:59
  Speaker 9: at your mirror because that ain't what I see. And
• 43:03
  Speaker 9: I asked her, I said, well, I'll tell you what.
• 43:05
  Speaker 9: I clean up very well. So when I come back,
• 43:08
  Speaker 9: if you know who I am, then I'll leave you
• 43:10
  Speaker 9: a long Otherwise, go out with me, and if you
• 43:12
  Speaker 9: don't like me after that, I'll, you know, leave you alone.
• 43:18
  Speaker 9: Needless to say, I took her out because she didn't
• 43:21
  Speaker 9: know who I was, And thirty four years later, we're
• 43:27
  Speaker 9: still here, you know, because she had this person in
• 43:32
  Speaker 9: her brain. Now I had all of this and that,
• 43:36
  Speaker 9: you know, but I just wasn't her cup of tea. Ever,
• 43:38
  Speaker 9: didn't leave because I was dirty birt coming in there,
• 43:41
  Speaker 9: you know, for work. And after she got to know
• 43:45
  Speaker 9: who I was and see me. Oh man, now it's
• 43:48
  Speaker 9: like glue. She stuck to me, you know. But the
• 43:53
  Speaker 9: thing of it is she had a standard. I did too.
• 44:00
  Speaker 9: But some people, you know, we can't look like the
• 44:04
  Speaker 9: man in the office because I'm not that kind of man.
• 44:07
  Speaker 9: I'm outdoors man. You know. I'm a man's man. I'm
• 44:10
  Speaker 9: not saying the man in the office and a man's man,
• 44:12
  Speaker 9: but you know it's a difference. I get my hands dirty, See,
• 44:16
  Speaker 9: I like to grab touch field. That's all that's me.
• 44:19
  Speaker 9: But I know who I was, you know, And I
• 44:22
  Speaker 9: did watch her because you want what you want. I
• 44:28
  Speaker 9: wanted the good looking woman. I wanted the educated woman.
• 44:31
  Speaker 9: I wanted woe with some pretty teeth, you know.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: All that.
• 44:34
  Speaker 9: She had her own place, her own job. See, she
• 44:38
  Speaker 9: came into the relationship with something, you know, not I
• 44:42
  Speaker 9: had to. We had to start off from nothing. She
• 44:45
  Speaker 9: had her own, I had my own. Now we got
• 44:47
  Speaker 9: our own. So in the midst of that, you know,
• 44:52
  Speaker 9: we had our ups and we had a lot of downs,
• 44:54
  Speaker 9: but we fought through it all because one thing out
• 44:57
  Speaker 9: of the whole night, I've always and she has always
• 45:00
  Speaker 9: been able to tell each other the truth. Not saying
• 45:02
  Speaker 9: it didn't make your heart hurt ache, but you know,
• 45:05
  Speaker 9: I wasn't trying to go back through the things that
• 45:09
  Speaker 9: I had been through in my life. Even down to
• 45:11
  Speaker 9: our home. I didn't even sign the paperwork without her
• 45:15
  Speaker 9: being there because it wasn't gonna never be. Mayo, when
• 45:18
  Speaker 9: you start a relationship, don't have MYO our because that's it.
• 45:24
  Speaker 9: It's you and I baby against the world, and that's
• 45:28
  Speaker 9: the way it goes. That's where it should go.
• 45:31
  Speaker 7: And one thing that you said that kind of struck me.
• 45:37
  Speaker 8: You said that I had my standards, You had your standards.
• 45:41
  Speaker 8: But a lot of times we come into relationships with
• 45:44
  Speaker 8: false expectations. We have expectations that are so far fomical
• 45:53
  Speaker 8: that they I mean, you couldn't touch them. You couldn't
• 45:58
  Speaker 8: touch them with a ten foot And so we set
• 46:02
  Speaker 8: it's not that we set our standards high, and it's
• 46:07
  Speaker 8: nothing wrong with having high standards, but we have unrealistic expectations.
• 46:16
  Speaker 7: Of our mates.
• 46:20
  Speaker 8: They may meet so many of our checkpoints on our list,
• 46:27
  Speaker 8: and we're like, oh, okay, so this is good. But
• 46:30
  Speaker 8: then when you really get into it and you get
• 46:33
  Speaker 8: to know them, then you begin to see little things
• 46:37
  Speaker 8: and you're like, well, you know what, I didn't sign
• 46:39
  Speaker 8: up for this because I could have been.
• 46:42
  Speaker 7: With X, Y Z and P and Q.
• 46:44
  Speaker 8: But then when you really and truly look at it,
• 46:48
  Speaker 8: and I'm gonna say this again, when it's God ordained,
• 46:52
  Speaker 8: when God puts the marriage together, when he puts the
• 46:58
  Speaker 8: marriage together, his checklist, it's his standards. We don't have
• 47:05
  Speaker 8: expectations and standards at that point because He knows what
• 47:10
  Speaker 8: is best for us, and so we have to we
• 47:13
  Speaker 8: have to learn how to accept.
• 47:16
  Speaker 7: What he has for us and what he has allowed
• 47:20
  Speaker 7: for us.
• 47:20
  Speaker 8: Because the thing is, there are so many of us,
• 47:24
  Speaker 8: and we both we both could have had anybody that.
• 47:28
  Speaker 7: We desire to have. I mean I've had.
• 47:34
  Speaker 8: I've had lots of individuals that have approached me in
• 47:38
  Speaker 8: life to where my life would would have probably been
• 47:43
  Speaker 8: a whole lot different from this from my eyesight, from
• 47:49
  Speaker 8: looking at it through the natural eyes, you know, looking
• 47:54
  Speaker 8: at the wealth looking at all of the material.
• 47:59
  Speaker 7: Things, looking at all of these different.
• 48:01
  Speaker 8: Things and thinking, oh, yeah, that would have been it.
• 48:06
  Speaker 8: But you never know what's on the other side of that.
• 48:09
  Speaker 8: So that's why you have to thank God. When God
• 48:12
  Speaker 8: puts it together, he knows just what you need because
• 48:17
  Speaker 8: he knew that. I gotta have a rough neck. I
• 48:21
  Speaker 8: can't have a softy. I can't have a softy because
• 48:24
  Speaker 8: I'm not soft. So I gotta have a rough neck.
• 48:27
  Speaker 8: I gotta have one that be like, get yourself together,
• 48:31
  Speaker 8: you know, not physical, but you can speak to me
• 48:35
  Speaker 8: to the point to where I understand it's time.
• 48:39
  Speaker 7: To get it together.
• 48:41
  Speaker 8: I can't have one that is a yes partner everything
• 48:44
  Speaker 8: that I say, yes, baby, yes, darling, yes, honey. No, No,
• 48:52
  Speaker 8: I gotta have that one that say no, now you know, no,
• 48:56
  Speaker 8: we're not doing that.
• 48:58
  Speaker 7: No, that's not happening.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: No.
• 49:00
  Speaker 7: Oh, you can't get that no. And people don't think
• 49:03
  Speaker 7: he tell me no, but he do. He tell me no.
• 49:07
  Speaker 7: He does. He tells me no. But God knew, he
• 49:10
  Speaker 7: knew what I needed. I didn't know what I needed.
• 49:14
  Speaker 8: I didn't know because if it was up to me,
• 49:18
  Speaker 8: the way that he came and presenting himself, the first time,
• 49:23
  Speaker 8: all dirty, all cleaned up, looking like he had been
• 49:26
  Speaker 8: wading in some little hog.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: Beit.
• 49:28
  Speaker 8: No, no, have looking woodly all that just just dirty,
• 49:35
  Speaker 8: just dirty. And then you bring your friends and you
• 49:40
  Speaker 8: sit up and you stalk me. Yes, you brought your friends.
• 49:46
  Speaker 8: They sat outside my job on the hood of the car,
• 49:51
  Speaker 8: and they look in the window at my job all
• 49:56
  Speaker 8: the and having conversations I can forth with each other
• 50:01
  Speaker 8: while they're telling him, no, she out your lead.
• 50:04
  Speaker 7: Oh no, she she in college, bro, you you can't
• 50:07
  Speaker 7: talk to her. Oh no, you see she handled in
• 50:09
  Speaker 7: her business. She the manager. You can't no, no she
• 50:12
  Speaker 7: she no, she out your lead.
• 50:15
  Speaker 8: But he still kept coming back, and they were silly
• 50:18
  Speaker 8: enough to come right back with him and said right
• 50:21
  Speaker 8: out the door, gazing in there at me.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 50:27
  Speaker 7: That would have never been my thing, because I'm like,
• 50:30
  Speaker 7: you know what, I'm finna call the police because I'm sickly.
• 50:36
  Speaker 9: He then right here, I'm gonna talk to the two
• 50:39
  Speaker 9: thousands one. When you have your standard so high, remember
• 50:45
  Speaker 9: when you look at the individual that you're looking at
• 50:48
  Speaker 9: and feel like you know he should be able to
• 50:50
  Speaker 9: First of all, don't put a standard on the individual
• 50:53
  Speaker 9: you getting linked up with that you can't give yourself.
• 50:57
  Speaker 9: That's number one. Because how you want me to give
• 51:01
  Speaker 9: you what you can't even obtain? That's number one. Number two,
• 51:06
  Speaker 9: if you're dealing with a man like me, you can't
• 51:09
  Speaker 9: count me out because I'll tell you I don't have
• 51:10
  Speaker 9: a dime and I'm swollen because you know what? You
• 51:13
  Speaker 9: need to want this?
• 51:15
  Speaker 8: Not this?
• 51:17
  Speaker 9: See, because if you get this, you can get all
• 51:20
  Speaker 9: this and I ain't. Yeh, she got it. No pressure
• 51:25
  Speaker 9: on that. Everybody know that. But see, think about that
• 51:29
  Speaker 9: right there. How can I ask an individual to give
• 51:32
  Speaker 9: me something that I haven't I can't obtain for myself. See,
• 51:37
  Speaker 9: that's number one, as far as she says, starting, I
• 51:41
  Speaker 9: was sitting on my own car, drinking my own bed,
• 51:43
  Speaker 9: just having to be looking in that direction at what
• 51:45
  Speaker 9: I like. You see what I'm saying. Anytime you go shopping,
• 51:48
  Speaker 9: you look in the window, don't you. I was looking
• 51:50
  Speaker 9: in the window at what you know?
• 51:54
  Speaker 8: That word?
• 51:55
  Speaker 9: I don't even know what. But the real deal is
• 52:00
  Speaker 9: when you can do for yourself what you want them
• 52:03
  Speaker 9: to do, don't get mad because you know what the
• 52:06
  Speaker 9: way things have changed. Women making way more money than men.
• 52:12
  Speaker 9: If that's my man or my mate, that's my man.
• 52:15
  Speaker 9: That's my man. I don't care what you talking about
• 52:18
  Speaker 9: because think about it, you always flip the script, always
• 52:21
  Speaker 9: turn it around. Because now if I'm making a two
• 52:24
  Speaker 9: hundred and fifty two hundred thousand a year and I'm
• 52:27
  Speaker 9: looking out for you, you good. Okay, so we're good.
• 52:29
  Speaker 9: But remember now we won. But why is it that
• 52:32
  Speaker 9: you can't make one hundred and fifty two hundred thousand.
• 52:35
  Speaker 9: I ain't making much thought it child, I ain't taking
• 52:38
  Speaker 9: care that I'm mad, but in the night time a
• 52:44
  Speaker 9: lot of Jesus. Okay, we flip a little bit, but
• 52:49
  Speaker 9: it ain't even about that. I love you. I'm giving
• 52:52
  Speaker 9: you what I got. Help me get to where you
• 52:55
  Speaker 9: want me to be. See that's the difference. Some things
• 52:58
  Speaker 9: you gotta work with because when you work with it
• 53:00
  Speaker 9: is yours. I did that, that's mine. We did this.
• 53:07
  Speaker 9: So when I look over, I'm proud of it because
• 53:10
  Speaker 9: you know what I can be all you want me
• 53:13
  Speaker 9: to be if you show me. Because some things I
• 53:15
  Speaker 9: don't even know. I only know what I know. I
• 53:20
  Speaker 9: can get that, But if I haven't been exposed to that,
• 53:23
  Speaker 9: how do you expect me to get that? Because I
• 53:24
  Speaker 9: have the same opportunities you had. You see what I'm saying.
• 53:27
  Speaker 9: Everybody ain't the same. You know. People look, we own
• 53:32
  Speaker 9: a couple of businesses. I'm the detail man and people
• 53:36
  Speaker 9: look at it like you a detailer. Yeah, I'm the
• 53:39
  Speaker 9: best in the business, trust me. But to the average person,
• 53:45
  Speaker 9: I wanted to have a detailer and I was told old, dirty,
• 53:48
  Speaker 9: old truck driver. I was all that, But at the
• 53:51
  Speaker 9: same time you looked at I mean when you too,
• 53:55
  Speaker 9: might thought they asked you, was that too? I wouldn't
• 53:58
  Speaker 9: have a truck driver, is what they said. And in
• 54:01
  Speaker 9: my mind I was thinking you would have a truck driver.
• 54:03
  Speaker 9: But you drive the truck drivers automobile. Wow, you and
• 54:07
  Speaker 9: your family? You see, So it ain't never what it
• 54:11
  Speaker 9: looked like, but it is what it is. You know.
• 54:14
  Speaker 9: Stop looking at or thinking that they're below you, because
• 54:18
  Speaker 9: God has no respect to person. So how could you
• 54:21
  Speaker 9: when you promote or elevate yourself, and I know that
• 54:24
  Speaker 9: elevation comes from God, how did you put yourself on
• 54:26
  Speaker 9: a pedestal that you keep falling off of?
• 54:30
  Speaker 8: Okay, I'm not gonna touch that one. I'm not gonna
• 54:36
  Speaker 8: touch that one. But what I am gonna say as
• 54:39
  Speaker 8: we bring this broadcast to a close. Is you said
• 54:43
  Speaker 8: something that is so profound.
• 54:46
  Speaker 7: This is a give and take.
• 54:49
  Speaker 8: You cannot expect somebody to give something that you are
• 54:56
  Speaker 8: not willing to give, or that you don't possess. You
• 55:01
  Speaker 8: can't expect somebody to give you something that they don't possess.
• 55:07
  Speaker 8: So we have to understand who we are, we have
• 55:13
  Speaker 8: to understand what we possess, and we have to we
• 55:18
  Speaker 8: have to most of all, be willing to come into
• 55:23
  Speaker 8: a marriage understanding that there.
• 55:28
  Speaker 7: Is mutual agreement and love and love.
• 55:33
  Speaker 8: And the thing is that the Lord has intended for
• 55:38
  Speaker 8: it to be mutual, mutual agreement, mutual love, mutual pleasure, mutual.
• 55:47
  Speaker 8: That means that we both agree and we understand that
• 55:53
  Speaker 8: we're no longer this, but we're this.
• 55:57
  Speaker 7: Two has become.
• 56:00
  Speaker 9: One.
• 56:02
  Speaker 7: And so now that we have touched this topic, oh yeah,
• 56:10
  Speaker 7: just touched it a little bit, let's let the healing begin.
• 56:14
  Speaker 9: And remember we agree to death, agree agreeable.
• 56:21
  Speaker 8: Have a great night everyone. We'll see you back here
• 56:23
  Speaker 8: on the first Sunday in June. Looking forward to having
• 56:27
  Speaker 8: another great broadcast. Thank you all for joining us tonight,
• 56:30
  Speaker 8: and God's choice blessings be unto you. Until next time.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: Here in this place, we hungry band our hearts away.
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: Speak to us now.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: There is no time here. Only your presents show us
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: your glow.
• 57:13
  Speaker 6: Speak to us now, Speak to us now.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: Why