Latest / SHeCOMMERCE / Ep 38: Kirsten Stendevad - Don't Upgrade Your Technology, Upgrade Yourself!

Transcript

Ep 38: Kirsten Stendevad - Don't Upgrade Your Technology, Upgrade Yourself! · SHeCOMMERCE

0:08
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to SheCommerce, where power women and real talk collide in the world of commerce.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm Christina.
0:14
SPEAKER_02: And I'm Jackie.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: Every episode we sit down with leaders who aren't just navigating change.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: They're creating it.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: And today we're talking about something every leader is wrestling with right now.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: The future.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Dun dun dun.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: AI is definitely transforming work we do today.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: The industries we work in are being disrupted overnight.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: You know, this pace of change really does feel relentless.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: It's it's kind of unprecedented.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: And everywhere you look, we have leaders asking, and brands and companies, how do I stay relevant?
0:58
SPEAKER_02: But what if that's the wrong question?
1:02
SPEAKER_02: What if the real question today is not how does technology evolve?
1:09
SPEAKER_02: But actually, how do we evolve alongside it?
1:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God, how many times have you and I had this conversation, Christina?
1:19
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
1:21
SPEAKER_01: I had a dollar.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh and we, you know, today's guest is perfect for this, right?
1:26
SPEAKER_01: Because she is one of those leaders who who speaks about the importance of evolving.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: And not only does she speak about it, but she has embodied it and lived it.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, but we'll get to her in a bit.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, one big thing she talks about is the need to upgrade your operating system.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: So before we dive in, let's let's spill some tea though.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: And today's tea definitely has one common thread, and that's around the future belonging to leaders who can evolve faster than the world around them first.
2:01
SPEAKER_01: So let's start by maybe celebrating a trailblazing female leader, Jackie.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I thank you.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: I I like that you call me a trailblazing female leader.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: Not you.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: Damn it.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: It's not about you.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: It's it's always about me, Christina.
2:19
SPEAKER_02: Have you do you not know me at all?
2:21
SPEAKER_03: I do, yeah.
2:22
SPEAKER_02: But as soon as it came back, let's think.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: And you better believe it.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, but also enough about me, but really more about me.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: Let's raise our mugs for this one.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: It is so brilliant.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: Disney Cruise, the Disney Cruise line has officially named Captain Maria Gotor as its first ever female ship captain with Maria taking the hell of the Disney Wish.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Yay.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: First of all, love this so much.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: And I have such a great idea.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: Us to do a podcast on the Disney Wish inside the whatever the engine room, right?
3:09
SPEAKER_01: The room there.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: That would be so much fun.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: So Captain Maria.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: We love you.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: And her story makes it so like even better, right?
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Maria actually started her career, get this, as a lawyer in Spain.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: And then a chance encounter that she had with a ferry captain opened her eyes to this entirely different career path.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: So she went back to school, earned a master's degree in nautical engineering and maritime navigation.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Literally changed course.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh, boom, boom.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
3:56
SPEAKER_02: But fast forward to today, and she's commanding 144,000 tons, baby, of steel.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: That's not just breaking a glass ceiling, that's like smashing it to pieces and taking the wheel.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: We love obviously seeing women step into roles where for far too long they simply weren't represented.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: And I can't believe this is the first female captain.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, that's crazy.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: But we especially love a reminder that the career you started with does not have to define the leader you became or be the career you you um are in now.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh, 100%.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, look at us.
4:43
SPEAKER_03: Right?
4:44
SPEAKER_02: There's a re and then you're never ever too old.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: But Captain Maria, we see you.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: We salute you, ma'am.
4:55
SPEAKER_02: Now that is a She Commerce power move.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: And we'll be sliding into your DM shortly.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: All right, our next two stories may look pretty different on the surface.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna talk about commerce AI and women at work, but they all point to the same question.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: As the world changes faster, what actually gives us an edge?
5:20
SPEAKER_01: And spoiler alert, it might be a lot more human than technological.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: So T number one.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: Today's lap song Sushong on commerce is TikTok is coming for the whole damn funnel.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Now, Christina, this one really caught our attention, right?
5:43
SPEAKER_02: So TikTok shop is no longer just a cute little social commercial experiment.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: No, it is according to consumer edge data reported by Business Insider, TikTok Shop accounted for about 2% of US online retail spending in July, up from uh about 1.2% about a year ago.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: And get this US spending on TikTok shop was actually greater than online spending at retailers, including Target, Costco, and Home Depot.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean I think we've talked about this before, but like a lot of companies see TikTok as a marketing, you know, tactic, social media activation.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: And no, like they have cemented themselves as a channel, right?
6:35
SPEAKER_01: I mean the clue is in the name.
6:38
SPEAKER_01: Right?
6:38
SPEAKER_01: Shop talk shop.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's wild to think about like where they started, right?
6:44
SPEAKER_01: TikTok owned discovery, you saw the product, you wanted the product, and then very often you went somewhere else outside of TikTok shop.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: Hello, Amazon, to buy the product.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: That's all changing.
6:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it really is.
6:58
SPEAKER_02: But saying that, you know, TikTok just doesn't want to hand off uh that conversion anymore.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: It's now introducing prime style membership perks, including free shipping.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: Wow, while continuing to invest in logistics, seller services, and creator-led commerce.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: It's basically and that's the part that commerce leaders need to be more paying more attention to because it isn't just another channel getting bigger, it's a reminder, again, that these lines between media, discovery, community, and transaction are are disappearing and like right in front of our eyes.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: It's unsiloing the silos, right?
7:45
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: And your future competitor may not look anything like your current competitor.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: And that five-year strategy you built for that stable marketplace, hello, out the door.
7:59
SPEAKER_02: The marketplace did not get that memo.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: So the question isn't just how do we keep up with TikTok?
8:07
SPEAKER_01: It's how do we build an organization and leaders that are capable of adapting when all the rules of play keep changing.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Which I think brings us very nicely to tea number two.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: What flavor?
8:23
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm gonna make this a zesty mint tea.
8:30
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, zesty mint.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't know the 50 ones, but I'm in the US.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Ooh, stir away, darling.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: Stir away.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: I'll take it.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: All right.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: So because companies are all racing to adopt AI, we know that.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: There may be a much bigger issue high hiding underneath all that technology, and we're gonna touch on it today, too, but that leadership alignment.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, we saw that Microsoft's 2026 Work Trend Index, which surveyed about 20,000 AI users across 10 markets, showed that only 26% said 26% said that leadership is clearly and consistently aligned around AI, which means 74% of the time they are misaligned or not clear.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: That that's that's a big number.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: First of all, 26%.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: Secondly, that's good mathing.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: Excellent on you know, on the go math.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: Well done.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Um, so we're spending gazillions upgrading the technology.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: But are we upgrading the organizations and the people leading them at the same speed?
9:49
SPEAKER_01: No.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: My Microsoft describes a kind of transformation paradox that employees are feeling this pressure to adapt and reinvent, reinvent how they work while the systems around them, the incentives, the expectations, the old ways of operating are still reinforcing business as usual.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: So how it's a you know, it's a lose-lose.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 100%.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: And that's and and this is where I think it gets really interesting, right?
10:17
SPEAKER_02: We've spent so much time asking what AI can do.
10:22
SPEAKER_02: What can it do?
10:23
SPEAKER_02: But are leaders actually spending any time asking, what do we need to become so that AI can do more?
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Are we thinking about how to properly and efficiently and intelligently and in a future-proofed way using AI for our teams, our organization, our product line, our service line?
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: Because yeah, we know that those barriers to entry are removed here and it's leveling the playing field if we all have that similar access to technology.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: So the differentiator isn't the tool anymore, it's how you're using it, right?
11:09
SPEAKER_01: That curiosity, your adaptability, the the courage to lean in there and knowing which questions you should be asking in the first place.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: In other words, maybe the AI transformation is not actually the technology transformation, it is a leadership transformation.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: I believe so.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: All right, lastly, the she.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: And this is our final tea.
11:39
SPEAKER_03: Because one of the things we keep oh gosh.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: Um sweet tea.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yum.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Milo's.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Milo, crazy.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: Hey.
11:51
SPEAKER_01: Um, all right.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: So one of the things we keep hearing about the future of leadership is the so-called human skills, right?
11:58
SPEAKER_01: They're becoming more and more valuable around like empathy and emotional intelligence, ability to trust, uh, connection, etc., right?
12:07
SPEAKER_01: That all sounds great.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, totally.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: Except who is actually doing that work?
12:16
SPEAKER_02: A recent business insider uh piece looked at something researchers called the empathy tax.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: The largely invisible work of absorbing anxiety, supporting colleagues, and tending to people's emotional well-being at work.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, dang, I feel this.
12:33
SPEAKER_02: And it appears to fall disproportionately on women.
12:37
SPEAKER_02: Shaqara, I'm so surprised.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think there was one stat in there that really uh surprised me.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: The uh Harvard Business just happened.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: That was weird.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: And see, it stacked my computer too.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: It was like, what's happening here?
12:59
SPEAKER_01: All right, well, Harvard Business School researchers surveyed more than 350 professional women in managerial roles, and more than 80% of them said that they spend at least 30% of their work week on caring tasks.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: Caring tasks defined as like listening, encouraging others, checking in, managing the emotional temperature around them for others.
13:22
SPEAKER_01: So that's more than a full day every week that is spent on that, which is kind of crazy to think about.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's just the average, right?
13:32
SPEAKER_02: Many women provide so much more.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: And this creates really uncomfortable tension.
13:37
SPEAKER_02: We're suddenly calling leadership leadership and empathy and a uh empathy a leadership superpower.
13:45
SPEAKER_02: But women have been doing this work for years, often invisibly, often without it appearing in the job description.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: Do you see how many times do you see empathy in a job description, Christina?
13:59
SPEAKER_01: Never.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: Never exactly.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: And very often without being rewarded for it.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: Potentially being held back from it because maybe they're seen as not as productive as some of their counterparts because of it.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: So I think maybe the conversation isn't simple simply should leadership become more empathetic?
14:20
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's how do we value these deeply human leadership capabilities, especially as differentiators in a world of AI, without simply loading even more invisible work onto women disproportionately.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: I need a bell.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: I need a bell, Christina.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: Swag.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: I need a bell.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: And absolutely yes.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: Because we don't want feminine leadership to become another way of saying, congratulations, ladies.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: Here's even more emotional labor.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I like that accent.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: I like that too.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: It's cute.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: It's like your French accent.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: All right.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, well, TikTok is rewriting the rules of commerce as rewriting the rules of work, and the qualities we're starting to value most in leadership may be the very qualities we've historically dismissed as just soft skills and non-essential.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Which brings us to today's guest.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Because maybe the common thread to all three of these stories is this the more technologically advanced our world becomes, the more valuable our distinctly human capabilities may become.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: And maybe future-proofing yourself isn't about trying to compete with the machines.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's just about becoming even better at the things that machines can't replace, like judgment, wisdom, intuition, creativity, connection, and the ability to lead through uncertainty.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: So perhaps the biggest upgrade leaders need right now isn't another piece of technology.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: It's themselves.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: And nobody has been thinking about that question longer than today's guest.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: Today's guest has spent more than 20 years helping executives, founders, and change makers prepare for a future that many people are only beginning to understand today.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: Kirsten Stanabad is the founder of the Illumina International Future Leadership Academy, where she helps leaders develop future agility, resilience, purpose, and what she calls AI complimentary skills that enable people to remain indispensable in an age of exponential change.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: She's also an Amazon, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal best-selling author, and if that's not enough, an executive coach, speaker, and founder, and CEO of International Leadership Academy, where she works with women leaders to cultivate authentic power, wisdom, proactive leadership, and the uniquely human capabilities that AI could never replicate.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: Now that is a huge and very impressive resume.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: But it's not, that's not the thing that drew us to Kirsten.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: It is her fabulous perspective, which you will hear more of as we go through this episode.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: She believes the future isn't something that happens to us.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: It's something we shape from the inside out.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: And in a world obsessed with technology, she's reminding leaders that their greatest upgrade may not be digital and may be deeply human.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: Kirsten, welcome to SheCommerce.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm so, so grateful to be here.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: We're so happy to have you.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, well, let's let's just jump right in.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've we've kind of hinted at this leadership in the age of AI and what it takes.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: And you've famously said that leaders need to upgrade their operating system, not just their technology.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: So, what does that what does that actually mean in practical terms?
18:06
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we see consumer behavior, which is something I'm obsessed with, and it's changing faster than most corporations and their operating models can even keep up with.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: So as you as you explain what that means, also tell us what does a future fit org do differently?
18:23
SPEAKER_01: Everyone, I feel like that's the new buzz phrase, right?
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Future fit.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's also very complex, uh, complex situation we're in, and it's a complex problem you address here.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: But we can simplify it by remembering what good old Einstein said.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: He said, it is not possible to solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: So, in order to solve the myriad of problems humanity has right now, we need to change our level of thinking to a higher level of thinking.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: That's the simple answer.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: This is why I say do not just upgrade technology, upgrade your human operating system.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: Because as long as we are operating on the same level that created these problems, we will not get out of them.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: We will just perpetuate them.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: So that's that's the that's the solution.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: And it sounds more simple than it is, but actually, I have experienced, and I'm sure that uh your you and some of your uh listeners, if not all of them, have experienced this leap, you know, this situation where you have been looping around the situation, and then you suddenly have a leap and you see, aha, you see something you couldn't see before, and that solves everything that that was hitherto a problem.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Um that's why my company is called Illumina, because Illumina means please enlighten me.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: And it's this aha, you know, when the light bulb goes off and we see something that was hidden before.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because the the research into paradigm shifts has actually proven that as that typically the first problems that are solved with the shift in paradigm, paradigm, you know, you know what paradigm is, right?
20:16
SPEAKER_00: You think there's a way of thinking, so a thinking model.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: So as soon as that changes, the problems that were unsolvable with the old paradigm, they dissolve.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: And I think this is such good news for humanity.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: All we need to do is shift our level of thinking.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Ta-da! And then we can get access to a lot of new solutions.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: So that's what I help leaders do.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: And it's it sounds uh, it's it sounds simple, but it's a process, it's a journey.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: That's why I do leadership training as nine-month journeys or 12 month journeys.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: I say it takes nine months to be reborn as a leader with the with an upgraded uh operating system, because it's it's many elements that we need to look at look at.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Our operating system is the foundation of everything else.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: So, for example, if in our operating system we have this piece of code saying, I'm not good enough, or I'm not worthy enough, or I'm not valuable enough, or I need to prove myself and also good enough, that piece of code will affect everything in life.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Your self-worth, your relationships, your way of being a parent, your way of showing up at work, your way of taking leadership.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: But if you upgrade that piece of code to I am perfect human being, an imperfect, imperfectly perfect human being with a specific purpose on this planet that is to contribute as much as I can to the whole.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm just giving an example here, it might be like oversimplified, but if you change that piece of code, you suddenly see something that you couldn't see.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Before.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: You get stuck when you have that piece of code running your life and you the brain is organized such that we are always looking for evidence to what we believe in.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: So that's how our brain is constructed.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: So if you have that piece of code saying, I'm not good enough, you are going to look for evidence here and there and everywhere for that being the truth.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: As soon as you upgrade, you'll see something else that you couldn't see before.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: You'll meet other kinds of people, you will discover all kinds of opportunities, you will see cracks where other people see a crisis, you will see cracks of light.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: You know, it just changes everything.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I believe this is an incredibly important um journey to make.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's not uh it's not an easy one, it takes time, but it can take so much shorter.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I used to read these books with monks and enlightened people and think, oh my god, I mean, how how many years is this enlightenment gonna take?
22:58
SPEAKER_00: And and believe this was just for for monks and and you know, for people who had like uh said no to a material life.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: And and I was not particularly interested in that, to be honest with you, because I'm I I I you know with all due respect, uh it's it's I I'm like uh no, not not in this lifetime.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: But the the good news is that we have a lot of tech now, I mean, including technology, that actually helps us access level, you know, awake to new levels of awareness much, much, much faster.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we can actually evolve at the speed of technology if we want.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: But most people don't know that this possibility exists, and that's one of my missions is to help people see what they might not see quite right now, that there's so much we can do to change the world, and it starts from the inside.
23:50
SPEAKER_01: It's really fascinating.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: I I'd like to nominate a few people to send to you to become enlightened.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: Bringing them on.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Send them to the camp.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Like that would be great.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying I'm enlightened, by the way, but I'm saying that that uh it is fascinating to just to keep expanding your awareness and keep discovering new layers of um possibility.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: So it's and it that's ever expanding, that never stops.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: So when we look at technology and we get concerned, oh my god, this is it's it's just upgrading, you know, it's doubling its capacity every third month, you know, at a certain point.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: It will surpass humans, and that point is not very far away because the the evolution is exponential.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: So when people get scared when they look at that, I say, you know, our possibilities as humans is also exponential and it's also limitless and infinite.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: We have access to infinite creativity.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: This is the exciting about part about being human, but we need to use that possibility instead of insisting on staying at the same level and just getting more and more afraid and more and more panicking and anxiety and and and just like you know, running around like hens who just got their head uh cut off, right?
25:04
SPEAKER_02: There's there are other options.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: Kirsten, that that actually leads me into into my my question, my my question for you around, you know, how you've talked about turning crisis into opportunity.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: Can you can you maybe share a moment in your own career when a challenge became a breakthrough as a consequence of you, I guess, reprogramming your own operating system?
25:33
SPEAKER_00: Well, I can talk about the most I've I've done it many times in my life.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, I have uh I have shifted perspective many times and and thus altered a lot of things around me.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: But the most remarkable time was actually not a career change, but it was something that happened in my personal life.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: And um it it was in 12, around 12.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh I was at the time very successful in my business.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: I had three kids, I was married, I lived in one of the few villas in the middle of Copenhagen, so everything was going so well.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: I was like uh this so-called role model, you know, always in the magazines and on TV and the expert being asked this and that.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: So everything was going well.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, my middle child, who was six at the time, he had some a couple of symptoms that was a little bit mystical, and um just had it for a week, but then we took it into the hospital after that week where he'd complained like of mystical symptoms all week.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: And it turned out that uh my little son had cancer.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: And uh a month later, uh the doctor uh called us in for a serious conversation, and she says, not only is it cancer, but it's the kind of cancer we have never seen worldwide in a child.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: The only thing we know about that cancer is that it's highly aggressive and it's incurable.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: So much for business success, right?
27:00
SPEAKER_00: When you get a message like that.
27:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: So I decided, you know, at the time I was already, you know, teaching leadership and had done for many years, and actually I was very focused on feminine leadership.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: So I thought, okay, this might be a test that the feminine aspect that I teach can, you know, can can create miracles.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: So I said, give me that diagnosis.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: There must be something I can do.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: And she said, Yeah, you can go out in the alternative jungle and find a miracle.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: And I said, you know what?
27:28
SPEAKER_00: That's my specialty.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Give me that diagnosis.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And I went out and I found miracle upon miracle.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: Beautifully and luckily, that meant that my little six-year-old son did not suffer throughout his illness.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: He was actually so well from these miracles that the doctor said, we don't understand, you know, even when we give him chemotherapy, his immune system is above average.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: So he was a miracle.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: But nevertheless, to make a very long story short, um six months later, uh, six months after his diagnosis, we are celebrating that we cured his incurable cancer.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And the day after, he dies.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't die of the cancer, he dies of the side effect of, you know, that that healing modality we have found.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: The Danish hospital didn't believe this is this I tell us because this talk was about the power of belief.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: They were in the paradigm, you cannot cure this incurable cancer.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: So when we came and said, this little kid has been cured, you just have to help us with the side effects of the healing modality, they didn't believe that he had been cured, so they refused.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: And so, because they refused, he died.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: So that was a paradigm shift for me.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: How can a six-year-old even get cancer and how can he die?
28:51
SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, I mean, I didn't even know kids could get cancer.
28:54
SPEAKER_00: So the night he died was the longest night in my life.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's incredible what amount of thoughts you can think in one night.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: Because all my life passed in front of me, and I just recalibrated very, very fast all my beliefs.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: What had I been believing in?
29:16
SPEAKER_00: What had I been trusting?
29:18
SPEAKER_00: For example, I mean, some of you are from the United States, right?
29:21
SPEAKER_00: So I have I lived 10 years in New York City, and in the United States, you have this belief, you can't there's the you they have this saying, there's nothing you can't be do or have.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: And so I was brought up with that from my time in in, but but there was a cosmic uh cosmic uh fuck finger.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: There are some things you can't be do or have, because sometimes life just hits you with a truck.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: And that was my case right there.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: So it was just uh it was like revising everything I had believed in and everything I had thought, and of course, also, I mean, this huge wave of guilt.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: What have I done to cause this?
30:01
SPEAKER_00: Because if everything is my creation, what have I done wrong?
30:06
SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with me?
30:09
SPEAKER_00: And so I just knew that's not a very healthy thought form.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: So I knew if I keep thinking that I'm the next one with cancer, so I knew that wasn't a healthy path.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: So I evaluated my possibilities.
30:23
SPEAKER_00: There were three options.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh, actually, the first option was gone.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Normal was gone.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: So then I couldn't go there.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: So then the second option was to follow the law of gravity, and that's just like succumbing to, you know, just allowing myself to fall and allowing, you know, allowing my life to crumble and taking my children and my family and my business with me.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: And that was not a very attractive possibility for me, especially because I had two other kids, and I thought that's too early to lose the belief in a happy continuation.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: So I thought one son is in paradise, the two other sons deserve to be that too, and they deserve a happy mother.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: So option going down the drain was hereby erased.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: What was left?
31:10
SPEAKER_00: And so I remembered um a sentence I had read in a book years before, and the sentence was, why go down when you can go up?
31:22
SPEAKER_00: So I decided to go up instead of down.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: And at the time I had no idea what that meant, but I I really underlined if if the precious listeners of this podcast take nothing else away but this sentence.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: The power of a decision.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: Not something you like, yeah, maybe I should do that.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: A decision.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: For me, they would throw only three pass.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: The two other pairs were not attractive.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: So the decision to go up instead of down, that was actually a decision that unlocked new possibilities because it made I I think it made me look for what is the way up.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: So I I got access to new people, I got access to new ideas, I went on retreats, I said one one retreat, I said five nights in darkness.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: Five nights sitting up with straight back in darkness, and I my mission was I need to understand what had happened.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: And um what I got was access to other parts of the brain.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Actually, the brain scientists talk about the new brain.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: The new brain are the frontal lobes, and this is the place where we get access to holistic thinking.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: This is where we can see the bigger picture and create meaning with things.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: And um the monks talk about this place as the they call it the happy brain because here all is well, even when it looks like hell.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Here there's total acceptance, here there's expanded perspective, here there is like everything is connected in a beautiful manner that we can't even begin to understand.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: It is just so, so, so blessed.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: There's so much love, there's so much uh expansion, there's just so much peace.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: And I got access to that place, and from that place I could see what looks like a tragedy and a mother full of guilt and and shame, and you know, mother full of, you know, what have I done?
33:37
SPEAKER_00: What have I done?
33:38
SPEAKER_00: I could just see, well, maybe death isn't a bad thing.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is with the human heart, but I could just see a different perspective.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: Maybe the whole tapestry of life is woven in just perfect manners where everything fits and nothing happens by accident.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: I just got access to that perspective.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: And it it gave me peace in my heart, and the decision to work for uh work for humanity humanity elevating to that perspective where we understand our divine nature and understand how beautiful life is and how precious every single person is, and how everything is just wow, paradise on earth.
34:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: So this is a this is a long story to say to tell that I experienced this shift in perspective, and of course, in my daily life as a business owner and leadership developer and marketer and author and blah blah blah.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't sit in that all the time, but I do more and more.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Because I I recognize that's the most effective place I can work from, that's the most effective place I can be a mother from, the most effective place I can deal with relationships, even those who are those relationships that are a little bit difficult.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: And and to make a long story short, it has just given me access to the ideas and the opportunities and the people that have brought me to where I am today.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: So for that I'm very grateful.
35:16
SPEAKER_00: I could have I could have been crazy at this point or depressed or an alcoholic or something else.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: And I am not.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Thank God.
35:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, that's an incredible story.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: And you know, so so I mean, I I was getting emotional.
35:35
SPEAKER_01: Like you can't even think of those things.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: So hearing how you you talk about it, and I'm you know, so so happy that you were able to find, you know, come out of that, like you said, not not get sucked down, but rise up and find that kind of peace with it that you talked about.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: I think, and and thank you for sharing that with all of us.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: You're so welcome.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: It's uh I share it because it's uh it's it has really told me what's possible.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: So if it's possible for me, it must be possible for everyone else as well.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: And especially when we share it.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: And I actually experienced that when, you know, when I have my uh leadership um training participants, it's fascinating to me how I can give them in nine months what took me 14 years to receive, to understand.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: But that's because when we that's because we transmit to each other.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: So when you have experienced something, you can actually transmit that same consciousness to others.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: And that's fascinating and also very encouraging.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: It means that not all of us have to go through these kinds of experiences, not every single person has to upgrade.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: If we are just a critical mass, we will affect the rest.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: So that's also encouraging, I think.
36:51
SPEAKER_00: So when we look at the goom and doom of you know, big tech and this and the other, well, well, well, there's also another movement happening, and that's also effective.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: And we are also having a lot of influence.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: But maybe you can't see it yet, but you will.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: It's just an incredible perspective, and you know, you sharing that with others is uh very admirable.
37:16
unknown: Yeah.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: So well, it I'm just uh you know, it's it's not uh I don't consider it admirable.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: I I consider it uh my um my job.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: It's my job because I have experienced this and I've had the privilege.
37:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you've you've you know, you've put in that I've had the privilege to to be able to go up instead of down.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: And so I would really love for everyone to know that this is an option.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, you're you're doing the work to to spread that message, and um I guess you know, pivoting from there and thinking about the future as you talked about, like how do you move forward and the future that you create for yourself, just taking that back to business leaders.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Like, why do you think there are so many leaders that kind of wait for the future to happen rather than actively shaping the future they want to see?
38:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that most people have in their source code fear.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: So, because of this piece of source code, they are just so afraid, afraid to stop, afraid to to not do like everybody else, afraid that they will lose something or they will not gain something, or afraid of losing their job, or not getting that next position, or afraid of not earning enough money, or afraid of losing the money they earned.
38:46
SPEAKER_00: So fear occupies a lot of the bandwidth.
38:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: And what we as humans might not be aware of, and I think it's dawning on more and more of us, is that with fear as a source code, you're just gonna repeat that looping.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: When you replace that piece of source code with with faith, faith in your human nature, faith in your divinity, faith in your in your uh, I mean, the human heart is so strong.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, faith in your intuition, faith in in the good, the in benevolence, then you'd get a different uh result.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: Actually, good old Einstein, I'm sorry, I look, I sound like I quote him all the time, but but actually these are my two favorite quotes.
39:34
SPEAKER_00: Apparently, he also said the most important question a human can answer answer is do you believe we live in a cold, cynical, meaningless universe?
39:47
SPEAKER_00: Or do you believe we live in a benevolent, loving, um beautiful universe?
39:54
SPEAKER_00: And he said, your life will be accordingly.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: So I choose to believe, you know, and this took a little bit of effort for me after my son died.
40:09
SPEAKER_00: Because it also shakes the belief in in life and you know, the divine, and what is what is how is how is everything, you know, what are the rules in this universe?
40:20
SPEAKER_00: Since a thing like that can happen.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: I mean, did I do something wrong or did I do something right?
40:26
SPEAKER_00: Did I do something right?
40:28
SPEAKER_00: Or today when I think of it, I think, yeah, or did it just happen because I had the strength to meet it, or why?
40:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: Or is it just a thing that unfortunately happened?
40:42
SPEAKER_02: And uh and you know, and you just have this incredible ability to and and this strength, not jum so much ability, but the strength to actually make that decision to choose up as opposed to just disintegrate.
41:02
SPEAKER_02: Because let's well let's call a spade a spade here, Kirsten.
41:05
SPEAKER_02: You know, that that kind of bounce backness, if you can call it that, um, takes the strength of a whole platoon.
41:17
unknown: Right.
41:18
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say a hundred plus warriors.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:22
SPEAKER_02: It's uh I I mean so, so incredibly admirable that you forged on for your for your kids, and you forged on because you decided, right, I'm going to forge on, I'm not going to let this break me as much as it would be so much easier to do that.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: Just wow.
41:46
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't get one step further to give that gift to other people.
41:50
SPEAKER_01: Like you didn't just rise up for yourself, but then like how can you use what happened and the you know, that in learning and share it with others so that they can benefit from you know the unfortunate event that happened, right?
42:07
SPEAKER_01: I I think that's the part that's also so admirable.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: So incredibly so.
42:12
SPEAKER_02: And and if we if we take that and you know, and Christina's um question to you earlier, you know, with with your uh with your leadership academy.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: Um if you if you were gonna talk to a CEO today, right?
42:26
SPEAKER_02: What would be what would be the the the kind of risks or the biggest risks that you would be telling them to prepare for or to to pay attention to over the next over the next uh three to five years or so?
42:46
SPEAKER_00: Well the biggest risk is to be too narrow-minded to think you don't to think you know it all, to think that your their strategy hitherto that has brought you success hitherto will last.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: You could see in my case how that strategy disappeared in a moment.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: That can happen to all of us.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: So thinking that you know it all and that you don't need any help is makes you extremely vulnerable.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: I was just talking to an investor yesterday and he was like, Yeah, I want to have the so-and-so many.
43:17
SPEAKER_00: Uh I just want a woman on board so he could say that they had diversity and inclusion.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: I said, Do you also have some people on your board who understand the future and who understand how the rules of the game have changed?
43:27
SPEAKER_00: Do you have some people like that?
43:28
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, no, because he just wanted people who could focus on the bottom line.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: That's a typical example of old paradigm leadership.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: And I understand, it's not that I'm judging, because I understand as as CEOs and board members and investments, we are judged on the bottom line, but it's it's a way too narrow focus right now.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: When something like this happens, and in my case, I lost a child, but we could, you know, we all have to get familiar with death because the old world is dying.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Old systems, everything we used to do, it was we used to believe in the the the what how things used to be.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's just take the relationship between Denmark and the United States.
44:09
SPEAKER_00: It used to be so different, and now it's like, whoa, are we not friends?
44:13
SPEAKER_00: We thought we were friends.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: That kind of thing.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: You know, things can happen overnight.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: And if you look in the newspaper every day, there's like some new disruption that is just like a major disruption.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: What we used to think, oh, we we thought this was stable.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
44:29
SPEAKER_00: So to think that you know it all and not surround yourself or get some inputs from people who can read the label from out of the box.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is dangerous.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm trying to appeal to leaders and investors and say, you know what, if you could take just a little more time to reflect, you can alter the course of where you're heading.
44:50
SPEAKER_00: Because uh a lot of them think, oh, I don't have time for that.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: And that's the problem.
44:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: Because uh then you might be heading to, you know, then you might be ending up where you're heading to with that being on that course.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: So stopping and reflecting and just altering the course a little bit will will get you to a completely different place in the long run.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I'm saying to leaders, is it really the best investment you can make right now is to take the time and invest in upgrading your operating system because it will give you, it will allow you to see what you cannot see right now.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: It will take off your blinders, yeah, and you will discover that the world is bigger than you thought.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: And you will get access to many, many, many more options than you have with this narrow-minded focus.
45:34
SPEAKER_00: So that's my invitation to them.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: And many of them don't have time to listen.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, they need to make yeah, and they and once they listen, they're like, oh yeah, we better invest in some marketing strategy or some sales strategy or some more AI.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, good luck.
45:50
SPEAKER_00: Because you, you know, it will slip out of your hands.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: You will in two years you won't understand where you are, what how you got there, what all these agents are doing in your company that you don't you don't can't even control.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, how are you gonna be an effective leader on top of things in that in that way?
46:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't see how that can be possible.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't either.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: Um we're gonna we're gonna shift a little bit just into the the she part of she commerce.
46:19
SPEAKER_01: Um you you have described feminine leadership as proactive drive rooted in wisdom and embodied essence.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: So can you can you unpack that for us?
46:33
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, I've been working with um helping women discover and embody feminine power and feminine leadership and leadership based on the feminine model for many, many years.
46:50
SPEAKER_00: And the feminine lives outside of the head.
46:54
SPEAKER_00: It lives in the body, it lives in the heart, it lives in the con in the connection, you know, the the field, um, but also in our hormonal system, the glands, the intuition.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: So what I've been uh wanting what I've been learning myself, because I had to embark on that journey myself after many, many years being trained as uh being a man, which most of us, you know, when we uh generation X, we we we come out of our uh youth and thinking that the masculine is the role model and the feminine is secondary, right?
47:36
SPEAKER_00: So it took me a while to uh integrate, you know, to even look up the feminine, discover what is the feminine, and then work on integrating it and then sharing it with others.
47:49
SPEAKER_00: And the idea that I have now, or the how I look at it now, is that we are um as women, we have uh a natural design, we're designed differently than men, and many women look at that as a disadvantage, and I say, no, no, no, no, no, that's a huge advantage.
48:14
SPEAKER_00: Actually, when you understand the genius of the feminine design, you also understand why the feminine has been suppressed for 5,000 years.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: Because it is in a zillion ways much stronger than the masculine design.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: We are actually more resilient, we're more sensitive, but we are also more resilient if we navigate our own design properly.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: So and I have sons, so I I always make sure that I don't talk um about, you know, I have sons, so I have a lot of compassion for the masculine.
48:51
SPEAKER_00: It's definitely not it's not easy for either of us and all the all the people in between, uh definitely not.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: So but but uh the the feminine is you know, I believe that for women it's important to understand your feminine essence and to be rooted in that, to not abandon it.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: For example, uh uh suppress your your hormonal system, you know, overrule it, uh pressuring yourself too much, uh w sleeping too little, eating bad food, that that overrules the fine, fine, fine, fine signals from the hormonal system because if you allow those signals to emerge and to inform you, you can have a very precise, the most precise inner GPS on the in the universe.
49:46
SPEAKER_00: And so when we suppress that, we miss out on that.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: And this is one of the our biggest gifts in the AI era is that you know, AI can everything in theory and everything with words and a lot of things with analyzers and comparing and blah blah blah.
50:07
SPEAKER_00: Hallelujah, thank you for that.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I think that AI is a gift for women that way, because all the things that women have really, really um I would say a lot of women don't have a natural love for those things.
50:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, not all women, but some women like myself don't have it's you know, Excel spreadsheets are not my favorite.
50:31
SPEAKER_00: So I'm very happy that AI can do all that stuff.
50:34
SPEAKER_00: But I would like to spend my energy uh getting in touch with downloading from the pure future what wants to happen and how can I support evolution?
50:51
SPEAKER_00: That's the feminine gift, and so when we learn to do that, we get also access to evolutionary backwind and evolutionary upwind.
51:03
SPEAKER_00: So I believe that's a much better investment for us as female entrepreneurs and female leaders to align with with our our wisdom and the drive comes from purpose when we know our purpose why we're here and what we can contribute and how important, and this can I cannot underline this enough, how incredibly important women are for humanity right now.
51:29
SPEAKER_00: We are the ones we've been waiting for.
51:31
SPEAKER_00: We are the ones who can change this world, and we have to do it.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: This is the ultimate purpose for everybody on the planet.
51:39
SPEAKER_00: But if women don't do it, if women are not interested in bringing about the mass masculine-feminine balance, who is going to do it?
51:47
SPEAKER_00: I I can tell you, I I don't think it's gonna come from the men.
51:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, we've left them in charge for so long, and look at what's going on in the world right now, right?
51:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, but the but that's because of the imbalance.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, I I wrote a good book about that in Scandinavian.
52:05
SPEAKER_00: It's called The Future is Feminine.
52:07
SPEAKER_00: In English, it has a different title, but um the point is is is very well summed up by this um Tirocan prophecy, which I love, and I will quote it because it's it it makes so much sense.
52:19
SPEAKER_00: So the prophecy is that if we in if we um see humanity as a bird, so the bird of humanity has for a very, very long time flown with the masculine only the masculine wing.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: The feminine wing has been like hanging a little bit there.
52:34
SPEAKER_00: So we've been like flapping the masculine wing, and at this point it's so strong, but it's also overpowering to the point where it's violent and destructive.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: So what needs to happen now is that we extend the feminine wing so then the masculine wing can relax, and the bird of humanity can soar up to that level, I say, to that level of consciousness where the solutions to our problems can be found.
52:59
SPEAKER_00: And this is the job for all genders.
53:03
SPEAKER_00: Extend both your wings in balance so you can soar up to that level.
53:08
SPEAKER_00: But if women don't do it, I don't see how this can happen.
53:13
SPEAKER_00: So women play an incredible role this this time.
53:16
SPEAKER_00: Actually, a lot of times I see men being more uh in touch with their feminine than women are because we've been so busy for the past 50 years becoming super masculine in order to survive.
53:26
SPEAKER_00: So we have we have to unlearn and relearn.
53:31
SPEAKER_02: I think I think we I think we're seeing that.
53:34
SPEAKER_02: We're seeing that a lot with uh with the generations coming up and with the way that we're raising our daughters too, right?
53:40
SPEAKER_02: Um and I you know the the the they're stronger, but they are not masculinely stronger.
53:49
SPEAKER_02: They're strong feminine people, which which is which is uh as you say, it's a it's a huge shift from from uh how it was when we were kids.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Um Kirsten, this has been a really um intense and and and uh incredible conversation with you.
54:10
SPEAKER_02: And it's we've gone through so many different topics and it's been fabulously deep.
54:15
SPEAKER_02: So now we're gonna shift and pivot to a lightning round.
54:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, and it is basically I will ask a question, and it's the first word or the first thing that comes into your mind.
54:27
SPEAKER_02: It's a quick fire round.
54:30
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna get started.
54:32
SPEAKER_02: One leadership book that you think every woman needs to read.
54:36
SPEAKER_00: Human OS Upgrade has not come out yet, but that's my upcoming book.
54:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's the one that uh Charlie Zales has written their foreword for, right?
54:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I believe it.
54:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have several coming out, but I believe she will write the forward.
54:50
SPEAKER_00: Oh, she's written the foreword for that one, yes.
54:52
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
54:53
SPEAKER_01: All right, which what is the AI tool you use most?
54:59
SPEAKER_00: Claude.
55:00
SPEAKER_00: For now.
55:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm switching to European one soon.
55:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh you heard it first.
55:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh, very good.
55:08
SPEAKER_00: Um Yeah, and because of data protection, of course.
55:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fact um one female leader everyone should know.
55:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, you mentioned Shelly yourself yourself, Shelly Zales, who's extraordinary, and why people should know her is because she's a rebel with a course, and she's very good at being a rebel.
55:30
SPEAKER_00: But another one that I really encourage people to know is Lynn Twist.
55:35
SPEAKER_00: She is an extraordinary woman and just so inspiring, talking about, you know, living a committed life, but she's also a very big protector of the rainforest, and she's just beautiful, beautiful soul.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
55:53
SPEAKER_01: Uh, what is your go-to hype song that you listen to before those keynotes or major meetings?
56:01
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I listen listen to mantras because mantras bring the the mind into neutral and it opens.
56:08
SPEAKER_00: So I have many different mantras that I listen to, and um I listen to one of my favorites is um the Buddha um medicine mantra, which is which the mantra is about, you know, if every plant, every creature on the planet, every insect, every animal, every river, every forest, every flower came together and prayed that we could change the world.
56:35
SPEAKER_00: So that's the Buddha medicine mantra.
56:38
SPEAKER_00: And so I listen a lot to that and uh hope that it that it works.
56:45
SPEAKER_02: Fingers crossed.
56:46
SPEAKER_02: And then and finally, one word that describes the future.
56:52
SPEAKER_00: Right, in my view.
56:53
SPEAKER_00: But we might go through a couple of um years in darkness before, and we can shorten those years by amping up our leadership.
57:02
SPEAKER_00: So I hope that we have will animate a whole horde of wise feminine and also masculine leaders, but the the collaboration to uh co-creating uh a world that works for all, that's our job right now.
57:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:20
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
57:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, Kirsten, we always like to finish with a final thought.
57:25
SPEAKER_01: So if is there one belief that about leadership specifically that you would love uh every listener to kind of unlearn today, as you mentioned, what would that what would that be?
57:39
SPEAKER_00: That leadership uh has has to do with the title, but it's about you know what's what's on your business card or what does it say on your LinkedIn profile.
57:48
SPEAKER_00: Leadership is something you take.
57:51
SPEAKER_00: It's not something you're given, it's something you take.
57:53
SPEAKER_00: You you discover some an unmet need in the world and you say, you know what, I'll fulfill that need.
57:59
SPEAKER_00: And then you step in and then you then you fulfill that need.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: That is leadership.
58:04
SPEAKER_00: And I also like the expression leader shaping, because with our leadership, we shape.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: So that's why it's so important.
58:12
SPEAKER_00: And you were saying before, Ajax, you were talking about how you said that it was remarkable that I I um you know went up instead of down.
58:20
SPEAKER_00: But actually that's the difference between victimhood and leadership.
58:24
SPEAKER_00: Because because when you're when you're a victim, you're just like you're just a victim of circumstances and you you feel powerless and you can't do anything.
58:33
SPEAKER_00: And I experienced the opposite, and I uh that's uh I cannot uh encourage people enough to uh to understand the agency we all have.
58:44
SPEAKER_00: Because we have choice.
58:47
SPEAKER_00: As opposed to a plant or an animal, you know, there's a little there's a little difference between stimuli, there's a little distance between stimuli and response.
58:56
SPEAKER_00: And we in that in that little distance, we can choose how to respond.
59:01
SPEAKER_00: And that's our true power.
59:03
SPEAKER_00: So we don't have to go down the drain.
59:07
SPEAKER_00: We can choose to go up instead of down, and the more we do it, the easier it'll become, and we can help each other.
59:12
SPEAKER_02: Christina, I swear there have been so many swag bites in this conversation that I'm like, I mean, I swear to God, so many t-shirts.
59:22
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
59:24
SPEAKER_01: So many t-shirts, all the t-shirts.
59:28
SPEAKER_02: Kirsten, before we let you go, uh at Chi Commerce, we're building, as you know, and as we talked about before, something so much bigger than a podcast.
59:36
SPEAKER_02: And you know, we're building a global sisterhood of women and allies who believe leadership is stronger when more voices are heard.
59:45
SPEAKER_02: And you clearly follow that that same message.
59:49
SPEAKER_02: So we'd love to invite you to join our She Commerce Pledge to paid forward, to amplify women's voices, to challenge outdated systems, to elevate women and to create the future rather than wait for it.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_02: Will you take that pledge with us?
1:00:06
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for joining us today.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, this this conversation has been enlightening for sure, inspiring and and also challenging, but uh in in the best ways.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_01: And you know, that's that's how you learn and how you grow.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: And I want to thank everyone listening as well.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_01: And if you know today's conversation resonated with you, I think uh sharing this episode can be so powerful if you know someone that is has experienced a loss or is trying to navigate a change in their life or lead through uncertainty or just future-proof their career.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_01: I think you know, the future, as you said, doesn't belong to isn't is here for us to shape it.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_01: And it belongs to those people who are going to predict it.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_01: And I love the word leadership.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_01: That is amazing.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna use that.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_01: So it belongs to all of us to help.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_01: It's our duty to help create that future that we want.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
1:01:10
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
1:01:10
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_00: And let's make it a bright one.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:01:15
SPEAKER_02: So, as well as thanking our phenomenal guest, Kirsten Stendemat, we would also like to thank you, our amazing listeners, for tuning in and joining us.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_02: So, all that's left to say is bull brands, fairest women, one sisterhood.