Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Parenting Season #1 - The Hiking Guide | Ep. 04

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Parenting Season #1 - The Hiking Guide | Ep. 04 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:59
  Cheryl: It's interesting ellen, because we're getting ready to talk through the seasons of parenting.
• 1:05
  Cheryl: And we're starting off here with the first season, I'm going to ask you basically the same question I did when we started our discussion on chores.
• 1:13
  Cheryl: How do you think your life BC, before children prepared you or didn't prepare you for parenting?
• 1:20
  Ellen: Oh, I was completely unprepared for parenting.
• 1:23
  Ellen: I was just one of two children.
• 1:26
  Ellen: And then I didn't like to babysit cause I didn't think they paid enough.
• 1:30
  Ellen: And so I really had very, very little experience with children.
• 1:37
  Ellen: And the first newborn baby I ever held was my own son.
• 1:41
  Cheryl: No way.
• 1:42
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 1:42
  Cheryl: When you say you weren't prepared you to literally,
• 1:44
  Ellen: literally I figured I started actually working, so
• 1:49
  Cheryl: you'd never gave a bottle.
• 1:51
  Cheryl: You've never changed a diaper.
• 1:53
  Ellen: And that was okay.
• 1:54
  Ellen: The reasons I didn't like babysitting.
• 1:55
  Ellen: So as soon as I could, when my girlfriend could drive, we got a job at Jack in the box together because to me that was a lot more fun than babysitting.
• 2:03
  Cheryl: How so you weren't prepared?
• 2:05
  Cheryl: No, because you didn't do anything.
• 2:07
  Cheryl: I was the oldest daughter, there are four of us and I did so much childcare and taking care and I've washed my little sisters and I helped a lot diapered and everything.
• 2:22
  Cheryl: So spent a lot of time and I was a baby person.
• 2:25
  Cheryl: And so I did a lot
• 2:26
  Ellen: so it was really fun for you.
• 2:29
  Cheryl: I did a lot of babysitting all of it.
• 2:32
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 2:33
  Cheryl: Nothing prepared me for motherhood because it was like an entirely new universe when Rebecca showed up on the scene.
• 2:42
  Ellen: That's right.
• 2:42
  Ellen: Because that's your first baby
• 2:46
  Cheryl: nothing applied because this was our daughter and I cared more for her life than I did for mine.
• 2:56
  Cheryl: And I never felt that.
• 2:58
  Cheryl: Even my little sisters, I loved them.
• 3:00
  Cheryl: But it was completely different.
• 3:02
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:02
  Ellen: And all the heaviness of the responsibility, as they say, the buck stops here.
• 3:07
  Cheryl: It's true.
• 3:08
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 3:08
  Cheryl: And so there's a lot for that first season.
• 3:13
  Cheryl: And so I'm excited about what we can talk about and hopefully, maybe equip and encourage moms.
• 3:19
  Cheryl: With what we share.
• 3:21
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:21
  Ellen: This information spills over into the other years in the older years and really all sorts of adult relationships that we have with people.
• 3:29
  Ellen: This episode, we're going to be talking about the early years of childhood and things that are some of the things that are involved in that.
• 3:37
  Ellen: And I know one of the words that's really important in those early years is imprinting.
• 3:43
  Ellen: And you have a understanding of that
• 3:44
  Cheryl: Absolutely.Whether I did it well or not?
• 3:49
  Cheryl: It's a fascinating thing.
• 3:51
  Cheryl: The cutest example of imprinting is baby ducklings.
• 3:54
  Cheryl: Cause we all know how adorable they are and what happens the way they were created.
• 4:03
  Cheryl: God put into them that whatever they see when they break out of their shell, that's what they follow.
• 4:10
  Cheryl: So vast majority of cases, they see their mom and I think it's the first week they're born.
• 4:17
  Cheryl: They can swim.
• 4:19
  Cheryl: So then mom will take them soon into the water because a lot of times they're safer in the water than they are on the shore.
• 4:26
  Cheryl: And so that's called imprinting and what they found, if the mom's not around, when they happen to hatch, if it's the farmer or some other animal in the barnyard or something, those babies will imprint and they will follow and do what
• 4:42
  Ellen: The First thing they saw.
• 4:43
  Ellen: Okay.
• 4:44
  Cheryl: That's a principle for this season Our children are imprinting following us.
• 4:50
  Cheryl: Cause like we've used the idea of a hiking guide that were the hiking guide and they're imprinting following behind us and learning from us.
• 5:00
  Ellen: that's a good idea.
• 5:01
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 5:02
  Ellen: Talking about that.
• 5:02
  Ellen: That reminds me of a funny story with my kids when they were young.
• 5:07
  Ellen: And one day all the kids got dressed up in their dress up clothes and got all ready and they had purses and just, they have high heels on and they were little.
• 5:18
  Ellen: And then I hear one of my daughtersgo, come on, let's go to the bar.
• 5:24
  Ellen: And my heart skipped a beat.
• 5:26
  Ellen: I went, why are they thinking they can go to the bar?
• 5:29
  Ellen: I know we live in Las Vegas.
• 5:30
  Cheryl: What were they thinking.
• 5:31
  Cheryl: Las Vegas, every other building is a bar.
• 5:33
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 5:33
  Ellen: But they didn't know what a bar was.
• 5:35
  Ellen: We didn't go to bars, but they didn't know.
• 5:38
  Ellen: And then I stayed pretty calm and I finally said, oh wait, where are you going?
• 5:44
  Ellen: You're going to the bar?
• 5:45
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 5:45
  Ellen: We're going to the salad bar.
• 5:48
  Ellen: I went, yay.
• 5:51
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 5:52
  Cheryl: You get an, a plus on that because I think like calling it imprinting Yeah.
• 5:59
  Cheryl: So much more in this season, more than even many of the others.
• 6:04
  Cheryl: So many things are caught rather than taught.
• 6:07
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 6:07
  Ellen: That is so true.
• 6:08
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 6:09
  Cheryl: And so they had caught something from you, but what you really taught them is the way you responded to.
• 6:18
  Cheryl: Because, not to make it a big thing, but let's take it as a test case because I will say a lot of my life I have reacted.
• 6:27
  Cheryl: And you said you stopped yourself.
• 6:30
  Ellen: Cause my brain reacted in, oh my gosh.
• 6:33
  Cheryl: And you responded because the moms listening to us, you and me, all of us have different circumstances.
• 6:40
  Cheryl: We have all the different choices there are maybe 50,000 websites of people telling you what to do with your little child.
• 6:49
  Ellen: That is so true.
• 6:50
  Cheryl: And so you can choose whatever pattern you're going to do, or your chore charts or how you're going to feed them what you're going to do.
• 7:00
  Cheryl: But those are really the trappings, because what's really important is there hearts Ellen, when we look at everything else.
• 7:10
  Cheryl: And certainly as we have the perspective of years looking back, it wasn't, it wasn't the details of things because when they're six or seven or 10 or 20, it's their hearts and their souls.
• 7:26
  Cheryl: All the rest of their lives.
• 7:28
  Cheryl: What are they getting from us?
• 7:30
  Cheryl: How are we imprinting?
• 7:33
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 7:34
  Cheryl: Their souls.
• 7:34
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 7:35
  Ellen: That's very good point.
• 7:36
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 7:37
  Ellen: Now that I think back on it, I did do the right thing.
• 7:40
  Ellen: I, in my head I was reacting, but I calmed down enough and took a deep breath and I responded properly to them.
• 7:49
  Cheryl: So I think that's really good if we're talking about what we want them to catch from us and it's their hearts we care about, then this huge divide between reacting and responding, or being responsive to them.
• 8:05
  Cheryl: So rather than reacting and both of us are reacting type.
• 8:09
  Cheryl: People tend to be positive or negative, the term reacting I'm coming out of my emotions.
• 8:16
  Ellen: Yes.
• 8:17
  Cheryl: And I have to change if I'm going to be responsive.
• 8:20
  Cheryl: And I'll tell you hands down, when we use this word responsive, actually when psychologists and all the studies and the writing, everyone agrees that this warmth, emotional responsiveness to our children is what builds their hearts and souls to flourish better in life.
• 8:46
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 8:47
  Cheryl: Let me give you two examples.
• 8:48
  Cheryl: Actually, I think about in my life and they're both benign things, but.
• 8:53
  Cheryl: I think it's a good example of what we're talking about, reacting or responding, because reacting to sometimes you think screaming and yelling.
• 9:00
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 9:01
  Cheryl: Again, I didn't know anything.
• 9:03
  Cheryl: I was trying to figure it all out.
• 9:04
  Cheryl: One of the things in figuring out with Rebecca first I had decided it would be so selfish of me if I didn't always respond immediately to her But now I'm understanding it's actually react to her.
• 9:20
  Cheryl: And if I let her cry because I was doing something else, I thought it was selfish.
• 9:25
  Cheryl: I can literally remember being in the shower and it felt so good and the warmth and enjoying it.
• 9:33
  Cheryl: And I would turn the shower off and listen to see if she was up awaken and I felt this was good parenting because.I'm
• 9:39
  Ellen: Being constantly attentive,
• 9:42
  Cheryl: So attentive, and I'm not being selfish.
• 9:45
  Cheryl: And back then we used cloth diapers cause it was cheaper.
• 9:50
  Cheryl: Also it was sunshine on the cloth is healthier and all of that.
• 9:54
  Cheryl: And so I can remember hanging up the diapers in the backyard and going to the window and listening because I thought that was being an attentive.
• 10:05
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 10:05
  Ellen: That makes sense with you're first born.
• 10:07
  Cheryl: I know, but I was being a reactive mother because I was coming out of emotion instead of responding with what she really needed, because if we put that on extending it, if I had continued that, what would she have learned?
• 10:23
  Cheryl: Because this is about character and soul building.
• 10:26
  Cheryl: She would have learned the world revolves around me, selfishness.
• 10:30
  Cheryl: Self-centeredness it's all about me.
• 10:33
  Cheryl: Self-focus everyone is here for me and what I want immediate gratification
• 10:39
  Ellen: And really what you're saying, it isn't what you did or didn't do.
• 10:43
  Ellen: It was what was inside your heart.
• 10:44
  Cheryl: It was an emotional decisions, not well thought out.
• 10:50
  Cheryl: And then there's another time.
• 10:51
  Cheryl: Thankful that I had learned, but this was a new one to me.
• 10:55
  Cheryl: So I was in the kitchen and I don't know what I was doing.
• 10:58
  Cheryl: I was cooking or cleaning up.
• 10:59
  Cheryl: I think I was cleaning the kitchen and she came out and said, mom, mom, come and look.
• 11:04
  Cheryl: And so she was two and a half or three.
• 11:06
  Cheryl: And Rebecca talked well, so it's hard to know.
• 11:09
  Cheryl: She was under three.
• 11:10
  Cheryl: So she said, come here, I want to show you this, whatever she was doing.
• 11:14
  Cheryl: And I said just a minute, because I have to finish this up.
• 11:17
  Cheryl: So see, I'd learned that I cared more about her to develop her heart and learning that she had to wait some.
• 11:25
  Cheryl: And so I was responding rather than reacting.
• 11:29
  Cheryl: And she said, okay.
• 11:30
  Cheryl: So she went back to her room.
• 11:32
  Cheryl: I finished.
• 11:33
  Cheryl: And my first thought was.
• 11:35
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 11:36
  Cheryl: I could do another load of laundry first because she was happy.
• 11:40
  Cheryl: And I'm so thankful because I took the time and I waited and I thought, no, this is one of those huge teaching moments.
• 11:48
  Cheryl (2): Am I going to be a mom that she can trust with consistency that I'll do what I say I'll do.
• 11:54
  Cheryl (2): So she feels, sort of the security of saying, oh, I don't mind waiting
• 11:59
  Ellen: because Mom's gonna keep her word and she's going to come.
• 12:01
  Cheryl: So I'm amazed because as we're talking about this, I actually did.
• 12:06
  Cheryl: what we're talking about.
• 12:07
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Ellen: And you actually thought about it.
• 12:09
  Cheryl: Ellen, what does it take so that we can learn to be this?
• 12:14
  Cheryl: Because I don't know a mother that doesn't care about their child's heart.
• 12:18
  Cheryl: But like my two examples, I just didn't know.
• 12:21
  Cheryl: And same with you.
• 12:23
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 12:23
  Ellen: When you, when you're in those, those early imprinting years, it is really hard because you're, especially if it's your first one-year learning as you go your learning on the job, as they say.
• 12:34
  Ellen: And I know that I'm a very reactive person, but I've learned to be more responsive.
• 12:41
  Ellen: Because usually reactive doesn't always have a good ending
• 12:45
  Cheryl: Well, when you study how our brains were created, the reacting.
• 12:50
  Cheryl: We're in stuck in emotions and it's reacting very interesting.
• 12:54
  Cheryl: They say just two breaths.
• 12:57
  Cheryl: If you slow down and take two breaths, that it gives you time for your brain to get to the thinking responding area
• 13:05
  Ellen: Yeah that makes sense.
• 13:05
  Cheryl: To have this kind of information.
• 13:07
  Cheryl: But even the two of us, we didn't have this information, but the first example with the running to the window on all of that.
• 13:14
  Cheryl: I was reacting out of my emotions.
• 13:17
  Cheryl: And maybe, probably even some fear, fear that she would feel abandoned if she had to cry for more than five seconds.
• 13:25
  Cheryl: And I wasn't holding her and the other, I slowed down.
• 13:31
  Cheryl: And like I said, if, if you're in those two breaths, it really does work two breaths.
• 13:37
  Cheryl: And then you can think through and respond.
• 13:40
  Ellen: And that's such good training for all of us as humans, cause you can't always control how you react internally, but you can control how you want to respond to it.
• 13:50
  Cheryl: That's right.
• 13:51
  Cheryl: And that's what we're trying to do.
• 13:53
  Cheryl: We're trying to help our children learn how to respond as well as us.
• 13:57
  Cheryl: And they can only learn that if we're responding properly.
• 14:00
  Cheryl (2): That goes back to the caught rather than taught If we're reacting out of our emotions, Yes.
• 14:05
  Cheryl (2): And in the moment, what are we teaching them?
• 14:07
  Cheryl (2): And then if we are taking our time breathing and it's a really great thing, I've seen parents do it literally when their children are melting and reacting completely out of their emotions, help them slow down, take a couple of breasths, get a little control over the emotion.
• 14:27
  Cheryl (2): And then they're able to talk about it.
• 14:29
  Cheryl (2): I can't do that when I'm triggered you
• 14:30
  Ellen: No, can't either.
• 14:32
  Ellen: Yes.
• 14:32
  Ellen: Yes.
• 14:34
  Cheryl: So if this is the way we want to help these young moms, and I know some may be disappointed saying, oh, we thought you'd give us
• 14:42
  Ellen: yeah.
• 14:43
  Ellen: The five, the five steps, whatever.
• 14:46
  Cheryl (2): There's so much information out there.
• 14:47
  Ellen: You guys have the world at your fingertips with the internet and you can find lots of good information.
• 14:53
  Cheryl (2): A suggestion, I would say, use this kind of information as a lens.
• 15:00
  Cheryl (2): Are they teaching you
• 15:01
  Ellen: like a filter?
• 15:02
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 15:02
  Cheryl: Filter.
• 15:03
  Cheryl: Is this website, is this person, is this guru, is this podcast helping you to learn through the filter of responding warmly to your children, concerned about their heart rather than reacting out of whatever it is.
• 15:19
  Cheryl: Particularly fear.
• 15:20
  Cheryl: I think fear is an enormous motivator in our lives or controller in so many young moms' lives
• 15:29
  Ellen: yeah.
• 15:30
  Ellen: I think for, for all age moms, yes.
• 15:33
  Ellen: It is, I agree.
• 15:34
  Ellen: Fear is so detrimental to all of us and we don't even recognize it as fear sometimes.
• 15:39
  Cheryl: All right.
• 15:40
  Cheryl: So to get more practical, what are some actual steps besides the breathing?
• 15:45
  Cheryl: What else could we develop to say this is how to be an emotionally responsive mom rather than a reactive mom?
• 15:53
  Ellen: I think one of the first things I would think about would just be being aware and alert.
• 15:59
  Cheryl: That's true/ now.
• 16:01
  Cheryl: Alert though for me sometimes I was alert to Rebecca, but I was doing it out of fear instead of responding,
• 16:10
  Ellen: But it's like a fireman.
• 16:12
  Ellen: A fireman works all day at the station, cleans the firetruck makes meals, whatever firemen do, video games, whatever firemen do, but they're always listening for the alarm and they're always staying alert for the alarm.
• 16:28
  Ellen: And when the alarm goes off, they don't panic.
• 16:31
  Ellen: They respond.
• 16:32
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 16:33
  Ellen: That's where they're called first responders.
• 16:35
  Cheryl: What a great picture, because they do.
• 16:39
  Cheryl: They're intentionally responding.
• 16:41
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 16:42
  Cheryl: And there's no fear involved.
• 16:43
  Ellen: No, and they're not tripping over themselves.
• 16:45
  Ellen: They've got it all down to an art who goes, where they're out the door to put out the fire.
• 16:51
  Cheryl (2): That's excellent.
• 16:51
  Cheryl (2): So awareness and alertness to help us be responsive.
• 16:55
  Cheryl (2): And then I think a huge thing also, absolutely.
• 16:59
  Cheryl (2): With devices in the electronic world that we're in.
• 17:03
  Cheryl (2): Simplify, because it's too much input.
• 17:07
  Cheryl (2): If those firemen had 10 or 12 alarms going off every hour, how in the world?
• 17:13
  Cheryl (2): Could they gather themselves to be able to respond correctly?
• 17:17
  Ellen: I totally agree.
• 17:18
  Ellen: We just have too much external things in our lives.
• 17:21
  Ellen: And if there's any way possible trying to simplify your life as a mom cutting out.
• 17:29
  Ellen: We're not just talking about devices, but just making your day to day living more simple, cutting out things that aren't really necessary
• 17:40
  Cheryl (2): We know we don't live life and we don'tparent in a vacuum, but.
• 17:45
  Cheryl (2): If we can grasp simplifying in some ways, then we have maybe the emotional bandwidth so that we can respond out of it to our kids having too much going on.
• 17:59
  Ellen: Yes.
• 17:59
  Ellen: I know, My husband was active duty military for 30 years.
• 18:03
  Ellen: So we had an extremely busy life.
• 18:06
  Ellen: We had functions all the time with his work things we had to go to.
• 18:12
  Ellen: We had groups we belong to that we did once a week, people that came to groups at our house once a week.
• 18:19
  Ellen: So from the time my children were little, I had way too much going on.
• 18:24
  Ellen: And that's one of the things I said to my daughters don't do as much as I did
• 18:30
  Cheryl: You mean, youur grown daughters,
• 18:31
  Ellen: My grown exactly my I'm sorry, my adult daughters, I told them do not do as much stuff as I did because I just was trapped with too much stuff.
• 18:42
  Cheryl: And you're too scattered.
• 18:43
  Ellen: Absolutely
• 18:44
  Cheryl: A Fireman that was responsible for the Western United States.
• 18:48
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 18:49
  Cheryl: And how can you respond correctly when you're triggered all the time?
• 18:53
  Ellen: And it's hard when you're younger, you sometimes don't know what's a legitimate pressure and what isn't and, and he was in a position where he was expected to have things look a certain way and be a certain way.
• 19:05
  Ellen: And that's a lot of pressure and I know some women out there will have have businesses and things are that way, but you do have to say, is this really necessary?
• 19:15
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 19:15
  Cheryl: To cut back.
• 19:17
  Cheryl: So I'm going to ask you a really honest question.
• 19:19
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 19:19
  Cheryl: And this is for all moms, all ages, when you went to your girls and you said I didn't do it the right way, learn from me and do it this a better way.
• 19:29
  Cheryl: Did you apologize to them?
• 19:31
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 19:32
  Ellen: I said, that's probably how I started it.
• 19:34
  Ellen: I said, I just want to say, and I have three daughters, three adult daughters, and I, set it over a period of time.
• 19:39
  Ellen: I just, I just want to tell you that, I'm sorry that I had so much going on in my life that sometimes I wasn't responsive to maybe what you needed in themoment.
• 19:51
  Cheryl: I will tell you, I think what you did is almost the top of everything we could possibly do in parenting.
• 20:00
  Cheryl: Is be genuine enough and humble enough to apologize correctly to your children.
• 20:07
  Ellen: Yes, it has, it has to be sincere.
• 20:09
  Ellen: Otherwise it's just lip service.
• 20:11
  Cheryl: Like you're saying lots of another thing I wanted to point out.
• 20:14
  Cheryl: It's very interesting because.
• 20:18
  Cheryl: You said the way you did chores from you're talking about that.
• 20:21
  Cheryl: It was very simple, very straightforward, very limited and direct,
• 20:26
  Ellen: Right.
• 20:27
  Cheryl: And yet your lifestyle wasn't, it was so much more scattered and too many different things.
• 20:33
  Ellen: It was fun.
• 20:34
  Ellen: but it would just was too much with a family of five children.
• 20:39
  Ellen: We moved 19 times in 30 years.
• 20:43
  Ellen: So
• 20:44
  Cheryl: That's a lot of distractions.
• 20:45
  Ellen: Yes, it is.
• 20:46
  Ellen: It is.
• 20:46
  Ellen: We have very flexible children needless to say,
• 20:50
  Cheryl: Plus you did live in a Hawaii
• 20:52
  Ellen: yeah.
• 20:53
  Ellen: Yes.
• 20:53
  Ellen: We weren't really suffering.
• 20:57
  Cheryl: All right.
• 20:57
  Cheryl: So let's get it down.
• 20:58
  Cheryl: We've talked about all of this and I really do think this is a core deep foundation beginning with our little imprinters.
• 21:08
  Cheryl: What would you say if we could leave one thing to say moms in your season of zero to five-ish, what would you leave those moms with?
• 21:20
  Cheryl: I think I would say.
• 21:23
  Cheryl: A little bit of what we're saying here.
• 21:24
  Cheryl: And if we don't simplify, we can't relax a little bit relax without removing the awareness.
• 21:33
  Cheryl: That's I guess that's it relax just a little bit, breathe a little deeper.
• 21:38
  Cheryl: Yet still be aware with them.
• 21:40
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 21:40
  Ellen: Yes.
• 21:41
  Ellen: Both within your own heart and situationally.
• 21:44
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 21:45
  Cheryl: But you can't, if we don't simplify, we don't prioritize like that, shrug it off a little bit, but stay aware of your children.
• 21:55
  Ellen: Yeah, that's very good.
• 21:57
  Ellen: And I think for me Would be enjoy your children.
• 22:01
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 22:01
  Cheryl: That was the other word I was trying to choose between the two.
• 22:04
  Cheryl: Absolutely.
• 22:05
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 22:05
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 22:06
  Ellen: And I think that I enjoyed my children, but I could have enjoyed them more if I wasn't so obsessed with other things and getting things done that weren't as important.
• 22:15
  Ellen: And I think that's an important thing.
• 22:18
  Ellen: Loving your children and enjoying your time with them and that you won't get that stage of their life back again.
• 22:25
  Cheryl: That's true.
• 22:26
  Cheryl: I mean it in a blink of an eye and I know everyone tells you that moms.
• 22:30
  Ellen: And when you're there, it doesn't feel like it because I remember when people would tell me that and I would be like, okay, this is the 500th time I've changed a diaper in an hour.
• 22:40
  Ellen: It doesn't feel like it's going to go by quickly, but it does.
• 22:43
  Cheryl: Or whatever you're trying to teach or work on.
• 22:46
  Cheryl: But if we slowed down because I did enjoy my children, like I said, I happened to like children a lot and I'm by nature, rather nurturing.
• 22:56
  Cheryl: But it was when I got too much, when I was stretched too far, the enjoyment left and it wasn't all fun and games, and that's what I encourage you.
• 23:06
  Cheryl: Moms try to use some of this so you can get yourself in a place where your little imprinting ducks.
• 23:14
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 23:15
  Cheryl: know that they're enjoyed.
• 23:17
  Cheryl: And that you laugh with them more.
• 23:19
  Ellen: Yes.
• 23:20
  Ellen: Because those are the memories that you will have forever.
• 23:23
  Cheryl: Sure.
• 23:23
  Cheryl: It is.
• 23:24
  Cheryl: Unfortunately our time is gone moms until next time, remember, hang in there, keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth it.
• 23:37
  Ellen: Yes it is.