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Transcript

The Doughnut That Broke Me | Dad Life at 41 · Stay Outta My Fridge

0:00
Speaker 1: I need to start with a little confession, because this
0:03
Speaker 1: week I kind of lost my mind over a donut.
0:07
Speaker 1: Not a car accident, not a broken window, not a
0:09
Speaker 1: phone bill, not even something catastrophic at Tim Horton's donut.
0:15
Speaker 1: And I'm sitting here thinking, if you walked into my
0:18
Speaker 1: house at that exact moment, you would have thought I
0:21
Speaker 1: was delivering a presidential address about the state of the Union,
0:24
Speaker 1: or trying to get myself potentially submitted into a psychiatric
0:29
Speaker 1: ward or something. But the Union. It was powdered sugar,
0:35
Speaker 1: not even anything important. And here's the wild part. It
0:39
Speaker 1: wasn't even about the donut. It might have been about
0:42
Speaker 1: being forty one, might have been about the fuel oil bill.
0:46
Speaker 1: It was probably about National Grid announcing that their February
0:51
Speaker 1: bills are going to be the highest ones yet after
0:54
Speaker 1: some really high ones the last couple of months, and
0:56
Speaker 1: I'm not really sure how we're gonna afford it. It
1:01
Speaker 1: was about looking at my bank app more than I
1:04
Speaker 1: want to admit, to make sure that we can afford
1:07
Speaker 1: to go out for a nice dinner. It was about
1:10
Speaker 1: realizing that I'm officially not loving adulthood, and realizing adulthood
1:17
Speaker 1: is so much fun. Why did I wish to get older?
1:20
Speaker 1: And well, the moment you realize there's not really a
1:24
Speaker 1: backup plan to all of this madness and it's okay,
1:29
Speaker 1: but either way, what's up? Everybody? Welcome back to another
1:32
Speaker 1: episode to stay out of my fridge. I'm Matt aka
1:36
Speaker 1: beard Loss. I'll be your host today, and I just
1:38
Speaker 1: wanted to do another solo read. Not because well our
1:42
Speaker 1: solo episode, not because I per se wanted to, but
1:46
Speaker 1: because my co host is busy. It's sports. Everything that
1:54
Speaker 1: that a kid busy is in it. Our schedule is
1:56
Speaker 1: just having a line for us to be able to
1:58
Speaker 1: have a sit down. So I say, you know what,
2:01
Speaker 1: I got this and when it's just me, I want
2:03
Speaker 1: this to be relatable, you know, a parrot to turn
2:07
Speaker 1: this on and listen to my average boring life and
2:12
Speaker 1: be like, holy crap, I'm not the only one struggling
2:15
Speaker 1: with this bill or that bill or you know the
2:17
Speaker 1: donut moment. I mean, we all we're all just doing
2:20
Speaker 1: it right, We're getting through it. We're doing some things.
2:22
Speaker 1: And again I just said, you know what, let's just
2:25
Speaker 1: press record and see what comes out of my mouths.
2:27
Speaker 1: I do have some notes, so It's not just going
2:29
Speaker 1: to be me rambling, but I really do appreciate you
2:32
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2:34
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Speaker 1: Check them out. But yeah, I appreciate the friends of
3:58
Speaker 1: the show, and I appreciate Let's let's let's move on.
4:02
Speaker 1: Let me let me set this scene for you real quick,
4:04
Speaker 1: all right, And again this is me just being real
4:06
Speaker 1: because I know every parent's been through some of this.
4:08
Speaker 1: It's it's a it's a random, just Monday President's Day.
4:14
Speaker 1: Kids are off. I had to take the day because
4:16
Speaker 1: of a busy sports schedule and you know, some misplanning
4:20
Speaker 1: on the district in my opinion, and a very cranky
4:23
Speaker 1: person that is in charge of a lot of construction things.
4:28
Speaker 1: You know, the house is a little bit loud, you know,
4:31
Speaker 1: and before anyone says anything, you know, you just you
4:37
Speaker 1: just kind of feel it in the air. I don't
4:39
Speaker 1: know if other parents just can relate to this or not,
4:42
Speaker 1: but it's just there, you know what I mean. Like
4:44
Speaker 1: you got the dogs pacing around, the cats or and
4:47
Speaker 1: me out, and the dishes need to be done, the
4:50
Speaker 1: washer and dryer are going, the water pumped that you've
4:54
Speaker 1: had issues with over the last couple of months, that
4:56
Speaker 1: gives you a little bit of some PTS D is
4:58
Speaker 1: going in there. And one of the kids is just
5:00
Speaker 1: in a mood, right, somebody's complaining that their phone's low
5:04
Speaker 1: they need a charger. People are wondering what's going on
5:07
Speaker 1: for the day, What time are we leaving, What time
5:08
Speaker 1: do I have to be at dance? What time is practiced?
5:11
Speaker 1: When are we going? When are we this? Keep in
5:13
Speaker 1: mind I've already done a two hour practice with forty
5:17
Speaker 1: minutes of traveling at up at five point thirty in
5:20
Speaker 1: the morning, right, and I just feel like I do
5:24
Speaker 1: what every dad does when he just needs a little
5:27
Speaker 1: bit of peace. Right, you say, hey, let's all take
5:32
Speaker 1: a moment, let's have a little something. The wife, God
5:36
Speaker 1: bless her, comes home with a little surprise treet for
5:38
Speaker 1: the kids. She gets some Timmy hos donuts. Right, so
5:43
Speaker 1: you're thinking, all right, donuts, morale boost, donuts, unity, donuts.
5:49
Speaker 1: Ma is cool. Ma is the best, you know. So
5:55
Speaker 1: she comes in. She's got them all like she just
5:57
Speaker 1: secured a treaty. I got you your favorite one with
6:02
Speaker 1: those sprinkles. I got you your favorite with the jelly,
6:04
Speaker 1: I got you your favorite with the chocolate. I got
6:06
Speaker 1: you your favorite. This very well thought out. Right there
6:11
Speaker 1: they are, go get a donut, right, Well, it opens up.
6:15
Speaker 1: It's almost like twelve symbols of temporary harmony. And then
6:19
Speaker 1: if they chosen donut, all of a sudden, everybody wants
6:23
Speaker 1: the jelly donut. Everybody wants this one. Well, other people
6:28
Speaker 1: already have the donut in their hand. Well, then all
6:30
Speaker 1: of a sudden, a little bit of some arguing, you know,
6:34
Speaker 1: kids are eating donuts and crying, and some more arguing.
6:37
Speaker 1: You know, this one was here, and immediately the tension shifted, right,
6:42
Speaker 1: he said, I can have it. Well, I like this one.
6:44
Speaker 1: And something just started happening internally with me. I guess
6:50
Speaker 1: you know that feeling where you're blood starts to boil.
6:54
Speaker 1: I guess they sit there, you know, your jaw titans
6:57
Speaker 1: and you don't even realize it. You try to make
7:00
Speaker 1: you try to, you know, have some reasoning, you try
7:03
Speaker 1: to do this all and unfortunately I go a little
7:08
Speaker 1: bit nuclear. And I mean I didn't mean to do it.
7:12
Speaker 1: It just kind of happened. It was kind of everything
7:15
Speaker 1: building up and I don't know, it's just one of
7:19
Speaker 1: those things. Get a little spasy. The room goes silence,
7:25
Speaker 1: and I just feel old. I feel terrible, or a
7:29
Speaker 1: donut over a donut. So then we just kind of,
7:35
Speaker 1: you know, recroup as a family. You know, I apologize,
7:42
Speaker 1: everything's good. We decide to go in and start taking
7:45
Speaker 1: down our Christmas tree. Yep, it's almost March, and we
7:49
Speaker 1: finally had a moment of just like, hey, everybody's stressed,
7:54
Speaker 1: everybody's this let's just let's just get it done. So
7:58
Speaker 1: we attacked the Christmas tree as a family of five,
8:01
Speaker 1: put in together the you know, the the fragile ornaments,
8:05
Speaker 1: and we definitely don't have a real tree. We have,
8:08
Speaker 1: you know, a fake Christmas tree that was passed down
8:11
Speaker 1: from my parents into our house. I mean, it is
8:15
Speaker 1: a beautiful tree, even for almost March. So we take
8:19
Speaker 1: it all down, We put them in the totes, we
8:20
Speaker 1: carry it here. We do this, we do that, We
8:21
Speaker 1: do that to a vacuum, and it's weird that taking
8:25
Speaker 1: down a Christmas tree in March is what needed to
8:28
Speaker 1: happen to kind of balance out the house and the
8:33
Speaker 1: donut debate, the donut, the nuclear donut. I guess that
8:38
Speaker 1: is what it is. So again, you're not alone. You know,
8:42
Speaker 1: every one of us just kind of have that moment
8:44
Speaker 1: that we just tension comes out, the stress comes out.
8:48
Speaker 1: It's not exactly perfectly timed, it's not when we want,
8:50
Speaker 1: but it is what it is. And it was the
8:52
Speaker 1: day after not that I'm making excuses or anything like that,
8:55
Speaker 1: but it was after a birthday, and you know, it
8:58
Speaker 1: was forty last year, wife kind of you know, got
9:02
Speaker 1: a bunch of people together, all that stuff. We all
9:04
Speaker 1: talked about how I'm old, they're old. It was just
9:09
Speaker 1: kind of good catching up and everything like that. And
9:11
Speaker 1: then this year it was just it was kind of nice.
9:14
Speaker 1: It was quiet. Yeah, the family got together, we did
9:17
Speaker 1: a little bit of some bowling. Yeah, we went and
9:20
Speaker 1: had a nice little dinner, you know, a Miller latte
9:23
Speaker 1: here there. I don't know, it just started add up
9:28
Speaker 1: a little bit. It seems like the older you get,
9:30
Speaker 1: the more quiet birthdays seemed to get. You know, I
9:35
Speaker 1: started thinking, like, forty one, it's not ancient. I mean,
9:38
Speaker 1: I'm not at retirement age by any means. I'm not
9:42
Speaker 1: gonna just be chilling in a rock and chair style
9:45
Speaker 1: territory or whatever. Although that does sound really nice. I
9:48
Speaker 1: don't even know if I own a rocking chair. But
9:51
Speaker 1: it's different because, in my opinion, for me, somewhere between
9:56
Speaker 1: thirty eight and forty one, something kind of shifted, you
9:59
Speaker 1: know what I mean. You stop feeling like that young,
10:02
Speaker 1: cool dad where you can still you know, go play
10:05
Speaker 1: some pickup ball and not be sore. You know, you
10:08
Speaker 1: go and have a tea party and you're a little
10:11
Speaker 1: more sore. But I'm also at the age when my
10:13
Speaker 1: kids are too old to kind of have tea parties anymore.
10:16
Speaker 1: You know, you you're at that age now you kind
10:19
Speaker 1: of start feeling like the pillar, right Like like if
10:23
Speaker 1: you wobble, the house starts to wobble. You know, you
10:27
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and you don't you don't see
10:29
Speaker 1: the that guy with potential anymore, if that makes sense.
10:35
Speaker 1: You're forty one, you've been doing your career, your your
10:40
Speaker 1: line of work for a while. It's not like you're gonna,
10:44
Speaker 1: you know, have those huge goals where you know, you're
10:48
Speaker 1: going to go to college and be a doctor, You're
10:50
Speaker 1: going to go to college and be a lawyer, You're
10:51
Speaker 1: going to start your own business. You're an entrepreneur, you're
10:54
Speaker 1: a YouTube star, whatever it is. I mean, forty one,
10:58
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You look in that mirror again,
11:01
Speaker 1: and it's not a guy with potential. It's a guy
11:03
Speaker 1: responsible for everything, right, like birthdays, Valentine's Day, you know, Christmases,
11:11
Speaker 1: all the holidays, you know, the dad stuff, the husband stuff,
11:15
Speaker 1: the coaching stuff. Yeah, I add a little bit more
11:18
Speaker 1: to my plate than you know that one guy that
11:20
Speaker 1: you go to the buffet with it knows that they
11:22
Speaker 1: got to get their fifteen ninety nine work for food right.
11:25
Speaker 1: And as you turn you know, forty one. The birthdays
11:29
Speaker 1: I used to feel like progress, but now they almost
11:31
Speaker 1: feel like an evaluation. It's like, man, I'm another year
11:35
Speaker 1: closer to a colonoscopy. I'm another year closer to that
11:39
Speaker 1: prostate exam. I'm another year closer to you know, the
11:43
Speaker 1: kids graduating, They're getting older. Yeah, and you're starting to
11:47
Speaker 1: get a little closer retirement than when you started to
11:50
Speaker 1: are you gonna be ready? You start to think like,
11:53
Speaker 1: what if I built am I head? Am I behind?
11:57
Speaker 1: Am I right where I need to be? And you know,
11:59
Speaker 1: if all of that isn't the scary part, you almost
12:04
Speaker 1: really don't have time to sit and think about all
12:07
Speaker 1: of the things that I just mentioned that I try
12:09
Speaker 1: to sit down and think about, right because you know,
12:11
Speaker 1: somebody needs a ride, you have practice, someone needs some money,
12:15
Speaker 1: someone you know is arguing about pastry, someone wants to
12:20
Speaker 1: and it's it's just life. You know. At this point,
12:23
Speaker 1: that little bit of reflection, it seems to happen in
12:26
Speaker 1: micro moments. Right, You're exhausted, and I know exhaustion is
12:30
Speaker 1: truly temporary exhaustion after a long basketball season for everybody,
12:36
Speaker 1: a very long, brutal winter, that exhaustion, it's it's been
12:40
Speaker 1: holding on a little bit too long. And maybe it
12:42
Speaker 1: is because I'm forty one and I'm starting to feel
12:44
Speaker 1: a little bit. But man, that reflection, when it happened
12:48
Speaker 1: to micro moments, it's it's like it's like standing in
12:51
Speaker 1: the kitchen and realizing that you just delivered a monolog
12:56
Speaker 1: over baked goods. It's it's wild. For anybody that's already
13:00
Speaker 1: live through this, you're probably sitting here laughing, being like
13:02
Speaker 1: forty one Jesus, wait till you get them fifty if
13:05
Speaker 1: you're struggling with that, and god darn it, you can lait.
13:09
Speaker 1: And if you're not there yet, this isn't me trying
13:11
Speaker 1: to scare you. This is just me being real. What's
13:14
Speaker 1: relatable to me and my friends. We all go through stuff,
13:17
Speaker 1: and I have it pretty good. I'm not here complaining.
13:19
Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, trying to make this a weird
13:21
Speaker 1: emotional advice spot. We're just we're just out here living life.
13:27
Speaker 1: One timmy host, don't it at a time. Let's let's
13:32
Speaker 1: talk about something a little bit real. Let's talk about
13:34
Speaker 1: the fuel oil, the national grid, the groceries, the insurance
13:36
Speaker 1: of car repairs, the sports A, random fees, the jerseys,
13:39
Speaker 1: the dance class. Who why does everything feel like it
13:42
Speaker 1: costs twenty seven percent more than it did like five
13:46
Speaker 1: minutes ago? And I mean, we can't really just sit
13:50
Speaker 1: around panicking about this, right And I've even stopped just
13:54
Speaker 1: trying to keep track of things in spreadsheets. I tried
13:57
Speaker 1: to stop quietly calculating things, you know, because you just
14:02
Speaker 1: kind of get caught up and get kind of caught
14:04
Speaker 1: up in the stress of the finances constantly. All of
14:07
Speaker 1: a sudden, something happens, that little check engine light comes on,
14:12
Speaker 1: or in my wife's case, every single light on the dish.
14:16
Speaker 1: You know, when she's gonna break something, she's gonna break
14:18
Speaker 1: it good. And then you find out that you also
14:20
Speaker 1: need breaks. And then you find out out of the
14:22
Speaker 1: blue you need four tires, and then you find out
14:24
Speaker 1: that you need this, and then you're like, well, there
14:26
Speaker 1: goes the four tires. We also need it on the track.
14:30
Speaker 1: Life just happens, right, and I feel like we all
14:33
Speaker 1: get that feeling, not the feeling where sneeze comes out
14:36
Speaker 1: of nowhere in the middle of a podcast, but the
14:37
Speaker 1: feeling when a build notification pops up, or maybe you
14:42
Speaker 1: use one of those money rocketing apps and it's like, well,
14:45
Speaker 1: three bills are due this week, and you can swipe
14:49
Speaker 1: away all the notifications you can, but you still know
14:53
Speaker 1: that you gotta make ends me and you always do
14:56
Speaker 1: find a way to make a meat. But it just
14:59
Speaker 1: feel like a lot sometimes. And then you start to
15:01
Speaker 1: do some math and then you're like, well, my math
15:03
Speaker 1: teacher was rod, I probably should have really focused on
15:07
Speaker 1: the X plus y equals z x y the third.
15:10
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day you figure it
15:13
Speaker 1: out and then you think, all right, we're fine. We're
15:16
Speaker 1: fine again this month. But fine, let's be honest, isn't
15:19
Speaker 1: it's not very comfortable? Fine is tight? Fine as strategic?
15:24
Speaker 1: Fine is you knowing exactly how many days until the
15:28
Speaker 1: next deposit hits? Nobody sees that, But I truly think
15:33
Speaker 1: we're pretty much all going through it, right, And let's
15:36
Speaker 1: be honest. Dads don't typically sit here and try to announce,
15:40
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, just so you know, I'm currently managing six
15:45
Speaker 1: invisible stress streams right at the same current moment, and
15:48
Speaker 1: that's just today. And then tomorrow we're gonna take those
15:51
Speaker 1: six stress streams and the damn is gonna break, and
15:53
Speaker 1: then it's gonna turn into twelve, and then we're gonna
15:56
Speaker 1: have just a stress lake that's gonna potentially then flow
16:00
Speaker 1: from here all the way to the ocean, which ocean
16:03
Speaker 1: not really sure. I didn't pay attention in geography class,
16:06
Speaker 1: but it's pretty good. And then we just keep moving,
16:11
Speaker 1: we keep showing up, we keep paying, and sometimes it
16:15
Speaker 1: just leaks out through donuts. And then on top of
16:20
Speaker 1: all the stress, you have that dad guilt, that parent
16:23
Speaker 1: guilt where you just feel like garbage that kids have
16:27
Speaker 1: moved on, the wife's moved on, everybody's moved on, but
16:32
Speaker 1: it's still just is eating you up like like a
16:35
Speaker 1: tape worm, except for I don't appear to be losing
16:39
Speaker 1: any other way with a tapeworm, but it just it
16:42
Speaker 1: eats us up. And it's okay, you're not alone, or
16:46
Speaker 1: I'll go and throw it together. And then you can
16:49
Speaker 1: really beat yourself up and when you overly think why
16:52
Speaker 1: are we going through all of this craziness? But again
16:58
Speaker 1: we're getting through there. Here's the irony right stressed about bills,
17:04
Speaker 1: but I'm willingly buying sports cards because well that's what
17:11
Speaker 1: the kids are super into and low key I love
17:15
Speaker 1: it and it's been an interesting little hobby of ours.
17:20
Speaker 1: Started with a little of this and a card here,
17:23
Speaker 1: a pack here, next thing you know, it's two binders,
17:26
Speaker 1: three binders, thirty dollars to store things, trying to go
17:31
Speaker 1: live on the app whatn having no entire clue what
17:34
Speaker 1: we're doing on whatnot having the entire stream set up
17:38
Speaker 1: live for forty five minutes to have one person try
17:42
Speaker 1: to buy a fifty dollars card for fifteen bucks and
17:45
Speaker 1: then get mad when you're like, it's worth way more
17:48
Speaker 1: than that. How you realize you're a little stressed out
17:50
Speaker 1: with that? Why are you adding more stress? But then
17:52
Speaker 1: you look to your left and that's one kid. You
17:54
Speaker 1: look to your right, one kid, and you're building something.
17:58
Speaker 1: You're building a passion whole and excitement, something that they can,
18:03
Speaker 1: you know, pass down to their kids, to their families
18:07
Speaker 1: someday and boy cards. Not exactly sure why I did,
18:14
Speaker 1: and for whatever reason, I have quickly learned that there's
18:19
Speaker 1: a lot of ways to buy cards in a dumb way,
18:21
Speaker 1: you know, the chasing the brakes and overpaying for this
18:25
Speaker 1: and not doing enough research. So it's been cool to
18:27
Speaker 1: not only educate myself chat with a couple of buddies
18:29
Speaker 1: that do it, but then pass this information of the kids.
18:32
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, when the kid buys
18:34
Speaker 1: a card for two or three dollars because they're a kid,
18:36
Speaker 1: and sometimes an adult's like, I got you, kid, I
18:38
Speaker 1: see that passion. It's a forty dollars card. It's pretty sweet.
18:42
Speaker 1: Hey do you want to sell it? Flip and make
18:43
Speaker 1: a little of money. No no, no, no, oh no, I
18:46
Speaker 1: love this card. And it turns out my kids have
18:49
Speaker 1: expensive taste on the cards. They love the page backers,
18:52
Speaker 1: they love the Caitlin Carlark, they love them homes that Kelsey,
18:57
Speaker 1: the Josh Allens, the Jackson, the Cooper Flags, all the
19:02
Speaker 1: really hard expensive ones. You try your best just to
19:06
Speaker 1: go in there, and you know they don't want just
19:09
Speaker 1: the common cards. They want the good cards. And well,
19:15
Speaker 1: I think there's a time where we can still push
19:16
Speaker 1: the excitement potentially for the dollar to three dollars, you know,
19:20
Speaker 1: base cards, but I know quickly it's going to change
19:23
Speaker 1: to we want the autograph, the number, the refractor, this
19:26
Speaker 1: labbed PSA ten And I stand there trying to do
19:31
Speaker 1: mental gymnastics like, oh my god, that's sixty dollars, that's
19:35
Speaker 1: eighty dollars, that's a feel money, that's dinner, that's but
19:40
Speaker 1: there's just something about them being able to see them,
19:43
Speaker 1: organize them rip that pack. That's just really cool. And
19:47
Speaker 1: we are going to continually try to find cards that
19:51
Speaker 1: we can flip, buy more packs, flip and just kind
19:53
Speaker 1: of play the game. It's tough in the area that
19:55
Speaker 1: we are but I'm learning a lot, and we will
19:58
Speaker 1: figure out a way to to be able to do that.
20:00
Speaker 1: We will figure out a way to continually have their
20:03
Speaker 1: eyes light up. I mean, the other day, the youngest
20:05
Speaker 1: couldn't wait the show. Every single person would look at
20:09
Speaker 1: their new binder and how full it is. And again
20:13
Speaker 1: the wife Valentine's Day magic. She just sees, she sees
20:18
Speaker 1: the things that I can't, the little magical moments, and
20:20
Speaker 1: continually builds it and it's just so amazing. I'm so
20:24
Speaker 1: lucky to have her and that in my life. But
20:27
Speaker 1: I'm starting to realize the money, the cardboard, the plastic
20:32
Speaker 1: and everything, it's it's more than just cards. It's it's
20:36
Speaker 1: a connection. It's memories, and it's them wanting to spend
20:40
Speaker 1: time with me, sitting with me at the table, spending
20:42
Speaker 1: time organizing, watching them and just letting them there's no
20:46
Speaker 1: right way to to to be organized, but their way
20:51
Speaker 1: is the right way, all right, and just letting them
20:54
Speaker 1: kind of run with it. You know. It's it's them
20:58
Speaker 1: sitting there doing support cards. They're not on their cell phones,
21:01
Speaker 1: they're not rolling their eyes, they're not fighting over down
21:05
Speaker 1: aut there. They're wanting to hang out they're wanting to bond,
21:08
Speaker 1: they're wanting to be a part of whatever this is.
21:11
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, they're gonna get
21:12
Speaker 1: all these cards. They're gonna get all of them. Sorry
21:16
Speaker 1: that I'm a Pirates fan. Hopefully they're good someday because
21:19
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a lot of Pittsburgh stuff and all
21:22
Speaker 1: of this realization through the stress and everything like it.
21:25
Speaker 1: It really hits me right in the chest, you know,
21:27
Speaker 1: because there's gonna be one day that they aren't gonna
21:31
Speaker 1: want to do this, you know what I mean. One
21:33
Speaker 1: day they're gonna be busy, they're gonna be grown, they're
21:35
Speaker 1: gonna be gone, they're gonna be having the same stress
21:40
Speaker 1: that we're going through now. Our parents have been through.
21:42
Speaker 1: Their parents have been through. And let's be honest, those
21:46
Speaker 1: cards they won't matter, but the memory will. So I'm
21:51
Speaker 1: constantly it seems like balancing a couple of truths, you know,
21:54
Speaker 1: like be responsible but don't miss it, and that tension
21:59
Speaker 1: that's adulthood at forty one, and then after the doughnut thing,
22:05
Speaker 1: I went outside, you know, just needed a breathe went
22:08
Speaker 1: to the studio and thought like, why did this hit
22:11
Speaker 1: me so hard? And I feel like the answer is
22:14
Speaker 1: kind of simple, like I'm tired, not physically exhausted, I'm
22:17
Speaker 1: just mentally responsible. And I feel like there is a difference,
22:22
Speaker 1: because mentally responsible means like you're always aware of the money,
22:26
Speaker 1: of the schedule, the future of the house, the car,
22:27
Speaker 1: the bills, the emotional temperature and the room living with
22:32
Speaker 1: all girls and all of that whole beast. Like I
22:35
Speaker 1: feel like I'm always scanning, I'm always anticipating, I'm always
22:39
Speaker 1: really trying to hold it together when something small just
22:43
Speaker 1: tips it. It's not about the thing, It's about the
22:45
Speaker 1: accumulation of all of the things. I mean, we're all battling,
22:50
Speaker 1: we're all going through this, and you know, as I
22:52
Speaker 1: reflect and getting older and remembering those moments in my house,
22:57
Speaker 1: having it make any sense definitely, unfortunately makes a lot
23:03
Speaker 1: of sense. And kind of like I already said, you know,
23:05
Speaker 1: I took my deep breath, I went into the studio
23:07
Speaker 1: and just apologized. You know what I mean, They say
23:12
Speaker 1: apologizing saying you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness. No,
23:15
Speaker 1: it's not a sign of weakness. It's it's me just
23:19
Speaker 1: wanting them to see something important that dads can mess
23:22
Speaker 1: up too. Dads can get overwhelmed too, Dads can overreact,
23:27
Speaker 1: but dad's also correct themselves. And I told them it
23:31
Speaker 1: wasn't about the donut, and I'm sorry, you know what
23:34
Speaker 1: I mean. They finished the donuts. Hopefully they've moved on.
23:40
Speaker 1: We all did. The rest of our day, seemed to
23:43
Speaker 1: go pretty well, played some games, there was some laughs,
23:45
Speaker 1: and we all just kind of moved on for that.
23:48
Speaker 1: But me, it's a learning lesson, like how do I
23:50
Speaker 1: get to that point and be able to just elsa,
23:55
Speaker 1: just let it go, you know what I mean. It's
23:58
Speaker 1: always a reminder, always a learning lesson that the season
24:02
Speaker 1: is heavy, but it's also good, right, And forty one
24:06
Speaker 1: I keep telling myself, like, yeah, it's a number. Forty
24:09
Speaker 1: one isn't old. Forty One's the season of so I'm
24:12
Speaker 1: gonna start calling them They're not years. There's seasons, right,
24:15
Speaker 1: like in sports or sports seasons. Forty one is gonna
24:18
Speaker 1: be the season of responsibility, pressure, pride, fear, love, memory making,
24:25
Speaker 1: and future planning. It's carrying the house quietly, right. It's
24:30
Speaker 1: watching your kids grow faster than I'm definitely comfortable with. Right.
24:34
Speaker 1: It's trying to be a lot healthier you know, starting
24:38
Speaker 1: with the food we eat, the exercise we do, and
24:41
Speaker 1: the hydration the proteins and really passing that along to
24:44
Speaker 1: the kids. But it's also like the stress eating. Something
24:49
Speaker 1: you price in with, probably for me, is that ice
24:51
Speaker 1: cream nine o'clock at night, when you're just getting home
24:55
Speaker 1: from a long day of basketball and not having a
24:58
Speaker 1: result you want just taking it out on a bullet
25:02
Speaker 1: ice cream. It it's checking the thermostat like I personally
25:06
Speaker 1: control the power grid. It's laughing one minute and trying
25:10
Speaker 1: to calculate everything we got going on the next, it's
25:14
Speaker 1: yelling about donuts and then realizing like we're just all human, right,
25:21
Speaker 1: And these moments you really try to you know, life's
25:25
Speaker 1: about going from the one moment to the next, and
25:29
Speaker 1: hopefully you can get from the happy moments to the
25:31
Speaker 1: happy moments without not too many bad moments in between,
25:34
Speaker 1: and find a way to create more of those and
25:37
Speaker 1: maybe at a moment where you realize like seems like
25:40
Speaker 1: everybody in the area has gone on a vacation, and
25:43
Speaker 1: knowing that your family's here and you know, one day
25:47
Speaker 1: we're gonna hopefully be able to have that vacation because
25:50
Speaker 1: the kids are getting older, and those are the memories.
25:54
Speaker 1: You know, hopeful, hopefully we'll be able to get there.
25:57
Speaker 1: You know. So again, if you're in your late thirties,
26:00
Speaker 1: maybe you're in early forties, If you feel the financial pressure,
26:04
Speaker 1: if you're constantly calculating, if you've snapped over something that's
26:09
Speaker 1: just small, something that's just plain and silly. If you're
26:13
Speaker 1: trying to build memories while trying to manage stress, you're
26:18
Speaker 1: not failing. You're carrying and carrying well. It can be
26:23
Speaker 1: pretty heavy, but you're still showing up. You're still making
26:28
Speaker 1: it to those awards ceremonies, You're still making it to
26:31
Speaker 1: the games. You're still making it that a classes, the dance,
26:35
Speaker 1: the basketball, the softball, soccer, you name it right, And
26:41
Speaker 1: you're still getting the donuts. You're still opening those packs
26:45
Speaker 1: of cards, You're still have lights on, and you still
26:49
Speaker 1: have heat in the house. You're still trying, and that
26:54
Speaker 1: is what counts. You're still trying. Now, I feel excuse me,
27:00
Speaker 1: there's nobody else home. Maybe there's a couple of donus left.
27:04
Speaker 1: So before the next well fight starts, I was debate
27:08
Speaker 1: and having one if my stomach was a little bit stronger.
27:12
Speaker 1: Let's be honest, I just had a birthday. The kids
27:15
Speaker 1: made a fantastic and a wife birthday cake. Maybe I
27:19
Speaker 1: could sneak in a little slice. You know. We had
27:22
Speaker 1: the Valentine's Day homemade pizza, we had the cake, we
27:27
Speaker 1: had there was some good stuff in there. So yeah,
27:31
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go sneak in a little meal before well,
27:35
Speaker 1: I get caught and the family gets home, because I
27:37
Speaker 1: gotta go play dad taxi. Right, but before we do,
27:42
Speaker 1: there's just one more thing that I need to remind
27:45
Speaker 1: you of. Right, stay on in my fridge. That's all
27:49
Speaker 1: we got. We'll be back next week. Hopefully you're still
27:52
Speaker 1: here watching this. I know it's a little bit emotional,
27:54
Speaker 1: it's a little bit relatable. Hopefully some of it's not
27:57
Speaker 1: all relatable, but it's it's just me being me and
28:00
Speaker 1: this is what I had this week. Try to get
28:02
Speaker 1: the co host Isola to come back next week change
28:05
Speaker 1: the mood a little bit because maybe you enjoy her banter.
28:08
Speaker 1: I know, I truly love sitting down and having a
28:10
Speaker 1: conversation with her, So hopefully I'll get her to come
28:13
Speaker 1: back next week. But either way, can't thank you enough
28:16
Speaker 1: from the bottom of my beard. Taking some time out
28:19
Speaker 1: of your busy day to give this a watch, to
28:20
Speaker 1: give this a lesson, and again check out all the
28:23
Speaker 1: friends in the links and the descriptions below, and we
28:27
Speaker 1: will be back next week at least I will again
28:30
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Take care. Everybody knocking? Who's there?
28:34
Speaker 1: It's the podcast. You a toys, Stay out of my
28:37
Speaker 1: fish were ready to store. Gotta tail a tale gonna
28:41
Speaker 1: make you laugh and make you smile. So up, tie,
28:45
Speaker 1: it's gonna be you tiving deep into your fish with see.
28:52
Speaker 1: If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review,
28:56
Speaker 1: and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow.
29:00
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.